I always felt weird being called a "man"

[♠Soul♠]

And this isn't anything in regards to that weird gender confusion crap, it's just more-so the all the connotations and weight that comes with that word. Whenever I think "man", I think "serious person, beard, old, tons of unwanted responsibilities" and things that I wouldn't want to associate with (and I hate beards). And this shouldn't even have to take from being an adult, or having responsibilities for yourself, but I always just felt weird being called a "man".

I just feel like being me before any stupid label of what I'm "supposed" to be, given my age, and it's not like I'm necessarily being immature (another thing people think of too linearly).

I don't know, man. Just my half cent.

Edited November 16, 2022 by ♠Soul♠

[indigoasis]

I can definitely sympathize with that. As I've been getting older, I also feel weird considering myself as a "man" because I sure as hell don't feel like I'm old enough to call myself that, nor do I think I have the kind of presence or establishment that someone calling themselves a man might have. However, I feel just fine calling myself a young man, if that counts for anything, but then again, I don't really consider myself to be any kind of specific title in particular.

Even so, you're still a person before you're whatever sex or gender or title you go along with, so whatever expectations that you have of being a "man," I wouldn't worry too much about it.

[♠Soul♠]

1 hour ago, indigoasis said:

I can definitely sympathize with that. As I've been getting older, I also feel weird considering myself as a "man" because I sure as hell don't feel like I'm old enough to call myself that, nor do I think I have the kind of presence or establishment that someone calling themselves a man might have. However, I feel just fine calling myself a young man, if that counts for anything, but then again, I don't really consider myself to be any kind of specific title in particular.

Even so, you're still a person before you're whatever sex or gender or title you go along with, so whatever expectations that you have of being a "man," I wouldn't worry too much about it.

wow you actually do get it. Yeah, you're at least halfway there.

And another thing, I feel like people misunderstand what it is to really be an adult (not just a man). Like, some people seem to think it's about being serious all the time and always taking things seriously, and that's what I meant when I said people understand maturity too linearly... we're not all this one fixed personality type and that's it, there's aspects to personality and aspects to maturity. There are people that have immature aspects or insecurities, but that doesn't mean you're automatically "immature" for it.

And when I think the word "man", I think of all these lame things that make a boring and colourless, lifeless adult and part of a rigorous society.

Edited November 16, 2022 by ♠Soul♠

[Original Alear]

There's this series by Gene Wolfe called the Wizard Knight series. In it, the main character as a young boy from our world ends up in a fantasy world. Some time after getting there, he is fast forward aged into a mature adult. At times, when he meets other men, he tries to explain that he is essentially a boy stuck in a man's body, that he didn't get a chance to grow up or experience what it means to age naturally.

The thing is, the men he tells this to never quite manage to comprehend that he literally advanced over a very short period of time into the body he's currently inhabiting, so they all say sorta like "yeah, yeah, me too, I know exactly what you mean, I still feel like I'm a boy in a man's body myself, I think many or all men are like that."

That author is the guy who wrote the book Severian is from.

Personally, the only thing I've found is that as I age, sin is less effective. I used to feel happy when I ate too much, now I get indigestion. Maybe I'm in hell. But adult life is definitely not boring. Actually, it was life as a younger person that was boring a lot of the time. I didn't notice as much scarring back then, like I do now. And also, what I do on my own break time to try and reflect on things is a lot more effective and beautiful. I found FFIX so boring as a kid, but now I like it a lot, and I almost cried when the black mage dolls died defending the airship and the party.

However, I am very stupid.

Also, there were really boring things when I was a kid too that I was forced to do. Like, I was on swim team and we had to practice at the pool at 5:30 AM. Ugh. I bet that when I really go to hell they'll make me join swim team again. They won't even need to lava-fy the pool to make me hate it. I had tons of unwanted responsibilities when I was a kid, and I remember in college everyone told me I had a stone face, so I was probably way too serious by then.

[Roxas]

man we're old lmao

[♠Soul♠]

2 hours ago, Original Johan Liebert said:

There's this series by Gene Wolfe called the Wizard Knight series. In it, the main character as a young boy from our world ends up in a fantasy world. Some time after getting there, he is fast forward aged into a mature adult. At times, when he meets other men, he tries to explain that he is essentially a boy stuck in a man's body, that he didn't get a chance to grow up or experience what it means to age naturally.

The thing is, the men he tells this to never quite manage to comprehend that he literally advanced over a very short period of time into the body he's currently inhabiting, so they all say sorta like "yeah, yeah, me too, I know exactly what you mean, I still feel like I'm a boy in a man's body myself, I think many or all men are like that."

This is awesome.

2 hours ago, Original Johan Liebert said:

That author is the guy who wrote the book Severian is from.

But you're SeverIan. :D

2 hours ago, Original Johan Liebert said:

Personally, the only thing I've found is that as I age, sin is less effective. I used to feel happy when I ate too much, now I get indigestion. Maybe I'm in hell.

I think I relate to that. I used to fucking cry when I woke up at like 11 a.m, because "my day went by" on a fucking Saturday or something, and I never realised that was just my conditioning up at that point. Nowadays I wake up at 4 5 pm and I feel pretty happy, like I still have the night (which is way cooler).

2 hours ago, Original Johan Liebert said:

But adult life is definitely not boring. Actually, it was life as a younger person that was boring a lot of the time. I didn't notice as much scarring back then, like I do now. And also, what I do on my own break time to try and reflect on things is a lot more effective and beautiful.

 

2 hours ago, Original Johan Liebert said:

I found FFIX so boring as a kid, but now I like it a lot, and I almost cried when the black mage dolls died defending the airship and the party.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

How do I get to know more about these "black mage dolls".

2 hours ago, Original Johan Liebert said:

However, I am very stupid.

Also, there were really boring things when I was a kid too that I was forced to do. Like, I was on swim team and we had to practice at the pool at 5:30 AM. Ugh. I bet that when I really go to hell they'll make me join swim team again. They won't even need to lava-fy the pool to make me hate it. I had tons of unwanted responsibilities when I was a kid, and I remember in college everyone told me I had a stone face, so I was probably way too serious by then.

I also think people idolize their childhood too much. I certainly have happy memories from years ago, but I also don't think I'd prefer to have all these obligations and responsibilities (why do people ignore these? They always existed). I agree with you, because I was also forced to do things I didn't want to, and taken to places I wouldn't feel like. Adult life gives you a certain freedom, even if it's not yet perfect (i.e having enough money and other things).

2 hours ago, Roxas said:

man we're old lmao

You're old, you little chinese.

[Original Alear]

31 minutes ago, ♠Soul♠ said:

You're old, you little chinese.

WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I don't know why I'm freaking out so much, it's not like you actually used a slur I guess.

Edited November 17, 2022 by Original Johan Liebert

[♠Soul♠]

49 minutes ago, Original Johan Liebert said:

WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I don't know why I'm freaking out so much, it's not like you actually used a slur I guess.

And yet, you refuse to tell me of these "black mage dolls" any further.

You silly, dumb baby face avatar.

[Original Alear]

24 minutes ago, ♠Soul♠ said:

And yet, you refuse to tell me of these "black mage dolls" any further.

You silly, dumb baby face avatar.

I actually have a doll of Vivi. Him and a dragon quest slime. I'd take a picture, but I can't find Vivi right now. The biggest missing element is that his hat isn't as frayed and stitched as the FFIX one is.

I bought a FE4 figure that turned out to be Levin when I was in Japan, but it broke right away.

[Jotari]

I certainly don't feel like the word man is ill-suited to me, but I feel incredibly awkward when people call me "Sir". I'm not a sir. That's like a medieval knight or some kind of rich dude who plays golf. You probably make more money than me random wait staff! The sole exception, for whatever racial subconscious bias or innate melodic quality, is if I'm called "Sir" by someone in an Indian accent. Then it feels completely natural and right. 

Edited November 17, 2022 by Jotari

[indigoasis]

13 hours ago, Jotari said:

I certainly don't feel like the word man is ill-suited to me, but I feel incredibly awkward when people call me "Sir". I'm not a sir. That's like a medieval knight or some kind of rich dude who plays golf. You probably make more money than me random wait staff! The sole exception, for whatever racial subconscious bias or innate melodic quality, is if I'm called "Sir" by someone in an Indian accent. Then it feels completely natural and right. 

Sir Jotari, your manliness is showing.

"Sir" is definitely another weird one. I've been called sir a good handful of times, and it's always so weird because I wouldn't expect someone to call a 21 year old "Sir" (which sometimes comes from people my own age). I might say "Excuse me, Sir/Ma'am" to someone that I can visually identify as older than me, but I generally drop the "sir/ma'am" part with people that look like they'd be around my age.

I dunno, I don't think I've ever really been the most comfortable with formalities like that.

[XRay]

I like to use "grown ass man" as an insult, like, "That grown ass man does not even know what his own car is." or "You a grown ass man with arms and legs and a head on your shoulder, and you asking me for dough?" or "Grown ass men should not have so little masculinity that they are afraid of buying tampons for their partner." and stuff along those lines.

I found "sir" to be kind of hot. And since I am getting older, I have found "daddy" to be kind of cute too, even though I am not a real dad, unless you count my three fur babies.