i hate getting ready i have to get my face wet and then wash it which gets my hair wet and the counter too and then i need to brush my teeth which is ok but then comes the REALLY awful shit which is putting my contacts in. i either get those fuckers in on the first try or i spend 30 minutes on just the right contact after it falls to the floor multiple times. after that i need to put concealer all over my eyebags but of fucking course i forget to use my moisturizer on my face first 60% of the time so it doesnt look so good. then i need to curl my eyelashes, each side 30 seconds and combine my two types of mascara and wipe off the fucking clumps then getting black shit all over my hands and having to wash it off because of that. if thats not enough i have to notice every single eyebrow hair thats off and spend 10 minutes trying to decide whether i should pluck it or not then end up being so obsessive about them that i have to get my eyeshadow and fucking paint in tiny parts of my eyebrows that dont satisfy me. at this point its outfit time and im prob late AF to class and i have to make sure its not an outfit ive ever worn before (because i am absolutely one of those people), lately ive been figuring out an outfit the day before to save time tho. last is the hair, thank god i cut 16 inches of my hair off and its only chin length now so i dont need to bother with that as much as i used to. but guess wat my dumb ass does, if there is literally a single strand of hair that isnt right to me i get so emo and i have to plug in my curler and make corrections + gel single strands strategically so they dont show and bug me for the rest of the day. I DO THIS EVERY SINGLE DAY AND I get so mad just THINKING about it. its gonna be even worse in the future bc im starting to get into actual makeup and ill prob beat my face lke crazy when the time comes.
in some sick twisted way i kind of enjoy all this while hating it, i guess because the end result is me looking really good and meeting my standards in something. i cant understand people who go out sloppy wearing sweatpants or som shit, like i wore sweatpants even with my full routine once and i literally wanted to kill myself, i felt like a sloppy piece of shit even tho i wasnt but it really had bad effects on me the entire day (mentally). its just nice to do ur very best in everything imo...so i guess its a healthy mindset to have as i apply that same thing to academics, etc.
it feels good typing all that out : )