Jump to content
Nym

Serene Determination Feedback Thread

Recommended Posts

This is the feedback thread for Serene Determination!

If you have any comments if you find any grammar mistakes, please write them here  :D

For the story :  https://serenesforest.net/forums/index.php?/topic/78904-serene-determination/

EDIT: Dragoncat suggested that I put a list of which members are in the story. So for what we got so far.

Nym = Me of course

Chloey = @TheSilentChloey

Rezzy = @Rezzy

Wolf: @Papa Wolf

Rex = @Rex Glacies

Clarina = She is based of the member Clarine but I did not ask permission to her directly and as such, she will stay a reference only.

Arcanite: @Arcanite

Kimberly: @Anime27Arts

Other characters may have reference in their names only.

 

Edited by Nym

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Forgot to write that the first chapter is now available.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 16/11/2017 at 12:29 PM, Sigismund of Luxemburg said:

Good work so far. Who else do you plan to include?

That will be surprise but usually I ask a person who I think will have potiential.

Except foe some special case like Clarina based of Clarine since Clarine already exist.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Nym; sorry for being a bit late here, but I am curious about a few things before I begin reading the story. My main question is what relationship does this story have with "Skills"? I see that a few characters are the same between the stories (and in Serenesforest), so are they completely unrelated or is this story sort of a sequel to "Skills"? In other words, should I finish "Skills" before reading this one?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
43 minutes ago, Rex Glacies said:

Hi Nym; sorry for being a bit late here, but I am curious about a few things before I begin reading the story. My main question is what relationship does this story have with "Skills"? I see that a few characters are the same between the stories (and in Serenesforest), so are they completely unrelated or is this story sort of a sequel to "Skills"? In other words, should I finish "Skills" before reading this one?

They are completely unrelated whatsoever, only a few characters have the same name because well... they are based on us.

No, you are not forced to finish ''Skills'' at all. You can read the story as you wish.

Edited by Nym

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 minutes ago, Nym said:

They are completely unrelated whatsoever, only a few characters have the same name because well... they are based on us.

No, you are not forced to finish ''Skills'' at all. You can read the story as you wish.

Alrighty, thank you. I guess I can jump into this one at any time!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Rex Glacies said:

Alrighty, thank you. I guess I can jump into this one at any time!

Yup! Have fun ^__^

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 07/12/2017 at 5:16 AM, TheSilentChloey said:

I guess I'll just wait until the next chapter :XD:

I am enjoying this little tale btw.

It's on his way :D, 80% complete

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Pacing a bit off as well as Nym utterly destroying fully trained knights 1V1 but throwaway enemies are to be expected at the start of a story.

Otherwise good‚  lookin forward to next chapter

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Pengaius said:

Pacing a bit off as well as Nym utterly destroying fully trained knights 1V1 but throwaway enemies are to be expected at the start of a story.

Otherwise good‚  lookin forward to next chapter

To be fair, aside of the captain that guarded the door before the prisonners, Lenox and the unamed guards before him were part those lazy nobles that Klevik mentionned.

Perhaps I should go on better details for the next chapter as why they are ''lazy''. But I won't throw that excuse all the time, nobles aren't that numberous anyway :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

After a long break, I made another chapter. Sorry for the long wait.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I got to the part where Nym is going to be made into a knight, looks good so far, only I'm wondering if Chloey shouldn't have been so quick to trust Nym and welcome him into their group just for beating up Lord Duran, maybe she should have made sure he was working on noble intentions and not just for glory?

Is Lord Duran based on anybody? Also it might be helpful to have a list of what SF members are included.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
41 minutes ago, Dragoncat said:

I got to the part where Nym is going to be made into a knight, looks good so far, only I'm wondering if Chloey shouldn't have been so quick to trust Nym and welcome him into their group just for beating up Lord Duran, maybe she should have made sure he was working on noble intentions and not just for glory?

You ask a very good question actually because someone WILL point that out to Chloey what you just said in the next chapter.

47 minutes ago, Dragoncat said:

Is Lord Duran based on anybody? Also it might be helpful to have a list of what SF members are included.

No he isn't. I could do that, thanks for the suggestion.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One criticism I have is that the fight scenes seem to not last long enough, but I admit that they are difficult. I just got past the part where they sneak into the prison. Cracked a smile when Rezzy and Chloey tricked Lenox by offering a random hookup lol.

Another thing: I'm not sure what this group's goals are. Overthrow a corrupt government?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Dragoncat said:

One criticism I have is that the fight scenes seem to not last long enough, but I admit that they are difficult.

Umm, I admit I could add a few more lines. Keep in mind however that for now, they try to keep a low profile but you are still right.

1 hour ago, Dragoncat said:

I just got past the part where they sneak into the prison. Cracked a smile when Rezzy and Chloey tricked Lenox by offering a random hookup lol.

I'm glad to hear that!

1 hour ago, Dragoncat said:

Another thing: I'm not sure what this group's goals are. Overthrow a corrupt government?

Not... exactly. The only 'corrupt' part is the nobles' privilege.

They are mostly fighting against the current situation that women are in and against noble privileges.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good, good, the plot thickens.

No complaints here

Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler

I sure hope those weren't poisoned daggers...

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Pengaius said:

Good, good, the plot thickens.

No complaints here

  Hide contents
  Hide contents
  Hide contents

I sure hope those weren't poisoned daggers...

 

 

 

Spoiler

Rezzy is a good doctor ;)

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...