eclipse Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 4 minutes ago, Shoblongoo said: Lol yeah that 5-pointer is insanely overvalued. There's a few things on that list that I disagree with--i.e. 3 years for the third thing on that list but only 2 years for the second thing. It was the best one I could find; feel free to link a better one if you come across it. Time for: STUPID LOOPHOLES EDITION. - There's redundancy in the first three items. Go figure. - Since the nudes on the phone aren't specified to be of a sexual nature, grab a picture of some nude art. - I honestly don't know why I'd want to get laid outdoors, because bugs totally ruin everything. Still, if people can get lost in the wilderness, then it should be possible to find a nice, deserted place to do the dirty, for seven years (outdoors and in public). - Your spouse should theoretically be your friend, so have four years for doing it by the Bible. - Hire a prostitute. Congratulation on adding five to your score (plus five more since you'll probably be in a hotel room). - Having a threesome is less kinky than going to a hotel. You saw it here first! - "Off limits" and "before 18" are not mutually exclusive. - I have heard of the Wiimote being used for. . .adult purposes. Then again, a certain magic wand is advertised as a massage tool, despite what it's actually used for. - What if my fetish is finding loopholes in poorly-made lists, hmmm? In other words, it's possible to hit 13 years without so much as touching another person (find some Greek statues, watch porn, own a Wii, and be turned on by weird stuff). That's just wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Infinite Dreams Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 52 minutes ago, eclipse said: That list made me realize that screwing in a hotel is an automatic 5 years. Which is a stupid loophole. Oh, that's right, haha. I didn't even think of that! 44 minutes ago, Shoblongoo said: There's a few things on that list that I disagree with--i.e. 3 years for the third thing on that list but only 2 years for the second thing. Yes, agreed! I was confused by that myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoblongoo Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 52 minutes ago, eclipse said: a certain magic wand is advertised as a massage tool, despite what it's actually used for. Ahhhh shit; I didn't even think about that. My total takes a -3 if hitachi wands count as "back massagers" (lulz) and not sex toys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excellen Browning Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 you only get points for the magic wand if you used it on yourself in a sexual way if you're a man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DisobeyedCargo Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 9 hours ago, Nym said: I got 2, that's depressing... Don't feel bad I only got 1... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoblongoo Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 (edited) 41 minutes ago, Excellen Browning said: you only get points for the magic wand if you used it on yourself in a sexual way if you're a man. ...well according to the checklist it's +2 for use; +3 for ownership. Ownership of the hitachi is not in question, and completely unrelated violet wand use gets the +2. (I would never actually buy a violet wand kit--that's too over-the-top even for me) Edited March 30, 2018 by Shoblongoo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logjam Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 10 hours ago, Shoblongoo said: If I did my math right, the highest possible score is an 84. Score-to-beat is a [70]. ...Gentlemen... 57/62 depending on how you define sex tape. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoblongoo Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 4 minutes ago, Logjam said: 57/62 depending on how you define sex tape. home videos shot on smartphone count as sex tapes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excellen Browning Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 (edited) 2 hours ago, eclipse said: - I have heard of the Wiimote being used for. . .adult purposes. How about other controllers? Would the PS3 controller work? edit: Just did a quick search and there's no Wiimote videos but there is one with a PlayStation controller! Edited March 30, 2018 by Excellen Browning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rezzy Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 It seems off-limits is pretty vague. In a legal sense, or like your friend's ex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SullyMcGully Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 WHERE DID ALL OF THESE GIRLS COME FROM??? Ladies, please! Keep your minds pure of this male insanity! Men truly are pigs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rezzy Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 53 minutes ago, SullyMcGully said: WHERE DID ALL OF THESE GIRLS COME FROM??? Ladies, please! Keep your minds pure of this male insanity! Men truly are pigs... I thought you said they were cows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NinjaMonkey Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 12 hours ago, Shoblongoo said: If I did my math right, the highest possible score is an 84. Score-to-beat is a [70]. ...Gentlemen... I scored a 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoblongoo Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 4 hours ago, Excellen Browning said: How about other controllers? Would the PS3 controller work? edit: Just did a quick search and there's no Wiimote videos but there is one with a PlayStation controller! I've seen GameCube controllers put to adult use. You can use anything that vibrates. 3 hours ago, Rezzy said: It seems off-limits is pretty vague. In a legal sense, or like your friend's ex? ...That's one of the 4 things on the checklist I've never done (and never had any intention of trying). "Off-limits" is generally understood as having sex with someone else's wife or girlfriend or boyfriend or husband. 3 hours ago, SullyMcGully said: WHERE DID ALL OF THESE GIRLS COME FROM??? Ladies, please! Keep your minds pure of this male insanity! Men truly are pigs... These ladies could teach you a thing or two, farmboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SullyMcGully Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 1 minute ago, Shoblongoo said: These ladies could teach you a thing or two, farmboy I feel like I already know too much. I'm a professional on lactation and insemination because that is what my job entails. I know more about udder health than most women. And it kinda bothers me, TBH. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rezzy Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 26 minutes ago, SullyMcGully said: I feel like I already know too much. I'm a professional on lactation and insemination because that is what my job entails. I know more about udder health than most women. And it kinda bothers me, TBH. I probably know more, if that helps. 30 minutes ago, Shoblongoo said: I've seen GameCube controllers put to adult use. You can use anything that vibrates. ...That's one of the 4 things on the checklist I've never done (and never had any intention of trying). "Off-limits" is generally understood as having sex with someone else's wife or girlfriend or boyfriend or husband. Now I want to know the other 3. And is in a car considered outdoors/in public? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SullyMcGully Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 3 minutes ago, Rezzy said: I probably know more, if that helps. Yeah, but you're a doctor! I mean, if I used cow remedies on human ailments things might not work out so well. Those bovine drugs are pretty strong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johann Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 Man this thread nosedived pretty hard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NinjaMonkey Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 38 minutes ago, Johann said: Man this thread nosedived pretty hard You expected anything different? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 7 hours ago, SullyMcGully said: WHERE DID ALL OF THESE GIRLS COME FROM??? Ladies, please! Keep your minds pure of this male insanity! Men truly are pigs... Pfft. It takes two to tango, and the better I understand my man, the better bed stuff will be! 4 hours ago, Shoblongoo said: ...That's one of the 4 things on the checklist I've never done (and never had any intention of trying). "Off-limits" is generally understood as having sex with someone else's wife or girlfriend or boyfriend or husband. You're a lawyer. There's other meanings to "off-limits". But it comes with jail time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excellen Browning Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 if men are pigs, what are women? Cows? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 11 minutes ago, Excellen Browning said: if men are pigs, what are women? Cows? Bacon enthusiasts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rezzy Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 58 minutes ago, Excellen Browning said: if men are pigs, what are women? Cows? I think Sow is the technical term. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SullyMcGully Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 3 minutes ago, Rezzy said: I think Sow is the technical term. Actually, "sow" only applies to female pigs that have had piglets. Like "cow" only applies to a cow that has calved twice. However, I don't know what the pig equivalent of "heifer" is. So... the ladies have pretty much hijacked this thread. For interesting reasons. I thought men were supposed to be obsessed with sex! But here I am, I don't really care, and all of these women are going crazy over... "bed stuff". Anyway, here's a nice generally male-specific topic of conversation! What's your preferred company for yard equipment? For instance, I like Shindaiwa weed-eaters, Stihl chainsaws, and John Deere for tractors/other implements. Also, what's the oldest vehicle you've seen/owned? There's a 1967 John Deere 1020 in the barn right now... 50 years and it still runs better than most of our substantially newer tractors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Karnage Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 look on the bright side guys, they may be calling us names but how often do you see a line at the men's room, how bout dem apples, smh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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