Men of Serenes Forest!

[Shoblongoo]

26 minutes ago, SullyMcGully said:

 do you think a happy, fulfilling, long-lasting romantic relationship can exist without sex/other physical contact. 

Yes.

 

26 minutes ago, SullyMcGully said:

 Would it be possible for you?

No. I personally would not be romantically compatible with a girl who does not have a robust sex drive, and does not consider physical intimacy to be an important part of a romantic relationship. 

Edited April 3, 2018 by Shoblongoo

[Excellen Browning]

1 hour ago, SullyMcGully said:

OK, so here's a question you guys might enjoy answering: the majority of men seem to pursue romantic relationships for the sex. How well do you think you could survive a virtual relationship with no IRL, physical aspect?

no. From what I've seen men (and women) pursue relationships for a variety of reasons, but the guy gets sex, girl gets relationship is a meme. Or rather a stereotype. 

As for myself, no. Romantic relationships and sex are inherently linked to me. As in, I can't have sex with/enjoy having sex with someone I'm not romantically involved with, even if it's just one night. And not having sex or a large difference in sex drive would be (and is actually) a major frustration and reason to break up.

oh and I'm gonna be blunt to you too; are you autistic?

[Rezzy]

1 hour ago, SullyMcGully said:

OK, so here's a question you guys might enjoy answering: the majority of men seem to pursue romantic relationships for the sex. How well do you think you could survive a virtual relationship with no IRL, physical aspect?

I had been in a long-distance relationship that lasted several years, (and still going strong, but no longer long distance.)  Even if it wasn't a matter of sex, I don't think I'd be able to be in a relationship knowing that physical contact could never happen.  Even if it's not going all out, sometimes, you just want to cuddle and feel loved.

 

And don't think you're weird just because you're unsure about sex.  If you've never really been put in a situation and/or have self control, you can't really know how you'll react.  I was a virgin until college, mostly because I never really put myself in a position where things could get that far, and wasn't really sure if I liked guys anyway.  There's nothing wrong with wanting to wait until you're married either.  For quite a time, that's what I was planning to do, but then stuff happened.

[SullyMcGully]

10 hours ago, Excellen Browning said:

oh and I'm gonna be blunt to you too; are you autistic?

If I am, it's not serious enough for me to notice. I'm below autistic. I'm homeschooled.

Might I ask what gives you the impression that I'm autistic?

[Shoblongoo]

11 minutes ago, SullyMcGully said:

If I am, it's not serious enough for me to notice. I'm below autistic. I'm homeschooled.

Might I ask what gives you the impression that I'm autistic?

Just out of curiousity--how much traveling have you done outside of your homeschooled farm town in rural Virginia?

Like how much exposure have you had to other communities and other cultures and other walks of life, or is that literally the only thing you've ever known?

Edited April 3, 2018 by Shoblongoo

[SullyMcGully]

1 hour ago, Shoblongoo said:

Just out of curiousity--how much traveling have you done outside of your little homeschooled farm town in rural Virginia?

Like how much exposure have you had to other communities and other cultures and other walks of life, or is that literally the only thing you've ever known?

My exposure to the rest of the world is almost entirely through the Internet. Additionally, I like to separate from my family and meet people any time we go to a resort or cruise on vacation.

[Shoblongoo]

1 minute ago, SullyMcGully said:

My exposure to the rest of the world is almost entirely through the Internet.

...well that explains a lot...

You're young. Maybe one day you'll get out of dodge and get some--new perspectives.
 

[Excellen Browning]

2 hours ago, SullyMcGully said:

If I am, it's not serious enough for me to notice. I'm below autistic. I'm homeschooled.

Might I ask what gives you the impression that I'm autistic?

You can't be below autistic. If you are autistic, and I'm betting you are, you're just that. Autistic. In a lot of ways something that defines what and how you think, how you react to certain situations and stimuli, how you (want to) communicate with others, and what you like and dislike.

as for the reasons why:

- your saying International Observer is speaking your language is a pretty strong indicator. The fact that the evidence-based, rational and clearly defined (and in a sense, the impersonal) works for you is a strong autism signal. Or rather, it fits the autism narrative rather well.

- your problems with sexuality, intimacy and attraction fit well into the autism narrative. This one is more derivative, but these problems seem to partially caused by several extremely strong sensitivities and by a lack of body awareness in other ways (like loving their face, being obsessed with everything girls do, being grossed out by their bodies(which can very well be due to it causing such a strong reaction you can't deal with it)). And yes, these are not mutually exclusive. I myself per example am extremely sensitive to being touched, to the point of freezing up due to the scare it gives me, and at the same time I have (had) trouble with being aware of my emotions, whether I'm eating and drinking too much or not enough, etc.

- your repeated adherence to stereotypes and taking things at face value, and testing them by bluntly asking about them fits in well with autism.

[Rezzy]

3 minutes ago, Excellen Browning said:

You can't be below autistic. If you are autistic, and I'm betting you are, you're just that. Autistic. In a lot of ways something that defines what and how you think, how you react to certain situations and stimuli, how you (want to) communicate with others, and what you like and dislike.

as for the reasons why:

- your saying International Observer is speaking your language is a pretty strong indicator. The fact that the evidence-based, rational and clearly defined (and in a sense, the impersonal) works for you is a strong autism signal. Or rather, it fits the autism narrative rather well.

- your problems with sexuality, intimacy and attraction fit well into the autism narrative. This one is more derivative, but these problems seem to partially caused by several extremely strong sensitivities and by a lack of body awareness in other ways (like loving their face, being obsessed with everything girls do, being grossed out by their bodies(which can very well be due to it causing such a strong reaction you can't deal with it)). And yes, these are not mutually exclusive. I myself per example am extremely sensitive to being touched, to the point of freezing up due to the scare it gives me, and at the same time I have (had) trouble with being aware of my emotions, whether I'm eating and drinking too much or not enough, etc.

- your repeated adherence to stereotypes and taking things at face value, and testing them by bluntly asking about them fits in well with autism.

I think you're overthinking it a bit.  Sully is a bit sheltered, which can explain his worldview more than diagnosing him as autistic.

I grew up in rural Illinois, and it's not uncommon to think this way.

[Tryhard]

48 minutes ago, Excellen Browning said:

You can't be below autistic. If you are autistic, and I'm betting you are, you're just that. Autistic. In a lot of ways something that defines what and how you think, how you react to certain situations and stimuli, how you (want to) communicate with others, and what you like and dislike.

as for the reasons why:

- your saying International Observer is speaking your language is a pretty strong indicator. The fact that the evidence-based, rational and clearly defined (and in a sense, the impersonal) works for you is a strong autism signal. Or rather, it fits the autism narrative rather well.

- your problems with sexuality, intimacy and attraction fit well into the autism narrative. This one is more derivative, but these problems seem to partially caused by several extremely strong sensitivities and by a lack of body awareness in other ways (like loving their face, being obsessed with everything girls do, being grossed out by their bodies(which can very well be due to it causing such a strong reaction you can't deal with it)). And yes, these are not mutually exclusive. I myself per example am extremely sensitive to being touched, to the point of freezing up due to the scare it gives me, and at the same time I have (had) trouble with being aware of my emotions, whether I'm eating and drinking too much or not enough, etc.

- your repeated adherence to stereotypes and taking things at face value, and testing them by bluntly asking about them fits in well with autism.

stop being a faggot

[Johann]

5 minutes ago, Tryhard said:

stop being a faggot

Come on man, this thread has enough garbage in it already. Don't go bringing it down even further.

This thread, and more importantly, the entire forum, should be a place where people aren't judging or shaming or otherwise making each other feel like they're a lesser person. If you guys are gonna be shits to each other, this thread is gonna get locked, and you'll have not learned a damn thing. This is a chance for everybody to ask real questions and talk about real problems and challenges and shit. Empathy and solidarity, my brothers

Being a man doesn't mean being the opposite of a woman (cuz men and women aren't in opposition), it means being better than yourself as a child.

[Interdimensional Observer]

5 hours ago, Selina said:

My exposure to the rest of the world is almost entirely through the Internet. Additionally, I like to separate from my family and meet people any time we go to a resort or cruise on vacation.

Interesting. Being on the eastern seaboard and northern Virginia being sometimes called the "southernmost Northern state", and given the Civil War breakaway of West Virginia taking out most if not all of the mountainous western regions of the state, I'm a little surprised to see there was any thing of this kind left in it. Not that it is a bad thing at all, just different.

 

On the topic of autism, this and this. And oh yeah this too. Not that I watched the last, I sort of don't want to deal with seeing others of my kind dealing in romance, it's a little off for me. Autistic people might be able to sympathize with each other, but at the same time, I guess we by virtue of our lack of social skills can be a bit difficult dealing with each other. But that could just be me (but I get along perfectly well with the fellow Asperger people here). Autistic people of the world unite!.... Just keep some space from me.

Make this thread a positive and enlightening place.

I don't want this thread to be locked.

Edited April 3, 2018 by Interdimensional Observer

[Shoblongoo]

I'm going to kindly request that if there are people who are fucking the thread up, @eclipse issue warnings and disciplinary sanctions to the appropriate bad actors instead of locking the entire thread. 

[SullyMcGully]

2 minutes ago, Shoblongoo said:

I'm going to kindly request that if there are people who are fucking the thread up, @eclipse issue warnings and disciplinary sanctions to the appropriate bad actors instead of locking the entire thread. 

Bro! I just got warned!

Happy (albeit belated) April Fools!

[Shoblongoo]

Just now, Selina said:

Bro! I just got warned!

Happy (albeit belated) April Fools!

...the fuck happened to your profile??? 

You're a chick now?

[SullyMcGully]

1 minute ago, Shoblongoo said:

...the fuck happened to your profile??? 

You're a chick now?

Am I?

[Excellen Browning]

2 hours ago, Rezzy said:

I think you're overthinking it a bit.  Sully is a bit sheltered, which can explain his worldview more than diagnosing him as autistic.

I grew up in rural Illinois, and it's not uncommon to think this way.

to be frank and blunt, unless you're now going to tell me that A)you are autistic B)one of your kids is autistic C)your husband is autistic D)you have been trained to diagnose autism E)you've read a fuckton about it for whatever other reason, chances are slim to none that your opinion on this matters in any way. You're just an outsider making a comment on something you only know superficially.

and for the record, the worldview thing was not the thing you should have taken away from my post.

[Shoblongoo]

5 minutes ago, Selina said:

Am I?

*skims undisclosed thread*

...oh....

I see what you did there.

 

6 minutes ago, Excellen Browning said:

 unless you have been trained to diagnose autism, chances are slim to none that your opinion on this matters in any way. You're just an outsider making a comment on something you only know superficially.

[SullyMcGully]

2 hours ago, Excellen Browning said:

You can't be below autistic. If you are autistic, and I'm betting you are, you're just that. Autistic. In a lot of ways something that defines what and how you think, how you react to certain situations and stimuli, how you (want to) communicate with others, and what you like and dislike.

as for the reasons why:

- your saying International Observer is speaking your language is a pretty strong indicator. The fact that the evidence-based, rational and clearly defined (and in a sense, the impersonal) works for you is a strong autism signal. Or rather, it fits the autism narrative rather well.

- your problems with sexuality, intimacy and attraction fit well into the autism narrative. This one is more derivative, but these problems seem to partially caused by several extremely strong sensitivities and by a lack of body awareness in other ways (like loving their face, being obsessed with everything girls do, being grossed out by their bodies(which can very well be due to it causing such a strong reaction you can't deal with it)). And yes, these are not mutually exclusive. I myself per example am extremely sensitive to being touched, to the point of freezing up due to the scare it gives me, and at the same time I have (had) trouble with being aware of my emotions, whether I'm eating and drinking too much or not enough, etc.

- your repeated adherence to stereotypes and taking things at face value, and testing them by bluntly asking about them fits in well with autism.

OK, I feel like I need to respond to this, but this is not Serious Discussion. Can we just... chill?

[SullyMcGully]

@Shoblongoo Selina is an inside joke from a few months ago when I convinced all of my friends that I was actually a 16-year-old lesbian girl who hid her true gender online in order to hit on girls. It was a good prank... I'd recommend it to anyone else on the Internet who wanted to mess with their friends.

[Charmeleonbrah]

On 4/1/2018 at 8:11 PM, Interdimensional Observer said:

Though yeah, I'm not someone who normally has physical contact with others, I'm not a germaphobe or an obsessively no-touch person, but I do like an empty seat between me and a stranger in public location. 

Thus, I stick to people who aren't real if I have the need to relieve some lust, it's safer that way, since I know the difference between reality and pure fantasy and won't act towards the real as I do the artificial. Reason to fawn over pixels instead of real flesh.

Ahh, it all makes sense now.

By the way, I like your trolling.  You put quite a bit of effort into it.

I updated my avatar in everyone's honor.  Hope you enjoy it!

Edited April 3, 2018 by Charmeleonbrah

[Shoblongoo]

@SullyMcGully no bullshit; from one man to another. Man-to-man advice here. 

Get your secondary education somewhere far away from home.

Become friends with people who don't come from your background or social class.

Hang out with people whose lifestyles are very different than yours.

That is how you see the world. That is how you grow. 

Edited April 3, 2018 by Shoblongoo

[Rezzy]

3 hours ago, Excellen Browning said:

to be frank and blunt, unless you're now going to tell me that A)you are autistic B)one of your kids is autistic C)your husband is autistic D)you have been trained to diagnose autism E)you've read a fuckton about it for whatever other reason, chances are slim to none that your opinion on this matters in any way. You're just an outsider making a comment on something you only know superficially.

and for the record, the worldview thing was not the thing you should have taken away from my post.

A: No

B: I don't want to go into that right now; maybe I'll post in the parenting thread when I'm up to it, but it's not relevant here.

C: I will neither confirm nor deny any diagnoses he may or may not have, and it is up to him what he wants to share.

D: I'm not a psychiatrist or neurologist, but I have years of experience dealing with the instituationalized, which includes many autistic people who cannot live on their own.

E: Yes, I had to read about all things medical to earn my degree which includes neurology and psychiatry, and I've done a neurology rotation in a clinical setting.

I'm not a published expert in the field, but I know more than the average lay person.  I'm going to drop this, because I don't want to wander into territory that might be construed as medical advice.

3 hours ago, SullyMcGully said:

OK, I feel like I need to respond to this, but this is not Serious Discussion. Can we just... chill?

Yes, let's let Sully be a kid and not try to diagnose him over the internet without proper resources and examination.

3 minutes ago, Shoblongoo said:

@SullyMcGully no bullshit; from one man to another. Man-to-man advice here. 

Get your secondary education somewhere far away from home.

Become friends with people who don't come from your background or social class.

Hang out with people whose lifestyles are very different than yours.

That is how you see the world. That is how you grow. 

To add on this, once you get out a bit, you'll see lots of different perspectives on life.  Don't feel you need to change, but don't be afraid to either.  If you ever want general life advice, feel free to send me a PM.  Late teens and early twenties can be a rough ride for anyone.

[SullyMcGully]

Thanks for the advice, @Shoblongoo and @Rezzy. It's good advice, but... I'm in no position right now to go against my parent's wishes without serious financial and emotional consequences down the road. That's why it's so important to me to socialize online: even if I'm not getting a good sample of "normal" people, I'm getting to know different people from different backgrounds. That's why I insist on hanging with a crowd that doesn't really click with me mentally a lot of the time. Just being honest: ya'll are all pretty weird to me, and I'm probably pretty strange to all of you. But getting to know you all a little better and find out what drives you has been an educational experience for me, as well as a real pleasure. So thanks for bearing with me!

[Interdimensional Observer]

18 minutes ago, Rezzy said:

Yes, let's let Sully be a kid and not try to diagnose him over the internet without proper resources and examination.

How dare you insult the living breathing Holy Godly Transcendent Medical Scripture of the Internet that is WebMD!

But yes, that is a bad idea, one that could summon a mod and their unbreakable shackles. Nobody wants a headline that goes "Young Adult Dies Due to Medical Diagnosis and Advice from Internet". 

 

2 hours ago, Charmeleonbrah said:

By the way, I like your trolling.  You put quite a bit of effort into it.

Trolling? Assuming it must always be by definition, malicious, I have never intentionally trolled. I have posted plenty of walls of text and sometimes random info and have joked, but never maliciously entertained myself by posting incendiary things. There are seas of websites that shall be left unnamed for that.

 

3 hours ago, Charmeleonbrah said:

I updated my avatar in everyone's honor.  Hope you enjoy it!

Given the avatar is only the size of a postage stamp, it is a little hard to read, but I see it- "Please be patient I have autism", nice.