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Hawkwing

Take a Scene Out of Context and then Describe it Poorly

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Exactly as the title says, take a scene out of context in a movie, videogame, anime, web-video, or book, and then poorly describe what happens. Then put the title of the actual movie, anime, videogame, etc. in a spoiler. Feel free to link the original scene if you want.

THE ONLY RULE I would like to lay down is if the video features swearing, blood, gore, and/or sexual content, PLEASE provide a WARNING!

 

To provide some examples:

After a practice spar, two friends describe their lack of success in gaining allies to prevent a coup. Desperate, the first friend deicides to cast a powerful illusion spell on a village in hopes to dissuade the dissidents from enacting their plot. As he goes to do this, however, he is attacked by ninjas wearing animal masks and a man with one eye and one arm. The man tells this friend that the spell will only work once, and that the coup will continue on regardless. A fight ensues, with the friend loosing his eye, and both sides retreating. The friend who lost his eye meets with his other friend, who tells him that his eyes are the only way to cast said illusion spell. He then nonchalantly rips out his other eye, gives it to his friend for safekeeping, and... dies of blood loss, I guess (it's really unclear). The other friend then turns evil.

What I'm actually talking about:

Spoiler

From Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm Revolution. For the record, I've never seen the anime, so I can't really comment much more about it.

A ninja decides to fight a fox alone, although he accepts advice from a rapper. A boss battle ensues, the ninja converses with his deceased mother, and the fox wonders why there was a 6 minute cutscene in the middle of their fight.

What actually happened:

Spoiler

From Naruoto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 3. Like the above, I've never seen the anime or played the game.

After the party suffers the bag of kidnapping trope, the rouge tries to tell their kidnapers that they have a contagious disease. Strangely, an argument about cooking ensues instead.

With (only slightly) better context:

Spoiler

From The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

A pair of friends decide to spend the day watching a play. To their horror, they realize that the play is a comedy about terrorists who share their likeness.

The Actual Scene:

Spoiler

From Avatar: The Last Airbender: The Emblem Island Players

 

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Guest Dreamyboi

Blue-haired basic bitch shows reptillian foster child a glass ball that tells him grumpy santa is a goopy boi.

Spoiler

Fire Emblem Fates

 

Edited by Dreamyboi

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2 minutes ago, Dreamyboi said:

Blue-haired basic bitch shows reptillian foster child a glass ball that tells him grumpy santa is a gooby boi.

  Hide contents

Fire Emblem Fates

 

Too true.

Ok, so a living god tries to remove a parasite and the host just doesn't want to let it go. The parasite punches the host and kills himself.

  Hide contents

 

 

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Gopnik comes to America to fight Capitalist scum with glorious Kalishnikovs.

Spoiler

Grant Theft Auto 4

 

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Looking forward to @Interdimensional Observer doing one of these. Anyways, here goes...

A young male attempts to disobey the rules of not leaving the safety of his home town without proper protection. Rather than reprimand the young scoundrel for blatant disregard not only for his own safety but also for the rules his loving mother placed to ensure his survival to the marriageable age so that she could live to see her grandchildren, the town's token Old Guy Who Used To Be Hip Way Back When offers the child his very first pet and promptly sics his grandson on the innocent boy, forcing the two to engage in ritual combat using their new pets as weaponry. Following this, the Old Guy then grants the two youngsters palm pads and requires them to compete for his favor by first engaging in ritual combat using their pets and any other wild animals they happen across and see fit to enslave against other humans also engaging in the same fruitless quest to eventually become the undisputed undefeated master of the world, and then having them inscribe boring details about every single non-human sentient lifeform on the continent into said palm pads for reasons that he refuses to disclose. The two boys, incapable of leaving the Old Guy's home until they comply with his demands, agree, signing oaths in the blood shed by their pets during their previous ritual combat, and set out, defeating other poor chaps in equally violent rounds of more ritual combat and binding their defeated souls to the exact location of their defeat to prevent any foe from becoming stronger and attempting revenge, invading public places of increasing-buffness and binding the souls of all inside to their spots, effectively ruining what little economy there was as people can no longer move even a single step from the location of their defeat and thus can no longer work to support their families, and going head-to-head with the surprisingly inefficient mafia in more ritual combat when any competent gang would have shot them at first sight. Eventually the two boys reach the final round of the ultimate championship, where the young delinquent ruthlessly cuts down his neighbor and friend, following which the Old Guy promptly discards his useless grandson in favor of the more talented young man. Also there's a tower of dead pets.

Congratulations, you now know the plot of Pokemon Red and Blue.

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16 minutes ago, SoulWeaver said:

Looking forward to @Interdimensional Observer doing one of these. Anyways, here goes...

 

This will take some effort, I need to feel it to get things going. Hmm...... 

Be warned, if you are into JRPGs at all, you may not want to read this! Since it is a lot of details, including significant spoilers, and while I tried to be vague, you might see through it if you play the game. My only hint is that it was released in the first decade of the 2000s. Although it may ruin the mystery, if you want to make sure you won't be spoiled by this, go ahead and read the source game's name first, and then decide whether you can/want to read the out of context description.

Hence I'm tossing it in spoilers:

Spoiler

A young individual who talks to themselves a lot trades some rare Magic: The Gathering cards to a woman who looks like grandma after defeating a being with boobs for eyes and love handles for a mouth. The individual is and isn't surprised they did this, and then grandma makes the individual high doubles their whiteness. Speaking to themselves again while high, the individual tells themselves they don't need themselves any longer and says goodbye to them and their friends. The individual then spends the rest of their time stoned until somebody who runs with something stuck up their rear all the time shows them their reflection, which is so painful that it makes them not want to be high anymore and they brutally end their trip and return to being half-white and start talking to themselves again. Then to defeat grandma, the sobered individual goes off into toxic fumes to claim a green stick to kill the spliced Jesus cadaver the grandma hangs out with. The toxic fumes are filled with faces that you'd see while on peyote. The green stick breaks and the individual goes on to get a new metal implant without a high this time after twice killing the son of their gramps they aren't related to and who went from blond and young to white much too soon, and who before the first death stopped the individual from talking to themselves. Grandma and the cadaver then become one inside a snake's heart with a lot of organ donors in it, and the individual rescues grandma now with hair dye from the cadaver. The individual then using the power of talking to themselves defeats a mud monster after losing some altitude and watches somebody liquidate themselves and make it rain, after this they stop talking to themselves.

The individual by the way comes from a nice place that is often covered in smoke and the world is a broken mirror beneath it. On a star that there is something strange about but which you can escape, and which you have to take a dangerous psychedelic trip to reach. After which you reach a nice place where a suspicious man was found  a consuming a glass window. The second nice place is child-friendly but even stranger and has paper that snorts grass that disappears as soon as you'll pulled it up, and between the nice places is an arcade game with a rock in the middle. After the second nice place and before the smoky one is a not so nice place where rare "special" people learn to talk to themselves.

The individual was also carried around for a while in a sort of test tube by grandma's parents and their bigender stretchy toy, who has the four-pointed hots for great grandpa because he talks to himself, but it is really a mutant tapeworm he is talking to. During which they try to kill the geeky great great grandpa and do the bidding of the great great grandpa who is into talking to himself, loves mutant tapeworms, and likes not only not having to pay child support, but getting to use his child for free with their volition after manipulating them to fail as a hitman.

The source? SPOILERS if you read the long poor/out of context description!

Spoiler

The Baten Kaitos games, mostly Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean, but also Origins.

 

I'll see about coming up with more later. That might not be the best I can do.

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A lady with a gun shoots some blue light into the air, which lands on an unconscious lady, who wakes up to see a blond guy staring at her. She slaps him and then sees the rest of his group: the gun lady, a big dorky jock, and a handsome guy with sideburns and one bad arm. The lady who was unconscious apologizes because she apparently hasn't seen men often. The dorky jock gives the blond guy a thumbs up and accuses him of being a player. The lady who was unconscious says the jock is far worse, and he appears shocked and offended.

Spoiler

 

This made me laugh for like 15 minutes the first time I saw it.

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Warning: video contains blood but not too much

The context

Spoiler

In JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Part 4: Diamond is Unbreakable, Josuke (blue-haired guy on the left) finds a person who claims to be an alien that can shape shift into any inanimate object (to this day, people still don't know if he's actually an alien or if he's just a bizarre Stand user and yes, that was intentional). So Josuke decides "hey, why don't you shape shift into a die and then i'll gamble with Rohan (green-haired guy on the right) with a guaranteed win". Rohan starts to figure it out but isn't quite sure yet and eventually, to show Josuke just how serious he is about this, he breaks his ow finger with his pen. Josuke heals this later with his Stand, Crazy Diamond.

That's the gist of it. I don't remember exactly how it goes but it's pretty much that.

 

Edited by Armagon

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Warning: spoilers of Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia.

Description.

Spoiler

Old man with Alzheimer's forgets what he's supposed to be doing and, in order to save himself from the embarrassment, tries to kill his stupid disciple. He laughs a lot and says epic one-liners to look like he knows what he's doing.

After he is defeated, he tries to grab a hand grenade from his weirdly shaped locker, which he calls "LORRACOOLAH" (he's one of those eccentric old millonaires, all right?), but because of his aforementioned Alzheimer's, he forgets how to use it and ends up blowing himself up.

The moral of this story is that old men shouldn't try to fly and punch people 60 years younger than them to death.

Context.

Spoiler

 

 

Edited by Saint Rubenio

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A boi pierces an older woman with his "blade".

Spoiler

FE6 Final Chapter

A burrito and ham have a duel. The burrito shoots the ham and feels remorse and regret afterwards.

Spoiler

Hamilton #45: The World Was Wide Enough

An emo kid throws some cola and fast food into a pit and somehow summons the dead.

Spoiler

Percy Jackson Book 4: The Battle of the Labyrinth; Chapter 5: Nico Buys Happy Meals For The Dead

A man accidentally kills his lover, as he thought that she was an enemy.

Spoiler

Eliwood Kills Ninian

A crazy old math teacher attacks her student during a field trip. The disabled Latin teacher comes to the student's aid. The student kills the teacher using a pen. The very next day, no one remembers that happening or even having the math teacher around. As a result, the student is expelled.

Spoiler

Percy Jackson Book 1: The Lightning Thief; Chapter 1: I Accidentally Vaporize My Pre-Algebra Teacher

A baby manages to kill the leader of a local terrorist organization, at the cost of his parents' lives.

Spoiler

Harry Potter

A dead hobo and a talking sword go on a quest to tie up a doggy.

Spoiler

Magnus Chase Book 1: The Sword of Summer

A pair of twins go on a continent-wide road trip and gather enough guys to kill their best friend.

Spoiler

FE8

A pantsless dude saves his girlfriend's place from being attacked by muggers. Somehow along the line he gets involved in political intrigue and slays a dragon.

Spoiler

Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon

 

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Incompetent ghost army fucks up so badly that Nazi warlords kill god and conquer heaven, but its okay because high school kids fix everything. Titties!

 

 

 


Image result for bleach manga logo

 

 

Edited by Shoblongoo

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Ok. Let's try this.

A man enters another's home uninvited and proceeds to engage his unwilling host in an argument about spirituality and philosophy, eventually resulting in him accusing his host of being a liar and bludgeoning him to death.

Spoiler

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night's infamous "What is a man?" sequence and the ensuing battle with Dracula

A small child finds it's way onto the back of a ravenous carnivore. If the child were to fall off, it would surely meet it's end. However, by sheer luck, the child is taken from the reptile's clutches by a large bird, saving it from becoming a snack

Spoiler

Super Mario World 2, Yoshi's Island

A woman proceeds to flirt with her boyfriend's enemy right in front of him. This is met with confusion on her boyfriend's part.

Spoiler

Caeda recruits Roger

A pubescent boy experiences his first crush on a girl, and after an experiment finds he can shoot white sticky fluid, which he uses combined with tight underwear to get her attention

Spoiler

Sam Raimi version of Spider-man


 

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An ugly man stops two demon main characters from viewing the ending to their game, with the two demons defeating this recurring mid-boss. 

Spoiler

Disgaea 2: Mid-Boss Ending (Obtainable by passing the bill: I Want To See The Ending!

Two lesbians run into the woods, only one dies. 

Spoiler

Nights of Azure 2 opening scenes

An angry hermaphrodite yells at a book for thirty seconds. 

Spoiler

NieR: Gestalt, man that game is fantastic! 

Two boys are in an army camp when a surprise attack is launched, killing all but the two boys. They make a promise and jump off a cliff into the water down below. Also the two boys just so happen to have weird spellings of their names. 

Spoiler

Suikoden 2

Pleasee play Suikoden 2, it's one of the best games of all time. 

 

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A farmboy, a priestess, an amnesiac and a princess (of sorts) fight their way through an empire's ranks of kooky bosses with powers, taking them for themselves. Then their companion betrays them, they kill her and her boss.

Spoiler

Bravely Default

 

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A pink ball with a eating disorder gains ability the to throw heart emojis at people and beats a group of sisters and their god 

Spoiler

Kirby Star Allies

 

Edited by Papa Brando

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An immortal barbarian suffers from memory loss. He finds his magic sword, buys some beer and a snowmobile, and decides to live in a shipwrecked boat. After a few days, he is attacked by two robots belonging to an evil mega-corporation, as well as a cybernetic fire-breathing dinosaur, who found his location after a misadventure with social media. The barbarian defeats the robots while the dinosaur retreats, and as he gives chase on his snowmobile, he is lead into a trap set up by deadpool on fire, who decides to have some fun with the "evil villian" tropes by hinting at his evil plan. The barbarian has none of it, and telepathically summons his flying sword to rescue him from the trap, and then escapes by jumping from the airship without a parachute. He survives, and decides to find a woman with magical nunchucks, as he had a dream about her earlier.

Context:

Spoiler

The Killer Instinct Novella: Chapter 2

 The normally charismatic rouge tries to tell some bad guys that the recent bout of destruction was a weapon malfunction, but rolls a 3.

Spoiler

Star Wars: A New Hope

A fight between a guitarist and a nature lover escalates into a giant battle between a walking tree and a fox that wields lightsabers.

Spoiler

From Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Storm 4. I actually don't watch the anime, so even I don't know the actual context of this one. Still fun to guess, though.

An eccentric old man is trapped in a box, and decides to make a song about it. Meanwhile, his kidnappers throw everything out of their airship in order to stay aloft, including their own members.

Spoiler

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

 

Edited by Hawkwing

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4 hours ago, Purple Mage said:

An emo kid throws some cola and fast food into a pit and somehow summons the dead.

Yay another Percy Jackson fan! Best books I've ever read!

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A very sleepy man has dreams of a bishonen, his girlfriend who keeps dying, a girl who takes forever to die and actually doesn't, and Ike of FE with an even bigger sword and few more years on him, plus a couple others. They defeat a vain pop idol boy who likes people abusing crushed rocks as a drug through a long journey over the course of just one night IRL. All in a entire bright and happy kid-friendly world filled with musical terms- much of which like the aesthetics would be inconceivable in 1849 France. 

Spoiler

Eternal Sonata (Not a bad game by the way- could use some tweaks and a little less kiddy plot though. PS3 version is best.)

 

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Luddite asshole is a total buzzkill for pretty much his entire trip into the big city and has a dramatic overreaction to his newly found fame.

Spoiler

Brave New World - the book by Aldous Huxley; I swear I couldn't possibly make more light of a dystopian novel where the main character commits suicide if I tried.

A girl is literally tied up with her crush in a hot spring until some reptile person cuts through some magical white material to "save" them from a kinky good time ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Spoiler

Fire Emblem Fates: Revelation; the ending of Chapter 10, where Corrin rescues Team Takumi

Grunt scientist whose job consists of merely pushing buttons and objects is forced to clean up a horrible mess that his incompetent bosses created.  Somewhere along the way, he is forced to kill a giant floating baby that shoots sparks from its head.

Spoiler

Half-Life

A clothing company starts gentrifying a rundown church with their private military company, but their efforts are halted through the magical power of gang violence.

Spoiler

Saints Row 2 to be fair, this is when Saints Row started getting ridiculous, so even a normal description would still seem bizarre.

A celebrity martial artist saves the world by befriending a pink blob that eats a lot.

Spoiler

Dragon Ball Z; when Hercule uses companionship to get Buu to stop killing people.

 

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Crazy 1,000 year-old girl kills people with singing.

Hilda uses her Song of Ruin in Stella Glow.

Dude counts to three then a rabbit explodes.

Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Lesbian demon stabs girl, then kisses her.

Aluche's death to Malvasia in the beginning of Nights of Azure 2.

Space travellers cooperate with homicidal robots to fight some guys from another dimension.

Episode "The Scorpion" from Star Trek: Voyager.

Guy makes a pact with the devil to get laid.

Goethe's "Faust".

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A shapeshifting alien policeman crash-lands in Antartica, and becomes made of ice as a result. It enters a fighting tournaments as a gesture of good will to the people of earth and to gain its stuff back.

Spoiler

Glacius's bio from Killer Instinct.

A soup loving sorcerer attempts to betray a king, but botches the plan at the last moment. As punishment, he's made the bad kind of immortal. He also unwisely makes enemies with a single-minded immortal rock monster. In the modern day, he's tricked by evil Wal-Mart to release a dimension-conquering warlord gargoyle. As a response, he revives another dimension-conquering warlord, except this one has two heads (technically), and beats the crap out of the sorcerer for summoning him. It has nothing to do with anything, but he survived being sent to space without a spacesuit.

Spoiler

Kan-Ra's story from Killer Instinct in a nutshell.

Hero saves country, saves princess, slays dragon, and marries princess at the end. Also, infanticide, regicide, patricide, and zombies.

Spoiler

Fire Emblem Gaiden

Ending spoilers to a story heavy game (despite the fact that I haven't beaten it yet):

Immortal is faced with his Mortality in physical form. He either talks to it, kills it, disappears after convincing himself that he doesn't exist, or tells a walking suit of armor that his Mortality is preventing justice from prevailing, leading to the armor getting a power boost strong enough to wipe the floor with the final "boss."

Spoiler

Ending to Planescape: Torment.

 

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Kid get a new car and blows up his dad's house.

Spoiler

Luke destroying the Death Star in Star Wars Episode IV.

Three men go on a Merry-Go-Round ride.

Spoiler

The climatic battle in Pirates of the Caribbean 2.

Three kids decide to take a break and go gambling.

Spoiler

The Locus Casino in Percy Jackson The Lightning Thief.

Impatient girl pushes her friend off a cliff.

Spoiler

Various times in the beginning of Zelda Skyward Sword.

 

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Guy impregnates his sister.

The opening narration to Hartmann von Aue's Gregorius

Crazy woman who eats things with her hand is ordered by even crazier woman who can use magic to make an impromptu dove impression.

Tales of Berseria, the infamous "Act! Like! A! Dove!" scene.

Six mental wrecks with magic powers walk down hallways while feeling sorry for themselves.

The entirety of Final Fantasy XIII

 

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