screenshot lp The League shall fall if I'm in control - A bad tactician plays Berwick Saga, Ironman mode!

[Hanes]

Spoiler

7 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

It's funny how that works. Pedos sure love trying to argue they're harmless by sugar-coating themselves as being victims of society who can't help what they're attracted to. It's what you call a false equivalence argument where they deliberately try and invoke the same argument the LGBT movement did. You know, despite the obvious difference in consent. And age. I guess pedos just like shoving themselves down throats by any means possible.... if you'll pardon the imagery.

Yeah... also the last image invoked... well it's a crass pun but a pun nonetheless and it's slightly humorous.

7 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

"All better than 7" ~Ruben
" FE7 > FE15 > FE9 " ~Also Ruben
Look, it's not even out of context this time.

Oh no... now we're going to get a rant where he disses on my favorite game, and one I thoroughly enjoyed.

7 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

15 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Actually, I'm pretty sure it's possible for human penises to "break", too. There may be no bones, but if an erect penis is twisted far enough, the tubes within it go pop. Isn't that fun?

Oh, yes. I know a story about that too thanks to a news article on a law-suit relating to that. But I am not posting it. It's better not shown.

Haha... this is... why I shouldn't pry on others' comments then again everyone does it to everyone else

 

[BrightBow]

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

the title of Knight Lord is to be granted to you. May you persevere in loyalty and love for His Majesty.

I accept with great joy. For His Majesty's sake, I will forever persevere! I will devote all the strength I have to Mother Veria and to the people of her kingdom!

I love the wording here. He makes it sound like he did but Reese specifically doesn't vow loyalty and obedience to the king. This vow is basically like the oath of the City Watch of Ankh-Morpork:

Quote

I, [recruit's name], do solemnly swear by [recruit's deity of choice] to uphold the Laws and Ordinances of the city of Ankh-Morpork, serve the public trust, and defend the subjects of His/Her [delete whichever is inappropriate] Majesty [name of reigning monarch] without fear, favor, or thought of personal safety; to pursue evil-doers and protect the innocent, laying down my life if necessary in the cause of said duty, so help me [aforesaid deity]. Gods Save the King/Queen [delete which is inappropriate].

 

Edited August 15, 2020 by BrightBow

[Saint Rubenio]

Part 54 - Massacre.

Hell yeah:

Spoiler

On 8/14/2020 at 3:08 AM, This boi uses Nino said:

  Hide contents

I see.

You glean.

I don't know, I think it was just my hand moving by instinct.

What instinct, though?

Lmao, have you truly never played FE7 after?

Nope. Must've been over half a decade since I last touched that one.

You really should to get used to it again.

I just don't feel like it. I played it a lot back then, and nowadays I just can't see anything about that game that I'd like to return to it for.

My FE journey is full of asterisks, in "short" it's like.

I played FE11 first but since my dad had a shop of games he sold on ebay, it wasn't mine and one day I left the cartridge above the box, my dad got mad because I could've lost it or whatever and I never played it again, after that all I remembered from the game was that there was a lot of blue in it, and there was a scene where you ran away and a woman was left behind, this of course somewhat happens in the prologue but I forgot the name of the game afterwards. 3 years later I saw my dad play FE15 and thus I asked my mom to get it for me for my birthday and I tore through that game, I was hooked. Then I played FE14 CQ and I couldn't beat it back then. Then I played 7 and 7 was hard to get into not because of no casual mode, but because the tutorial was ass. At one point I got over it and then FE7 became my passion, it didn't best FE15 (and still doesn't, I love FE15 a lot) but I have beaten every mode at least once, now I don't want to hear anything else from it though.

Well I guess I could just say "I played FE11 first, forgot about it then got FE15"... oh well.

How dare you forget FE11. It's the game with Wrys in it!

It only means she's hooked me in to know my place ❤️ 

Kinky.

cringe

Cringe isn't kinky...

Ah I see. Yeah I had heard of tactics points somewhere.

Every main mission update, perhaps?

Beetch Keeler too! Man I had other words to add too...

Eemotionleess Murdeereer works, too.

Deep... what a delightful scenery that describes *sniff* beautiful, here have 1,000,000 euros.

Hurray, a million euros! I could buy a lot of furniture with that!

😠

Don't blame me, that wasn't my doing!

You mean germ or is gem intentional?

I meant gem in a sarcastic manner. So... I suppose I meant germ, but not exactly.

Wait what? He didn't desert! He retreated as it was commanded! Unless sth else happened idk.

He didn't retreat "as it was commanded". It was commanded that he should've retreated a lot earlier. The four ballisticians in the chapter had stayed behind to protect the villagers as they made their own escape. That is punishable by death, apparently.

Lmao.

Reese is just... such a piece of work.

Yeah, big dummies.

The dummiest.

Man this is so heartwarming...

Gotta cherish these heartwarming Berwick moments amidst the rapist storylines.

Well I'm bad at weight measures, much less "stone". 50 kilograms is small person... gotcha. Though he doesn't have to carry it, he could have left it on the ground when fighting and picked it back up. However for a "massive" tree to weigh like a small person... it's pretty small tbh.

He carried it on his shoulder all the way back to Navarron. Why don't you try doing that, and see what happens? In lieu of Navarron, you gotta bring it to Navarra, Spain.

Lmao, duel of the caped men. GO!

Pah. I will never lose to the likes of Padolf.

Ah! A 2v1? Unacceptable, these fiends have got you cornered!

If you look closely, you'll notice that I took my cape from Herman. Which has been the source of much jest among the readers.

That is a brilliant idea, now it's a 2v2 battle between the caped men. Also Lebough says "Well-benig"

Dang it! That's not the game, that's my mistake. I've got a new computer, you see, a laptop this time. It's better than my old rig, but I'm still not quite used to the keyboard, so I make more typos than usual.

Haha get rekt "Volcen's"

Poor li'l Volcen.

Bruh... I didn't even know that was a thing lmao.

You missed like 30 updates, of course you don't.

Though I also would forget about some spy I captured a long-time ago... well "long" time ago.

Yeah, as others have explained, this wasn't as much Volcens being dumb as Herman taking advantage of the situation.

Damn... Reese you really are horrible!

He has some moments that are just... why, Reese?

That's... disturbing...

Right, you've also missed the running gag.

Uh... who are these? The previous Razite emperors? Nah right?

The previous... what? No!

Riana then... nvm.

It's Aegina's homeland. Of course, you don't even know who Aegina is, because you missed her introduction and I've barely used her otherwise.

HHAHAHA LMAO.

Well, it's the truth!

[Insert Navy seals copypasta here]

Ahh, yes. A classic.

Lol

Lollipop.

Lol, Reese is definitely doing this.

He always does, the bastard!

Lmao that last sentence... very true.

Really doesn't take long to see it. I've been saying the same thing all game!

God damn Reese...

Also known as the alternative title to the game.

Haha! Farewell too!

Bye-- Wait, no, the update just started. I should be saying "hello" now!

 

 

On 8/14/2020 at 3:25 AM, Dayni said:

  Hide contents

  He really isn't that close, the pencil's too wide.

His real facial hair crime's the soul patch.

Oh, right. He has a soul patch. I never even noticed.

Also, I like how you say Numida's stache isn't "that close", but spent the entire FE6 and TRS LPs telling me that my sprite had Hitler's mustache.

Beyond Rafiel, he is indistinct, though you are right that there's something there I've always felt it wasn't as great as all that. Then with Rafiel the end of that period is left a bit too open and I lose track of Rafiel and Hetzel disappears into his manse and does nothing else.

Yeah, that's the problem. There are hints of a compelling character there, but they do nothing with him.

And I'm pretty sure if I thought on it I could pick 10 bigger wastes of potential. I'll have to try to avoid Begnion just making up the full list though. 😛

Hah! I dare you to go ahead.

I also missed Shiharam's best convo, I really like the one he has with Tanith (Best Tellius peg I'd argue, but off topic).

He finds himself in a situation where he's turned coat before and jut can't convince himself to do it again, partly because the man he turned coat to is actual nihilist Ashnard. Then Tanith says that he was an inspiration in that role of leaving Begnion, only for the Shiharam she sees now to be flooding a region to slow the enemy down angers her toward him and loses the respect she had. It says a fair bit about Begnion, more than we usually get. Frankly, it's one of the better boss convos in the series.

Hey, I didn't say Shiharam's bad. Just that he's not the queen's beans like everyone seems to believe.

...Which, overall, was what I felt when I played Tellius. Everyone's always praising these stories as if they're some amazing shit, and... To be honest, I didn't find that in there. They were good stories, but that's it. Certainly not worth subjecting myself to PoR's disastrous gameplay.

I see, so Azrael is important to Owen's dark side. Fitting name.

Kinda, yes. We'll see him later. Unless Owen dies, of course.

Imagine if this were just some randomer who'd fallen over.

That would've been an awesome twist.

He almost didn't get away, he was so determined.

"What's that? You wanted to protect civilians? That's not what we do in the Verian Army. You should've let them all die. Death by whip it is!"

Rosecchar's a dick.

I mean, did you see his face? Is it really all that surprising?

Why do people keep falling for the nation that's named after a verb for destroying an area with fire?

I mean, what would you rather have: Laz or Razeveria?

Imagine if it was this old man who saved Sherpa.

Berwick Saga would be best game ever. Even more so than it already is.

Bluck is the only shopkeeper worthy of development according to Kaga.

Hey, he's the one that gets the most, but Teresa gets quests too, Savat and Cecily have their own mission, Carmal is involved in Czene's character arc, Lendel has the Simas thing, Yumil has that scene with Owen and Yumil Without Her Hood, axeman has the axe sidequest...

Really, it's just Pejj that gets nothing. He just... sells you spears, and that's it.

It's nice to see that his work is paying dividends, though I have to assume RIP Morrison.

Not really. He claims he's leaving the village. I'm assuming he's just hiding somewhere.

Daoud is an absolute unit.

Carrier.

Indeed he is.

Considering he either spilt the log down and was carrying it in a bag or was carrying it in his off hand on the way, Daoud fighting with that tree is mad strong.

That level was just a fraction of his power.

He's pretty beefy, all right.

Are you kidding me? She knows that smile wouldn't be aimed at her, so she'd be doubly safe.

I mean, I'd still be scared that he might run out of enemies and come for me.

Sheesh, that was cruel to SImas.

Alas, poor Simas.

Also, are all those losses why the place was so small years later?

...Could be. Now that you mention it... could be.

My thoughts exactly.

This is too uptempo a score for a scene about political intrigue, not gonna lie.

It's uptempo because it's basically the first time people have succeeded in influencing Volcens to do the right thing. Heck, I think it should be MORE uptempo. It's the first scene where Herman has been soundly defeated!

Also, man is Volcens just that determinedly petty huh?

You haven't seen anything yet.

...No, really. I mean that. You think he's bad now? He's only going to get worse!

Course, with the Walublondie and Gharnef working for him I shouldn't be surprised.

Frankly, the only reason these three are as dangerous as they are is because you can only fault two of them for being dumbasses.

And I mean, with how Reese has done his father certainly has been a good influence on him.

Clearly the Bernstool is a good stool.

@WhenLeBoughbreaks: If there's one thing I can trust, it's noble stupidity.

How I respond (And how Volcens should respond).

Don't give him ideas. He might start to clap off-beat to call guards to kick everyone but Herman and Padolf out of the throne room.

@SienAAAAAAAAAAAAA: I managed to escape the cell for a bit and it was only to give Reese a title. I'd rather it have been @BerwickBernard

Come now, that's not very in-character for Sienna. Remember her first scene? The one where she harped on and on about Reese's beautiful eyes? I think she's more disappointed that it's not both of them at the same time.

That's nice.

All that boost is noice.

Very noice. Now let's keep those promotions coming.

Does he get move?

I... think he doesn't. But don't quote me on that.

That seems very like him.

Should we use a method where he uses physical phenomena to help remember? Like he pinches himself. Or we use a knife each time we want him to remember something.

Ahahahahahahah... I fully support this idea.

I feel like I missed the surprise.

It's just the 180º turn the song takes at the 1 minute mark. It's not that much of a surprise, but I like it. But of course, you're the same runt respectable gentleman that does not like Berwick Saga's ost quite that much.

I was calling you good Reese but this and Barselphon, I don't know what to think. Devious.

He's... morally questionable. Let's leave it at that.

You knew that greed can only bring you an ill fate.

Somehow I feel we're getting more mileage out of the Reesmile than the Runysmile. And that... worries me.

The escalation, too... Marth didn't exist, Roy was normal, Runan was unstable, and now we've got Reese, the full-on sociopath. Next LP's lord is going to be straight up a creepypasta character, at the rate we're going.

Valery better have an ill fate too.

We shall see.

I mean, we know Mordias was the real monster and a sire of monsters (I call Sienna either an accident or illegitimate).

She takes after her mother.

Also as a person descended from those who were ruled over by a larger nation I feel a bit of solidarity. Like Magnard should just be allowed to waltz up to the league nobles and do this.

Sherpa could've done it, if only he had agreed to commit patricide.

I bet the Empier would be a better nation than the Empire at least.

Goddamnit, two typos!? What do I proofread my updates for?!

What is it with these racist Judgrali and just repeatedly migrating from continent to continent and fucking it up for everyone else?

Lazberia... it's not the nicest place, all right.

At least he has two arms.

What's the reference here?

Magnard just wanted to die.

That's pretty sad.

Do it do it do it.

He was tired of it all.

Imagine if he'd tried to headbutt it.

Maybe it would have broken off him, who knows.

This is Sherpa we're talking about. It'd break off his forehead and he'd laugh at it.

...Well, modern day Sherpa, anyway. Young Sherpa's expression was a lot more serious. Didn't seem like he was such a joker back then, either. It's a subtle difference that I enjoy.

This right here I should use more.

'Kay then.

Aegina clearly wanted to test out her fake id, only for something far worse to happen than Alex give her the shit beer.

Aegina is just the unluckiest woman, isn't she?

How many hills like this are there in Navaron?

Are they all hills for people to die on?

The infamous Death Hills of Navaron. One of the key landmarks of the place.

I want to use this too.

Go right ahead!

B-baka!

Kay.

These two in a nutshell.

That is also terrifying and chances are he'd kill her anyway.

...better to die than to become that guy's bride at the ripe age of 15...

Kaga and pedophilia: name a more depressing combo.

Hey, at least this time around he's framing the pedophiles as villains, not minor troublemakers like in TRS.

You could say he got the cold elbow.

Hah!

Rosalie just gets the best responses.

Even when she's just thinking.

There's a reason she's Aethin's favorite character. She's just great.

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

lands lands lands lands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

lands lands lands lands lands,

 I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

What was that Kay?

(Remind me to do a full version next time. Based off this classic.)

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah... Between that line and how quickly she gave up on Sherpa, I imagine she's one of those "married to her country" types.

I mean, clearly the good men have been doing nothing if Mordias and Volcens have been kings.

Hey, Roswick tries. It's just that Volcens won't listen to him, and he's too much of a sweet grandpa to grab him by the neck and force him to do so.

This truly is why Narvia should #Narxit.

Honestly? They probably should. They should just become a March like Sinon. Roswick would be ten times the ruler Volcens is if only he was allowed to actually take charge.

FTFY.

This kinda made my day.

I mean, I'd say he should go after Kay, mostly because I don't see what he sees in Aegina.

Uh... Neither do I. Heck, he had better chemistry with Rosalie in their first map than he's ever had with Aegina. And so far Rosalie hasn't even given any signs of swinging that way.

...Maybe for Sherpa. But other than that, I don't think so.

I want to make it clear that I can't just help their clans out of hand.

Sure, and lose their potential alliance in the long term?

Wait's who's that-

WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP

You know the only problem with this? It's going to become outdated in two weeks, when you next change your avatar. Though I suppose I also have changed mine once before, so who am I to judge.

Ah! Not this!

This is going to be a long complicated quest line isn't it?

Well...

Well she was found quickly.

Yeah. No it isn't.

And how sweet.

No snark, just wanted to say it.

Yeah, this was pretty wholesome. No rapists anywhere to be seen. It's great.

No need to highlight the text in the night theme.

*taps head

Ah! Foiled!

And so soon after my suspect disappears.

HMMMMMMMMMM

I ain't saying nothing.

Ward's just being thrifty, Clifford ain't a cheap date.

I haven't hired Clifford in a while, though... And with any luck, I never will again.

So what does the title mean in relation to her then?

Next update.

She realised it'd be game over.

Pffft!

I had to load so many images again just to read this update.

Sometimes you think it'll work out to load and then that happens.

I'm pretty sure it's Golb's ten thousand Reddit links. If you're reading this, please don't take it the wrong way, but... I can't even load the last page on my phone, because spoilers or not, the browser has to load everything, and fourty Reddit displays takes a ton of resources.

 

On 8/14/2020 at 4:54 AM, BrightBow said:

Keep in mind that the Archer on the southern bridge won't move, but the one on the northern one will. Not only that, but he also has Canto.

Ah!

For the rest of the pirates, it always seemed pretty random to me if they would keep running away or start attacking. I don't know if there is a set rule for their behavior. Either way, it's probably best to keep a look out for enemies with dangerous loadouts and skills. I recall Killer Axes, Poleaxes... and of course enemies with Vengeance.

I don't think they're aggressive. We'll probably be fine. Probably. Hopefully. ...Please let us be fine, please...

As for Weiss, it seems like he will automatically get crippled if hit by Sylvis. But you probably know that.

What, is there any other way to complete the map?

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Oh hey, it's General Crazyeyes again. Who I am still convinced is the son of Webber.

  

 

Ah, yes. I can see the resemblance. I wonder who the lucky girl was.

...That's probably it.

 

 Heck, I would be running too if I had more then 3 movement.

Hey, you probably got one of those fancy general shields. Don't complain, you could tank everything.
 

But... you are literally punishing him for NOT running away from the enemy.

"I want my men to have just the right amount of cowardice so they don't die in the frontlines, but also just the right amount of bravery so I can use 'em as meatshields."
 

 Or maybe Faye just got her ass kicked again.

Bully her as much as you want, but she's the only unit in the entire roster that is 100% safe from me. Faramir will be there to save her whenever I fuck up, and I'm never going to use Faramir. Everyone else could die any time.

Still, this turn of events is somewhat questionable. He didn't really desert, after all. He did however ignore a superior's orders, just like Marcel did. And we know what punishment he was meant to receive.
However... the superior in this case is Reese. And seeing how Reese makes no secret here that he disagrees with what was done to Burroughs, it's save to say he wouldn't have reported anything that would get him into trouble.

You think the other ballisticians reported him because he killed more Razites than them?

Also, there are some subtle blood spots on this sprite.

More ingame gore? Sheesh, I should've put up an age warning at the start of the update.

Oh come on, it's obviously not the same to just watch.

E-Ergh...

You can't use him for work, yet somehow he is still able to do missions for the rest of the month. You guys suck at this.

Maybe the evil Empire really isn't that evil. They watched a cartoon once and to this day they're still convinced that tickling someone's soles is the most heinous kind of torture.

On the other hand, it's the only Crossbow that has 2 range. So it can actually be quite handy for Christine since her Bow rank generally isn't the best.
Of course Christine is dead and Sylvis gets much better 2 range out of bows, so she has little use for it.

Still, even with nothing to craft, those materials are generally worth a good deal of money.

Yeah, of course.

There is of course a reward for crafting everything from the Blacksmith, but I'd imagine you already know it's not worth it. And you are already missing at least one Lion Pelt.
I know what it is, and... yeah. Not worth the trouble in the slightest. Lumiere's reward, on the other hand, can be useful, and crafting all of her stuff is much easier, since there's less of it and none of it requires a weapon.

That's a lot of cash for a scrub with no stats.

Heck, he only died because he just so happened to hide in a house that Axel happened to loot during the evacuation.

Probably another victim of Valery's schemes.

To be fair, Herman was probably giving him that excuse in the first place.

True. I give Padolf too much credit. He's not smart enough to think.

Nah. The only stat he beats base Ward in is Speed. Not exactly the most valuable stat in this game. Meanwhile Ward's weapon ranks are still much better.

...Yeah, you're correct. Ward is still the Endgame Beard.

Your investigation has come to a rather questionable conclusion, I must say.
Hahahahahah... Well, we'll see.

Yeah, it's a strange scene.
Obviously Jung is drawn and written as a creep, which considering we are in a Kaga game has... implications. But we really don't know anything concrete he had done that wouldn't reflect equally bad on Reese.

To be honest, he didn't seem like that much of a creep. He's never implied to do anything with Larentia beyond treating her as a bargaining chip. He even mentioned pampering his wife with Reese's money, though I suppose he could've been lying (not that I can imagine any reason for him to lie like that). An opportunistic prick with an unfortunate smile is the worst I could say about him.

Reese, meanwhile... Setting Jung up like that was cold. He could've just released Larentia and be done with it. But he had to get back at the guy for charging him for his blatant corruption that he suggested in the first place.

Even Larentia thinks this is fishy.

Considering what happened to Jung, clearly this isn't something that can be taken for granted. So you are wise for bending the knee here.

She wasn't thanking Veria for her mercy, she was begging her to have mercy and keep Reese from doing anything horrible.

I guess Duke Warrenheit really was just the Duke of the Lowlands then. At the very least so far he hadn't been framed as such a douchebag.
To be fair, he hasn't been framed as much of anything other than "Enid's dad who dies."

I'm kinda impressed that the game even has a separate sprite for the freshly wounded Sherpa. That's pretty neat.

With all the portrait reuses, it's something you wouldn't expect. Maybe Sherpa was the designer's favorite character? Or, wait, wasn't that Czene? I can't remember right now...
 

 Maybe if I still had depth perception, I could kick your ass, but now...

He got used to it pretty well, I have to say. He's quite the accurate chap. Or maybe that's why he lugs such big swords around. He figured, the more sword he has, the more ground it'll cover at once.
 

Probably not. I mean, you did write in your letter that you need to talk. Not that you need to have a duel to the death.

C'mon. Sherpa'd have to be really stupid not to realize what it was truly about.
 

 Also, it would be REALLY complicated to welcome you back into the clan right now. Considering that your story doesn't reflect well on my late father who everyone in our clan holds in the highest regard.

Funny how the game doesn't acknowledge this very obvious fact. Remember the time a random Highlander threatened to murder Sherpa in the tavern? Berwick doesn't 'member, apparently.
 

And Rosalie is actually the more important one of the two, funnily enough. If Aegina kicks the bucket, she's never heard from again. But Rosalie still has main story presence and shows up in other characters' events.

The game knows which one of them is the best.
 

Makes sense, though. He wouldn't run around in all black since he is either a Verian priest or was at least trying to pretend to be on. He even uses Blizzard for the kill rather then using Dark Magic like all the Raze Priests.

Yeah, it's neat attention to detail - and for the record, I doubt he was pretending. He used anima magic even after he revealed his scheme. No reason to keep pretending at that point, if he was a Razite. Pretty sure he's a corrupt Verian priest.

Anyway, I can't complain about the sprite. There's no better way to make someone look like an absolute creep than giving them the garbage bag getup.
 

Well, this sounds serious. Let's hope this whole thing doesn't get casually resolved in a side event that doesn't seem to know what kind of tone it wants to go for.

Eh... heheh... Yeah....
 

  Especially compared to that cliff over there where everything is burned down.

You'd think they would've barred the public from the place after it inexplicably went up in flames one day.

 He didn't even want to have a duel to the death with me.

Turns out she's just really into S&M. She got angry at the Razites for making her share Sherpa.

...I apologize for what I just said.

Must have been back when Christine died. I suppose they did have a lot in common. They both couldn't hit things with a bow.

Pfffft... Oh, fuck's sake...

Wait, the regular soldiers get paid less then Derrick? Poor schmucks.

For them, even the Kingfisher's daily specials would be too much.

I mean, if you ignore the fact that Reese is right on the money.

I doubt Derrick is trying to hide his identity here. The only thing he would want to hide is that he is from the empire. There is also no reason why he would have to hide his day job. He doesn't even seem to use a fake name, considering he was called Derrick back when he was still with the Imperial army. And a soft voice sounds like something he'd have, considering what a friendly and considerate young man he is.
Though I imagine the armor has nothing to do with shyness and more with the fact that he isn't much of a fighter and needs all the help he can get.

All fair points, but still. Reese should know better than to accept people's shady actions all willy-nilly after the whole Barselphon business.

Well, he was in the city earlier this month, so he is likely to operate in the area at least.

Yes, I pointed this out myself.

What might be more noteable then the 0-1 range is that unlike the other ranged spears this one has 60% accuracy instead of 50%.

True enough. That's pretty nice.

Not saying it's a great weapon or anything. Heck, I never actually crafted it. It just never seemed to be the best use for the materials I had. So I don't know how useful it is in practice.

Well, I think it's an okay craft for now. We'll see what happens.

 

 

On 8/14/2020 at 8:27 AM, The Roger The Paladin said:

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It's funny how that works. Pedos sure love trying to argue they're harmless by sugar-coating themselves as being victims of society who can't help what they're attracted to. It's what you call a false equivalence argument where they deliberately try and invoke the same argument the LGBT movement did. You know, despite the obvious difference in consent. And age.

Yeah, these people suck. Nobody who abuses kids is in their right mind.

I guess pedos just like shoving themselves down throats by any means possible.... if you'll pardon the imagery.

E E E U U U A A A A A A A A R F G H

"All better than 7" ~Ruben
" FE7 > FE15 > FE9 " ~Also Ruben
Look, it's not even out of context this time.

I should clarify: when I said "all better than 7", I meant the games that I played immediately after 7. You know, Binding Blade, Sacred Stones and New Mystery. Shadow Dragon is better than 7 too, but it took me a while longer to get into that one (in fact, I hadn't yet finished it when I did the FE12 LP), so I don't count it among my earliest FE experiences.

It was after Three Houses that my perception of the series as one that I unconditionally loved was challenged. I went from Three Houses to Echoes to PoR to Mystery book 1 (probably a mistake not to start with book 2). It wasn't until Radiant Dawn that I once again found a FE game that I could say was... tolerable. And, well, for me to once again claim to love a FE game... I know it'll sound sad, but the next one was Vision Quest. Not an official FE. A friggin' fangame.

Incidentally, Titus best lord. Not even kidding, that guy is an absolutely amazing protagonist. Also a green mage armor, as if he needed to be even more awesome.

Anyway, I went on a tangent. What I'm trying to say is, I may not've played 7 in years, but I still can acknowledge when games are worse than it. I have no interest in going back to 7, but if I absolutely had to, I'd definitely pick 7's painful mediocrity over Echoes's downright unfun maps and PoR's... downright unfun everything.

Is it bad that I never picked Valtome as gay because I assumed he was an autosexual? That is to say he's so up himself I believe the only thing he's turned on by is his reflection in the mirror. on the other hand that means he can always get lucky

He does thirst over Zelgius pretty hard. No pun intended.

Honestly, a lot of what makes the guy comes from dialogue involving Jill (or sometimes Haar). Most of it in supports/base conversations without him. Basically, a lot of his character is from their memories of him rather than what he does in person.

Yes, I understand that. Like I told Dayni, I'm not saying Shiharam is bad, just a tad worse than everyone says he is. Kinda like all of PoR's story. Though I may be biased because I despise that game, and every time I see someone claim that Tellius was the pinnacle of FE my eye twitches a little.

Oh, yes. I know a story about that too thanks to a news article on a law-suit relating to that. But I am not posting it. It's better not shown.

Y-Yes, please...

They dropped their jeans in the PSP remake? Oh dear...

Hah! No, not like that, you absolute dork!

Kind of put's Hubert and the Death Knight to shame. I never saw either of them get decapitated. Though come to think of it, that would have made me laugh a lot if they came back from it.

I mean, they get hit pretty hard and still don't die.

Reminds me... I got a reminder on why I don't really bother with the post-2012 Marvel comics recently when my brother described a storyline in the Hulk with The Leader recently. So, the Leader, who basically is a janitor that got irradiated with gamma radiation and ended up with a giant forehead and super-intelligence... which doesn't stop him from constantly deciding it'd be a good idea to agitate an individual who gets stronger as he gets angrier continuously instead of doing something actually smart, dies. He comes back to life because he "is so smart he just thinks himself back to life". Unironically. That is the dumbest bit of writing I've heard in years and makes the whole complaint I had about Jean Grey/Magneto look like a minor nitpick in comparison. You may wonder why I'd want to mention this, beyond bitching about stupidity. Well think about who it reminded me of. He was so smart he thought himself back to life. Ergo he was "too brilliant to die".

I like how that whole thing was leading up to the Brilliant Dumbass's famous line. Glorious. Never change, The Roger.

And that's only the largest living presently. There was one 25% bigger that fell in the 80s. I believe there's also larger dead ones. My point is, trees can get pretty massive given time.

Only makes Daoud more admirable.

I was implying they sold you his specially ordered "clothes" by mistake when you bought the bag earlier.

Oh-- Ahahahahahahah, yeah, I just got it! Damn... Bagman really struck gold with his business, didn't he? Not only are bags an expensive commodity in the future, they also double as top fashion!

Pretty sure I did both parts... I just had a lot less of the second half in there because I ran out of funny stuff. Or buzzing in my ear. One or the other. It's just at that point I'd skipped over the other readers' replies... which I've since fixed.

Please don't worry about it. Your health is more important than my notifications feed.

Happy Axe Man is my favourite NPC. He's like Footballman last game.

Hahahahah... Well, kinda. I can't donate money to him for no reason, sadly.

I suspect that wasn't the full tree.

It's still funnier to imagine it was.

It would have been funnier if Reese simply did the smile with the "you're quite brave Meryl".

Dang, missed opportunity! It totally would've been...

"If you push a negative hard enough and deep enough, it will break through to it's counterside and become a positive" ~ Saul Alinsky's rules for radicals (rule 11).
"Volcens got played by Lebough like a fiddle in the hands of a Georgian boy named Johnny" ~ The Roger the Paladin.

Pfffhwahahahahahahah... How many times has Volcens gotten played at this point? If Herman wasn't there, Volcens would be a complete non-issue...

To play devil's advocate, Volcens had no reason to remember her if she was acquitted... especially if, as implied by Roswick's dialogue, it was a while ago. This wasn't mere incompetence by Volcens... but blatant malice by Herman.

Indeed, Volcens isn't truly to blame here.

I miss the 80s, when it was canon that Alfred served in WWII and had a daughter with a woman in the french resistance (who literally showed up and stuck around for about 100 issues, the daughter not the mother). For some reason they retconned that after issue 400. Something to do with not aging the characters... and it getting towards the point where Alfred would be too old if he fought in WWII. So Julia Pennyworth forever disappeared from comics. Also of note is the woman Alfred had been with, Mademoiselle Marie, used to have her own series back in the fifties in Star-Spangled War Comics. She'd appear a lot in other war comics DC put out after, including SGT. Rock, The Losers, The Unknown Soldier, The Haunted Tank (which was about a tank crew and the ghost of a civil war general who hung around his descendant) and others that I don't remember. So it's kind of funny the daughter of two notable characters could disappear into the aether like that.

That's quite interesting. Honestly, Alfred's offspring is bound to be a great character. Alfred himself's already the most badass character. He's kinda like a posh Eugen. Instead of beating Batman with his fists, he does so with his sharp snark and subtle sarcasm. The four S's, you could call it.

"Who are you and why are you telling me this?"
 

She'd be great friends with Dedue, no doubt.

 

 

On 8/14/2020 at 9:48 AM, Dayni said:

Also, because my response was massive and I can't edit it, how does Derrick get recruited?

Heh...

Again, I ain't saying nothin'. You'll have to look for it yourself.

 

On 8/14/2020 at 4:05 PM, This boi uses Nino said:

  Hide contents

Yeah... also the last image invoked... well it's a crass pun but a pun nonetheless and it's slightly humorous.

Nothing is safe from The Roger. He is the Punmaster.

Oh no... now we're going to get a rant where he disses on my favorite game, and one I thoroughly enjoyed.

Well, it's not really worth a rant. It's not like Three Houses or PoR where my opinion is more unpopular and thus I feel the need to justify it. Echoes I hate for the same reasons as everyone that hates it: the map design is so bad, it borderlines on personal offense. I tolerated it for a while, but then I got to Nuibaba's Abode and it just... killed the entire game for me. I think the only map worse than that one in the entire series (for me) is Reunion At Dawn. Then there's the fact that the game lacks any replay value whatsoever due to the tiny cast, which is another titanic flaw, as I tend to replay FE games quite often.

The only things I enjoyed about the game were story and aesthetics, and, well, as I've said many times before... I totally respect people who play FE for the story, but I'm afraid I don't. I want solid gameplay, and Echoes does not have solid gameplay. Again, fair enough if you enjoy it, I'm not the kind of guy to scream obscenities at people for enjoying things that I don't (or at least I try not to be); but you can't seriously tell me those maps are good, or even decent. They're shit, and that's all there is to it.

Haha... this is... why I shouldn't pry on others' comments then again everyone does it to everyone else

Actually, it surprises me the amount of people who seem relunctant to take a look at other commenters' stuff. Some guys seem to think that people post public responses to the public thread so they can have a really private conversation with me that nobody else should dare to intrude on, or else.

Come now, don't be shy. Poke your nose around. You might find that some of the readers are funnier than me!

 

On 8/15/2020 at 8:03 PM, BrightBow said:

I love the wording here. He makes it sound like he did but Reese specifically doesn't vow loyalty and obedience to the king. This vow is basically like the oath of the City Watch of Ankh-Morpork:

Hah! Now that you mention it, you're right. Shrewd Reese sidestepped his vows to Volcens quite skillfully.

 

 

How's that title for clickbait:

Spoiler

First, hero of the children. Now, hero of the sea. What's next?

Look, people!

Hah! Ten bucks says it'll end in 3...

2-- Oh, fuck, it's already over.

An unknown ship?!

I can't make out its ensign, but... No... Black sails...?

Okay, don't panic. The Sinon Knights are here. Just evacuate the deck and let us take over--

Batten down the hatches, men! THE PIRATES ARE COMIIIIING!

Pirates?!

But why would they target this ship...?

Oh, you absolute buffoon, now you've done it! Everyone's panicking!

This is why they're here, to protect us from these pirates! Everyone, follow me, and we'll take cover below deck till it's over!

See, that's how you do it, nose-man. The captain leaves, and...

Everyone follows suit-- Wait, there's still a guy standing there!

Wait, Weiss! Don't board us yet, one of the civilians hasn't left the deck!

Ah, there we go. Owen isn't coming today, because this map is too fast paced for his 3 move butt. Same goes for Derrick, sadly. I considered bringing Axel because ocean map, but I needed room for Kramer to get more happiness points. They would both have been equally useless, anyway.

Here is the map. Visually speaking, probably the most unique map in the game, seeing how it's a boat map. It can also be a rather tricky one if you're not careful.

All the pirates scattered around here are carrying things. They aren't aggressive: they will instead try to flee to the escape point behind Weiss. Most of them have coins, which are nice but not excessively so. The two pirates further up, however...

Gold dust is necessary for a brave axe that will turn Axel into the second coming of Garo. The health charm is okay, but the gold dust is the most important thing.

Okay, let's go. Look, it's Weiss. What an unbelievable coincidence that we'd meet him here.

C-Captain! The initial boarding party was ambushed!

What?!

There's a group of soldiers readying for battle on the other ship!

Those tricky dogs... They've brought an escort team!

Captain, what do we do?

All hands, prepare for combat! We'll show these louts that these waves belong to the Sea Mice!

Aye aye, sir!

The pirate leaves Weiss's side.

Everyone, leave the captain to me! I'll take care of him myself! (Weiss... This time, you're mine!)

The objective is to capture Weiss. Game over if Weiss dies. Interesting. Don't worry, though. This map won't be a RNG-fest. You'll see.

Let us get started. That gold dust will be mine!

Of course he ran first. Kaga knows what I'm after.

Well, then. This is... oh God, this is so risky.

That's better. Or so I thought, for about ten seconds.

Uhhh, injury!

Aaaaaand it's about around this time that my pants began to require a thorough laundering.

I mean, he failed, but still...

Every pirate in this map has Counter. Every one of them. Every one. And that's not all...

Turns out, the pirates do attack. Their priority is to escape, but if there's a unit in range when they stop moving, they will strike.

Thankfully, Ruby is out to prove that she's above my failings as a tactician.

Hohohohohohoh, is she ever...

Let's attempt a capture. 'Cause why not.

Nice.

One last guy reached Ruby. This one also has crit. I... I don't think I need to state in how much psychological pain I was right around this time, do I?

Thank you for being good, Ruby.

Arturo hands over one of his shields to Larentia so he has room for this guy's items.

...It wouldn't have been necessary, because one of them was a coin, but oh well.

Almost at a level. If you recall, Arthur and Ruby both need to level up after being permanently recruited to promote. Arthur has long since reached his thresholds - he just needs that level. As for Ruby, I'm hoping she'll get that spear point today. Then we'll have two promotions next update!

I think it's about time to address these archers.

First one is a shitty Overwatcher with sniper arrows. The second one...

...Is this monster. I think he kills everyone but Arthur with the triple-fire bow and the mithril arrows. I considered bringing Thaddy to get the bow (it's an Erzie item), but even with just the apollyon Thaddy would've gotten one-shot. We need to kill this guy, and fast.

By the way, I was wrong before. The first guy Sherlock shot wasn't the gold dust guy. This is the gold dust guy.

It makes me sleep easier at night knowin' those rich tubs o' lard are a few coins poorer!

Oh, but you see, we aren't giving the gold back to them either. We'll pocket it and use it ourselves. Which... once again makes me question Reese's morality, but hey, I want that axe too, so I'm not the one who's about to confront him about it.

Drat, double drat, and triple drat. Sherlock, I brought you today because I was hoping you wouldn't do stuff like this for once!

Fuck... They run so fast! And I'm terrified of that archer... I'm never going to stop them in time! I'll have to devise a plan B...

Heheheh... I know exactly what that plan is. See, if Larentia stops on that hex, she'll be able to make it to the escape point in exactly two turns. More than enough time to keep those two from fleeing. And since they can't attack her... Heheheh.

Only problem is, she'd get attacked by this bastard. I need to wait for him to wait before I have Larentia advance. And wait.

In the meantime, Kramer tries to make himself useful.

Yeah, sorry but no. With the freeze arrows, Sylvis can Jeigan the guy to 1 HP for, hopefully, another capture.

Great as ever, Sylvis.

Incidentally, the bow was red. So long. But she has a spare one, thankfully.

Ah--! No, wait, no crit this time. Phew... Nothing to worry about, then.

Let's see if your bite matches your bark, then.

Clearly not.

Spear time.

...For some reason, I was paranoid that she might be in danger if she went the whole way. So instead we're doing this. Don't ask me why, I was a bit shaken after that first turn blunder.

There we go!

Yeah, yeah. It really doesn't matter.

...Still, can't say I'm about to complain that she did this. Even if it does not matter.

Look at all that loot, trying desperately to run away... Little do they know, it is a futile endeavor!

Arthur takes the one slowpoke down.

You're not Ernst. You don't get to die standing, I'm sorry.

Bleeeehhh...

Okay, and with that... I'm really hoping that last enemy move will be Weiss, and not the archer.

Wonderful! All according to plan so far.

Larentia can even finish that one guy on her way north.

Excellent.

Okay.

Ah! More enemies.

Okay, now... Gotta move Larentia first of all.

First step, throw a pilum at this guy. Didn't attack him directly because I would've risked Larentia being unable to Canto away from the archer.

Not too bad!

And with that, we're out of the archer's reach once more.

Now, let's get working on the closest pirates. I think Arthur will be the one to lure the archer closer. His defense is the best of the current team.

Oof! 1 damage, oh noes!

...Oh, for fuck's sake... Check the damn inventories, Ruben!

That is not a consolation. My horse...!

Revenge for Arthur's horse!

Yeah, that's right. Try to kill Ruby's horse from all the way over there, will ya?

...I was so dumb that day, I swear. Why!? Why would I leave Ruby there!? What were you thinking, me? You don't even have the "forgot to check inventory" excuse this time! You took a screenshot of it, you fucking imbecile!

So...

Yeah. That was a Sinon Stallion, too.

Sigh... I was playing extra bad in this map. It's a miracle noone's died yet.

Fuck you! Revenge for Ruby's horse! And this time, nobody can come out of nowhere to kill Sylvis's horse - mainly because she doesn't have any!

Ahahahahahahahahah... A one-shot! So much power!

Next up, Sherlock. He can finish off this pirate with the sniper arrows.

Not bad, I guess.

Not that there was much of a way to screw that up. Next time there's a chance to miss, we'll see how the real Sherlock operates.

You know, as I'm writing this, I realize that it would've been a great idea to give Ruby the Angon. I crafted it and then proceeded to completely forget I had it.

Anyway.

Yeah, no.

Suffer the consequences of your misguided actions!

Yes! YESSSS!! It is happening, people! The dream is real! Free Clifford is inbound!

Now she just needs to survive the map. RNGoddess, please... behave, for once!

If you're wondering why I'm not sharing screenshots of these guys' gear and skills, it's because... Well, I completely forgot to check them out. Like I said, extra bad that day.

Ahhh, Double-Shot! That looks good.

He even employed a flashbang, for extra reliability!

Aaaaaand fuck.

Ahhh, finally! I checked the skillsheet! They all have the same skills, I'm pretty sure. Vantage... Oh, my goodness...

At least that's one goal complete. Those pirates are going nowhere. We can take care of the mercenaries at our leisure.

Hurry, Arthur! Literally and figuratively!

Sylvis prepares some sniper arrows for next turn.

Okay, turn 5. Now Sylvis's death won't erase Ruby's WpSkill gains. Only Ruby's death could keep her from promoting...

Set up an Overwatch, so Arthur doesn't get too overwhelmed.

Pretty good!

Hah! Too bad. You have fallen for it!

And now you're screwed!

Down with you!

Doesn't even matter what he gets, he's good to go.

Still, strength and accuracy doesn't hurt. Thanks, Artie!

Now... I'm pretty sure that guy has crit. Let's correct that by murdering him to death. If... If Sherlock can make this work, of course. He can't land an 80%, who's to say he can land this coinflip?

Color me impressed.

And now...

...Fuck... Okay, I checked his speed, and he can't outrun Ruby. I hate to take this risk so soon after... well, after I spent the entire first half of the map risking her life unnecessarily, but I don't want this guy to roam free. She'll have two chances, and she only needs to hit once to cancel him out, at least. It sounds reliable, but... oh, please, let this work out...

Hoo... okay. I can relax for now.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!! FUCK, ONE OF THOSE PIRATES HAD A HATCHET! LARENTIAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Aaauuuurgh...! Hoo, haa, aah...! Fuck me sideways, blistering barnacles, how bad can one be at strategy games!? The hatchet, Ruben! Couldn't you see the damned hatchet!?

At least now he's fucked. Didn't even need Windsweep.

Damn you for giving me a scare. Die! Perish! Fall!

Yeah, yeah. The important thing is that Larentia is now truly safe, and the main targets cannot flee.

...Oh, please... Another guy with crit. How many fuckers are going to have crit today?! Ohhh, how I look forward to getting the hell outta here... I didn't think this map would be this unpleasant!

Yeah, you're dying right now. I don't care if the other guy attacks Sylvis - without crit, he cannot kill her on his own.

Unless she misses. That'd be... problematic.

Okay, no. Thank goodness.

Yeah, you go ahead and do that. For all the good it'll do you!

D'awww... C'mon, Arturo, don't be like that.

That is better.

You made the 50% work, Sherlock. Do the same with this, and I shall be profoundly grateful.

I am profoundly ungrateful.

Try again.

You've got to be kidding me...

Well, no matter.

Since the enemies are trying to get as close to the escape point as possible, I get to Windsweep them without risk.

Come at me, ye scurvy dogs! I'll knock you into next week!

I'd love it if this guy could actually knock me into next week. Then I could read all the future updates and prevent any blunders I commit.

...No doubt replacing them with new ones...

Finally! About friggin' time, Sherlock!

If I could feed Sherlock a level, it'd be pretty nice. As sporadically as I've used him, I'd like to promote him.

Now... About Weiss.

Weiss is among the most amazing bosses in the entire game. He has Vantage, which is already bad enough; Parry in case you get through the Vantage, and every single bane skill other than Arrowbane. If he were a bad person, this'd make for a pretty crazy encounter. However, here's the catch: Weiss will always use Mercy when fighting. He is not out for blood. As well as this, there's a pretty reliable strategy to take him down. See if you can guess what it is.

All the while, I'll be having Larentia slowly fight off the pirates next to the escape point.

Here's the plan: Arthur will lure Weiss closer.

Not that it should matter, because Sylvis will stop him before he makes it to Arturo.

Like clockwork.

100% hitrate? It's all over for Weiss.

Oh wow, his sprite is absolutely badass.

There's nowhere for you to run! Today, you're coming with me!

Sylvis, Sylvis, Sylvis... Isn't it about time we stopped playing this silly game? Most men wouldn't be able to handle a girl playing hard-to-get like you!

Nonsense like that won't catch me off guard any longer! This ends now!

Like I said last time, you'll never be able to catch a man like me... You'll have to kill me.

The game won't let me, Weiss. And count your lucky stars for that.

...Nah, actually, I'd still capture you even if the option to kill you was there. I do like you.

I can't be contained, not even by a lovely lady like you. Now, why don't we discuss this in a more peaceable manner?

Oho! He really went there!

Holy shit, she did not like that.

Ouchie...! That's going to leave a bruise...

Uhhh bow rank.

And there we go. If Sylvis hits Weiss, she automatically cripples him. It would've been cool if she had a scripted Maim trigger, too. Either way, it's over.

I've done it... I finally got you, Weiss...

Heh... That was a nice shot... Sylvis...

......

All that remains is to finish the pirates.

GYAAAAHHHH STOP THIS

That axe is ours!

I'll save the next one for Sherlock.

Nice. Good work. Not that we're in any hurry at this point.

Are we the bad guys here?

Ahhh, bow skill!

...for fuck's-- Okay, that's it. I didn't intend to mess with the Overwatch archer, but I am not letting this stand.

First off, Arthur triggers the Overwatch.

Owww! That was uncalled for! Though, on the other hand, I suppose that is one less use of the kiteshield wasted... Hmm.

Next up, Kramer Jeigans the archer.

Now, since the archer doesn't move, we get to exploit his AI. Kramer moves away, and...

The archer goes after Arthur, instead of setting up a new Overwatch.

And that's it. Now that this complicated set-up is done...

We get to do this entirely without risk!

Good, very good.

Strength would be nice.

That is not strength. That is useless. Why do I bother with this guy...?

All right, the time has come to capture Weiss. I could give Weiss to anyone, but I want to do it with Sylvis because it's appropriate. To that end, Sylvis hands over a couple things so she doesn't have to drop anything.

And now--

Look, I can hit things too! I'm as cool as Sylvis!

What!? Sherlock, no! No!

...Oh, never... never mind, he's just fine! Okay, that's great, then. Guess we'll capture him another day.

...oh, for crying out loud-- Seriously!? You get a good level in the alternate timeline!? I only did this to show Weiss's death quote, you bastard! Don't do this to me!

...Whaaat...? Wait, but didn't he say he was...

...Okay, that's a mistranslation. It's been reported, too. I just think it's too funny not to show it. His death quote in the next version (coming out Soon™) is this:

I guess... I've lost this round... Sorry... Sylvis...

(Incidentally, I discovered in the alternate timeline that Larentia has been blocking reinforcements the entire map. That's nice)

Okay, let's go back to the real timeline now.

Not a bad haul.

Something good, perhaps?

Awwww... Sylvis!

In any case, that's it. I... I'm not proud of how I did that map. Too many blunders that could've easily cost Ruby her life, right at the end of the road, too... I don't think I can call this a perfect map in good conscience, after losing Ruby's Sinon Stallion in such a stupid manner. But, eh... I suppose we made it through, and that's what counts. Next time, we'll witness not one but two promotions, as well as two mercenary recruitments. We're on one hell of a roll! Look forward to next time, and I will see y'all again then. Buh-byeeeeeeeee~ and fareweeeeeeeell~!

 

Death count: Christine
                        Esteban
                        Czene
                        Faye x 2

* Unavailable

Capture count: 2 (Daoud, Elbert)

Cripple count: 1 (Perceval)

Reset count: 3 (Ward: 1, Abus: 2)

 

Current perfect streak: Sorry nothing

Best perfect streak: 6 maps

 

BONUS: Weiss's default death quote and animations, because they're awesome.

"This much fun" watching all your loyal men getting hunted down and massacred? All right...

His first strike is pretty cool already.

Then he gets to his second strike and... Wow. He's about as much of a show-off as Sylvis. They really are made for each other, hahah.

 

 

[BrightBow]

Spoiler

36 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hey, you probably got one of those fancy general shields. Don't complain, you could tank everything.

For like one turn or two. It only got D durability.
 

39 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Probably another victim of Valery's schemes.

And another victim of Axel's chronic need for loot and pillaging.
 

56 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

All hands, prepare for combat! We'll show these louts that these waves belong to the Sea Mice!

It's more like the Sea Mice belong to those waves.
You know, because you will all die here like rats. *rimshot*
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It makes me sleep easier at night knowin' those rich tubs o' lard are a few coins poorer!

You know what else will make you sleep easier?
Death!
*rimshot*
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh right, Sherlock. Nevermind.
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Heheheh... I know exactly what that plan is. See, if Larentia stops on that hex, she'll be able to make it to the escape point in exactly two turns. More than enough time to keep those two from fleeing. And since they can't attack her... Heheheh.

Well, besides those with throwing axes.
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

So loot and EXP it is then? How generous.
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah! More enemies.

Hmmm, probably should say "We're here."
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ending your turn in Aim range of someone with a Gatling Bow? I get wanting to get close to Sylvis, but still...
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Like I said last time, you'll never be able to catch a man like me... You'll have to kill me.

I think you mistake Sylvis for Raquel. She killed plenty of people.
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

But then again, whoever wrote this chapter seems to have made the same mixup. Sylvis has a no-kill policy? Didn't notice that when she mowed down dozens of Bornian fools back in chapter 5.
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Doesn't he also have a separate quote when it's Sylvis who arrows his head?
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Not bad for a palette swap of Lebough.
He is missing some animations, though. Like, I think he has no dodge animation. Which is kinda funny given how good he is at dodging.

 

[Pengaius]

I was so happy when I saw the title, but alas, horses don't get death puns. 

[Punished Dayni]

Spoiler

9 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh, right. He has a soul patch. I never even noticed.

Also, I like how you say Numida's stache isn't "that close", but spent the entire FE6 and TRS LPs telling me that my sprite had Hitler's mustache.

  Two things: First, I didn't say that about your sprite that often.

Second, Numida's is too wide to be the square it has to be to be a pencil moustache. I stand by that statement that it was certainly not one while your previous one was much closer.

14 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Which, overall, was what I felt when I played Tellius. Everyone's always praising these stories as if they're some amazing shit, and... To be honest, I didn't find that in there. They were good stories, but that's it. Certainly not worth subjecting myself to PoR's disastrous gameplay.

I mean, you can read my reaction to that late game if you want.

It's in my sig. There you may also find me screaming at Sothe and Michiah's relationship, asking if Tibarn and Nailah would do it, shrugging my shoulders at Oliver and actually having Mist fight.

15 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hey, he's the one that gets the most, but Teresa gets quests too, Savat and Cecily have their own mission, Carmal is involved in Czene's character arc, Lendel has the Simas thing, Yumil has that scene with Owen and Yumil Without Her Hood, axeman has the axe sidequest...

Really, it's just Pejj that gets nothing. He just... sells you spears, and that's it.

I was thinking the shopkeepers specifically, discounting the atelier.

Especially the men have this issue, considering what some of the women have gotten it's kinda frustrating just what they've gotten though.

16 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Come now, that's not very in-character for Sienna. Remember her first scene? The one where she harped on and on about Reese's beautiful eyes? I think she's more disappointed that it's not both of them at the same time.

I mean, she was far away from Reese's eyes in that scene and appreciates Bernard more, especially because he's on Berwick Island Prison Resort.

She can do both.

18 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lazberia... it's not the nicest place, all right.

I mean, if the racist Judgrali had a bullion for each time they ruined a continent by migrating there they'd have two bullions.

Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it's happened twice.

18 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

What's the reference here?

I mean, at least he didn't lose an arm. You were saying Magnard should have gone for Sherpa's shoulder and if it had gone wrong......

I wasn't even trying to make a Berserk reference and I did anyway.

23 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Honestly? They probably should. They should just become a March like Sinon. Roswick would be ten times the ruler Volcens is if only he was allowed to actually take charge.

I'm not going to lie, Aethin had the whole thing where there was the categories of nations under the league and I kinda wish more was done with that to specify how they all relate to one another in game and who's more autonomous.

25 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Uh... Neither do I. Heck, he had better chemistry with Rosalie in their first map than he's ever had with Aegina. And so far Rosalie hasn't even given any signs of swinging that way.

...Maybe for Sherpa. But other than that, I don't think so.

I mean I'd get it if it was Sherpa she was wanting to bang regardless of her sexuality.

39 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

First, hero of the children. Now, hero of the sea. What's next?

Who was the next less useless Superfriend? That's the twins and Aquaman covered.

40 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

2-- Oh, fuck, it's already over.

AW SHIT IT'S GOING DOWN

(The link is for everyone, the line is for me.)

41 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Gold dust is necessary for a brave axe that will turn Axel into the second coming of Garo. The health charm is okay, but the gold dust is the most important thing.

Reincarnation confirmed?

43 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The objective is to capture Weiss. Game over if Weiss dies. Interesting. Don't worry, though. This map won't be a RNG-fest. You'll see.

That's kinda neat.

And of course there'd be a way, Kaga had to make sure not to accidentally screw over the player in this game.

44 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Every pirate in this map has Counter. Every one of them. Every one. And that's not all...

Brilliant.

Just, absolutely sublime.

Thanks Kaga, I hate it.

(Yeets anyone who says Kaga did good boat maps)

45 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hohohohohohoh, is she ever...

Pirate with axe attacks, ends up dropping weapon.

Is this the guy inflicting confusion on himself?

46 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Is this monster. I think he kills everyone but Arthur with the triple-fire bow and the mithril arrows. I considered bringing Thaddy to get the bow (it's an Erzie item), but even with just the apollyon Thaddy would've gotten one-shot. We need to kill this guy, and fast.

What is this mad lad doing here?

An infantry unit with canto.

FUCK THIS GAME

49 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yeah. That was a Sinon Stallion, too.

Sigh... I was playing extra bad in this map. It's a miracle noone's died yet.

RIP good horse.

And also the horse Arthur came on.

Seriously, horses and water do not mix, why does media do things with water horses?

49 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes! YESSSS!! It is happening, people! The dream is real! Free Clifford is inbound!

I see the money rain is going to pour down next time.

50 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Still, strength and accuracy doesn't hurt. Thanks, Artie!

I have no quarrel with you, good Sir knight, but I must cross this bridge.

(Just couldn't help myself)

52 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Aaauuuurgh...! Hoo, haa, aah...! Fuck me sideways, blistering barnacles, how bad can one be at strategy games!? The hatchet, Ruben! Couldn't you see the damned hatchet!?

OH MY GOD HATCHETS CAN ATTACK LAURENTIA

I am almost inspired to start the axe run again, but not only am I busy right now, but I want to see that I can clear that Maddening run first too.

54 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Weiss is among the most amazing bosses in the entire game. He has Vantage, which is already bad enough; Parry in case you get through the Vantage, and every single bane skill other than Arrowbane. If he were a bad person, this'd make for a pretty crazy encounter. However, here's the catch: Weiss will always use Mercy when fighting. He is not out for blood. As well as this, there's a pretty reliable strategy to take him down. See if you can guess what it is.

I think I can see it's bow's the way to go and-

WAIT A SECOND, HOW DID HE CATCH SYLVIS'S ARROW AND NOT HAVE ARROWBANE? DAMMIT BERWICK RUINING THE GAMEPLAY-STORY INTEGRATION SMH MY HEAD

56 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh wow, his sprite is absolutely badass.

I mean, I could see him fitting in in a hall of Navarres.

No red sure, but Sylvis can dye it for him.

57 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The game won't let me, Weiss. And count your lucky stars for that.

...Nah, actually, I'd still capture you even if the option to kill you was there. I do like you.

I see you respect his taste.

As both stand to the side toasting their rejection.

57 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Holy shit, she did not like that.

I'mma need to edit that Weiss.

59 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Oh, never... never mind, he's just fine! Okay, that's great, then. Guess we'll capture him another day.

...oh, for crying out loud-- Seriously!? You get a good level in the alternate timeline!? I only did this to show Weiss's death quote, you bastard! Don't do this to me!

You appreciate the game Weiss plays, I appreciate Sherlock's.

So, I said I'd finish this up last update. Anyways, I've done it. My Crapnum Opus.

(Get your music notes here)

Spoiler

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

lands lands lands lands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

lands lands land land lands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

What was that Kay?

Going back, Going back, Going back, Going back,

to the Highlands, to the Highlands,

Going back, Going back, Going back, Going back,

to the Highlands, to the Highlands,

Going back, Going back, Going back, Going back,

to the Highlands, to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

High Hi-hi-hi-Highlands

(Proceeds to run around looking for Sherpa for 15 seconds)

Tell me where is Magnard for i much desire to speak with him,

Tell me where is Magnard for i much desire to speak with him,

A false duke of the Highlands,

What was that Kay?

A false duke of the Highlands,

What was that Kay?

I'm going back to the Highlands,

Stupid fat hunter!

I'm going back to the Highlands,

Stupid fat hunter!

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

Stupid fat hunter!

Leave now and never come back!

(Back Back Back Back)

Also, the wedding was nice. Late night on the second night of partying (Why? Because they gotta I guess, I wasn't complaining), four hours of sleep, this was not the best night to be responding to you. 😛

And we are so likely to get second lockdown the way things are going.

[BrightBow]

Spoiler

 

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

His first strike is pretty cool already.

 

 

Never noticed this before but... in both animations he holds his sword in his left hand but then swings with the right. That's... unusual.
Well, technically he starts swinging with both hands and simply lets go with his left hand midway. Still an interesting choice to have him swap hands like that. In the first animation, he even has some nice frame dedicated for putting the sword back into his left hand after the strike.

Edited August 17, 2020 by BrightBow

[Hanes]

Oh boy this update was fast... well 3 days later is fast for me.

Spoiler

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You glean.

My eyes widen.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

What instinct, though?

Ze Doctor voice:
I have no idea!

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Nope. Must've been over half a decade since I last touched that one.

Oh wait how old are you again?

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

How dare you forget FE11. It's the game with Wrys in it!

I only played like up to Prolofue 3. I wish I had played FE back then. I would be so much more epic right now.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Every main mission update, perhaps?

No... I think I read it up somewhere else.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Eemotionleess Murdeereer works, too.

Eemoteeonless*

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

He didn't retreat "as it was commanded". It was commanded that he should've retreated a lot earlier. The four ballisticians in the chapter had stayed behind to protect the villagers as they made their own escape. That is punishable by death, apparently.

Bruh that's dumb as fuck.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

He carried it on his shoulder all the way back to Navarron. Why don't you try doing that, and see what happens? In lieu of Navarron, you gotta bring it to Navarra, Spain.

The argument of "Do it yourself then" is dumb, I ain't a chef but I can recognize when a food is badly cooked. Anyhow, I just say so because for being "massive" I imagien trees weigh way more. Also I think i'll give it to Navarre instead 😛 Though Navarra sounds cool.

Quote

If you look closely, you'll notice that I took my cape from Herman. Which has been the source of much jest among the readers.

I never knew...

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Dang it! That's not the game, that's my mistake. I've got a new computer, you see, a laptop this time. It's better than my old rig, but I'm still not quite used to the keyboard, so I make more typos than usual.

I... I see...

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Right, you've also missed the running gag.

That Valery is creepy? Yeah, i've seen it in other updates.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Also known as the alternative title to the game.

Hahahahahahahaha!

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

but you can't seriously tell me those maps are good, or even decent. They're shit, and that's all there is to it.

Yes and I can argue for it if I want to, but I won't

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Actually, it surprises me the amount of people who seem relunctant to take a look at other commenters' stuff. Some guys seem to think that people post public responses to the public thread so they can have a really private conversation with me that nobody else should dare to intrude on, or else.

Come now, don't be shy. Poke your nose around. You might find that some of the readers are funnier than me!

Nah that ain't it. It's just this is very time consuming as is.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

By the way, I was wrong before. The first guy Sherlock shot wasn't the gold dust guy. This is the gold dust guy.

Yeah I got confused a bit too when you said he shot the Gold Dust guy but then said "oh the gold dust guy decides to move away, Kaga knows what I'm after", not to mention before you even said the two guys above had the Gold Dust and the Health(?) Charm. So I took that as you saying you were working up to reach the gold dust guy.

Continuity error, 0/10.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Only problem is, she'd get attacked by this bastard. I need to wait for him to wait before I have Larentia advance. And wait.

That's such a good strategy! I never thought of waiting for enemies to wait so you can wait, more so because I haven't played Berwick at all.

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Oh, for fuck's sake... Check the damn inventories, Ruben!

Nooooooo! The horse!!! 😞 

Quote

Ahahahahahahahahah... A one-shot! So much power!

That's so satisfying.

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes! YESSSS!! It is happening, people! The dream is real! Free Clifford is inbound!

Clifford! Hoorray!

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

He even employed a flashbang, for extra reliability!

A positive flashbang for once!

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Still, strength and accuracy doesn't hurt. Thanks, Artie!

Way to go Arturo!

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Holy shit, she did not like that.

In a way I was expecting you would take more effort into an angery Sylvis because she's your "waifu" but I guess not.

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

In any case, that's it. I... I'm not proud of how I did that map. Too many blunders that could've easily cost Ruby her life, right at the end of the road, too... I don't think I can call this a perfect map in good conscience, after losing Ruby's Sinon Stallion in such a stupid manner. But, eh... I suppose we made it through, and that's what counts. Next time, we'll witness not one but two promotions, as well as two mercenary recruitments. We're on one hell of a roll! Look forward to next time, and I will see y'all again then. Buh-byeeeeeeeee~ and fareweeeeeeeell~!

I would say farewell and until later, but since this will be below on the next part.

Hello, I'm excited to read this update!

 

[Golb89]

[Addendums]

Spoiler

 

 

 

Also:

On 8/13/2020 at 11:33 PM, Gorgonath said:

We want to point out this hack shouls be considered suitable for +17 players/M rating. There's blood in this hack and even something more we added recently. In the near future, with the 1.1.0 version we'll also release a +13 version foe people who might be more sensitive or might feel this as out of place.

The reason why we did this is mainly to make the player empathize and "feel bad" for the units who die.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Part 52 - Critical Saga 3: The Criticizing.

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Look, let's just:

Spoiler

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

So basically, they're not addressing basic problems and are instead copy-pasting events so people put more money in their pockets for the smallest effort possible on their part.

As i said countless times already, they are NOT getting any money from this or pretty much any other questionable decision they've made so far.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Yeah, Lappland is apparently a place.

Just like Texas, for that matter.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Hint? Hint to what? It's an anime, that's all I can glean from that image.

Well, don't say i didn't warn you.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

I won't delve too much into this because, well, it's got nothing to do with me, but... from what I can see in these messages, it seems the mods made a mistake, eventually realized it and apologized to you. etc.

They took down my first post a minute after i uploaded it without even bothering checking if it was actually breaking any rule.

5 minutes later i sent them my non sarcastic message with all the evidence they needed to reapprove my post.

24 HOURS LATER my post still hadn't been reapproved, no reply to my message was given and their acticities showed they had just blatantly ignored it, so i re-uploaded my post.

1 MINUTE LATER my re-post was removed WITHOUT ANY NOTIFICATION OR EXPLANATION, which prompted me to send the first of my "sarcastic" messages, to which they replied my first post HAD JUST BEEN REAPPROVED (AGAIN, WITHOUT ANY NOTIFICATION OR OTHER SIGN OF ACKNOWLEDGEMNET) AND THUS MY REPOST WAS NOW AGAINST THE RULES: WHAT A COINCIDENCE!

Nevermind the fact they could have just, ya know, NOT reapproved the original and left the repost intact: there was NO ERROR from their part, they deliberately did that to provoke me and i fell into their trap!

As for their offer, how do you bet if i had accepted they would have banned me for breaking the rules? After all if i had been banned i would have had basically no way to prove they told me to do it themselves!

Moreover, by the time they sent me their offer i had already deleted both of my posts and re-reposted the third one: you can see there were no insults nor sarcasm when i asked them to just leave that post alone instead of, ya know, deliberately break the rules, yet their reaction was quite literally a "Lol nope: we are the law here, now get rekt!".

And i could go on for another hour about this (and A LOT MORE if i had to include my GFL ordeal too), but as i said my time is even more limited than it was before so...

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

What changed your mind? AK and GFL seem like more of the same stinking dogshit!

They aren't, not GFL at least: getting newly released units there doesn't require you to either spend real money to buy them or wait a month for them to be added to the gacha and hope the RNG lets you pull them despite abysmal odds, and it doesn't require any premium currency either.

AK isn't as generous, but at least it skips the "spend real money" part (unless you spend money to buy their premium currency, that is)

That, and maybe i was just missing my waifus (since after Google+ was shut down all Google-bound accounts on GK were basically lost)

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Then how long does it take to get up to speed without grinding?

Nothing: as i mentioned, the grinding is almost entirely optional as the game provides more than enough resources and stuff to get by without it.

Heck, i raised 150+ different units the vast majority of which i never used (and most likely never will) just because i could!

(Again, AK isn't so generous on this front, especially since unlike GFL it uses a tipical stamina/energy system to play, but eh)

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

One of these days you'll have to let me know what exactly is good about these games, seriously.

Gameplay, story (GFL only) and characters.

And stuff like this too i guess.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

2- Why is that girl's dad a cybernetic goat?

He's a wendigo, she's adopted and they are both dead now.

(Players were so convinced she would resurrect and become playable that the devs had to add a scene in the Chapter 7 to cremate her remains)

(Oh, and now Mephisto Benjamin is one of the only 3 Reunion leaders who didn't die or defected. Yet)

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

at least Wendy doesn't require you gamble to get her!

Neither does Vanilla or any other 3* for that matter.

(And unlike Wendy they don't have to gamble with RNG-based growths)

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

I think that's my favorite character in this game.

Except her actual in-game self is quite literally the opposite of that...

Then again...

... maybe.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

I don't understand, what does that have to do with poets?

Quote

 

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

How difficult can it be to swing a sledgehammer around? It may take some strength, but this girl has arms the width of my finger. Pretty sure I could do it.

This is largely irrelevant, but my character in Oblivion was an Ainmhi armed with a sledgehammer.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

You cut out the part where she goes AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Incidentally, she's apparently a princess and the only surviving member of England Victoria's royal family.

Speaking of:

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

FOR QUEEN AND CAUSE!

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

I'm not the biggest expert on Metal Gear, myself. I just said Metal Gear because, well, c'mon, look at that guy. He looks like he'd be right at home having a wrestling match with Senator Armstrong.

Well, apparently some characters are indeed inspired to MG one, most notably M16:

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

So that person's whole character is that they're Saul. Check.

Not exactly...

Also, pretty sure Saul went after every single female beside Hugh's grandma, so nope.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Good, more horny fanart. Great.

On the other hand...

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

He gets more personality in the Luigi's Mansion franchise than Mario does in the main franchise. Heck, Mario gets more personality in the Luigi's Mansion franchise than Mario does in the main franchise.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Wait, what...? Is there a random old man that's playable among the generic waifus? That cannot be, there has to be another explanation! Old men don't sell!

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

She even looks like Ruby if Ruby was in a bad gacha game!

Pretty sure Ruby isn't that stacked, among other things...

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

This one's cool as well. I dig the hoodie, too.

https://gamepress.gg/arknights/operator/matterhorn

https://gamepress.gg/arknights/operator/bison

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Horsemen! Damn those bastards... exterminate them all!

What about horsewomen?

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

...That last question is quite worrying.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

She's Hilda! The real Hilda, that is.

Well, their weapon choice matches at least.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Greythroat? That's not a good sign... Chain smoking is unhealthy, you know.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Why is everyone a pervert?

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

I mean, they are public comments.

Yes, but i can't believe anyone would bother to read both your comments AND everyone else's.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

No, not maybe. It is absolutely dreadful. How's one supposed to reply to anything when I can't write between the things?

You can just copypaste each one separately though.

 

And that'd be all for today, and most likely for the whole week too.

 

[Golb89]

[Addendum of the addendums]

Sorry for the doublepost, but i'm NOT gonna wait a whole week to post this just because the site won't let me edit my previous comment (which took literally 3 whole hours to make) after only 5 minutes (which is the time it took for the stupid captcha to load and acknowledge me as a human being) have passed since i posted it.

Spoiler

*Insert one of Ruben's units missing their attack and getting countered for alot of damage by the enemy (all in spite of RNG's odds) here*

 

And these leftovers too, because why not:

 

 

Edited August 17, 2020 by Golb89

[The Roger The Paladin]

 

Spoiler

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

How's that title for clickbait:

On the same level as this X-men story I assume. That is, I expect deaths... but nobody important. Maybe some crippling.
For the record, Mutant Massacre was a brutal story that put Nightcrawler, Colossus and Shadowcat into various forms of comas/life-support, was the first time we saw Wolverine fight Sabretooth (who had previously been an Iron-Fist foe), had Angel's wings amputated (resulting in him making a deal with Apocalypse for new ones and becoming evil for a while). Colossus, usually a gentle giant, would snap and break the neck of one of the villains after watching him mow down dozens of people for "fun". Jean Grey would accidentally kill one of the villains, and Thor would join the story and kill the guy who was tormenting Angel to save him (though as said, not his wings). The major consequence, was the hundreds of morlocks (who were honestly mostly pretty forgettable mutants who'd made their home in the New York sewer system to get away from society) getting murdered left and right. To be honest... I think about sixteen of the dead even had names.
tl;dr version: deliberate lack of specification to hide the fact no one relevant dies (unless they do in which case egg on my face) but a fun read anyway.

Spoiler

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Hey, at least this time around he's framing the pedophiles as villains, not minor troublemakers like in TRS.

Kaga undergoing a character arc.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Bully her as much as you want, but she's the only unit in the entire roster that is 100% safe from me. Faramir will be there to save her whenever I fuck up, and I'm never going to use Faramir. Everyone else could die any time.

I mean, if you never use Faramir or Volo, aren't they by definition safe from you too? Then again... I could see you killing Volo just because.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I should clarify: when I said "all better than 7", I meant the games that I played immediately after 7. You know, Binding Blade, Sacred Stones and New Mystery. Shadow Dragon is better than 7 too, but it took me a while longer to get into that one (in fact, I hadn't yet finished it when I did the FE12 LP), so I don't count it among my earliest FE experiences.

It was after Three Houses that my perception of the series as one that I unconditionally loved was challenged. I went from Three Houses to Echoes to PoR to Mystery book 1 (probably a mistake not to start with book 2). It wasn't until Radiant Dawn that I once again found a FE game that I could say was... tolerable. And, well, for me to once again claim to love a FE game... I know it'll sound sad, but the next one was Vision Quest. Not an official FE. A friggin' fangame.

Incidentally, Titus best lord. Not even kidding, that guy is an absolutely amazing protagonist. Also a green mage armor, as if he needed to be even more awesome.

Anyway, I went on a tangent. What I'm trying to say is, I may not've played 7 in years, but I still can acknowledge when games are worse than it. I have no interest in going back to 7, but if I absolutely had to, I'd definitely pick 7's painful mediocrity over Echoes's downright unfun maps and PoR's... downright unfun everything.

I feel kind of guilty for causing a well thought out paragraph with what amounted to one of my "take two quotes that contradict each other for a bad joke" bits. I know the feeling though. I used to love the Paper Mario series (hell RPG Mario games in general). Then Sticker Star happened. Then Colour Splash. I haven't even bothered to try Origami King, because I never finished the last two games, I keep literally going to sleep. I don't even think I need to explain why, because it's a horse everyone's beaten into a fine paste at this point.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

He does thirst over Zelgius pretty hard. No pun intended.

I must have missed it/glossed over it in my memory. But then again... my memories of the senators tend to be a bit glossed over here and there. I found the majority of them a tad generic. Oliver and Hetzel are the ones I remember best.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I like how that whole thing was leading up to the Brilliant Dumbass's famous line. Glorious. Never change, The Roger.

Well, it was the first thing I thought (and said, not that anyone in my family knew where it came from) when my brother told me about the story, which is a fairly recent one... and kind of takes away a bit more of the Leader's credibility, that I've felt has been waning ever since Stan Lee stopped writing him, as back then he actually was a master planner who was working an intricate scheme for global conquest instead of "I'm going to fight the Hulk again for no reason because I want to prove my brain is greater than his brawn". Sure there was an outlier in the 1980s where he took on the Hulk and the entire Avengers team at once when they ran interference with his scheme that didn't directly involve them... but otherwise he wasted all his time bashing his overly large head on the brick wall that was the Hulk. That said, having it turn out he can think himself back to life is simultaneously infuriatingly stupid (like what drugs is Al Ewing on), and hilarious... albeit because of the unintentional Martel reference.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Damn... Bagman really struck gold with his business, didn't he? Not only are bags an expensive commodity in the future, they also double as top fashion!

Ever the shrewd businessman, Bagman knew that successfully selling the bag's potential for storage was only the beginning of his empire. He branched out into the world of fashion, and took the cat-walk by storm. When Bagman finally succumbed to advanced age, his actions had become as much a cornerstone of the continent's history as any action taken by Runan or Holmes in their adventures.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

How many times has Volcens gotten played at this point?

Most likely? At least once a conversation. I bet the staff can convince him out of giving them work by appealing to his ego.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

That's quite interesting. Honestly, Alfred's offspring is bound to be a great character.

Though, she showed up with father/daughter issues that'd make Ward's look light. Mostly because Julia totally misinterpreted her mother's dying words when she was murdered.. and thought she was naming her killer... instead of hallucinating a lost love (a perception aided by the real killer, whose advances were rejected by Marie, and he saw the chance to cover his tracks by blaming Alfred) . And because Alfred didn't know that he'd had a daughter... the storyline she debuted in involved her attempting to get revenge by killing Alfred... not realizing he was her father. Fortunately, Batman was there to untangle the web of lies and half-truths spun, and get to the truth of the situation. Which lead to a few years worth of fun before the character basically got retconned out. Never to be seen or heard of again. Worse than a death, she was merely treated as never having existed. Alfred's WWII involvement became Interpol involvement... then Gulf War involvement (which I think is still the current story, but given they killed him off last year I don't know for sure, not that it matters. Last time he died he came back as a supervillain after being subject of an experiment. I'm betting he just turns into the "Outsider" again, gets cured and comes back). Then again it's a moot point. I read this morning that DC's fired all it's editorial/management staff because their parent company is in financial turmoil due to COVID. As such anything could be due to change soon.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

She'd be great friends with Dedue, no doubt.

When their support conversations are just one line repeated by each back and forth.
Actually, that'd be a favourite just because it's so dumb it's hilarious.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Nothing is safe from The Roger. He is the Punmaster.

If I were a vigilante, would I be the Punisher?

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The objective is to capture Weiss. Game over if Weiss dies. Interesting. Don't worry, though. This map won't be a RNG-fest. You'll see.

Yes... I too read Brightbow's comment.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Of course he ran first. Kaga knows what I'm after.

A Sonic reference?

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Every pirate in this map has Counter. Every one of them. Every one. And that's not all...

That runs counter to your usual gameplan of hitting them first so they don't hit back.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes! YESSSS!! It is happening, people! The dream is real! Free Clifford is inbound!

The enemy chances going forward have just dropped off a cliff.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Still, strength and accuracy doesn't hurt. Thanks, Artie!

That shouldn't hurt with the whole "missing 99% hits" bit he used to do either. I mean, he can't miss them if they're 100% instead.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Let's correct that by murdering him to death.

I love this sentence.

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Aaauuuurgh...! Hoo, haa, aah...! Fuck me sideways, blistering barnacles, how bad can one be at strategy games!? The hatchet, Ruben! Couldn't you see the damned hatchet!?

I mean, you could literally be me when I first started. "Hey, Matthew needs experience, and he can kill the boss" *misses, dies*. Why did I ever do that?

14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I'd love it if this guy could actually knock me into next week. Then I could read all the future updates and prevent any blunders I commit.

...No doubt replacing them with new ones...

Or it'd be like that old chestnut story where a gypsy fortune teller informed a rich-man he'd die from fall on a specific day at a specific time. So, he tied himself to the ground on the ground floor of his house. Then the chandelier's chain broke at that hour. You know how many variations I've read of that?

15 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Nah, actually, I'd still capture you even if the option to kill you was there. I do like you.

Didn't you threaten to kill him last time he tried to flirt with Sylvis?

15 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oho! He really went there!

I'm still convinced this isn't an act at all, and he legit has a thing for her.

15 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

All right, the time has come to capture Weiss. I could give Weiss to anyone, but I want to do it with Sylvis because it's appropriate. To that end, Sylvis hands over a couple things so she doesn't have to drop anything.

Plus, I'm sure he'd be into it.

15 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

They really are made for each other, hahah.

I guess this was the perfect map for "Shipping".

 

 

[Golb89]

On 8/17/2020 at 5:03 AM, Golb89 said:

And that'd be all for today, and most likely for the whole week too.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1o9nnzKFDWamngwsUeLn3JNLj9B29iHkB/view

 

[Addendum of the addendum of the addendums]

Spoiler

* Insert Burroughs stealing kills and then leaving here *

 

* Insert anti-armor weapons here *

* Or magic i guess *

 

On 8/17/2020 at 5:03 AM, Golb89 said:

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

So basically, they're not addressing basic problems and are instead copy-pasting events so people put more money in their pockets for the smallest effort possible on their part.

As i said countless times already, they are NOT getting any money from this or pretty much any other questionable decision they've made so far.

Also, i kinda hate to admit it, but redoing the exact same event while being MUCH stronger than last time feels incredibly satisfying...

 

On 8/17/2020 at 5:03 AM, Golb89 said:

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

I think that's my favorite character in this game.

Except her actual in-game self is quite literally the opposite of that...

On second thought...

... she might actually be just like that.

 

On 8/17/2020 at 5:03 AM, Golb89 said:

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

So that person's whole character is that they're Saul. Check.

Not exactly...

Sequel of these:

Maybe.

Also:

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Why is everyone a pervert?

Oh, you've seen nothing yet...

 

And now i'm really done till the end of my vacation.

Maybe.

Edited August 19, 2020 by Golb89

[Saint Rubenio]

Part 55 - A dad to surpass Gilbert.

I wonder:

Spoiler

On 8/16/2020 at 11:39 PM, BrightBow said:

  Hide contents

For like one turn or two. It only got D durability.

Well, it's something at least.

And another victim of Axel's chronic need for loot and pillaging.

...Now, be honest: are you trying to make me hate you? Because it's working Nah not really, just messing with you

It's more like the Sea Mice belong to those waves.
You know, because you will all die here like rats. *rimshot*

You know what else will make you sleep easier?
Death!
*rimshot*

Good ones, good ones.

Oh right, Sherlock. Nevermind.

Ever the disappointment. But at least he doesn't require you pick him over two amazing units, like say Luca.

Well, besides those with throwing axes.

Yes, that... could've been bad.

So loot and EXP it is then? How generous.

These pirates are the best!

Hmmm, probably should say "We're here."

Good point, I'll send Aethin a message.

Ending your turn in Aim range of someone with a Gatling Bow? I get wanting to get close to Sylvis, but still...

Everyone wants a piece of Sylvis. Sadly, all they ever get is her piece. As in, gun.

I think you mistake Sylvis for Raquel. She killed plenty of people.

But then again, whoever wrote this chapter seems to have made the same mixup. Sylvis has a no-kill policy? Didn't notice that when she mowed down dozens of Bornian fools back in chapter 5.

I think she's supposed to have a no-kill policy with her bounty targets. She also spared Griff way back when, remember? She just wants the doubled reward. It's the generic mooks she doesn't care about.

Doesn't he also have a separate quote when it's Sylvis who arrows his head?

Hmmm... Let me check...

Nope. It's the same mistranslated death quote.

Not bad for a palette swap of Lebough.

Hah! He really is.

He is missing some animations, though. Like, I think he has no dodge animation. Which is kinda funny given how good he is at dodging.

He's so good, he doesn't need to move. He just gives people a glare and they're unable to focus.

 

 

On 8/16/2020 at 11:56 PM, Pengaius said:

I was so happy when I saw the title, but alas, horses don't get death puns. 

Hah! Well, you're out of luck, I'm afraid. I'd wish you better luck next time, but I'd be lying. I'd rather we got through this without any further casualties. Too much to ask, I know, but...

 

On 8/17/2020 at 12:21 AM, Dayni said:

  Hide contents

  Two things: First, I didn't say that about your sprite that often.

Hmph... Enough times!

Second, Numida's is too wide to be the square it has to be to be a pencil moustache. I stand by that statement that it was certainly not one while your previous one was much closer.

It was the width of my mouth! That was the point, my mouth was just small in that sprite!

I mean, you can read my reaction to that late game if you want.

It's in my sig.

Hmmm, so you really liked it, did you? Interesting. Well, I can at least say I didn't hate it, which is more than a good few FEs can say. First part was great, second part was good. Every chapter with the Dawn Brigade was good, excluding the part 4 desert. And I think Pelleas may be one of my favorite characters in the series. I almost would like to replay the game so I could save him. But, alas... I cannot stand the last two parts. At least in part 4 I can use bad units to break the monotony. Part 3 can be summed up as "Ike and his overpowered cronies kill things while I desperately struggle not to fall asleep." But at least in this game I can only use that summary for two parts, not the whole game, like PoR.

There you may also find me screaming at Sothe and Michiah's relationship, asking if Tibarn and Nailah would do it, shrugging my shoulders at Oliver and actually having Mist fight.

Tibarn and Nailah? You kiddin' me? Nailah and Rafiel for life, you fool! As for Sothe, he can have a threesome with Ike and Soren.

I was thinking the shopkeepers specifically, discounting the atelier.

Ah, I see... Well, it's true Reiss and Pejj haven't gotten much, but at this point Bluck has, like, three different backstories, which is pretty damn great for a shopkeep NPC.

Especially the men have this issue, considering what some of the women have gotten it's kinda frustrating just what they've gotten though.

I mean, Cecily's arc consists of her missing the blatant red flags that are stuck up Lane's posterior. It's... an unfortunate arc to have.

I mean, she was far away from Reese's eyes in that scene and appreciates Bernard more, especially because he's on Berwick Island Prison Resort.

Berwick Island Prison Resort.

I love this. Just wanted to acknowledge that.

She can do both.

Hmmm... Okay, fair enough.

I mean, if the racist Judgrali had a bullion for each time they ruined a continent by migrating there they'd have two bullions.

Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it's happened twice.

It may not sound like a lot, but considering the effects they cause, it's definitely a lot.

I mean, at least he didn't lose an arm. You were saying Magnard should have gone for Sherpa's shoulder and if it had gone wrong......

I wasn't even trying to make a Berserk reference and I did anyway.

Ahhhhh, I got it.

Well, then go for, I don't know, the pinky or something! Considering Magnard didn't truly have any ill will towards Sherpa, going for the eye was a huge dickmove!

I'm not going to lie, Aethin had the whole thing where there was the categories of nations under the league and I kinda wish more was done with that to specify how they all relate to one another in game and who's more autonomous.

Yeah, it would've been a cool thing to see. Oh, well.

I mean I'd get it if it was Sherpa she was wanting to bang regardless of her sexuality.

Ahahahahahahahah... Why, because you can relate, is that it?

I can't, I prefer Owen

Who was the next less useless Superfriend? That's the twins and Aquaman covered.

Well, there's one more "hero of" title in this game. But we won't see that one for a long, long time.

AW SHIT IT'S GOING DOWN

(The link is for everyone, the line is for me.)

I think I get it. The song is about a boat, and the map takes place in a boat!

Reincarnation confirmed?

Maybe, maybe. Though I don't think there's a Dolharken equivalent in this game, sadly...

That's kinda neat.

And of course there'd be a way, Kaga had to make sure not to accidentally screw over the player in this game.

He was actually trying to make a good game this time around.

Brilliant.

Just, absolutely sublime.

Thanks Kaga, I hate it

(Yeets anyone who says Kaga did good boat maps)

Consider me yeeted, because this is actually a fine boat map. Sure, everyone has Counter, but they're not aggressive unless you get in their way. You can be strategic about it and take them down from afar. As far as Berwick bullshit goes, this is on the low end of the spectrum.

Pirate with axe attacks, ends up dropping weapon.

Is this the guy inflicting confusion on himself?

Hahah, that's one way to look at it.

What is this mad lad doing here?

An infantry unit with canto.

Kaga here breaking all the boundaries.

FUCK THIS GAME

I would fuck Berwick Saga if it were a woman.

...Hey, haven't I made this joke already?

RIP good horse.

And also the horse Arthur came on.

Seriously, horses and water do not mix, why does media do things with water horses?

They weren't even in the water. Just neck-deep in incompetence. My incompetence.

I see the money rain is going to pour down next time.

In a way, yes.

I have no quarrel with you, good Sir knight, but I must cross this bridge.

(Just couldn't help myself)

I understood that reference! Somehow!

OH MY GOD HATCHETS CAN ATTACK

Yep. All range 1 can attack Larentia. Of course hatchets are included. And here's the fun part: hatchets have crit.

LAURENTIA

Also, Larentia joins Bernstol's club. So far, it's the two of them, Volcens, Abus and Erzheimer. More to come, no doubt.

I am almost inspired to start the axe run again, but not only am I busy right now, but I want to see that I can clear that Maddening run first too.

In the meantime, you can pray for Axel's safety.

I think I can see it's bow's the way to go and-

WAIT A SECOND, HOW DID HE CATCH SYLVIS'S ARROW AND NOT HAVE ARROWBANE? DAMMIT BERWICK RUINING THE GAMEPLAY-STORY INTEGRATION SMH MY HEAD

Sadly, Kaga was at an impasse in this situation. Either force gameplay-story integration and make this fight a living hell, or break it to ensure the encounter was fair. Dunno about you, but I'm glad he picked the latter option.

I mean, I could see him fitting in in a hall of Navarres.

No red sure, but Sylvis can dye it for him.

Hwahahahahahah... I like how everyone except me is bullying Weiss. How unexpected.

I see you respect his taste.

What can I say, can't fault the man for the woman she likes. Even if she was his downfall.

As both stand to the side toasting their rejection.

Hush, now

I'mma need to edit that Weiss.

You go on ahead and do just that.

You appreciate the game Weiss plays, I appreciate Sherlock's.

Fuckin' son of a bitch needs a reminder that I'm in control of his life...

So, I said I'd finish this up last update. Anyways, I've done it. My Crapnum Opus.

(Get your music notes here)

Ohhh, we got another musician in town! It shall be the fight of the ages.

  Hide contents

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

lands lands lands lands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

lands lands land land lands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

What was that Kay?

Going back, Going back, Going back, Going back,

to the Highlands, to the Highlands,

Going back, Going back, Going back, Going back,

to the Highlands, to the Highlands,

Going back, Going back, Going back, Going back,

to the Highlands, to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

High Hi-hi-hi-Highlands

(Proceeds to run around looking for Sherpa for 15 seconds)

Tell me where is Magnard for i much desire to speak with him,

Tell me where is Magnard for i much desire to speak with him,

A false duke of the Highlands,

What was that Kay?

A false duke of the Highlands,

What was that Kay?

I'm going back to the Highlands,

Stupid fat hunter!

I'm going back to the Highlands,

Stupid fat hunter!

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

I'm going back to the Highlands,

Stupid fat hunter!

Leave now and never come back!

(Back Back Back Back)

Going back to the Highlands/10.

Also, the wedding was nice. Late night on the second night of partying (Why? Because they gotta I guess, I wasn't complaining), four hours of sleep, this was not the best night to be responding to you. 😛

Pah... I never get invited to parties.

Not that I ever have any fun when I do attend to parties. I'm afraid I am quite the sad individual.

And we are so likely to get second lockdown the way things are going.

Oof... Here in Spain as well.

 

On 8/17/2020 at 3:08 AM, BrightBow said:

Never noticed this before but... in both animations he holds his sword in his left hand but then swings with the right. That's... unusual.
Well, technically he starts swinging with both hands and simply lets go with his left hand midway. Still an interesting choice to have him swap hands like that. In the first animation, he even has some nice frame dedicated for putting the sword back into his left hand after the strike.

I mean, Sylvis shoots crossbows one-handed. They both just like to inconvenience themselves for the sake of flair.

 

On 8/17/2020 at 3:37 AM, This boi uses Nino said:

Oh boy this update was fast... well 3 days later is fast for me.

I've slowed down a bit, but that was my pace for, like, the first four chapters of the game or so.

  Hide contents

My eyes widen.

Your vision captures.

Ze Doctor voice:
I have no idea!

Now that is one reference I can dig.

Oh wait how old are you again?

21. I've been playing FE since I was 16. I think. I haven't kept any records, I'm afraid.

I only played like up to Prolofue 3. I wish I had played FE back then. I would be so much more epic right now.

Everyone would be more epic if they played more FE.

No... I think I read it up somewhere else.

Well, go ahead and take the credit away from me, then! It's not like I want it or anything!

Eemoteeonless*

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Bruh that's dumb as fuck.

Yes. But he's the boss, so he can do whatever he wants. Who's going to tell him to straighten up his act? Volcens? Please.

The argument of "Do it yourself then" is dumb, I ain't a chef but I can recognize when a food is badly cooked.

I know that, but in this case it works, because carrying 50 KG is one thing, carrying 50 KG while running out of a battlefield and fighting off enemy soldiers is another.

Anyhow, I just say so because for being "massive" I imagien trees weigh way more. Also I think i'll give it to Navarre instead 😛 Though Navarra sounds cool.

I think I was to Navarra once. It's a cute enough city, I suppose.

I never knew...

Well now you do, and you may join the rest of the readers in taking the piss out of me by comparing me to Herman.

I... I see...

Must we start this already? We already have one chain going.

That Valery is creepy? Yeah, i've seen it in other updates.

Okay, good. But you missed the reason for the gag. That's in... update 4, maybe? Updates 2 and 4. That's where you'll find the context for this.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Heheh!

Yes and I can argue for it if I want to, but I won't

How? "The maps are beatable, thus they're not bad"? I am genuinely curious as to how a person could possibly defend these maps in any way other than "they're bad but I'm not bothered by it." Which, hey, fair enough, but the maps are still bad.

Nah that ain't it. It's just this is very time consuming as is.

Ahhh, I get it.

Yeah I got confused a bit too when you said he shot the Gold Dust guy but then said "oh the gold dust guy decides to move away, Kaga knows what I'm after", not to mention before you even said the two guys above had the Gold Dust and the Health(?) Charm. So I took that as you saying you were working up to reach the gold dust guy.

Continuity error, 0/10.

Forgive me.

That's such a good strategy! I never thought of waiting for enemies to wait so you can wait, more so because I haven't played Berwick at all.

It's the little things you get used to when you start to get the hang of this game.

Nooooooo! The horse!!! 😞 

R.I.P.

That's so satisfying.

Believe you me, I enjoyed it a lot. Maybe even more than I should've. One-shots in this game are just... so rare, unless you're using a skill like Pulverize or Battle Cry.

Clifford! Hoorray!

Deadbeat dad, hurrah!

A positive flashbang for once!

Which he proceeded to squander by missing.

Way to go Arturo!

Three cheers for my man Artie!

In a way I was expecting you would take more effort into an angery Sylvis because she's your "waifu" but I guess not.

I'll be entirely forthcoming with you: I couldn't do it. With all that hair in the way, this was the best I could come up with. I'm no artist, I can handle editing faces semi-decently, but Sylvis is out of my league.

...Uh... In more ways than one, I suppose.

I would say farewell and until later, but since this will be below on the next part.

Hello, I'm excited to read this update!

Hi there! I'm happy to have you!

 

 

On 8/17/2020 at 5:03 AM, Golb89 said:

[Addendums]

  Hide contents

 

 

So today you just felt like being a dick to that girl? Okay.

Also:

You've linked this one before. It looks cool, but I've got other things to play right now.

 

  Hide contents

As i said countless times already, they are NOT getting any money from this or pretty much any other questionable decision they've made so far.

That doesn't really excuse them. Incompetent people can still be greedy, they're just bad at fulfilling that greed. If they weren't greedy, they wouldn't be making a gacha. Though maybe I'm just generalizing, and some people make gachas out of love for the genre. The genre that consists of taking people's money through a thinly-veiled gambling system that attempts to bypass age restrictions so as to exploit children.

...Sorry. It's just, talking about gachas gets me all negative, and it's all you ever talk about, so... I'm bound to reply to you with a lot of negativity. Forgive me.

Just like Texas, for that matter.

Oh, really? I was not aware.

Well, don't say i didn't warn you.

...Not gonna lie. That looks like the kind of anime that's part of the reason I don't take anime all too seriously. I prefer my shows when they're not obsessed with boobies, thank you very much, and... well, not all animes are like entirely about that, but... goddamn, I've only seen one single anime that doesn't ever have a cringe fanservice moment. One. One! Every single anime I've ever seen or heard about except for ONE has at least a few dumb sexy moments somewhere in there! Why!? Why is that necessary?!

They took down my first post a minute after i uploaded it without even bothering checking if it was actually breaking any rule.

5 minutes later i sent them my non sarcastic message with all the evidence they needed to reapprove my post.

24 HOURS LATER my post still hadn't been reapproved, no reply to my message was given and their acticities showed they had just blatantly ignored it, so i re-uploaded my post.

1 MINUTE LATER my re-post was removed WITHOUT ANY NOTIFICATION OR EXPLANATION, which prompted me to send the first of my "sarcastic" messages, to which they replied my first post HAD JUST BEEN REAPPROVED (AGAIN, WITHOUT ANY NOTIFICATION OR OTHER SIGN OF ACKNOWLEDGEMNET) AND THUS MY REPOST WAS NOW AGAINST THE RULES: WHAT A COINCIDENCE!

Nevermind the fact they could have just, ya know, NOT reapproved the original and left the repost intact: there was NO ERROR from their part, they deliberately did that to provoke me and i fell into their trap!

As for their offer, how do you bet if i had accepted they would have banned me for breaking the rules? After all if i had been banned i would have had basically no way to prove they told me to do it themselves!

Moreover, by the time they sent me their offer i had already deleted both of my posts and re-reposted the third one: you can see there were no insults nor sarcasm when i asked them to just leave that post alone instead of, ya know, deliberately break the rules, yet their reaction was quite literally a "Lol nope: we are the law here, now get rekt!".

And i could go on for another hour about this (and A LOT MORE if i had to include my GFL ordeal too), but as i said my time is even more limited than it was before so...

Okay, you're assuming a lot of stuff here (like, I don't understand - what reason could the mods possibly have to be out to get you so hard that they'd bend their own rules to ban you? Did you shag their sisters or what?), but as I said before, this is none of my business. I've no desire to argue with you over this. Maybe the mods were wrong, maybe you were wrong, maybe both parties were wrong. I don't know, and I can't do anything about it, anyway.

...Besides, I can think of worse fates than being banned from the Arknights subreddit, of all places. But that's just me, obviously. I'm the guy with less than 1000 karma in Reddit. What even is that good for, anyway...?

They aren't, not GFL at least: getting newly released units there doesn't require you to either spend real money to buy them or wait a month for them to be added to the gacha and hope the RNG lets you pull them despite abysmal odds, and it doesn't require any premium currency either.

Wait, then why do you describe it as a gacha? Either it is a gacha or it isn't, but you can't tell me it's a gacha only to then reveal that you can just... get the units no problem. That's not how gachas work!

AK isn't as generous, but at least it skips the "spend real money" part (unless you spend money to buy their premium currency, that is)

...This, on the other hand, is classic gacha. No, it doesn't "skip" the real money part. Just because you can technically get units for free doesn't change that they're so inconvenient to get that the kids and the gullible fans are tricked into spending the money anyway. That's the gacha trap.

That, and maybe i was just missing my waifus (since after Google+ was shut down all Google-bound accounts on GK were basically lost)

That's another gacha trap. The waifus.

Nothing: as i mentioned, the grinding is almost entirely optional as the game provides more than enough resources and stuff to get by without it.

Heck, i raised 150+ different units the vast majority of which i never used (and most likely never will) just because i could!

(Again, AK isn't so generous on this front, especially since unlike GFL it uses a tipical stamina/energy system to play, but eh)

All right, so far, it seems like GFL might be... redeemable. Maybe. Just maybe.

AK still seems like absolute garbage, though.

Gameplay, story (GFL only) and characters.

Well, can't judge you there.

And stuff like this too i guess.

I don't get it.

He's a wendigo, she's adopted and they are both dead now.

A wendigo!? The only time I've ever heard that name is Until Dawn, so... Jesus, who did this girl eat?

Quite dramatic for a game where half the characters walk around with half their boobs exposed to the elements. A bit difficult to take things seriously when the designs are like that, no?

(Players were so convinced she would resurrect and become playable that the devs had to add a scene in the Chapter 7 to cremate her remains)

Hah! The power of fanboyism.

(Oh, and now Mephisto Benjamin is one of the only 3 Reunion leaders who didn't die or defected. Yet)

I knew I liked him for a reason! Go Benjamin!

Neither does Vanilla or any other 3* for that matter.

(And unlike Wendy they don't have to gamble with RNG-based growths)

Are you... Are you seriously implying that gambling with RNG-based growths is worse than gacha gambling, which demands limited resources that you have to get with real money if you run out?

...Please... don't do this to me...!

Though, I suppose according to you GFL is a gacha that isn't a gacha. And I don't care enough about the game to find out for myself. So I'll take you at your word and assume that GFL is good after all. Not that it'll get me to waste my time with it. Or to quit being such a negative jerk. I can tell you right now, the most positive thing you're going to get me to say about these games is "I tolerate that they exist."

Except her actual in-game self is quite literally the opposite of that...

Disappointed.

......

DISAPPOINTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED

Then again...

Wait, where's the dad joke here?

... maybe.

That's not even a joke, it's the truth!

 

This is largely irrelevant, but my character in Oblivion was an Ainmhi armed with a sledgehammer.

Here is my Oblivion character.

I call him My Guy. I spent the entire playthrough roleplaying as a hopeless drunk that stole every bottle of booze I laid eyes on, and a kleptomaniac that pickpocketed everyone in sight. I somehow ended up becoming the new Prince of Madness.

...it was such a fun run. One day I should actually try to finish the game. I left Brother Sean Bean at the mountain temple place and then got sidetracked with sidequests until I got bored of the game. It tends to happen to me when I play open-ended games. I can never be bothered to finish the main quests.

Incidentally, she's apparently a princess and the only surviving member of England Victoria's royal family.

What?!

Speaking of:

Why in the world...?

Well, apparently some characters are indeed inspired to MG one, most notably M16:

Interesting. Looks like I was right on the money.

Not exactly...

Also, pretty sure Saul went after every single female beside Hugh's grandma, so nope.

Correction: He tried. Cecilia handled him like a boss, Dorothy almost shot him, and he failed so hard with Elen and Igrene that he accidentally gave them solid advice like a good priest would and ended up improving their lives, but lost the chance to get lucky with them.

On the other hand...

1- Wait, what's the joke here? That girl is, like, one of the few ones with a buttoned shirt. Why would she need a button? Give it to the blond girl with the beret, she has half her boobs sticking out!

2- Oh God, it's genderbent Lane. She even looks the part...! Gwaaah!

Indeed, indeed.

Seriously, I can scarcely believe this non-fanservicey design exists in the games you like. Normally is more like... Well, you know. Shit.

Pretty sure Ruby isn't that stacked, among other things...

Yes. Another difference is that Ruby's not in a bad gacha, she's in a good strategy game.

...sorry.

https://gamepress.gg/arknights/operator/matterhorn

https://gamepress.gg/arknights/operator/bison

The dad jokes have been defeated!

What about horsewomen?

Death! Death to all! Horsemen, horsewomen and horsechildren! Slaughter them like animals, before they can raze my villages!

Now that's just depressing. The original fairy tale was so depressing, too...

Well, their weapon choice matches at least.

Right? Though I doubt that one is quite so... well-spoken as Hilda.

Yes, I remember my dad doing something similar when he quit smoking. How anyone can get into that is beyond me. All you get is bad breath and 20 less years to live. What the hell is the benefit to smoking? Relaxing? There have to be better ways to relax that don't give you fuckin' cancer.

At least the other drugs make you see funny things. There's a point. Smoking just... kills you and that's about it. And yet that's the legal drug. This world is so shitty sometimes...

How dare you throw a thinly-veiled insult at me, you... you... gacha lover!

Yes, but i can't believe anyone would bother to read both your comments AND everyone else's.

Some people are real dedicated.

You can just copypaste each one separately though.

Too much effort. I'd rather complain.

 

And that'd be all for today, and most likely for the whole week too.

I hope you're having fun in your vacation!

On 8/17/2020 at 5:16 AM, Golb89 said:

[Addendum of the addendums]

Sorry for the doublepost, but i'm NOT gonna wait a whole week to post this just because the site won't let me edit my previous comment (which took literally 3 whole hours to make) after only 5 minutes (which is the time it took for the stupid captcha to load and acknowledge me as a human being) have passed since i posted it.

Okay, you go ahead.

  Hide contents

*Insert one of Ruben's units missing their attack and getting countered for alot of damage by the enemy (all in spite of RNG's odds) here*

Ouch.

And these leftovers too, because why not:

I like the horribly edited blood in the first one. Makes me feel better about my own blood.

Also, how'd he get the crab if crabs in this universe have guns?

 

 

On 8/17/2020 at 1:23 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

 

  Hide contents

On the same level as this X-men story I assume. That is, I expect deaths... but nobody important. Maybe some crippling.
For the record, Mutant Massacre was a brutal story that put Nightcrawler, Colossus and Shadowcat into various forms of comas/life-support, was the first time we saw Wolverine fight Sabretooth (who had previously been an Iron-Fist foe), had Angel's wings amputated (resulting in him making a deal with Apocalypse for new ones and becoming evil for a while). Colossus, usually a gentle giant, would snap and break the neck of one of the villains after watching him mow down dozens of people for "fun". Jean Grey would accidentally kill one of the villains, and Thor would join the story and kill the guy who was tormenting Angel to save him (though as said, not his wings). The major consequence, was the hundreds of morlocks (who were honestly mostly pretty forgettable mutants who'd made their home in the New York sewer system to get away from society) getting murdered left and right. To be honest... I think about sixteen of the dead even had names.
tl;dr version: deliberate lack of specification to hide the fact no one relevant dies (unless they do in which case egg on my face) but a fun read anyway.

I can see how that'd be a little underwhelming. But hey, at least some of them had names. Bet they're someone out there's favorite characters.

Though, in my case, I think this is the first time in my LPs that I've used a title that implied death and then nobody died.

Kaga undergoing a character arc.

I am so proud of him. By next game he might drop the rapists entirely.

Spoiler alert: he did not. But I do think there's less of them, so... victory?

I mean, if you never use Faramir or Volo, aren't they by definition safe from you too?

Don't say that too loud.

Then again... I could see you killing Volo just because.

Yeah... He better watch his step.

I feel kind of guilty for causing a well thought out paragraph with what amounted to one of my "take two quotes that contradict each other for a bad joke" bits.

Please don't. You know I love ranting.

I know the feeling though. I used to love the Paper Mario series (hell RPG Mario games in general). Then Sticker Star happened. Then Colour Splash. I haven't even bothered to try Origami King, because I never finished the last two games, I keep literally going to sleep. I don't even think I need to explain why, because it's a horse everyone's beaten into a fine paste at this point.

Yes, exactly. After 3H, Echoes and PoR, I'm going to have to think twice before I get a FE game. They're not safe games any more, for me. In fact, I think the best case scenario for me would be a remake of FE6. FE4's maps don't inspire me with confidence (especially since Echoes made no effort to fix Gaiden's shitty map design), and a brand new FE would just be risking a repeat of the Three Houses situation. FE6, at least, is a game I really like, so to see a version of it with the flaws ironed out would be great.

I must have missed it/glossed over it in my memory. But then again... my memories of the senators tend to be a bit glossed over here and there. I found the majority of them a tad generic. Oliver and Hetzel are the ones I remember best.

Lekain was at least effective as a main-ish villain. The rest were just... bleh.

Well, it was the first thing I thought (and said, not that anyone in my family knew where it came from) when my brother told me about the story, which is a fairly recent one... and kind of takes away a bit more of the Leader's credibility, that I've felt has been waning ever since Stan Lee stopped writing him, as back then he actually was a master planner who was working an intricate scheme for global conquest instead of "I'm going to fight the Hulk again for no reason because I want to prove my brain is greater than his brawn". Sure there was an outlier in the 1980s where he took on the Hulk and the entire Avengers team at once when they ran interference with his scheme that didn't directly involve them... but otherwise he wasted all his time bashing his overly large head on the brick wall that was the Hulk. That said, having it turn out he can think himself back to life is simultaneously infuriatingly stupid (like what drugs is Al Ewing on), and hilarious... albeit because of the unintentional Martel reference.

If Martel had that ability, I might've thought differently of him. That would've explained why his plan was so bad: he didn't care, because he knew he couldn't die. Alas, that was not the case.

Ever the shrewd businessman, Bagman knew that successfully selling the bag's potential for storage was only the beginning of his empire. He branched out into the world of fashion, and took the cat-walk by storm. When Bagman finally succumbed to advanced age, his actions had become as much a cornerstone of the continent's history as any action taken by Runan or Holmes in their adventures.

Heck, how many people actually know about Holmes's adventures? Runan had a hand in ending the war with Canaan (though he'd have to share the glory with Sennet), but Holmes spent the whole game fucking about the continent wasting his time. He probably wasn't remembered as much of anything. Bagman, on the other hand, was the most important entrepeneur in the history of Lieberia's economy. He shaped the future! All Holmes shaped were Eugen's knuckles, when he bruised them slightly by punching the dumbass's thick skull!

Most likely? At least once a conversation. I bet the staff can convince him out of giving them work by appealing to his ego.

"Come now, Your Majesty. I could never hope to wipe the toilets as gracefully as yourself! You are the pride of Veria, King Volcens! I am certain if you tried, you'd do ten times the work I could in far less time!"

"Hmmm... Very well. I shall wipe the toilets. Truly, I have to do everything myself..."

Herman facepalms in the background

Though, she showed up with father/daughter issues that'd make Ward's look light. Mostly because Julia totally misinterpreted her mother's dying words when she was murdered.. and thought she was naming her killer... instead of hallucinating a lost love (a perception aided by the real killer, whose advances were rejected by Marie, and he saw the chance to cover his tracks by blaming Alfred) . And because Alfred didn't know that he'd had a daughter... the storyline she debuted in involved her attempting to get revenge by killing Alfred... not realizing he was her father. Fortunately, Batman was there to untangle the web of lies and half-truths spun, and get to the truth of the situation. Which lead to a few years worth of fun before the character basically got retconned out. Never to be seen or heard of again. Worse than a death, she was merely treated as never having existed. Alfred's WWII involvement became Interpol involvement... then Gulf War involvement (which I think is still the current story, but given they killed him off last year I don't know for sure, not that it matters. Last time he died he came back as a supervillain after being subject of an experiment. I'm betting he just turns into the "Outsider" again, gets cured and comes back). Then again it's a moot point. I read this morning that DC's fired all it's editorial/management staff because their parent company is in financial turmoil due to COVID. As such anything could be due to change soon.

That... sounds like stories going on forward might suck hard.

When their support conversations are just one line repeated by each back and forth.
Actually, that'd be a favourite just because it's so dumb it's hilarious.

I mean, have you read Dorothy and Shin's support? C and B are literally just Dorothy being too socially awkward to talk to Shin.

If I were a vigilante, would I be the Punisher?

Yes. I could not imagine a better moniker for you. Except, of course, The Roger The Paladin.

Maybe The Roger The Punladin?

Yes... I too read Brightbow's comment.

Ah... Oh, well. There you have it, then.

A Sonic reference?

No, not really. My knowledge of Sonic is quite limited.

That runs counter to your usual gameplan of hitting them first so they don't hit back.

Hah!

The enemy chances going forward have just dropped off a cliff.

Ahahah... They will drop off a cliff once he charges them with a lance.

That shouldn't hurt with the whole "missing 99% hits" bit he used to do either. I mean, he can't miss them if they're 100% instead.

That is true.

I love this sentence.

Heheh, I'm glad.

I mean, you could literally be me when I first started. "Hey, Matthew needs experience, and he can kill the boss" *misses, dies*. Why did I ever do that?

Hey, it's not that embarrassing. My memories of my first FE run ever are diffuse at best, but I distinctly remember Oswin running out of weapons and, instead of giving him new ones, I just used him as an unarmed meatshield.

Or it'd be like that old chestnut story where a gypsy fortune teller informed a rich-man he'd die from fall on a specific day at a specific time. So, he tied himself to the ground on the ground floor of his house. Then the chandelier's chain broke at that hour. You know how many variations I've read of that?

Ahahahahahahahahah... That's hilarious in a morbid way.

Didn't you threaten to kill him last time he tried to flirt with Sylvis?

It was all in good fun. I mean, I'm the same guy who threatens each and every one of you every update.

I'm still convinced this isn't an act at all, and he legit has a thing for her.

Better ways to go about it than provoking her into shooting an arrow into his leg.

...I-I guess...

Plus, I'm sure he'd be into it.

Hah!

I guess this was the perfect map for "Shipping".

Better than the multiple rapist maps, for sure.

 

 

On 8/18/2020 at 12:59 PM, Golb89 said:

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/12Pe2sTAcRDo_5-NraQ1quOmhZEcWlonw

Oh boy.

[Addendum of the addendum of the addendums]

  Hide contents

* Insert Burroughs stealing kills and then leaving here *

That's... interesting...

* Insert anti-armor weapons here *

* Or magic i guess *

Ouch...

What...?

Awwww the cat's so cute tho, even if I don't understand it...

 

Also, i kinda hate to admit it, but redoing the exact same event while being MUCH stronger than last time feels incredibly satisfying...

I guess that's fair enough...

On second thought...

... she might actually be just like that.

I'll take your word for it.

Sequel of these:

Maybe.

What a riveting plotline.

Also:

I don't think I will join, no. Penguins are cool, but I don't think I'd belong there.

 

And now i'm really done till the end of my vacation.

Maybe.

Have fun in your vacation! ...again!

 

What's for dinner:

Spoiler

Last time, Sylvis accomplished her hopes and dreams. Today, we'll watch as her hopes and dreams are shattered.

Well, you did go through all the trouble to catch me yourself. I might as well oblige you.

Don't patronize me! Are you saying you let yourself get caught on purpose?

Does it really matter at this point?

It does to me!

......

You know, I hate to admit it, but he's coming across as the more mature individual in this exchange...

...All right, guards. Take me away...

No! This conversation isn't over!

That may be, but I don't have anything more to say...

Routh, what will happen to Weiss, now that he's been captured?

It's up to the judge, of course, but considering all the grief he's caused, I'm sure he'll go to the gallows.

Ah yes, I'm sure that family he saved from starvation will be thrilled. Thanks, Sylvis.

......

......

...So, you finally caught Weiss. This is what you wanted, isn't it? All your wishes have come true...

......

Say something, damn it!

...I don't know... Yes, my goal was to capture Weiss, and I've finally done that... But...

......

...Let me tell you something that Weiss said to me a few days ago.

A few days ago, the Berwick programmers screwed up and used Lebough's white-jacketed sprite for past-Weiss.

Weiss, who is that young girl who is always pursuing you?

Also, the other day Shaiah claimed to have "always hated" Sylvis, and yet she apparently didn't know who she was until "a few days ago." Quite the intense hatred for somebody you've never even spoken to. Also, how did Sylvis even recognize her at the tavern...?

Young girl...? Ah, you mean Sylvis! She's a bounty hunter.

A bounty hunter? Shouldn't you deal with her before she makes a mess of things?

She's quite persistent, and it seems she refuses to settle for anything less than bringing me in alive. Honestly, it's been quite fun, playing this cat-and-mouse game.

But still...

I've been marked as an outlaw for a long time, and I've dealt with more bounty hunters than I can count. They try for a while, but eventually, they all get tire and quit once they decide I'm not worth the trouble.

 I mean, if you go around grabbing people's arrows out of the air... No wonder they nope the fuck out!

You think so?

...I do.

But she doesn't know the true you. Not like I do... The world believes you're just like any other pirate, but I know better. You saved me from those foul men who killed my parents, and my brother, and my sister... If you hadn't saved me from those pirates, I wouldn't be here...

As long as you and the rest of the crew know me... I can be happy with that. It's not like I'm trying to win anyone over with what I do. We have no regard for the law. We take money from others, and sometimes, we even take lives...

But...

Our actions take a toll on others, and there may come a time when I have to pay for what I've done.

Perhaps the time has come for me to face the consequences of my actions...

You don't want to end up in the Narvian dungeon, man. They'll forget about you and you'll serve your sentence forever.

Weiss, don't say things like that!

Ha ha ha! I was only speaking hypothetically!

(Hypothetically, huh...)

Well, shit... Looks like somebody was consumed by guilt, despite his crew's talk of justice and pride.

I wanted to stop him, but there was nothing I could do...

Shaiah...

And now he's been arrested, all for the sake of your stupid pride!

Absolute moron, if it had been someone else he might be dead! It's not ideal, but it could've been worse!

...Then again, he is going to the gallows... That's pretty damn rough.

Murderer! If Weiss dies because of you, I'll never forgive you!

Oof... Fuck. That's going to sting.

......

She's standing under the rain now. Hoo, boy...

......

You'll catch cold if you stay out here like this.

Ahhh, so that's why this song is titled like that.

......

Here, I've made some hot tea.

Lord Reese... Am I a bad person...?

You're asking him? He probably doesn't even know what that means...

......

I've been obsessed with the desire to capture Weiss for so long... Before, I had no doubt that those whom I hunted down for bounties were evil people, but now...

...The pirate Weiss targeted rich merchants and noblemen exclusively for his thefts. Then, it seems he gave the money to poor citizens whose lives had been affected by the war. I do not believe in the means he employed to help those people... But it does seem that he was motivated by some sense of justice.

All I cared about was my own pride as a hunter... But now, I see myself clearly... How weak and foolish I am... And now I've done something awful...

I think this lesson is something we all must learn for ourselves.

Kinda like you did the time you didn't question this random guy who asked you to throw nets on top of women?

...I've decided to quit being a bounty hunter from now on. It won't blot out the terrible things I've done, but still...

Does that mean you will also be leaving the mercenary business?

I was wondering... if Lord Reese would have me for one of his soldiers...

A soldier?

Up until now, I've only ever lived for myself...

That's my girl! Undergoing character development! And most importantly - ceasing to demand a fee for her services!

I would be happy to have you, but are you certain, Sylvis?

I have a new goal in mind now. I think that by working with you, I will be able to make it a reality.

I see... In that case, I've nothing more to add. Welcome to the team, Sylvis.

Thank you, Lord Reese...

Time for a report.

And of course, here's your doubled reward of 5000D. Nice work!

That's probably gonna be my only capture, sadly. I've had no luck with anyone else.

I wasn't sure who'd promote first out of Arthur and Ruby. Who would've known they'd do it together? Arthur's event is much shorter, so he goes first.

This is one of the most TRS-sounding themes in the ost.

Let us all regonize the fine deeds of our brother Arthur! Arthur, raise your head and look upon your liege!

Yes, sir!

You have shown great loyalty and courage,

And the ability to gain skill points by missing.

a testament to your worth as a Knight of Sinon! Therefore, I, Reese of Sinon, bestow upon you the title of Paladin!

The Goddess's blessings be upon this reborn child of Veria!

May you be a guardian to the people of this nation, and a light to drive back the darkness!

Dramatic. Anyway, Arthur is now a paladin! It was established back when Enid joined that there are only 24 paladins in Veria. Glad that we've got the 25th!

He has gained the ability to use spears less reliably than Elbert, and stats to kinda match Ward. Eh. Could be worse.

And now, for the main event of the day! Ruby gets knighted!

Same music as before. She, too, kneels before the steps.

Let us all recognize the fine deeds of our sister Ruby! Ruby, raise your head and look upon your liege!

Yes, sir!

You have shown great loyalty and courage,

And the ability to gain skill points by missing-- Wait a second...

a testament to your worth as a Knight of Sinon! Therefore, I, Reese of Sinon, bestow upon you the title of Paladin!

Hey! That's not right!

What... what do you mean, Lord Reese?

We're going over a very strict script here, Miss Ruby. You were supposed to swear "loyalty" first and "faith" second. Also, it's not "unending", it's "eternal."

Why does it matter--

DO YOU DARE TO QUESTION ME, SUBHUMAN SCUM!? KNOW YOUR PLACE!

...W-What have I gotten myself into...?

 

The Goddess's blessings be upon this reborn child of Veria!

May you be a guardian to the people of this nation, and a light to drive back the darkness!

Nice! Ruby and Arthur are now both paladins. You know, this makes me wonder why the title of paladin is so rare. Strange that there's only a couple dozen of them when this minor lordling can just go and give the title to two random dudes who not long ago were mere mercenaries.

Anyway, she lacks Arthur's raw power, but she's a lot more accurate with spears, and her speed will allow her to dodge more strikes than him (plus, Axebane). I think they'll make a fine team.

No time to rest, though. Ruby's promotion is the next step in her and Clifford's character arc.

Each lord is permitted to enter one representative in the competition.

Is this really the time to be holding a tournament, of all things? Isn't there a war going on?

Apparently, it was organized rather hurriedly at the sudden whim of His Majesty.

So he just went "I wanna tourney!" and they gave him tourney? Talk about spoiled... Tsk, tsk. When Sienna went "I wanna Bernard!", you didn't give her Bernard, did you, Volcyboy? What's the difference between you two? You know, besides the rift of difference in competence and basic human decency?

My apologies to His Majesty, then, but we cannot afford to waste our time with such frivolity.

That being said... a bit of entertainment is good for morale. Soldiers fight best when they're not exhausted by constant fighting to the death and depressed by the horrors of war. I'm not surprised Reese doesn't understand this, however. Difficult to have low morale when you have no morale or feelings to begin with.

Tianna, please send a message to the palace declining the invitation.

Lord Reese, are you certain...?

Oh yeah, that could be a problem... Volcens already despises us for no reason. If we give him a reason, he might just order us all killed.

I would advise to give the event at least a small part of your attention, even just to keep up appearances.

...If you insist. Tianna, if you would, please.

Yes, milord.

 

What can I do for you, Ruby?

I heard news of the upcoming tournament from Lady Tianna... If it is acceptable, would you please consider selecting me to participate?

You want to be in the tournament?

Yes, Lord Reese! I am eternally grateful to you for granting me full knighthood... However, I feel that I have yet to perform any deeds worthy of the title you have given me.

Oh boy. I hope there's money at stake! See, Arturo, that's what being grateful means. I haven't heard a word of gratitude from you. C'mon. Give me moneys.

Bring honor to Sinon, you say?

Yes, Sir! If there is anything I can do to serve the Order of the Knights of Sinon...

If that is your wish, Ruby, then I do not mind having you enter the tournament...

T-Thank you, Lord Reese!

Just be aware, Ruby, that even a tournament of skill is not without its fair share of danger.

I mean, people die in boxing matches. And here the contestants are going to be using actual weapons...

I wish you luck, Dame Ruby. Please take care.

I understand. Thank you all!

 

Look, a background! I think this is the only scene in the entire game with a static background.

Incidentally, this scene, too, uses the promotion music linked at Arthur's knighting.

Each day, our beloved soldiers of the Berwick League fight to protect our homeland from our enemies... But on this day, they may rest easy, as they fight not to the death, but to prove their abilities among friends! The victor of this competition will be rewarded in person by His Majesty

With money... money... money... c'mon, money! I need money for furniture!

with a laurel crown.

VOLCENS, YOU SON OF A BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH--!

Great glory will be brought both to the victor and to his lord. Best of luck to all participants!

 

Let's go. Who in the wold is Tensberger...?

 

 

...or the judges deem it necessary to stop the match due to injury. Contestants, have you any objections to these conditions?

Then may you both fight with skill and with honor! Begin!

 

True, I may be young, but don't go easy on me!

Mm... Very well, then! Let us both give it our best!

I was expecting some creeping or condescendence, but this guy's actually pretty cool. We'll see how he reacts when he loses, though...

("Stay calm, and follow your enemy's movements closely... If you can predict his next move, the battle is already won...")

Kick his ass, Ruby!

Ruby! Please!

That's it!

There we go, that's a victory for us!

 

I like how the second opponent has the regular battle theme. Strange choice, but okay.

 

I'm going back to the Highlands.

ACK! What the fuck!? Get outta my room!

 

 

Sinon must truly be scraping the bottom of the barrel these days...

Ahh, there's the asshole I was expecting.

All the greater glory for Sinon when I defeat you!

Show him why I've spent half this game training you, Ruby!

 

That's... not it, Ruby...

 

Ruby!

Ahh, that's better...

 

Hah! Where's all your bravado now, huh?

 

 

 

Oh, no... Here's Assholus Maximus.

Man or woman, this is all about skill.

Hah, don't mistake your wild swings hitting by pure luck as "skill."

Technically it is. The more skill she has, the higher her hitrate. Though luck is also necessary for the rolls to go in her favor... Let's just call it a healthy combination of both, and leave it there.

You'd do well to watch yourself, little girl.

If you think my skill is lacking, then why not test my sword yourself?!

Ah, I see. In this tournament, the higher you go, the worse people you encounter. I suppose that makes sense, since Volcens is the host...

Also, notice she challenged him to "test her sword"... And then drew a spear. I don't know, I just find that detail positively hilarious.

...Fine, then. I'll prove to you that my skill isn't just beginner's luck!

If you're so confident, how about we raise the stakes a bit?

What do you mean?

I say that you're getting a bit too into the role.

What?!

Why the panicked face? You may decline, of course... Little Miss Paladin.

Fine, I'll take you on! I accept your condition!

Heh... Just remember, you've sworn on your honor as a knight.

And have you? You don't even have enough honor to show your face...

I won't lose... Not to you...

Hoo, boy-- Wait... Vergil?! Ahahahahahahahahahahahah! Vergil! I wouldn't find this so hilarious if it wasn't for the fact that "Vergil" is obviously not his real name. A knight in white calling himself Vergil, but that's not his actual name. Kaga somehow took a dig at the FE12 translation controversy 7 years before it even happened.

Or, y'know, it's just a crazy coincidence. But that's no fun.

Incidentally, music.

 

Accompanied by the obligatory rounds of cheering.

 

Oh hey, he has Siegfried's class!

Now, let the final match begin! May you both fight with skill and with honor!

I will keep my pride as a knight. I will defeat you!

Just don't forget about our little agreement, little girl.

That's enough out of you!

I soundly agree! Give him the beating of his sorry life!

Believe it or not, that's not a screenshot of him dodging.

It's just that his horse is completely neurotic. I'll never get over those idle animations...

Hah, fat chance! Even starting with the helicopter won't save you!

Hey...

HEEEYYY! YOU SHAMELESS BASTARD! GIVE HER A TURN! YOU DON'T HAVE ASTRA, YOU DON'T GET TO DO THIS SHIT, YOU DICK!

There, you hit her. Are you happy with yourself now?

You've got to be kidding me...

Hmph, know your place, child. As you promised, from this day forth, you will abandon the name of knight.

......

We have our Champion! Let us all give congratulations to our victor, Sir Vergil!

I like how this tournament ended the worst way it could have. This guy has no lord to answer to, and "Vergil" isn't even his true identity, so... Basically, nobody has won. That laurel crown will most likely end up in the trash bin.

And to think, she had just been promoted, as well...

......

So, uh... Yeah. If there was ever any doubt, it's Clifford. He couldn't be bothered to lift his sorry behind off the bar stool to help his daughter save a village from brigands, but the second he hears she's been knighted, he immediately comes up with this convoluted scheme to get her to quit by beating her up.

I will say in his defense that, if you notice, he didn't try beating her into submission. Instead, he aimed for her hand to disarm her, ending the battle while dealing as little damage to her as possible. Feeble defense, I know. When I said "in his defense", I really meant "this is about the only semi-decent thing about this otherwise absolutely horrible thing he's done to his own daughter, the bastard."

...You knew it was me?

Yes, and judging by that "I won't lose... not to you..." line Ruby said before the fight, it's safe to assume she did as well.

It was plainly obvious.

......

Are you quite pleased with yourself?

I like how, upon removing his helmet, Clifford's vest magically became green and his armor got all scratched up.

Anyway... What of it, indeed. Heheheheh... Unfortunately for Clifford...

Ward's had just about enough of his shit!

What...?

If you would fight your own daughter without restraint, you should have no qualms about fighting an old man. If you have any honor as a warrior, you will meet me at the stadium. I will be waiting.

......

And then Clifford didn't show up, because he does not, in fact, have any honor as a warrior.

Nah, just kidding. Ward's about to show this guy how it feels to be his daughter.

All right. We've both been paladins in our time, so maybe this'll be interesting...

Okay, duel's over. Clifford's dead, go home, everyone.

So, you think you've got me all figured out, do you?! Come, then! Give me your best shot!

Wreck the bastard!

 

 

 

Ahahahaha... Unfortunately for you, Ward has already seen you try that trick before. And now...

It's time to go bye-bye!

Boom! That's gonna sting in the morning!

......

......

Had you been in your prime, I might not have lasted even five minutes... But I could mop the floor with pathetic drunks like you any day.

Tsk...

I have trained scores of knights. I know a good knight when I see one.

......

When I say that Ruby has potential as a knight, I know well what I am talking about.

No... She mustn't...

And yet, when I asked her why she wished to be a knight, she would not be honest with her feelings... I will not pretend to comprehend your situation, but I know this to be true: parents must believe in their children.

......

Do you know what your daughter was doing every day as you drank your life away in that tavern? Every day, she was training to become as great a knight as you once were. I would think you of all people would be proud of her.

I just wanted her to be safe... But perhaps... protecting her was not the right thing to do...

But Ruby is not simply your wife's child, Clifford! She is yours as well! She inherited half of her mother, and half of her father!

Half of... me...

From whom else would she have gotten the idea to become a knight in the first place?

Hmph... I wish she hadn't inherited my stubborness, too...

Go make things right with her.

 

 

And off he goes, to try and salvage his relationship with the last family he has left...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All this time, I've been trying to be something I'm not... Where did I go wrong?

...?!

 

...I'll be fine. You just left a bad bruise.

As tough as ever... Ruby, I don't want you to give up on your dreams.

What?

All this time, I never realized... You were walking in my footsteps...

I won't say anything more about it. If you can't forgive me for what I've done to you, I'd understand...

I am following my dreams, Father! What I wanted... What I still want... is to stand by your side!

You do...?

I love you, Father! For as long as I can remember, you've always been my inspiration! That's why I...

Ruby... I understand... You don't have to say anything... I've been a terrible father... But now I've finally opened my eyes. From now on, I'll stand by your side, father and daughter, together.

Well, shit! The things a good ol' beatdown can accomplish. Maybe being so soundly defeated made him realize that either of them could die any day, and then he'd truly have lost everything...

Oh, Father...!

Oh, but that's not the best part. Oh, no. Think Ward was awesome back there? That's not even his best scene in this character arc!

Lord Reese... My apologies. I wasn't thinking straight when I submitted my resignation...

Resignation? What are you talking about? Have you heard about this, Tianna?

No, milord... I have heard nothing of the sort.

Nor have I... Ruby, do you really wish to resign your position as a knight?

It may be a good idea, you know. You've reconciled with your dad, and you're well on your way to becoming a great knight. Now would be a good time to find a new company that isn't led by a tactician with a track record of getting a lot people killed.

N-No, General Ward! I wish to stay!

All right, then... I suppose that settles that...

Lord Reese...

Of course... However, I have a favor to ask.

I, too, have a request to ask of you, Lord Reese.

What's this, now? You mustn't burden Lord Reese with all of these favors!

......

......

I should inform you, Lord Reese, that Sir Clifford and I had a contest of our own earlier...

A contest, you say? And who was the victor?

...!

Aw, yeah. Ward's sacrificing his own pride for the sake of helping Clifford out. I wasn't kidding when I said he's the MVP of this character arc. He's singlehandedly fixing this family's problems.

When I asked him, he said he does not currently have a lord to serve... If we were to welcome him into the Knights of Sinon, he would undoubtedly prove to be a great asset. No doubt Dame Ruby would also be thrilled to have her father at  her side. The decision is of course yours to make, Lord Reese, but I recommend Sir Clifford highly.

General Ward...

I have yet to hear what the man himself has to say on the matter. Clifford?

I have been anxious to put my rusty skills to ues.

Do you have any objections, Ruby?

None, Lord Reese. I also wish for my Father to join the Knights of Sinon.

Then I will not object. Clifford, I cannot promise much pay, but I would be pleased to have you.

Thank you, milord!

Father...

And with that, Clifford is ours! I probably won't always deploy him, because that'd be no fun, but you can expect to see him in main missions going forward. Lances are too much fun, and the game's only going to get tougher from here on. I could use the extra muscle. Free muscle, I might add. Thanks, Ward.

And as if Sylvis and Clifford weren't enough, turns out deploying Kramer in Hero of the Sea gave him enough happiness to unlock his paralogue! It's official: going into the next chapter, we'll only have Axel, Owen, Thaddy and Perceval left as mercs. And, if you've forgotten, Axel and Thaddy will both join next chapter. So that's great.

Sadly, this does mean that this chapter will last even longer. There is no benefit to waiting on these missions. The sooner we do them, the better, as we won't have to spend money to hire these mercs. So yeah, it'll be a while before we resume the main storyline.

We won't do Stolen Sword just yet. I think I'll go for Altar of Raze next.

Music.

Who would that be?

Y'know, the other Oriental girl who always wears the white clothes.

We aren't particularly well-acquainted. We just happened to cross paths.

Oh, I see. Then did she go by herself, I wonder?

What are you talking about?

Well... I couldn't help but overhear a bit of a conversation she had earlier...

As the Pope's holy champion, his orders are beyond question... He is forcing captive clergy like myself and my brethren to work like slaves to build the obelisks... He keeps his sword drawn at all times, ready to strike us down... For a so-called holy warrior, Chaos is terrifyingly cruel... I knew that if I didn't escape, they'd eventually kill me, so I slipped away at the first chance I had.

For Chaos to inflict such cruelty even on other followers of Raze... You mentioned his sword... This was an ornate, curved blade with a burgundy hilt, correct?

His sword? No, it wasn't anything like that...

(But why...? What can this mean? Does Chaos not carry at least Vajra with him at all times...?)

...Perhaps this ornate sword you speak of is stored elsewhere right now?

If that is the case, then I have even less chance of finding it than if it were on his person... Although, now that he is undefended, I may be able to simply force the information out of him...

Or you could fail. But you're Buff Myrmidon. I'm sure that won't happen.

......

 

 

Ah, well, how convenient for this guy that Faye turned around for no reason at all so he could perform his Batman-esque exit. Also, this is yet another enemy that has managed to sneak into Navaron undetected. Though at least this one can warp. Ellis, Derrick, Owen and Barselphon just... sort of walked in, for all we know.

...Where did he...?

Think she'll be all right? She's a fighter, that one, but she's still just a young girl all by herself...

......

Well, well... This sounds awfully familiar. We'll see if Faramir is a better man than pre-beatdown Clifford.

Burning Verian believers in sacrifice at an altar of blasphemy... I would expect no less from the Church of Raze... What are your thoughts on the matter, Lord Reese?

Tianna, the letter said this altar was to the north of Berdan Ravine?

Yes, milord, in the Malzey Swamp. It is a poisonous bog.

Poisonous...?

Naturally, the area is quite unfit for human habitation. There are few who would willingly approach such a place.

Perhaps that is the reason the swamp was chosen as the site. Still, to establish a supposedly holy site in such an awful place...

If we don't stop the Razite Church, they will sacrifice innocents, correct?

I wholeheartedly agree. I shall send forth the knights to destroy this abomination!

Make it so. Send them as soon as possible.

Of course, milord. I shall do so immediately!

Meanwhile, in the capital of Bornia... Wait, what? What's this got to do with anything?

Excellent...

However, Cardinal... If I may be so bold... Do you truly believe that girl will be able to kill Chaos, even without the protection of Vajra?

Fear not, I have additional plans. Word will soon reach Navaron that an altar is being constructed in Malzey...

Ah, I see...

No doubt they will send a force to forestall its completion... Either way, the deed will be done soon.

Soooooo remember the time in chapter 3 when Chaos made Almachus look like a tiny baby? He still remembers, and he's decided to sabotage his own church in order to get back at Chaos. He's... not the most reasonable man, is he...

Very good, Cardinal...

Soon, you will learn the price for humiliating me!

Unlike Clifford in Knight's Pride, Faramir doesn't disappear when this paralogue starts. Quite the opposite: he automatically invites himself into the group and is force-deployed.

Well, I think that's about it. Next time, we head to the game's one and only swamp map, in an attempt to destroy the altar that is being constructed there. We may or may not have to rescue Faye, too. As for Faramir... Well, we'll see. Let's not get too ahead of ourselves. Whatever comes to pass, you know the drill. Farewell and all those things. Ta-da!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To be continued

Death count: Christine
                        Esteban
                        Czene
                        Faye x 2

* Unavailable

Capture count: 2 (Daoud, Elbert)

Cripple count: 1 (Perceval)

Reset count: 3 (Ward: 1, Abus: 2)

 

Current perfect streak: Sorry nothing

Best perfect streak: 6 maps

 

 

[Hanes]

Spoiler

7 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Your vision captures.

Vision quest?

Metaphorically speaking, the light strikes my retina and directs a signal to my brain, in which then allows me to view, capture and interpret my surroundings, in this way the metaphor alludes that I can envision what you mean to say.

10 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Okay, good. But you missed the reason for the gag. That's in... update 4, maybe? Updates 2 and 4. That's where you'll find the context for this.

I was around back then...

10 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

How? "The maps are beatable, thus they're not bad"? I am genuinely curious as to how a person could possibly defend these maps in any way other than "they're bad but I'm not bothered by it." Which, hey, fair enough, but the maps are still bad.

No, in the sense that a lot of the time, they are actually thought provoking, especially when you try to go quickly through them, this is even more fun because you can easily go back and do another strategy with Mila's turnwheel, it is a cheap mechanic but used in this way it's actually quite strong and just time-consuming.

The meme map probably already crossed your mind "The map with the cavalier in the top-left"... except that map has cavaliers there and a group of enemies near you and it's estimated that once you deal with that group of enemies near you, the cavaleirs reach to strike you. Note: You're not in range to attack, but they are. Since this is the start of the game they are not particularly threatening but my point here is to break the myth that FE2 maps play like FE4 ones (and I also disagree with how people generally view FE4 maps, go figure) and that they're slow when they aren't. You're slow, not the game, most FE2 maps are beatable in like 4 turns, and with very thought provoking action throughout I may add.

Now let me talk to you about another map I think is well designed: "Necrodragon hell", the one with the cantor that summons dragons. You've got Palla, Catria and maybe Est to help you take them down but you won't oneround them (unless you're on normal dumb-bitch mode) and you want the sisters to go further to take out Dolth asap, but you can't just let them live, so you have your other units work to defeat them and then also work to fight the Arcanists, all of these enemies are pretty strong too. Oh and yes there are swamps that hinder movement there, but it isn't a big deal when you have flying units, 7 move dread fighters and Bow Knights with 8/9/10 move i don't remember which. It really shouldn't be a problem, and people greatly exaggerate the speed of these maps, when by turn 3 you're getting everything under control and you have no excuse to take more than 5 turns on some of those maps.

Oh how about... Nuibaba's abode? That map is soooooo bad right? Yeaaaaaaah I bet you're nodding your head right now, about to upvote me and reddit gold. Except no thank you, that map is just hard not bad. "Waaaaaaaaah I can't just move my units and have them not die? Waaaaaaaaah" is the only complaint I ever hear, how about instead you work on dismantling the inner fortification from the inside and outside and then strike and take them down in a single offensive before they retaliate? Doing that is actually pretty fun.

Seriously, complaining a map is bad because you can't warp the lord and have them kill the boss because then the enemies inside fuck you up, is ridiculous.

Of course the game does have its bad maps, but calling 90% of the maps bad is simply wrong.

40 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lord Reese... Am I a bad person...?

You're asking him? He probably doesn't even know what that means...

"Bad? Oh you mean like... I have no clue"

43 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That's my girl! Undergoing character development! And most importantly - ceasing to demand a fee for her services!

Ruben when Sylvis gives him lap dances for free now:

46 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You have shown great loyalty and courage,

And the ability to gain skill points by missing-- Wait a second...

Lmao.

47 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Nice! Ruby and Arthur are now both paladins. You know, this makes me wonder why the title of paladin is so rare. Strange that there's only a couple dozen of them when this minor lordling can just go and give the title to two random dudes who not long ago were mere mercenaries.

I am wondering this too.

48 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Apparently, it was organized rather hurriedly at the sudden whim of His Majesty.

So he just went "I wanna tourney!" and they gave him tourney? Talk about spoiled... Tsk, tsk. When Sienna went "I wanna Bernard!", you didn't give her Bernard, did you, Volcyboy? What's the difference between you two? You know, besides the rift of difference in competence and basic human decency?

Volcen's has's a's dick's, and's so's that's's why's they's let's him's do's what's he's want's.

 

52 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I'm going back to the Highlands.

ACK! What the fuck!? Get outta my room!

HAhahahahaa!

53 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh, no... Here's Assholus Maximus.

Assholus Maskximus*

54 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, I see. In this tournament, the higher you go, the worse people you encounter. I suppose that makes sense, since Volcens is the host...

Also, notice she challenged him to "test her sword"... And then drew a spear. I don't know, I just find that detail positively hilarious.

That's because... eh nevermind, let's just say pointy things are very painful through a certain place in the body.

57 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

So, uh... Yeah. If there was ever any doubt, it's Clifford. He couldn't be bothered to lift his sorry behind off the bar stool to help his daughter save a village from brigands, but the second he hears she's been knighted, he immediately comes up with this convoluted scheme to get her to quit by beating her up.

I will say in his defense that, if you notice, he didn't try beating her into submission. Instead, he aimed for her hand to disarm her, ending the battle while dealing as little damage to her as possible. Feeble defense, I know. When I said "in his defense", I really meant "this is about the only semi-decent thing about this otherwise absolutely horrible thing he's done to his own daughter, the bastard."

This actually surprised me... damn... what the fuck Clifford?

59 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Nah, just kidding. Ward's about to show this guy how it feels to be his daughter.

Ward is Clifford's daughter? Uwu what a manly girl..?

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

But Ruby is not simply your wife's child, Clifford! She is yours as well! She inherited half of her mother, and half of her father!

Half of... me...

From whom else would she have gotten the idea to become a knight in the first place?

Hmph... I wish she hadn't inherited my stubborness, too...

Go make things right with her.

Holy shit this entire conversation...

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Well that's fucking insane... jeez I gotta say this headcanon of yours works out wonderfully... still, it's fucking creepy as shit.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh, but that's not the best part. Oh, no. Think Ward was awesome back there? That's not even his best scene in this character arc!

Oh what? Excuse me that can't be true! 

 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...!

Aw, yeah. Ward's sacrificing his own pride for the sake of helping Clifford out. I wasn't kidding when I said he's the MVP of this character arc. He's singlehandedly fixing this family's problems.

When I asked him, he said he does not currently have a lord to serve... If we were to welcome him into the Knights of Sinon, he would undoubtedly prove to be a great asset. No doubt Dame Ruby would also be thrilled to have her father at  her side. The decision is of course yours to make, Lord Reese, but I recommend Sir Clifford highly.

General Ward...

Holy shit, Ward is so amazing! He actually lies about both the letter and this to do what's right... most other "Jagens" wouldn't do anything other than "Yes, milord", "No, milord" but Ward is just so fucking epic, like he has more personality than any FE MC has ever had! Well maybe besides... uh Leif? Idk...

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

To be continued

The plot advances interestingly.

 

[Benice]

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MY REPLY DIED AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW.
Ugh. I'll just reply to this update then go back and reply to the replies later.

Spoiler

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You've got to be kidding me...

My run of Berwick Saga.png

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yeah. If there was ever any doubt, it's Clifford.

O SNAP

Wait, why didn't I get this one?

Oooh, right. This is Clifford's recruitment, no Ruby's. Good units! Disgustang!

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Soooooo remember the time in chapter 3 when Chaos made Almachus look like a tiny baby? He still remembers, and he's decided to sabotage his own church in order to get back at Chaos. He's... not the most reasonable man, is he...

HE LETS MY PRECIOUS FAYE PROMOTE SO I LOVE HIM

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Unlike Clifford in Knight's Pride, Faramir doesn't disappear when this paralogue starts. Quite the opposite: he automatically invites himself into the group and is force-deployed.

Hope you brought some Vulneraries for Faye and Faramir!

ALSO: Move Faramir right away or he takes a nap. Speaking from experience, at least.

 

On 8/14/2020 at 7:05 AM, This boi uses Nino said:

  On 8/13/2020 at 11:27 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

On 8/13/2020 at 3:38 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Actually, I'm pretty sure it's possible for human penises to "break", too. There may be no bones, but if an erect penis is twisted far enough, the tubes within it go pop. Isn't that fun?

ALSO WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THIS THREAD WHILE I FORGOT TO CHECK IT

[Punished Dayni]

Spoiler

8 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hmmm, so you really liked it, did you? Interesting. Well, I can at least say I didn't hate it, which is more than a good few FEs can say. First part was great, second part was good. Every chapter with the Dawn Brigade was good, excluding the part 4 desert. And I think Pelleas may be one of my favorite characters in the series. I almost would like to replay the game so I could save him. But, alas... I cannot stand the last two parts. At least in part 4 I can use bad units to break the monotony. Part 3 can be summed up as "Ike and his overpowered cronies kill things while I desperately struggle not to fall asleep." But at least in this game I can only use that summary for two parts, not the whole game, like PoR.

I mean, I can stand the Ike chapters unlike you (Barring 3-11. My god the pitfalls trigger me.). But then again I bloody mained Nephenee and abused Ilyana spam for most of part 3 anyways, while benching Shinon long term and also ignoring the usual candidates for worst units aside from Mist. I would argue as an aside part of RD's issue is being able to save freely straight up trivialises the game as well.

Also, Pelleas fan. I'm a bit surprised.

9 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Tibarn and Nailah? You kiddin' me? Nailah and Rafiel for life, you fool!

I mean, I wasn't arguing against Rafiel and Nailah's relationship there, I was asking if Tibarn and Nailah would end up doing it once. Tibarn's the one who said he could hardly control himself, while Nailah already thinks the bird is the word.

9 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

As for Sothe, he can have a threesome with Ike and Soren.

Thus solving the issues with Ike/Soren not having kids and preventing Priam's existence for those still trying to bring all the games into one timeline.

Not because they're both male (We already knew that), but because Sothe is according to Micaiah in 1-4 a mother to Ike's children.

11 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, I see... Well, it's true Reiss and Pejj haven't gotten much, but at this point Bluck has, like, three different backstories, which is pretty damn great for a shopkeep NPC.

I mean, Cecily's arc consists of her missing the blatant red flags that are stuck up Lane's posterior. It's... an unfortunate arc to have.

Also don't forget Lumiere (Am I spelling her name right?) got kidnapped by pirates.

14 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Consider me yeeted, because this is actually a fine boat map. Sure, everyone has Counter, but they're not aggressive unless you get in their way. You can be strategic about it and take them down from afar. As far as Berwick bullshit goes, this is on the low end of the spectrum.

Kaga here breaking all the boundaries.

Lower end, but owerwatch archer with canto can get out of my life.

15 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yep. All range 1 can attack Larentia. Of course hatchets are included. And here's the fun part: hatchets have crit.

Also, Larentia joins Bernstol's club. So far, it's the two of them, Volcens, Abus and Erzheimer. More to come, no doubt.

I didn't see you make it clear not-bows could attack her.

Sorry, I forget which club that is.

16 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Sadly, Kaga was at an impasse in this situation. Either force gameplay-story integration and make this fight a living hell, or break it to ensure the encounter was fair. Dunno about you, but I'm glad he picked the latter option.

Or he could have made it so that Sylvis was an exception during their cutscene, pretty sure it could be done and with her being force deployed, not allowed to die and already a solid unit I wouldn't think it implausible to pull it off.

23 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Don't patronize me! Are you saying you let yourself get caught on purpose?

Does it really matter at this point?

It does to me!

Kaga, I am not accepting this as your justification for removing Arrowbane on him.

38 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Weiss, who is that young girl who is always pursuing you?

Also, the other day Shaiah claimed to have "always hated" Sylvis, and yet she apparently didn't know who she was until "a few days ago." Quite the intense hatred for somebody you've never even spoken to. Also, how did Sylvis even recognize her at the tavern...?

She hates her for wanting to hurt Weiss I guess.

39 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahhh, so that's why this song is titled like that.

I guess the game chose to answer for me.

I also want an extended version, I really do like this track.

39 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I've been obsessed with the desire to capture Weiss for so long... Before, I had no doubt that those whom I hunted down for bounties were evil people, but now...

...The pirate Weiss targeted rich merchants and noblemen exclusively for his thefts. Then, it seems he gave the money to poor citizens whose lives had been affected by the war. I do not believe in the means he employed to help those people... But it does seem that he was motivated by some sense of justice.

All I cared about was my own pride as a hunter... But now, I see myself clearly... How weak and foolish I am... And now I've done something awful...

I see moral ambiguity is not something Sylvis learned before becoming a bounty hunter.

40 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That's my girl! Undergoing character development! And most importantly - ceasing to demand a fee for her services!

I could not help myself.

I also hate how for some reason GIMP messed with the sprite you'd edited's colour, so I tried to fix it.... only it probably would have turned out fine in the end and the result of me edit is quite apparent. Ho hum.

41 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

He has gained the ability to use spears less reliably than Elbert, and stats to kinda match Ward. Eh. Could be worse.

I mean, you're comparing him to Ward, not me.

Let's see him get as good.

42 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Anyway, she lacks Arthur's raw power, but she's a lot more accurate with spears, and her speed will allow her to dodge more strikes than him (plus, Axebane). I think they'll make a fine team.

Speedy girl better make use of it.

43 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

So he just went "I wanna tourney!" and they gave him tourney? Talk about spoiled... Tsk, tsk. When Sienna went "I wanna Bernard!", you didn't give her Bernard, did you, Volcyboy? What's the difference between you two? You know, besides the rift of difference in competence and basic human decency?

I mean, he is a king.

This kind of thing wouldn't surprise me regardless. I just have to assume it's a shit tourney because it's at such short notice.

44 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes, Lord Reese! I am eternally grateful to you for granting me full knighthood... However, I feel that I have yet to perform any deeds worthy of the title you have given me.

I mean, this is something that Ruby would be doing.

45 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Look, a background! I think this is the only scene in the entire game with a static background.

I mean technically other cutscenes have static backgrounds too, but I get you.

46 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Each day, our beloved soldiers of the Berwick League fight to protect our homeland from our enemies... But on this day, they may rest easy, as they fight not to the death, but to prove their abilities among friends! The victor of this competition will be rewarded in person by His Majesty

With money... money... money... c'mon, money! I need money for furniture!

with a laurel crown.

VOLCENS, YOU SON OF A BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH--!

Money is currently too precious a resource to be using as a prize.

47 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

True, I may be young, but don't go easy on me!

Mm... Very well, then! Let us both give it our best!

I was expecting some creeping or condescendence, but this guy's actually pretty cool. We'll see how he reacts when he loses, though...

Tensberger is just a decent knight.

So he will not survive this war.

48 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hah! Where's all your bravado now, huh?

I wonder how scripted this tourney is.

49 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hah, don't mistake your wild swings hitting by pure luck as "skill."

Technically it is. The more skill she has, the higher her hitrate. Though luck is also necessary for the rolls to go in her favor... Let's just call it a healthy combination of both, and leave it there.

I mean, with the crit too, he might be right.

49 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Fine, I'll take you on! I accept your condition!

Heh... Just remember, you've sworn on your honor as a knight.

And have you? You don't even have enough honor to show your face...

And what if I can't show it because it was badly disfigured? What do you make of that, Moleman?

51 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

We have our Champion! Let us all give congratulations to our victor, Sir Vergil!

I like how this tournament ended the worst way it could have. This guy has no lord to answer to, and "Vergil" isn't even his true identity, so... Basically, nobody has won. That laurel crown will most likely end up in the trash bin.

I mean, this is Volcens's tourney, that laurel crown was probably made from trashy branches anyway.

51 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

So, uh... Yeah. If there was ever any doubt, it's Clifford. He couldn't be bothered to lift his sorry behind off the bar stool to help his daughter save a village from brigands, but the second he hears she's been knighted, he immediately comes up with this convoluted scheme to get her to quit by beating her up.

I will say in his defense that, if you notice, he didn't try beating her into submission. Instead, he aimed for her hand to disarm her, ending the battle while dealing as little damage to her as possible. Feeble defense, I know. When I said "in his defense", I really meant "this is about the only semi-decent thing about this otherwise absolutely horrible thing he's done to his own daughter, the bastard."

Really defending her there, eh Clifford?

I CALL SHOTGUN. AND I MEAN A LITERAL SHOTGUN

51 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ward's had just about enough of his shit!

What...?

If you would fight your own daughter without restraint, you should have no qualms about fighting an old man. If you have any honor as a warrior, you will meet me at the stadium. I will be waiting.

I really think Mushu should have intervened on his drunk ass.

52 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Okay, duel's over. Clifford's dead, go home, everyone.

In the war of words, that's Ward 100-0 Clifford

53 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

And yet, when I asked her why she wished to be a knight, she would not be honest with her feelings... I will not pretend to comprehend your situation, but I know this to be true: parents must believe in their children.

......

Do you know what your daughter was doing every day as you drank your life away in that tavern? Every day, she was training to become as great a knight as you once were. I would think you of all people would be proud of her.

I just wanted her to be safe... But perhaps... protecting her was not the right thing to do...

Certainly you could have done a much better job than you did Clifford.

Oh no wait, you just went and got drunk off your ass.

54 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

And that's in my nightmares now.

Thanks.

54 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ruby... I understand... You don't have to say anything... I've been a terrible father... But now I've finally opened my eyes. From now on, I'll stand by your side, father and daughter, together.

Well, shit! The things a good ol' beatdown can accomplish. Maybe being so soundly defeated made him realize that either of them could die any day, and then he'd truly have lost everything...

I mean, true.

He'd still have the bottle though.

56 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...!

Aw, yeah. Ward's sacrificing his own pride for the sake of helping Clifford out. I wasn't kidding when I said he's the MVP of this character arc. He's singlehandedly fixing this family's problems.

Ward, you're putting in more effort for the piece of shit than I would think it worth it.

56 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

And as if Sylvis and Clifford weren't enough, turns out deploying Kramer in Hero of the Sea gave him enough happiness to unlock his paralogue! It's official: going into the next chapter, we'll only have Axel, Owen, Thaddy and Perceval left as mercs. And, if you've forgotten, Axel and Thaddy will both join next chapter. So that's great.

Sadly, this does mean that this chapter will last even longer. There is no benefit to waiting on these missions. The sooner we do them, the better, as we won't have to spend money to hire these mercs. So yeah, it'll be a while before we resume the main storyline.

So many paralogues.

I am in that hell right now.

57 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

We won't do Stolen Sword just yet. I think I'll go for Altar of Raze next.

Wait, was that unlocked earlier?

58 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Perhaps this ornate sword you speak of is stored elsewhere right now?

If that is the case, then I have even less chance of finding it than if it were on his person... Although, now that he is undefended, I may be able to simply force the information out of him...

Chaos without the Vajra is going to be a pain still isn't he?

Also, he could still have it nearby and Faye is screwed then.

58 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, well, how convenient for this guy that Faye turned around for no reason at all so he could perform his Batman-esque exit. Also, this is yet another enemy that has managed to sneak into Navaron undetected. Though at least this one can warp. Ellis, Derrick, Owen and Barselphon just... sort of walked in, for all we know.

Navaron's leaky border that lets enemies in are due to Berwick-imposed regulations.

#Narxit will become a thing at this rate.

Bagmen should be brought in for questioning at this rate.

59 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes, milord, in the Malzey Swamp. It is a poisonous bog.

Poisonous...?

Yay, more deadly swamps. /s

Maybe we need deadly maps that aren't swamp.

59 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Excellent...

However, Cardinal... If I may be so bold... Do you truly believe that girl will be able to kill Chaos, even without the protection of Vajra?

Almachus, you may just be the hero Raze deserves. Sabotaging your own side to get back at him.

Also, calling it Chaos will live.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I have a feeling that won't work out.

Also, hello bad dad no. 3?

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Arran reminding us all that they still owe Elaine a proper apology.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Arran dropping them over the spiked shoulders there.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Man I see he's still conceited.

Why do I get the feeling there's something in his past he doesn't know?

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I'd take that story.

3H story where you make Elainre Byleth.

LOCKDOWN TRAIN A-ROLLIN'

[BrightBow]

Spoiler

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Last time, Sylvis accomplished her hopes and dreams. Today, we'll watch as her hopes and dreams are shattered.

Well, you did go through all the trouble to catch me yourself. I might as well oblige you.

 Also, you and your friends did kinda murder my entire crew so... I'm still considering my options.

 Say... if I would escape, could I crash at your place for a while?

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Also, the other day Shaiah claimed to have "always hated" Sylvis, and yet she apparently didn't know who she was until "a few days ago." Quite the intense hatred for somebody you've never even spoken to. Also, how did Sylvis even recognize her at the tavern...?

I suppose they could have crossed paths a few times, even if they never exchanged names.
But it's a bit harder to justify Sylvis' knowledge of Shaiah's bedroom activities.
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You think so?

 Maybe she just didn't get discouraged like the others because you never picked up Arrowbane.
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ha ha ha! I was only speaking hypothetically!

(Hypothetically, huh...)

Oh hey, Weiss is the inventor of the "Just kidding... Unless...?" meme.
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

And now he's been arrested, all for the sake of your stupid pride!

That and countless cases of robbery and murder, I'd wager.
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lord Reese... Am I a bad person...?

Well, you are really judgmental towards other women, so you might wanna try working on that.
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

All I cared about was my own pride as a hunter...

 I mean, I didn't even get to keep the bounty, because I am currently on your payroll.

 Oh right. I wanted to thank you for that. We can really use those funds.

 ...

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That's my girl! Undergoing character development! And most importantly - ceasing to demand a fee for her services!

Yeah, that's pretty nice. She starts out cheap because of her low level, but it increases at such a rate that she has the potential to become the most expensive mercenary.
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Let us all regonize the fine deeds of our brother Arthur! Arthur, raise your head and look upon your liege!

Yes, sir!

 Ahhhh! My neck!!

 My apologies, but would it be okay if I keep my head lowered for the time being?

...

 Ward, I understand of course the need for decorum, but times like this demand flexibility. It's why we set up this dumb little basement throne room in the first place.
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Quite a contrast to Reese's own promotion, where he was like "Loyalty to His Majesty? Like hell!"

You know, Ruby's promoted portrait is kinda weird. It's seemingly just an armor swap but the linework has also gotten a lot more, how do you call it, sharper?
Kinda like how Reese's rare "still frowning, but not quite as hard" portrait is more blurry then his normal one.
Well, not like you would have noticed the difference on TVs at the time anyway.
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

My apologies to His Majesty, then, but we cannot afford to waste our time with such frivolity.

 We're gonna have to work through our entire backlog of paralogues this month. We really can't afford it.
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Each day, our beloved soldiers of the Berwick League fight to protect our homeland from our enemies... But on this day, they may rest easy, as they fight not to the death, but to prove their abilities among friends!

Well, except for those schmucks at the Western front. There our "beloved soldiers" are still very much fighting to the death. Assuming any of them are still alive, of course.
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Nice. Fancy new horse. Bigger shield. Looks great.

Although that horse has to be a rental, unless you already bought a new one.
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Sinon must truly be scraping the bottom of the barrel these days...

So much for the tournament among friends. One would think he would be more empathetic towards the struggles the countries of the Berwick League go through currently, considering he's from the Highlands and all.

Heck, Ruby may even have saved his live back when the survivors carried their bleeding, broken asses to Navaron. You think he was the dumbass knight who only ever moved 1-2 tiles even after he was mostly healed?
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hah, don't mistake your wild swings hitting by pure luck as "skill."

Hey, if there is one thing Ruby has going for her, it's high weapon skill.
Especially now that she is no longer required to level up both swords and spears.
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 Do you even have an actual title you could give up?

Watch your tone, missy!
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Just don't forget about our little agreement, little girl.

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I will remember, no worries. I know your memory isn't the best after a few rounds at Alex' pathetic excuse for a tavern.

 Really!? On my day off?! What's wrong with you people!?
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hmph, know your place, child. As you promised, from this day forth, you will abandon the name of knight.

  ...well, at least I am still a Paladin.
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I will say in his defense that, if you notice, he didn't try beating her into submission. Instead, he aimed for her hand to disarm her, ending the battle while dealing as little damage to her as possible. Feeble defense, I know. When I said "in his defense", I really meant "this is about the only semi-decent thing about this otherwise absolutely horrible thing he's done to his own daughter, the bastard."

It does take a special level of awful to be like: "It's not enough to beat up my daughter in a tavern. I need a bigger audience and the goddamn king of Veria watching!"
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...You knew it was me?

 Well, I could smell the alcohol and despite your awkward flailing, I noticed that for most of the fight you were aiming for opponents who weren't actually there.
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

So, you think you've got me all figured out, do you?! Come, then! Give me your best shot!

 I can take on all three of you at once!
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Had you been in your prime, I might not have lasted even five minutes... But I could mop the floor with pathetic drunks like you any day.

5 minutes sounds awfully long for a duel like this. Maybe something like 5 seconds would be more appropriate? Especially since Ward is describing a scenario where he would have been curbstomped.
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

From whom else would she have gotten the idea to become a knight in the first place?

I do appreciate that they didn't go the obvious route and made Clifford's wife a knight who fell in battle.
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

N-No, General Ward! I wish to stay!

All right, then... I suppose that settles that...

Imagine people progressing their character arcs without the main character being directly involved in. Such a daring concept.
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

We aren't particularly well-acquainted. We just happened to cross paths.

 It's the darnest thing, really. Wherever I go, I find her laying in a pool of her own blood.
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

If that is the case, then I have even less chance of finding it than if it were on his person... Although, now that he is undefended, I may be able to simply force the information out of him...

Sure, just beat him senseless and go Jack Bauer on his ass. Sounds like a plan.
A plan that will end with you spending the rest of the month either in the abbey or at the cemetery, but a plan nevertheless.
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Burning Verian believers in sacrifice at an altar of blasphemy... I would expect no less from the Church of Raze... What are your thoughts on the matter, Lord Reese?

I'm just surprised they keep setting up these places a mere stone throw away from Navaron.
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes, milord, in the Malzey Swamp. It is a poisonous bog.

 First they fry themselves in a lava cave, now it's a poisonous bug? They are quite consistent adversaries.
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

However, Cardinal... If I may be so bold... Do you truly believe that girl will be able to kill Chaos, even without the protection of Vajra?

 I mean, she is a complete scrub. And how do you even know her?
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Very good, Cardinal...

 Let's just hope he can't teleport. You know, like even I can.

 

Edited August 20, 2020 by BrightBow

[Golb89]

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Part 52 - Critical Saga 3: The Criticizing.

Spoiler

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Last time, Sherpa encountered an old friend and they left on a romantic stroll under the moonlight. With spears pointing at his vital organs.

Quote

 

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Another passive soldier. What's with this AI? Are they programmed to zero-in on the ballisticians or what? That's such a terrible idea...

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Get back, Ward. I am disappointed in you!

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah! Crossbowman!

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

I think this was a misclick. I think.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Actually, what happened here is that this Imperial, in an attempt to attack Faye, moved into Sylvis's Overwatch range. Heheheheheh...

https://www.smackjeeves.com/discover/articleList?titleNo=162888

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

A free broadaxe. This will be nice for another of the atelier's busted axes.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

I think Daoud can stay in the church to heal his paper cuts he's been sporting the entire map.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Wait, how does the church heal units if it has already been evacuated? Oh, well, I guess it's best not to question it.

You guessed right:

(Maybe)

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Just... please don't miss. Oh, wow, she turned her spear into a heavenly arrow!

Quote

Niceeeeeee, that's what I like to see! Except, well, no skill points. But no worries. We're getting there.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

In other words, this is a very smart, high IQ move.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

In the meantime, Enid can wound him with Perceval's teachings.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh, man, another shield down the drain... Well, he's worked so hard today that I can't say I feel like it's been a complete waste. He'll have to pack a ton of leather shields in the future, though.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

I really need to stop using the Rossweisse, but... Jesus, look at that. I cannot stop, it's too good!

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Burn! Burn to the ground!

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Incidentally... Did that lancer just sit right next to Ward instead of running away to gain some distance for his next charge? What is he, an idiot?

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Down south, Enid finishes off the cavalier.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Now... this guy. I completely fucked up the math and thought 8 + 7 = 14. Thus, I thought this killed the guy, even though it didn't, it only left him at 1 HP.

So I tried this instead, because, again, 8 + 7 = 14, so this just deals a bit of damage to him.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Anyone who attacks Von Beck risks taking two strikes to the face. Still, magic will easily down him.

Quote

 

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

YES! BUFF MYRMIDON! BUFF MYRMIDON! THE DREAM IS REAL!

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Groovy. Does anyone still use that word? Bah, whatever...

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh, fuck... Damnit, that's too much damage...!

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Meanwhile, Enid gets attacked by a soldier because I was too busy making sure Sylvis didn't get hurt.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Goddamnit, this guy just won't advance! It's almost as if he were the commander and didn't want to risk himself unnecessarily!

Quote

 

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! BLOOD!!

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Ohohohohohohoh, my God! Exact damage! He beat him in one single round, the absolute madman! He's a monster, a maniac!

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

I'll be damned...! That was absolutely gorgeous! It looked a bit rough at times, but we've pulled through. No casualties, we got everything... damn! I'm very happy with the way this map went. Next time, we return to Narvia and recruit Burroughs. Since he survived, it will surely go swimmingly. Then it'll be sidequest time! Everyone's favorite time! May we all farewell till the time to return to the thread for another update comes to pass! Byeeeee~!

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

That isn't true, Axel! I'll pay 10 ransoms if I get you captured 10 times!

 

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Part 53 - The most important event.

Spoiler

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

A deserter?

Yes, sad but true. In these days, there are many among us who would rather run than fight. The soldiers need a firm hand to remind them that such cowardice is unacceptable. That man has been sentenced to death by 300 lashes. We will make a fine example of him.

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

The implication here is that Rosecchar decided that the four ballisticians disobeying orders to stay behind and protect the villagers was "desertion", and Burroughs took the fall for the four of them. Which is just... great, amazing

In an alternative reality where Burroughs didn't stay behind to provide kills stealing fire suppost with his ballistae:

(Maybe)

Spoiler

Also, thanks M14 that's not what actually happens in the event: in fact, managing to save both the chairwoman and all the civilians who took refuge in the cathedral is pretty much the only accomplishment you (literally, as both the commader and the player) manage to get done (while the supposed protagonists are too busy epically failing their assigned tasks instead)

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Meanwhile, the Pope:

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

A long time ago, when I was still a novice, I didn't even have enough to afford food for the next day. I've never forgotten the kindness you showed me, feeding me and giving me a place to sleep. You told me, "I used to struggle a lot, too, but these struggles helped make me who I am today. I wouldn't trade these experiences for the world.

Your words encouraged me to keep moving forward, and I eventually became a respected craftsman. And now, before I leave this village, I want to give you these bows. I never sold them to anyone. Without your food and your kind words, neither I nor these bows could have ever existed. Please take them, with my deepest thanks. Morrison.

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Yeah... Bringing it back here to do business with you guys. Sneaky.

Maybe Valery controls this business too?

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Now we can craft more things!

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

This is steel wire, made from many small threads braided together. It's much stronger than ordinary sinew or thread strings.

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

With the rapid crossbow made, there's only one item we can craft with this:

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

In the past, Kanne Village has been the target of a large-scale attack by many groups of bandits. The village's hired guards fought back against them, but the enemy was still far too numerous. The mayor decided to temporarily evacuate the village, and the bishop, just a priest at the time, followed.

Bishop Simas only learned of this after the fact...

What happened to them?

The ones who were left behind were all slaughtered by the attackers. None survived. After that, the bishop vowed to stay in the village for the rest of his life...

How tragic...

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Lord Reese's popularity is merely a result of his father's influence.

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

May your name be forever engraved in the hearts of the people. The Goddess's blessings be upon this extraordinary young man!

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Grumble grumble...

What's the matter, dear brother?

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Whether it be rank or dominion, gold, silver or treasure... Ask it, and I will grant your wish.

I have no desire for rank or land, Your Majesty. I have but one simple request.

Is that so? Tell me, what is it?

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

And off he goes. He never shows up again, so I'm guessing Vanmilion had him thrown in the dungeon to rot for the crime of making a deal with Reese. A deal that was devised by Reese, I should point out. Jung's greed was his undoing, but beyond that, Reese is the true criminal mastermind.

Pretty sure they are implying Jung was the one who conveniently "forgot" about Larentia's aquitment (or at the very least the one who took all the blame for that...)

Also:

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Reese is the true criminal mastermind.

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

(And generally this whole scene)

Replace Magnard with Patriot, the Conolls with the Yetis and Kay with a not dead (yet) Frostnova and Kaga REALLY did "Arknights" first. Maybe.

(Not entirely sure where to fit Sherpa in all of that though...)

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

(Notice the distinctive lack of both M16's eyepatch and 45's scar back then)

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Jesus, Magnard! Couldn't you have aimed for his shoulder, then? If you only wanted to provoke him, there were better ways to go about it than cutting off his eye! He might need it if he succeeds you, y'know?

Maybe he thought the badass one-eyed look would help him more than his eye...

... or maybe not.

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

...Really?! You could've entered the tavern at any point in time, and you pick this exact moment!? What, do you have a jealousy sensor that triggers whenever Sherpa is with another woman? "My Sherpa senses are tingling! I must go and walk in on him so as to produce a love triangle!"

https://natangelo.it/2020/08/17/somewhere-in-italy-episodio-tre/

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

(Why could I do nothing but run away!?)

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

There's Rosalie's dad, alongside a guy who, believe it or not, has a unique sprite. I'm pretty sure nobody else in the entire game is a recolor. It's always either sprite reuses or unique portraits. Morai is somehow unique and not at the same time.

(Can't wait till the inevitable showdown with the Pope)

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

You can rest easy... Yes, rest in peace! Ha ha ha...!

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

...I'm going back to Rhodes Island.

https://gamepress.gg/arknights/operator/greythroat

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

...Oh, I just got it: Veria is the United States of America. Guess that explains Volcens...

He's ruling instead of Sienna because he got more of those "Big Electors", which allowed him to become king even though his sister got more votes from the citizens. Maybe.

Too bad they couldn't build the wall on Raze's border (paid by the Razites themselves) in time...

(Though irl they've already arrested "Herman" at least)

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

I apologize to all American readers. I'm just kidding. Love y'all.

Wait till they'll mass-vote for their current president again.

(Not like we can really brag too much over here either...)

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

And Kaga did GFL too it seems (or at least the Griffin&Kryuger PMC)

(Though that was sorta visible in TRS too)

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, milord, it's Derrick here... He says he wants to leave the mercenaries and join our knights.

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

After some pondering, I have decided to start with Hero of the Sea.

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

The navy does what it can to protect us near the ports, but they can't afford to guard us the entire way. We've tried hiring mercenaries and escort ships, to make up the difference, but... Well, there just aren't enough of them to go around.

Still, this city depends on the goods and services we provide!

Incidentally, have i mentioned "Patrician III" is by far my favorite PC game of all times?

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

You remember what I told you before, about why I came here to Narvia in the first place, don't you?

Yes, I remember. You're looking to capture a pirate named Weiss, wasn't that it?

Right, and now I've decided to be more proactive in my search.

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

I know that. But it's better than searching for him on land.

Unless he ate one of those Devil Fruits, that is...

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

I'm grateful to you for allowing me to come along, Lord Reese...

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Kingfisher time! Kramer gets us started. He gets the daily special.

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Aegina gets a pretty funny dish.

(Prequel)

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Finally, I craft this with the ash wood we got.

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

All right, then. Next time, we will storm the seas and fight pirates.

 

 

On 8/14/2020 at 9:48 AM, Dayni said:

Also, because my response was massive and I can't edit it, how does Derrick get recruited?

Like this:

Spoiler

 

Maybe.

 

(And that's it for Page 24)

[Saint Rubenio]

Part 56 - Charming mistakes.

Guys, the thermal drill:

Spoiler

On 8/20/2020 at 12:23 AM, This boi uses Nino said:

  Hide contents

Vision quest?

I wish. Titus best lord.

Metaphorically speaking, the light strikes my retina and directs a signal to my brain, in which then allows me to view, capture and interpret my surroundings, in this way the metaphor alludes that I can envision what you mean to say.

Marvelous. I don't think I can surpass that, so... Let's just say this: I see.

I was around back then...

Oh. My timeline was "OP, then jump to part 36~". I suppose that wasn't right.

No, in the sense that a lot of the time, they are actually thought provoking, especially when you try to go quickly through them, this is even more fun because you can easily go back and do another strategy with Mila's turnwheel, it is a cheap mechanic but used in this way it's actually quite strong and just time-consuming.

...Thought-provoking? The maps with eight enemies on a plain field and nothing else? Okay... go on...

The meme map probably already crossed your mind "The map with the cavalier in the top-left"...

Not really. The only maps in this game I remember are Nuibaba's abode, the two maps with Desaix, Zeke's field and the one where it's just Fernand, Berkut and a generic. Everything else is kind of a blur. I certainly do not remember this one.

except that map has cavaliers there and a group of enemies near you and it's estimated that once you deal with that group of enemies near you, the cavaleirs reach to strike you. Note: You're not in range to attack, but they are. Since this is the start of the game they are not particularly threatening but my point here is to break the myth that FE2 maps play like FE4 ones (and I also disagree with how people generally view FE4 maps, go figure) and that they're slow when they aren't. You're slow, not the game, most FE2 maps are beatable in like 4 turns, and with very thought provoking action throughout I may add.

You know, my complaint was never that these maps are "slow". My complaint is that this is all the most basic stuff imaginable. A lot of Gaiden's maps feel like baby's first FE map. Put a few enemies and terrain scattered around without much rhyme or reason, maybe a couple forts, then baby gets bored with the mapmaking and just leaves it as is. That's Gaiden's map design. That's not thought-provoking. The only "thought" that goes into that is "hmm, if I put unit here, will unit get attacked by enough enemies to die? If so, I should put them there." That's it.

Like I said before, fair enough if you like it, but "eight enemies on a field" is not really all that thought-provoking. Thought-provoking is something like chapter 16 FE6, chapter 8 FE3/12, chapter 18 FE5 (though that one can be pretty bullshit, I'll admit)... You know, maps with many objectives and different things going on that force you to think so as to accomplish all the goals in a safe and timely manner?

I'm aware that not all of Gaiden's maps are like that, but the fact that... well, there are maps like that isn't great. That shit shouldn't happen, especially considering Gaiden wasn't even the first game in the franchise (so you can't even excuse it as being the devs' first rodeo). This kind of map design's... tolerable in optional skirmishes, but a lot of these fights are mandatory, and they aren't fun.

But, hey. At least it's more fun than PoR. That much I'll give it.

Now let me talk to you about another map I think is well designed: "Necrodragon hell", the one with the cantor that summons dragons. You've got Palla, Catria and maybe Est to help you take them down but you won't oneround them (unless you're on normal dumb-bitch mode) and you want the sisters to go further to take out Dolth asap, but you can't just let them live, so you have your other units work to defeat them and then also work to fight the Arcanists, all of these enemies are pretty strong too. Oh and yes there are swamps that hinder movement there, but it isn't a big deal when you have flying units, 7 move dread fighters and Bow Knights with 8/9/10 move i don't remember which. It really shouldn't be a problem, and people greatly exaggerate the speed of these maps, when by turn 3 you're getting everything under control and you have no excuse to take more than 5 turns on some of those maps.

I will say nothing about this map, because I didn't make it this far. That said, fighting through endless hordes of necrodragons through swamps doesn't sound like fun. Maybe not bad design per se, but it sounds like the kind of thing that'd take half an hour of moving units one tile at a time to get through.

Oh how about... Nuibaba's abode? That map is soooooo bad right?

Yes.

Yeaaaaaaah I bet you're nodding your head right now, about to upvote me and reddit gold.

Second-worst map in the game for me, and I'll thank you not to mock me for it. Or have I ever called you a casual bitch for not beating the games I like?

Except no thank you, that map is just hard not bad. "Waaaaaaaaah I can't just move my units and have them not die? Waaaaaaaaah" is the only complaint I ever hear, how about instead you work on dismantling the inner fortification from the inside and outside and then strike and take them down in a single offensive before they retaliate? Doing that is actually pretty fun.

Well... Maybe you're just way better than me at FE and have discovered some sort of hidden super strategy that I couldn't see. My long-range units couldn't hit anyone, the front cliff was covered by like three spellcasters and two archers (so painstakingly moving my infantry through the cliff terrain over the course of 4 turns was not an option, they'd get shredded), and getting to the back entrance took like 10 turns every time and didn't even do any good, because I couldn't lure any enemies outside wihout getting hit by three powerful spells at once.

My only real option was to kill Nuibaba in one round, but between her difficult-to-reach position and her power and bulk, I simply couldn't do it. Any units that remained within the abode by the end of the turn died, no exceptions. So what the hell was I supposed to do there?

Maybe my team was just bad, maybe I was bad, I don't know, but the truth is, the only strategy that worked for me was this: start map, slooooooooowly walk around the abode to the back entrance, throw everyone at one enemy, maybe two if I was lucky, retreat. Rinse and repeat till Nuibaba is alone. It took me several days (mostly because I couldn't stand playing like that for very long), and by the end of it I was so bored and tired that I just quit the game right then and there. I beat the map, but in such a cheesy, dumb, tedious way that by the end I was just wondering "why the hell am I still playing this and not one of the FEs I actually enjoy?"

So yeah, that's my experience with Echoes. I suppose "waaaaahh I can't just move my units and have them not die waaaahh" is a good summary of the abode in particular. Guess I'm just too much of a crybaby to enjoy this game, hmm? Like, you know, the time I ironmanned FE6 on hard while ignoring all the broken units? Clearly I just can't stand a challenge.

...Sorry. I'll admit, your passive-aggressive attitude with the reddit jargon ticked me off. I apologize.

Seriously, complaining a map is bad because you can't warp the lord and have them kill the boss because then the enemies inside fuck you up, is ridiculous.

When have I done that? I've complained multiple times in the past about warpskipping! It's the reason FE5 doesn't rank higher in my list! If I wanted to skip everything, I wouldn't play the game!

My problem with the abode isn't that you can't win instantly, it's that the only entrances are a cliff that is covered by every mage in the map and where everyone can only move one tile at a time, and a back entrance that takes 10 turns to get to. The enemies are so well-positioned, it's impossible to pick them out one at a time. If your team is not godly, I simply cannot see how you could beat this without abusing retreat or making sacrifices. Oh wait, I suppose summons would work - but if you didn't train or lost Silque (I, uh... I did both), sucks to be you. It's extremely tedious, and if you enjoyed it, fine, but don't pretend that everyone else is an idiot for not liking it. It is not a well-designed map. Not the worst map ever, sure, I'll admit I'm biased against it, but it is bad.

Of course the game does have its bad maps, but calling 90% of the maps bad is simply wrong.

You'll have to forgive me if I want more than "eight cavaliers on a field" or "overpowered mages on a hill" or "zombie spam!" in my FE maps. Villages, treasure, NPCs to protect, optional bosses, recruits, items... Stuff like that! That's what I want in my FE! Gaiden's maps are simple to a fault. Aside from a handful of bigger ones (including the Abode, though that's a negative exception), there's just... nothing to them. Handful of enemies to kill, a bit of terrain, and that's it, move on to the next. They're uninspired and unmemorable. Boring.

And yes, there are some good maps in the game, but a good chunk of the maps are so basic they could be tutorial maps, and that's simply undeniable. I can get enjoying them, but defending them as well-designed maps? Not so much.

...I apologize for the angry tirade. It really wasn't my intention to bitch and moan this much, but the truth is, I don't find Echoes to be a well-designed game or one that's much fun to play. Great visuals, but there's not much else to the game from my perspective.

"Bad? Oh you mean like... I have no clue"

Classic Reese.

Ruben when Sylvis gives him lap dances for free now:

No, that's... that's not it... I wouldn't be opposed to it, but that's not it.

Lmao.

Reese isn't very imaginative. Why would he be? Imagination is of no use to him.

I am wondering this too.

Any ideas?

Volcen's has's a's dick's, and's so's that's's why's they's let's him's do's what's he's want's.

This is physically painful.

HAhahahahaa!

Glad you liked the joke!

Assholus Maskximus*

Hah!

That's because... eh nevermind, let's just say pointy things are very painful through a certain place in the body.

I know a couple of people who could attest to that...

This actually surprised me... damn... what the fuck Clifford?

He's... not the best father.

Ward is Clifford's daughter? Uwu what a manly girl..?

Errrgh... That's... not a mental image I needed, thank you very much.

......

You asked for it!

Holy shit this entire conversation...

Heavy stuff, isn't it?

Well that's fucking insane... jeez I gotta say this headcanon of yours works out wonderfully... still, it's fucking creepy as shit.

Why, thank you. That was exactly the intent.

Oh what? Excuse me that can't be true! 

Believe it or not...

Holy shit, Ward is so amazing! He actually lies about both the letter and this to do what's right... most other "Jagens" wouldn't do anything other than "Yes, milord", "No, milord" but Ward is just so fucking epic, like he has more personality than any FE MC has ever had! Well maybe besides... uh Leif? Idk...

This is why I like to consider Ward the second protagonist. Because not only does he have enough screentime of his own to qualify, he's also a better character than Reese. I like Reese well enough, and he has his moments, but... damnit, he's so boring most of the time. And we even missed one of his best moments, which is tucked away in Esteban's character arc.

The plot advances interestingly.

Thanks. I do try.

 

 

On 8/20/2020 at 2:04 AM, Benice said:

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MY REPLY DIED AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW.

Your reply got hit by a 1% crit.

Ugh. I'll just reply to this update then go back and reply to the replies later.

  Hide contents

My run of Berwick Saga.png

Pfffft...

O SNAP

Wait, why didn't I get this one?

Oooh, right. This is Clifford's recruitment, no Ruby's. Good units! Disgustang!

But... This is still Ruby's promotion event! Unless Clifford died, there's just no way you could've missed this if you promoted her!

HE LETS MY PRECIOUS FAYE PROMOTE SO I LOVE HIM

So in your eyes, Almachus is the second-best character in the game, is that it?

Hope you brought some Vulneraries for Faye and Faramir!

I'm on it.

ALSO: Move Faramir right away or he takes a nap. Speaking from experience, at least.

Ahahahahahah... yeah, good call.

ALSO WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THIS THREAD WHILE I FORGOT TO CHECK IT

Conversations.

 

On 8/20/2020 at 2:14 AM, Dayni said:

  Hide contents

I mean, I can stand the Ike chapters unlike you (Barring 3-11. My god the pitfalls trigger me.).

Ah yes, the pitfall map. I will agree with you there, that was by far the worst part 3 had to offer.

But then again I bloody mained Nephenee and abused Ilyana spam for most of part 3 anyways, while benching Shinon long term and also ignoring the usual candidates for worst units aside from Mist. I would argue as an aside part of RD's issue is being able to save freely straight up trivialises the game as well.

Well... The elitist in me would like to agree, but if I didn't have free saves I would've quit halfway through part 3. Having to repeat even a single one of those maps from the beginning would've destroyed my will to continue. Free saves saved the game for me.

Also, Pelleas fan. I'm a bit surprised.

Why? Because you don't like him, or because it doesn't seem like the kind of character I'd enjoy?

The poor guy has everything go wrong for him in every possible way, and still he perseveres out of love for his nation, even though he isn't Ashnard's true heir. Heck, Ashnard's true heir couldn't care less about Daein. Pelleas wasn't a good leader, due to the circumstances and his own lack of charisma and initiative; but his heart was in the right place, and he was willing to sacrifice anything - even his own life - for the sake of his people. That makes me respect him. And... Goddamnit, the guy gives his life to save Daein and it accomplished absolutely fuckin' nothing. How can you not feel at least a bit of pity for a man who suffers such a horrendous fate?

I mean, I wasn't arguing against Rafiel and Nailah's relationship there, I was asking if Tibarn and Nailah would end up doing it once. Tibarn's the one who said he could hardly control himself, while Nailah already thinks the bird is the word.

I can't see it. But that may be because I like Nailah while Tibarn's nothing but a bloodthirsty idiot in my eyes.

Thus solving the issues with Ike/Soren not having kids and preventing Priam's existence for those still trying to bring all the games into one timeline.

Not because they're both male (We already knew that), but because Sothe is according to Micaiah in 1-4 a mother to Ike's children.

Yes, I remember the line. I wish they'd done more with Micaiah's hatred for Ike. They just... kinda dropped the plot point. The writers were too focused on sucking Ike's dick, I feel.

Also don't forget Lumiere (Am I spelling her name right?) got kidnapped by pirates.

Yeah, that wasn't great either. And yes, that's the correct spelling.

Lower end, but owerwatch archer with canto can get out of my life.

For the record, the Overwatch archer and the archer with Canto were two separate archers. Fair enough on the Canto guy (not because of Canto, but because of his annoying arrows, his triple-fire bow and the fact that he moved), but the Overwatch guy was a joke. He didn't move and he was completely out of the way. Absolute non-issue.

I didn't see you make it clear not-bows could attack her.

Sorry. I mostly talk about bows, but yeah, anything higher than range 0 can get to her.

Sorry, I forget which club that is.

The club of having your name spelled incorrectly. Come to think about it, you too belong in that club, don't you, Daysi?

Or he could have made it so that Sylvis was an exception during their cutscene, pretty sure it could be done and with her being force deployed, not allowed to die and already a solid unit I wouldn't think it implausible to pull it off.

That could've worked, but the lack of Arrowbane was a much more clear hint that the game really wanted you to fight him with Sylvis.

It's worth noting that it's possible to miss Weiss with Sylvis. I just managed to hit the perfect 100 thanks to the Rossweisse.

Kaga, I am not accepting this as your justification for removing Arrowbane on him.

Well, that's too bad. The game came out 15 years ago. It's too late now, unless our theories about Kaga being a time traveller are true. But if that were the case, he'd only go back to give him plain Arrowbane, no scripted events involved. So perhaps it's for the best that this is the way things are.

She hates her for wanting to hurt Weiss I guess.

That's reasonable. But why does Sylvis hate Shaiah, then? Hard to imagine she'd single out this random member of Weiss's crew.

I guess the game chose to answer for me.

Right? I didn't even notice myself until I watched these scenes again.

I also want an extended version, I really do like this track.

It is one of the best in the game.

I see moral ambiguity is not something Sylvis learned before becoming a bounty hunter.

Nope.

I could not help myself.

Hwahahahahahahahahahahah... I love it.

I also hate how for some reason GIMP messed with the sprite you'd edited's colour, so I tried to fix it.... only it probably would have turned out fine in the end and the result of me edit is quite apparent. Ho hum.

Actually, one thing I've noticed with your edits (all of them, in fact) is that either you are colorblind or your editing software does funky things with the colors, because the colors are always a bit different from the original. Here, for example: my tunic is purple, whereas it was originally a pale blue. Your things seem to feature people with yellow faces, too.

Not trying to call you out on it like it's a bad thing or anything. Just a funny little detail I've noticed.

I mean, you're comparing him to Ward, not me.

Let's see him get as good.

I doubt it, with that spear level.

Speedy girl better make use of it.

Go Ruby!

I mean, he is a king.

This kind of thing wouldn't surprise me regardless. I just have to assume it's a shit tourney because it's at such short notice.

To be honest, I'm not that opposed to the idea. Like I said in the update, entertainment is also important. Reese just doesn't get it because the desire for escapism is an emotional need.

I mean, this is something that Ruby would be doing.

Which she did.

I mean technically other cutscenes have static backgrounds too, but I get you.

Bah, semantics...

Money is currently too precious a resource to be using as a prize.

Damn you! Sell your mustache to get the funds for the prize!

Tensberger is just a decent knight.

So he will not survive this war.

Jikes...

I wonder how scripted this tourney is.

I neglected to mention it, but... Entirely scripted. These fights cannot go any other way.

I mean, with the crit too, he might be right.

Okay, good point, but are you sure you want to be seen agreeing with that guy, of all guys?

And what if I can't show it because it was badly disfigured? What do you make of that, Moleman?

Heh...

I mean, this is Volcens's tourney, that laurel crown was probably made from trashy branches anyway.

Ahahahahahahah...

Really defending her there, eh Clifford?

I CALL SHOTGUN. AND I MEAN A LITERAL SHOTGUN

A shotgun against plate armor?

I really think Mushu should have intervened on his drunk ass.

I don't think Clifford has a cow. "Dishonor on your bottle" would probably be more appropriate.

In the war of words, that's Ward 100-0 Clifford

And in the war of blows, it's a similar result.

Certainly you could have done a much better job than you did Clifford.

Oh no wait, you just went and got drunk off your ass.

It... would've been difficult to do a worse job...

And that's in my nightmares now.

Thanks.

You're welcome. That was exactly what I wanted.

I mean, true.

He'd still have the bottle though.

Oh yeah, Ruby should probably pick it up and smash it when her dad's not looking. Otherwise, we're left to assume that he's never going to return to Alex's bar and that everything will be peachy from now on.

Ward, you're putting in more effort for the piece of shit than I would think it worth it.

He probably sees a bit of himself in Clifford. Y'know, considering the fact that their character arcs are more or less the same, except Ward's daughter died before he could make things right with her.

Man, this whole thing really does work so much better if Christine is dead. In a... really morbid and terrible way, but it does.

So many paralogues.

I am in that hell right now.

I'd be lying if I said I don't like it. I'm getting so much out of these maps. So many permanent recruits!

Wait, was that unlocked earlier?

Yes, it was unlocked at the same time as Hero of the Sea, if you recall.

Chaos without the Vajra is going to be a pain still isn't he?

Yes.

Also, he could still have it nearby and Faye is screwed then.

Yes.

A lot of things could go wrong with this plan. Good thing Edgelord Nº 2 is on the case.

Navaron's leaky border that lets enemies in are due to Berwick-imposed regulations.

#Narxit will become a thing at this rate.

If only...

Bagmen should be brought in for questioning at this rate.

The poor bagmen. Why assume they're all evil? Some just like the way they look, you know!

Yay, more deadly swamps. /s

Maybe we need deadly maps that aren't swamp.

Or, heck, swamp maps that aren't deadly. Swamps can be truly beautiful places. If you google the word "swamp", you don't get cesspools, you get fucking amazing landscapes. And... This image, for some undiscernible reason.

Almachus, you may just be the hero Raze deserves. Sabotaging your own side to get back at him.

He's Raze's answer to Volcens. Kinda. It's a bit of a toss-up between him and Faisal.

Also, calling it Chaos will live.

Well, we'll see, won't we?

I have a feeling that won't work out.

All in due time.

Also, hello bad dad no. 3?

Oof... I really wasn't expecting this development when I edited Klimt's beard onto the generic soldier sprite.

Arran reminding us all that they still owe Elaine a proper apology.

#JusticeForElaine

Arran dropping them over the spiked shoulders there.

That's why he still has them after so long.

Man I see he's still conceited.

Yes, that's... kinda the character I've written for the guy whose name is a corruption of my own.

Why do I get the feeling there's something in his past he doesn't know?

Ah, well, we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?

I'd take that story.

3H story where you make Elainre Byleth.

Hahaha no. Next LP's not gonna be Three Houses.

It'll be... Huh. I wonder. At this point it's not nearly as much of a given as Berwick was. Thracia? Vestaria Saga? The Last Promise, as has been requested since my very first LP? Who knows... Ah, we still have quite a bit of Berwick to get through. There's no rush to decide.

LOCKDOWN TRAIN A-ROLLIN'

Choo-choo! All aboard! Destination, home!

 

On 8/20/2020 at 2:20 AM, BrightBow said:

  Hide contents

 Also, you and your friends did kinda murder my entire crew so... I'm still considering my options.

 Say... if I would escape, could I crash at your place for a while?

This sounds just like him, and I'm not sure if that's a good thing.

I suppose they could have crossed paths a few times, even if they never exchanged names.
But it's a bit harder to justify Sylvis' knowledge of Shaiah's bedroom activities.

Sylvis believes that women who bathe are skanks.

...Oh God, I just made my waifu look like a terrible person...
 

 Maybe she just didn't get discouraged like the others because you never picked up Arrowbane.

 

Actually, I had it when I met her. But I dropped it.

What? Why'd you do that?

...Well... To tell you the truth, I want to know how it feels.

...Weiss, please...

Oh hey, Weiss is the inventor of the "Just kidding... Unless...?" meme.
A true pioneer.

That and countless cases of robbery and murder, I'd wager.
Oof...

Well, you are really judgmental towards other women, so you might wanna try working on that.

Yes, that'd be a great development for her indeed.

 I mean, I didn't even get to keep the bounty, because I am currently on your payroll.

 Oh right. I wanted to thank you for that. We can really use those funds.

 ...

Reese would totally say that. He has no empathy. He cannot read the room. He lacks all the qualities that make a person. He's an empty husk of a man.

Yeah, that's pretty nice. She starts out cheap because of her low level, but it increases at such a rate that she has the potential to become the most expensive mercenary.

Oh yeah, a Derrick per level is quite the steep increase. I think by this point she was already nearing 2000. A bit longer and she might've surpassed Clifford. Good thing that won't be a problem anymore. Neither her nor him.

 Ahhhh! My neck!!

 My apologies, but would it be okay if I keep my head lowered for the time being?

...

 Ward, I understand of course the need for decorum, but times like this demand flexibility. It's why we set up this dumb little basement throne room in the first place.

Hahahahahahahah... Between this and the recycled lines, it really does feel like they threw the knighting ceremonies together in a hurry.

Quite a contrast to Reese's own promotion, where he was like "Loyalty to His Majesty? Like hell!"

To be fair, they're not swearing loyalty to Volcens, but Reese. There's a difference. Reese may have no emotions, but Volcens is all bad emotions!

You know, Ruby's promoted portrait is kinda weird. It's seemingly just an armor swap but the linework has also gotten a lot more, how do you call it, sharper?
Kinda like how Reese's rare "still frowning, but not quite as hard" portrait is more blurry then his normal one.
Well, not like you would have noticed the difference on TVs at the time anyway.

Yes, I've noticed this too. There are a few other characters that are affected by this, it's strange.
 

 We're gonna have to work through our entire backlog of paralogues this month. We really can't afford it.

I feel that Kaga intended for paralogues not to be obtained all at once. Sadly, due to the way happiness works, that's more likely to be the case.

Well, except for those schmucks at the Western front. There our "beloved soldiers" are still very much fighting to the death. Assuming any of them are still alive, of course.

Those aren't our beloved soldiers. Those are Bernard's scum. I should have them all drawn and quartered...

Brother, I think the Empire will do that for you.

You think so? That'd be a load off my mind...

And once they fall, they'll come for you.

...What!?

Nice. Fancy new horse. Bigger shield. Looks great.

Although that horse has to be a rental, unless you already bought a new one.

Ahahahahahahahah... Yes, it's a rental.

So much for the tournament among friends. One would think he would be more empathetic towards the struggles the countries of the Berwick League go through currently, considering he's from the Highlands and all.

Heck, Ruby may even have saved his live back when the survivors carried their bleeding, broken asses to Navaron. You think he was the dumbass knight who only ever moved 1-2 tiles even after he was mostly healed?

The only knight I healed was the horse guy, and that one looked way different, so... Maybe this guy was one of the fellows I never healed, and he's just bitter about it?

Hey, if there is one thing Ruby has going for her, it's high weapon skill.
Especially now that she is no longer required to level up both swords and spears.

True enough.

 Do you even have an actual title you could give up?

Watch your tone, missy!

Well, there's "customer of the year" over at Alex's...

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I will remember, no worries. I know your memory isn't the best after a few rounds at Alex' pathetic excuse for a tavern.

 Really!? On my day off?! What's wrong with you people!?

Bwahahahahahah... I just love that Alex materialized in the stadium's barracks solely so he could hear people badmouthing his bar. Maybe he just got lost on his way to the bathroom?

  ...well, at least I am still a Paladin.

The 26th, to be precise.

It does take a special level of awful to be like: "It's not enough to beat up my daughter in a tavern. I need a bigger audience and the goddamn king of Veria watching!"

It's kind of admirable, in a way. He's truly dedicated to being the worst parent he could possibly be.

 Well, I could smell the alcohol and despite your awkward flailing, I noticed that for most of the fight you were aiming for opponents who weren't actually there.

You know? The actual explanation for all his misses is probably what I said (he's not trying to hit her seriously, just disarm her), but I think I prefer yours.

 I can take on all three of you at once!

 

Those two...? No, they'd never aid me... I am not worthy of their help. I... I let them down.

...What are you talking about--

DAMNIT CLIFFORD! SCREW THE STADIUM, I'M BEATING YOU UP RIGHT HERE!

A-Aaargh--!

YOU WON'T END UP LIKE ME! I WON'T LET YOU, DAMNIT! TAKE THIS! AND THIS! AND THIS!

...Hoo, boy... There goes half my budget for the next month...

5 minutes sounds awfully long for a duel like this. Maybe something like 5 seconds would be more appropriate? Especially since Ward is describing a scenario where he would have been curbstomped.

I guess Ward realized that, with people as powerful as Clifford in his prime, himself and his beard, the duel would be bound to last a long time.

It's as if Eugen and Sienna engaged in a battle of wits. It would last all day, and by the end of it they'd just agree that they're both awesome and they shouldn't be fighting. Then they'd both go after Volcens and Holmes.

I do appreciate that they didn't go the obvious route and made Clifford's wife a knight who fell in battle.

Yeah, agreed.

Imagine people progressing their character arcs without the main character being directly involved in. Such a daring concept.

A daring concept that happens.

To be honest, I like that the main characters are so involved with the rest of the gang. In FE, it all too often feels like the main cast and the rest of the army are two separate entities, so far away from one another, who only ever speak in supports. I enjoy that, in this game, they're allowed to interact in ways that do not feel so... support-ish, for a lack of a better word.

 It's the darnest thing, really. Wherever I go, I find her laying in a pool of her own blood.

 

I hear the Sinon tactician has noticed how you're ready to save her at all times, and constantly employs her as living bait.

What?!

It doesn't really surprise me. He's a nutjob. He apparently refuses to hire my services because he doesn't like the way I dress. Can you believe it?

...What kind of madman...

 

Sure, just beat him senseless and go Jack Bauer on his ass. Sounds like a plan.
A plan that will end with you spending the rest of the month either in the abbey or at the cemetery, but a plan nevertheless.

I like how, according to the way you phrased it, she'd only be dead for a month and then she'd just rise from her grave and go back to the merc guild.
 

I'm just surprised they keep setting up these places a mere stone throw away from Navaron.

Never forget that Narvia is right next to Raze, with just a slim strip of sea separating the two. They've probably been sending boats full of troops, and that's why all those random Imperial troops in Narvian soil exist.

 First they fry themselves in a lava cave, now it's a poisonous bug? They are quite consistent adversaries.

...Though, they aren't the best at taking advantage of their position...

 I mean, she is a complete scrub. And how do you even know her?

You know? Good point. Maybe Almachus didn't really return to Bornia in chapter 3. He merely warped outside the building and hid in some bushes to watch in hopes that we'd murder Chaos. That's when he saw Faye getting curbstomped and went "now there's someone I can use for my evil plans to murder Chaos for making fun of me a bit".

 Let's just hope he can't teleport. You know, like even I can.

Eheh... Heh... Eeaahhh... Oh, for fuck's sake-- At this point, we've seen Chaos teleport! He did it in chapter 3! How does Almachus expect this to work?!

 

 

16 hours ago, Golb89 said:

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Okay, but why do guns scream "rat"? They aren't loaded with living rats, I hope!

Hwahahahahahahah... this guy is too much, I swear.

Bleh... Damn her!

Ah, yes, strategy game limitations. Don't forget patiently waiting for the enemies to take their turns instead of just... you know, fighting back.

 

https://www.smackjeeves.com/discover/articleList?titleNo=162888

Pah... Overwatch. The inferior game to TF2, with the inferior medic. Can you feel the disdain in my words? You cannot be a TF2 fan without hating on Overwatch, apparently.

...Actually, I did play Overwatch. 40, 50, maybe 60 hours? Eventually I got bored of it, and I haven't touched it since. Never quite hooked me the way TF2 did.

I do like how the game itself is less popular than the porn featuring its characters--

 

That's... not quite what the broadaxe looks like, but sure, let's go with that.

No, that's Marcel. Daoud needs at least some healing.

You guessed right:

(Maybe)

It still baffles me that Hellagur exists. How? He looks like the kind of character who'd die halfway through the story! How can he be playable? It's not... logical, in the context of a waifu shit game!

Ah, yes, this one. Fuckin' Martel... Pfah!

This should probably be my profile picture. But I like my portrait.

Relevant.

I just noticed she's carrying a crane gun. Why...?

Oh, okay. Thanks for the free insult, girl in white.

And now, for the completely unrelated music video!

Pffft... Poor guy.

Jesus, the guy is unluckier than me...

Well, I'm pretty sure there are a few enemies in the game who can tank Pallas Leia...

Uhh.... okay.

Oh, God, the bunny stockings... I think I just died a bit inside.

 

Did you just get these characters recently? Don't think I've ever seen them before.

Cool song. Cooler turtleneck.

Hah! Indeed it is-- Oh, what!? Why is the text here? I clicked underneath the image!

 

 

Indeed, more or less like that.

Ah, yes... This again.

I think you should go to sleep, because you look like you haven't gotten any rest in the last 27 years.

Hah! You wish! We've still so many missions ahead of us.

That... cannot be convenient for fighting. Unless she weaponizes the sleeves as well.

Beautiful. That's even more wasteful than Berwick furniture.

 

  Hide contents

Female Rosecchar. She even kinda has the same scary eyes! If... If you use your imagination, she does!

In an alternative reality where Burroughs didn't stay behind to provide kills stealing fire suppost with his ballistae:

(Maybe)

  Reveal hidden contents

Also, thanks M14 that's not what actually happens in the event: in fact, managing to save both the chairwoman and all the civilians who took refuge in the cathedral is pretty much the only accomplishment you (literally, as both the commader and the player) manage to get done (while the supposed protagonists are too busy epically failing their assigned tasks instead)

Ah, yes. I love nothing better than watching protagonists fail at things.

Meanwhile, the Pope:

I wasn't expecting the Pope when I woke up. But sometimes the Pope is just what you're going to get.

Then he died.

...Nah, I prefer to imagine he made it out safely. Though it would've been cool if he became a NPC that you had to escort out of the battlefield as well.

Maybe Valery controls this business too?

Hah! This actually happened in the game. Remember the one sidequest where we went to rescue food for Marybelle? She gives the army a discount on the daily special... Even though it's already discounted from the get-go. There is a reduction in price, but it's not as much as you'd think. That crafty woman...

Ah, so she's an engineer, is she?

...Ah.

Come now, how much damage could a miniature crane do--

Oh, wait, I just noticed the claw. Very well, carry on.

I'd just like to point out that Ulrich is a male name. So... yeah. It's a trap.

Fish'd.

Wha-- Why is that an anime where toddlers carry AKs around!?

Back to Rhodes Island, not to be confused with Rhode Island, US, or Rhodes Island, Greece?

Ah, another reused one. Still love the hyperrealistic drawing of the dev while the girl has no nose.

Pretty sure they are implying Jung was the one who conveniently "forgot" about Larentia's aquitment (or at the very least the one who took all the blame for that...)

Quite wrong. They were implying Herman was the one who "forgot" to arrange Larentia's release. Jung was just an opportunistic asshole who took advantage of the situation. But only because Reese brought it up.

Also:

I prefer Supreme Head of Infinite Thoughtfulness, thank you. You may use the acronym if that's too long.

...Actually, on second thought, please... don't, use the acronym...

Replace Magnard with Patriot, the Conolls with the Yetis and Kay with a not dead (yet) Frostnova and Kaga REALLY did "Arknights" first. Maybe.

Of course, was there ever any doubt?

(Not entirely sure where to fit Sherpa in all of that though...)

Sherpa can be Completely Out Of Place Beard Man. Because fuck it.

(Notice the distinctive lack of both M16's eyepatch and 45's scar back then)

Right, she actually looks like something proper here.

Maybe he thought the badass one-eyed look would help him more than his eye...

... or maybe not.

O-Oh, goodness gracious... Where'd you find this!?

 

https://natangelo.it/2020/08/17/somewhere-in-italy-episodio-tre/

Ah! Italian! Presto di questo, capisci carbonara pasta arrivederci! Gabagool!

...Sorry. I couldn't help myself. Feel free to make fun of spanish in return.

So the Taunt Fairy is just... an insult fairy? Okay...

Hey! Strategic retreats are perfectly fine tactics!

Anime dialogue!

(Can't wait till the inevitable showdown with the Pope)

Holy shit, the resemblance really is uncanny!

Ahahahahahaha... Magnificent.

https://gamepress.gg/arknights/operator/greythroat

Wholesome... maybe? Please?

He's ruling instead of Sienna because he got more of those "Big Electors", which allowed him to become king even though his sister got more votes from the citizens. Maybe.

Too bad they couldn't build the wall on Raze's border (paid by the Razites themselves) in time...

Bwahahahahahahahah... Kaga did the United States of America first.

(Though irl they've already arrested "Herman" at least)

If only that happened in Berwick Saga too.

Wait till they'll mass-vote for their current president again.

(Not like we can really brag too much over here either...)

Meh... Me, I can't complain. We could be much worse off, here in Spain.

And Kaga did GFL too it seems (or at least the Griffin&Kryuger PMC)

(Though that was sorta visible in TRS too)

Ah, yes. I too remember the "Plum and the Slaver" arc.

I had to do a double take, I initially read that as "Big Boob."

He's more of a sailor than you! There's no reason for you to be called a sailor! You don't sail! You don't even become sail! What do you do that has to do with sailing!?

Incidentally, have i mentioned "Patrician III" is by far my favorite PC game of all times?

Nope, but it does look like a fun one.

I support this plan. Hey, she kinda looks a bit like Leonie (the original one). How I miss her. Sylvis sadly has no movement growth...

Unless he ate one of those Devil Fruits, that is...

Ah, it's that one anime everyone likes, but I see the 1000 episode count and nope the hell outta there! Sorry, but I don't want to spend the next three years watching one anime I probably won't even like.

Mood.

Oh, okay...

(Prequel)

But... why does she look horny while she's cooking?

Wonderful.

It looks more like a thin stick than a spear. But what do I know. I can't see the tip.

 

 

Like this:

  Hide contents

 

Maybe.

Ehhh... More or less?

(And that's it for Page 24)

Hurray. Now's when this post brings us to page 26.

 

Go get it:

Spoiler

Today we're starting with everyone's favorite part of the LP: preparations! Sorry, I just don't want to leave anyone in the dark, if they want to keep track of my inventories. Firstly, Faye and Faramir both take a couple vulneraries.

Faye also gears up with a longsword and Weiss's estoc.

Adel grabs the Angon and Leon picks up a couple things.

Hurray, Sherlock can finally use non-shitty bows! Let's celebrate by giving him one.

Pictured is my attempt to give Axel a miracle charm. I just... no comment. Thanks, me. Never change.

Sigh... Vulneraries for all that will come today.

Euthyphro healing, because I'm not interested in watching it break. I'll have to purchase Lendel's repairstone sooner than later.

And it's on! I forgot to link music in Hero of the Sea, so here. This also played back there. If you can time travel, now you know which video to open.

Today's team. I hate it, but Derrick sits this one out too. He cannot move through swamps. He'd be stuck up there.

The map. See all those obelisks? They are breakable structures that grant the enemy 15% hit and avoid. We'll want to bring them down as soon as possible. Oh, and it probably goes without saying, but the swamp hurts units standing on it when a new turn commences.

There's Faye and Chaos.

...Chaos is unarmed? Hell yeah, then we've got this in the bag! I guess Almachus's guy just mistook... I dunno, a reflection of the light or something for a blade in his hand.

Let us go. To start, Faye charges into a cave where Chaos is waiting for her. Ahh, I see, he's unarmed because he has full confidence in the abilities of his bodyg--

...Well, shoot, that was quick. Buff myrmidon, everyone!

I don't know who you heard that from, girl, but as you can see, the swords are indeed elsewhere... Far out of your grasp.

The last time we fought, you had the sword's blessing protecting you. But that is not the case now! This time, you will fall at my hand!

Heck yeah! Got anything to say now?

...Are you serious? Ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh, you're just... going to laugh at her.

...This isn't going to end well, is it...

You never learn, do you, girl?

What are you saying?

If you refuse to tell me where the swords are, then I have no choice... I'll have to beat the answers out of you!

Ha! Come and try me!

Well, he's still unarmed. I don't see how he could--

HEY! HEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYY! THAT'S BULLSHIT, WHAT A LOAD OF BULLSHIT! HE PRODUCED A BLADE OUT OF NOWHERE!!

Faye, no! Back off, girl! You've 1 defense, you're in way over your head--

Damnit, Faye!

Oh, goodness... What a mess...

Well.

I supposed it was to be expected. I mean, be honest - did a single one of you out there really think Chaos would die here? Pfft.

I think this is already the fourth bloody portrait I've made for Faye. At some point I'm going to run out of non-lethal wound spots. And I'm not taking her eye, like with Lance. I refuse to edit an eyepatch onto every single one of her battle forecasts for the rest of the game.

Don't you understand it yet? You can't even touch me! I'd hoped this would be interesting, but you're still just as disappointing as ever...

It's time we ended this. This time, I'll make sure you stay dead.

Hah! I'd like to see you try, Chaos. It's impossible, man. People have tried that before. It never works.

See? Right on cue, Faramir arrives. I have to wonder why he always waits for her to get wrecked before he appears, though... Five minutes ago wouldn't have been so bad, either. You think he just prefers women when they're all bloodied up and vulnerable?

...Oh, God, that's just awful-- Faye, get out of here...! Flee! Flee from the childish maniac in the cloak, the stalker with the damisel fantasies and the ugly tactician who uses you as a sacrificial lamb!

What?! You again...? Ah, so you're the one responsible for this...

......

Oh, shit! He can move very fast! It's almost is he's... he's... a generic anime swordsman!

You know, just once I want one of these edgy types to try this nonsense, trip over a rock and fall flat on his face. Please tell me one such clip exists. Where's Golb when you need him...?

I still can't see this untrained guy succeeding aganist Chaos.

.......

Ah, well. I guess from one creep to another... Not gonna lie, this leaves me rather unsatisfied. Patience, Ruben... Faye's revenge, and mine, will arrive in time...

Face me and fight, you worms!

 

Perhaps it would be unwise to fight him without Vajra in hand... Arzovy! Where are you?

...I will be returning to the homeland for a short while. Overseeing construction will be your responsibility while I am away.

Yes, sir... As you wish...

Oh boy, time limit? Nope. Chaos never comes back.

Of course, Master Chaos... I shall wait here for your return...

Arzovy warps out of the cave, and...

Chaos warps out of the map. Well, fuck. That's Almachus's plan down the drain already.

You idiot! Are you trying to get yourself killed?!

......

You can't fight in your condition...

Pah. A vulnerary and she's good as new.

Just focus on running for now.

You there! Find those intruders who escaped and bring them to me!

Yes, Father Arzovy. As you command.

More intruders...? Likely their associates...

Hah! You'd sooner catch me dead than "associating" myself with the likes of Faramir.

Very well, defend the altar! The Obelisks will protect us. Send word to Nizal and the others! Place the entire area on alert!

Right. Objective is to kill the garbage man of the day. If those two die it's game over fun time.

Faye has very low HP and is injured. Notice, however, that she's exactly 20 HP away from full. And injuries are cured by full heals. See where I'm going with this?

Now, Arzovy is right here.

Hilariously enough, we could finish the battle right here if Faramir got two hits on him. I suppose that's what LTCers do on this map. If they ever get it, of course.

However...

...It's not what I will be doing, because 25% hitrate with Swordbane on top is absurdly low odds. Getting an instant map end with a crit would be absolutely hilarious, but I doubt it'll happen without 20 resets at least, so let's just ignore the good garbage man for now. We want to get someone with a different weapon of choice, and we also want to destroy the obelisks surrounding him before we confront him.

Just notice that he has a material and the only dark orb that Erzheimer still doesn't have. The material is impossible to miss, but if he dodges enough attacks he might have enough time to eat through the sleep orb. That'd be too sad.

Incidentally, Faramir starts in sleep range. And Arzovy, unlike most bosses, moves first. So... yeah. Might want to do something about that.

I can move him away and get started on the first obelisk at the same time. That's awesome.

Hah! I am neck-deep in sin already. I'm not even baptized! I'm going straight to hell, regardless of whether I destroy these obelisks or not.

Next turn it'll go down.

That could be trouble... He has double the defense Faye has, but it's still nothing to write home about...

Okay, good.

Let's not waste more time. Faye, heal up!

And with that-- D'oh!

No... No...

D'ohhhhh!

Okay, he wasn't poisoned. Thank fuck.

Now, for this guy...

He has a gore fork, an Erzheimer item. I want it. To that end, let us see if I can injure him.

First, though, we want to remove this annoying structure granting him protection.

Let's go.

Neat. And now...

Notice Adel has moved forward? He will lure the pitchforker closer, and then Vantage him with the harpoon. This will hopefully suffice to inflict an injury.

While we wait, healing for Leon.

Sherlock shoots the obelisk. I don't know how a couple arrows could hope to bring down a huge stone spike, but sure.

Oki-dokie. Now we wait.

Please don't miss, Adel. It won't be the end of the world if you do, but I'd like if you didn't.

Ahh, what a shame.

Good one!

Okay, no problem. I have a plan B. This guy, as well as the priest who attacked Leon, have darkmend orbs. Perhaps I can get them to heal the gore fork enemy.

In addition, this fellow is carrying a dark mace, yet another Erzie item. And, here's the thing: he has to unequip it to use darkmend. See where I'm going with this? Ideally, I'd like to get both this and the gore fork, but we'll see what happens.

By the way, he has Arrowbane. For no reason. That's fun.

Anyway, to prevent this guy from going after my units with his brave pitchfork, Thaddy provokes him.

You are very small!

Kid, I'm gonna whoop your ass!

Ahhh-- Fuck! Why did we decide to build here, of all places!?

Another one has gone swimming in the swamp... Sigh... How many times must I tell everyone not to do that?

Oh dear, there goes the swamp. Unlike TRS's swamp, this one can kill, so we'd better tread lightly.

Now that the gore fork guy is provoked, perhaps I'll have some of the units head south to confront this fellow.

Nizal is the most amazing Raze priest. He has Vantage and Prepared to give melee attackers a nasty surprise, Swordbane to ruin Faye and Faramir's great escape, and too many orbs. Also, the healing charm. That's annoying.

In any case, that's the first obelisk downed.

 

You'd probably have better luck if you had more than, like, 10 units. And if you actually, y'know, moved.

Oh, fuck!

He's poisoned, too... Hmmmm... Well, it's probably worth the risk.

There goes obelisk nº 2!

 

Boohoo. Cry me a river.

I like how that forkman overthere has made no attempts to pursue Faye. Well, fine by me.

You've lived long enough. Time to meet your maker.

You son of a bitch...

Nice, she saved it!

Hammer? What, is Raze Thor now? That cannot be, the name is already taken...

A coin!

Nice. Now we play the waiting game again.

Well, I suppose there's no harm in harming him a bit in the meantime.

...I instantly realized this was a mistake.

And of course he nails him this time around.

Here you go, you fool. Have some healing. Now, could you please try to run to a spot where you're... not swimming in the swamp while surrounded by the entire enemy army?

You don't understand, doc! This kid insulted me and I gotta whoop his ass!

...Sigh... The things I have to deal with...

See, the problem with this is that now I can't have Owen use blizzard. He'd kill the man. If I hadn't attacked with Perceval, he would've been healed enough that I could've tried it. Baaaah...

Fine, we'll try something else. Adel, pass the harpoon onto Leon.

Not bad. Let's try this. I just need an injury, then Thaddy can steal the fork from him.

Meh.

Guess we'll wait some more, maybe?

Let's give Thaddy some space, though. It'd be a disaster if he got whacked twice by the gore fork. He'd get gored!

This goes about as badly as you'd expect. For the enemy, that is!

...Uhhh... Okay. Scratch that.

Oh, shit!

Bwaaaaarghhh! Aaauuugh... no...!

I warned you, man. That's what happens when you don't listen to the doctor. And when you... swim in poisonous bogs. That tends to not help, too.

...damn... you... asshole-- Gwaah!

Ahhh, fuck! Blistering barnacles, that's the gone fork gore. I mean... well you know what I mean. Sigh... Well, no matter. We'll have other chances to get this fork.

...Thaddy's in a slightly tough spot now, but he won't die. In fact, I'd rather let him stay there for the time being. I want him able to jump next to the mace guy without problems. Depending on what he does, it might be possible...

Faramir gulps down a vulnerary, and I just about managed to catch the notification that the poison went away. Convenient!

Since Owen is all the way up there, Perceval will confront Nizal. With 9 magic (thanks, divine brace), he will tank him pretty effectively.

Ahhh, instead of going after Thaddy, this fool has attacked Larentia! That's great, thanks a lot.

Hah! And that's just the cherry on top of the pie.

Ow, jikes! Faramir's taking one hell of a beating today...

I wanted to give that kill to Faye... Ah, well. As it were.

Faramir level?

Bleeehhhh... Such a waste.

What?! You, too? What's wrong with everyone today? Stop swimming in the damn swamp!

Huh? Ahah! The swamp hurt the priest enough for this guy to heal him! And he didn't run too far, either... Hmmm... perhaps... just perhaps...

Okay, okay, let's not be too hasty. Let's think this through.

This guy doesn't kill Thaddy, but I want him to wait before advancing. Just like so.

Huh? Who are you!? G-Get away from me! I'm just the healer...! Y-You wouldn't attack a defenseless healer, would you?

......

(Heh heh heh... he's not attacking me... I think he bought it. And now, as soon as he lowers his guard... with my mace... Eheh heh heh!)

Here's the plan: first thing next turn, Thaddy steals the mace from the man, disarming him. Then, the enemy gets one move. Either the priest or the rogue will attack Thaddy. Neither can kill him, and even if they hit him, Owen is right there and can patch him up to ensure the swamp doesn't fuck us. Then, we will quickly kill the enemy that hasn't moved yet. There's a bit of risk involved, but I think this will work.

Might as well do something with Thaddy. No difference between this and just plain waiting.

I was hoping for a lucky crit. No dice.

Here comes Nizal. It seems he's chosen swarm for his first attack.

Boss theme.

Well, in all fairness, you are probably the most qualified unit in the map to say something like this. You're quite strong. But not enough.

This is a separate battle quote. He says this whenever he casts swarm. I checked, and I don't think he has quotes for thunder and windstorm. A shame.

C'mon, Percy. You always miss. Make the enemy miss too.

Percy... Why must you be such a constant disappointment?

Okay, so Perceval is injured. Better not let him get hurt again, or else we may have to waste a panacea on him.

This is worth a shot. Not range 0, so Vantage does not apply.

Incidentally, he switched to thunder thanks to Prepared. Not that it'll make a difference.

Boom!

Ow! Okay, okay, no problem, Thaddy still can't get killed.

Dammit, the friggin' health charm healed Nizal... So annoying.

Hurr durr! Me make plan to get dark mace! Me forget plan entirely! Me also forget Vantage and Prepared! Hurr!

Fuck me, I hate myself sometimes...

Axel avoided two of the wind blasts, at least. Still, he's in danger now. But not to worry. I did give him a miracle charm. He won't die. Right? Urrrrggh...

Thankfully, Arzovy still acts first, so he just wasted the enemy's move. We've got two moves... Killing Nizal takes first priority now, but with two moves, I think I can afford to do...

...this.

(Now!)

AHAHAHAHAHAH! MAY THE LORD RAZE HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SINFUL SOUL, FILTHY HERETIC! FALL DOWN THE DARK PITS OF DESPAIR, AND SAY ONE FINAL PRAYER TO YOUR GODDESS OF DECEIT AS I PLUNGE YOU INTO THE ETERNAL NOTHING--

...Wait a minute... something isn't right...

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you intended to attack me from behind with this, didn't you?

...! O-Oh, rats...

Well, now that you really are a defenseless healer, I suppose I can turn my back on you for real. See ya!

...W-What... just happened!?

......

...Oh, sweet mother of RNG, have mercy... Pretty sure he only had one sniper arrow at this point, too, so that wasn't an option. This crapshot was my best shot. Surely with two attempts he'll get just one arrow through, right? Right...?

...Oh, God, he can get crit too... Nooooooo!

Oohhhh, phew... hoo, boy... that could've been ugly, so ugly... Thanks for the sudden bout of competence, Sherlock.

Ah, I'm sure he will.

Not bad experience gains. Perhaps I'll be able to level him up today as well.

Grrr... Idiot! Quit swimming in the swamp and kill this pest!

Yes! Wonderful! On top of that, this guy wasted the next move healing a paper cut! Everything is going well...

Time to die.

...Or, you know, you can do that instead. Sure. Fine by me.

No, seriously, what's with this guy's fixation on Larentia? Thaddy is right there, with his 0 magic and lower HP! Why are you doing this, you idiot?

Hurray for you, you nailed her. What now?

Well, how did that work out for you, hmm? Is this the outcome you wanted? Because it's the one you should've expected!

May it be a good one.

Ehh, her HP and reliability are low enough that I'm okay with this.

Finally, someone competent!

Okay... here it comes. Exactly enough HP to survive. If he gets hit. I'd hope not.

...Why'd I have to open my mouth...

Phew... Okay, I'll admit, I was a bit worried. He couldn't have died, but he could've gotten crippled by that...

In that case, the first step is to heal Larentia.

Ah, Owen level! It's... bad, but oh well, what can you do.

That was an overall success.

Arzovy has something to say. Thank you for your input. You know, if you actually moved you might be able to do some harm to us with that sleep orb of yours.

Dang it! Axel's "miracle charm" didn't even outheal the swamp's damage...

Thaddy now dies to the pitchfork man. Thus...

First thing this turn will be for him to run for his life.

Hahahah... Thank you, good man! The pest is off! Yes, run! Run for your life! Ahahaha--

Yes, go after Leon. That's a great idea if I ever saw one.

Very well.

And now for the finisher!

That's my Adel!

Nice, some pocket change.

No! Why would you do that!? Now I'm all alone...!

All right, I think the time has come to go on the offensive.

By that, I mean Larentia is going to whack down the obelisks. Then we will go on the offensive.

She can't attack from there. Too far away, despite what it may seem.

Ah, nice. That is quite great.

Ouchie... Well, better this than the pitchfork's one-shot.

Ahhh, at last! My dumbass finally, FINALLY realized what I gave Axel wasn't a miracle charm. Didn't even realize it myself, either - I had to see it at work to think "hey, did he just get healed? That's not normal, whatever happened there?"

This guy is now completely defenseless. Might as well bully him a bit with daggers.

N-No! Nononono, wait!

What? I'm just gonna rough you up a little bit. Nothing too bad, I promise.

Monster! O Lord Raze, please save your humble servant...!

Nice.

Ahahahah! Not so tough now, are you boy? And now... FACE THE WRATH OF THE ONE TRUE GOD, HERETIC--

I still have you weapon.

...Right. I forgot. You think you could... just... let me borrow that? Only for a couple minutes?

Hmmm... No, I don't think I will. Sorry.

Hmph...

It's a sad day when Perceval succeeds where someone else failed.

GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HOW WAS THAT NECESSARYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!? ITBURNSITBURNSITBURNSITBURNSITBURNS!

Okay, time to begin. Larentia, do the honors!

Oh, that's fine then. See, she's technically not "treading" upon this holy ground.

Ahh, how cool! She got a spear point!

Now, back. I'd like to avoid getting slept. Even if she wouldn't be in any danger.

And now, Sherlock follows up.

Following turn, the obelisk goes down.

 

Well, most of them are dead. One can't even fight anymore. Again, if you'd just move...

Get back, Sherlie.

D'aaaahhh, Perceval! I knew you'd eventually fail! You never fail not to disappoint, if nothing else.

Haah... haah... I won't give up! I won't surrender! My faith is undying...! By the grace of God, I shall prevail...!

No point in stopping now. Let's get the last one!

Ten bucks says we won't.

Yes, good.

I will never be brought down! You can kill my body, but my eternal soul shall join my God in--

Ow!

Wonderful, an injury! I might be able to capture this schmuck. For no greater reason than I like moneys.

GWEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! NOT AGAIN!

Thunder skill? That is fine. Halfway to promotion. Last run he promoted in chapter 13. So... yeah.

Absolutely wonderful.

...Oww... ww...

One more turn, and Arzovy will be left entirely without protection.

Might as well steal the guy's darkmend. We'd get it anyway, but this gives Thaddy some extra experience.

...Huh...?

Hey, congratulations! Looks like you're gonna survive this fight. I'm so happy for you. Hey, mind if I take this? Not that you'll need it in the future.

...Defeated... humiliated... and captured...? No... never... I won't accept... g-gahhh...!

Also, I tried to get Adel to lure this guy closer, but he doesn't seem to want to move. Maybe he's distraught that his dear obelisk has fallen?

Fine by me!

Good work, Adel.

Oh wow, a spear point. 14 to go... Huh. I still think he'll never make it, but... Huh. Promoting Adel would be the perfect event for this LP to match all the others in terms of ridiculousness. So far this is being rather standard for what my runs usually are. You know, bad Kris, godly Marcus, accidental Krishna glitch...

Can I count on you, Sherlock?

Of course not... You're Sherlock.

And he broke the bow, too! Hahah... now that's what I call an exemplary performance!

Try it again.

Good. Thanks for not being completely useless twice in a row.

We'll see. Well, you won't, but we will.

A Sherlock level! If it is a good one...

...Well. It's brought him closer to promotion, I guess.

You can just barely see that we got 250 denarii in coins.

Everyone's... going to our Lord's side... but me...? No... That's not... possible... I've been the most faithful servant... I cannot be... left behind...!

Hey...

The swamp...! It's my... last chance! TAKE ME NOW, LORD RAZE! BRING ME TO YOUR DIVINE DOMAIN, AND ALLOW MY SOUL TO PASS ON TO THE REALM OF--

Nah, I don't think I will.

H-Huh!? W-Who are you!? Where'd you come from...?

Sorry, man. I just don't think your time's up yet. You'll just have to lie down and take it. Them's the breaks.

Ohhh, c'mon! Not again... I wanted to save him for Sherlock!

Well, then. Axel can capture him. Just so the experience doesn't entirely go to waste.

No! Unhand me, you heathen! I-I must know... who is he!? The man there...! Who is he!? Is he with you?!

What man? There's noone overthere.

What!?

I think you're losin' it, mate. Must be the blood loss. C'mon, just follow me. Bet you'll like it in the dungeon.

B-But... the man... could it be--

So long, pal. Maybe we'll see each other again one day. In the meantime, keep being such a devoted fan! Toodles~!

...I-It can't be...

Could be worse.

Some healing for Percy, 'cause I'm tired of seeing him walk around with an injury.

And so, boom goes the final obelisk. The Razites have officially failed.

And yet, if Master Chaos returns to learn I have failed... It would be a fate worse than death... I cannot allow that to happen. If we must die, then so be it! Follow me, comrades! Let us journey forth together into the next world!

Wait, what is happening?

Oh, fuck! He finally decided to bring the fight to us! Now that... the altar is all but gone. Lazy fuck... the only thing that gets him moving is the idea of being tortured by Chaos!

By the way, much like Nizal, Arzovy has lines when he casts his different spells. This is his sleep quote. For his regular battle quote and his nosferatu quote, check the bonus at the end of the update.

Oh, please... No time for naps, Perceval! I don't pay you to sleep on the job!

I knew these'd come in handy at some point.

Up!

And now, let's get this guy.

Kablooie! Not so tough without your little spires, are you?

Might as well!

Hah! Absolutely wonderful.

I like how these two didn't buy Arzovy's shitty suicide speech, and are just hanging back while he kills himself via Sinon Knights. Eh, I could probably try to circle around and kill them, but it's too much work.

You can have him, Perceval.

Aaaaaaaaand fuck.

Again!

At least he didn't waste two uses of dire thunder. That would've been annoying.

Yeah, yeah, nobody cares. Die, and yield your items to me!

And the experience, of course. 36 experience and he can use lightning.

Nice haul!

All right, that would be all. Not bad! That went pretty well. Shame about the gore fork, but we'll find an enemy later on that drops it, so I'm not worried. With the dark mace in the sack, I think there's just one last problematic Erzheimer item, and all the rest will be dropped by enemies sooner or later. I think we stand a good chance to complete his quest.

Next time, we watch the aftermath to this mission, and move on to the next. I think I'll do Stolen Sword, and then we'll finally get to the chapter's own sidequests... or, well, sidequest, because Christine was needed for the second one. The end of this seemingly neverending chapter draws ever closer... Farewell, and wait patiently for the next update! Adios~!

 

Death count: Christine
                        Esteban
                        Czene
                        Faye x 2

* Unavailable

Capture count: 2 (Daoud, Elbert)

Cripple count: 1 (Perceval)

Reset count: 3 (Ward: 1, Abus: 2)

 

Current perfect streak: Sorry nothing

Best perfect streak: 6 maps

 

BONUS: Couple quotes I missed.

Arzovy's nosferatu quote. He doesn't seem to have a regular battle quote.

The final obelisk guard's death quote. Puzzlingly, he has no battle quote.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Did you see that? How I handled that guy? I spared his life, and offered words of wisdom to him in his time of need! That's exactly the kinda stuff you dig, right? Mercy on the faithful and such? C'mon, you have to admit that was cool as heck!

...I suppose your behavior was... acceptable...

Heh... One of these days you'll have to admit what a mistake you made when you left me.

You just don't get it, do you, Raze?

 

 

[Punished Dayni]

Spoiler

19 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Why? Because you don't like him, or because it doesn't seem like the kind of character I'd enjoy?

The poor guy has everything go wrong for him in every possible way, and still he perseveres out of love for his nation, even though he isn't Ashnard's true heir. Heck, Ashnard's true heir couldn't care less about Daein. Pelleas wasn't a good leader, due to the circumstances and his own lack of charisma and initiative; but his heart was in the right place, and he was willing to sacrifice anything - even his own life - for the sake of his people. That makes me respect him. And... Goddamnit, the guy gives his life to save Daein and it accomplished absolutely fuckin' nothing. How can you not feel at least a bit of pity for a man who suffers such a horrendous fate?

I wasn't expecting you to like a Tellius character much in general.

I really forgot who it was I was talking to. Like poor Pelleas. I swear he looked into spirits in order to have a friend in his lonesome youth.

19 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes, I remember the line. I wish they'd done more with Micaiah's hatred for Ike. They just... kinda dropped the plot point. The writers were too focused on sucking Ike's dick, I feel.

That line's more at Sothe's expense than her disliking Ike.

And yeah, there was not enough done there. Hell, it could have impacted on the start of Part 4 after Yune leaves and led to the splitting of the party (Which I think was stupid as is stood).

20 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

For the record, the Overwatch archer and the archer with Canto were two separate archers. Fair enough on the Canto guy (not because of Canto, but because of his annoying arrows, his triple-fire bow and the fact that he moved), but the Overwatch guy was a joke. He didn't move and he was completely out of the way. Absolute non-issue.

Well I apologise for that brain fart.

20 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The club of having your name spelled incorrectly. Come to think about it, you too belong in that club, don't you, Daysi?

I did realise which club it was after replying.

Good thing I would argue against as I then changed my name to Daysi so that it was correct for some time, therefore I do not sit in the same club as Volcens.

21 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That's reasonable. But why does Sylvis hate Shaiah, then? Hard to imagine she'd single out this random member of Weiss's crew.

Maybe she heard she kicked a puppy or something and went full "FUCK YOU" about her.

21 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Actually, one thing I've noticed with your edits (all of them, in fact) is that either you are colorblind or your editing software does funky things with the colors, because the colors are always a bit different from the original. Here, for example: my tunic is purple, whereas it was originally a pale blue. Your things seem to feature people with yellow faces, too.

Not trying to call you out on it like it's a bad thing or anything. Just a funny little detail I've noticed.

Actually I've figured it out with this comment.

It's not the editing software and it was never colour blindness: it's the browser (Well to be precise it's the colour processing in my os that the browsers use I think). Both of them. For some reason neither show the colour ranges 100% correct and when I put it into GIMP it actually gave me the correct blue, which I then assumed was incorrect because the browser images had a light purple. This has been happening the whole time and I didn't realise it until you said it.

Guess I'm trusting my faithful GIMP from now on.

25 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I neglected to mention it, but... Entirely scripted. These fights cannot go any other way.

I figured.

It'd be hilarious if Tensberger completely wrecked Ruby with an accidental crit and you were locked out of the end of their arcs, but that's suck too.

26 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

A shotgun against plate armor?

Oh it'd tear the fuck out of it.

Why do you think plate armour has faded into the past?

27 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I don't think Clifford has a cow. "Dishonor on your bottle" would probably be more appropriate.

In context, what he calls a cow is actually a horse.

So it's still correct.

28 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh yeah, Ruby should probably pick it up and smash it when her dad's not looking. Otherwise, we're left to assume that he's never going to return to Alex's bar and that everything will be peachy from now on.

I suspect that we won't see him having to confront his potentially crippling alcohol addiction, but imagine if there was a scene where Ruby helps him change his relationship with drink.

Then Alez gets mad because Clifford's a good customer.

29 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Or, heck, swamp maps that aren't deadly. Swamps can be truly beautiful places. If you google the word "swamp", you don't get cesspools, you get fucking amazing landscapes. And... This image, for some undiscernible reason.

True, but I was thinking about maps with potentially dangerous terrain and how swamps only really make sense there in specific contexts. Hell, give me a bog map! Random spots sink you very deep and become a challenge to escape. Or if you're small potentially drown like I might have once.

As for the image, It's sorta accurate. Only it should be a swamp of toxic trash.

29 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The poor bagmen. Why assume they're all evil? Some just like the way they look, you know!

In these times, I can see them profiling on attire. And at least it's a matter of choice in what they wear (Do Raze faithful wear anything else?) and not something stupid like race.

Get the social distancing lancers to bring them in.

31 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Today's team. I hate it, but Derrick sits this one out too. He cannot move through swamps. He'd be stuck up there.

An explanation for why he can't go into these swamps.

32 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Chaos is unarmed? Hell yeah, then we've got this in the bag! I guess Almachus's guy just mistook... I dunno, a reflection of the light or something for a blade in his hand.

Catching Chaos sounds hard.

Unlike catching Chaos.

33 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Let us go. To start, Faye charges into a cave where Chaos is waiting for her. Ahh, I see, he's unarmed because he has full confidence in the abilities of his bodyg--

...Well, shoot, that was quick. Buff myrmidon, everyone!

Guy has less defence than Faye.

33 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, he's still unarmed. I don't see how he could--

HEY! HEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYY! THAT'S BULLSHIT, WHAT A LOAD OF BULLSHIT! HE PRODUCED A BLADE OUT OF NOWHERE!!

Good thing it wasn't Vajra.

34 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

See? Right on cue, Faramir arrives. I have to wonder why he always waits for her to get wrecked before he appears, though... Five minutes ago wouldn't have been so bad, either. You think he just prefers women when they're all bloodied up and vulnerable?

...Oh, God, that's just awful-- Faye, get out of here...! Flee! Flee from the childish maniac in the cloak, the stalker with the damisel fantasies and the ugly tactician who uses you as a sacrificial lamb!

He only gets his Faye sense when she's in actual danger.

As opposed to all the other times where it's fake danger.

And yes, please run Faye.

35 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh, shit! He can move very fast! It's almost is he's... he's... a generic anime swordsman!

You know, just once I want one of these edgy types to try this nonsense, trip over a rock and fall flat on his face. Please tell me one such clip exists. Where's Golb when you need him...?

I am pretty sure there's a gag in at least 25% of shonen in the last while.

I couldn't tell you where to go though.

35 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

.......

Ah, well. I guess from one creep to another... Not gonna lie, this leaves me rather unsatisfied. Patience, Ruben... Faye's revenge, and mine, will arrive in time...

How does he actually swing here though?

35 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh boy, time limit? Nope. Chaos never comes back.

Of course not, he has to go back to Raze to pick up his swords.

37 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hilariously enough, we could finish the battle right here if Faramir got two hits on him. I suppose that's what LTCers do on this map. If they ever get it, of course.

However...

...It's not what I will be doing, because 25% hitrate with Swordbane on top is absurdly low odds. Getting an instant map end with a crit would be absolutely hilarious, but I doubt it'll happen without 20 resets at least, so let's just ignore the good garbage man for now. We want to get someone with a different weapon of choice, and we also want to destroy the obelisks surrounding him before we confront him.

Just notice that he has a material and the only dark orb that Erzheimer still doesn't have. The material is impossible to miss, but if he dodges enough attacks he might have enough time to eat through the sleep orb. That'd be too sad.

Anti-rushing mechanics at work.

37 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hah! I am neck-deep in sin already. I'm not even baptized! I'm going straight to hell, regardless of whether I destroy these obelisks or not.

I'm a little surprised at the lack of baptism considering you're from Spain.

Just seems statistically low.

39 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Nizal is the most amazing Raze priest. He has Vantage and Prepared to give melee attackers a nasty surprise, Swordbane to ruin Faye and Faramir's great escape, and too many orbs. Also, the healing charm. That's annoying.

Kaga telling swords to fuck off for once.

Strange from him.

47 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hammer? What, is Raze Thor now? That cannot be, the name is already taken...

The hammer is truly the most versatile of divine wraths.

48 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Bwaaaaarghhh! Aaauuugh... no...!

I warned you, man. That's what happens when you don't listen to the doctor. And when you... swim in poisonous bogs. That tends to not help, too.

...damn... you... asshole-- Gwaah!

Perceval had his kill stolen!

50 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

(Now!)

AHAHAHAHAHAH! MAY THE LORD RAZE HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SINFUL SOUL, FILTHY HERETIC! FALL DOWN THE DARK PITS OF DESPAIR, AND SAY ONE FINAL PRAYER TO YOUR GODDESS OF DECEIT AS I PLUNGE YOU INTO THE ETERNAL NOTHING--

...Wait a minute... something isn't right...

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you intended to attack me from behind with this, didn't you?

...! O-Oh, rats...

Thaddy proceeds to scale down the swampy cliffface while the obelisks explode behind him.

It becomes the opening of Goreforkeye.

51 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, now that you really are a defenseless healer, I suppose I can turn my back on you for real. See ya!

...W-What... just happened!?

You're lucky Reese isn't here, he'd probably kill you himself. I don't want to see that face again.

54 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Might as well steal the guy's darkmend. We'd get it anyway, but this gives Thaddy some extra experience.

...Huh...?

Hey, congratulations! Looks like you're gonna survive this fight. I'm so happy for you. Hey, mind if I take this? Not that you'll need it in the future.

...Defeated... humiliated... and captured...? No... never... I won't accept... g-gahhh...!

That's just disappointing to see happen, stripped of everything you have.

Thaddy took his dignity with that darkmend.

55 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The swamp...! It's my... last chance! TAKE ME NOW, LORD RAZE! BRING ME TO YOUR DIVINE DOMAIN, AND ALLOW MY SOUL TO PASS ON TO THE REALM OF--

Nah, I don't think I will.

H-Huh!? W-Who are you!? Where'd you come from...?

Sorry, man. I just don't think your time's up yet. You'll just have to lie down and take it. Them's the breaks.

Tried to kill himself, god lets him know he's not wanted. That is the worst way to confirm god exists.

Also, I wasn't expecting we'd get to see Raze any time soon if at all. Oh now.

55 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

So long, pal. Maybe we'll see each other again one day. In the meantime, keep being such a devoted fan! Toodles~!

@RazeCraze: Sup mah razite squad! I wanna thank all y'all for continuing to follow me in my quest to catch up to ma boo @OTVeria! With all your thoughts and prayers I'm one step closer to my goal to #GetVeria! TA especially @Perfect_Urbanus, @Chaos_ConTROLL and @THE_HERMAN!

@OTVeria: Please stop I've gotten a restraining order that literally keeps me just over the horizon from you at all times I'd rather not get something more serious.

Warning, I am talking about politics this time.

A bit too gleefully at that. Fair warning.

Spoiler

Ah golf, that most controversial of sports.

Or at least it is here right now because an event organised by our government's (technically our legislative members but hush) golf society (made of people that are elected by the state) made the story of the month by arranging an event this week amidst rising case numbers and pissing off a fuckton of people because of sheer brazen hypocrisy. The event's being investigated by the gards, a minister resigned (after having bitched about not getting to be a minister and then getting the position of a lad who resigned in disgrace over a driving offence) and others have stepped back from positions/lost party whips, our EU commissioner's under particular pressure (Well earned imo, but that's getting into other stuff) and the rest of the government is scrambling having to deal with the fallout. Meanwhile many media commentators won't just accept that this event is a step too far for most and some are trying to make the actual opposition look like the bad guys in all this. When not one of them was there. This story has legs and I am loving it honestly.

And none of it will prevent the likely rise in numbers and second lockdown when schools reopen next week. Well crap.

[Hanes]

Spoiler

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Marvelous. I don't think I can surpass that, so... Let's just say this: I see.

Y- ok fine it's time to stop, but I had fun.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Second-worst map in the game for me, and I'll thank you not to mock me for it. Or have I ever called you a casual bitch for not beating the games I like?

I knew it was a bad idea to say it like that back then. I will apologize for it. It was uncalled for, and no bullshit-apology corporation-level here, I'm wrong on that.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Sorry. I'll admit, your passive-aggressive attitude with the reddit jargon ticked me off. I apologize.

Nah it's my fault. And I guess I do agree, it is a painstakingly slow process. Plus I suck way more.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...I apologize for the angry tirade. It really wasn't my intention to bitch and moan this much, but the truth is, I don't find Echoes to be a well-designed game or one that's much fun to play. Great visuals, but there's not much else to the game from my perspective.

Again, the fault is mine here.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You'll have to forgive me if I want more than "eight cavaliers on a field" or "overpowered mages on a hill" or "zombie spam!" in my FE maps. Villages, treasure, NPCs to protect, optional bosses, recruits, items... Stuff like that! That's what I want in my FE!

I know this goes one box up but I wanted the apology stuff up.

Regarding this, I guess you're right. I hold too much of a soft spot to Echoes due to everything else.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

This is physically painful.

It was to type it in too.

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You asked for it!

LMaooooooo

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You know, just once I want one of these edgy types to try this nonsense, trip over a rock and fall flat on his face. Please tell me one such clip exists. Where's Golb when you need him...?

Lol yeah.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hah! I am neck-deep in sin already. I'm not even baptized! I'm going straight to hell, regardless of whether I destroy these obelisks or not.

I remember you once mentioned sth about not being a catholic, mind telling me what you are? Atheist I guess (I don't really mind, if you are or aren't religious. To clarify)

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You are very small!

Kid, I'm gonna whoop your ass!

OK that's just hilarious. No overreaction or anything, sounds like a sincere "Kiddo, ya can't"

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

GWEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! NOT AGAIN!

Man you made me love some random generic.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

All right, that would be all. Not bad! That went pretty well. Shame about the gore fork, but we'll find an enemy later on that drops it, so I'm not worried. With the dark mace in the sack, I think there's just one last problematic Erzheimer item, and all the rest will be dropped by enemies sooner or later. I think we stand a good chance to complete his quest.

Wait I thought you fucked up the Erzhimler's items and missed one? Could be misremembering.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Did you see that? How I handled that guy? I spared his life, and offered words of wisdom to him in his time of need! That's exactly the kinda stuff you dig, right? Mercy on the faithful and such? C'mon, you have to admit that was cool as heck!

...I suppose your behavior was... acceptable...

Heh... One of these days you'll have to admit what a mistake you made when you left me.

You just don't get it, do you, Raze?

Oh cool it so happens these two know each other and are real in the lore, instead of only one wait nvm this is your fanfiction

 

Edited August 23, 2020 by This boi uses Nino

[Golb89]

[Addendums]

Spoiler

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

It's just the crossbowman that could get troublesome...

https://www.reddit.com/r/0sanitymemes/comments/ieb5xg/works_with_apple_pie_as_well/

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Uhhh, Reese level!

Pretty great! I can't wait for his promotion.

 

On 8/10/2020 at 9:09 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Jesus, saddest capture quote, saddest death quote, saddest epitaph... Thank goodness his ending's nice, at least. Just gotta get him there alive...

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

In case anyone was wondering where they stashes all of those (but even if they weren't):

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

So... Yeah, you know all those times we joked about Volcens not releasing Larentia because he forgot about her? Yeah. As it turns out, that's the real reason. Volcens completely forgot about her. Our liege, ladies and gentlemen.

Pretty sure it applied to Reese too at some point:

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

I like how he's actually right. It was Reese's idea. He's making Jung take the fall for both of 'em. Jesus... Reese is horrible!

 

On 8/14/2020 at 12:38 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Derrick and Axel get food because I like them. Not much else.

 

[Replies]

Spoiler

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I do like how the game itself is less popular than the porn featuring its characters--

Dunno about porn, but there where tons of webcomics parodizing/referencing it back when it first came out, way more than TF2 for sure (but also way less than LoL)

 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, yes, strategy game limitations. Don't forget patiently waiting for the enemies to take their turns instead of just... you know, fighting back.

 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That's... not quite what the broadaxe looks like, but sure, let's go with that.

 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

He looks like the kind of character who'd die halfway through the story!

That role was already taken:

https://www.reddit.com/r/arknights/comments/i7qaiy/aces_final_message/

 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I just noticed she's carrying a crane gun. Why...?

Well...

... try and take a wild guess.

 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Did you just get these characters recently? Don't think I've ever seen them before.

Nope (aside Snowsant), but that doesn't really matter anyway as i just take their quotes when i think they've become relevant (or rather, when i remember about them)

And you've definitely seen Faye Melantha in action several times already:

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I think you should go to sleep, because you look like you haven't gotten any rest in the last 27 years.

That'd be me, actually.

(Though it might not be too far fetched for her either...)

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hah! You wish! We've still so many missions ahead of us.

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That... cannot be convenient for fighting. Unless she weaponizes the sleeves as well.

Unfortunately, she doesn't.

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Beautiful. That's even more wasteful than Berwick furniture.

Can Berwick's furniture do this though?

 

(I'd like to mention that those Derricks have very high defense and that the True Silverslash skill does NOT bypass defense)

Also: this.

(CE means "Cargo Escort", btw)

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Female Rosecchar. She even kinda has the same scary eyes! If... If you use your imagination, she does!

https://www.reddit.com/r/arknights/comments/g98epf/kroosposting1_redsaria_saria_if_you_read_this_plz/

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, so she's an engineer, is she?

More like a blacksmith/craftsman.

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Ah.

I actually intended to post this there instead, but then i forgot (in my defence, it was past 5 am...)

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Come now, how much damage could a miniature crane do--

Not much actually, but...

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I'd just like to point out that Ulrich is a male name. So... yeah. It's a trap.

It's her surname though.

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Wha-- Why is that an anime where toddlers carry AKs around!?

They are high-school students and carry beam rifles (which look a lot like WA2000s)

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Sorry. I couldn't help myself. Feel free to make fun of spanish in return.

As you wish.

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

So the Taunt Fairy is just... an insult fairy? Okay...

Not quite:

https://www.reddit.com/r/girlsfrontline/comments/9nu5ji/madcores_loading_screen_comic_9_battle_fairies/

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, yes. I too remember the "Plum and the Slaver" arc.

I was more about the "we are just a small PMC detachment of a small army of a small country in a war involving the whole continent and which is mostly progressing on other fronts than ours" though.

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, it's that one anime everyone likes, but I see the 1000 episode count and nope the hell outta there! Sorry, but I don't want to spend the next three years watching one anime I probably won't even like.

Same here!

Gintama being the exception, of course (but you most likely already guessed it...)

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It looks more like a thin stick than a spear. But what do I know. I can't see the tip.

It's more like an halberd, actually.

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hurray. Now's when this post brings us to page 26.

But it didn't.

(Yet)

 

[Saint Rubenio]

Part 57 - Of thieves and dorks.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA:

Spoiler

On 8/23/2020 at 2:02 AM, Dayni said:

  Hide contents

I wasn't expecting you to like a Tellius character much in general.

Hey, I don't like the games (debatable in RD's case, I enjoyed it enough to not quit it, something even Three Houses can't say), but the stories are good. Worse than the hype would imply? For sure, but not bad by any means.

I really forgot who it was I was talking to. Like poor Pelleas. I swear he looked into spirits in order to have a friend in his lonesome youth.

Oh yeah, that's exactly it. He had nobody in the entire world to care for him, so he became a friggin' necromancer to speak to the spirits.

I like to imagine that, if Pelleas lives, Almedha got over her obsessive issues and adopted Pelleas after the end of the game, in a healthier way this time. They're both all alone otherwise, and it's not like Almedha's going to get any love from her actual son. Y'know, Mr. "Humans Are Shameless Creatures". Those two deserve better.

That line's more at Sothe's expense than her disliking Ike.

Of course, but... It's more about what it implies.

And yeah, there was not enough done there. Hell, it could have impacted on the start of Part 4 after Yune leaves and led to the splitting of the party (Which I think was stupid as is stood).

It would've been pretty cool if Micaiah had refused to work with the man who destroyed her homeland. On the other hand, that would've been the perfect opportunity to make her look like the bad guy and have boring Ike hijack the story even more than he already does, so... meh.

Honestly, all my problems with Radiant Dawn begin and end with Ike. All of them. All of them! Even the gameplay ones! The one time I enjoyed Ike was when he was getting skewered by Tauroneo!

Well I apologise for that brain fart.

No problem.

I did realise which club it was after replying.

Good thing I would argue against as I then changed my name to Daysi so that it was correct for some time, therefore I do not sit in the same club as Volcens.

I love how you go out of your way to make this contrived argument just so you aren't in the same hypothetical club as Volcens.

You do know that Herman is in the club of not having your name misspelled, right? Which one do you prefer, Herman or Volcens?

Maybe she heard she kicked a puppy or something and went full "FUCK YOU" about her.

Jesus, that escalated quickly...

Actually I've figured it out with this comment.

It's not the editing software and it was never colour blindness: it's the browser (Well to be precise it's the colour processing in my os that the browsers use I think). Both of them. For some reason neither show the colour ranges 100% correct and when I put it into GIMP it actually gave me the correct blue, which I then assumed was incorrect because the browser images had a light purple. This has been happening the whole time and I didn't realise it until you said it.

Ahh, so it's the browser that's colorblind.

Then... Throughout all these LPs, you've been seeing yellow faces? That's so weird...

Guess I'm trusting my faithful GIMP from now on.

Please do.

I figured.

It'd be hilarious if Tensberger completely wrecked Ruby with an accidental crit and you were locked out of the end of their arcs, but that's suck too.

That'd be very pre-Berwick Kaga.

Oh it'd tear the fuck out of it.

Why do you think plate armour has faded into the past?

I said nothing, then.

In context, what he calls a cow is actually a horse.

So it's still correct.

Oh my God... The poor horse! Why do you wish dishonor on it? Doesn't it have enough problems, being sat upon by that guy of all guys?

I suspect that we won't see him having to confront his potentially crippling alcohol addiction, but imagine if there was a scene where Ruby helps him change his relationship with drink.

Then Alez gets mad because Clifford's a good customer.

That'd be awesome. Oh, well. A shame. If the game won't do it, I can always do the next best thing... You know, like with the slaver.

True, but I was thinking about maps with potentially dangerous terrain and how swamps only really make sense there in specific contexts. Hell, give me a bog map! Random spots sink you very deep and become a challenge to escape.

Bogs would be great. I mean, hell, this is stated to be a "poisonous bog" in the story, but then you get there and it's just swamp.

Or if you're small potentially drown like I might have once.

Oof... That does not sound reassuring.

As for the image, It's sorta accurate. Only it should be a swamp of toxic trash.

Ahahahahah... hey, I wasn't saying it was not accurate. I was just commenting on the emotional whiplash of going from beautiful landscapes to... that.

In these times, I can see them profiling on attire. And at least it's a matter of choice in what they wear (Do Raze faithful wear anything else?) and not something stupid like race.

Counterargument: Almachus.

Get the social distancing lancers to bring them in.

I love that this is what they're known for now.

An explanation for why he can't go into these swamps.

Oh, Jesus...

Catching Chaos sounds hard.

Unlike catching Chaos.

Indeed, I believe so. Catching Chaos is far more difficult than catching Chaos.

Guy has less defence than Faye.

0, to be precise.

He must also have like 12 HP to get one-shot by her.

Good thing it wasn't Vajra.

He's not that powerful. Thank goodness!

He only gets his Faye sense when she's in actual danger.

As opposed to all the other times where it's fake danger.

I guess that is true.

And yes, please run Faye.

I don't even know which of the three is worse!

I am pretty sure there's a gag in at least 25% of shonen in the last while.

I couldn't tell you where to go though.

That's why I was asking. I'll never find it on my own.

How does he actually swing here though?

Of course not, he has to go back to Raze to pick up his swords.

How long can it take to pick up a couple of swords? He can warp!

Anti-rushing mechanics at work.

Until they don't work. The chance of victory is there. Not that it's worth taking. Those dark maces are the easiest to access in the entire game, and the fork is great too if you can manage it. Unless you're going for the LTC, skipping this map is completely worthless. I mean, heck, I'm pretty sure there's no turn ranking in this game - if you're going for rankings, you want to get everything you can in each map! You need to buy all the furniture, skipping money would be completely detrimental to a rankings run!

I'm a little surprised at the lack of baptism considering you're from Spain.

Just seems statistically low.

Surprising, isn't it? The truth is, my mother is not spanish, and my father dislikes the church. My grandparents from both sides were opposed, from what I heard, but in the end they didn't cave in, and so I was raised a child of sin.

When I was in elementary school, this one classmate would bully me by telling me I was going to Hell. She also bashed my head against a metal door one time. But I'm the one who's going to Hell, apparently, because I never had water sprinkled on my head. Funny how that works.

Kaga telling swords to fuck off for once.

Strange from him.

Never forget, Berwick Kaga is unlike otherwise Kaga. Maybe the lack of his trademark bullshit was another attempt to avoid legal persecution by Ninty?

The hammer is truly the most versatile of divine wraths.

It does cover a greater area than, say, an axe.

Perceval had his kill stolen!

The one time he could've missed and it wouldn't have mattered that much...

Thaddy proceeds to scale down the swampy cliffface while the obelisks explode behind him.

It becomes the opening of Goreforkeye.

Ahahahahahahahahahah... Can't say I get the connection, but this is still a good excuse to reminisce about your glorious Twrysvelian edit.

You're lucky Reese isn't here, he'd probably kill you himself. I don't want to see that face again.

I don't think anyone does, Thaddy. But we will. Oh, will we ever.

That's just disappointing to see happen, stripped of everything you have.

Thaddy took his dignity with that darkmend.

A capture would've accomplished the same thing. But nope. Gotta pour salt on the wound.

Tried to kill himself, god lets him know he's not wanted. That is the worst way to confirm god exists.

Also, I wasn't expecting we'd get to see Raze any time soon if at all. Oh now.

Well, I don't think the gods are ever seen in this game (like the TRS gods), so I decided to have a little bit of fun.

@RazeCraze: Sup mah razite squad! I wanna thank all y'all for continuing to follow me in my quest to catch up to ma boo @OTVeria! With all your thoughts and prayers I'm one step closer to my goal to #GetVeria! TA especially @Perfect_Urbanus, @Chaos_ConTROLL and @THE_HERMAN!

I love how you include Herman here.

@OTVeria: Please stop I've gotten a restraining order that literally keeps me just over the horizon from you at all times I'd rather not get something more serious.

I'm glad you remember that event. I was a bit worried people would've forgotten and the joke would look weird.

Warning, I am talking about politics this time.

A bit too gleefully at that. Fair warning.

Oh boy...

  Hide contents

Ah golf, that most controversial of sports.

But is Mario Golf controversial?

Or at least it is here right now because an event organised by our government's (technically our legislative members but hush) golf society (made of people that are elected by the state) made the story of the month by arranging an event this week amidst rising case numbers and pissing off a fuckton of people because of sheer brazen hypocrisy. The event's being investigated by the gards, a minister resigned (after having bitched about not getting to be a minister and then getting the position of a lad who resigned in disgrace over a driving offence) and others have stepped back from positions/lost party whips, our EU commissioner's under particular pressure (Well earned imo, but that's getting into other stuff) and the rest of the government is scrambling having to deal with the fallout. Meanwhile many media commentators won't just accept that this event is a step too far for most and some are trying to make the actual opposition look like the bad guys in all this. When not one of them was there. This story has legs and I am loving it honestly.

All that over a golf match... Couldn't the impatient assholes have waited for things to calm down? If it was so important for them to play golf right this instant... Why couldn't they have played Mario Golf online instead!?

And none of it will prevent the likely rise in numbers and second lockdown when schools reopen next week. Well crap.

School start is going to be rocky everywhere. I'm pretty sure in Germany they wanted in-person classes, but had to shut 'em down after a whopping 6 days. Here in Spain, it's probably going to be the same story.

 

On 8/23/2020 at 3:10 AM, This boi uses Nino said:

  Hide contents

Y- ok fine it's time to stop, but I had fun.

All things must come to an end. But yeah, it was a fun chain.

I knew it was a bad idea to say it like that back then. I will apologize for it. It was uncalled for, and no bullshit-apology corporation-level here, I'm wrong on that.

Nah it's my fault. And I guess I do agree, it is a painstakingly slow process. Plus I suck way more.

Again, the fault is mine here.

Ahh, don't beat yourself up. I shouldn't have reacted like I did, either. I apologize for my brazen words as well.

I know this goes one box up but I wanted the apology stuff up.

Regarding this, I guess you're right. I hold too much of a soft spot to Echoes due to everything else.

Hey, that's not a bad thing. You can forgive a game's flaws due to its strengths, and that's perfectly fine. I personally couldn't, in Echoes's case, but it is a game that I can see people enjoying.

I mean, heck, it's not like I'm in any position to be playing holier-than-thou. I love TearRing Saga, and that game is fucking shit! Runs bad, slow, half the maps are bad, Holmes's whole story is garbage... It just has enough strengths for me to forgive the flaws (well, that and Mednafen's speed-up is extremely effective).

Like Eugen. And the extremely unique cast and great maps hidden amidst the bad ones, too. But mostly Eugen.

It was to type it in too.

I am quite glad.

LMaooooooo

Rule of thumb when speaking to me: Do not suggest ridiculous scenarios, lest I be tempted to make a bad edit. Don't believe me? Ask the guys over at @The Roger The Paladin's LP how that worked out for 'em. You know... ask yourself. Because you were there.

Lol yeah.

I'm glad we agree.

I remember you once mentioned sth about not being a catholic, mind telling me what you are? Atheist I guess (I don't really mind, if you are or aren't religious. To clarify)

Indeed, I'm an atheist. Not the "EVERYONE WHO BELIEVES IS A DUMBASS AND I HATE THEM" kind of atheist, mind. My grandmother is a firm believer, and she is the kindest woman I have ever met. I just don't feel the need for religion, personally, and I can't say I put much stock in the idea of a guy with a beard sitting on a throne above the clouds. That being said, I do understand that these beliefs are an important thing for quite a lot of people, and so long as nobody is hurt by them, I respect them wholeheartedly.

...The church could definitely do with less power, though. The things some priests get away with are downright horrifying... They make Saul look like Yoder!

OK that's just hilarious. No overreaction or anything, sounds like a sincere "Kiddo, ya can't"

After so many provovations, I felt I'd try something new.

Man you made me love some random generic.

It's something I'm pretty good at, or so I'm told. Just be glad that this time I didn't give the generic a tragic death. Usually that's how it ends for these guys.

Wait I thought you fucked up the Erzhimler's items and missed one? Could be misremembering.

I've missed a couple, but Erzh...

...Erzhimler...?

...Anyway, as I was saying: Erzheimer's items aren't unique. Most of them are found multiple times throughout the game. There is just one exception, for which I made an exception of my own to the "no savescumming" rule.

In fact, we'll see this exception next update, as the item is found in Stolen Sword!

Oh cool it so happens these two know each other and are real in the lore, instead of only one wait nvm this is your fanfiction

Not just my fanfiction, actually. This is a follow-up of sorts to a citizen request from chapter 4. In it, we were asked to recover a book of poetry for a man at the tavern. In this book, the gods Raze and Veria were depicted as lovers. Raze was a jealous dipshit, so Veria dumped him. He's spent the rest of eternity chasing after her, which, according to the book, is what causes the cycle of day and night.

Four chapters later, I have decided to bring that tale to life. And also make Raze speak like a stereotypical surfer, for no other reason than I find it funny.

 

 

On 8/23/2020 at 3:11 AM, Golb89 said:

[Addendums]

  Hide contents

https://www.reddit.com/r/0sanitymemes/comments/ieb5xg/works_with_apple_pie_as_well/

Hah! This girl is one hell of a one-trick pony, isn't she?

...Pony...

Ah! Horseman! Kill her with fire!

And the bags below your eyes, too...

Well, in her case, I did kinda back them up. Mintz never died.

As for the actual context... Yeah. They're big words. But the day I learn to tell health and miracle charms apart, I shall ensure his safety! ...Totally!

In case anyone was wondering where they stashes all of those (but even if they weren't):

They just have a washing machine in the Middle Ages of Anime? That is difficult to believe. I don't care about the magic, this is the real plothole.

Pretty sure it applied to Reese too at some point:

In fairness, Reese could've brought her up, to Roswick at least. Reese just... sort of went with Jung's deal.

And then he double-crossed him. Because Reese is the good guy.

You know, I just realized her smile is... almost as terrifying as Reese's.

May seems highly unprofessional. If the penguin hat wasn't enough of a clue.

 

[Replies]

  Hide contents

Dunno about porn, but there where tons of webcomics parodizing/referencing it back when it first came out, way more than TF2 for sure (but also way less than LoL)

It is a pretty terrible idea to sing Overwatch's praises to a TF2 fan. Just a friendly warning. Play with fire, and you may get burned, you know?

Also, TF2 was relevant enough to be featured in a few Robot Chicken skits. The Meet The Medic short sits pretty at almost 60 million views, almost double the views of the most popular Overwatch short I could find, Dragons (which has 33 million views). Oh, and TF2 popularized the class-based multiplayer genre (Overwatch wouldn't exist without TF2), and mantains a healthy playerbase of 50000 players at minimum at all times despite being 13 years old.

So yeah. Don't pretend Overwatch is more popular or influential than TF2, because it isn't. Overwatch may be a good game, or it may not, but it cannot match TF2's importance and longevity by a long shot. And no amount of "webcomics" can change that.

...See? See?! This is what I meant! Don't bring up Overwatch in my presence. TF2 fans aren't known for their ability to stand Overwatch's existence.

 

That's one way to use a gun-- Oh wait she threw an axe.

Look at Indiana Jones overthere. She even has a similar kind of revolver!

That role was already taken:

https://www.reddit.com/r/arknights/comments/i7qaiy/aces_final_message/

To be fair, that guy also looks like the kind of character who'd die for dramatic effect. Really, anyone who doesn't look like a generic waifu fits the bill. Which is why the old guy is an anomaly... Kinda like Hanneman. I fully expected Hanneman to be a villain prior to Three Houses's release. Then he turned out to be Best Character. Still can't believe modern IntSys let that guy be playable.

Well...

... try and take a wild guess.

Oh right, that's a thing. I take back the "why". But she still looks ridiculous.

Nope (aside Snowsant), but that doesn't really matter anyway as i just take their quotes when i think they've become relevant (or rather, when i remember about them)

I see.

And you've definitely seen Faye Melantha in action several times already:

Oh, right. Well, forgive me, but ingame characters and fanart characters look and behave so radically different that it's difficult to recognize them as the same person.

That'd be me, actually.

Jesus, get some sleep, man. It's no good to be tired.

(Though it might not be too far fetched for her either...)

Oohhhh right she's the stalker woman.

The text is funny and meta and all, but... I think my favorite part is the dumb suggestive pose and bare back on the Empire General. Just... why? What is that woman's plan? Does she intend to seduce the enemy to her side?

Unfortunately, she doesn't.

Such... a shame.

Can Berwick's furniture do this though?

No, but-- Wait, is that Benjamin getting torn to pieces? No, not Benjamin! Anyone but Benjamin...! Tell me he retreated after that.

(I'd like to mention that those Derricks have very high defense and that the True Silverslash skill does NOT bypass defense)

That... sure sounds impressive. I can even understand the mechanics in this case!

Also: this.

(CE means "Cargo Escort", btw)

That's pretty cool too I guess.

https://www.reddit.com/r/arknights/comments/g98epf/kroosposting1_redsaria_saria_if_you_read_this_plz/

Oh, dear... She's invading other realms!

More like a blacksmith/craftsman.

No no, an engineer.

Sentry goin' up! Erectin' a dispensah! Teleportah comin' up! Packin' up! SPAH SAPPIN' MAH SENTRY! SENTRY DOWN! DISPENSER DOWN! TELEPORTER DOWN! MEDIC! MEEEEEEEEDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC!!

I actually intended to post this there instead, but then i forgot (in my defence, it was past 5 am...)

Why... Why in the world do you write replies to my thread at 5 AM, tho...

Not much actually, but...

That still looks like fun. So it's an okay ability to have.

It's her surname though.

Yeah, I figured. I just wanted to say it's a trap.

...May I ask why the comment section in that page is a political cesspool, though...?

They are high-school students

Don't kid yourself. I know the kind. They're high-school students that look like elementary school students. That's anime for ya.

and carry beam rifles (which look a lot like WA2000s)

Still, a child with a gun is a pretty funky concept for a show...

As you wish.

Ahahahahahah... I love how spanish is always associated to Mexico nowadays, even though it originated here in my homeland.

Then again, I suppose it's true that most Americans don't know Europe isn't just one big country to the left of Russia... Sorry, 'Murican readers, just makin' fun of the stereotypes as always

Not quite:

https://www.reddit.com/r/girlsfrontline/comments/9nu5ji/madcores_loading_screen_comic_9_battle_fairies/

So the Taunt Fairy is just... the Commentator Fairy.

I was more about the "we are just a small PMC detachment of a small army of a small country in a war involving the whole continent and which is mostly progressing on other fronts than ours" though.

Well, I'm just saying, I still remember the "Plum and the Slaver" arc.

Same here!

Gintama being the exception, of course (but you most likely already guessed it...)

Gintama. One of my friends has a similar opinion. I... For me, it's the same thing. I see the 1000 episode count and I just... no, thanks, I don't have the time. 100 episodes is the most I can endure, and that's only because Code Lyoko never fails to send me on a nostalgia trip. Outside of Lyoko, the longest show I've consistently watched has 50 episodes.

It's more like an halberd, actually.

Ahhh I see.

But it didn't.

(Yet)

A success, for you. We'll see what happens next.

 

 

I need a medic bag:

Spoiler

Last time, Faye got into trouble again and Faramir saved her. Again. Today, he will explain himself.

......

Or, he will just stand there silently while the game cuts to black. That works too.

Are you sure you have recovered enough from your injuries?

Yes, I will be fine... I must thank you, Lord Reese. Once again, you saved my life.

You should thank Faramir for that. We simply happened to arrive at an opportune moment.

......

What I am curious about is why you yourself were in that place...

I-I...

High Priest Sakhalin told me your goal is to become stronger. So why were you there, that day?

...I had heard that Chaos was without his stolen divine blade in hand, so I... I sought him out... I believed that, deprived of it, he would be no match for me...

Yes... Chaos was able to defeat my father, one of the greatest warriors in all of Izmil... How could I possibly defeat him, as inexperienced as I am...? I was blinded by revenge, and I failed to recognize my own weakness...

......

Twice now, I have lost to him... By all rights, I should have died long ago, yet still I live... I knew I was too weak, and yet I... I refused to recognize it... I was foolish enough to think I could overcome it with my will alone...

I mean, hardly your fault that Chaos has the ability to produce blades out of nowhere. I'm still bitter about that. He didn't have a sword in his inventory, damnit!

Faye... Is there notihng we can do to help you?

Thank you, Lady Tianna... But I know what I must do.

I will train again under my father. This time, I will make things right.

I see... It will be a shame not to have you fighting alongside us. I look forward to the day when you return with your training complete.

Please write to us before you make your return voyage, and we will be here to welcome you back.

I will. Thank you both!

It seems she wanted to return the belongings she had borrowed from us before returning to Izmil.

Sadly, instant recruitment and promotion was too good a deal. Faye leaves after Altar of Raze, and Faramir with her (but that doesn't matter to us). She will return at the beginning of the next chapter.

I suppose I could've left Altar for last so I could deploy her in the rest of the maps, but at this point I didn't want to risk getting her killed again before I could play her paralogue. She can have her fun after she's been recruited.

Time to make use of the facilities. First off, the atelier.

Halfmann!

...zzzz... zzzz...

What's the cheapest item... Ah, leather shield! Give me that!

...zzz--mmnghh... Mwah...? What?

We're paying one of our debts!

What!? R-Really? I-I mean... Very well, hand over the funds.

Now, here you go. Please take this.

......

What?

This is... This is almost 20 times the amount of money you've paid back... And that is already such a tiny part of what you still owe me...

Ah, don't worry. I swear this time I'll pay you back soon.

That's what you said all those months ago...

Yeah, but take a look. This time, I'm not giving you garbage, am I? I'll want this back soon enough.

...Well... At least you've finally dropped the act...

With the divine brace safely in Halfmann's hands, we can go deliver the latest Erzheimer items.

 

 

See, I could've given him the sleep orb just fine, but the brace took priority over the dark mace. Due to Berwick's shenanigans, it's impossible to bypass one item once Erzie lays eyes on it. I want to keep the brace, so I needed to hide it somewhere Erzheimer couldn't see it. That's where Halfmann comes in.

This little trick costs a small fee of 1 Derrick and 30 denarii. Perfectly affordable, especially considering we would've missed out on 2800 denarii if we hadn't done this.

Wait-- You're already back? You've only been gone for two minutes...

Yes, yes. And?

...Why do I get the feeling that I've been used...?

Just give it back, okay? Okay, see ya around! Fareweeeeeeell~!

Wait! What about the rest of your debts? This isn't nearly enough for me to make a profit....!

Ah, yes, the other debts... I'll pay those... eventually. Sit tight, Halfmann!

...See, dad? This is why I should've become a fisherman, like I wanted...

All right! The next part of Ward And Erzheimer's Wacky Adventures! Let's see what this is all about...

Hello, Sir Ward.

Hmm... You are alone today?

He looks around the room.

I must say, this house seems eerily empty today...

Yes... It is...

......

...Has something happened? Were you robbed?!

Egads! I just hope I don't have to get the things back for him...

What a tragedy... What of Mr. Erzheimer? How is he handling the situation?

At first, he simply laid in bed from the shock, but now...

Now?

Now he is going all across town from pawn shops to flea markets to buy back his collection. He seems to have gone quite a distance in his efforts... He has not returned here to the manor in several days.

And you assume that means he's doing well? He's a known millionaire who cannot fight running around on his own with stacks of fat cash! Remember back when he wanted to hire a Raze priest? Even common mercenaries knew who he was, that's how infamously rich he is! For all you know, he might already have gotten his throat cut in an alley!

......

Ahahahah... To say the least, man. To say the least. It is, after all, one of the quests that lasts the whole friggin' game.

Okay. That done, let's go get ourselves a Stolen Sword.

Not quite... The army has turned a blind eye to the looters, and the temples remain entirely undefended...

What a sad time we live in, that even our sacred grounds are being defiled...

I have no doubt that these looters are after the temples' holy artifacts. Our vaults often store all manner of ancient swords and orbs, holy texts, and other sacred items...

What a disaster... I will consult Lord Reese to ask what he may be able to do to help. I am certain that he will sympathize with you and resolve the matter.

Thank you, Lady Tianna... Please give my best to Lord Reese.

Of course, Madam Quescria.

Yes... The Church's precious history is being stolen away from it. It is truly lamentable...

Tianna, do you know of any vulnerable temples that have yet to be raided?

Madam Quescria told me of a small one called the Shrine of the Forest, which is still safe.

Ward, I have an idea. Let's dispatch a team to defend this shrine and drive any thieves away. Hopefully, rumors will spread that the temples are now being guarded.

Actually, that's not necessarily true. There's too much forest in this Shrine of the Forest for horses to maneuver properly.

I agree, Lord Reese. I will make it so!

So, at this point you may be wondering: "Ruben, what does this have to do with Kramer?"

Well, for starters, there he is.

Lord Reese!

Kramer?! What business do you have to be barging into our office like this?

I have a favor to ask!

You are in no position to be asking favors of Lord Reese! Leave us!

Ward, you need glasses. Can't you see that Kramer is not a young girl? You're only supposed to be a dick to young girls!

That's enough, Ward... What's this favor, Kramer?

I want to help you get rid of the thieves attacking the shrine!

No, we haven't! That's my call, and I'll make it after these scenes are over!

...Why do you want to participate in this mission, Kramer? Why are you so eager to go?

There's a legendary sword kept in the Shrine of the Forest. As I'm sure you know, Lord Reese, I'm rather fond of swords.

...No, actually. You haven't had a single scene since you were introduced in chapter 2. As of right now, you don't really have a character beyond "I want to protect women, even though one of them can hide and the other can dodge better than me so I'm the one that needs protection the most".

Even just once, I want to be able to see that sword for myself...

This "legendary sword"... What exactly is special about it?

I believe I've heard of it, milord. It's called Balmung.

Balmung, in norse mythology, is the sword of Sigurd. It is also known as Gram and Nothung. Sound familiar? Yeah, the game used two of this sword's names for two different blades. And here's the funniest thing: Nothung? It is ALSO used for yet another sword later on in the game. Which means that Kaga did The Last Promise first.

It hails from the time when the Berwick League was first founded by King Gistair the Great.

The Shrine of the Forest was built to honor Alcyone and her sword.

You got it. When I was little, my mother would sing me to sleep with songs of Gistair and Alcyone... Gistair was great, as they say, but my favorite stories were always the songs of Alcyone... With Balmung in hand, she slew countless myriads of the king's foes! Just think of all the history that her sword must've seen over the years!

......

I like how, since they forgot to give this guy any character or backstory the rest of the game, they're... kraming it all into this one scene.

So three years ago, when I turned 14, I ran away from home and joined the mercenary guild here in Navaron.

Also, his backstory is that he's a child soldier. Amazing. Usually, they attempt to make child soldiers in FE semi-acceptable by making them thieves or mages. But here's Kaga, having this guy murder people by slicing them with sharp blades from the ripe age of 14.

And now, I have the chance to see a relic of a legendary hero...

Hmph, now I understand. You're just a child chasing after foolish dreams...

Tch, like you could ever understand...

That's something that I can't allow!

So what you're saying is, you want to protect this sword Balmung yourself?

Yes, Lord Reese! Please...!

...Very well. Ward, add him to the mission.

Yes, milord...

Thanks. I'm really grateful, Lord Reese.

I see that you weren't joking when you said you were fond of swords.

Hoo, boy... I'm not sure if you and Reiss would be fast friends, or bitter enemies.

Lord Reese, I promise to protect Balmung from any and all harm! I swear my own life upon it!

Now, now... That's hardly necessary. It might be a legendary artifact, but it's still just an old sword. It's certainly nothing worth risking life and limb over.

You simply don't understand... General Ward, what could be more worth risking my life than love?

Love... for swords... You're right. I don't understand at all...

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahah... heck, Erzheimer would probably react exactly the same way! Though in his case, I think his solution would be to go to the black market and buy it off the thieves.

Anyway, that's the dialogue dealt with. First step, craft the Tabarzin. Tabarzin is less accurate than the Mjölnir, and it cannot do quite as much damage, but it has a bit of crit and, more importantly, the brave effect. In the right hands, this will be quite the asset.

Oh, I almost forgot! This guy is still here. I gotta get the ransom moneys!

...Surely it couldn't have been Him... H-He acted nothing like how he's depicted in the sacred scriptures... I must've hallucinated that whole encounter... Yes, that's it... Between the bad air and my injuries...

Keep tellin' yourself that. Makes no difference to me, long as you stay faithful! Say, do you know any good pick-up lines? Methinks mine are pretty rad, but they don't ever seem to work on her...

G-Gah...! This rotten dungeon air! Don't they ever ventilate this room!? Guardsman! Open the window, I'm begging you! I'm... suffocating in here...!

...But... there's just bars on the window... it cannot be closed or opened...

...oh...

Hah! Smooth moves. What's your next excuse gonna be?

......

 

Give me moneys, Raze.

Now... I'm not yet sure who I'll bring next time, but for the time being, Clifford gears up.

So does Kramer, since he's force-deployed.

Ruby, too.

Ruby picks up the free plain horse we got in the main mission.

As for Arturo, I buy another plain horse for him. Let's see how long these new horses last.

And that'll be all for today. Next time, we go and rescue sword. Surprisingly enough, the sword won't be the main highlight of the map. Now, allow me to offer my farewells to you, so that you may take them. Or not. It does not matter to me. Anyway, farewell and see ya!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To be continued

Death count: Christine
                        Esteban
                        Czene
                        Faye x 2

* Unavailable

Capture count: 2 (Daoud, Elbert)

Cripple count: 1 (Perceval)

Reset count: 3 (Ward: 1, Abus: 2)

 

Current perfect streak: 1 map

Best perfect streak: 6 maps

 

 

[Hanes]

Spoiler

12 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahh, don't beat yourself up. I shouldn't have reacted like I did, either. I apologize for my brazen words as well.

Alright, good.

13 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hey, that's not a bad thing. You can forgive a game's flaws due to its strengths, and that's perfectly fine. I personally couldn't, in Echoes's case, but it is a game that I can see people enjoying.

I mean, heck, it's not like I'm in any position to be playing holier-than-thou. I love TearRing Saga, and that game is fucking shit! Runs bad, slow, half the maps are bad, Holmes's whole story is garbage... It just has enough strengths for me to forgive the flaws (well, that and Mednafen's speed-up is extremely effective).

Like Eugen. And the extremely unique cast and great maps hidden amidst the bad ones, too. But mostly Eugen.

I was always under the impression that TRS was super good... huh.

14 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I am quite glad.

You's sure's are's new chain?

14 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Rule of thumb when speaking to me: Do not suggest ridiculous scenarios, lest I be tempted to make a bad edit. Don't believe me? Ask the guys over at @The Roger The Paladin's LP how that worked out for 'em. You know... ask yourself. Because you were there.

Oh I know lol. Though it looked more wholesome than anything... eh strangely enough.

15 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Indeed, I'm an atheist. Not the "EVERYONE WHO BELIEVES IS A DUMBASS AND I HATE THEM" kind of atheist, mind. My grandmother is a firm believer, and she is the kindest woman I have ever met. I just don't feel the need for religion, personally, and I can't say I put much stock in the idea of a guy with a beard sitting on a throne above the clouds. That being said, I do understand that these beliefs are an important thing for quite a lot of people, and so long as nobody is hurt by them, I respect them wholeheartedly.

...The church could definitely do with less power, though. The things some priests get away with are downright horrifying... They make Saul look like Yoder!

I completely agree and am an atheist myself. Or well I'm not sure about god himself. Does he exist? Does he not? Well if he shows up one day I'll accept the truth and that I was wrong.

I never thought I could use Fire Emblem to make an analogy of the church of the real world but you did it, I like it. Yoder also reminds me of the good priests there are. The guys that genuinely believe in god and do it for their community and help other people out, I mean one could argue all their life advice could be the same without god but if they're well meaning and do good what do I care?

If you ever play Souls of the Forest, one of the characters there is one of the asshole atheists lol... well I mean there's little writing in the hack but hey! He has his recruitment, the description of his weapons I guess and his escape quote. Though, pardon me for bringing him up, most of my view of him being an active member of r/atheism comes from Mangs' LP where he played him up, probably because there's not much writing yet. Play SotF. You want gameplay? DO IT.

20 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I've missed a couple, but Erzh...

...Erzhimler...?

...Anyway, as I was saying: Erzheimer's items aren't unique. Most of them are found multiple times throughout the game. There is just one exception, for which I made an exception of my own to the "no savescumming" rule.

In fact, we'll see this exception next update, as the item is found in Stolen Sword!

Erzhimler was on purpose, I swear! Don't start that chai- *boom* ah! Did you hear that explosion? ...

Ruben: What are you talking about I hear nothing.

Well anyways I hope you donzeimer my *boom... kaboom* I'm seriously hearing something! 

*vietzeimer flashbacks*

"Private Nino, private Nino! Get up, the falsifier Rubinelle have you played Advance Wars Days of Ruin? army is on the attack!"
*the sounds of screeching and explosions and a headache is everywhere*

Ruben: Nino? Hijo mio estas bien?

Hanes: Ah... si, ya... era una mala memoria...

*
*
*
(Himler is a real historical figure by the way, I just felt like missing the name on purpose with his)

And for the rest of the items and shit, I huh... (don't say see, don't say see) view...

29 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Not just my fanfiction, actually. This is a follow-up of sorts to a citizen request from chapter 4. In it, we were asked to recover a book of poetry for a man at the tavern. In this book, the gods Raze and Veria were depicted as lovers. Raze was a jealous dipshit, so Veria dumped him. He's spent the rest of eternity chasing after her, which, according to the book, is what causes the cycle of day and night.

Four chapters later, I have decided to bring that tale to life. And also make Raze speak like a stereotypical surfer, for no other reason than I find it funny.

Haha! Ah quite amusing... so in truth the world accepts both gods, but the cultures differ in whom they believe should be venerated. Cool.

29 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I need a medic bag:

You get TF2 flashbacks...

35 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Wait-- You're already back? You've only been gone for two minutes...

Yes, yes. And?

...Why do I get the feeling that I've been used...?

Just give it back, okay? Okay, see ya around! Fareweeeeeeell~!

Wait! What about the rest of your debts? This isn't nearly enough for me to make a profit....!

Ah, yes, the other debts... I'll pay those... eventually. Sit tight, Halfmann!

...See, dad? This is why I should've become a fisherman, like I wanted...

That's... a bit sad.

39 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I like how, since they forgot to give this guy any character or backstory the rest of the game, they're... kraming it all into this one scene.

Hehehe kraming...

40 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahah... heck, Erzheimer would probably react exactly the same way! Though in his case, I think his solution would be to go to the black market and buy it off the thieves.

I missed liek 30 updates or so which means it may have already been done, but I want to see an edit of Erzheimer being a libertarian, go with whatever you can ome up with... if you will I mean.

43 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ruby picks up the free plain horse we got in the main mission.

I made the joke before but Ruby is the father of this child and Clifford is a transphobe and why he didn't like his daughter... yeah it's dumb as fuck now that we get the whole character arc and shit.

44 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

And that'll be all for today. Next time, we go and rescue sword. Surprisingly enough, the sword won't be the main highlight of the map. Now, allow me to offer my farewells to you, so that you may take them. Or not. It does not matter to me. Anyway, farewell and see ya!

But the scroll bar still has a lot of space? Fanfiction time?

Oh and goodbye, but since this is at the end of the next update's replies, Good day Ruben!

48 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

I hovered over the images just randomly (wanted to see if the weird angry face had some easter egg), there's a number jump here, from thing_57 to thing_59.

49 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

To be continued

The plot advances, I'm still hooked.

 

[Benice]

Spoiler

On 8/13/2020 at 3:38 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

I--

Matthis died near the end of FE12, and was retired after the reset

...I--

Raigh died in FE6

...I-I--

Lee died twice in TRS

.......

...God fucking damnit-- Screw the accuracy, Axel needs a miracle charm more than he does the eagle brace.

 

I mean, I wasn't even joking.

On 8/13/2020 at 3:38 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Shaking my head my head?

Why are you shaking your head? I was shaking mine!

On 8/13/2020 at 3:38 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

FUUUUUUUUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

WHY DO QUOTES BREAK IF YOU ADD TWO RETURNS!? WHAT SENSE DOES THAT FUCKING MAKE!? GWWAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

Oh, sorry. I'll try not to do that anymore.

On 8/13/2020 at 3:38 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Fantastico*

Still, good effort.

Ah heck, that dumb inside joke is still plaguing my spelling to this day!

...It's a really long story, but to put it in a nutshell, we had a teacher that everyone called Rico, (I don't know why) and he became the deity of our school-We built a shrine to him out of papier-macher and electric candles in the gym on the last day. Anyways, everyone always said fanastrico.

On 8/13/2020 at 3:38 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

That's it, I'm killing you. Take this, my killing edge!!

...Wait, no, I always establish myself as a mage. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I'VE BEEN FOILEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!

And you can't even use shaver because I don't have a beard! Ha!

On 8/13/2020 at 3:38 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, I think it's fine to like good units so long as they're also fun units. For instance, TRS Sierra. That girl is such a joy to use. Then there's something like Seth or Titania, who are just "send at enemies to watch the game play itself." How fucking boring is that?

Very boring-Heck, Marcus being a good Jagen is honestly one of the biggest reasons that I love FE6 HM.

On 8/13/2020 at 3:38 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

...Who?

Oh, okay, it's an evil monk with an evil cat. Wonderful.

You don't know who the smurfs/Schroumpftz are? That's sad.

On 8/13/2020 at 3:38 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

...Who?

Oh, okay, it's an evil monk with an evil cat. Wonderful.

Lovely!

On 8/13/2020 at 3:38 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

O O F

That is so unfortunate. Maybe you should LP Berwick Saga. Your luck gives mine a run for its money.

No chance! I'm waaaay too bad at this game to ever actually play it as Kaga intended.

Although I might. One day.

On 8/13/2020 at 3:38 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

...Who didn't die in your run?!

My first run? Nobody. Every single person I deployed died at some point.

Also, unrelated. What does luck do again? Now that she's capped light skill, Saphira's got Luck levels the last three or four times around.

This run, only Esteban, Aegina and Faye (On purpose, so she could get happiness) have died. Pretty good!

Wait, no, Marcel died a whole bunch because of the nimbus axes. Man, I hate those.

Anyways, Imma rant about my current one. Just beat chapter 9's main mission!

Spoiler

I promoted Enid in chapter 8, but I RNG abused for it- I'm glad I did, because it took me over half an hour to get enough magic, even with the liquid magic.

Ruby's been an absolute beast-Ten strength, ten defense, tons of speed. Permanently recruited in chapter 6, promoted in chapter 7.

Faye promoted after chapter 6-Still pretty good, but my team sucks a lot less this time, so she's been less useful. Still love astra.

Czene promoted after chapter 6-She's been really good, and I captured a few enemies with good weapons. The Bolt Knife in particular has been amazing, and I love the Thief's charm so much, even though I nearly died getting it.

Reese-Just promoted after (I think?) chapter 9's main mission. Barely used him, to be honest. Gram's still amazing, though.

Esteban! Just promoted in chapter 9! He's been so good! He has something like 21 speed after promotion now, as well as 40 bow skill, about 11 strength, 5 defense... I really like his character too-I find him somewhat relateable (Well, the feeling useless part. He's cool in the other parts of his character too.) I'm not gonna lie, in his first scene with Sophie, when she mistook Arina for being his lover, I was thinking "No! NO! KAGA NO STOP KAGA NO"

I wish he had deadeye, though.

Honourable mentions to Aegina, who OHKO'D Theodore! I was so elated when it happened that I think I screamed. My cats didn't appreciate that. She may promote, as she's hit level 15, but good gravy does she gain skill slowly. Heck, she gains every stat slowly...

 

On 8/13/2020 at 3:38 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Sheesh... Reminds me of my Marth in my FE12 LP. Barely trained him... Seriously, you think I'm bad now? You should've seen me back then! The only reason I got through that one is because Matthis decided to carry the entire team and myself on his shoulders!

Don't tell anyone but I honestly don't think you're that bad, since you're better at Berwick than I ever will be.

 

And I'm playing catch-up once more! I'll respond to everything else in a different comment.

[Insert obligatory Canadian apology.]