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Crimson Red

Apology from Blazer

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Hi there,

First, an introduction since I figure most people these days probably don't know me: I'm an old/former FE community member who was probably best known as "Blazer", for reference, here are just some of the things I did while part of the community:

- I owned one of the biggest English-speaking communities at a point (now extremely small, which is pretty much how I prefer it anyway)

- I made a free "forum hack" (the characters/story/other stuff was decided by members of the community) with a very complicated/troubled history,  it was eventually called "The Last Promise" and has had hundreds of thousands of downloads/plays and all the attention and hate that one would expect with something that was more popular than its quality deserved. It got attention because it was basically the first big "full-custom" FE mod, and got hate because a lot of assumptions about the hack combined with people being upset that it was well-liked despite not being that good, much like Sword Art Online lol. But I would guess the internet got bored by now and stopped being antagonistic about it, though I'm not actually sure as I left the community a while ago.

- I started and helped with the FE12 translation project many years ago

- I along with various others contributed a lot of finds and other things to the FE modding community that helped get it to... wherever it is now, I guess

In the end though I am just an old nobody now, but hopefully that gives some context as to this next thing:

I'd like to apologize for anything I may have said that was seen as immature, improper, or otherwise somehow offensive while interacting with other members of the community.

I've never been good at explaining my thought process on things, which tends to be rather nuanced and individualistic—i.e. I don't really see things as black and white like many people do, nor am I a fan of "taking sides"—and so it's led to a number of misunderstandings in the past, which aren't really a great thing to have.

But also, back when I was a member of the community I was basically like a young teenager (I think I was like 14 or something when I made the mod known as "TLP") so in general I wasn't very mature and didn't know how to effectively deal with people harassing or trolling me, as they often did.

While I can't actually think of any specific instances where I said or did anything particularly "wrong" (and "wrong" is subjective anyway), it's likely that I did, either through my own immaturity or being baited into it, or could have handled certain situations better, so I'm just throwing out this apology in case I have. I hope that if anyone I've wronged sees this, they find it in themselves to forgive me for any past offenses, or at least acknowledge that over the many years since I left the FE community, I have been striving to (and sometimes basically forced to) improve myself through the various experiences that life has granted me.

Also, I'd like to clarify that I'm not naïve enough to think that I've reached some pinnacle of maturity or enlightenment and am now a 100% socially proper adult who never says or does anything wrong. A lot of people act like this and it annoys me—I'm not really a fan of looking down on other people, and anyone who actually knows me (though almost definitely no one here) would know my community was literally formed around being open, welcoming, and kind to others—so I think it's important to distinguish that my growth as a person is a constant, non-stop journey to broaden my perspective, improve my ability to communicate with people, and become a more empathetic and "balanced" person. To me, that means not clinging to opinions so much that I become toxic when conveying them, controlling my emotions, trying to treat people with respect even if I don't understand them, and not thinking (or acting like) I am just a better person than everyone else.

Lastly, I was not asked or forced to give this apology. It's pretty much just me doing some self-reflection and is perhaps nothing more than self-satisfaction, to know that I at least tried to apologize for my previous behavior, even if I could theoretically excuse it by saying "I was just a kid!" or "other people were rude/immature to me first!"—I'd rather be the metaphorical "bigger person" and apologize myself, as it's nothing lost on my end. I'm not a proud person—I've actually had extremely low self-esteem my entire life (and still do)—so it doesn't really "hurt" me to admit I had and still have faults. I'm only human, so that's just how I am.

In line with that, I also don't expect anyone to apologize back. The past is in the past, and this post isn't even really necessary—as said, I can't think of any actual incidents where I caused some problem—but I interacted with a lot of people over the years, and definitely got frustrated a couple of times, so in the very unlikely case someone is holding a grudge over things from like 8-14 years ago, know that I'm sorry for that.

Thanks and take care,

"Blazer"

P.S.: Please don't reply/PM me about random hacking stuff (not just TLP but any of my other mods or things I did), as I'm unfortunately rather busy and not really interested in discussing it at this time, which is why I changed my name to something weird and random—I'm just really not a fan of attention these days, life is too busy.

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While I'm unaware of whatever your past transgressions were, I'd like you to know that you're still more than welcome here. I haven't interacted with you in the past, nor do I know what exactly you've done and/or said, but I'll extend my forgiveness to you nonetheless. You have nothing to personally apologize to me for, nor do I have anything to personally forgive you for (I'm pretty sure this is the first time I'm commenting on anything you've said, lol), but I can respect that you're trying to make amends for things you've done in the past. To me, an apology is the first step in setting things right. 

Even so, it sounds like you were fairly young when all this stuff went down. I don't think you really have to apologize for being a kid. It's something that I think most people can understand since we've all been at that stage. We make mistakes, and we learn from them. That's all part of growing up. From everything you've said in your post, I think you've really grown up since then. 

Just so you know, your apology isn't unheard. I don't know who else has seen this, or who will eventually see it, but I appreciate you taking the time to apologize, even if none of this affects me personally. If you have anything you want to talk about, or just need some moral support, you're more than welcome to send me a DM (as long as it's not anything bad, like a drug deal or whatever), and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

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3 hours ago, indigoasis said:

While I'm unaware of whatever your past transgressions were, I'd like you to know that you're still more than welcome here. I haven't interacted with you in the past, nor do I know what exactly you've done and/or said, but I'll extend my forgiveness to you nonetheless. You have nothing to personally apologize to me for, nor do I have anything to personally forgive you for (I'm pretty sure this is the first time I'm commenting on anything you've said, lol), but I can respect that you're trying to make amends for things you've done in the past. To me, an apology is the first step in setting things right. 

Even so, it sounds like you were fairly young when all this stuff went down. I don't think you really have to apologize for being a kid. It's something that I think most people can understand since we've all been at that stage. We make mistakes, and we learn from them. That's all part of growing up. From everything you've said in your post, I think you've really grown up since then. 

Just so you know, your apology isn't unheard. I don't know who else has seen this, or who will eventually see it, but I appreciate you taking the time to apologize, even if none of this affects me personally. If you have anything you want to talk about, or just need some moral support, you're more than welcome to send me a DM (as long as it's not anything bad, like a drug deal or whatever), and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

"transgressions", lol. that makes it sound way more serious than it is imo, haha.

Also, I myself can't remember, but one of the many things I've learned in life is that just because you don't remember hurting or offending someone doesn't mean they don't remember, so that's kind of how I see this.

I would guess the worst I've done is call someone some names though, even when I was a kid I wasn't really the type to conflict with anyone unless I thought they were being toxic somehow, though that's of course subjective and two wrongs don't make a right, so

1 hour ago, bad daniel said:

holy shit i didn't know you were still alive

lol yeah I'm alive, life moves on. I just haven't had much reason to hang around here or such anymore. still don't have a reason to, but I'm a weird person and felt like making this post for whatever reason... call it a final bit of closure to my time in the FE community. maybe next time I don't show up for 5 years, or maybe there is no next time and I never show up again. who knows~

Edited by Crimson Red

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13 hours ago, Crimson Red said:

"transgressions", lol. that makes it sound way more serious than it is imo, haha.

Also, I myself can't remember, but one of the many things I've learned in life is that just because you don't remember hurting or offending someone doesn't mean they don't remember, so that's kind of how I see this.

I would guess the worst I've done is call someone some names though, even when I was a kid I wasn't really the type to conflict with anyone unless I thought they were being toxic somehow, though that's of course subjective and two wrongs don't make a right, so

Whoops, I might have used a word a little too big for my own vocabulary, lol. 

Anyway, that's a good point you make about your memory versus the memory of someone else, and I can totally agree with that. If it's someone that you know, or at the very least recognize, and they know that you've hurt them in some way, even if you don't remember, it's best to remedy the situation as best you can and make it up to them.

And yeah, I'm not a very confrontational person at all, especially because I don't want to get into needless arguments or make someone mad. However, if someone is being toxic, I'd say the best method to deal with it is to be as respectful as possible and "kill 'em with kindness," so to speak. It keeps you on the moral high ground, and it completely ruins their objective of pissing someone off. It's pretty much the ultimate UNO reverse card in that it's the kind person that ends up making the person looking to piss people off angry because the instigator couldn't get the reactions they were looking for. However, I'd also say that there's a fine line between standing up for yourself and attacking someone else that's attacking you. 

Two wrongs may not make a right, but three lefts can.

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Huh, you're the one behind The Last Promise? Interesting.

I'd say, I remember being quite interested in that hack back in the day. It was just so interested to see what people did on the subject of hacking and stuff...

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I literally just now had the urge to look up TLP's soundtrack on YouTube and wondered "what's Blazer cooking up these days?"

I brushed off this old account just to drop by and say you're awesome! I genuinely loved The Last Promise. Why? It was fun. Also, it did open up (or help open up) a little facet of gaming that wouldn't've otherwise been there (including the amazing Requiem and others). Look, it's not often that I get to thank a game developer (romhack or not) so--at the risk of being sappy--thank you.

Yeah, it was one too many replies of "lol u dum" to one of my FE reviews that had me largely depart from the community. I realized it was less "let's chill and talk about Fire Emblem" and more "prove thy zealousy! What was thy final number crunch on thy 10000th playthrough of Conquest/HHM/FE4???!" It was fine, just not for me (heck, it's probably not even like that anymore. I hope). And we were all so much younger, weren't we? The fandom's gone through, what, 5 major revolutions? 6? I can still remember when the old fans were the ones claiming FE4 was the one true Fire Emblem.

Anyway, if you read this, I wish you well! Maybe drop by maybe? Eh, maybe not. I wish you well! 😁

Edited by Doctor Robert

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I feel the same way, and I would like to make a quick apology rather than perhaps starting a fad, except I can think of many things I wish I hadn't said, it's not hard to remember. Well right now I can only think of about 9 things and it only took me about 20 seconds of thinking to remember those 9 things. The weird thing is that recently I was thinking of one of those things and realized that it's just following a pattern of behavior that I undertook unconsciously. I regret the conscious stupidity I was aware of at the time, but the larger pattern of behavior isn't something I realized I undertook!

And I never made a contribution like TLP.

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Hello ! I created this account just to say thanks. Thank you Blazer for investing your time in energy making The Last Promise, it is a really good game. I have been replaying it and it's even better than I remembered. The maps of your hack are consistently putting me in this state of flow where the map is neither tedious nor too easy, it's a map design masterclass. The plot is also pretty good, and I especially like when the game rewards you for paying attention to side characters, like how you can recruit Howard if you talk to him with Cia. All in all, the game is exceptional and I'm grateful you made it, and I'm sure I'm not the only one considering people are still playing it long after release. For me it's up there with the best games in the main series. Cheers !

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