Dragoncat

He has you scoop the transporter horse's poop. I replace Felix's sword with a balloon sword.

Granted, but the game starts directly at the timeskip and you lose some of the plot. I wish there was a female hawk laguz character in the Tellius games.

Takumi shoots you in the butt. I called Lethe a furry.

My ficverses and headcanons.

Go wtf and then catch up. WWYDI Mario came out of your toilet?

A sniper Jagen. WYR have a parakeet or a gerbil?

See through house in a forest, I don't think I look that good naked nor do I want everybody to see me naked. WYR be Mario or Sonic?

Flayn. WYR have two mouths or two anuses?

She can still like characters that aren't the most popular.

Spyro was originally green, but they changed him to purple because he kept blending into the grass too much.

(fire alarm) Edelgard: Oh hell no. Hubert: It's not my fault this time. Ferdinand: HOLY CRAP! Bernadetta: AAAAA! Dorothea: Explain yourself Hubie! Caspar: Shit shit shit! Linhardt: Really? Dimitri: NO! Dedue: Get out your highness! Ingrid: It's so loud holy goddess. Sylvain: Oh shit. Felix: Fuck this. Ashe: AAAAA! Mercedes: Everybody get out! Annette: Who did this?! Claude: Oh goddess oh fuck! Hilda: I'm not gonna be in no fire not today! Lorenz: Nooooooo! Raphael: Nope! Ignatz: Nuh uh no way. Marianne: AAA NO! Lysithea: Ugh seriously? Leonie: Son of a bitch.

Pooper Scooper Tycoon. You pick up dog poop. That's it.

Omg yes I miss those.

Cold Steel and Kevin kissed and got super pregnant.

I'd play this.

I can see this actually selling lol. Cockroach Simulator

I think it should be obvious as a natural progression from White Clouds. White Clouds to White Flames since Byleth has the Crest of Flames.

Go ahead and leave comments here, there are some pairings at the bottom, but whee away we go. Obviously contains spoilers, mainly for Azure Moon and Verdant Wind as I have not played the other routes unless Cindered Shadows counts, but it has nothing in here as of now. Thanks to Behind the Name and the occasional friend for names I had to fill in. If a filled in name is not credited, they were named by me/Behind the Name. Pre White Clouds Everything that's said to happen within three decades before the game. Notably, the three houses of the academy each go through two classes in this time. There are likely more than what I have listed, gaps have to be filled in...spouses and other relatives. Black Eagles Ludwig Aegir(leader), Volkhard Arundel, Arnold Vestra *1, Ionius Hresvelg, Ernesto Bergilez *2 Cedric Bergilez(leader) *3, Patricia Arundel, Willem Varley *4, Adele Maritiz *5, Jasper Hevring *6 *1 Hubert's father *2 Caspar's father *3 Caspar's brother *4 Bernadetta's father *5 Mercedes and Emile's mother *6 Linhardt's father Blue Lions Rufus Blaiddyd(leader), Lambert Blaiddyd, Rodrigue Fraldarius, Nicolas Fraldarius *2, Gustave (later Gilbert) Dominic, Nathaniel Gautier *1 Cassandra (later Catherine) Charon(leader), Christophe Gaspard, Glenn Fraldarius *1 Sylvain's father, named by Anacybele. *2 Felix's uncle. Golden Deer Fabian Gloucester(leader) *1, Tiana Riegan, Acheron Ordelia *2, Holst Goneril(leader), Neville Edmund *3, Judith Daphnel, Avril Ordelia *4 *1 Lorenz's father. *2 It's never said where Acheron belongs! I threw him in Ordelia. Lysithea's uncle. Why not. *3 Marianne's adopted father. Fertility issues, perhaps? *4 Lysithea's mother. White Clouds Byleth is brought in as the new combat/tactics professor. A big change here is that Byleth does not pick one class to call his own while Manuela and Hanneman do the same. Instead, they teach subjects, they each work with all three classes for that subject. To go with the combat/tactics professor, Manuela teaches history and literature, Hanneman teaches math and science. Canon White Clouds is very leaning toward Blue Lions, so they get the Miklan and Lonato missions. The other two classes each get two missions of their own. The Golden Deer push back Acheron in his territorial dispute on Gloucester territory (Lorenz's paralogue), and calm the restless spirit of Maurice of the ancient Elites (Marianne's paralogue). The Black Eagles break up a quarrel between Count Hevring and Count Bergilez over who gets to have Anna the merchant set up shop in their territory, in the end the kooky merchant chooses neither and goes to sell at Garreg Mach instead. For a second mission, Duke Aegir is seen conversing with shady figures, Agarthans, and his plot of poisoning the emperor is uncovered. Not much can be done about it at this point, but the duke's approval level plummets as a result. The Flayn rescue mission is done by the Golden Deer because Claude is the first to find the passageway the Death Knight used. The Remire mission is done by the Blue Lions because Dimitri ever so passionately volunteers. Jeralt still dies at the cathedral ruins, because the church troops are sent to that one. Byleth leads none of these, they are led by the class leaders, but he is of course present at church missions and hence gets to say goodbye to Dad. He still confronts Solon and Kronya at the Sealed Forest and gets Sothis' full power. The attack on the Holy Tomb borrows an idea from Cindered Shadows. Byleth is leading a church force, but the house leaders get to accompany and each pick a classmate of their choice to come along. Edelgard leaves a note claiming she is "sick, and none of my classmates are interested", which is later revealed to be a blatant lie and Claude and Hilda get to see Dimitri snap. The attack on Garreg Mach that begins the war is a massive chaotic clusterfuck, with the Black Eagles in the invading force, otherwise it goes how it went in canon. White Flames A natural progression from White Clouds. Byleth meets up with the church people sans Rhea first after timeskip, and Garreg Mach is rebuilt and used as a church base. The Battle at Gronder happens like it does in Azure Moon, only with an extra church force added, a few casualties happen but eventually the church army gets the other three to surrender. Dimitri of course is not too keen, but Fleche kills Rodrigue and Byleth and Claude are able to get him to listen then. The armies separate. Enbarr is taken later by the Kingdom and Alliance in a pincer attack, Hubert swallows his pride and gives out the location of Shambhala over allowing Edelgard to be killed, and convinces her to turn against the Agarthans. Cue Shambhala raid and Nemesis returning to be subdued by all three factions. Edelgard gets to kill Thales, Dimitri takes out the rest of the Agarthan generals, Byleth weakens Nemesis and Claude deals the final blow via an arrow to the head. Rhea stepped down willingly after all this, saying that the people of Fodlan had proven they could take charge of their own destiny...without a dragon's guidance. Byleth is made Archbishop. Rhea, Seteth, and Flayn began to live off the grid/away from the humans somewhere along Rhodos Coast sanctioned by new King Dimitri. Catherine remains a knight of Seiros, now knight of Sothis. Alois is promoted to knight captain in Jeralt's place. Shamir stays in the knights as well, having become fond of her new comrades and Byleth in particular. Cyril finishes his education and becomes one of the professors afterward, along with Alois' daughter Eleanor. Pairings Love is in the air...or should I say there's gonna be a baby boom after a war? Both? Both. All three lords rule over their respective areas now, so no, Claude didn't fly off to Almyra here, but there is still opening of Fodlan's Throat. Empress Edelgard Hresvelg + Imperial Prince Consort Hubert Vestra One son(Astor) Caspar + Petra One son(Cyprin) Linhardt + Lysithea One daughter(Lillian) Ferdinand + Mercedes Two daughters(Fernanda and Emily) King Dimitri Blaiddyd + Queen Ingrid Galatea One son(Kion), one daughter(Leah) Felix + OC(Marta) One son(Karel) Sylvain + Dorothea Two older sons(Gavin and Rosco), three more younger kids Dedue + OC(Britta) One daughter(Alva) Ashe + Annette One daughter(Lucille) Archduke Claude Riegan + Duchess Hilda Goneril One daughter(Giselle), one son(Collin) Ignatz + Bernadetta One son(Virgil) Lorenz + Marianne One son(Landon), one daughter(Diantha) Raphael + Leonie One daughter(Rhonda)

Far Ting. WYR live next door to a Karen who never disciplines her kids or a Chad who has loud parties every night?

Oh yeah, it was! I forgot.

Wake up as a new person every year. WYR share your name with someone in a religious text or an ancient philosopher?

I see a lot of complaints about this sort of thing, examples being Fi in Zelda Skyward Sword, or the "how to catch a pokemon" in every main series Pokemon game, that up until Sword and Shield, was unskippable. Unless I heard wrong and it's there too, I haven't played it yet. We complain and get annoyed, or at least roll our eyes at it, because we have played these games since their beginning or close to it. But there will always be somebody playing the game for the first time, so that's why it's there. Xenoblade doesn't have tutorials like that, but it has a menu you can access with tutorial articles. FE Path of Radiance had one too. I beat PoR because I had previous FE experience, but even with the tutorial menu in Xenoblade, I'm pretty sure I got myself softlocked, because I relied on Shulk throughout the whole game and I reached a point where he's out of the party and the game throws powerful enemies that normally only he can debuff at me. I'm not looking for discussions/advice on how to get past this with this topic, I'm using it as an example for what's in the title. Nothing in the tutorial articles suggested "You will have to put someone other than the main character in the lead eventually", and this isn't Pokemon where somebody will tell you to use water or grass types against the rock gym leader. I struggled enough in Yellow with Brock as a 9 year old, starting with an electric type and the game not saying a fighting type would work just as good. And not understanding the concept of grinding...man that was something else. My question is, how do you think this sort of thing should be handled? What's your opinion on it in general?