Parrhesia

"if i inhale helium will i exhale "inhale exhale"?" Dijon Mustard asks. "all non-chiropractic scientists please respond"

fuck

[spoiler=Update 43] Okay, we're basically just killing time in Camoa until the auctions. We've actually tried and failed Mayhem before, with the suicide tomatoes. It's weirdly easier this time. After this, Guinness has finished every single fighter A-Ability. Nofilia's one ability off clearing Elementalist, too. So! Camoa Cup! Who're our first oppon ehehehehehehnts. Okay, the enemies probably scale with level... they're 22 and 23 and that's about what our clan's average level is. But... it's the Yellow Wings and they have literally not learned a single new ability since we first faced them (bar maybe the Monk, who has Air Render and a buff-remover called Holy Sign that I'd forgotten existed). The mage still only knows Fire/Blizzard/Thunder through the rod he's carrying ffs! I interpret this line as indicating that Cid has forgotten who these people are. Say goodnight, Kidd! Oh, and a little Opportunity command for BM, and... Yep, all your friends are gone too now! Toodles, nerd! No time for rest before the next fight. We have the same squad and the law's still against using MP. The fans, by the way, aren't selectable in any way and you can't step off the central board. They also look... lower-res. All they do is cheer. This'll be easy. Green mage dead before any of her mates can even move. yyyyep. Like the Yellow Wings, this side is let down by having terribly weak abilities. Nevermind. Pyrrh finishes the last off with a critical. Cinch. So they get healed but we get to limp around. My headcanon of the law - backed up by the actual canon, by the way - involves that judged clans are pretty rare and generally discriminated against by the rest of the clan community so we have to put up with all this bullshit. Good start. Now it's 4v5. 3v5. Note to self - stop sending B-teams to these things, though admittedly the law against mana kinda fucked that a bit. 4v5! 4v4!! 3v4. But form is temporary. Class is permanent. The Camoa Braves are consigned to the history books - beaten in the auction halls, the field and now the tournament floor. Hey, speaking of. We'll do this first because it's probably seasonal. Man, I hope the time limit on this one isn't as strict as the cleaning. This happens to six trees. Adele gets pulverised in the middle of the clusterfuck. Elm picks a fight with a wolfboy under confusion At least a signature Evil Eye Self-Roulette brightens up the occasion. Bye Elm. Gren finally lands a Red Spring and a lamia that spawns guarding the narrow road to the last tree almost fucks things up - we scrape through though. That said, it seems to imply you don't need to pick all the fruit to win - we get a Crusader Tonic, a fairly rare and useful loot, for our efforts though. Now, auction time! Camoa's rewards are disappointng. Oh, I guess it's finally time to revisit the Veluga Pirates... They're all poisoned now. Except that it misses them all. All of them. Fuck's sake. Then the Silver Disc, which is... a literal CD, apparently. What even are Gadgeteers? Anyway it only blinds like one guy. It's a good little plan they have - the three Vikings War Cry (resilience-boost) themselves and their mates and then a gadgetfail isn't fatal. amazing. Misses everyone again, but, well... Yeah. I've wanted to do that for a long time. Well, chat? Do you think this will happen? Next up on FFTA2: More loose ends tied up.

ping: 'Another breath of fresh air, this time from Germany, 2008. The album, Stadtaffe, was pretty huge in Germany back then, but I suppose it's hardly known anywhere else.'

[spoiler=Update 42 - Caul] Big month ahead of us! Much to do! Many of these things concern me! First off, I was entrusted with destroying the destructive Mamatrice! It has all Klesta's abilities. Well, as much as we might have wanted to bring her in peacefully, that wasn't an option. Really, things got dicey! Without archers or mages, well... we pretty much just ran at her and started hitting her. I was knocked out halfway through the fight but apparently I didn't really miss much, just more hitting. The rest drove her off. From there, we went into the Aldanna hills to wrangle missing chocobos! Wolfe's squad found Tradap and not a moment too soon, the poor guy was backed into a corner. They had to move quick, too. You know, he told me it went well, but we never did hear back from the petitioner... While stopping by Camoa, the Jylland Free Press broke a story on Carm Mercantile's alleged corruption. We stopped by Wood Village to drop off Yoana to moonlight as a barmaid for a bit. Then Gren stopped by the Land Festival at Camoa. Pyrrh returned successful from his campaigning with Bedeviled around this time, too. We finished off in Jylland by clearing out another monster infestation. The rabbits were one of the biggest problems, honestly! I made a plan to suggest to Cid that we keep one as a pet/mascot/support wizard but I forgot to lodge it until writing this just now reminded me. We brought down the antlion first. It wanted to take on me and Rodanu together? It was welcome to try! As this is an FE forum, I feel obliged to mention that the marlboro's called 'Fargus'. I slew the flower junkie lamia next, but my strike was so powerful that I, er, accidentally broke the law against knocking opponents back. We tried to bring down the green chocobo, but not fast enough to stop it badly wounding Nathala. We fought back strongly, though! Just that I fell halfway through the fight. Again. From what I've heard, Rodanu collapsed, too. Elm was not about to go down quietly, though. Pyrrh did. The rabbits went down next. Well, we were cornered now, and no mistake! But there was one thing that the chocobo never saw coming... Yvet is incredibly fast. Well, it wasn't my best week... but we did some jobs as best we could. Can't say fairer than that, right? Next episode of FFTA2: Why am I so bad at this?

From sitting? Right.

"ANTHONY FANTANO DIDN'T LIKE THIS RECORD, but who cares what that MELON FAced cUCK who should go back to reviewing MEMES. but yeah, it's foxing, a band who has terrible luck with their tours vans. this song is about the bassist's experiences in afghanistan. pretty sad stuff man, but it's pretty," said DisinnocencE calmly. This brings our Personal Afghanistan Experience Songs up to two!

You can see the terrain bonuses to defence on the map. IIRC Hills and Forests are 1/15% evade, Forts are 2/20% and Thrones in FE6 are like, 3/40% or something.

[spoiler=Update 41] Well, while we're on our way to help out that idiot throwing money at us, we may as well help out this poor soul. Hopefully we're... ... in... time... I... I guess?! Wait, but you wanted healing potions, won't that just- Well... lesson learned at l- I... I'm sorry, Lotice. Even denial leads to the same conclusion. (There is a choice but it's basically immaterial.) Let's... Let's just go deal with the fen witch. Well, funny you should mention that, we might have some use for that kind of thing later. Well, she makes the draught, and Guinness offers payment. Suits me fine. Well, his allowance is going straight to us as it is, anyway. Yeah, good luck with that. This should be obvious. We'll sort this out, though. So obviously they want artillery. Your tough-guy stance is being undermined by the stiff military salute, Pyrrh. Little detour in Moorabella to take care of, though... it's a shame that this of all things will be mission #100. Templeton's idea of an interview is a little better this time. First two options are obviously wrong because he wants a Prima Donna fanatic. Does anyone but Templeton ever use this sprite animation, anyway? we... we get to fly back to fluorgis again. First, though, a couple of the more even-leveled quests here in Jylland. Next up on FFTA2: A whole new level of glitch is reached.

smeeeeeee (eeeeeeeeee)

I'm no expert on Arthurian lore but I guess Gawain.

This amended statement sums it up perfectly for me. I'm entirely happy swearing for emphasis in company that it's acceptable in front of.

[spoiler=Update 40] I guess it's not the noncombat update anymore. Also there's only one other noncombat thing in Jylland and it's to take an airship to Fluorgis. This is a mission for a truly delicate hand, someone who can be trusted with works of art, a man of discerning tastes. And that man will be Elm. Sometimes there's no point in arguing. We're grossly overlevelled by the way and the wolf deals a mighty twelve damage to Yoana. On a flanking crit. It's Pyrrh's debut! What worries me is that handcannon seem... weirdly weak in the attack department. Meanwhile Torch has a life-draining sword now that might be Yvet's longterm weapon. Elm got immobilised at some point. Elm has Three skills. It'd be a single-handed rebuke of the Bazaar system but the fact is that we could just really do with finding the Lanista job right about now... Pyrrh's early signs are promising. I had to take a picture of my friend for a journalism assignment. I got a 3/10 for it. They keep spawning and it keeps not mattering. A wolf half Yoana's level with one HP tried to hit Yoana in the flank for 1 damage, missed and was countered to death. We kill another goblin and faerie almost accidentally before... Elm's got a great shit-eating grin. Poor thing. A is the correct option, otherwise... She runs. A happy mission! But it uh, we don't actually go to Fluorgis, it turns out. Alright, let's get three of these out of the way. The charm's just a rat tail. Now, where's this witch of the fens... ? Guinness sees light from inside the hut in Tramdine... Oh, that's just Elm. Don't suppose I can accidentally turn this into a weapon... ? Alright. Now to Lyze. Al. Right. Then. To the Treasured Tomes guy- what what The books are just... pretty basic weapons. Well, I guess Lawrn's going to be an alchemist instead. WHO EVEN ARE THOSE TWO GUYS Well, I'm sure that this will be the end of Geldran's problems. Next up on FFTA2: Are you shitting me?!

this is a religious hymn in every way except i know all the verses by heart and there's only one cuss Well said, Dijon.

[spoiler=For Yvet from the ten updates I played ahead] Yvet's maybe my best unit. I can't wait until she has an actual good shortsword to use as a weapon! That's her only weak point as it stands. Anyway, now that all the generic boyz have been recruited, there's a poll! You will need to delete your vote for the gunsman because SF polls are bad.

An Easy Mode run will be a long, probably unsatisfying grinding process for a handful of small boosts in Radiant Dawn. Just play the game at the level you think you're up to, and Normal is entirely fine for players new to the series. Use the Bonus experience as you go along, especially as the amounts of it that will be useful throughout the game will be pretty miniscule by the end. There's never really a reason to save it.

Place called Crust. It's pretty expensive, you might even call it upper-crust. ha ha ha It's pretty rare for takeaway to be a thing with me, though. If ordering pizza was a regular thing, though, I assume we'd probably take something cheaper. Not sure of a specific one, though.

[spoiler=Update 39] Ah, good. The bard's one of those mugs. That's better. Okay yeah but like, no. I almost died doing back-to-back story missions and like hell am I doing it again when not trying to sustain narrative tension. Haha, not yet. Not ever yet. Because there is a ton of really cool shit I need to do first. I fly to Moorabella, maybe prematurely. Then again, maybe not. Definitely not. So yeah, destroy ten viera and you can be a spellblade! Hana has doublecast and narrowly avoids being immediately addled and/or silence. Lucky, too. Good thing assassins are such glass cannon. In fact, our plan of 'stand there and take it' is paying immediate dividends! First three down and we've taken like 15 damage on Nofilia, that's it. White mage doesn't even get to move! The red mage does survive that long, just... thunder robes. Assassin is knocked out before she can act, too. This is fun! Nofi gets a double-kill. Their red mage's last action was to miss a 99% to hit on Hana. Units who do not take an action: 3. A spellblade walks in shortly after an archer. Killed on the counter. Amateur. The archer sorta moved but she was disabled and slowed. I was skeptical about Tranq but whichever guy in the thread told me that Tranq ruled, and green magi broadly were good, was Correct and I was Wrong. Oh, we will. You first, though. You know it kept wanting to give me arcanists and they had worse stats in literally every parametre. "Thanks muchly," he tells me, and I have immediate regrets. Here we go. Spellblades excel at the damage-and-possible-debuff thing and between Yvet, Nofi and Gren we can bring someone to shut down any occasion. Some intriguing letters, as ever, but we have more important things to do. Right. Um. That's not a cat. oops i forgot to make nathala the lead for this Couple more reinforcements show up. Alright. Let's get on with it. We annoyingly start more or less trapped but Yoana should give them something to chew on. Roye does a twirl. Alright, get to it. Wait, no, when I said throw the book at them, I didn't mean- Nevermind. Yoana's learned a nice new trick, at least. Fuck. Next up on FFTA2; The Jylland noncombat update.

It's alleged to be olden. It's alleged to be golden. It's definitely Knight Falchion.

Hello, the chat!

he literally admitted to tax evasion and was proud of it. he's corrupt as fuck, and it's hard to believe it doesn't get highlighted as much.

You stepped in to defend this statement and its present tense; So. You know.

Chicken, potato, spice, and an overall reddish hue.

Oh fuck yeah these are awful, and semi-related, cases of mistaken/stolen identity where a character gets blamed for a ton of shit they didn't do.

Bluntly, your interesting idea that the dystopian nightmare future Trump represents is worse than the mediocre status quo is, while eyecatching, wrong.