A Random Player
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Rufus was surprised when one of the girls suddenly moved in front of him and even more so when she fired her gun. *BANG* Since it happened so quickly Rufus wasn't able to give a proper reaction before pausing a bit and assessing the situation. Once he does though, Rufus became angry.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!?" And I thought Shepard was the idiot... Fortunately, there didn't seem to be anybody in the room, and perhaps somewhat strangely Rufus can't see any bullet holes at the direction the girl just fired, though he's pretty sure that she didn't fire a blank. Somewhat calmer (but still angry), Rufus scolded the girl "Are you aware of the responsibility you have when firing a gun!? What if you had fired on one of the villagers!? Are you TRYING to kill somebody, or do you just get off by firing your gun!?" Rufus sighed. Is everybody from other worlds this dumb, or is it just my luck to get stuck with the idiots...
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Unless you're typing on your autocorrect phone, you'll need to be a little more careful with your words since you misused several in your posts. It can be considered a sign of ameteur writing by some people.
Regarding the story itself, it's a bit confusing at some points. Why did the girl get out of the house in the first place, to ask for help? If so, why haven't she gotten it until the main character visited again later? Why did her grandmother's death cause her to want to take revenge for her parents' death? Why not before? Was she closer to her grandmother than her own parents? Since the main character is a reluctant killer, why did he have to take the bounty in the first place, did none of his previous targets have children? What problem caused him to need money so desperately at the time? Sometimes a character's motivation is more important than the results, so be sure you don't leave it out.
From this point it's just personal opinion, but even if they're not the 'main' character, a good writer should tell the readers (or at least hint) the character's fate after detaching from the main story, and the results of the character development, the character underwent throughout the story.
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2000 more, let's make this happen
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Fennel sorely wished she had her tools with her. Then, Shepard mentioned. . .something. "Hey Shepard, you know of this place? And if so, where's the best place to eat?" She looked at the bandit, a small smile on her lips. "Or if YOU happen to know any good restaurants, or libraries, or perhaps the name of whoever gave you that gun, that would help."
"If you like Xingese (Chinese) food, I can show you a place in town. My treat, if we take care of these guys. For libraries, you're not gonna find much in THIS country, unless you go into one of the noble's palaces. Trust me, I looked."
Rufus suddenly felt a gust of win. "Somebody there?" Rufus glanced at Shepard "You don't mind if I borrow this for a bit?" Motioning at the handgun Shepard handed him ealier. It has a trigger at least, shouldn't be too different from the ones in the military.
Not waiting for a response, Rufus quietly moves toward the source of the draft.
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For a while, Rufus didn't think that Shepard could count past 3. Hearing him correctly count the number of people in the room was a nice surprise. "Edward Elric? Is he a hero from your world or something? Can't say it's a name I'm familiar with."
To be perfectly honest, Rufus does recall hearing the name "Elric" somewhere. It's likely a coincidence though, since he's pretty sure the Elric he heard about didn't have Edward as their first name. Then again, Rufus does have a pretty short memory.
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While Rufus would like to take revenge on the bandit for the crimes he did to the village, he still preferred avoiding a fight with Shepard. "The new emperor's a bit soft. Thieves just get into prison, though if you put sexual assault and attempted murder into the equation... the penalty is pretty severe..."
It's moments like this when Rufus misses the old emperor, while some may call him a brutal dictator, his harsh laws puts fear into the heart of criminals, though it doesn't really seem to apply to the officials themselves now that he thought about it...
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Looks like they don't know that much either. Ignoring Funnel's (Fannel?) financial complaints, Rufus replied "A purple space thing? That sounds... interesting. Not really convincing though." What kind of space do they mean though? A wide-open one? It was an interesting concept, though I still don't know whether or not they're telling the truth. They don't seem particularly insane, but one can't ignore the possibility...
Broken from his line of thoughts by one of the other girls (Noah?), Rufus suddenly remembered about the person he brought to interrogate. "Ah... yes, he shouldn't be too dangerous since I have his gun right here, but it would be quite troublesome if he escaped. Speaking of which, he should be awake by now shouldn't he? I recall Shepard healing him a while ago." Glancing at the "bandit", Rufus thought for a moment about his next words.
"Are you still passed out? Or are you just faking it by now? Shall I break one of your fingers to find out? Or maybe you prefer your nose..."
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While Rufus can't tell whether or not Shepard was mocking him while explaining his gun (since he understood nearly nothing from it), he at least knows that the technology to replicate it doesn't exist in "this" world. It would seem that the others came from different worlds as well. Realities different from his, just the thought of it made Rufus' head hurts. At the same time however, he found the concept of parallel universes quite enticing. If there are different worlds, could there be different versions of each world? One where he saved his friend, perhaps?
"If you came from different worlds, how did you end up gathering here? Hard to imagine it was a coincidence."
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"To his face we call him "Lord" Masuki. The bandits started coming around 5 months ago, coincidentally right after Emperor Ling enacted the tax limitation law. Pretty interesting, don't you think?"
Just then the strange alchemist girl came in and introduced herself a Thyme. Rufus chuckled at her complaint. "I must admit that my methods might have been a little extreme, for that I apologize. You said you were from... wait, you're saying it doesn't exist in "this" world!?" Rufus was visibly surprised, he hadn't considered the possibility to be realistically possible. "Are you saying that you came from... another world?"
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"I'm curious about that myself. This isn't the first time they came, and likely won't be the last. First time they came, they carried Springfield rifles, fossils more fit for decoration than actual combat. Of course, I drove them off. But then they came back with newer models and eventually Sub-Machine Guns. At that point I stopped trying to fight them. Of course, they won't risk coming to fight me either so they usually just extort whatever they can get from the villagers and leave." Rufus chuckled. "They liked to have their fun with the women too, so people have been hiding them in my house. Would explain why they're now so angry all the time." Rufus paused for a moment "Somehow they're not too keen on using their guns either though. Not something you'd expect from bandits. It's just speculation, but I think they're working for someone higher up. Would explain how our reports never got followed up."
"As for your... barrier... I can assure you that whatever I did to it was not on purpose. (since I have no idea what they are)" Is that why my Alkahestry didn't work like it should've had? What kind of technology is a kinetic barrier? How have I never heard of it? So many mysteries, it's like these people came from another world...
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"Rufus Cromwell. Just Rufus is fine though. I actually get a lot more visitors than you'd think. I'm the closest you'll get to an actual doctor in this village. The closest town is quite far so as long as it's not too serious, I usually handle the sick in the village. I take it you're not from around here? Fennel's not really a common name in Xing (or anywhere else as far as I know)."
Thinking about it, the firearms and alchemy Rufus saw in the previous battle wasn't like anything Rufus ever saw before. Stranger still, each of them seems to use entirely different technology and alchemy compared to the other. Are they from several different countries? Drachma** perhaps?
Forgot to write this in the previous post
* Xing is essentially FMA-China
** Drachma is similar to Russia
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From behind the door, the voice of a girl replied "Sir Rufus?" followed by the sound of what could be a cabinet moving and a lock unlocking. Opening the door was a Xingese* girl probably no more than 8-10 years of age. She looked shocked seeing Rufus' bloodied state "A-are you okay, Sir Rufus?" Rufus replied "I'm fine. More importantly, the bandits have left. Could you tell everyone to leave? I have..." Rufus glanced back at the five "Guests." He finished.
The girl looked like she wanted to say something else, but in the end just nodded and went inside. A few seconds later a few more people came out of the house, mostly young women and children. Many of them stared at Rufus and the man he's dragging, and a few of them started whispering, but none of them dared to ask Rufus about it. After the last person left the house, Rufus went inside and left the "bandit" on the floor. He proceeded into his room and took of his bloody clothes, afterwards using Alkahestry to heal the wounds he's sustained. Changing into a new pair of shirt and trousers, Rufus faintly saw a White Cloak with an orange-black striped sash peeking out in his drawer. Thrice damned idiot. Rufus cursed, remembering a memory from his past. Grabbing the cloak and the sash, Rufus heads to the living room, waiting for his "guests".
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"Drop your weapons, wouldn't want people to think you're the bad guy now would we, Sir 'Great Hero'." Rufus don't want to start another battle, he dealt with enough problems for a day. "My house is next door by the way, that house's owner is at the city right now." Rufus paused for a moment, before sighing. "Here's a deal, I'll open the door to my house and you can decide whether or not to come in. I can provide you with food, shelter, and I'll--" Rufus was suddenly stopped by a white light shining out of nowhere, leaving behind the alchemist(?) girl wearing nothing but underwear. Rufus stopped for a moment his face turning slightly red, before pulling himself together to finish his sentence "I-I'll treat your injuries." Glancing back at the girl, Rufus added "I can also provide fresh clothes if you need it. Don't expect anything fancy though."
Still dragging the "bandit", Rufus knocked the door of his house. "It's me." He whispers to the door barely audibly. I'd prefer if they didn't see me bloody, but I don't have much choice at the moment.
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Rufus had walked but a few steps before he heard a woman screaming behind him. Looking back, he recognized the girl as the alchemist shooting fireballs. Rufus should watch his reply, since they could kill him in 10 seconds.
"If you have any complaints, then take it to your friend 'Shepard'. I wouldn't have done anything if he hadn't tried to play hero. I was trying to stop you from doing just this. Though I didn't know you had two more friends over there. YOU people made this mess, I expect you to fix it. Anymore questions?"
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Rufus had stayed quiet during the fight after he got shot. One of his thoughts were that he didn't expect there to be other people fighting the bandits. The other was I'm tried to fight these monsters 3-to-1? Rufus never considered himself inferior in a fight before, but the people he just saw had powers beyond his expectations. Though of course, he can't afford to show what he thought in front of them.
Getting out of his hiding place, Rufus shouted "I CALL A TRUCE!" He didn't have any real choice, what they had done was beyond fixable, and even if it weren't, Rufus didn't really stand a chance of stopping them without a huge chance of dying, something he'd like to avoid. Rufus picked up the "bandit" boss' Sub-Machine Gun (not really his first choice in guns but it's better than nothing) and grabbed the boss' right foot before turning around to face the five. "Follow me." he said as coldly as he can (trying not to give them a hint of fear), before he started to drag the boss to his house. With these five's help, although it's just a slight chance... I may be able to expose him.
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From his hiding place, Rufus can see lights with different colors suddenly forming nearby. Peeking, he can see that the girl who threw fireballs has changed, having fire, ice, and thunder appearing and disappearing at several parts of her body. What kind of alchemy is that? Rufus thought. At first Rufus had considered the possibility that she was the famed "Flame Alchemist". Though he quickly abandoned the idea since an Amestris general would have had no business in this village. Whoever she is, travelling with a member of the military would also make her part of the military, most likely a state alchemist. His time at the military has taught Rufus that they're not to be trifled with, even when some appear harmless.
While she hasn't attacked, she's quite obviously preparing something, and unlike a certain less intelligent soldier, Rufus doesn't want to find out what it is.
Rufus casts Narcotic Trance on a senbon, and uses a Seal Throw on Thyme.
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Looks like I got all three. Rufus couldn't have hoped for a better outcome. Knowing that he doesn't really stand a chance facing them in a straight combat, Rufus opted to use guerrilla tactics.
Rufus runs out of sight and hides behind a building at a relatively close but safe distance.
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I suppose when you see your opponent obviously preparing something, the best response would be to get closer and find out what it is. Genius. Not that it would've made much difference in this situation, but this reminds me of the reason I proposed an IQ test as a part of the military recruitment program. Speaking of the military, Rufus noted how well equipped his opponent was and deduced that he's most likely from the military. With that in mind, Rufus decides that he shouldn't drag this out any longer than necessary.
Rufus casts Narcotic Trance on the circle, targeting everyone. Yes, including the confused girl on the back with her revolvers out.
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Well this is bad. While the average person would've gone limp from the Alkahestry he did, it would appear this 'Shepard' was not an ordinary idiot 'hero' after all. Worse still, it appears that his companion started joining in as well. While Rufus might have stood a chance in a one-on-one fight, he doesn't like his chances against these two 'not so ordinary' opponents.
*BANG*, and the first shot rang... followed by a fireball. While Rufus was lucky that they didn't hit any vitals, he'd rather not find out whether or not he'll be as lucky with the next ones. The only good news for Rufus is that, the crowd (including the 'bandits') seems to be dispersing, giving him more freedom with his movements. Even if he can't beat them, Rufus is sure he can distract them long enough for the bandits to leave.
Rufus draws a Great Circle on the ground.
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Ah, the stubborn type. Rufus can see that talking will get him nowhere with this guy, or even if it would, it would've wasted a lot more time than he can spare right now. Rufus then heard a woman's voice further back. The idiot has companions it seems, keep your dog on a leash, why don't you? At least it appears that she's more reasonable than... "Shepard"? Quite a strange name.
Although Rufus would've rather avoid this outcome, he was prepared for it nonetheless, hence the gloves. Grabbing Shepard's arm, Rufus cast Weaken Body on him, intending to stop him by force.
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Rufus had planned to just watch the commotion from his clinic, but the situation is clearly getting out of hand. "Idiots." Rufus cursed under his breath. Turning to one of the girls he's hiding, Rufus says "Open for no one but me." Putting on his gloves, Rufus walks outside and into the commotion.
After pushing his way through the crowd, Rufus can see somebody wearing a cloak and the 'bandits' having a face-off. Is he mad? Rufus thought. He couldn't really see the man's face but to face such numbers alone must mean that the man is either crazy or is hiding some kind of power An Alchemist, perhaps? Since the road between Amestris and Xing were established, they have become a more common sight in Xing, though very few have ever come to the village. Either way, Rufus knows about these 'hero' types and how they usually end up. Whether he wins or dies today though, the resulting situation won't be good for the village, so Rufus decided to stop the charade before it gets any further.
"Hey, Hey, Hey!" Rufus shouts as he approaches. "There's no need for violence, now. This is all just a big misunderstanding." Approaching the hooded man, Rufus held both of his hands out and said loudly "It's okay now, put the gun down." all the while whispering to the man "Do as I say if you don't want to doom this village." If there's one more thing Rufus knows about these 'hero' types, it's that they believe they're good and he intends to use that mentality. He just hopes that this guy is not one of the stubborn ones.
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No idea what this amounts to, but I formatted the Footman (which I prefer to call squire) spreadsheet a while back for someone to code (was planning to do it myself but kinda lost interest). Here it is: https://www.dropbox.com...Squire.rar?dl=0 (feel free to not credit me, since I didn't really do that much)
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Between the Dreamworlds: Savers of the Apocalypse - Chapter 1
in Roleplay
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The other girl's reply made Rufus furious again. "Do you honestly think it's that freaking simple!? What if the girl had shot the person in the head? I suppose YOU would have no problem 'accidentally' killing somebody..." Rufus was about to rant more before Shepard started talking in a way that Rufus must admit, sounds a lot more sensible that what Rufus was thinking of saying. Well, this is embarrassing...
Rufus decided to take a deep breath. Before wordlessly, following the girl who went outside earlier, who also seemed to be quite shaken. Maybe I was a little too hard on her there...