SullyMcGully
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Posts posted by SullyMcGully
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306 Rezzy get Discord!
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Aw man! I came here thinking I would find advice! But looks like you all need it more than I do!
My momma always told me if I held doors for ladies and addressed them as "Ma'am", then maybe I would catch a girls attention. Then I should go ask their father for permission to court. No hand-holding until after marriage!
I need a better strategy. Though from what I've heard, having a strategy tends to backfire. Just be yourself!
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Darlin' only the good die young!
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Armed guards is the way to go with the current situation. "Arm teachers" is never gonna happen, too many teachers would be against that. "Ban guns in America" is even more of a pipe dream, and I don't believe the government to be capable of actually enforcing meaningful gun control laws. So please, get armed guards soon.
Also, I'm not public-schooled, so I don't know the answer to this one: are students allowed to carry non-lethal weapons to school? Like tazers, pepper spray, etc.
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6 hours ago, SuperIb said:
...Any specific sources in mind? Just curious. Does this also apply the other way around? (i.e. raising girl w/o mother figure) - Also, based off the quoted bit, I'm assuming you're referring to single mothers?
I was referring to single mothers. Single fathers exist (I know a few personally) but there are certainly less of them.
There are several studies that show children with fathers are less likely to commit crimes and more likely to hold steady jobs. I don't know about what happens when the genders are reversed, but I doubt that it's any good.
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I think I can agree with you from a social and legal perspective, Shoblongoo. But on a personal level, I just think a multitude of partners without any sort of commitment would just make sex cheaper, like how a government can cause inflation by printing too much money. It's not just a religious belief, I know too many people who can back it up from personal experience and I've seen statistics and studies that indicate sexual intimacy has a deeper psychological and emotional effect and is not just a physical thing. That's my personal belief, though, and I don't think others have to believe the same way I do. I just think I'm right.
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ACHOO we are much larger than you, little rodent. Go live in a cage.
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So this became a boring thread where people just count after I left? Has it even been hot in my absence? Oh how I miss those glory days...
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You look young enough to be our kid...
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Good. I'll tell them all the truth... when I feel like it...
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Every girl looks good in a hoopskirt!
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Sure, don't know who it is, but they look honest, and that's all it takes!
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1 minute ago, Rezzy said:
Glad to hear all is well.
I may get a Discord at some point. I'm behind the times when it comes to social media. I tend to avoid things with audio, since my kids are always loud in the background.
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You should! It's pretty convenient. People don't do audio that much really
but what makes you think we don't want to hear your kids? Cute!213
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30 minutes ago, Rezzy said:
210, nice to see you back. How was your hiatus?
It was good. I got a lot of school done and gained a fresh perspective on life. It wasn't the same without my internet mom though...
BTW they're living it up in Discord. You should get an account.211
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REZZY!!! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!!
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6 hours ago, Shoblongoo said:
...so in that hypothetical, to have any kind of working relationship, your partner would have to explicitly tell you they now view their active sexual history as a "mistake" they have come to regret, and for which they are seeking forgiveness?
But if they had no regrets and just had a live-and-let-live attitude about it--i.e. if they aren't bothered that you want to wait until marriage, you shouldn't be bothered that they were sexually active with prior partners--there's no way that could work for you? You're too far apart spiritually and ethically to be romantically compatible?
Even if your personalities and hobbies synced up perfectly and the physical attraction was there and everything else about the relationship was spot-on?Well, honestly, if I'm going to acknowledge that the healthiest sexual relationships are built on commitment and exclusivity, then I'm going to have to acknowledge that any previous relationship my partner or I may have had (which, judging by the fact that it is not currently ongoing, was not built on commitment and exclusivity) was a risk, and, potentially, a mistake.
I don't believe being in the same place with hobbies and such or being physically attracted to the other person are the qualifiers for a good marriage. In a long-lasting marriage, the partners should grow together, not spread apart. I personally think that it is more important that a couple work towards the same goal than start from the same place. So basically, instead of it being all about "we're in the right place now to be in love with each other and get married" it's more like "Are we going the same place? Are our goals compatible? If I put the other person in this relationship before me, will I be able to live with that? What will I have to sacrifice for their good?"
If there's anything I know for a psychological truth, it is that people change. In a spouse, you would want someone you can change along with, not someone you loved only for how they were at a particular point in your life.
That's just my two cents. I'm not a marriage expert, so don't take it too seriously.
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OK, just got back and don't know what I'm getting into but:
I'm a Christian. My reason for abstinence is because I have a moral standard about regrets, specifically, that I don't want anybody to have them because of me. A sexual relationship doesn't have to produce a child to end in regret, people regret sexual relationships of all kinds all of the time. In my opinion, even if there's just a 30%-20% chance that a relationship will end in regret, it's not worth it. Not worth the risk of me making somebody else's life feel terrible forever.
Granted, I seem to be less concerned with the physical aspect of romantic relationships than most men. So I can't really speak for too many other people.
As for my feelings on marriage, I think marriage is not about a legally binding contract or having some pastor say "man and wife". It's a commitment between two people to love each other exclusively for the rest of their lives. I don't have personal experience with this (duh) but from what I hear from people I trust, the best relationships are those that have an element of exclusivity. So really, in my opinion marriage isn't about making sex official, it's about commitment. And you can be just as committed without a fancy ring as you are with one.
So basically: IMO, save sex and children for when you find someone to spend the rest of your life with. Read some statistics and they'll scare the heck out of you if you think raising a boy without a father figure will probably turn out better in the end.
Oh, and in response to Shoblongoo's post: I think I fit into that category you're talking about. I really wouldn't mind if my future spouse had had previous sexual partners. I don't like beating people up over past mistakes they've come to regret. If they didn't seem to think that sexual relationships are a big deal emotionally and that exclusivity has a real value in a relationship, then we probably wouldn't "click" in the first place as those things are important to me.
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The last day of Spring Break... gone already...
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