Wist

On one monitor I have an ultralisk about to rip to shreds a lone marine, an embodiment of pure manliness. My task-bar is twice the default height, and the marine stands directly atop it. On the other monitor I have a concept illustration from Sin and Punishment 2 with ships and ruined buildings, an embodiment of pure badassness. Sin and Punishment 2 wallpaper (Over 1mb) I must add an extra exclamation point to the first image. EDIT: This post doesn't break the formatting in Firefox 3.5, so I'm going to blindly assume the same is true for all relevant browsers.

These billions of particles each moved at half the speed of light, and there was insufficient time to avoid the approaching field of scathing peril. A gruesome smile flashed across the captain's face and he donned his sunglasses while ordered the shield disengaged. Positional thrusters dotting the Eggbeater's gorgeous hull gleamed an eerie glow. In mere seconds its magnificent egg beating blades were aligned with the incoming cloud. "What are doing?!" exclaimed an exasperated vice admiral. Brow sweat continued to pool on the floor but the captain laughed a laugh of great merriment as the Eggbeater's blades spun faster than they had ever spun before. Suddenly a tremendous hissing was heard throughout the bridge, the second sound so powerful as to be transmissible through the vacuum of space. The Eggbeater's crew swayed wildly, each person desperate to dodge approaching radiation, but the sunglassed captain assured them such safety precautions were unnecessary. The rapidly spinning blades drew toward themselves every passing atom of ionized hydrogen, and whirled ever faster as energies of unfathomable magnitude were absorbed. "Our might is incontestable," the captain shouted, but, as he did so, his sunglasses shattered and shards of darkened glass penetrated his eyeballs.

I remember when I told you that your signature was too large.

You aren't necessarily imagining things. The story is what you make of it. I implore someone who is not me to continue it so that it may become an epic saga deserving of infinite worldly renown.

It was a moment of time like any other in the farthest extents of the galaxy. Piss boring. The Eggbeater hurtled through space. For many years it had sluiced dust into its rapidly spinning blades as it carved through the interstellar vacuum. No spacecraft more beautiful was known to any universe, and only light was known to rival its sublime speed. Tearing apart space-time like a nuclear missile tears apart dehydrated rice, the Eggbeater was decelerating at the end of its trek to a large but insignificant Jovian planet. Suddenly, from the planets thick, hydrogen rich atmosphere rose an vessel of behemoth proportions. The Eggbeater picked up trace signatures of an interstellar propulsion drive of impossible power. The rival craft arced into the planet's orbit and nestled itself among one of its many icy rings. As per its form, the crew of the Eggbeater dubbed it the Cheese Grater. Through its many millions of pores, the Cheese Grater exuded superheated hydrogen. Its incredible potential for thrust was immeasurable. The Eggbeater was the culmination of a thousand races' worth of knowledge, its design was perfect and its power supreme. How was it that the energies leaking from the Cheese Grater indicated it could graze even closer to the speed of light? The Eggbeater's huge diamond plated blades revved up to eight hundred billion revolutions per second as it prepared to engage this preternatural craft born of unknowable heresy. Without warning, huge stretches of the Jovian's sky were fired at inconceivable speeds towards the Eggbeater. The ejecta was hotter than any star and acted like a flamethrower extending multiple light seconds into the void. Was this attack orchestrated by the Cheese Grater? Was the Eggbeater outmatched by its mysterious adversary? The Eggbeater's crew willed the ship immune to inertia, and it performed jarring turns and accelerations without turning its crew into sticky red mud. These tactics could not, however, be relied on forever, and the Cheese Grater grew ever more ominous as it drew forth from the planetary ring in which it had previously settled. Beads of salty sweat began to trickle from the brow of the Eggbeater's captain. The brow of the Eggbeater's captain collected beads of salty sweat. ... continue the saga ...

Wist isn't manly enough to go Rambo on Ninji/Roxas's ass, let alone Shuuda's. Now going Richard Simmons on his ass, on the other hand...

Okay.

You're not allowed to acknowledge the invisible set of background rules. Even I am under threat of irrevocable banishment if ever I profess awareness of the secret warning procedures. If warns are still administered as they were... some random number of months past, your warn level should decay approximately every thirty days since the last time you received a warn level increase or decrease. If more than a month has passed since your warn level was last adjusted then it might be in your interests to submit a private message to a moderator (ideally whoever issued the last warning but it shouldn't <i>really</i> matter who) asking if it's yet due for a decrement. The hint should be conveyed. Keep in mind that this is how I handled warn removals when I was a moderator, and that possibly they are now handled differently.

This bag of potato chips and cold air is discharged.