blah the Prussian

God fucking dammit. I love history, I love Ace Attorney, that game would have been perfect for me.

/in

Incidentally, I wasn't talking about civilian oversight, I was talking about a situation in which police forces do not exist, due to no tax money going in to them, and thus private armies are the order of the day. I am aware that that is probably not what you support, and that is good. Also that woman in that video has another definition of freedom, and one that is complete bullshit. Civilization is a contract between people and government that both sides have to uphold.

Well I have a bad habit of thinking up a story perfect for the last prompt the day after said prompt is done. Honestly if we had another anything goes competition then I'd probably do it. Also can we have a rule that neither of the entrants can vote because I'll be unable to vote for a week and Jank will have to vote for me? That would be an unfair advantage.

Hello and welcome back to Pokemon Firered! Last time, we explored Seafoam, and discovered that, shockingly enough, Pokemon isn't always realistic! This time, we see what exactly lies a few pixels above the screen we ended on. OH MY GOD ITS SOMETHING LEGENDARY AND BIRDLIKE! WHOEVER COULD HAVE GUESSED? I start by weakening it, of course. Flame Wheel does just enough to get Articuno into the red. Well, time to dig in for the long haul and catch this thing. Or Articuno could be caught in one ball. That works too. Thanks Articuno! There can be no vacation until the scourge of Woodrow Wilson is whipped off the planet. Also this is a terrible place to have a vacation. Seriously, this is a deserted island! No hotels! This joke... there is no honor in this joke. It is made far too easily, too unsubtly. No, I shall turn away from this joke, for to tell it would be akin to taking candy from a baby. Well, here we are. Cinnibar Island in all its glory. I'm sure nothing bad will happen here in the next three years! Well, crap. I guess I should do something else then? We interrupt our scheduled Pokemon broadcasting to bring you the opening to every horror movie ever. Sorry for the short update. I have to go to bed. See you in a week, after Berlin!

Well thats what the cops are for isn't it now? Also theres the fact that the kid has a bunch of monsters he can use on you in return.

Hey actually aren't you out of a job considering that in most monarchies a monarch starts ruing in their own right at the age of 16?

That's actually probably true. Like, Pokemon has simple stories, but they for the most part make sense.

Title: "Dude, Where's my Respect": Marcus Agrippa Characters: Agrippa, Octavian, Marc Antony, Caesar, Cleopatra, Brutus, Cassius Words: 1599 [spoiler= "Here it is"] Marcus Agrippa was and is a fascinating historical figure for several reasons, the most prominent being that he devoted his entire life and his not inconsiderable talents to the service of his best friend. Agrippa was the second in command of Augustus, the first Emperor of Rome. He was one of the best generals in Roman history and is somewhat unique in history for being a successful Roman general who did not use his military influence to achieve influence elsewhere. This is his life, as well as the pilot episode of a segment I have decided to start here where I talk about historical figures who I think should get more recognition. So, lets get started. So Agrippa was born in 63 B.C. into a noble Roman family, and right away it was clear he was going to join the army. He met his master and lifelong friend Octavius, later Octavian and later still Augustus, during their education. Now, Octavius was very close to Julius Caesar, who would later (crucially) adopt him as his son and heir, so when Caesar started the Roman civil war with the Senate in his attempt to become absolute dictator of Rome, Agrippa joined Caesar’s army. He served with distinction, and rose through the ranks quickly. Eventually Caesar succeeded in declaring himself dictator for life of Rome, and it looked like Agrippa’s war was over. However, that wasn’t what happened, because I am not yet at the thousand word limit. So in 44 B.C., on the Ides of March, a group of senators, led by two extremely influential senators named Gaius Cassius and Marcus Brutus, murdered Caesar, thinking he was going to crown himself King of Rome and betray the Republic. He almost certainly wasn’t; to do so would be political suicide, and Caesar was too smart for that. So anyway, the assassination succeeded, and Brutus and Cassius hoped that they would be able to seize control of Rome. Unfortunately for them, this didn’t happen, largely because Caesar’s progressive policies regarding the common people had made them very supportive of him, and they did not take kindly to his murder. So Brutus and Cassius fled the city of Rome, and raised armies in open rebellion against Caesar’s faction. This faction was led by Octavius, now calling himself Octavian, as Caesar’s (adopted) son and heir, and Marc Antony, Caesar’s second in command in the military. Now, the elephant in the room between these two was who would succeed Caesar, but Octavian and Antony resolved to put off this question for now. There was a murder to be avenged. Agrippa had, through all of this, managed to reach a rather high rank in the army. Thus, he was with the host drawn up by Octavian and Antony when the two of them marched to the town of Philippi to do battle with the rebel army of Brutus and Cassius. The Battle of Philippi was a smashing victory for the army of Antony and Octavian. On the first day of the battle, Brutus led his men into Octavian’s camp, which they stormed. However, a fair amount of Octavian’s legionnaires, including Agrippa and Octavian himself, escaped. Brutus’s men stopped to loot the camp, allowing Octavian’s troops to reform completely for the second day of the battle. Meanwhile, Antony had trounced Cassius’s army on the other side of the battle. Fleeing to a hill, Cassius tried to make out what was happening on Brutus’s end, hoping in all probability that Brutus could rescue him. However, he thought that Brutus too had been defeated, and so killed himself to avoid capture, believing all to be lost. For several weeks after the first day of the battle, Octavian moved to outflank Brutus, occupying Cassius’s former camp. Brutus, meanwhile, took up a defensive position, but his men pressured him to go on the attack, which he eventually did. The second Battle of Philippi was a battle of attrition, but eventually Octavian and Antony’s army triumphed. Brutus killed himself to avoid capture. In the aftermath of the defeat of Brutus and Cassius, Antony and Octavian pretty much agreed to split control of the Roman Republic between the two of them. This arrangement, while quite naturally extremely unstable all around, lasted for around a decade before it broke down. When it did, it would mark the fall of the Roman Republic and the birth of something new and far, far more glorious. This was in the future, though, and for now, Octavian had to conquer some tribes in Gallia (no Laguz included, though if they were there the Romans would totally kick their asses). Octavian left Agrippa in charge of the defense and administration of the city. It is at this moment that Agrippa is generally agreed to have officially become his best friend’s second in command. So Agrippa had to hold Rome against Sextus, a rebel general who occupied the island of Sicily. This he did with extreme competence, and he was soon assigned bigger and bigger posts, including governor of Aquitaine (modern day southern France). Agrippa generally helped out around the house, so to speak, with Octavian’s administration, putting down revolt after revolt and gaining more and more respect and recognition from the Roman army. Now, with quite frankly no more common enemies left to fight, Octavian and Antony could concentrate all their resources on deciding once and for all who would inherit the position of the most powerful man in the world. It should be noted that this was probably one of the most decisive moments in Roman history, if not in all of history. If Octavian, as the son of Caesar, won, then a precedent for hereditary succession, and thereby monarchy, would be set. If Antony, as Caesar’s second in command, won, then the precedent for appointment of successors, and thereby military dictatorship, would be set. The two sides were ready to fight the decisive war for control of Rome. So what started this decisive and final Roman Civil War? Well, the vast majority of you forumites most likely know of Cleopatra, Pharaoh of Egypt. Pretty much, Caesar had helped her take the throne of Egypt and even fathered her son, Caesarion. So after Caesar died, Antony actually got a thing going with her, and they fell in love. Antony planned to take control of Rome with the help of Cleopatra. Love alone, however, was not going to convince the Pharaoh. So, to win his lover over, Antony kind of sort of gave her all Roman territories in the Middle East and Africa in 33 B.C. The Senate, needless to say, was not amused. This worked greatly to Octavian’s favor, and the Senate voted, at Octavian’s enthusiastic urging, to declare war on Egypt and Roman forces loyal to Antony. For the Roman Republic, it was the beginning of the end. So, despite Antony on paper having given a great deal of Roman land to Cleopatra, in practice that land still belonged to Rome. This was because Egypt essentially lacked the ability to project power to its new acquisitions. Thus, it was a simple matter for the Roman legions occupying those territories to retake them. With Antony’s war off to a rough start, the time came for Octavian to go on the offensive. To do this, though, he would need to secure the Mediterranean. This task fell to Agrippa. Agrippa moved Antony’s fleet out near the town of Actium, to face the fleets of Antony and Cleopatra. The Battle of Actium would decide the war. As the battle was joined, Antony tried to flank Agrippa’s fleet, thereby gaining the advantage. Agrippa, however, held back, luring Antony away from Cleopatra’s fleet. When the time was right, Agrippa charged, routing Antony’s fleet when he was without reinforcement. Antony just barely escaped. Seeing her lover on the verge of defeat, Cleopatra retreated back to Egypt. Octavian had full control of the seas. With this objective achieved, Agrippa and Octavian marched their army through the Middle East down to Egypt. With con troll of the seas, the army could be supplied over the water and not over the land, which was much quicker. Agrippa’s men reached Alexandria, the capitol of Egypt at the time, in 30 B.C. The Last War of the Roman Republic was nearing its end. Antony’s army had already been mostly destroyed by the Roman legions in Libya by the time Agrippa and Octavian reached Alexandria. Antony demanded that his men fight on to the end, but the majority of them surrendered. Cleopatra fled to her maloseum, and Antony committed suicide rather than be taken prisoner. Cleopatra, too, would famously kill herself a few days later. Octavian would name himself Pharaoh of Egypt and, later, declare himself absolute Emperor of Rome, the Augustus. The Roman Republic was dead. The Roman Empire was born. Augustus and his descendants would preside over the greatest period of peace in European history: the Pax Romana., or Roman peace. As for Agrippa, he continued assisting his master and friend for the rest of his life. Many of Rome’s greatest architectural achievements can be attributed to him. He would eventually marry Augustus’s daughter Julia, and would end his life as the governor of Pannonia (in modern day Romania), a province that he himself conquered. His bromance with Augustus was one of the most badass in history, as his military skill combined with Augustus’s political skill to propel the friends to becoming the two most powerful men in the world. This has been “Dude, where’s my Respect” (what I decided to title the segment) and thank you for reading.

I believe the Okhrana would like a word with you.

Go monarchy! Lets use his majesty's party as a chance to spread monarchy across the world!

Dude, you didn't show the Hamid Kharzai quote at the beginning that made me laugh out loud the first time I saw it. In any case, the Augur is watching you, according to the Ministry of Truth.

Hello and welcome back to Pokemon Firered! Apologies for the unannounced hiatus; getting back to school was crazy and the like. As a notice, starting Monday and ending Friday the LP will again be on hiatus, because I have a class trip to Berlin where 99% of my time will be spent doing stuff or eating Kebabs (if you ever find yourself in Europe, especially Turkey, you owe it to yourself to try the Doner Kebabs. They are amazing). With that out of the way, lets begin! We start out this update giving this old man those teeth we found in the Safari Zone! Well, thanks for THAT mental image. It doesn't matter though, as we get Surf, which is not only required t o complete the game, its a great move, unlike most HMs. So here we are heading south, towards Seafoam Islands and maybe something more... legendary? Also probably birdlike. No. No I can't. Ive been afraid to get my face wet since before I could walk. And do you know why? Because water has been known to cause drowning, which is bad. Thats why we as human beings evolved legs. No, but you can have something else, if you know what I mean. Well, here we are at the Seafoam Islands. I fear what Arnold Schwarzenegger would do if he was here. You know, this really makes no sense. Like, for it to be cold inside, it has to be cold outside, too. Well, as Chuggaaconroy would say: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jaJFUAHGQM Well, in order to proceed, it looks like the time has come for... strength puzzles! Remember, folks, these ones started the whole thing, so they are deserving of even more hatred. THERE! FINALLY! You have no idea how annoying that was! Well, I suppose you do, if you've ever played Firered. Or Leafgreen. Or Red and Blue. Or Yellow. Or, I suppose, Green, the version that was only released in Japan. I'll just stop there. What could be just a few pixels up? Is it, by any chance, legendary or birdlike? Find out tomorrow on Pokemon Firered!

Leipzig. I'd learn all about the decisive battle of the Napoleonic Wars.

No, the end date is August 30.

While I have not played 2 or 1 I got 4 on the day it was done. I started with 3 And it quite appealed to me. Killing natives was never so fun.

What, in your view, was the principle cause of the rise of nationalism in Europe during the 19th century? Be concise.

There once was a king from Iberia Who colonized all of Siberia. Tsar Pyotr was mad, But knew he had been had, And decided to annex Liberia.

/in.

The first fucking time someone obliges, and it just happens to happen to me. God dammit Crysta.

Well, I'm subject to Apartheid again, I guess.

And so we lay this Nuzlocke to rest with great celebration. It was a great run, and actually made watching a Nuzlocke fun for me. Everyone else felt stiff and un inviting, but your run was different, Shuuda. For that, I salute you.

May your birthday be as monarchist as possible!

Comrades, the march against the Summit begins! Let Comrade Shuuda and his glorious worker Pokemon triumph in their quest for global revolution!