Candlejack Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 A JEW??? IN MY FIRE EMBLEMS??? All signs point to yes, or more specifically, Merlinus. Before I proceed this is a 100% absolutely super duper serial awesome topic that should be regarded in the ultra mega highest form of security. So Merlinus is a Jew mainly because: 1. HIS NOSE IS FUCKING HUGE compared to the rest of the cast. List of people with bigger noses than Merlinus: Bartre (Who is clearly a Germanic bisexual), Douglas (who FUCKING ROCKS COCKS), Wallace (He is also a faggot old man who wants to get into Eagler's pants), Darin (A Jew as well, since he craves power over everything), Fargus (Who is a fucking man's man), and very few generic bosses. OUT OF BOTH GAMES HE APPEARS IN, only these several have larger noses. 2. Merlinus does not fight, but rather makes a tent in an immovable spot that cannot fight but only manage your items, thus proving further he is a possession-hoarding Jew. Not just that, but the fact that you actually NEED a guard for him also signifies the Jew's desire for protection. 3. He is described as "timid and easily frightened". He also screams a lot when in unfavorable situations, revealing to us he is a cowardly Jew. However, if he is defeated, he exclaims, "That does it! I'm leaving before all of my finest goods get stolen!" Selfish Jew much? 4. In his supports with Nino, he forces her to work with him in his inventory and in their A conversation, he states, "...Ahem. Nino, we still have work to do... Mustn't be layabouts"! While Nino is reminiscing about her past life in the Black Fang and how she misses Uncle Jan, the heartless Merlinus reminds her to work. For what consequences might occur if she does not? It isn't certain. 5. Merlinus is a pedophile, which is a staple characteristic of a full-fledged Jew. While speaking with Nino, again, he states, "Well, if it's just for a little while, I don't mind taking Uncle Jan's place for a bit and maybe playing a game or two with you..." What a happenstance! I think not. 6. When he is not hoarding items together as if they were his Jew spawn, he is lazy, shown in Marcus' support conversations when he even falls asleep in the middle of battle. Worse yet, he managed to poison Marcus; it is explained perfectly in their B support, when he gives Marcus some sweets for "good nature". They really are nerf sweets, and can obviously be analyzed by merely comparing FE7 Marcus and FE6 Marcus; going from an Oifaye to a Jeigan! Truly a selfish bastard, Merlinus got his revenge on Marcus in order to laze about more often. There are many more examples of this hidden message, but it is up to you to defraud this evil rat. For the people who cannot understand basic internet sarcasm or who can't take a joke, then GTFO now and don't come back. GOD BLESS HIKAMERICA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luftwaffe Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 well this was certainly well thought out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 You've...put a lot of time and thought into this, haven't you? :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candlejack Posted December 30, 2009 Author Share Posted December 30, 2009 @Salmonella: Damn straight. @Furet: It takes time trying to find a Jew. They cover their tracks excellently due to their shapeshifting powers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uguu Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 (edited) There is no God to bless Hikamerica Edited December 30, 2009 by Hikarusa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 Wow, this is actually pretty good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrashGordon94 Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 This seems pretty racist. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PostPavilion Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 Not bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just call me AL Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 This seems pretty racist. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryan Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 @Furet: It takes time trying to find a Jew. They cover their tracks excellently due to their shapeshifting powers. ^This was the part that made me laugh the hardest. And he said it was a joke... o.o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkhead Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 Hikamerica. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mousefire Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 You've...put a lot of time and thought into this, haven't you? :P He put more time in it than Luminothe's theory Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soviet Gregor Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 Merlinus is a name of Russian-Jew descent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Communard Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 (edited) Exhibit number 203 RE: Why Goyim Can't Make Good Jew Jokes. Not even any obligatory yiddish or Protocol's jabs? Don't be such a vilda chaya--what will your bubba think? Stop playing with your schlon and have some saykehl. Edited December 30, 2009 by Le Communard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hero Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 Exhibit number 203 RE: Why Goyim Can't Make Good Jew Jokes. Not even any obligatory yiddish or Protocol's jabs? Don't be such a vilda chaya--what will your bubba think? Stop playing with your schlon and have some saykehl. I think Robert of Lenster is himself a Rootless Cosmopolitan. He's been on my list of "doctors" ever since this topic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Communard Posted December 31, 2009 Share Posted December 31, 2009 Exhibit number 203 RE: Why Goyim Can't Make Good Jew Jokes. Not even any obligatory yiddish or Protocol's jabs? Don't be such a vilda chaya--what will your bubba think? Stop playing with your schlon and have some saykehl. I think Robert of Lenster is himself a Rootless Cosmopolitan. He's been on my list of "doctors" ever since this topic. For sure. For sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candlejack Posted December 31, 2009 Author Share Posted December 31, 2009 There is no God to bless Hikamerica are you retarded. YOU are the god of Hikamerica. @Crash: I'm not racist. Racism is a crime and crime is for money-hoarding Jews. @princeharold: Thank you. @mousefire: Luminothe's theory was crap. This is legit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Communard Posted December 31, 2009 Share Posted December 31, 2009 Oy gevult! And now you don't even listen to your own bubbe! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Laufeyson Posted December 31, 2009 Share Posted December 31, 2009 Wow, this is actually pretty good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hero Posted December 31, 2009 Share Posted December 31, 2009 (edited) Oy gevult! And now you don't even listen to your own bubbe! Hebrews don't accept criticism, they are far too prideful. And too often the criticism is unfounded, the wispy tendrils of their strange plans move in unseen ways. Where the knife is foolish poison is wise. I'm familiar with their subtleties myself, all too familiar. Their sorcery makes me use gas at twice the normal rate, disappears the food in my refrigerator and causes stains to appear on my clothing in the night. Edited December 31, 2009 by Hero Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uguu Posted December 31, 2009 Share Posted December 31, 2009 There is no God to bless Hikamerica are you retarded. YOU are the god of Hikamerica. I am no mere God, and I will bless nothing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangerine Posted December 31, 2009 Share Posted December 31, 2009 what the hell is this?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candlejack Posted December 31, 2009 Author Share Posted December 31, 2009 what the hell is this?! What are you, dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I'm the goddamn Jewman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hero Posted December 31, 2009 Share Posted December 31, 2009 what the hell is this?! What are you, dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I'm the goddamn Jewman. Now now, calm down. You don't want to have to go back to Birobidzhan, do you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikethfc Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 Hath not a Merlinus hands? If you prick a Merlinus does he not bleed? If you tickle a Merlinus does he not laugh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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