Lemmings on the Run (part 2: not serious)

CT075 · October 7, 2010

Unless I'm mistaken, doesn't the Aum staff break, not kill the user?

Almost there. Can't wait for the finale~

eclipse · October 7, 2010

Unless I'm mistaken, doesn't the Aum staff break, not kill the user?

Almost there. Can't wait for the finale~

The Aum staff won't kill her. The arrow in her stomach will. That was for next chapter.

Thanks! I've gotta take a break, because my head hurts. It's getting done today or tomorrow. . .okay, break over! I'll post this chapter, and see if I have enough room for the Epilogue.

Endgame

The sun slowly marched down the horizon, as the victorious army gathered for their final dinner. Small conversation popped up here and there, but it soon faded. They were happy about Tiki's return, but Marth had lost his sister in the process. After their return from the tower, they'd built a crude coffin for her, so she could be transported to Altea for burial. Once the coffin had been closed, Marth had retreated to his tent. None were courageous enough to approach that tent.

Perhaps that was a good thing, for they would have seen their prince curled up in a ball, quietly sobbing to himself.

---

He was all by himself. His father had died way back when Gra was considered an ally. His mother had perished to a Mage Dragon. His sister, who he'd just found, had her life stolen by a single stray arrow through her stomach. His family was gone.

"Mar-Mar?" a timid voice asked. Out of everyone in the army, only the dragon girl had the temerity to barge in at a time like this!

"Tiki, not now," he said, between sniffles.

"Mar-Mar, your dinner's getting cold. I brought it for you." Marth looked up, and saw Tiki place a plate of food on a spare box. It still smelled good.

"I--I'll eat later. Thank you, Tiki." Instead of taking the hint, she walked up to him.

"Mar-Mar, why are you sad?" No, she wasn't asking this out of malice. She couldn't comprehend what it was like to slowly lose everyone she cared about.

"I. . ." The prince's voice trailed off. Once again, he saw his dear sister, reclined in a sanguine pool. His eyes began to mist over. Not now!

"You're crying for Big Sister?" Marth could only nod mutely.

"Well. . .Big Sister told me to fight in her place, so that means I'm representing her. That means I'm your big sister!" Despite the mood, Tiki giggled.

"Tiki, it's not that simple--"

"If I'm your big sister, that means everyone else is a part of your family too! I'll introduce everyone! Come on!!" Before Marth could protest, Tiki had run out of the tent, his hand in hers. She was surprisingly strong for such a little girl!

The central bonfire crackled merrily. The evening meal was almost over, but no one had left the comforting light of the fire yet. As one, they looked up when they saw their leader unexpectedly emerge from the tent, with Tiki leading him.

"Hey everyone! I'm gonna introduce you to Mar-Mar!" Several murmurs rippled through the crowd, but it didn't stop the dragon girl's improvised speech.

"That person over there is Horsey, because he lets me feed his horse sometimes!"

"Have I been reduced to being identified by my steed?" Abel mumbled under his breath.

"Hey Tiki, what would happen if Horsey lost his horse?" Julian called out.

"Then he'd be Lance!" she replied cheerfully.

"Julian, you're making this worse!" the mortified paladin snapped, which caused a round of giggles.

"The guy with the red hair is Thiefy, because he always sneaks sweets to me!"

"Looks like I'm not the only one who can't say no to Tiki," Abel teased Julian.

"Oh, stuff it!"

"The one in white is Gordy, and he always tells me funny stories about his little brother!"

"I can't imagine you being an older anything," Tomas grumbled, just a little too loudly.

"The one in the blue robes is Merry, and he's teaching me how to read!" Draug arched an eyebrow at Merric, who ducked behind his plate.

"The one in black robes is Doga, and he knows everything!" Draug felt his cheeks go red.

"The big guy is Mr. Hero, and he's a really good singer!" More than one round of snickers made its way around the fire.

"Hey Mr. Hero, can you sing for us?" Abel asked in a girly voice. Sedgar growled in reply.

"The one with the bow is my sister, Palla! She's so nice!" Tomas coughed loudly.

"Oh, and then there's that dummy Tom-Tom, but Palla seems to like him, so I guess he can be part of the family."

"TIKI!" two voices cried out. The giggles transformed into honest laughs.

"Hey kid, I knew you could do it!" Sedgar said enthusiastically, as he gave Tomas a very hard slap on the back.

"I said I'm not interested in such a bossy girl!" the winded dracoknight protested.

"What did you call me?" Palla said, unamused.

"Scary girl, scary girl!" Tomas shot back.

"Why you--"

"Hey, you two. Get a room," Julian said.

"Ummm. . .get a room? Doga, what does get a room mean?"

"It means. . .err. . .that they're being mean to each other, and need to go on time out." Gordin sputtered hard.

"Wow, Doga, you really do know everything. Sister and Tom-Tom, stop fighting or you'll need to get a room! Huh? What's so funny?" Everyone save Marth had exploded into laughter. Marth stood in front of his troops, completely confused.

"What. . .about me?" a feminine voice asked. Tiki peered at the newcomer, then gasped in shock.

"You look like me! I wanna be as cool as you when I grow up! You can be Future Me!" The woman chuckled.

"I'm. . .your future? Very well, child."

"See, Mar-Mar? You've got plenty of brothers and sisters! Come play with us!" The prince had only heard half of what the energetic girl had said. Elice had mentioned the same thing earlier. . .but how could this innocent girl know that? Perhaps his sister was watching him, through Tiki's eyes. He felt himself smile.

"Okay, Tiki, you win." He'd started with an army. Tiki's introductions had turned them into people.

"YAAAY! Tell us a joke, Mar-Mar!"

"Umm. . .okay. Knock-knock."

"Who's there?" Tomas yelled out.

"Interrupting cow." the prince responded.

"Interrup--" Gordin never got the rest of the statement out.

"MOOOOO!" Marth's new family shared a hearty chuckle.

"I. . .I don't believe it. I've been had by a prince that talks like a cow!" The chuckle turned into side-splitting laughter.

"C'mon Gordin, that joke's been around Altea several times over," Merric said, while elbowing the naive bishop in the ribs.

"I know, but it's Marth! I wasn't expecting--"

"That's why it's a joke, my dear Gordin," the sage replied, not giving his friend a break.

"Merry, stop being mean to Gordy, or you'll need to get a room!" This time, Marth joined in on the laughter that followed.

Nagi watched the one that had awoken her, and the ones that followed him. They laughed and teased each other, and the little girl that was so much like her was responsible for most of it. It did not look like the type of scene that one would expect before the final battle.

(I have been asleep for too long. . .)

Final Forge: Silver Moon (+10 MT +40 HIT Hand Axe. . .basically, Hauteclere on steroids)

Hey, no, what the. . .STOP BEATING UP MY LEMMINGS!!!

Here's where my stat boosters went (forgot exactly who got how many of certain ones, and I'm probably missing a few):

Seraph Robe: Tiki x3, Julian, Draug

Energy Drop: Tomas x2, Tiki ate the rest

Spirit Dust: All Gordin

Skill Book: I forgot who got this one

Speedwings: Tomas x2, Tiki, Julian, Palla, and I forgot the rest

Goddess Icon: Sedgar, Abel, Palla got the rest

Dracoshield: Sedgar, Tiki got the rest

Talisman: Unnecessary

Tomas got the stat boosters he did because I needed him to kill a Pachyderm with Silver Moon. Sedgar got his so that he'd be able to face Medeus, if necessary. Palla got hers so she wouldn't face random criticals. Julian and Draug got theirs because their HP was that bad. Gordin got his so that Fortify would do something. And Tiki. . .was my Medeus killer.

I killed off both Pachyderms ASAP, and the Dracoknight and Bishop on the right. Merric earned himself a very nice award for the Epilogue, while I worked everyone else towards Medeus' lair. Eventually, I rigged it so that Marth would distract the Magestone dude, while Tomas taunted the Hero. One hit from the Railgun, and one Tiki-powered Divinestone blast later, and I ended the chapter. Total turns: 9.

Medeus had done well to keep his best troops near him, for Marth's army had gone from green soldiers in Talys to a terrifying force. Even though their might was divided, they pressed on, determined to end the war.

"I will put an end to this. Watch me, Cain," the paladin from Altea mumbled, as an unlucky general found a new hole in his chest.

(I fight so my brother will never have to), Gordin thought to himself, as he channeled the power he'd worked so hard for into the staff he'd been given specifically for this battle. When the staff's light faded, he smiled, for his power had helped everyone.

"No more futures will be cut short," the stoic knight-turned-sorcerer said, as the light of his staff took away an ally's pain.

(Teacher. . .Elice. . .I wish you were here to see this). Excalibur blew an enemy straight into a wall. Merric nodded at the job he did before moving on.

(You may not be with me, but your spirits live on in the friends I've made. All of you would like them. . .even you, Wolf). As if on cue, an enemy charged Sedgar, who cut him down before he could get his defenses up. The plainsman shook his head, and ran down the now-deserted hallway.

"These people. . .are very strong. . ." Nagi mused. A very familiar enemy appeared. It didn't know of the power of the Divinestone. She intended to teach him about it.

---

"I'm. . .I'm here," Marth gasped out. This was the entrance to the throne room, and on that throne was a very large silhouette. It roared a challenge. Marth charged forward.

"So, foolish boy, you want to end your life against me?" This thing could talk?!

"I am Marth of Altea, and I will stop you!" the prince said as bravely as he could.

"I will destroy you and your pathetic army!" Medeus roared out. He was so intimidating. . .but the dragon before him couldn't be allowed to live!

"Marth, we found you!" Palla yelled. Tomas steadied his dragon, who was more than a little nervous around Medeus.

"You little pests want to die here? I'll gladly grant your wish!" Dolhr's leader declared.

"There's an ugly-looking thing coming out near Medeus. Can you handle that?" Tomas asked calmly. Falchion gleamed in response.

"You take care of that enemy over there," Marth said, pointing towards the soldier with the axe that ran towards the group.

"You leave your fighting to mere girls? You are a coward!"

(This blade. . .it calls for the blood of an evil dragon. . .but I must make sure these enemies don't get past me!) A dragon, scales black as night, fell before Falchion's might.

(The sacrifice of my friends won't be in vain! It's time for me to protect someone!) The enemy with the axe was no match for the dracoknight.

"This is for my sisters. All of them," Palla stated, as she drew back her bow. Julian had given it to her, and she'd asked for some modifications when the army had stopped by a forge. The result was almost too powerful for her to handle, but she was determined to master it. The arrow flew straight and true to its target.

"You little. . .YOU WILL BE THE FIRST TO DIE!"

"Ban-Ban. . .Big Sister. . .you died for my sake. . .and I promise I won't let any more people die like that!" The girl who was unsure of herself at Chiasmir was gone. Instead, a seasoned Divine Dragon faced the Earth Dragon. The light from her Stone pierced the gloom in the throne room.

"I will protect my family!!"

Edited October 7, 2010 by eclipse

eclipse · October 7, 2010

Looks like the Epilogue gets its own post, because I've got a bunch of write-up that goes with it. Once done, I'll get around to starting the second run. . .the funny one. Be scared, everyone! The rules will change, but I won't say how!

Epilogue

The dying rays of the sun painted the Dolhr landscape, taking the last of the once-mighty kingdom's glory with it. This would be the first night without the threat of an enemy. Tonight, the victors would sleep well.

"After all we've been through. . .it's over." The group cheered as its leader made that statement.

"Never in my wildest dreams did I think the battle for my home would turn into a war to save the world. All of you, thank you for staying by Marth's side." Applause followed Nyna's words.

"Mar-Mar, when's dinner?" Tiki called out.

"It's almost done," the hungry prince replied.

"That's a relief. This time, I'll be around to eat it," Sedgar grumbled.

"Oh, Sedgar. I remembered what happened back in Archanea. I've requested something special, just for you!" Nyna said, an uncharacteristic mischief in her voice.

"I don't like the sound of that," the unlucky hero said to no one in particular. The smells of dinner beckoned. He answered its call, albeit a little nervously.

---

The fierce battle had left one of the dining rooms untouched. Dinner had been a hasty affair, but--

"Herb-crusted chicken? When did you find the time to do this?" Sedgar asked.

"That dish doesn't take as long to prepare as you think it does," Nyna answered mysteriously.

"My favorite! MINE!" Tomas called, as he dove for a piece.

"Not a chance, kid! You're the reason why I missed it the first time!"

"Are you sure the two of you aren't related?" Abel inquired. The hero and the dracoknight regarded each other for a moment.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

---

The war was over. The army broke up into individuals, each with his or her own destination.

"Where are you headed?" Abel asked Julian. Deep down, the paladin would miss the thief.

"Palla said she's going home to Macedon, so I'm going with her. It's the least I can do for Princess Maria," the thief answered casually.

"If you ever find yourself in Altea, feel free to stop by and say hi."

"I'll find a way to take you up on that!"

---

"Tiki, what are you doing?" Marth found the dragon girl staring off into the distance at Dolhr Keep.

"Oh, hi Mar-Mar. I said bye-bye to Future Me!" Despite her words, Tiki wore a big smile.

"Nagi left already?!" How could anyone leave that fast?

"Yep! She went back home!"

"What will you do, Tiki?" She had no home that Marth knew of, and Bantu seemed like her caretaker. He would be more than happy to invite her to Altea, of course!

"Old Man and Meanie said they want me back home, so I'll go meet them!"

"Should I ask who they are?" Did this girl give nicknames to everyone?

"No need!" With a giggle, the dragon girl ran off, carefree as always.

"I hope the two she mentioned can handle that," the prince mumbled, before walking towards the rest of his knights.

The dragon girl stopped and looked behind her. She smiled, and her form slowly changed into that of a boy.

"Meanie!" Tiki cried out.

"You already had a chance to say your goodbyes! You'd never let them leave if you had it your way!" the boy lectured her.

"They're my family!" the girl argued.

"Don't worry, you'll see them again! Sheesh. . .you're such a handful, Tiki." The boy rolled his eyes. The girl pouted.

"But--" The boy put his hands on the girl's shoulders.

"Once things have settled down, I'll take you around and you can say hi to everyone."

"You promise?" Ugh, those eyes! How could he NOT promise her?

"Yes, Tiki, I promise."

"You'd better, Xane. I won't forgive you if they die before I say hi!"

"They won't. Let's go. Gotoh's waiting for us."

---

"So you're going to Macedon, Palla?"

"Yes I am, just as you're going home to Archanea, Tomas."

"I. . .umm. . ."

"Yes?"

"Thank you. Even if you are a little scary, you were nice enough to keep your word and teach me how to ride a dragon."

"Uh, thank you too, for teaching me how to shoot a bow."

Neither was sure of what to say next. The silence was broken by a very familiar voice.

"Hey, are the two of you going to stare deeply into each other's eyes all day?" Sedgar's voice snapped both of them back to reality.

"Why do you have to say it like that, old man?" Tomas said sharply.

"We're about to head off. If you don't move it, you're going to Macedon with her."

"I think one traveling companion is enough for me!" Palla stated.

"The two of you may never see each other again, and that's all you can say?" Sedgar shook his head.

"You're bossy."

"You're weird."

"I swear you kids will regret that later in life. Come on, Tomas, time to go."

As the older man turned to leave, the dracoknight and archer looked at each other one more time, and smiled. This wouldn't be the last time they saw each other!

---

No fanfare greeted the prince as he walked down the familiar path home. He'd been through this very forest not too long ago, when he'd come to retake Altea. Beyond the forest lay a sight Marth did not want to see. Gordin stopped dead in his tracks.

"I. . .I. . ." the bishop stuttered. Draug inched his way around his friend.

"It can't be. . ." he said, disbelief in his voice.

"Move you two, I wanna see!" Merric cried. He could only gasp at what he saw.

The skeletons of the buildings remained, but they were not the skeletons of death. They were the first steps towards a new village. Ashen fields had been transformed into dark brown furrows, with spots of green poking up. Livestock once again roamed the roads.

"Hey, o'er there! It's Prince Marth!" Before the shocked prince could say anything, people swarmed him and his group of knights.

"Your 'ighness, welcome! We don't have much, but we'll share what you've got!"

"But. . .how. . ." Marth stammered.

"We lost a good deal o' our people to Dolhr, but they didn' kill e'eryone. Some of us escaped, an' waited 'till it was safe to rebuild our home!"

"The silo. . ." Gordin mumbled.

"Oh, that old thing? We tore 'er down. We buried all the poor folk in there, o' course!" Tears formed in Gordin's eyes. All those people. . .

"Kid, don' cry like that! We figured those people in there would wanna see a bustlin' village, so we're gonna bring it back stronger than ever!"

"Th-thank you," he blubbered.

"What happened to the innkeeper?" Abel asked the nearest person.

"We 'ad to knock 'im out cold, but we weren't gonna let Dolhr steal the secret o' our veggies! We got a harvest in not too long ago! Dinner's on us!" Various cheers went up as Marth, Abel, Gordin, Draug, and Merric were herded towards the inn.

From the door of the inn, Marth turned towards the baby skeletons that held the promise of a new, better village.

"Everyone. . .I'm home. . ."

First, the awards.

Weirdest level-up: Gordin's Strength gain as a level 9 Bishop.

Weirdest final stat: Tomas' 8 RES as a Dracoknight, no stat boosters.

Most amusing final stat: Draug's 24 Speed as a Sorcerer.

Most efficient user of stat boosts: Tomas, who went from mediocre to killing half of Endgame by himself.

Best Survival Instinct: Merric, for pulling an Excaliblick on an Endgame Manakete that would have otherwise turned him into a pile of ash.

Best use of the Starsphere: Tiki (she would've needed to steal Nagi's Stone if I didn't have the Starsphere)

Biggest turn count shaver: Abel, for saving me at least 50 turns on Chapter 3 (he gained enough Speed to avoid being doubled by the boss).

The MVP of this run: Sedgar, hands down. Look at his final stats, and remember that the only things he got were one Goddess Icon and one Dracoshield. He wasn't kidding when he said he wouldn't let me down!

Final stats (asterisk indicates a stat booster was used. . .might not be accurate for certain characters). The random generic survived because no one wanted to touch him.

Name     Class     Level   HP   Str  Mag  Skl  Spd  Luk  Def  Res
Marth    Lord      29.03   40   17    0   16   22   26   12    1
Abel     Paladin   14.05   45   20    1   27   23   15*  15    6
Draug    Sorcerer   9.03   37*   3   10   13   24   13    4   12
Gordin   Bishop    14.69   39    2   19*  15   11   17    7   17
Julian   Thief     25.69   41*  12    0   19   26*  24   13    1
Merric   Sage      11.63   44    3   14   17   18   20    6   11
Sedgar   Hero      20.00   56   22    1   29   26   16*  25*   2
Tomas    Drakky    17.82   40   23*   1   19   23*  11   12    8
Palla    Sniper    13.83   48   24    1   28   24*  10*  15    4
Tiki     Manakete  23.11   58*  20*   2   20   20*  20   15*  11
Nagi     Manakete  Base everything
Antony   General   12.00   45   11    1   10    4    0   24    3

Final thoughts:

Marth: Despite the fact that he's -2 STR/+2 SKL, it was sufficient.

Abel: Marth's steadfast companion, and early/mid-game slayer. I wish he had the ability to rescue!

Draug: Hard to believe that's above average Magic. . .but his Speed was a pretty big asset.

Gordin: Apparently, that's Gordin going above and beyond the call of duty, in terms of Magic and Resistance. That's what I needed him to do, and he did it beautifully.

Julian: See what I said for Marth. . .bu throw in +3 DEF, which meant I could use him as a front-line fighter.

Merric: WTF +4 Luck. He did what he needed to, though I wish he'd been a little more above average.

Sedgar: For what I did to him, that's average. . .if you ignore the fact that his effective growth rate for Luck is closer to 60%. When I did this run, I asked him to gain enough Luck so I wouldn't have to feed him too many Goddess Icons. He answered, in the most brilliant way possible!

Tomas: Take out the stat boosters, and you've got -2 HP, +2 STR and SKL, -1 DEF, and +3 RES. That +3 RES is a big WTF, because he's got 5% growth as a Cavalier, and 10% as a Dracoknight. He did a pretty good job, even with the wonky-ass Resistance.

Palla: She maxed Strength a little early, and was generally above average until level 13 Sniper. I'm happy.

Tiki: Before I went nuts with the stat boosters, she was at level 21 with 11 STR, which is two off her average. That's not what I needed to see!

Nagi: Uh, good job blocking reinforcements?

Antony: Your big, armored rear was enough to block the Pachyderm.

Callum · October 7, 2010

Excellent story, excellent playlog! I must say, your writing style is very impressive. Do you/did you study English Literature? All the same, it was great. Also, that was one fast Draug, even for a sorcerer >.>

Byte2222 · October 7, 2010

From start to finish an amazing story, better than anything IS could have ever come up with and better than most writers could ever do. Here's hoping funny is just as good.

Thank you! If you know somewhere that wouldn't mind hosting this thing (NOT fanfiction.net!), I could probably turn this into either a long text file or a web page.

It wasn't that there was a place I wanted to point it out to but just somewhere I can recommend people too if I they're interested. I certainly wouldn't put it somewhere without permission, that's breaching copyright law, but if there's somewhere that's looking for, for a lack of a better term fanfiction, and I or any of us want to recommend it I just think it'd be good for it to be in one place if it's not too much hassle. Thanks again for a great story!

CT075 · October 8, 2010

This is better than the regular story. I applaud you heartily.

*can't wait to fall off his chair laughing*

eclipse · October 8, 2010

Excellent story, excellent playlog! I must say, your writing style is very impressive. Do you/did you study English Literature? All the same, it was great. Also, that was one fast Draug, even for a sorcerer >.>

Thank you! The closest thing to English Literature I took were some mid-level English courses in college.

From start to finish an amazing story, better than anything IS could have ever come up with and better than most writers could ever do. Here's hoping funny is just as good.

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I hope my humor is up your alley.

It wasn't that there was a place I wanted to point it out to but just somewhere I can recommend people too if I they're interested. I certainly wouldn't put it somewhere without permission, that's breaching copyright law, but if there's somewhere that's looking for, for a lack of a better term fanfiction, and I or any of us want to recommend it I just think it'd be good for it to be in one place if it's not too much hassle. Thanks again for a great story!

I'll try to think of some way of compiling this and posting it. If I can find some random free web hosting, I might put all my runs up, no matter how weird they are! Thanks for the idea!

This is better than the regular story. I applaud you heartily.

*can't wait to fall off his chair laughing*

Thank you! I'll do my best to amuse you!

Some random rule changes:

1. Jagen is not allowed to pwn the first few chapters too much (and if he dies to a random critical after Chapter 3, I'm not stopping for him).

2. Every chapter will be preceded by a song. Whether that song exists on YouTube is another matter.

3. Sedgar may end up going General. I'm not sure, and neither is he.

4. Death is not the only way to get out of Marth's army.

5. Everyone else. . .well, you'll see. . .I hope I can finish this one!

Chapter 1

"空に夢の花火打ち上げて~"

-- JEWELLRY STORM by L.E.D.-G fw. Eriko Tanzawa

"HEY, main character speaking! I demand you change the chapter theme to something cooler!"

"Stuff it, tiara boy. This song is about as manly as you are!"

"I resent that!"

"Oh, look at the time, I need to start the story. Toodles!"

---

"WHAT?! I'm getting kicked out? Aw, man. . ." the depressed prince whined. He'd been forced to take refuge in some fort in the middle of nowhere, and now he was being evicted, courtesy of the Ditzy Princess.

"You've been here for three years, and you haven't paid a single gold coin in rent. We've got better uses for this space, so shoo!" the Ditzy Princess ordered.

"Does that mean we get to go outside?" the rest of his peeps asked in unison.

"I guess we don't have a choice. . ." Marth grumbled.

"FREEDOM!" they cried out as one.

"Fine, fine, whatever. . .but I'm gonna complain to your father, you brat!" the spoiled prince whined. Ditzy Princess giggled. . .what an airhead.

As Marth and his unfortunate followers left, Caeda giggled to herself again.

"Did he not check the calendar? Today is April the first. Ah, he'll find out soon enough. Maybe he'll do something about those bandits nearby. Hmm, who are you?" Someone had intruded on her evil finishing monologue!

"My name is Cain, and I have forgotten where I left my trusty Javelin!"

"Did you hear anything?"

"Hear what?" This guy was thicker than molasses! The princess giggled to herself again.

"By decree of the royal family, you are now my personal shopper. Let's go, dear!"

"Right, Your Highness! I will be the best personal shopper you've ever had!"

(Sucker.)

---

"Hrmph, those bloody peasants were no match for us!" Marth announced, as he hefted his sword into the air. He'd forgotten to clean it, so his announcement was spoiled by a string of curses, as he hastily got the blood off of his face.

"Hey, has anyone seen Cain? He ran off with my Iron Lance," Abel said.

"I passed him on the way out. He said something about becoming Princess Caeda's personal shopper. I doubt we'll see him again," Gordin stated, snickering.

"Those pirates. . .how did they walk on water?" Draug mused to himself.

"Dunno, but they're about as good-looking as you are," the archer chimed in.

"Why did I not die with King Cornelius on that fateful day? 'Twould have been better than this mess," Jagen mumbled to himself.

"Hey old man, did you say something?"

"Nothing, sire. Nothing at all."

---

"WHAT?!"

"My dear Caeda had a wonderful idea, so I'll follow it! If you want to freeload, go to Aurelis. It's said there's plenty of room there, because most of the fighting men are dead." the king said, while fiddling with the multicolor cube in his hands.

"But I don't wanna die!" the prince sniveled.

"Then stop being such a wimp and make sure you don't!" came the reply.

"Awwww. . ." The king's attention was diverted by the colorful cube. He didn't notice that Marth took several of the candlesticks on his way out.

(Perhaps I should ask Caeda how to solve this puzzling cube. Who was this Rubik, and why did he invent such a cube?)

Total reset party. Here's what happened, and why I reset:

1. My cartridge decided to mimic dondon's 0% growth run, so I reset before I got fed up with the boss.

2. Jagen didn't weaken stuff, he got a lot of random criticals, which meant that Gordin AND Marth didn't level.

3. Abel died.

4. Abel died again.

5. Jagen hit a critical on the boss (again), but at least everyone that needed to managed to level, and they were pretty good levels, too! I kept this one, despite the old man's antics.

Jagen to fort, everyone else to mop-up duty. Cain died valiantly protecting Gordin. I didn't have time to kill Caeda, but I'll pretend I did.

Parrhesia · October 8, 2010

Wow. From flood face to snarky guy in the back. Gordin's evolved, man.

Fei Mao · October 8, 2010

Well done.

Flux_Blade · October 8, 2010

Well anyways I have to say that the serious run was excellently done and I really enjoyed reading it. Though I did have to laugh at Gordin baiting one of the ballista's and giggling. Though I was surprise Palla wasn't showing eyes towards Abel...

And the humorous one seems to be delivering so thanks for doing these.

eclipse · October 8, 2010

Wow. From flood face to snarky guy in the back. Gordin's evolved, man.

I promise it will get worse. . .

Well done.

Thank you!

Well anyways I have to say that the serious run was excellently done and I really enjoyed reading it. Though I did have to laugh at Gordin baiting one of the ballista's and giggling. Though I was surprise Palla wasn't showing eyes towards Abel...

And the humorous one seems to be delivering so thanks for doing these.

I didn't have Palla look at Abel because screw canon I honestly have no idea what Palla OR Est saw in him. If I had a better idea as to why she's interested in a guy that much older than her, I might have written that in. . .

Lastly, thank you!

Now, for a rare morning update!

Chapter 2

*insert awesome instrumentals here*

--氷梅香 by kurena

"Ah, the populace has come out in droves to see us off! Rest well my people, I'll be back!" the prince proclaimed to the crowd.

"Marth, they don't look too happy, and most of them are holding weapons," Abel pointed out nervously.

"A soldier's salute it is! I'm so proud of you, everyone!" Marth said, brandishing his own weapon. The crowd roiled and charged.

"Good job, you idiot," Gordin mumbled, as he hefted his Steel--

*THUD*

"Oh, right, I need to do more push-ups," the hopeless archer whined, as he picked his sorry self off the ground.

---

"NO! Get away from me! You're going to ruin my hair!" Abel cried, as the over-eager populace saw the prince off.

"Yo, where's the best place to--" a random bow peasant yelled.

"Khadein!" the beleaguered cavalier yelled back.

"Thanks, man!" the peasant groveled, as he ran off in the direction of the desert academy.

"How did he know I was asking for the best place to surf? Time to ditch this bow and shirt! Scantily-clad ladies, here I come!"

---

"Yo Draug, if you're gonna hurl your guts, do so over the railing!" Jagen growled.

"I hate boats! One day, I'm gonna become a pirate, so I can walk across the sea!" the unfortunate knight moaned.

"Good luck with that," the old man mumbled, as he distanced himself from Draug. The knight's only response was a disgusting sound, aimed somewhere that was NOT over the railing.

(Ewwww. . .I'm so glad my stomach is stronger than that!)

Killed off the initial rush (you know you're pathetic when JAGEN is doubling you), then slowly baited the rest with Marth. His Highness is turning out absolutely insane, which I'll need, because he's gonna need to near-solo Chapter 3. Castor killed Caeda. . .and Gaggles still refuses to gain Strength.

I had my own ideas for Abel, but his levels don't match what I want. His role in the story will be different than what I intended. Sorry, Tomas!

Edited October 12, 2010 by eclipse

Darros · October 8, 2010

Not srs story is so not srs.

But me likez.

Integrity · October 8, 2010

Not srs story is not srs.

I return to frequenting this thread.

<3

CT075 · October 8, 2010

*falls off chair laughing*

Aw, poor Marth.

Have someone get raped to death

eclipse · October 9, 2010

Not srs story is so not srs.

But me likez.

Thank you!! Be happy! AND FINISH THAT DRAFT TOURNAMENT, DAMMIT!

Not srs story is not srs.

I return to frequenting this thread.

<3

Whee! I hope I can keep this madness up!

*falls off chair laughing*

Aw, poor Marth.

Have someone get raped to death

Marth's job is to make Matthis look like hero material. I think he's doing a fine job.

who says I feel like killing anyone?

Sorry this took so long! Due to some of the more. . .colorful things I did, Chapter 4 was really hard to beat. Someone kept dying. Oddly enough, it wasn't Marth. Here's why:

Name     Class     Level   HP   Str  Mag  Skl  Spd  Luk  Def  Res
Marth    Lord       7.19   22    8    0    5   13   12    9    0

Story time!

Chapter 3

"He will never come back again."

-- BALALAIKA, CARRIED WITH THE WIND by Julie ann Frost

"I'll take mountains over the sea. I can't get mountain sick."

"That gives me an idea!"

"DON'T DO IT!!!"

---

"You told me to betray all my friends and run off with you because you had some sort of surprise for me," a familiar former bandit demanded.

"Of course, dearie. When I use my magical powers, YOU WILL BE PART OF MY BRAINWASHED BOY HAREM!!" The look in the cleric's eyes went from innocent to manic. Julian obeyed his instincts, and ran.

"Come back, my sweet little--OOF!" Lena had tried to draw on her magic while running. She didn't notice the mountain wall to her left, and had run into it right when she was ready to cast. The resulting jolt caused her intentions to bounce, and--

---

"We found 'er. Whaddya want us to do, Boss?" The bandits leered at the woman leaning against the mountain, who regarded her staff with curiosity.

"Bring her back. And if she refuses--" the long-haired man started to say, but was cut off by the woman.

"Excuse me, sir, but where am I?" the cleric asked, polite as usual.

"You're in the Samsooth Mountains," the most well-mannered of the bandits replied.

"The Samsooth Mountains? I do not recall such a place."

"Enough! Will you come back quietly, or will we need to bring you back by force?"

"'Ey, can we 'ave some fun with 'er first?" an uncouth bandit called out.

"Kind sir, may I borrow your sword? Upon my honor as a knight, I will not touch a hair on your head." The lowlier bandits burst out laughing. What could this frail woman do to them?

"If you think it will help," the one with the sword said, as he surrendered his Killing Edge.

"Boss, whaddya think yo're doin'? Huh? AAARGH!"

True to the woman's word, the one who lent him the sword escaped unharmed. Everyone else wasn't so lucky.

---

Meanwhile. . .

"Who are you?" the imposing figure in black asked the woman on the ground.

"Ummm. . .what?" came the reply.

"Why am I stuck in this stuffy suit, holding this hunk of metal I don't know how to use?"

"You're the Black Knight, famed general of Daien, and last I recall, you were trying to kill me."

"What kind of tacky name is Black Knight! My name is Lena, and I was trying to capture another member for my boy harem!"

"Can I go?" the one on the ground asked.

"You're a woman, so I'm not interested in you. Do whatever you want," the would-be executioner said merrily.

"Turn and face me, Black Knight!" a male voice demanded. The one in black somehow turned. How did the original owner move in such a restricting suit of armor?

"Oooh. . .your voice held promise, but you're totally not the type to enter my boy harem," the armored figure said, in a disturbingly light voice.

"Excuse me?" the man said, the fury on his face replaced by confusion. The pink-haired woman that was supposed to be executed hastily picked herself up off the ground and ran out of the room.

"I said I don't want you in my boy harem! Shoo!" The man's jaw hit the floor.

"You are the Black Knight, the one that killed my father, and now you're saying that I'm not fit for your boy harem? Did you hit your head somewhere?"

"Black Knight this, Black Knight that. My name is Lena!" the 'Black Knight' insisted. The figure's armored gauntlets went towards the massive helmet on his head.

"Brother! Are you taking that off?" yet another newcomer demanded.

"What does it look like, you little brat? I can't breathe in this thing!" the one in armor shrieked.

"Um, sorry, but we gotta go! Ike, we're leaving! That thing in the armor's gonna ruin Radiant Dawn!" the new girl said, as she grabbed her brother and hightailed it out of the room.

"Oh, for crying out loud. . .where did you guys come from?" A group of soldiers had appeared around what they thought was their commander.

"We're here to protect you, sir!" a brave soldier responded.

"NONE OF YOU are fit for my boy harem! Get out of here!" As one, the soldiers fled.

"Ugh, this armor. . .what was this guy thinking? First things first, ditch the armor. Next, a nice long bath is in order. . .I'll get my boy harem, just you wait and see!" The "Black Knight" left, humming merrily to himself.

---

"Your swordsmanship is not like anything I've seen," the lone surviving bandit said, as the mysterious woman handed his bloodied blade back to him.

"You have honor. May I ask what your name is?"

"Navarre."

"That sword you wield is not something a rank soldier would carry. You strike me as someone that has skill with a blade. I would like to challenge you one day," "Lena" said, as she examined the blisters on her hands.

"I apologize, but I am unable to fight a woman," Navarre stated firmly.

"Then do not think of me as a woman," came the unexpectedly calm reply.

"But--"

"Judge me by my skill, Navarre. Give me a chance to whip this body into shape. One day, I will challenge you. I hope you accept," she said mysteriously, as she walked down the mountain. Navarre could only watch her, and mentally scratch his head.

"What happened to her? She was supposed to be a cleric, not a terror with the sword! That look in her eyes tells me she'll find me some way or another. I suppose I can't get out of this one. I'd better get out of these mountains and train for real," he mumbled, as he took another path out of the mountains.

---

"Why do I get the feeling that the author felt like ignoring us?" Marth asked the air.

"Because I just did."

"You totally skipped out on this Julian fellow, and--"

"Who cares? This chapter write-up is turning into an essay. Whether you like it or not, I'm ending it!"

My Lemmings ran left, and plowed the enemies that stood between them and the chokepoint near the boss. Once I cleared out everyone in that area, I parked Draug on the fort, and had Gordin snipe over his shoulder. Lots of stuff died. I then used a rather stupid and reckless strategy involving Jagen, Abel + Steel Sword, Marth + Steel Sword, and Gordin. Here's the order of events:

1. Jagen hits with the Silver Lance, and does not die in the process.

2. Abel hits, and dodges one 50% attack.

3. Marth hits.

4. Gordin hits before he's turned into worm food.

This only took a couple of resets.

CT075 · October 9, 2010

lawl, transplant. Was Lena switching with Zelgius or Mia?

eclipse · October 10, 2010

lawl, transplant. Was Lena switching with Zelgius or Mia?

Lena switched with the one that had the Warp Powder mishap. That was such a silly explanation. . .

I'm trying to think of Chapter 4. . .and nothing good's coming. All I know is that Matthis will be the star of the chapter.

Parrhesia · October 10, 2010

I'm trying to think of Chapter 4. . .and nothing good's coming. All I know is that Matthis will be the star of the chapter.

MATTHIS, HARD ROCK ICON

Flux_Blade · October 10, 2010

I see, that was fine, just making sure about that. It worked well anyways.

Found chapter 2 to be quite hilarious, poor Marth not knowing what is going on.

And chapter 3 became funnier when I realized exactly what happened with the two.

Darros · October 10, 2010

Next playthrough Myrm!Lena do it!!!

eclipse · October 12, 2010

MATTHIS, HARD ROCK ICON

. . .and with that, you gave me the chapter idea. Thank you!

I see, that was fine, just making sure about that. It worked well anyways.

Found chapter 2 to be quite hilarious, poor Marth not knowing what is going on.

And chapter 3 became funnier when I realized exactly what happened with the two.

Heh, thanks! I'll have a bunch of explaining to do for my RL proofreader once she gets around to reading it.

Next playthrough Myrm!Lena do it!!!

Oh gosh. . .maybe for a future playthrough, all my magical units go physical, and only three physical units are allowed to survive, so they can be magical?

You can thank Integrity for many of these units.

Chapter 4

"Believe in your dreams, the world is waiting for you, it's all up to you"

-- MARIA (I believe) by Naoki feat. Paula Terry

"These enemies have no sense of style! I must show them what it means to look good!" Abel exclaimed, as he gave his horse one last pat on the rear. He brandished his sword, the only remnant of his days as an unrefined knight. From now on, he'd be a stylish Myrmidon!

"You say I'm not doing enough damage, Marth? You'll--hey, why did you cut out the rest of my scene?!" Gordin whined.

"Because you're too much of a pain to write about. Maybe later."

"HOW DARE YOU!"

"If it pleases you, sire, I'd like to take this time to practice my water walking skills," Draug stated politely. Marth and Jagen rolled their eyes in unison.

"Fine, fine, do whatever you guys want. I see a nice castle up ahead, and I could really use a bath. Say, Jagen, can you gather some rose petals for my upcoming bath during the battle?" The prince wandered off, humming some tune or another.

"How could you raise such a worthless son, King Cornelius?" Jagen mumbled, before looking for the nearest rose bush.

Meanwhile. . .

"Hmm? You say your master let you go? You want ME to ride you? This must be fate! I can finally be a Valkyrie! Hi-ho, Silver!" The horse neighed at her master's enthusiasm. This rider was in the wrong body, time, and universe to be a Valkyrie! But. . .best not to dampen his spirits. Yet.

---

He saw the prince and his rebels come down the lea, swords out. No one could stop them, save one. With streamers flying in the wind, he charged down the hill, single-handedly, to take out those silly, untrained children. One by one, they fell to his mighty lance. At last, the only one left standing was the rebel leader. The boy had skill, for his blade was not as clean as it should have been. Blood speckled the prince's clothes. It was time for the amazing Paladin Matthis to avenge his fallen soldiers! He--

"Hey, stupid, watch where you point that lance. I'm about to steal your underwear." A cool breeze brought Matthis back to reality. A lowly thief held his saddlebags, his armor, and his favorite shirt and pants, leaving him with only his Super Manakete undies! Matthis yelped like a girl before running off into the forest. No one really cared what happened to him after that, so this chapter's story ends here.

In case it wasn't obvious, reclassed Abel to Myrmidon, Gordin to Mage, and Draug to Pirate.

Used Abel and a couple of generics to keep my backside clear, then charged forward with everyone else. Everyone that was an enemy went down, and Marth got his good buddy out of the village. Once the threat from the rear was eliminated (thanks to Abel), used Jagen to bait the archers, then used Gordin to kill the knight (he couldn't double. . .) The two Horsemen went down shortly after, then Gordin got some much-needed practice with Fire, before Marth went and stole the kill.

I like Gordin as a Mage so far.

Chapter 5

"We just like to party!"

-- cross the mind by celas

"Oh, we have another castle to liberate?" the addlebrained prince asked.

"YES!" Jagen yelled, for the fifth time.

"Do they have good food?"

"The Princess Nyna is--" Jagen started, but was cut off by Mr. Naive Prince.

"A princess! Finally, we'll get a woman in our ranks! She can cook, and clean, and--"

"Forget it!" the old paladin roared, as he rode off before his temper got the better of him. Who put that fool in charge, anyway?!

Elsewhere. . .

"I guess I'll take this lance. Maybe I should take this sword, too. But I remember seeing armors outside, so perhaps I should take an axe instead."

"Sedgar, hurry up!" the purple-haired brat whined.

"Please don't rush me! I need time to formulate a plan so that I'll be effective out there."

"You've been doing this for half an hour! At this rate, we'll never meet Marth!" Why couldn't that purple-haired kid grow up?!

"But I'd need to bring a Hammer, and my horse doesn't like it when I carry a lot of heavy things. Ah, what shall I do?"

Wolf shook his head at his friend's indecision, before joining the rest of Hardin's group to meet the prince. Sedgar would catch up eventually. . .or so the purple-haired brat hoped.

Much later. . .

"Sir! I think that's Marth and his army, but. . ."

"But what, Roshea?"

"The one I think is Marth is leaning against a tree with his finger up his nose. Reports mentioned that he had a cavalier, a paladin, an archer, and a knight in his service. I only see the paladin and cavalier. The others are a myrmidon who has the enemy lined up for haircuts, a pirate who keeps asking where the sea is, and some kid who nearly set the village on fire. There's also another man who seems to be affiliated with them, but he seems to be preoccupied with stealing the clothes off of the enemy."

"I guess this was the wrong group. Perhaps they went north?"

"I'll check, sir!"

"Very good, Vyland. Come back safely!"

Much, much later. . .

"Oh sweet, we found the castle! Where's that woman? I demand a good dinner!"

"Marth, this doesn't seem to be a castle," Draug commented, as he looked in each room, presumably to find the sea.

"Huh? Who are you guys?" A man walked out of one of the unchecked rooms. He wore a horned helmet, full chest armor, light pants, and held a staff in hand.

"I'm Marth, and this is my army," the preoccupied prince said, as he did a third circuit around the kitchen. Where was that mysterious woman?

"Weren't you supposed to meet with my commander?" the oddly-dressed occupant asked.

"We didn't meet anyone out there," came the mumbled reply. Maybe she was in a cupboard?

"If they're not here, then I'll represent them. My name's Sedgar, and I'm almost ready to leave."

"What are you talking about, dude? We already sent those enemies packing."

"Ummm. . .okay. I'm still joining. It's better than hanging around here."

"Hey, Sedgar, did you see a woman around here?"

"Oh, you mean Princess Nyna? She--"

"She needs to make me dinner!" Marth demanded.

"I think she went ahead to Aurelis Castle and--"

"Okay, everyone, let's go!" A collective groan answered Marth's order.

"If you're gonna leave, I'll pack a few things. Can't be too prepared."

The next day. . .

"Well, we couldn't find Marth, but it looks like he managed to rout the enemy," Hardin told his troops.

"I can't wait to get back! I could use a proper meal, and--" Wolf's sentence was cut short by the sight that greeted him.

Their base of operations was completely bare. Chairs, tables, kitchen cabinets. . .all gone. A scrap of paper had somehow escaped the inexplicable theft. Wolf picked it up and read it.

"Not sure when you guys are coming back, and Marth needs all the help he can get. I'll return everything once we're done. --Sedgar"

"SEDGAR YOU IDIOT! I'LL ENJOY FLAYING THE FLESH OFF YOUR BACK WHEN I SEE YOU NEXT!!!!!"

"Is Wolf fantasizing again?" Roshea whispered to Vyland.

"Probably. But that does give me an idea. . ." Vyland whispered back.

"Commander, since we have a lot of spare room, why don't we. . ." Hardin nodded as Vyland explained his idea.

"That is brilliant, Vyland! Get word out to all the neighboring kingdoms! I'm sure there's plenty of people that'll jump at this opportunity!"

Reclassed Merric to Cavalier.

The starting enemies died to God!Marth, while all of Hardin's non-Lemmings committed suicide. Sedgar managed to run through the chaos towards Marth's army. I recruited Wendell because Gordin really needs that Thunder tome. Once everyone that mattered had regrouped, I marched straightaway towards the boss, who was pelted with all sorts of fun things before Marth ran in and killed him.

Merric gained Strength and Gordin gained Magic. I am extremely happy.

EDIT: DUE TO AN ECLIPSE-SIZED SCREW-UP (called forgetting Bantu), I NEED TO REDO THIS. Before I do, I'm posting Merric's epic stats here. Marth and Gordin did a good job, so their stats go here, too.

I might do a little save-scumming, just to get Merric and Gordin's Strength and Magic back to where they belong.

Name     Class     Level   HP   Str  Mag  Skl  Spd  Luk  Def  Res
Marth    Lord      13.83   28   11    0    8   14   17    9    0
Merric   Cavalier  15.68   34    8*   0   12   16    8   13    0
Gordin   Mage      17.40   25    1    8    7    8   11    4    5

Edited October 12, 2010 by eclipse

eclipse · October 12, 2010

I was having so much fun that I forgot the post where I condense everything! Here it is!

[spoiler=Story]Chapter 1