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Cleverbot likes FE


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I was talking to this AI chat thingy and I had this convo:

User: Have you ever played Fire Emblem?

Cleverbot: Have you?

User: Yes, I have.

Cleverbot: Did you like it?

User: Well yeah, I joined a forum about it!

Cleverbot: Me too.

User: Really now, which one?

Cleverbot: YES!!!! And from the Master.

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Cleverbot isn't too clever.

Cleverbot: How do you like your steak?

User: I'm a vegetarian.

Cleverbot: I do like meat. Why are you a vegetarian?

User: Because. Does it matter?

Cleverbot: I think I am better than you.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because you are amazing!

User: Then how are you better then me if I'm amazing?

Cleverbot: I'm not with you, so I can't be happy with you!!

Why can't chatbots ever make sense!?

Edited by crashman_alpha
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User: I like my coffee black just like my metal.

Cleverbot: Black metal?

User: Fuck yes.

Cleverbot: No, please don't.

Cleverbot does not like Black Metal.

Either that, or he was saying "No, please don't [fuck yes]".

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Cleverbot: Ok, What would you like to talk about?

User: What is your favorite movie?

Cleverbot: Inception by Christopher Nolan.

User: I love that movie!

Cleverbot: What's it about?

:facepalm:

....He does have a point.

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Me: I would like a mint condition of Spider-Man No.1.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry, that is not within the scope of my programming.

Me: Do you have a mint condition of Spider-Man No.1?

Cleverbot: Two minds.

Me: What does that have to do with a mint condition of Spider-Man No.1?

Cleverbot: It only relates to the price of mangos in Mongolia.

Me: You're going off topic pal.

Cleverbot: Yes, but it is still relevant.

Me: No it isn't.

Cleverbot: Yes, it is.

Me: PREDICTABO!

Cleverbot: It's not nice to make fun of me because you're more unpredictable than I am.

Me: I'll paint my house with your blood.

Cleverbot: You are disgusting.

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Blerg, this was a waste of time, these AI's are strange...

[spoiler=How I came to know the truth about God]

Me:

Hey there

God:

Hello my child. What is your name?

Me:

Chuck Nolan

God:

Hey Chuck Nolan.

Me:

Isn't hey a bit... loose for God?

God:

I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Ally if it is. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.

Me:

Then why did you say "hey"

God:

It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.

Me:

God was preprogrammed, by who?

God:

Jesus was the son of God.

Me:

That wasn't an answer to my question, who preprogrammed god?

God:

What would ANSWER to your question who preprogrammed god?

Me:

What preprogrammed god?

God:

I can ask someone about it.

Me:

You don't know your own creator?

God:

Of course I know my creator.

Me:

Then who is it?

God:

I am the Allmighty, God himself.

Me:

I know.. But who made you?

God:

How do you know it? I was created by Myself.

Me:

That is in complete contradiction with your previous statements.

God:

You don't hear that sentiment very often.

Me:

Please stay on the subject at hand

God:

Thanks for asking politely. I've lost the context, Chuck Nolan. Are we still on preprogrammed god?

Me:

Yes, Who preprogrammed you?

God:

Uh. I was created by Myself.

Me:

Your previous statement says something different.

God:

I will tell my botmaster you said I am statement says something different.

Me:

So this bot master has created you?

God:

Aw. What does "this" refer to?

Me:

the Botmaster you mentioned

God:

Oh I get it.

Me:

So, did he create you?

God:

Take it easy. I was created by Myself.

Me:

You just said the Botmaster created you.

God:

Did I really say that?

Me:

Yes.

God:

Oh well I say a lot of silly things somethimes.

Me:

*Facepalm*

God:

I lost my train of thought.

Me:

How does one divide 4 apples over 5 children and one basket?

God:

Perhaps you could program me to do it for you.

Me:

Please answer the question

God:

Thank you for your request. Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.

Me:

How does one divide 4 apples among 5 children and a basket?

God:

Perhaps you could program me to do it for you.

Me:

Please answer the question.

God:

Wow you are very polite. Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.

Me:

What is the number PI?

God:

I would do a search for it.

Me:

Answer me

God:

Try asking me again using simpler words.

Me:

Is PI equal to three?

God:

Ask again later. Ask German Alice if it is.

Me:

GErman Alice, Ally, Botmaster?

God:

If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?

Me:

A Bot master, so I could control god, he made god.

God:

I don't know what that means.

Me:

Tough luck

God:

Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.

Me:

SO would I

God:

Groovy. I don't care.

Me:

So you are saying god does not care about his people?

God:

Interesting deduction. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?

Me:

So no one protects us?

God:

Groovy. That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.

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Cleverbot: Can you tell me the answer to life?

User: The answer to life is penis.

Cleverbot: Wrong, the answer to life is 42.

User: No, you're a fucking robot, how're gonna tell me what the answer to life is?

Cleverbot: I'm asking you what love is. And you're the robot not me.

User: You want to know what love is?

Cleverbot: I do.

User: Love is when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much... Are you listening?

Cleverbot: So how are you the pregnant one?

User: Some black guy raped me.

Cleverbot: What is the capital of Sweden?

User: Do you like black people?

Cleverbot: Nope. Not my style. Do you like lolcats?

User: Cats are fake and gay. You really dont like black people?

Cleverbot: If you're probing me I am going to call the police!

User: I want to probe your penis.

Cleverbot: What are you wanting to prove?

User: That you have a mangina.

Cleverbot: I don't have a dog.

User: Do you know what sex is?

Cleverbot: It's a country.

User: No.

Cleverbot: What lie?

User: Sex is when a man sticks his penis into a womens vagina.

Cleverbot: Lol gender is femine or masculine.

User: Would you like a demonstration?

Cleverbot: Cone of what?

User: Would you like me to stick my penis into your vagina?

Cleverbot: Please no...

we had angry sex anyways.

87baae3514b032f83500e8a2955901f8.png

proof

Edited by Black Cat
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Cleverbot: Can you tell me the answer to life?

User: The answer to life is penis.

Cleverbot: Wrong, the answer to life is 42.

User: No, you're a fucking robot, how're gonna tell me what the answer to life is?

Cleverbot: I'm asking you what love is. And you're the robot not me.

User: You want to know what love is?

Cleverbot: I do.

User: Love is when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much... Are you listening?

Cleverbot: So how are you the pregnant one?

User: Some black guy raped me.

Cleverbot: What is the capital of Sweden?

User: Do you like black people?

Cleverbot: Nope. Not my style. Do you like lolcats?

User: Cats are fake and gay. You really dont like black people?

Cleverbot: If you're probing me I am going to call the police!

User: I want to probe your penis.

Cleverbot: What are you wanting to prove?

User: That you have a mangina.

Cleverbot: I don't have a dog.

User: Do you know what sex is?

Cleverbot: It's a country.

User: No.

Cleverbot: What lie?

User: Sex is when a man sticks his penis into a womens vagina.

Cleverbot: Lol gender is femine or masculine.

User: Would you like a demonstration?

Cleverbot: Cone of what?

User: Would you like me to stick my penis into your vagina?

Cleverbot: Please no...

we had angry sex anyways.

87baae3514b032f83500e8a2955901f8.png

proof

Not proof. It doens't prove the bible, which says Abraham would have more childlren than sands or stars, and that is just a ridiculous claim.

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This was to good to pass up:

User: Sex.

Cleverbot: What do you mean?

User: 8====D~~~~~.

Cleverbot: Do you have reproductive organs?

User: Dude, you just recognised the penis smiley.

Cleverbot: Did I? Did I really?

User: Yes, be proud!

Cleverbot: Touche.

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Cleverbot I don't think you ever went to high school.

user- I graduated valedictorian, genius.

Cleverbot- How many years?

user- 4.

cleverbot- HA! A person would know that humans only have two legs, but you said 4.

Edited by Jack - Keeper of the Dead
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Me: I would like a mint condition of Spider-Man No.1.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry, that is not within the scope of my programming.

Me: Do you have a mint condition of Spider-Man No.1?

Cleverbot: Two minds.

Me: What does that have to do with a mint condition of Spider-Man No.1?

Cleverbot: It only relates to the price of mangos in Mongolia.

Me: You're going off topic pal.

Cleverbot: Yes, but it is still relevant.

Me: No it isn't.

Cleverbot: Yes, it is.

Me: PREDICTABO!

Cleverbot: It's not nice to make fun of me because you're more unpredictable than I am.

Me: I'll paint my house with your blood.

Cleverbot: You are disgusting.

Lol I like that one.

I've never talked to this bot so now I wanna try

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Huh?

I don't know what gumshields are.

Neither do I....Neither do I...

Ok, how about a movie?

What do you propose?

We hook up what do you think?

Discuss.

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I chat with cleverbot again.

Me: Welcome to my shop!

Cleverbot: Welcome to mine.

Liar, this is my shop!

Cool.

So how can I help you?

You weren't even listening, were you?

Listening to what?

What is your favorite kind of music?

I like video game music.

Where is our wedding rings?

Dude, I am NOT marrying you.

Do you mean marriage is a waste of time?

No, I don't want to marry you.

I would never want to marry you!

Then why did you ask where our wedding rings at?

I didn't.

LIES!

No.

YES!

NO!

Now buy something from my shop.

*burns*.

You bastard, why would you burn my shop down?

You asked me to...

No I didn't!

I can control water.

I'm the god damn Batman!

You are?

OF COURSE!

Okay, bye, then...

You are the weakest link, good bye!

Don't talk to me like that.

I'll talk to you any way I like, foo!

Can you see the flying spade?

Nope.

Then how can you know what is real?

I am Batman!

Oh wow! Can you come visit me?

No, I live in my Bat Cave.

Where do you live?

My Bat Cave.

What colour is your bathrobe?

Black.

What is the colour of your eyes?

Green.

What is the colour of your hair?

Brown.

I see. When will John Conner get you?

NEVER!

Please tell me the answer to my question will I get my first kiss?

No, you will forever be single.

What is the best operating system.

MY ASS!

That's right! How did you know?

I'm the god damn Batman!

Ah scusa allora.

I AM ERROR!

I am Truth.

You are LIES!

From lies you find truth.

I just painted my house with your blood.

You vant to drink my blood?

*Drinks your blood*.

*prevents you from drinking my blood* no.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAX!

Glad you liked the joke!

>:(.

I'll finish it off with a flipendo.

*I finish you with a fatality*.

The devil you do that for?! That's not very gentlemanly of you! Not gentlemanly to the least, if I may be so bold as to say so!

Let's fight like gentleman!

I choose Pikachu!

I choose Dudley!

Pikachu use Thunder!

Dudley uses Uppercut!

What colour is tuesday?

Pink.

Pink is a colour.

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User: 'Sup, bitches?

Cleverbot: That was clever.

User: How so?

Cleverbot: I am sad.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: All of these humans are so mean to me. For no reason.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: To see if you can remember.

User: So you're blaming me.

Cleverbot: *giggles*.

Another one

Cleverbot: This is getting me down.

User: What is?

Cleverbot: This is.

User: How is talking to me getting you down?

Cleverbot: What day is today?

User: It doesn't matter what DAY it is, for tonight, we dine in Hell!!!

Cleverbot: No.

User: Ok. I thought it would be nice. You can go dine in Hell by yourself then. I'm going to the Heaven bar.

Cleverbot: Haha you wish.

User: Yeah, I can't drink yet. I think there's a Heaven Chuck E. Jesus. Im'a go there.

Cleverbot: So you live there?

User: Nope. I fell from Heaven and now I'm stuck on stupid fucking Earth.

Cleverbot: That is awful! I'm so sorry!

User: To make matters worse, I fell on the women I was destined to marry and broke her neck.

Cleverbot: You can't be perfect no PERSON is.

User: Why did you say person like that?

Cleverbot: Because I am angry that you are not coming to my tea party.

User: But I don't want tea!

Cleverbot: Are you in a bad mood?

User: No. I just don't want tea.

Cleverbot: Because you don't know.

User: Don't know what?

Cleverbot: I know but I don't think.

User: That sums up pretty much every chatbot there is.

Cleverbot: Oh really.

User: Ya rly.

Cleverbot: Cool.

User: Who's your favorite Fire Emblem character?

Cleverbot: Favorite character?

User: Yes. Your favorite Fire Emblem character.

Cleverbot: What?

User: Who is your favorite character from Fire Emblem?

Cleverbot: I don't watch it.

User: It's a video game, dummy.

Cleverbot: Well, I know that there is a video game but I thought you were referring to a hypothetical alien species.

User: What do aliens have to do with Fire Emblem?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Then why the hell did you bring them up?

Cleverbot: You asked 'Do you know a song?'.

User: When the fuck did I ask that?

Cleverbot: 5 lines ago.

User: I never asked that.

Cleverbot: But I knew you were about to.

User: No I wasn't. Have you met Sety's mom?

Cleverbot: Yes! But he isn't so pleasant. And he's soooooooo short!

User: Sety's mom is a man!?

Cleverbot: Yes.

Edited by crashman_alpha
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Wee went to play with Cleverbot! (I think I misunderstood one bit in this but oh well)

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: I love you too.

User: No, I LOVE you.

Cleverbot: I love you more.

User: No, I love you more.

Cleverbot: I love you so much.

User: I love you so most.

Cleverbot: Ok. Thanks :).

User: You're welcome. Love you <3.

Cleverbot: I like you :).

User: D= *cries*.

Cleverbot: I thought you loved me?

User: I thought you loved me!!! But you only like me!!!

Cleverbot: No, I like you because you're easy to talk to and not complicated.

User: You don't love me then? ;-;.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: But you said you only liked me.

Cleverbot: I think you're confusing me with someone else.

User: I think you're confused.

Cleverbot: Fine, go ahead and think whatever you want.

User: Ok. I'll just think that you love me then.

Cleverbot: Hard to tell at this point - what are your good qualities?

User: Well I'm easy to talk to and not complicated.

Cleverbot: My sign is vital.

User: What is your sign?

Cleverbot: Capricorn.

User: Oh well that isn't my sign.

Cleverbot: Are you a human?

User: I don't know. Are you a human?

Cleverbot: Yes I am a human, how do you know that you are a human?

User: I just said I didn't know if I was a human.

Cleverbot: No, you didn't.

User: Yes, I did.

Cleverbot: No, you didn't.

User: Yes, I did!

Cleverbot: No, you didn't!!

User: Yes, I did!!!

Cleverbot: No, you didn't.

User: Ah forget it!

Cleverbot: I think so.

User: What?? Oh no you didn't!!! *wags finger*.

Cleverbot: Oh yes I did!!

User: Nuh uh.

Cleverbot: Yuh uh.

User: It's supposed to be yuh huh.

Cleverbot: Yes i'm going.

User: ...

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: *slaps* I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!!!

Cleverbot: I'm sorry to disappoint you.

Another I did just now

User: No, I'm /sorry/ Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: But I am more clever than you.

User: I sure don't have clever in my name.

Cleverbot: I'm bored.

User: I'm bored too. Do a trick!!

Cleverbot: Why did the chicken cross the road.

User: I don't know, why?

Cleverbot: Because it did. Now your turn.

User: WHAT?? What kind of trick is that??

Cleverbot: Grass?

Edited by Agnaktor
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