Teenage life

[Lux Aeterna]

The years so far:

13: At the very earliest days of this year, I sounded like a girl and looked like a fourth grader. Then my voice got deeper and I grew 7 inches. It was also the year I finally started fitting in with everyone else, so to speak.

14: Oh my God. The worst teenage year so far. Internet unrequited crush that tore me apart and then school came upon me like a ton of bricks as a sort of aftermath. It was the worst year of my life. I did learn a lot, though.

15: Best (complete) teenage year thus far. I learned more about myself and other things. I fell in love and this time it was requited (see my sig). At the end I became slightly less of a doormat. Comparing age 15 to 14 is like comparing Heaven to Hell.

16: It's good so far. I continued my growth and became more self-sufficient. I'm not going to claim to be a sage, but I've grown a lot since last year. And immeasurably more since the year before. The school year promises to be difficult, but I've sorted myself out more, so I can handle it, this time.

In short, over the teenage years I've continued along my path of growing up--as I should. Still not grown up completely, but, hey, that's what the rest of my teenage years + life is for, right?

[Eldritch Abomination]

I was loud and obnoxious in high-school, but consistently, if not overly, happy. When I watch videos of myself from back then, I want to punch past me for being so annoyingly chipper.

I didn't really have much trouble being a teenager. I fell into this weird group of friends made up from every social click in the book. I had friends who were blatantly over dramatic for attention, friends who never bothered anyone with their drama, friends who thought high-school was the most amazing thing since sliced bread, and friends who constantly muttered about blowing the whole place up under their breath. Plus, a lot of people didn't like me, mostly for being obnoxious and loud, but if you don't let it get to you, it won't, and eventually they'll lose steam. I had several "enemies" end up being very close friends for a while, including a guy who once tried to stab me.

But now, I'm 19, and in 8 days I will be twenty. And I'll still want to punch 15 year old me in the face.

But being a teenager varies from person to person. Like soylent green.

[Fenrir]

And I'll still want to punch 15 year old me in the face.

I think everybody's 5yearsagoself needs a good kick in the ass.

[Agro]

Well, as far as school goes I'm pretty happy where I am. I'm relatively popular and have a lot of good friends. I haven't suffered through any drama. Probably the only thing that sucked was not having anyone to reach out to in my earlier years but I think that's changed now.

[I.M. Gei]

It's so easy to look back at how I was a few years ago and think "Man, I was fucking retarded..."

[Ansem]

It's so easy to look back at how I was a few years ago and think "Man, I was fucking retarded..."

i UsEd 2 TyP lKe DiS, rLy It WaS sO bAd.

[Lilmik11]

I'm pretty much just your not so average teenager. Everyone seems to go out, party and what not, but me, i'd rather stay home. I'm okay with it, I don't really like most people and can only talk to them for a little while, after that i just want to leave and do something else. In the sense that o tend to procrastinate and end up stressed yes teenage life is hard. Otherwise its not. I figured i don't like to hang around people and talk to them all day, so staying at home is nice. While there was a time i felt i was alone, I got over it. No i don't like teenage life (high school). So many people expecting you to behave a certain way and anything out of the ordinary makes you immidiately gay/a freak.

Not only do I agree with you, but I'm kinda like you. I can't stay with people for long, because then they just annoy me. I don't go out much either and sometimes I do feel lonely, but I'd rather be alone than with people I don't like that much.

[Original Alear]

I think everybody's 5yearsagoself needs a good kick in the ass.

Nah. 5 years ago me was legitimately pro, whereas I am legitimately b00n.

[Espinosa]

Bored, snobbish, introverted, obedient...

[Original Alear]

Bored, snobbish, introverted, obedient...

[Kay]

I was only particularly unhappy with my life for a year or so, and while it was when I was a young teenager, I think that it had less to do with my age and more to do with a death in the family.

I learned to embrace being different, as well as being an outcast, long before I was a teenager. I guess that was an advantage to having Asperger's Syndrome; being a weirdo was too normal for me to get upset about much. I had a fairly steady average of one friend for most of my life until a few years ago, but there didn't seem to be a point to having more anyway. So, not much of a problem for me, relatively speaking.

Pretty much, I've been satisfied with my life since I was 14, and this year, I've actually been really happy.

Edited September 8, 2011 by Pariah

[Aere]

I hate the anti-conformist. The one who acts completely different 'Because she's a different unique person and she has problems!' doesn't fly with me. Everybody has problems. Doesn't mean you have to stand out so far, others' eyes are drawn to you. Nothing more then attention seekers who need to feel wanted.

I just be myself, like everybody else should. I'm smart enough, athletic enough, and attractive enough to avoid getting picked on, and I make friends with those who are good to be friends with and who I like being with. Of course, peer pressure does a lot, and nobody is immune. But conforming to a group isn't always a bad thing, if one can retain his own individuality.

[Thor Odinson]

The way I see it is, that, do whatever the fuck you like disregarding the popularity of the subject. If person A dislikes thing A because it's popular, but would've liked it otherwise, I see that as ridiculous and trying too hard. But if person B hates thing A because they genuinely dislike thing A, then it isn't an issue. Don't be a total sheep, but don't be hating on everything popular for the sake of hating it, either. Of course, if you genuinely dislike things that just happen to be popular for legitimate reasons, that's a different issue. But I do get irritated when people say "x and y are so mainstream, so I hate it!" Last time, some douche said being Asian was too mainstream. What.

Peer pressure, though, man. Never liked what it did to some of my friends. I've been largely apathetic/lazy/too much of a nerdasian enough to be immune to the serious shit, at least.

[Aethereal]

I hate the anti-conformist. The one who acts completely different 'Because she's a different unique person and she has problems!' doesn't fly with me. Everybody has problems. Doesn't mean you have to stand out so far, others' eyes are drawn to you. Nothing more then attention seekers who need to feel wanted.

I just be myself, like everybody else should. I'm smart enough, athletic enough, and attractive enough to avoid getting picked on, and I make friends with those who are good to be friends with and who I like being with. Of course, peer pressure does a lot, and nobody is immune. But conforming to a group isn't always a bad thing, if one can retain his own individuality.

I don't think you're talking about actual anti-conformity. A huge group of people does X, and a huge group of other people does Y. Both groups are filled with people who share a lot of qualities, do the same things, and act similarly, in an effort to fit in. Which group is the conformists? The "Anti-Conformist" label is something certain people give themselves, when they want to consider themselves different/unique/"individuals" when they're just a bunch of tools. If you and all of your friends listen to the same music, go to the same bars/concerts, talk about the same things, dress the same way, get the same piercings/died hair/whatever, kill free time the same way, have the same sense of humor, have the same political beliefs, etc, you're not anti-conformist at all. There's nothing wrong with those things, but people who flaunt themselves as anti-conformists, when they act just like their click of people, are generally looking for attention or respect.

I don't think it should honestly matter wether a group thinks it's good or bad, but it'd be pretty judgmental to say every one should think that way and act that way, because it's what I think. I completely understand that the people who do things for other people's respect/admiration/whatever is important to some. The problem is the asshole behavior, flaunting their "rebellion" as if it somehow makes them better people, and the complete double standard through which they look at others.

End of long rant when it is entirely too early to be making a point like this.

[Original Alear]

I hate the anti-conformist. The one who acts completely different 'Because she's a different unique person and she has problems!' doesn't fly with me. Everybody has problems. Doesn't mean you have to stand out so far, others' eyes are drawn to you. Nothing more then attention seekers who need to feel wanted.

That's a good reason to hate someone! </sarc>

I just be myself, like everybody else should. I'm smart enough, athletic enough, and attractive enough to avoid getting picked on, and I make friends with those who are good to be friends with and who I like being with. Of course, peer pressure does a lot, and nobody is immune. But conforming to a group isn't always a bad thing, if one can retain his own individuality.

You have a nice little justification there for your own existence. What if someone really is different enough to not run with the group? Maybe the fact that you direct hatred towards them simply for their desire to be different suggests they really are different, since you hate them and not others.

[Aere]

Which group is the conformists? The "Anti-Conformist" label is something certain people give themselves, when they want to consider themselves different/unique/"individuals" when they're just a bunch of tools.

This is what I meant when I said the "Anti-Conformist". I really phrased it wrong, sorry. I do not have anything against a person who is different, and who wants to be just that, but what I find hard to like is when a person wanting to be different is only doing so for the attention it brings them. I'm not saying everybody should be the same, quite the opposite, but don't go out of your way to avoid what others like.

If a person IS different, they should feel free to be so. But if a person just wants to be different because they want attention, that's a totally different thing. I'm not ok with that, and hate is a strong word and I shouldn't have used it.

[Lux Aeterna]

I hate the anti-conformist. The one who acts completely different 'Because she's a different unique person and she has problems!' doesn't fly with me. Everybody has problems. Doesn't mean you have to stand out so far, others' eyes are drawn to you. Nothing more then attention seekers who need to feel wanted.

Actually, the anti-conformist is so often done that it conforms to that specific mindset. It's pretty hard to be unique without falling into some group. Anyway, why all the hatred? Needing attention is a weakness, but are you going to tell me that having attention is a bad thing? We actually pretty much all need attention to a slight extent unless we plan to live totally alone. Know what'd happen if we had no attention at all? People would talk over you as if you didn't exist, and people would look like they were about to just walk through you. Go ahead, try living life like that and say you don't need any more attention like that.

Don't get me wrong, being different just to be different is a silly thing, at least to me. But to disparage them for needing attention is... not seeing both sides of the story.

I just be myself, like everybody else should. I'm smart enough, athletic enough, and attractive enough to avoid getting picked on, and I make friends with those who are good to be friends with and who I like being with. Of course, peer pressure does a lot, and nobody is immune. But conforming to a group isn't always a bad thing, if one can retain his own individuality.

Let me rephrase this into what it looks like you're actually trying to say.

I just be myself except when I don't. Surrendering your individuality is okay if you keep your individuality.

Okay. Yep. Makes a lot of sense.

[Aere]

I already said 'hate' was a bad word choice. Attention IS something everybody needs, but one can get attention without pushing themselves so far away from everybody else. It's easier to gain attention if one is unique, and I'm fine with that! I just don't like the Anti-Conform sense of uniqueness. A person should get attention because they're unique, not the other way around.

For the second part, you rephrased what I said assuming that I'm always in the middle. It's best to be oneself when one wants to be oneself, and likewise with conforming to a group. If a person wants to join a group or stereotype of people, they should join because they enjoy that way of life, not the attention it brings. The problem with the Anti-Conformist group is that, if given the chance, a solid amount of those people would change their mindset if they thought it would generate more attention.

I guess I'm trying to say is, I don't like those who are simply desperate for attention.

[Lux Aeterna]

You're missing the point.

You're saying "people can be conformist as long as they stay individual."

Do you understand what conformism is? The (not necessarily permanent) surrendering of one's self to a certain group for the purpose of being a part of that group.

So you're basically saying that it's fine to do something as long as you don't do that very thing. Don't even try to bring "anti-conformists" into this. That has nothing to do with this part of the argument.

Edited September 12, 2011 by Lux Aeterna

[Aere]

Conformism is not absolute, it's not with or against. There's a difference between fully submerging oneself in whatever group and keeping one's head out of the same water. I'm saying it's fine to adhere to SOME standards, maybe even all of them, if you as a person truly agrees with said standards.

individuality |ˌindəˌvijəˈwalitē|

noun

1 the quality or character of a particular person or thing that distinguishes them from others of the same kind, esp. when strongly marked.

OTHERS OF THE SAME KIND. Even if you fully conform to a certain group, you can maintain your own views, even if they are irrelevant to the mainstream views of that group.

[Original Alear]

OTHERS OF THE SAME KIND. Even if you fully conform to a certain group, you can maintain your own views, even if they are irrelevant to the mainstream views of that group.

I would actually suggest that it is easier to maintain your views if they are irrelevant to the mainstream views of the group...it is if they are relevant and oppositional that you may, in some situations, run into difficulties.

[Lux Aeterna]

Conformism is not absolute, it's not with or against. There's a difference between fully submerging oneself in whatever group and keeping one's head out of the same water. I'm saying it's fine to adhere to SOME standards, maybe even all of them, if you as a person truly agrees with said standards.

individuality |ˌindəˌvijəˈwalitē|

noun

1 the quality or character of a particular person or thing that distinguishes them from others of the same kind, esp. when strongly marked.

OTHERS OF THE SAME KIND. Even if you fully conform to a certain group, you can maintain your own views, even if they are irrelevant to the mainstream views of that group.

Hey, hey, guess what. I can quote definitions, too.

con·form·ist   [kuhn-fawr-mist] Show IPA

noun

1.

a person who conforms, especially unquestioningly, to the usual practices or standards of a group, society, etc.

There ya go. "Unquestioningly to the usual practices"--that doesn't sound like you "pick and choose" what works for you. You do everything standard within that group, not just parts of it.

Take, for example, religion. Bear with me here, for I apologize for bringing this into the discussion, but I don't intend to start a religious flame war here, but... What do you do when you're in a religion? You /follow/ the aspects of that religion. You don't go, "ooh, this rule works for me," or "oh, that rule is too inconvenient for me." And don't even say "most people don't follow the exact laws of religion," because it says "the usual practices or standards."

Once you conform to a group, you surrender that part of your individuality. You can conform fully to a group and not lose your entire individuality to it. But you /have/ lost your individuality in all aspects that relate to it.

To bring up the religion example again, I am non-denominational Christian. I am conformist in that I surrender the part of my beliefs that God exists, Jesus is his son, etc... But I /don't/ subscribe myself to the laws of branches of Christianity (such as Catholicism) like "the Pope is the leader of the church," "you need to go to church," and "to find union with Jesus you need Communion."

In summation: I am conformist in my beliefs, but not in the way I practice said belief.

[Espinosa]

I always find it perplexing when people are blamed for "wanting attention". You're either saying attention is somehow not an urge relevant to you at all, or you're projecting your own intentions upon others, not to mention suddenly have the credibility to define what the motivation of the people around you are, as if you know what they really want better than they do themselves. I'm not too fond of either way to be honest.

[Aere]

Take, for example, religion. Bear with me here, for I apologize for bringing this into the discussion, but I don't intend to start a religious flame war here, but... What do you do when you're in a religion? You /follow/ the aspects of that religion. You don't go, "ooh, this rule works for me," or "oh, that rule is too inconvenient for me." And don't even say "most people don't follow the exact laws of religion," because it says "the usual practices or standards."

To bring up the religion example again, I am non-denominational Christian. I am conformist in that I surrender the part of my beliefs that God exists, Jesus is his son, etc... But I /don't/ subscribe myself to the laws of branches of Christianity (such as Catholicism) like "the Pope is the leader of the church," "you need to go to church," and "to find union with Jesus you need Communion."

In summation: I am conformist in my beliefs, but not in the way I practice said belief.

Actually, almost every single sect of Christianity was formed because the followers wanted to pick and choose what they believed in. Otherwise, Catholicism would be the only Christian sect. All those who created Puritanism, and even then Separatists, Congregationalists... They all wanted to adhere to a different sect of rules, while still following the main idea prescribed by the original religion they branched from.

Similar to groups, think of a certain group of people as a religion. If one became a member of a group (Say Puritanism), but then disagreed or wanted to change certain ideas of it, he could do so, and branch off. There, he kept his individuality while still conforming to a certain degree.

And I'm not sure what you meant by your summation, could you rephrase that?

EDIT:: Is your summarization kind of saying 'Saying you'll do something is different from actually doing it.' ?

Edited September 13, 2011 by Aere

[Original Alear]

Actually, almost every single sect of Christianity was formed because the followers wanted to pick and choose what they believed in. Otherwise, Catholicism would be the only Christian sect.

I'm not an expert, but that's a controversial viewpoint to take up. I'm pretty sure the Greek and Russian Orthodoxy, among others, would be angry to hear you saying something like that.