Soledai Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 For real... just hang on a sec........... Okay, minus the palace gardens, our grandmothers basically did the same things in their lives, maybe not an actual daycare but she watched and pretty much raised all of her grandchildren, she had a garden but... without anyone to attend to it, well... I don't know what she grew, since during my youth I was being a typical boy, I only danced with my grandma once -_- on her 70-something birthday, because i'm terrible at properly conveying words and feelings Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 (edited) Well, my grandma ran an actual daycare center, which I even attended (not just because she's my grandma either, but also because at the time, my mom was divorced and there was no way she'd be able to afford some other daycare. Meanwhile, my grandma took me for free). It was a really neat place too. She eventually moved it to her own home though and took a smaller group of kids, but that was long after I got too old to go to it. The palace garden and mountains and such were when she came to visit us in Europe. We were living there because my stepdad was military. She went with us to see stuff in Germany. She saw the Alps and Neuschwanstein Castle with us, the Heidelberg Castle, the Schwetzingen Palace (where the aforementioned garden is), hell, she has a literal piece of the Heidelberg Castle that she kinda sorta snuck as a souvenir. lol She always loved traveling and seeing stuff and she didn't care what ailed her while doing so. She even came while she had cancer. Edited September 28, 2013 by Anacybele Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soledai Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 A piece of a castle...? O-o... Those sound like some cool vacations, my old man was military before my time, so no sight seeing for me... but you on the other hand, castles and palaces with your grandma? i'm a bit envious mainly cuz I wanna visit castles during this lifetime Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 Yeah, the Heidelberg Castle is generally in ruins and my grandma found a small piece of the wall lying in the grass a bit ways off a path going through some woods. Now that I think about it, I hope she leaves me the castle piece and the pictures she needed to retake at the Schwetzingen Palace (the first time around, she lost the camera...somehow... She's normally not one to lose things. xP). I was the only person with her during both those instances. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IceBrand Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 I'll add in my two cents. Try and contact her in any way possible, if you can't, find someone that can. When you do meet her treat her as if it was any other day, as if she wasn't going to die to make her feel better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just call me AL Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 I've had some relatives pass away on me. I don't know much details about the death of a (I guess you could call her a) Grandaunt that was only related to me by her son's marriage to my Maternal Aunt. But If I remember correctly, my Paternal Grandmother passed away because she just lost the will to live after her best friend passed away. (I don't have any memories about my Paternal Grandmother, sadly.) But my Paternal Aunt did pass away after a health failure that was related to a smoking problem that she was trying to get over for a few years. Not helped by the fact that she had something on her that literally told the doctors not to try to keep her from dying. (I distinctly remember the reason being my Paternal Grandfather wasn't the same after a death prevention procedure, and she didn't want the same thing to happen to her.) It was just so much to take in at the time. Especially since I looked up to her as much as I did one of my Maternal Aunts. But I pressed on. Doing what I can do in life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacLovin Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 (edited) well, spend time and treasure it. which reminds me, I've got to spend more time with my family instead of goofing around. Edited September 30, 2013 by Shar Pei Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted September 30, 2013 Author Share Posted September 30, 2013 ...I can't do anything now. She's gone... My grandma's gone. She just passed an hour ago. *sniff* That was way too fast... ;_; Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunwoo Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Ana, I'm really sorry to hear about this. I can't say I understand what you're going through right now because the closest person to me that's passed was actually a friend's sister (who was also my friend) and we missed a lot of time after high school. It sounds as if you were very close to your grandmother. In a way, the fact that you and your grandmother were very close is a blessing. It sounds as if you knew her really well, knew a lot of things about her, and spent a lot of time with her. It sounds as if you shouldn't have regrets about "things left unsaid". Anyway, I'd suggest talking with your parents and other family you are close you, you said you were close with your mother, right? They'll most likely understand how you are feeling right now and you can share the memories of your grandmother that you all have, you know? It's going to be difficult, coping with this, but you don't have to do it alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted September 30, 2013 Author Share Posted September 30, 2013 Yeah, I am glad I got so many years with her. But I feel bad for others who didn't and my mom because she didn't even make it up there in time to see her... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunwoo Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Yeah, the thing about life is that it's almost impossible to avoid regrets. That friend I mentioned in my earlier post, whenever I do think of it I always regret that I never did get to talk to her or see her as much. I still met with her brother at times, and I wish I had asked her to hang out with us more when she was around. It's really sad that your mom wasn't able to see your grandmother one last time, and you are lucky you were so close to her and got to know her. But regrets won't make you or anyone else feel better. I suppose all you can do is try not to dwell on any regrets and just keep her memory alive by sharing stories and just talking with one another about what you're feeling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted September 30, 2013 Author Share Posted September 30, 2013 Yeah, you're right. And my stepdad said to remember that she's in a better place and that she isn't suffering anymore... But it's going to take me some time to recover. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunwoo Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Recovery will take some time, yeah, and every person recovers in a different way at a different rate. Take as much time as you need, and remember that you don't have to go through this alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted September 30, 2013 Author Share Posted September 30, 2013 Yeah, that's very true. Thanks, Sangyul. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunwoo Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 No problem, and I wish the best for you and your family during this time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted September 30, 2013 Author Share Posted September 30, 2013 And I really appreciate that, thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silver Lightning Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 I'm so sorry to hear about this. I know its never enough to take away the pain, but I hope you can recover from this and do know that you have people who care about you. I think it'd make your grandma happy to know that you are doing well and loved, even if its in mourning. I'm sorry for your loss, and I know I'm here for support if you need it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted September 30, 2013 Author Share Posted September 30, 2013 I hope I can recover too. Thanks, SL, you always were a cool person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Sorry to hear that. I'm not sure what else to say, and going into why would derail the thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 It's okay, I understand. So, I'm back from being away and the funeral and all is over and done with. My mom totally broke down during the service and my little cousin cried when it finally hit her that our grandmother is gone, but overall, we're pulling through pretty well. And my little cousin is handling this a lot better than I thought she would. I'm proud of her. And we've also even started discussing plans for summer vacation next year. We're gonna be pretty alright. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Welcome back~! There's no shame to bawl at the funeral of someone you love and miss dearly! Here's hoping that your next summer vacation is awesome~! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 (edited) Yeah, here's to that. ^^ But for now, RIP Mary Lou Betler. December 20th, 1947 - September 30th, 2013. You're missed dearly. And I hope that your spirit saw how big a funeral procession you had. Edited October 7, 2013 by Anacybele Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Laufeyson Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Awww Ran, im sorry to hear that. *hug* I understand how you are feeling. My own grandma (who is a bit of a crackpot...in a good way) is on her way out due to lung cancer. Its never easy. She lives about two hours away so its not terribly often i get to see her. (Although i did see her a couple of weeks ago) Treasure the time you had with your gran. Sometimes, just reminiscing about stuff you did with your loved one helps ease the pain. You and your siblings/cousins probably have a lot of fun stories to swap. Much love to your family and hopes of moving forward! <3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Djeets Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 (edited) i hoped your grandma lived the best of her life with no regrets at all and fully satisfied with her life in the end Edited October 7, 2013 by Pukuriripo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raven Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 I've lost two close family members in my lifetime. My great-grandfather was essentially the most influential role model to me in my life, and was like a father to me. He deteriorated over a number of months in 2006, losing weight, and the steep decrease in quality of life was very noticeable. Close to the end, he was too weak to even dress himself. One day he went to hospital after having problems breathing, and he died there the next evening. He was 87. I was never so close to any other family member, and I haven't been since. My auntie and uncle had their second daughter back in 2000. At the age of 18 weeks, she had died of what is called a cot death. While my aunt and uncle have since had two children since then, it still hurts to think how there could have been one more kid coming home from school with her sisters and brother, and the sixth spot on the dinner table remaining empty. Death is very sad for all involved, but unavoidable. It's best, as many have already mentioned here, to remember the good times you had between you and the deceased. Mourning is fine, but you also can't let it take control of your life, since you still have your own life left to live. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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