Screenshot FFM's LP of FE12: Hard Mode

[FrostyFireMage]

Hiho, people. I've been meaning to do something to keep my mind off certain things, and so I've decided to play FE12 for your viewing pleasure.

Da rules:

1: No stat-boosters allowed other than Star Shards. Performance enhancing drugs are illegal.

2: Instant reset whenever an ally's HP reaches 0.

3: I'm not playing for LTC so no "da fuk you play liek uberskrub".

4: Also no reclassing.

5: Map saves are allowed due to this game's sucky avoid formula.

With that out of the way, LET'S GET DIS PARTY STARTED.

[spoiler=Epic Beginning of Epic Adventure]

Here, have an epic Marth pose.

Get psyched.

New Game (of course what did you expect)

Things are gonna get EDGY.

Classic for the Ultimate FE Experience.

"Hi, I'm Anna! Professor Oak let me borrow his psychic broadcasting device."

"He also told me to ask this question for some reason."

My real name.

Mage so I can go FWOOOOSH and BZZZOW and WHOOOOSH

This is the avatar I use every time I play this game.

I'm an honorable country kid who is "diverse" (whatever that's supposed to mean).

Get at me.

AW YISS WE'RE MAKING THIS HAPPEN

HOLY SHIT AN ENEMY UNIT BUMPED INTO ME

I CAN TELL BECAUSE NO EYES

You know it.

Wow. TMI, Katarina.

Oh hi there, Kent 2.0 and Sain 2.0.

Also stop looking at me like that, Katarina. Kinda creepy.

...YOU DON'T SAY.

Oh good. I'm just a country bumpkin who's totally not a Gary Stu self-insert at all so I was kind of worried.

I WONDER WHO'S GONNA BE MY PARTNER

knew it

BS. I'm going to be the one making the orders and you know it.

Time to start the burning.

FWOOSH

You wanna frickle frackle?

Toasty~

Pain.

Time to heal.

You asked for it.

Speed. Eh.

I won.

Better recognize.

OMG It's Marth-sempaiiii

yeah shut up Katarina

and DIE FOR ME.

...Even though I'm going to be doing all the work.

And so ends the beginning of the prologue. Stay tuned for more wacky wartime hijinks!

Edited January 16, 2015 by Tangerine

[Soledai]

Why, drugs are fun

Will stick around though, I plan to die for Marth heroically

[Caster]

katarina so rude

can't even pull her weight and fite

useless

I expect Rickard the totally not inferior thief to be used.

[Soledai]

Who'd you have in mind for the three Regalia?

If you didn't, may I suggest people with long hair? Looks cooler that way

katarina so rude

can't even pull her weight and fite

useless

I expect Rickard the totally not inferior thief to be used.

But she's good at that one thing involving your back and a knife

[FrostyFireMage]

Next chapter...

[spoiler=Now We Are Space Cowboys...uh... Squires]

boring exposition idc

If you played/seen Shadow Dragon you should already know all this

OH HEY THAT'S US

What a coincidence.

More like Paladin of Yawn.

Also dat face.

No wait, scratch what I said before: YOU'RE the Paladin of Yawn.

I didn't know they were recruiting kids fresh out of Kindergarten.

Also dat face.

We eat tacos and gelato.

...Or not.

how 'bout no

Kat gets it.

Uh, yeah, I didn't really have the option...

This should be good.

Kat states the obvious.

This script was probably written by a feminist.

Could somebody please explain to me why the peanut gallery is on MY team?

Also Luke's gonna get trampled.

Listen to him, Luke.

Chillin' in the forts.

Keep it cool, MU.

u so buttmad

We exchange blows.

Go forth and chip, little chipper.

Thanks for the experience.

Just another day in the life of MU

Ryan, go lure Rody while I go heal a little.

Clearly you are some sort of master strategist.

Using children as bait.

Like A Boss.

Chip damage.

Being nice won't net you mercy.

DAT SIDESTEP

Defying the RNG, one turn at a time.

SUFFER LIKE LUKE DID

Not hard at all.

Because you touch yourself at night.

...Or that.

The wisdom of shitty early-game archers.

Show them the real super power of teamwork.

Probably should have told him about the hourly whippings.

How about "Bitch Maker"?

...Are you coming on to me?

Gee, don't I feel flattered.

The 7th Platoon is ready to transform and roll out!

Edited January 6, 2014 by Frosty Fire Mage

[Vashiane]

Oh, this is great. XD

[FrostyFireMage]

[spoiler=Let's Get Down To Business]

So...no tacos? D:

Probably some loser...

oh hey it's Cainnn

Fair enough.

Scrubs go home.

The weaklings are turned into mush.

Princess Caeda!?

...No, I will not go easy on you. Go hard or go home.

Kat's abundant Les Yay.

the hell you talking about, Kat? You haven't lifted a weapon ever since we came here.

These guys are dangerous if you let them gang up on a a single unit.

Which they will if given the chance.

...Also we wanna stay out of her range. Getting doubled isn't fun.

Getting into position.

please tell me that axe is clean

Countering...

Luke and the merc have at it.

Ryan and Rody are the designated chippers.

I finish him off at CLOSE RANGE.

Game as fuck.

Rody chips.

Luke finishes him off.

I'm probably going to be using Luke long-term. Sorry, Ryan and Rody, you didn't make the cut.

Rody gets pushed to the brink.

Also Ryan does chip damage afterwards.

What's this?

LUKE CRITICAL

Rody and I are miraculously regenerating in the forts.

Don't wanna draw Caeda's aggro until I'm ready.

Luke is bait.

Easy for you to say Caeda, you're made of speed.

Luke takes 7 x 2 damage.

Now Ryan, miss and I'll dope slap you.

No dope slap today.

...Not impressed, kid. *dope slap*

Still, stronger chipping is better chipping.

We attacked a princess and earned her eternal loyalty.

MU you total dork

Again, dork.

...Chemical warfare?

This question decides what character you'll face in the next chapter.

I said yes because MU is a clueless dork

...That doesn't sound particularly wise...

Your strength being...obvious advice?

Caeda's fabulous speed is now ours to utilize!

[eclipse]

I'm so tempted to make a Rody run, because all I see is Luke. . .granted, I'm a sucker for green hair, but still. . .

Twenty bucks that MU walks out Forever Alone. Smooth with the ladies he is not.

[FrostyFireMage]

[spoiler=Ve Vill Train!]

There's always room for more friends.

you just had to ask didn't you Ryan

Geez Ryan go through puberty already

Those eyes.

Luke's thinking dirty thoughts.

Asexual MU at it again.

Good news, everyone!

Ask and ye shall receive.

RIP Luke's boner

Along with other feelings that are deeply confusing.

Unusual...?

Unusual. Yep.

gee thanks Kat

My strategy will be to hide everyone behind the wall in the northwest corner.

Bold move, I know.

...But first I give Rody's lance to Luke.

Luke and Caeda will deal with the closest enemies while I deal with the archer.

I counter and attack on Player Phase to remove the archer menace.

What's Ryan's favorite food? Chips.

lolol i'm behind a wall u can't touch this

Ryan makes for a surprisingly effective tank.

Chipping.

...About time the RNG started being uncooperative.

...Oh well. The RNG can't save you forever!

Vas good fight.

YES STRENGTH THIS IS THE BEST LEVEL UP EVER

With most of the threat neutralized I send out Luke to gain some EXP.

Typical Luke level, give or take.

Caeda defeats the soldier and damages the remaining enemies on Enemy Phase.

Luke gets the last EXP of the map.

Pretty much.

Shaken, not stirred.

And with that, Athena joins us. I may use her, just to make this LP more interesting.

Nobody said anything about interim reports.

oh man we're gonna fail so bad

Gary Stu MU aims to please.

Not exactly...

Castles are not like houses.

You heard it here first, folks.

NO I'M A THIEF DROP YOUR VALUABLES

Go back to the barnyard, MU

Ouch. Ice cold, Elice.

Pity, really.

._.

Since when did MU get so wise?

Reset.

Again, reset.

Oh great, I'm his babysitter now?

So now we know Elice thinks Marth is a pansy. Oh well, on with our training!

Edited January 7, 2014 by Frosty Fire Mage

[Elieson]

I've yet to play this with the English patch, so this is quite entertaining.

Moar Luke Moar Wrys!

[Soledai]

I partially sympathize with Luke, girls bring out male powers... but still....

Wait, I though you were Frosty Fire Sage? Didn't you promote at some point?

I like Elice... I like 'em blunt and frosty

[FrostyFireMage]

I partially sympathize with Luke, girls bring out male powers... but still....

Wait, I though you were Frosty Fire Sage? Didn't you promote at some point?

I like Elice... I like 'em blunt and frosty

I accidentally used a Second Seal. :(

[FrostyFireMage]

Sadly I won't be able to upload screenshots until my Imgur gets upgraded. =/

[FrostyFireMage]

Imgur finally updated my account!

[spoiler=Obligatory Bandit Beating]

Ughhh.

Luke, Nature Hero

Generic response from generic character.

The cat's out of the bag.

Guess MU's Gary Stu-ness doesn't extend to his sense of direction.

Quite an accomplishment, Luke.

For you, I mean.

THINK OF THE CHILDREN

Our objective is crystal clear now, thanks Rody.

When Luke is criticizing you for being incompetent you know something's up.

Screw that. I want my 8 hours, thank you very much.

Oh hey Ryan, forgot you were with us for a sec.

Figured we'd have to deal with this sooner or later.

You're generic even for a generic bandit.

And you're...not so generic.

Think of the EXP innocent villagers!

Luring with Athena...

Sweet dodge from Athena.

OH HEY IT'S MY MAIN MAN MERRIC

You don't look like some manner of rodent, for one.

Merric helps chip.

I'm not going to try and get him any levels or anything in the Prologue - he levels up quickly in the main story anyway.

Strength plus usual Caeda fare. I like.

Caeda and Luke withstand the Enemy Phase.

Eh.

I think I counter and double this guy.

Wrys and his magic sponginess.

Even your battle quote is generic.

Batta the Beast you ain't.

Moar magic.

Maybe the name tipped you off.

Um...we're kinda lost too. It's all Luke's fault, really.

You're unusually pretty for a bandit.

Eine? Who is Eine?

D:

No thanks to you, Luke.

I'm just going to answer Yes to all of these questions.

It's not like he was hard to miss...

Changing the subject, Kat?

How dare you protect innocent villagers!

We so awesome.

Hardly.

The MU with his brokenness and Katarina with her...presence?

Yeah, your sis told me you're kind of a wuss.

Screw old, lazy soldiers.

It would make sense if it were Kat saying it...

To be a Royal Guard or not to be a Royal Guard...that is the question.

Edited January 10, 2014 by Frosty Fire Mage

[MRDRHAWK]

USE DOGA OR I DOPE-SLAP YOU

DOGA

DOGA

DOGA

[FrostyFireMage]

USE DOGA OR I DOPE-SLAP YOU

DOGA

DOGA

DOGA

...Maaaaaaaaybe.

[eclipse]

...Maaaaaaaaybe.

THAT IS NOT A YES, HOW DARE YOU!

(Draug's HP will forever suck, but he's pretty funny when reclassed to Hunter or Pirate)

[FrostyFireMage]

[spoiler=Cecille's Headband of Power]

BOND WITH ME, 7TH PLATOON.

Luke is thinking.

This can't be good.

Kinda like Hector's, except green.

Luke, you're being Sain.

Stop being Sain.

Girls would rather become pedos than date you, Luke.

Ouch.

:S

This 'do cannot be imitated. Sorry.

Essentially.

LOL. Scrubs.

To weed out the Amelias from the Seths. Gotcha.

goddammit MU came here to AVOID going to college

...But aren't you dead?

The whole "canon sacrifice" thing and all that?

(yes I know the story don't point it out)

Hooray, now I can bench people!

Let us speak with our allies.

blablablashadowdragonplot.jpg

You don't look very sincere, Kat.

I make screenies at the most hilarious moments sometimes.

Yep, just some run-off-the-mill yokel.

"Training".

Maclir is a slave driver.

"You don't need a personality or anything."

Our adversaries on this map.

*drum roll*

Who else but Draug?

Useless Katarina Advice #326

CECIIIIIIIILE

no objections

OMG KATARINA IS BEING AN ASSET

So yeah, I am totally using my FE12 waifu Cecille. Tough luck, Rody.

Getting into position and protecting Wrys' geriatric head

Cecille gets first blood.

...While the other soldier decides to play with fire.

Caeda wrecks the soldier's burnt ass...

...while Cecille finishes what she started.

Luke will draw out the archer while Caeda draws out the mage.

I weaken the mage while Cecille mops up.

Caeda beats the archer.

lololol I love irony

DEFENSE. Me likey.

Draug surprisingly goes after Luke.

Must be green-hair rivalry.

I weaken him with Luke and Caeda so Cecille can get the EXP.

Would have liked some HP/Defense but that'll do.

I drop the Steel Bow. I wasn't going to be using Ryan anyway - I have other bow users in mind...

...Because we're SONIC HEROES!

I've actually played more of the game than what this topic seems to suggest. I've used Draug a little, but I'm not sure if I'll be using him in my main team.

MU's entire existence revolves around serving Marth so...obviously.

We both want to be Royal Guards: it's not like I saw you naked.

We're nearing the end of the Prologue, guys!

Edited January 10, 2014 by Frosty Fire Mage

[MRDRHAWK]

DOGA SOLO GO

[FrostyFireMage]

[spoiler=Test of Finality]

Get psyched people

I bet it was

To be fair, I've been kind of biased with delegating experience...

You mean the Prologue is nearly over? w00t

more boring exposition, ho!

So we get boring exposition from a prince. Same difference.

And then politics.

He also wears a turban, which is cool.

Sepia Flashback Time!

I AM STRONK INDEPENDENT WOMEN, HEAR ME ROAR

Somebody needs to break you.

Luke will never get laid.

Or he'll cry once it's over.

Brooding. You?

She realized her advice is INSUFFICIENT.

MU attempts compassion.

Oh, OK then! *leaves*

Meanwhile MU smiles like a little sociopath.

That's usually what happens in a war.

All rulers should have compassion yada yada yada all that jazz

But unlike you I can rewind time through sheer force of reset will.

U jelly, Marth?

Something tells me English (or Altean, or...whatever) isn't your first language.

My foresight is immaculate.

>implying that MU isn't asexual

Good one, Athena.

"Manchild" suggests MU isn't a robot.

Our next map.

*collective gasp*

Luke heads to the fort while I soften an armor dude.

Cecille knocks him out.

Wha...

...Luke just got two crits in a row.

+5 Respect Points.

...But he gets an ehh level.

Athena and Luke finish off some weak enemies while Draug advances.

I pull Athena back for reasons that shall soon become apparent.

Instantly acting reinforcements, my one true bane in life.

MU gets pushed to the brink.

Cain approaches while Wrys bleeds out.

PUNY HORSEBIRD NOT HURT PUNY OLD MAN

I roast some guy for a decent level up.

Magic's all you really need, so... kudos?

Athena spanks the horsebird while Luke confronts Cain.

Ehhhhh

Luke is winrar

and gets a sweet level up as a trophy

I can feel the tension

oh stop it you

PARTY AT LUKE'S PLACE

...Yes, Ryan.

...What he said.

Cecille plans a murder spree.

But it's all in good fun!

Your cheer-leading was most instrumental to our success.

Says the person who looks half-asleep.

I know where this is going.

cry5ever

Yay, happy ending!

derp

It's like you told me that story so I would understand what you're going to do or something.

"They also forced me to twerk for them." ;_;

I'm sorry, that was mean.

So you can cosplay as Ryu.

...I hold in my hands a cloth of arcane might.

Always be yourself.

Unless you can be Cecille. Then always be Cecille.

No one head should have all that power.

...But I'll try it anyway.

Soon we shall be knighted! But something tells me we're in for a surprise...

Edited January 12, 2014 by Frosty Fire Mage

[MRDRHAWK]

THAT WASN'T A DOGA SOLO

WHAT THE FUCK

[FrostyFireMage]

THAT WASN'T A DOGA SOLO

WHAT THE FUCK

hard mode lulz

[MRDRHAWK]

I DON'T CARE YOU MUST DOGA SOLO

[FrostyFireMage]

*trollface*

[fatgamecat]

3: I'm not playing for LTC so no "da fuk you play liek uberskrub".

Don't worry, they seem to be gone from this subforum. For now anyway.