Is punishing your adult child for not getting a job too much?

[Ercdouken]

So I haven't been on Serenes Forest the last few days because of my situation, and our internet was down for a day and a half.

Normally I wouldn't talk about my personal life, but I have gone through tough shit these last few days. I'm 25, I have autism and trouble getting a job. We did found something to help me get experience and possibly a job that pays well, but it didn't work out well because of me being an idiot and not using the right words due to anxiety. Unfortunately, anxiety also caused me to lie to my father when he came to pick me up from work on my last day there. Once he found out, things weren't pretty. He overreacted, pushed me around, and even said stuff like giving me the black eye.

He also doesn't realize that I have anxiety and procrastination problems, but unfortunately he has this mindset of me thinking I act like some kind of kid who thinks everything is games, no matter how many times I tell him that isn't true, and saying the work was boring doesn't help. I also know how important work is, but my dad responded with "Now you do!" despite the fact I knew it for longer than he thinks I do. He even did an interpretation of me that's both insulting and disrespectful.

So now I am being punished to do work every weekday, whether it's yard work or survey's online. His attitude towards me has tone down though and even tone the punishment down. We are looking for ways for me to make a living, and I have a job interview on Wednesday. I know why he gave me this punishment, but I still feel he went overboard with it, and made my anxiety even worse. Talking to him has now become even more difficult for me. I even thought about leaving my home to not only make myself feel better, but be able to make my own life and career decisions, even if it means facing a difficult road ahead. I would hate to do it though, but the damage my dad did to me won't recover anytime soon.

What do you think and what should I do?

Edited March 30, 2016 by EricTheMerc91

[eclipse]

I notice you say that "this caused me to do that", not "I did this". As long as you think it's an external force (whether it be your dad or your anxiety), and not something within, things won't change for the better. I won't think you're a bad person for admitting to screwing up - if anything, I respect people who acknowledge their actions, for good or for bad.

Once you're willing to take responsibility for your actions, go see a therapist for that anxiety.

[Phoenix Wright]

tricky. it's fair if you live under their roof, but it appears that there's trouble on both sides.

threatening you with violence is a bad thing. he shouldn't have done that, for sure.

anxiety can be a real mental health issue, but it sounds to me like it's self-diagnosed. see a doctor about it, show your dad that it's a real condition. people around the world have very harmful misconceptions about mental health issues.

however, your procrastination problem is really your own. people aren't motivated indefinitely; instead, people have discipline. i don't particularly enjoy doing some of my homework assignments, but i do it because they matter. i work because it matters. also, you're 25 and living for free i'm assuming. frankly, i'm surprised you're just beginning to do work like this.

maybe it'd be wise to have a talk with your father about these things.

[Excellen Browning]

Sup fellow autist. Your father is abusive towards you. Punishing you for being clumsy (when you really can't do anything about it) is just shitty. I recommend you get out of his house. If you take this step, you might want to have someone help you. If you think you'll have problems living on your own, some form of supported living is a good idea. I suspect you live in the US, so I have no idea who you should go to about this. A psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in autism might know.

[B.Leu]

... What's with people not having good parent ? God forbid that the parents try to understand their children.

I dunno if your dad is bad , or that he is desesperate and doesn't know what to do. A black eye ? As in, the injury ? Or the stink eye, as in... not being in good term with you ? I ask that because you said 'the' instead of 'a'. At any case, it doesn't portray a good picture of him.

But for the subject at hand 'anxiety and procrastination problems', those can be serious problems (No shit, you'll say), especially with autism, like it's been said, you should seek assistance. I know that yeah, it won't be fun, anxiety and all... but since you have a visibly angry dad behind your ass...

Psychologist/Psychiatrist are the way to go, I'm not sure how things are done in the US though.

By the by, shouldn't this topic be in Serious Discussion and not in general ? Because we are in rather iffy subject there, violence, anxiety, antism, works and all that stuff... those are not fun subjects, it's depressive and serious.

Edited March 29, 2016 by B.Leu

[Shin]

It's probably worth sitting down with your dad and talking things out. You're 25 and seemingly fairly functional. Whilst his wording was probably harsh, you really should either be in education or looking to find some sort of employment. Getting you to do work around the house isn't too unreasonable, you should be able to contribute something. How much is he asking you to do? If it's like an hour a day, that's pretty OK, if it's like 8, then there's a problem.

You need to take some responsibility for your actions. Autism will make things more challenging for you, and can help explain some of your difficulties, however, it's not a get-out-of-jail free card. The same goes for anxiety, I can understand that it can make things even more difficult, but procrastination is something you need to actively work on resolving (there's some degree of irony with that).

At the end of the day, you and your dad have a couple of things to work on. Communication and possibly getting some sort of external support might be handy, but you need to realise that you're growing up, and that you'll have to adapt to the world as it changes around you.

[SpacelessZarius]

Hi there, as a fellow autist I understand perfectly that anything outside of the comfort zone is very tricky. First off I do agree that punishing you for losing a job is too far, you're 25 and are old enough to realise your mistakes yourself which you clearly have and the fact you can admit them even when feeling uncomfortable about it is a good sign. Your dad should really have tried to understand things from your view, as you aren't comfortable with these sort of things and try to be more understanding.

Second, doing jobs around the house isn't a bad idea. Im 22 my self and live with my family for several reasons main two being; I cant afford to move out and health reasons. I still help out where I get asked as well as also contribute with what income I have to help pay for weekly shoppig and what not. So in this respect this is a good way to show your dad that you can take responsibility for your actions and show you are willingly to work.

Third, while autism does hinder us yes, try not to get used to using it as a excuse. I'm not too sure how US employers will handle it, but I would think that talking about your difficulties will also help them find you the right job, there can in fact sometimes be some positive discrimination from it. For example part of my autism means that I can fixate on one task and get it done quick and well done, some employers will love that and hire you cause you can do that (seriously some councillor told me this and I could hardly believe it as well.).

Finally, I would bridge this gap between you and your dad, try to help him understand your point of view while also showing him you are a grown up and you don't need to be punished for losing a job, as this will not be the last time you lose a job for whatever reason. The current gap between you however is not gonna be healthy especially if you can't move out. Oh also if you can some sort of psychologist or psychiatrist to talk to about this, I think that would be a very good move as they'll no doubt help you solve these hurdles that is autism.

[Ercdouken]

I appreciate the advices guys. Some things to mention though.

I actually had a job at a small museum place a couple years ago. It was a seasonal job, working from April - December. However, I was not hired again because of my social skills. I also do house jobs every now and then, and earn money for them.

My dad isn't always an asshole, but he can be a hothead, and he has gone through lots of crap through his life. He's also retired now, and I'm off his insurance next year so me getting a job or making a living out of something is important. I know he and my family want to help me, but you shouldn't force your kid to get a certain job just because it pays a lot. You also shouldn't be a total asshole toward your kid if he/she doesn't want to do the job. And threatening your kid with violence can really make things worse. There are stuff I would really like to say to him to help him understand me better, but I bet he'll be an ass and say things that won't help at all.

Procrastinating is something I really want to change about myself. Spacing out and/or lack of motivation can be stressful for me.

I would love to see a therapist about my anxiety, but I don't think I have the funds to pay to see one on my own. Also, as much as I want to move out, I don't have much money, I don't drive, don't really have any IRL friends anymore, and staying at a relative's house isn't an option. I'm not too sure what to do at this point.

[Moblin Major General]

I have a similar problem, except my dad isn't an asshole and isn't even what would be considered "over the hill." Sure, he says I should at least make an attempt to go back to school and/or get a job, but he isn't actively pressuring me or even angry that I dropped out of school last January, even though he expressed his disappointment at my 2.0 GPA (I went to a public college on an academic scholarship alone, and didn't meet the GPA requirement to keep it.) What I need to do before I re-enroll is to see a psychologist to see what other mental issues accompany my AS, most likely anxiety, clinical depression, and possibly autism-related OCD. I'm focusing on learning to drive so that I can become independent of my family. I'm not alone in my struggles, either, as my older sister also has some of these issues, although she doesn't have AS like I do. I am in the process of researching public sector job opportunities, though it might take some time before I qualify for the most basic of them.

[EricaofRenais]

If you live in the US most cities have free or low cost mental health services for people who need/want help but can't pay you should check if your area offers any. As some one who has health issues and still lives at home I have to do chores myself, but like others have said it sounds like you and your dad need to have a sit down talk with a 3rd party moderating. You should look in to jobs you can do that won't be so stressful because if you are stressed the whole time you won't be able to do the job ( this is from my own past and I wish I had quit sooner then I did).

[Ercdouken]

I notice you say that "this caused me to do that", not "I did this". As long as you think it's an external force (whether it be your dad or your anxiety), and not something within, things won't change for the better. I won't think you're a bad person for admitting to screwing up - if anything, I respect people who acknowledge their actions, for good or for bad.

Once you're willing to take responsibility for your actions, go see a therapist for that anxiety.

I realized what you mean in the first sentence. Yeah, I really should have said "I got anxious and ended up lying to my father because I didn't know what to say" or something like that. I do regret the things I said at the trainee program I was in. Really wished I had a better understanding of what I was doing.

[eclipse]

I realized what you mean in the first sentence. Yeah, I really should have said "I got anxious and ended up lying to my father because I didn't know what to say" or something like that. I do regret the things I said at the trainee program I was in. Really wished I had a better understanding of what I was doing.

Anxiety sucks. It's also why I said nothing about your father, and everything about addressing it first. Talking to your father isn't going to be easy, but I think therapy will help you to cope with the anxiety, so you'll be able to express yourself better.

As for your father. . .I have several different reasons why he'd do what he did, and not all of them point to him being a bad person. Perhaps he needs anger management classes (though suggesting therapy together probably won't sit well with him). Perhaps he thinks that obtaining employment today is the same as it was 25 years ago. Perhaps he's got some other issues, and lying brings out the worst in him (it does for me). It sounds like the rest of your family is supportive, which is a good thing. Perhaps a few neutral parties, along with you and your dad, can help to iron out some of the issues the two of you have. But I'd hit the anxiety first!

[DuskDawn]

Hey man, if you are having a lot of anxiety problems, then maybe an SSRI like Zoloft is the way to go. Trust me, Zoloft will help your anxiety dramatically (and depression if you have it), it's just the side effects you have to look out for. If you are interested in this, then talk to your doctor and maybe get some more external help as well. Life is tough, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I'll be here for you.

[Bullwine85]

As someone who is also 25, diagnosed with high functioning autism, and went through almost your exact same situation about a year ago, I know your pain.

I had a period of unemployment for about 5-6 months after getting fired from a job where I only lasted one month. The reason I only lasted that long? I ended being sick for four days straight with one of the worst colds I ever had (throat was so sore that I could barely swallow food without excruciating pain, and could barely talk on top of it). My dad then insists I was fired "because I was lazy" and that I was fired from previous jobs (like a customer service job with a cable company) because I was "lazy" despite the fact that I had that job for over two years (though considering the stress that came with that job, it's a wonder why I didn't choose to leave that earlier, but that's another topic for another day). He even went as far as to threaten to "throw your lazy ass out so you can live in the streets", and he is still under the impression that getting and keeping a job is the same as it was when he was growing up, even going as far as saying "times haven't changed at all", and calling me a failure because "you've been unemployed longer than I ever have been ever since I was 14". I almost wanted to punch him, but restrained myself.

Anyways, once I finally DID get a job (that I still have), his attitude changed. Partly because I was able to get one back, and partly because my work schedule meant that I rarely saw him.

I get it, it sucks. It's miserable. But when you finally do get a job, it can go a long way. Getting that anxiety taken care of can also help. It won't be easy, but it will be well worth it.

Edited April 1, 2016 by Bullwine85

[Moblin Major General]

Update: My Dad told me that there's an AS specialist at a hospital where he goes for free because of his public sector job. He told me to think about it, and am seriously considering going, because being only semi-functional member of society irks me to no end.

[Locust]

I'm 27 and diagnosed with Asperger's, and I'm on disability instead of working. I guess it would be nice if I could live a more normal life.

Do you have an autism center in your town/city that could offer you some help?

[Ercdouken]

It's probably worth sitting down with your dad and talking things out. You're 25 and seemingly fairly functional. Whilst his wording was probably harsh, you really should either be in education or looking to find some sort of employment. Getting you to do work around the house isn't too unreasonable, you should be able to contribute something. How much is he asking you to do? If it's like an hour a day, that's pretty OK, if it's like 8, then there's a problem.

You need to take some responsibility for your actions. Autism will make things more challenging for you, and can help explain some of your difficulties, however, it's not a get-out-of-jail free card. The same goes for anxiety, I can understand that it can make things even more difficult, but procrastination is something you need to actively work on resolving (there's some degree of irony with that).

At the end of the day, you and your dad have a couple of things to work on. Communication and possibly getting some sort of external support might be handy, but you need to realise that you're growing up, and that you'll have to adapt to the world as it changes around you.

Late, but @Bold: He makes me work from morning to evening.

As someone who is also 25, diagnosed with high functioning autism, and went through almost your exact same situation about a year ago, I know your pain.

I had a period of unemployment for about 5-6 months after getting fired from a job where I only lasted one month. The reason I only lasted that long? I ended being sick for four days straight with one of the worst colds I ever had (throat was so sore that I could barely swallow food without excruciating pain, and could barely talk on top of it). My dad then insists I was fired "because I was lazy" and that I was fired from previous jobs (like a customer service job with a cable company) because I was "lazy" despite the fact that I had that job for over two years (though considering the stress that came with that job, it's a wonder why I didn't choose to leave that earlier, but that's another topic for another day). He even went as far as to threaten to "throw your lazy ass out so you can live in the streets", and he is still under the impression that getting and keeping a job is the same as it was when he was growing up, even going as far as saying "times haven't changed at all", and calling me a failure because "you've been unemployed longer than I ever have been ever since I was 14". I almost wanted to punch him, but restrained myself.

Anyways, once I finally DID get a job (that I still have), his attitude changed. Partly because I was able to get one back, and partly because my work schedule meant that I rarely saw him.

I get it, it sucks. It's miserable. But when you finally do get a job, it can go a long way. Getting that anxiety taken care of can also help. It won't be easy, but it will be well worth it.

My dad has also said he would throw me to the streets. I'm looking for ways to deal with the anxiety.

[AnnetheCatDetective]

Hey, another fellow autistic person here!

I'm really sorry you're dealing with that whole situation. I know with my diagnosis, we were able to apply to keep me on my mom's insurance indefinitely, but it really sounds like that's not the right solution for you, and that you'd be better off if you were somewhere else, and if you could have someone to rely on for necessary help who wasn't treating you badly/treating you like you're still a child (it's basically never okay to 'punish' an adult child, even if they are under your roof, instead of working things out adult-to-adult... like, there are ways of enforcing house rules and getting people to all contribute in their own way that don't involve that kind of 'you do what I say because I'm the adult' punishment deal)...

Anyway, apply for services. I know not everyone wants to go on disability as even a short-term thing, and sometimes it's not a workable solution. I also don't know the extent of services in your area-- for instance, in the town I live in right now, there's a regional service center that sets people up with a case manager, helps to find employment for disabled adults, and they have people who assist with independent living for those who don't need to live in an assisted living home, but can't be totally cut loose without someone they can trust to check in on them... but a lot of areas don't have that. Even if not all those services exist where you are, there might be something that can help.

I really hope that your situation improves and that you can get the help you need to live securely and with reduced anxiety, and that you can get some kind of job soon. Definitely look to see if there's any kind of disability employment center in your area, or even something online that would service your area, if not a physical office.

[Esau of Isaac]

So I haven't been on Serenes Forest the last few days because of my situation, and our internet was down for a day and a half.

Normally I wouldn't talk about my personal life, but I have gone through tough shit these last few days. I'm 25, I have autism and trouble getting a job. We did found something to help me get experience and possibly a job that pays well, but it didn't work out well because of me being an idiot and not using the right words due to anxiety. Unfortunately, anxiety also caused me to lie to my father when he came to pick me up from work on my last day there. Once he found out, things weren't pretty. He overreacted, pushed me around, and even said stuff like giving me the black eye.

He also doesn't realize that I have anxiety and procrastination problems, but unfortunately he has this mindset of me thinking I act like some kind of kid who thinks everything is games, no matter how many times I tell him that isn't true, and saying the work was boring doesn't help. I also know how important work is, but my dad responded with "Now you do!" despite the fact I knew it for longer than he thinks I do. He even did an interpretation of me that's both insulting and disrespectful.

So now I am being punished to do work every weekday, whether it's yard work or survey's online. His attitude towards me has tone down though and even tone the punishment down. We are looking for ways for me to make a living, and I have a job interview on Wednesday. I know why he gave me this punishment, but I still feel he went overboard with it, and made my anxiety even worse. Talking to him has now become even more difficult for me. I even thought about leaving my home to not only make myself feel better, but be able to make my own life and career decisions, even if it means facing a difficult road ahead. I would hate to do it though, but the damage my dad did to me won't recover anytime soon.

What do you think and what should I do?

He is trying to motivate you to make a living and become an independent adult. It makes you feel anxious because you are comfortable moving at your own pace. He is probably frustrated because you sound somewhat lazy. I would recommend, as others have said, speaking with a licensed professional about your disorder. If you are really so badly off that you are incapable of getting a job because of anxiety, then they will prescribe you medication to function. At the same time, you should continue your search for a job.

[Augestein]

You should try getting a job that doesn't require a lot of communication. Try something like a warehouse or being a dishwasher at a restaurant. Heck, your local library could even have a page job, and that job doesn't require much communication. Heck, some even discourage you from talking ot others when doing it.

Your dad sounds like he's more frustrated with you than anything else. He's not handling your lack of initiative well, and honestly, neither are you. He can't make you do anything, but he can put some pressure on you to try to make you work harder. You need to explain to him that you can't spend all day doing chores or you can't search for a job and get an interview, but you need to honestly show proof that you are searching for a job. I understand that it's tough, but all that can be said is that you'll have to push through it. Especially if you don't have money.

[AnnetheCatDetective]

You should try getting a job that doesn't require a lot of communication. Try something like a warehouse or being a dishwasher at a restaurant. Heck, your local library could even have a page job, and that job doesn't require much communication. Heck, some even discourage you from talking ot others when doing it.

Your dad sounds like he's more frustrated with you than anything else. He's not handling your lack of initiative well, and honestly, neither are you. He can't make you do anything, but he can put some pressure on you to try to make you work harder. You need to explain to him that you can't spend all day doing chores or you can't search for a job and get an interview, but you need to honestly show proof that you are searching for a job. I understand that it's tough, but all that can be said is that you'll have to push through it. Especially if you don't have money.

Both the warehouse job and the dishwashing one could be sensory hell-- a professional kitchen is loud and chaotic enough for a neurotypical who isn't used to working in that environment, and even if the job you're doing isn't a high-pressure one, the environment sure is. It's kind of a terrible place to be for most people on the autism spectrum, I'm afraid. For many, sensory processing issues can be as bad or worse than communication.

The library is an ideal work environment for many because libraries tend to be quiet, and if there is a position available, that would be great, but sometimes the 'right' job just doesn't exist, or the right job exists, but it goes to someone who already has connections and experience. The job market and the ways in which people can go out and job-hunt has fundamentally changed over the years, and it can be really hard for anyone to navigate. This is why I'd suggested looking for an organization that specifically works to place disabled adults in the workforce, because they can help with the confusing aspects, can take into account which things would make working in a certain environment good or bad, and can provide the connections that so many of us lack, but that are so important.

Like, for me, I'm on disability right now because the jobs that there are in my area are jobs that I just can't do, the job hunt I went on was a source not only of anxiety but of frustration, and... well, some of the jobs that existed when I started were places that went out of business since anyway, but that also doesn't mean I plan on never working-- it just means that until I can find something that works for me, I'm not a financial drain on my family. And I think it's another great thing to look into and shouldn't be regarded with shame or seen as 'giving up', because sometimes you just need to have some financial security temporarily, but it doesn't mean you can't ever be employed and productive, if that's important to you. If going on disability doesn't work out, you can look into SNAP as a way of being able to contribute financially where food is concerned, but that wouldn't work as a path to independence since it can only pay for food, and can't help you move out.

Threatening your (adult) child with violence is never an okay way of trying to motivate you, and is one hundred percent not reasonable. It's reasonable to worry about an adult child without a job, it's reasonable to be frustrated, and it's reasonable to make mistakes in trying to handle the situation, but it is not reasonable to make physical threats.

[Original Alear]

I know you don't have money to see a professional, but didn't you say you haven't aged out of your dad's insuance yet? There would probably be a copay, but you should look into that. This may be something worth talking to your father about as well. This could help you get started now, and looking for services along the lines of what Augestein suggested might help you continue treatment in the future.

If you need to keep track of your job progress to show you are making applications, I recommend making a spreadsheet you can show to your dad. Honestly, you should probably do this anyway, because it'll let you keep track of job postings you've applied for, etc. If you don't have excel or something, google docs is free, and I think open office has a free spreadsheet program.

I know he and my family want to help me, but you shouldn't force your kid to get a certain job just because it pays a lot. You also shouldn't be a total asshole toward your kid if he/she doesn't want to do the job.

You probably do kinda need to get a job at some point soon. If you're having trouble finding something yourself, you should consider working someplace you're not that excited about until you can find something better - in fact, getting some more work experience could help you find something else. For my part, I probably wouldn't want to do a job at all if I could avoid it, but I'm still working. I don't know what kind of jobs your dad is trying to get you to do, and I'm not saying you should feel forced to do absolutely anything, but you should be willing to make some compromises, especially if you don't have too much work experience right now.

While I don't know too much about autism, that does seem to be a serious problem, so I understand you may need to work that out before you try your hand at something, especially something you're not enthusiastic about. And I also understand there might be things that autism makes difficult/impossible to work as. So I understand if you need to seek some treatment/advice from a professional first, or if the opportunities your dad is offering really aren't feasible.

[kcirrot]

OP, if you live in Illinois as your profile says, you probably have access to Medicaid for health insurance. You also possibly qualify for SSI benefits if your autism/anxiety is debilitating enough. I know not everyone wants to accept government help, but it's there for a reason.

I would look into resources here: http://www.autismillinois.org/resources/

They hopefully can put you in touch with some support. You don't need to feel ashamed of who you are or not being able to hold down a job. You probably just need some help, and we all need that sometimes.

[Augestein]

Both the warehouse job and the dishwashing one could be sensory hell-- a professional kitchen is loud and chaotic enough for a neurotypical who isn't used to working in that environment, and even if the job you're doing isn't a high-pressure one, the environment sure is. It's kind of a terrible place to be for most people on the autism spectrum, I'm afraid. For many, sensory processing issues can be as bad or worse than communication.

The library is an ideal work environment for many because libraries tend to be quiet, and if there is a position available, that would be great, but sometimes the 'right' job just doesn't exist, or the right job exists, but it goes to someone who already has connections and experience. The job market and the ways in which people can go out and job-hunt has fundamentally changed over the years, and it can be really hard for anyone to navigate. This is why I'd suggested looking for an organization that specifically works to place disabled adults in the workforce, because they can help with the confusing aspects, can take into account which things would make working in a certain environment good or bad, and can provide the connections that so many of us lack, but that are so important.

Like, for me, I'm on disability right now because the jobs that there are in my area are jobs that I just can't do, the job hunt I went on was a source not only of anxiety but of frustration, and... well, some of the jobs that existed when I started were places that went out of business since anyway, but that also doesn't mean I plan on never working-- it just means that until I can find something that works for me, I'm not a financial drain on my family. And I think it's another great thing to look into and shouldn't be regarded with shame or seen as 'giving up', because sometimes you just need to have some financial security temporarily, but it doesn't mean you can't ever be employed and productive, if that's important to you. If going on disability doesn't work out, you can look into SNAP as a way of being able to contribute financially where food is concerned, but that wouldn't work as a path to independence since it can only pay for food, and can't help you move out.

Threatening your (adult) child with violence is never an okay way of trying to motivate you, and is one hundred percent not reasonable. It's reasonable to worry about an adult child without a job, it's reasonable to be frustrated, and it's reasonable to make mistakes in trying to handle the situation, but it is not reasonable to make physical threats.

The thing is, is that whether you like it or not, a hellish job is better than no job. That's the issue. If the situation is that bad, you can't pick and choose your "ideal" job. You just need to find one first-- once you have one, then you can be a bit more picky about the next job(s), as you have some actual stability. With that, you can secure a more ideal job and with better pay to boot. It's kind of ugly, but that's simply what you're going to have to do. It's honestly part of being an adult-- putting up with tasks and things you may not want to in order to get things that you need to do. The only time to actually say "no dice" in a situation like that is when it's illegal or the job actually will kill you, or even if the job is too shady to seem profitable.

Sometimes it doesn't exist doesn't matter. Sometimes it does. When it comes to job hunting, you have to take a "nothing ventured, nothing gained" sort of stance. Otherwise you can't actually get a job if you never really TRY to get one. Saying what you're saying takes this distinctly disjointed thought process that I'm like... Not in the same plane of existence where I have to put up with the same aspects. An organization CAN help you, but most people don't really take note that these same organizations can HARM you if you don't know enough about them. I'm not saying "don't get help" but at the same time, a person isn't so powerless that they can't take their own initiative in small strides.

I'm not on disability for instance, but I accepted a job that I needed when I had a leg injury as well as a back injury from childhood traumas because I needed the money. The businesses I worked for, some died, some still live, and here I am at a job with a decent salary where I can easily take care of myself on my own with no assistance. And ironically enough, the job I got was through a phone call-- the job hunt was long and tedious, but eventually I got one. That's not to say everyone will, but... There's no reason to fret-- the problem anyone faces here is a common one, and things have a way of working out for everyone so long as society at least perceives effort. And exactly, jobs are really the only way to move towards helping-- even if your conditions can help in other ways, they don't generally cover enough. If you're with your family, you can at least do things like help around the house while you search for your job.

It's a hell of a lot better than just sending you a 90 days eviction notice and telling you to GTFO after 90 days with no real care in the world. Because a threat isn't actually carrying out the action, and a 90 days eviction notice you can't really do anything against. And I can understand the fear from a parent. Imagine if the parent were to simply die the next day. They have to pass on knowing that their child absolutely CANNOT take care of themselves. The frustration is understandable, because the father may also feel some self-loathing as well because he may be reflecting on what he's done wrong while raising the child. So it might not just be frustration at the OP, but himself as well.

[Miracle-Flora]

Ouchies! That sounds hard. I'm wanting a job to do in the summer, plus I do have autism as well. Also, I feel like what your dad did was a bit abusive. Maybe talk to him about it when he calms down.