maybe Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 I'm glad Dolph and Maccellan seems to have gotten a sequel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Into Oblivion Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 1 hour ago, Thane said: My face after reading a certain story and being blown away by the quality when compared to that of my own entry: I think I had that same look when I read Too Much Not Enough. Now, that was an amazing AU piece, and normally, I hate AUs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crushie Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Huge thanks to Tangerine and Jyosua for managing this contest despite your circumstances! It's always such a bliss seeing how creative a fanbase can be. Hope you guys are doing better now! And wow that Nyx sculpture is cool as hell and someone sure took their time to sculpt that butt ey . I am so astounded with the creativity and varying techniques of the entries in the gallery in general. Spoiler And man why do I always notice that I forgot to draw something in my pictures... damn. I looked over the damn thing so often and even asked some friends and nobody noticed I forgot to draw Setys and Furys lower half ;_; Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maybe Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 37 minutes ago, Crushie said: Huge thanks to Tangerine and Jyosua for managing this contest despite your circumstances! It's always such a bliss seeing how creative a fanbase can be. Hope you guys are doing better now! And wow that Nyx sculpture is cool as hell and someone sure took their time to sculpt that butt ey . I am so astounded with the creativity and varying techniques of the entries in the gallery in general. Hide contents And man why do I always notice that I forgot to draw something in my pictures... damn. I looked over the damn thing so often and even asked some friends and nobody noticed I forgot to draw Setys and Furys lower half ;_; while with fury I guess it's a bit noticable, I think sety still looks fine in your art for what it's worth, I really like it! I love the different expressions you gave to all the characters, it looks really nice i think it's also the only fe4 related draw, which I don't mind since it's a pretty damn good one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MageDragon Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 The visual works all look great! I feel a little embarrassed actually seeing mine oops. I haven't had time to read any of the written stuff, but I'm sure it'll all be a lovely read and a nice way to spend the weekend! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nym Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 Man, Too Much Not Enough, right in the feels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
False Prophet Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 (edited) Great! After waiting for so long, the gallery is finally up! Thank you for your effort, admins! On the other hand, seeing others' works actually make me doubting about my entry... Especially... Spoiler Dragonson. It must has taken a lot of of the authors, and his/her sheer effort alone makes me respect him/her. Edited March 24, 2017 by False Prophet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EllJee Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 Having now read several of the fanfic submissions, I have come to the conclusion that I absolutely made the right decision to submit something that wasn't a fanfic. Man, these things are blowing me out of the water. I'm going to try to have something constructive to say about every entry, but in lieu of that for now I just have to congratulate everyone here. These are awesome and I'm having a blast reading and viewing them all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunwoo Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 (edited) I really like Too Much Not Enough, Dragonson, and Cages of the fanfiction entries. My own entry really sucks, but I already knew that I wasn't going to do something emotional this year. I have this thing where I can read emotional stuff other people write, but if I write something then I can't read it afterwards because I always cringe at how bad I am at emotional stuff. I went in knowing that my story wasn't going to good but trying to get a laugh anyway. On drawings, I am definitely voting for that Alm and Celica one, absolutely no question about it. Everything else just seems to pale in comparison to that one, I'm not even familiar with Gaiden and I love it. Edited March 24, 2017 by Sunwoo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Into Oblivion Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 (edited) 2 hours ago, MageDragon said: The visual works all look great! I feel a little embarrassed actually seeing mine oops. I haven't had time to read any of the written stuff, but I'm sure it'll all be a lovely read and a nice way to spend the weekend! Well, you can skip mine, and I wouldn't blame you for it. Heck, I wrote it, and I'd skip it after seeing the other, more well-done entries. 1 hour ago, Nym said: Man, Too Much Not Enough, right in the feels. You're telling me. I'm leaning towards casting my vote for that one. 1 hour ago, False Prophet said: Great! After waiting for so long, the gallery is finally up! Thank you for your effort, admins! On the other hand, seeing others' works actually make me doubting about my entry... Especially... Reveal hidden contents Dragonson. It must has taken a lot of of the authors, and his/her sheer effort alone makes me respect him/her. I understand that. I'm really in doubt about mine. 48 minutes ago, EllJee said: Having now read several of the fanfic submissions, I have come to the conclusion that I absolutely made the right decision to submit something that wasn't a fanfic. Man, these things are blowing me out of the water. I'm going to try to have something constructive to say about every entry, but in lieu of that for now I just have to congratulate everyone here. These are awesome and I'm having a blast reading and viewing them all. I probably should have done the same as you, but fan fics are all I have. I can't draw, compose, or sew. Seeing a lot of these, I'm thinking I can't write either. :P 10 minutes ago, Sunwoo said: I really like Too Much Not Enough, Dragonson, and Cages of the fanfiction entries. My own entry really sucks, but I already knew that I wasn't going to do something emotional this year. I have this thing where I can read emotional stuff other people write, but if I write something then I can't read it afterwards because I always cringe at how bad I am at emotional stuff. I went in knowing that my story wasn't going to good but trying to get a laugh anyway. On drawings, I am definitely voting for that Alm and Celica one, absolutely no question about it. Everything else just seems to pale in comparison to that one, I'm not even familiar with Gaiden and I love it. Well, you and I can suck together then. Not sure which visual I'm voting for yet. There're so many good ones. Edited March 24, 2017 by TheFreelancerSeal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunwoo Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 (edited) Eh. I only entered this competition because I needed to write something to get me out of my writer's block. Again, it's not great but I am still pretty happy with it and I laughed a lot when I was writing it. I already knew I was putting myself at a disadvantage (in addition to not being the best at writing) by not going for a serious piece! Edited March 24, 2017 by Sunwoo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Into Oblivion Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 Kind of funny. I'm just now thinking of a piece that probably would have had a lot more punch to it. And it probably would have been better written too. Go figure. And hey, it's nice to meet a fellow sufferer of block. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 Scribbles came at a very busy time, so I'm just glad I put SOMETHING out there. Hardly my best, but I'd need a time machine for that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSilentChloey Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 11 minutes ago, eclipse said: Scribbles came at a very busy time, so I'm just glad I put SOMETHING out there. Hardly my best, but I'd need a time machine for that! I think we all do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 1 minute ago, TheSilentChloey said: I think we all do. Time machine: Totally Actually had the time to sit down and make something worthwhile - I wish I had the time for that! I just hope people enjoy my submission. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSilentChloey Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 1 minute ago, eclipse said: Time machine: Totally Actually had the time to sit down and make something worthwhile - I wish I had the time for that! I just hope people enjoy my submission. Hence why we need the time machine then we would have the time to do so Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 Got through a good chunk of the stories. I only have one public request: A Soulweaver's Journey - the size and font make it nigh-impossible for me to read. Can it be changed to something a bit bigger and less flowery? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jotari Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 A Soulweaver's Journey Spoiler Going to eco Eclipse on this one. The formatting on this one definitely needs fixing. Not only is the font to small and irregular but, at least on my browser, practically everything is on the one line making it a massive block of text rather a neat set of paragraphs. Anna's Surprise Spoiler A sweet little tale but honestly not all that surprising. In this case I think it could do with being a bit longer and getting into a formula. It sort of has one with the characters Robin meets but then it kind of comes to a close before it has a chance to really be engaging. I could imagine it as a nice picture book though. Also the red hair on Robin's face when he wakes up, is that his? I kind of thought it was Anna's going due to the title but then she's presented as being there suddenly. Kind of weird given how no other characters get any physical descriptions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wist Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 (edited) Just finished reading all the Writes. My memory is awful, so I wrote summaries to remind me what each story was about. Thought others might find them useful for reference? If not, just ignore them. I'm mostly going to avoid making substantive criticisms or suggestions. But I distilled some of the questions and (the mostly positive/encouraging) thoughts I jotted down while reading. SPOILERS AHOY! A Greater Cause Summary Lucia is practicing swordplay when Master Garloche gives her a real sword and commands her to kill a boar. She hesitates, but ends up disemboweling the boar in anger. Though Master Garloche praises her, she flees to her room in disgust. There, her father reminds her she studies swordplay not to kill but to protect Elincia in defense of "a cause worth dying for". Thoughts Lucia, Master Garloche, and even Count Delbray came across as having distinct voices, motivations, and backgrounds. That's no mean feat for such a brief story. Though I fear I misunderstood the scene with the boar though. Did Lucia attack so viciously because she's seeing the boar as a substitute for the jeering students who have so little confidence in her? A Shiver From Beyond Summary Canas and his wife Tali climb a mysterious mountain to confirm the existence of a magic shrine. Upon discovering it's a tomb, Canas tries to commune with the 'demon' on the other side. Their guide, Volf, warns a snowstorm will trigger an avalanche that will destroy the town their son is in. Canas trades his life to the demon so he and Tali can stop the storm. Thoughts Perhaps I misread him, but I wasn't convinced by Volf casually recognizing the storm as a once in a few centuries event. He seemed bizarrely cavalier about the whole situation. That aside, the premise was solid and Canas's personality came through clearly. I was impressed with some of the imagery, such as the endless library at the beginning and what Canas experiences as he struggles to endure the demon. A Soulweaver's Journey Summary With his knowledge of the three Fates routes, Arilon (as Corrin) negotiates the formation of a joint-Nohrian/Hoshidan splinter group. They leave the two armies, which are on the verge of battle, and enter Valla, a mythical kingdom at the bottom of the Bottomless Canyon. They continue onward, seeking a way to combat the third party pushing their own two kingdoms to war. Thoughts What a fascinating combination of theorycraft, self-aware stream of consciousness, and first person narration. I only wish the formatting were friendlier to wide screens. And unfortunately Birthright is the only Fates game I've played, so I don't know what were and weren't new ideas. I think some interactions were more credible than others. Though it was curious watching characters being manipulated into engaging in such uncertain tactical negotiation. Shame the story was cut short (presumably due to time constraints?). Anna's Surprise Summary Anna steals Robin's clothes, forcing him to chase after her through the camp. He suspects something is off when Chrom lends his own clothes and they fit perfectly. But he continues tracking Anna until she leads him to a tent where a surprise birthday party awaits him. Thoughts This isn't the most thought provoking story I've ever read. But it succeeds at being silly and fun (as obviously it's meant to be). Azel's Epilogue (Chapter 1 | Chapter 2) Summary Azel and his son Arthur make their way to Velthomer for Arthur's ascension. Azel dreams of events before his magic induced sleep. The memories continue welling up as he struggles to cope with how Velthomer changed in his absence. He ends up offering to free Arthur and his fiancee Fee from the responsibilities of Dukedom, going so far as to force a duel to settle the matter. Thoughts I'm only vaguely acquainted with the Jugdral characters (embarrassingly I've yet to beat either game). But I found this an insightful look into Azel's confused mind. I love how even though we're watching him so closely, even spying on his dreams, and we can only guess at what he's really thinking. Battle of Alucia Summary After Rezzy stands up to Lord Daniel for being weak on pillaging bandits, Chloey forms a squad to defend the town. One recruit, Nym, discovers the bandits have been wiped out by two magic-wielding maids. Chloey's army arrives to battle the maids, but they teleport to safety. Thoughts I found this story funny but slightly confusing. I was surprised the food-starved villagers were throwing tomatoes instead of rocks. And I suspect there are in-jokes I'm not getting (got the Mulan reference at least). Is the story meant to continue? I'm curious what was up with the maids. Though maybe I'm just dense and that was hinted at by the threat alluded to at the end? Beyond the Horizon Summary Canas is studying an old wizard's notes when Nino shows up convinced her mother is out in the snowstorm. They search for her and discover it's Canas's wife, and she's been possessed by something. Canas forsakes his intellectual pursuits in a desperate effort to free her from the possession. Thoughts Eh. I participated. Can't believe I introduced multiple typos in my last minute fix-ups last month. There's a lot I could have done more clearly (kicking myself for following a stupid convention and not capitalizing the wife's pet name). And Nino really deserves something resembling a personality. But reading it again, it was fun noticing the similarities between this and A Shiver From Beyond. Cages Summary Flora miserably prepares for Corrin's birthday party as she laments the lack of autonomy and respect afforded her. As her frustration grows, her ice powers act up and disrupt the party. Xander confronts her, and subsequently makes a token effort to help her clean while reminding her that his family too lack control over their lives. Thoughts I love how this piece addressed the topics of servitude, respect, and objectification. And the scattered bits of humor fit in nicely! The narration was pleasantly consistent too: firmly and clearly from inside Flora's head. Though I couldn't help noticing the story was sometimes a bit descriptively obvious. I'm not sure how to describe it, but sometimes it felt like the author didn't trust the reader to pick up things. Just one example: "...but Flora didn’t want to be a part of a set; she wanted to be her own person" essentially repeats the same thing twice, and it feels like overly exacting clarification rather than stylistic repetition. But I'm nitpicking; it doesn't hurt the story at all, and maybe others disagree with me; I just don't think it was strictly necessary. Dragonson Summary Lilina and Lord Eliwood try to help Roy revert to normal after he begins transforming into a dragon. Lilina asks Sophia for help while Eliwood stalls Queen Guinevere of Bern whom Roy is due to welcome to Pherae. Sophia helps Roy understand the nature of his condition and seal his powers in his mother's dragonstone. Upon Queen Guinevere's entry, he embraces his birthright and rights a historical wrong. Thoughts You know the feeling when overwhelming awe at the intricacies that led up to the big reveal in a complicated book or movie hits you right in the gut? I got that awe three pages in just from the writing style. The last time that happened was when I read the Gormenghast series. There were a couple extraordinarily minor items I'd have handled differently. But reading this piece was an absolute joy. Both the writing and the story were masterful. Thank you for sharing your work. Fairy Tale Ending Summary A once lost princess has been learning to navigate court life with her new husband. She realizes this isn't the life she wants. But her regrets have come too late. She feels trapped by what should be a "fairy tale ending". Thoughts I'm confused about the princess's internal conflict over having married her "prince charming" rather than her "knight in shining armor". I have a few hypotheses, but I'm not sure if any are right. This is entirely my fault for never finishing FE4. So I'm going to revisit this piece later. The premise is lovely (and sad), and I'm eager to reread it once I've more thoroughly acquaint myself with the lore and characters of the Jugdral games. FE7 Epic Summary Eliwood and Hector march towards Caelin where, unbeknownst to them, Lyn has just been routed by Darin's forces. Lyn's pegasus knight friend Florina flies for help and spots Eliwood's company. She asks for help and Eliwood prepares to retake Castle Caelin. Thoughts I love this. It's brilliant! Why has no one mentioned it yet?! I never studied classics, but I picked up on a pleasing consistency of meter, language, and description throughout the entire piece. Though I have to ask, how long did this take to write?! Fire Emblem Echoes of Time Summary Chiki (Tiki) waits to hear back from an infiltration team trying to recover her stolen diamond. Meanwhile, the team is attacked by cyborgs. They manage to defeat the cyborgs and reclaim the diamond. Thoughts This was undoubtedly one of the more inventive settings. Unfortunately I think it suffers from slightly too much authoritative description. Just one example: "...she thought as she struggled not to lose consciousness" is plain and direct, whereas "...she thought, her vision blurring as the pain threatened to overwhelm her" would have implied the same situation in perhaps a slightly more compelling way. I think tiny tweaks like that would make the writing much stronger! Fire Emblem Generations Summary Hector arrives in Pherae to celebrate the approaching birth of Eliwood's child. That evening, portals open in the sky, dropping monsters and a red-haired boy. Hector and Eliwood charge off to fight the monsters. The boy, named Roy, follows. Thoughts This feels like a teaser from a larger story. It leaves me curious why the portals appeared and how Eliwood and Roy will interact. In the beginning, I think some of the dialogue could have been more convincing. For example: "Still as shy around men as ever, huh?" felt a bit forward and crass for Eliwood. But maybe that's just me. Grief and Resolve Summary While Mozu is reflecting on her mother's death earlier that day, a monster attacks her. Fortunately, she's saved by a swordsman. She subsequently resolves to avenger her family and town by fighting the monsters. Thoughts An interesting peek inside Mozu's head at the time of her recruitment. Hatari Investigations – An Interactive Adventure Summary Volug and Tauroneo enter Hatari and become private investigators. Depending on your choices, they investigate an armor counterfeiting ring at a floating hotel or the mysterious disappearance of Queen Nailah. Thoughts This was... stupid. But I enjoyed the hell out of it! It was hilarious despite (or maybe because of?) the plethora of well incorporated in-series jokes and critiques. Tauroneo's confusion over his lance failing to magically reappear and a slant against the casualization of the series spring to mind. I kept a chart to make sure I made it through every path. Honestly, I thought I wouldn't like it, but I really enjoyed reading and navigating the whole story. Historian of Johanna Summary A farmer girl, Ada, dreams of being a lord, and wants to enter a sword-fighting competition as an excuse to travel. Alexi shows up and presents her with Eirika's blade. They begin a journey to the capital that will someday lead to Ada becoming a historian of Johanna. Thoughts I'm undecided on how to approach this one. There are no significant conflicts, so it reads like a wish fulfillment fantasy. This makes it rather unlike most of the other stories. Are these established characters from somewhere, or are they unique just to this story? I’d Do Anything Summary Kana's father bandages Kana's leg after she's injured in the Deeprealm. Suddenly, he is then attacked by an outlaw, whom he kills with great regret. He then reveals he feels worthless as a leader who can't actually stomach killing, but his Hoshidan allies rally around him in support. Thoughts Exploring the cognitive dissonance of a respected military leader who is morally and emotionally opposed to killing people is a great idea. I think the games overlook this topic, even when they try to mention it. But personally, I think this story doesn't quite make it yet. The framework is there, but the situations and dialogue feel a little contrived. Why is a random outlaw arbitrarily trying to kill the protagonist? Why is he more upset at having killed the attacker than his home and family having suddenly been thrust into mortal danger? I think exploring these questions, or at least acknowledging them, would go a long way toward bolstering the credibility of the story. In His Lonely Footsteps Summary The protagonist uses Samto as a crutch for remembering Navarre. But she knew the real Navarre well enough that illusion never lasts for long. Samto confides he uses her too. He feels trapped believing the world needs him to be Navarre, but she reminds him he's not just a copycat. Thoughts For some reason I didn't take to this story the first time I read it. But I think I was just being dense. It really clicked the second time! The more I think about it the more wonderful I think it is. No Longer Human Summary Zihark is lamenting the advancement of Daein occupation when a boy trying to hire a mercenary reminds him of his training. A conflict between himself, his secretly laguz teacher Moto, and laguz hunters, results in him rescuing a laguz girl. They fall in love, but she is soon felled by Daein soldiers. In the present, Zihark's curiosity is piqued when he notices the boy from before helping a cornered laguz in the street escape. Thoughts I was initially confused about the progress of time. But everything snapped into place when I finally realized the entire middle section was a series of flashbacks. I wasn't fond of some of the exposition dumps. I think Kitra's introductory monologue on being a servant was a bit long for example. But overall this was a solid piece. Pray to the Dark Summary A series of vignettes showing the emotional difficulties the Nohrian nobles faced seeking validation from their parents. This includes Elise being rejected by her mother, Camilla having to assassinate a half-sister, and Leo feeling inferior to Xander, among others. Thoughts Poor Elise! I feel awful for her! Though some of the stories seemed to contradict each other. Why are Corrin and Kamui in a dungeon? Who does Camilla kill for her mother? Perhaps I'm just confused because I haven't finished the Fates games yet. I'm going to read up on them thoroughly this week before rereading this piece. The Kindling of a Flame Summary Petrine, an accomplished hunter, expresses a desire to join Daein's army. Shortly thereafter, her laguz father Alexei returns home with a posse of laguz. Enraged, he tries to kill her to "get his claws back" and become whole. After Petrine single-handedly defeats them, she is recovered by Ashnard and the Black Knight. Thoughts I liked the concept. But I didn't understand why Alexei thought killing Petrine would achieve anything. That's the one thing that makes me hesitant about this story. Alexei's ambush was so sudden and random. With no indications of prior malice, I'm left wondering what could possibly have been going through his head. The Path of Conquest and Dragon Pokemon Summary Corrin and Azura inexplicably turn into Salamence and Altaria. No one acknowledges the transformations, though Salamence wreaks havoc before being brought back to Castle Krakenberg. He kill Garon, which upsets his siblings. But all is forgiven after he and Altaria defeat Anankos. Thoughts I don't know what I expected but it wasn't this. Edit: Just noticed this comes across negatively which wasn't my intention. Obviously this story was written to be over-the-top silly. I found the Nohrian siblings' reaction to Salamence taking a bite out of Garon particularly funny. The Prince of Verdane Summary Seliph's liberation army and Prince Cimbaeth's forces defeat Beige Ritter's army together. Cimbaeth explains why they should see the Loptyrian Sect as their common enemy and they join forces. After many battles, they march on Belhalla where Cimbaeth tries to kill Prince Julius. Thoughts Cimbaeth's expositionary speech takes up half the story. Personally, I thought the detail in his speech was a little excessive, though it is successful at laying out the development of Cimbaeth position on things since King Batur's death. I'm sorry to admit I not the kind of person who's generally smitten by lore/world-building. The Value of Refuse Summary Renault confronts Nergal over his treatment of morphs as tools. Nergal decides to treat Renault worse, 'resurrecting' his friend and leaving him alive to suffer his anguish. Limstella meanwhile thinks over how best she can serve Nergal. Thoughts I always assumed Limstella was a more recent morph, but I may be mistaken as I'm not sure that was ever explicitly clarified.. In any case, it was neat reading a Fire Emblem inspired play script. And I liked that you gave a peak into Limstella's (admittedly predictable) head. I had never considered how a morph (aside from Sonia) might think. Too Much Not Enough Summary Eliwood is constantly on the lookout for ways to extend Ninian's life. Eventually, he uses a spell that trades his life for hers. Ninian is devastated. All she wanted was to live with Eliwood. But eventually she finds joy in raising their son Roy. Thoughts Ninian didn't really come across as having a personality beyond her love for Eliwood. But I suppose that's not too important here, and I felt for her regardless. Having traded away her immortality to live with Eliwood only to feel forced to live without him so as not to disrespect his sacrifice was a cruel but fascinating twist. And it's effective because I think it's a very credible interpretation of how Eliwood could have acted. Edited March 25, 2017 by Wist Fixed summary for "The Kindling of a Flame" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangerine Posted March 24, 2017 Author Share Posted March 24, 2017 (edited) Oh and special thanks to @Wist and our friends at the Tanooki @christianponte for donating to our prize budget! It's unlikely we'd have been able to fill it out so well without their help, and they're not even a part of our staff, so it was especially kind of them. Our SF/Tanooki FE podcast is still in the works as well; we're aiming pretty high with it as far as partnerships and guests go (including content the creative side of the FE community will enjoy!), so it's taking time to get everything put into place. Hopefully we can deliver something that you guys will be eager to tune into every week! Edited March 24, 2017 by Tangerine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nym Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 (edited) 18 hours ago, Wist said: Just finished reading all the Writes. My memory is awful, so I wrote summaries to remind me what each story was about. Thought others might find them useful for reference? If not, just ignore them. I'm mostly going to avoid making substantive criticisms or suggestions. But I distilled some of the questions and (the mostly positive/encouraging) thoughts I jotted down while reading. SPOILERS AHOY! Reveal hidden contents A Greater Cause Summary Reveal hidden contents Lucia is practicing swordplay when Master Garloche gives her a real sword and commands her to kill a boar. She hesitates, but ends up disemboweling the boar in anger. Though Master Garloche praises her, she flees to her room in disgust. There, her father reminds her she studies swordplay not to kill but to protect Elincia in defense of "a cause worth dying for". Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Lucia, Master Garloche, and even Count Delbray came across as having distinct voices, motivations, and backgrounds. That's no mean feat for such a brief story. Though I fear I misunderstood the scene with the boar though. Did Lucia attack so viciously because she's seeing the boar as a substitute for the jeering students who have so little confidence in her? A Shiver From Beyond Summary Reveal hidden contents Canas and his wife Tali climb a mysterious mountain to confirm the existence of a magic shrine. Upon discovering it's a tomb, Canas tries to commune with the 'demon' on the other side. Their guide, Volf, warns a snowstorm will trigger an avalanche that will destroy the town their son is in. Canas trades his life to the demon so he and Tali can stop the storm. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Perhaps I misread him, but I wasn't convinced by Volf casually recognizing the storm as a once in a few centuries event. He seemed bizarrely cavalier about the whole situation. That aside, the premise was solid and Canas's personality came through clearly. I was impressed with some of the imagery, such as the endless library at the beginning and what Canas experiences as he struggles to endure the demon. A Soulweaver's Journey Summary Reveal hidden contents With his knowledge of the three Fates routes, Arilon (as Corrin) negotiates the formation of a joint-Nohrian/Hoshidan splinter group. They leave the two armies, which are on the verge of battle, and enter Valla, a mythical kingdom at the bottom of the Bottomless Canyon. They continue onward, seeking a way to combat the third party pushing their own two kingdoms to war. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents What a fascinating combination of theorycraft, self-aware stream of consciousness, and first person narration. I only wish the formatting were friendlier to wide screens. And unfortunately Birthright is the only Fates game I've played, so I don't know what were and weren't new ideas. I think some interactions were more credible than others. Though it was curious watching characters being manipulated into engaging in such uncertain tactical negotiation. Shame the story was cut short (presumably due to time constraints?). Anna's Surprise Summary Reveal hidden contents Anna steals Robin's clothes, forcing him to chase after her through the camp. He suspects something is off when Chrom lends his own clothes and they fit perfectly. But he continues tracking Anna until she leads him to a tent where a surprise birthday party awaits him. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents This isn't the most thought provoking story I've ever read. But it succeeds at being silly and fun (as obviously it's meant to be). Azel's Epilogue (Chapter 1 | Chapter 2) Summary Reveal hidden contents Azel and his son Arthur make their way to Velthomer for Arthur's ascension. Azel dreams of events before his magic induced sleep. The memories continue welling up as he struggles to cope with how Velthomer changed in his absence. He ends up offering to free Arthur and his fiancee Fee from the responsibilities of Dukedom, going so far as to force a duel to settle the matter. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I'm only vaguely acquainted with the Jugdral characters (embarrassingly I've yet to beat either game). But I found this an insightful look into Azel's confused mind. I love how even though we're watching him so closely, even spying on his dreams, and we can only guess at what he's really thinking. Battle of Alucia Summary Reveal hidden contents After Rezzy stands up to Lord Daniel for being weak on pillaging bandits, Chloey forms a squad to defend the town. One recruit, Nym, discovers the bandits have been wiped out by two magic-wielding maids. Chloey's army arrives to battle the maids, but they teleport to safety. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I found this story funny but slightly confusing. I was surprised the food-starved villagers were throwing tomatoes instead of rocks. And I suspect there are in-jokes I'm not getting (got the Mulan reference at least). Is the story meant to continue? I'm curious what was up with the maids. Though maybe I'm just dense and that was hinted at by the threat alluded to at the end? Beyond the Horizon Summary Reveal hidden contents Canas is studying an old wizard's notes when Nino shows up convinced her mother is out in the snowstorm. They search for her and discover it's Canas's wife, and she's been possessed by something. Canas forsakes his intellectual pursuits in a desperate effort to free her from the possession. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Eh. I participated. Can't believe I introduced multiple typos in my last minute fix-ups last month. There's a lot I could have done more clearly (kicking myself for following a stupid convention and not capitalizing the wife's pet name). And Nino really deserves something resembling a personality. But reading it again, it was fun noticing the similarities between this and A Shiver From Beyond. Cages Summary Reveal hidden contents Flora miserably prepares for Corrin's birthday party as she laments the lack of autonomy and respect afforded her. As her frustration grows, her ice powers act up and disrupt the party. Xander confronts her, and subsequently makes a token effort to help her clean while reminding her that his family too lack control over their lives. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I love how this piece addressed the topics of servitude, respect, and objectification. And the scattered bits of humor fit in nicely! The narration was pleasantly consistent too: firmly and clearly from inside Flora's head. Though I couldn't help noticing the story was sometimes a bit descriptively obvious. I'm not sure how to describe it, but sometimes it felt like the author didn't trust the reader to pick up things. Just one example: "...but Flora didn’t want to be a part of a set; she wanted to be her own person" essentially repeats the same thing twice, and it feels like overly exacting clarification rather than stylistic repetition. But I'm nitpicking; it doesn't hurt the story at all, and maybe others disagree with me; I just don't think it was strictly necessary. Dragonson Summary Reveal hidden contents Lilina and Lord Eliwood try to help Roy revert to normal after he begins transforming into a dragon. Lilina asks Sophia for help while Eliwood stalls Queen Guinevere of Bern whom Roy is due to welcome to Pherae. Sophia helps Roy understand the nature of his condition and seal his powers in his mother's dragonstone. Upon Queen Guinevere's entry, he embraces his birthright and rights a historical wrong. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents You know the feeling when overwhelming awe at the intricacies that led up to the big reveal in a complicated book or movie hits you right in the gut? I got that awe three pages in just from the writing style. The last time that happened was when I read the Gormenghast series. There were a couple extraordinarily minor items I'd have handled differently. But reading this piece was an absolute joy. Both the writing and the story were masterful. Thank you for sharing your work. Fairy Tale Ending Summary Reveal hidden contents A once lost princess has been learning to navigate court life with her new husband. She realizes this isn't the life she wants. But her regrets have come too late. She feels trapped by what should be a "fairy tale ending". Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I'm confused about the princess's internal conflict over having married her "prince charming" rather than her "knight in shining armor". I have a few hypotheses, but I'm not sure if any are right. This is entirely my fault for never finishing FE4. So I'm going to revisit this piece later. The premise is lovely (and sad), and I'm eager to reread it once I've more thoroughly acquaint myself with the lore and characters of the Jugdral games. FE7 Epic Summary Reveal hidden contents Eliwood and Hector march towards Caelin where, unbeknownst to them, Lyn has just been routed by Darin's forces. Lyn's pegasus knight friend Florina flies for help and spots Eliwood's company. She asks for help and Eliwood prepares to retake Castle Caelin. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I love this. It's brilliant! Why has no one mentioned it yet?! I never studied classics, but I picked up on a pleasing consistency of meter, language, and description throughout the entire piece. Though I have to ask, how long did this take to write?! Fire Emblem Echoes of Time Summary Reveal hidden contents Chiki (Tiki) waits to hear back from an infiltration team trying to recover her stolen diamond. Meanwhile, the team is attacked by cyborgs. They manage to defeat the cyborgs and reclaim the diamond. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents This was undoubtedly one of the more inventive settings. Unfortunately I think it suffers from slightly too much authoritative description. Just one example: "...she thought as she struggled not to lose consciousness" is plain and direct, whereas "...she thought, her vision blurring as the pain threatened to overwhelm her" would have implied the same situation in perhaps a slightly more compelling way. I think tiny tweaks like that would make the writing much stronger! Fire Emblem Generations Summary Reveal hidden contents Hector arrives in Pherae to celebrate the approaching birth of Eliwood's child. That evening, portals open in the sky, dropping monsters and a red-haired boy. Hector and Eliwood charge off to fight the monsters. The boy, named Roy, follows. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents This feels like a teaser from a larger story. It leaves me curious why the portals appeared and how Eliwood and Roy will interact. In the beginning, I think some of the dialogue could have been more convincing. For example: "Still as shy around men as ever, huh?" felt a bit forward and crass for Eliwood. But maybe that's just me. Grief and Resolve Summary Reveal hidden contents While Mozu is reflecting on her mother's death earlier that day, a monster attacks her. Fortunately, she's saved by a swordsman. She subsequently resolves to avenger her family and town by fighting the monsters. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents An interesting peek inside Mozu's head at the time of her recruitment. Hatari Investigations – An Interactive Adventure Summary Reveal hidden contents Volug and Tauroneo enter Hatari and become private investigators. Depending on your choices, they investigate an armor counterfeiting ring at a floating hotel or the mysterious disappearance of Queen Nailah. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents This was... stupid. But I enjoyed the hell out of it! It was hilarious despite (or maybe because of?) the plethora of well incorporated in-series jokes and critiques. Tauroneo's confusion over his lance failing to magically reappear and a slant against the casualization of the series spring to mind. I kept a chart to make sure I made it through every path. Honestly, I thought I wouldn't like it, but I really enjoyed reading and navigating the whole story. Historian of Johanna Summary Reveal hidden contents A farmer girl, Ada, dreams of being a lord, and wants to enter a sword-fighting competition as an excuse to travel. Alexi shows up and presents her with Eirika's blade. They begin a journey to the capital that will someday lead to Ada becoming a historian of Johanna. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I'm undecided on how to approach this one. There are no significant conflicts, so it reads like a wish fulfillment fantasy. This makes it rather unlike most of the other stories. Are these established characters from somewhere, or are they unique just to this story? I’d Do Anything Summary Reveal hidden contents Kana's father bandages Kana's leg after she's injured in the Deeprealm. Suddenly, he is then attacked by an outlaw, whom he kills with great regret. He then reveals he feels worthless as a leader who can't actually stomach killing, but his Hoshidan allies rally around him in support. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Exploring the cognitive dissonance of a respected military leader who is morally and emotionally opposed to killing people is a great idea. I think the games overlook this topic, even when they try to mention it. But personally, I think this story doesn't quite make it yet. The framework is there, but the situations and dialogue feel a little contrived. Why is a random outlaw arbitrarily trying to kill the protagonist? Why is he more upset at having killed the attacker than his home and family having suddenly been thrust into mortal danger? I think exploring these questions, or at least acknowledging them, would go a long way toward bolstering the credibility of the story. In His Lonely Footsteps Summary Reveal hidden contents The protagonist uses Samto as a crutch for remembering Navarre. But she knew the real Navarre well enough that illusion never lasts for long. Samto confides he uses her too. He feels trapped believing the world needs him to be Navarre, but she reminds him he's not just a copycat. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents For some reason I didn't take to this story the first time I read it. But I think I was just being dense. It really clicked the second time! The more I think about it the more wonderful I think it is. No Longer Human Summary Reveal hidden contents Zihark is lamenting the advancement of Daein occupation when a boy trying to hire a mercenary reminds him of his training. A conflict between himself, his secretly laguz teacher Moto, and laguz hunters, results in him rescuing a laguz girl. They fall in love, but she is soon felled by Daein soldiers. In the present, Zihark's curiosity is piqued when he notices the boy from before helping a cornered laguz in the street escape. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I was initially confused about the progress of time. But everything snapped into place when I finally realized the entire middle section was a series of flashbacks. I wasn't fond of some of the exposition dumps. I think Kitra's introductory monologue on being a servant was a bit long for example. But overall this was a solid piece. Pray to the Dark Summary Reveal hidden contents A series of vignettes showing the emotional difficulties the Nohrian nobles faced seeking validation from their parents. This includes Elise being rejected by her mother, Camilla having to assassinate a half-sister, and Leo feeling inferior to Xander, among others. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Poor Elise! I feel awful for her! Though some of the stories seemed to contradict each other. Why are Corrin and Kamui in a dungeon? Who does Camilla kill for her mother? Perhaps I'm just confused because I haven't finished the Fates games yet. I'm going to read up on them thoroughly this week before rereading this piece. The Kindling of a Flame Summary Reveal hidden contents Petrine, an accomplished hunter, wants to join Daein's army. Alexei, her (adoptive?) father, comes home with a posse of laguz. He tries to kill her to "get his claws back" and become whole. Petrine single-handedly defeats them and is recruited by Ashnard and the Black Knight. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I liked the concept. But I didn't understand why Alexei thought killing Petrine would achieve anything. That's the one thing that makes me hesitant about this story. Alexei's ambush was so sudden and random. With no indications of prior malice, I'm left wondering what could possibly have been going through his head. The Path of Conquest and Dragon Pokemon Summary Reveal hidden contents Corrin and Azura inexplicably turn into Salamence and Altaria. No one acknowledges the transformations, though Salamence wreaks havoc before being brought back to Castle Krakenberg. He kill Garon, which upsets his siblings. But all is forgiven after he and Altaria defeat Anankos. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I don't know what I expected but it wasn't this. The Prince of Verdane Summary Reveal hidden contents Seliph's liberation army and Prince Cimbaeth's forces defeat Beige Ritter's army together. Cimbaeth explains why they should see the Loptyrian Sect as their common enemy and they join forces. After many battles, they march on Belhalla where Cimbaeth tries to kill Prince Julius. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Cimbaeth's expositionary speech takes up half the story. Personally, I thought the detail in his speech was a little excessive, though it is successful at laying out the development of Cimbaeth position on things since King Batur's death. I'm sorry to admit I not the kind of person who's generally smitten by lore/world-building. The Value of Refuse Summary Reveal hidden contents Renault confronts Nergal over his treatment of morphs as tools. Nergal decides to treat Renault worse, 'resurrecting' his friend and leaving him alive to suffer his anguish. Limstella meanwhile thinks over how best she can serve Nergal. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I always assumed Limstella was a more recent morph, but I may be mistaken as I'm not sure that was ever explicitly clarified.. In any case, it was neat reading a Fire Emblem inspired play script. And I liked that you gave a peak into Limstella's (admittedly predictable) head. I had never considered how a morph (aside from Sonia) might think. Too Much Not Enough Summary Reveal hidden contents Eliwood is constantly on the lookout for ways to extend Ninian's life. Eventually, he uses a spell that trades his life for hers. Ninian is devastated. All she wanted was to live with Eliwood. But eventually she finds joy in raising their son Roy. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Ninian didn't really come across as having a personality beyond her love for Eliwood. But I suppose that's not too important here, and I felt for her regardless. Having traded away her immortality to live with Eliwood only to feel forced to live without him so as not to disrespect his sacrifice was a cruel but fascinating twist. And it's effective because I think it's a very credible interpretation of how Eliwood could have acted. Spoiler For my story, the brigands are using the townpeoples as a way to get free food and cash. The town has enough food to feed itself, just not enough to sell them to marchands that are not from the town. Basically, the bandits took most of the town's income while making sure tha the population doesn't die of starving. Yes I'll continue the story as a serie, but not now because I want feedback. I'll probably also post all the references here after the vote probably. Edited March 25, 2017 by Nym Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jotari Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 (edited) 6 hours ago, Wist said: Just finished reading all the Writes. My memory is awful, so I wrote summaries to remind me what each story was about. Thought others might find them useful for reference? If not, just ignore them. I'm mostly going to avoid making substantive criticisms or suggestions. But I distilled some of the questions and (the mostly positive/encouraging) thoughts I jotted down while reading. SPOILERS AHOY! Reveal hidden contents A Greater Cause Summary Reveal hidden contents Lucia is practicing swordplay when Master Garloche gives her a real sword and commands her to kill a boar. She hesitates, but ends up disemboweling the boar in anger. Though Master Garloche praises her, she flees to her room in disgust. There, her father reminds her she studies swordplay not to kill but to protect Elincia in defense of "a cause worth dying for". Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Lucia, Master Garloche, and even Count Delbray came across as having distinct voices, motivations, and backgrounds. That's no mean feat for such a brief story. Though I fear I misunderstood the scene with the boar though. Did Lucia attack so viciously because she's seeing the boar as a substitute for the jeering students who have so little confidence in her? A Shiver From Beyond Summary Reveal hidden contents Canas and his wife Tali climb a mysterious mountain to confirm the existence of a magic shrine. Upon discovering it's a tomb, Canas tries to commune with the 'demon' on the other side. Their guide, Volf, warns a snowstorm will trigger an avalanche that will destroy the town their son is in. Canas trades his life to the demon so he and Tali can stop the storm. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Perhaps I misread him, but I wasn't convinced by Volf casually recognizing the storm as a once in a few centuries event. He seemed bizarrely cavalier about the whole situation. That aside, the premise was solid and Canas's personality came through clearly. I was impressed with some of the imagery, such as the endless library at the beginning and what Canas experiences as he struggles to endure the demon. A Soulweaver's Journey Summary Reveal hidden contents With his knowledge of the three Fates routes, Arilon (as Corrin) negotiates the formation of a joint-Nohrian/Hoshidan splinter group. They leave the two armies, which are on the verge of battle, and enter Valla, a mythical kingdom at the bottom of the Bottomless Canyon. They continue onward, seeking a way to combat the third party pushing their own two kingdoms to war. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents What a fascinating combination of theorycraft, self-aware stream of consciousness, and first person narration. I only wish the formatting were friendlier to wide screens. And unfortunately Birthright is the only Fates game I've played, so I don't know what were and weren't new ideas. I think some interactions were more credible than others. Though it was curious watching characters being manipulated into engaging in such uncertain tactical negotiation. Shame the story was cut short (presumably due to time constraints?). Anna's Surprise Summary Reveal hidden contents Anna steals Robin's clothes, forcing him to chase after her through the camp. He suspects something is off when Chrom lends his own clothes and they fit perfectly. But he continues tracking Anna until she leads him to a tent where a surprise birthday party awaits him. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents This isn't the most thought provoking story I've ever read. But it succeeds at being silly and fun (as obviously it's meant to be). Azel's Epilogue (Chapter 1 | Chapter 2) Summary Reveal hidden contents Azel and his son Arthur make their way to Velthomer for Arthur's ascension. Azel dreams of events before his magic induced sleep. The memories continue welling up as he struggles to cope with how Velthomer changed in his absence. He ends up offering to free Arthur and his fiancee Fee from the responsibilities of Dukedom, going so far as to force a duel to settle the matter. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I'm only vaguely acquainted with the Jugdral characters (embarrassingly I've yet to beat either game). But I found this an insightful look into Azel's confused mind. I love how even though we're watching him so closely, even spying on his dreams, and we can only guess at what he's really thinking. Battle of Alucia Summary Reveal hidden contents After Rezzy stands up to Lord Daniel for being weak on pillaging bandits, Chloey forms a squad to defend the town. One recruit, Nym, discovers the bandits have been wiped out by two magic-wielding maids. Chloey's army arrives to battle the maids, but they teleport to safety. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I found this story funny but slightly confusing. I was surprised the food-starved villagers were throwing tomatoes instead of rocks. And I suspect there are in-jokes I'm not getting (got the Mulan reference at least). Is the story meant to continue? I'm curious what was up with the maids. Though maybe I'm just dense and that was hinted at by the threat alluded to at the end? Beyond the Horizon Summary Reveal hidden contents Canas is studying an old wizard's notes when Nino shows up convinced her mother is out in the snowstorm. They search for her and discover it's Canas's wife, and she's been possessed by something. Canas forsakes his intellectual pursuits in a desperate effort to free her from the possession. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Eh. I participated. Can't believe I introduced multiple typos in my last minute fix-ups last month. There's a lot I could have done more clearly (kicking myself for following a stupid convention and not capitalizing the wife's pet name). And Nino really deserves something resembling a personality. But reading it again, it was fun noticing the similarities between this and A Shiver From Beyond. Cages Summary Reveal hidden contents Flora miserably prepares for Corrin's birthday party as she laments the lack of autonomy and respect afforded her. As her frustration grows, her ice powers act up and disrupt the party. Xander confronts her, and subsequently makes a token effort to help her clean while reminding her that his family too lack control over their lives. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I love how this piece addressed the topics of servitude, respect, and objectification. And the scattered bits of humor fit in nicely! The narration was pleasantly consistent too: firmly and clearly from inside Flora's head. Though I couldn't help noticing the story was sometimes a bit descriptively obvious. I'm not sure how to describe it, but sometimes it felt like the author didn't trust the reader to pick up things. Just one example: "...but Flora didn’t want to be a part of a set; she wanted to be her own person" essentially repeats the same thing twice, and it feels like overly exacting clarification rather than stylistic repetition. But I'm nitpicking; it doesn't hurt the story at all, and maybe others disagree with me; I just don't think it was strictly necessary. Dragonson Summary Reveal hidden contents Lilina and Lord Eliwood try to help Roy revert to normal after he begins transforming into a dragon. Lilina asks Sophia for help while Eliwood stalls Queen Guinevere of Bern whom Roy is due to welcome to Pherae. Sophia helps Roy understand the nature of his condition and seal his powers in his mother's dragonstone. Upon Queen Guinevere's entry, he embraces his birthright and rights a historical wrong. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents You know the feeling when overwhelming awe at the intricacies that led up to the big reveal in a complicated book or movie hits you right in the gut? I got that awe three pages in just from the writing style. The last time that happened was when I read the Gormenghast series. There were a couple extraordinarily minor items I'd have handled differently. But reading this piece was an absolute joy. Both the writing and the story were masterful. Thank you for sharing your work. Fairy Tale Ending Summary Reveal hidden contents A once lost princess has been learning to navigate court life with her new husband. She realizes this isn't the life she wants. But her regrets have come too late. She feels trapped by what should be a "fairy tale ending". Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I'm confused about the princess's internal conflict over having married her "prince charming" rather than her "knight in shining armor". I have a few hypotheses, but I'm not sure if any are right. This is entirely my fault for never finishing FE4. So I'm going to revisit this piece later. The premise is lovely (and sad), and I'm eager to reread it once I've more thoroughly acquaint myself with the lore and characters of the Jugdral games. FE7 Epic Summary Reveal hidden contents Eliwood and Hector march towards Caelin where, unbeknownst to them, Lyn has just been routed by Darin's forces. Lyn's pegasus knight friend Florina flies for help and spots Eliwood's company. She asks for help and Eliwood prepares to retake Castle Caelin. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I love this. It's brilliant! Why has no one mentioned it yet?! I never studied classics, but I picked up on a pleasing consistency of meter, language, and description throughout the entire piece. Though I have to ask, how long did this take to write?! Fire Emblem Echoes of Time Summary Reveal hidden contents Chiki (Tiki) waits to hear back from an infiltration team trying to recover her stolen diamond. Meanwhile, the team is attacked by cyborgs. They manage to defeat the cyborgs and reclaim the diamond. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents This was undoubtedly one of the more inventive settings. Unfortunately I think it suffers from slightly too much authoritative description. Just one example: "...she thought as she struggled not to lose consciousness" is plain and direct, whereas "...she thought, her vision blurring as the pain threatened to overwhelm her" would have implied the same situation in perhaps a slightly more compelling way. I think tiny tweaks like that would make the writing much stronger! Fire Emblem Generations Summary Reveal hidden contents Hector arrives in Pherae to celebrate the approaching birth of Eliwood's child. That evening, portals open in the sky, dropping monsters and a red-haired boy. Hector and Eliwood charge off to fight the monsters. The boy, named Roy, follows. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents This feels like a teaser from a larger story. It leaves me curious why the portals appeared and how Eliwood and Roy will interact. In the beginning, I think some of the dialogue could have been more convincing. For example: "Still as shy around men as ever, huh?" felt a bit forward and crass for Eliwood. But maybe that's just me. Grief and Resolve Summary Reveal hidden contents While Mozu is reflecting on her mother's death earlier that day, a monster attacks her. Fortunately, she's saved by a swordsman. She subsequently resolves to avenger her family and town by fighting the monsters. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents An interesting peek inside Mozu's head at the time of her recruitment. Hatari Investigations – An Interactive Adventure Summary Reveal hidden contents Volug and Tauroneo enter Hatari and become private investigators. Depending on your choices, they investigate an armor counterfeiting ring at a floating hotel or the mysterious disappearance of Queen Nailah. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents This was... stupid. But I enjoyed the hell out of it! It was hilarious despite (or maybe because of?) the plethora of well incorporated in-series jokes and critiques. Tauroneo's confusion over his lance failing to magically reappear and a slant against the casualization of the series spring to mind. I kept a chart to make sure I made it through every path. Honestly, I thought I wouldn't like it, but I really enjoyed reading and navigating the whole story. Historian of Johanna Summary Reveal hidden contents A farmer girl, Ada, dreams of being a lord, and wants to enter a sword-fighting competition as an excuse to travel. Alexi shows up and presents her with Eirika's blade. They begin a journey to the capital that will someday lead to Ada becoming a historian of Johanna. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I'm undecided on how to approach this one. There are no significant conflicts, so it reads like a wish fulfillment fantasy. This makes it rather unlike most of the other stories. Are these established characters from somewhere, or are they unique just to this story? I’d Do Anything Summary Reveal hidden contents Kana's father bandages Kana's leg after she's injured in the Deeprealm. Suddenly, he is then attacked by an outlaw, whom he kills with great regret. He then reveals he feels worthless as a leader who can't actually stomach killing, but his Hoshidan allies rally around him in support. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Exploring the cognitive dissonance of a respected military leader who is morally and emotionally opposed to killing people is a great idea. I think the games overlook this topic, even when they try to mention it. But personally, I think this story doesn't quite make it yet. The framework is there, but the situations and dialogue feel a little contrived. Why is a random outlaw arbitrarily trying to kill the protagonist? Why is he more upset at having killed the attacker than his home and family having suddenly been thrust into mortal danger? I think exploring these questions, or at least acknowledging them, would go a long way toward bolstering the credibility of the story. In His Lonely Footsteps Summary Reveal hidden contents The protagonist uses Samto as a crutch for remembering Navarre. But she knew the real Navarre well enough that illusion never lasts for long. Samto confides he uses her too. He feels trapped believing the world needs him to be Navarre, but she reminds him he's not just a copycat. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents For some reason I didn't take to this story the first time I read it. But I think I was just being dense. It really clicked the second time! The more I think about it the more wonderful I think it is. No Longer Human Summary Reveal hidden contents Zihark is lamenting the advancement of Daein occupation when a boy trying to hire a mercenary reminds him of his training. A conflict between himself, his secretly laguz teacher Moto, and laguz hunters, results in him rescuing a laguz girl. They fall in love, but she is soon felled by Daein soldiers. In the present, Zihark's curiosity is piqued when he notices the boy from before helping a cornered laguz in the street escape. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I was initially confused about the progress of time. But everything snapped into place when I finally realized the entire middle section was a series of flashbacks. I wasn't fond of some of the exposition dumps. I think Kitra's introductory monologue on being a servant was a bit long for example. But overall this was a solid piece. Pray to the Dark Summary Reveal hidden contents A series of vignettes showing the emotional difficulties the Nohrian nobles faced seeking validation from their parents. This includes Elise being rejected by her mother, Camilla having to assassinate a half-sister, and Leo feeling inferior to Xander, among others. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Poor Elise! I feel awful for her! Though some of the stories seemed to contradict each other. Why are Corrin and Kamui in a dungeon? Who does Camilla kill for her mother? Perhaps I'm just confused because I haven't finished the Fates games yet. I'm going to read up on them thoroughly this week before rereading this piece. The Kindling of a Flame Summary Reveal hidden contents Petrine, an accomplished hunter, wants to join Daein's army. Alexei, her (adoptive?) father, comes home with a posse of laguz. He tries to kill her to "get his claws back" and become whole. Petrine single-handedly defeats them and is recruited by Ashnard and the Black Knight. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I liked the concept. But I didn't understand why Alexei thought killing Petrine would achieve anything. That's the one thing that makes me hesitant about this story. Alexei's ambush was so sudden and random. With no indications of prior malice, I'm left wondering what could possibly have been going through his head. The Path of Conquest and Dragon Pokemon Summary Reveal hidden contents Corrin and Azura inexplicably turn into Salamence and Altaria. No one acknowledges the transformations, though Salamence wreaks havoc before being brought back to Castle Krakenberg. He kill Garon, which upsets his siblings. But all is forgiven after he and Altaria defeat Anankos. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I don't know what I expected but it wasn't this. The Prince of Verdane Summary Reveal hidden contents Seliph's liberation army and Prince Cimbaeth's forces defeat Beige Ritter's army together. Cimbaeth explains why they should see the Loptyrian Sect as their common enemy and they join forces. After many battles, they march on Belhalla where Cimbaeth tries to kill Prince Julius. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Cimbaeth's expositionary speech takes up half the story. Personally, I thought the detail in his speech was a little excessive, though it is successful at laying out the development of Cimbaeth position on things since King Batur's death. I'm sorry to admit I not the kind of person who's generally smitten by lore/world-building. The Value of Refuse Summary Reveal hidden contents Renault confronts Nergal over his treatment of morphs as tools. Nergal decides to treat Renault worse, 'resurrecting' his friend and leaving him alive to suffer his anguish. Limstella meanwhile thinks over how best she can serve Nergal. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I always assumed Limstella was a more recent morph, but I may be mistaken as I'm not sure that was ever explicitly clarified.. In any case, it was neat reading a Fire Emblem inspired play script. And I liked that you gave a peak into Limstella's (admittedly predictable) head. I had never considered how a morph (aside from Sonia) might think. Too Much Not Enough Summary Reveal hidden contents Eliwood is constantly on the lookout for ways to extend Ninian's life. Eventually, he uses a spell that trades his life for hers. Ninian is devastated. All she wanted was to live with Eliwood. But eventually she finds joy in raising their son Roy. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Ninian didn't really come across as having a personality beyond her love for Eliwood. But I suppose that's not too important here, and I felt for her regardless. Having traded away her immortality to live with Eliwood only to feel forced to live without him so as not to disrespect his sacrifice was a cruel but fascinating twist. And it's effective because I think it's a very credible interpretation of how Eliwood could have acted. I'm glad you enjoyed Hatari Investigations. I was planning on keeping the anonymity of it in place but your appreciation of it has prompted me to post the flowchart for the game. It's not a serious piece of writing but I did put a tonne of work into making it (and busted my ass off to get it done before the deadline was extended). Some of the choices actually use variables to determine outcomes so an earlier decision might affect a later ending in a way that's not immediately obvious. Like buying the Goddess Icon will stop Nailah turning to Tauroneo to stone in one ending. Flow Chart Spoiler Edited March 24, 2017 by Jotari Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Into Oblivion Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 7 hours ago, Wist said: Just finished reading all the Writes. My memory is awful, so I wrote summaries to remind me what each story was about. Thought others might find them useful for reference? If not, just ignore them. I'm mostly going to avoid making substantive criticisms or suggestions. But I distilled some of the questions and (the mostly positive/encouraging) thoughts I jotted down while reading. SPOILERS AHOY! Reveal hidden contents A Greater Cause Summary Reveal hidden contents Lucia is practicing swordplay when Master Garloche gives her a real sword and commands her to kill a boar. She hesitates, but ends up disemboweling the boar in anger. Though Master Garloche praises her, she flees to her room in disgust. There, her father reminds her she studies swordplay not to kill but to protect Elincia in defense of "a cause worth dying for". Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Lucia, Master Garloche, and even Count Delbray came across as having distinct voices, motivations, and backgrounds. That's no mean feat for such a brief story. Though I fear I misunderstood the scene with the boar though. Did Lucia attack so viciously because she's seeing the boar as a substitute for the jeering students who have so little confidence in her? A Shiver From Beyond Summary Reveal hidden contents Canas and his wife Tali climb a mysterious mountain to confirm the existence of a magic shrine. Upon discovering it's a tomb, Canas tries to commune with the 'demon' on the other side. Their guide, Volf, warns a snowstorm will trigger an avalanche that will destroy the town their son is in. Canas trades his life to the demon so he and Tali can stop the storm. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Perhaps I misread him, but I wasn't convinced by Volf casually recognizing the storm as a once in a few centuries event. He seemed bizarrely cavalier about the whole situation. That aside, the premise was solid and Canas's personality came through clearly. I was impressed with some of the imagery, such as the endless library at the beginning and what Canas experiences as he struggles to endure the demon. A Soulweaver's Journey Summary Reveal hidden contents With his knowledge of the three Fates routes, Arilon (as Corrin) negotiates the formation of a joint-Nohrian/Hoshidan splinter group. They leave the two armies, which are on the verge of battle, and enter Valla, a mythical kingdom at the bottom of the Bottomless Canyon. They continue onward, seeking a way to combat the third party pushing their own two kingdoms to war. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents What a fascinating combination of theorycraft, self-aware stream of consciousness, and first person narration. I only wish the formatting were friendlier to wide screens. And unfortunately Birthright is the only Fates game I've played, so I don't know what were and weren't new ideas. I think some interactions were more credible than others. Though it was curious watching characters being manipulated into engaging in such uncertain tactical negotiation. Shame the story was cut short (presumably due to time constraints?). Anna's Surprise Summary Reveal hidden contents Anna steals Robin's clothes, forcing him to chase after her through the camp. He suspects something is off when Chrom lends his own clothes and they fit perfectly. But he continues tracking Anna until she leads him to a tent where a surprise birthday party awaits him. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents This isn't the most thought provoking story I've ever read. But it succeeds at being silly and fun (as obviously it's meant to be). Azel's Epilogue (Chapter 1 | Chapter 2) Summary Reveal hidden contents Azel and his son Arthur make their way to Velthomer for Arthur's ascension. Azel dreams of events before his magic induced sleep. The memories continue welling up as he struggles to cope with how Velthomer changed in his absence. He ends up offering to free Arthur and his fiancee Fee from the responsibilities of Dukedom, going so far as to force a duel to settle the matter. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I'm only vaguely acquainted with the Jugdral characters (embarrassingly I've yet to beat either game). But I found this an insightful look into Azel's confused mind. I love how even though we're watching him so closely, even spying on his dreams, and we can only guess at what he's really thinking. Battle of Alucia Summary Reveal hidden contents After Rezzy stands up to Lord Daniel for being weak on pillaging bandits, Chloey forms a squad to defend the town. One recruit, Nym, discovers the bandits have been wiped out by two magic-wielding maids. Chloey's army arrives to battle the maids, but they teleport to safety. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I found this story funny but slightly confusing. I was surprised the food-starved villagers were throwing tomatoes instead of rocks. And I suspect there are in-jokes I'm not getting (got the Mulan reference at least). Is the story meant to continue? I'm curious what was up with the maids. Though maybe I'm just dense and that was hinted at by the threat alluded to at the end? Beyond the Horizon Summary Reveal hidden contents Canas is studying an old wizard's notes when Nino shows up convinced her mother is out in the snowstorm. They search for her and discover it's Canas's wife, and she's been possessed by something. Canas forsakes his intellectual pursuits in a desperate effort to free her from the possession. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Eh. I participated. Can't believe I introduced multiple typos in my last minute fix-ups last month. There's a lot I could have done more clearly (kicking myself for following a stupid convention and not capitalizing the wife's pet name). And Nino really deserves something resembling a personality. But reading it again, it was fun noticing the similarities between this and A Shiver From Beyond. Cages Summary Reveal hidden contents Flora miserably prepares for Corrin's birthday party as she laments the lack of autonomy and respect afforded her. As her frustration grows, her ice powers act up and disrupt the party. Xander confronts her, and subsequently makes a token effort to help her clean while reminding her that his family too lack control over their lives. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I love how this piece addressed the topics of servitude, respect, and objectification. And the scattered bits of humor fit in nicely! The narration was pleasantly consistent too: firmly and clearly from inside Flora's head. Though I couldn't help noticing the story was sometimes a bit descriptively obvious. I'm not sure how to describe it, but sometimes it felt like the author didn't trust the reader to pick up things. Just one example: "...but Flora didn’t want to be a part of a set; she wanted to be her own person" essentially repeats the same thing twice, and it feels like overly exacting clarification rather than stylistic repetition. But I'm nitpicking; it doesn't hurt the story at all, and maybe others disagree with me; I just don't think it was strictly necessary. Dragonson Summary Reveal hidden contents Lilina and Lord Eliwood try to help Roy revert to normal after he begins transforming into a dragon. Lilina asks Sophia for help while Eliwood stalls Queen Guinevere of Bern whom Roy is due to welcome to Pherae. Sophia helps Roy understand the nature of his condition and seal his powers in his mother's dragonstone. Upon Queen Guinevere's entry, he embraces his birthright and rights a historical wrong. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents You know the feeling when overwhelming awe at the intricacies that led up to the big reveal in a complicated book or movie hits you right in the gut? I got that awe three pages in just from the writing style. The last time that happened was when I read the Gormenghast series. There were a couple extraordinarily minor items I'd have handled differently. But reading this piece was an absolute joy. Both the writing and the story were masterful. Thank you for sharing your work. Fairy Tale Ending Summary Reveal hidden contents A once lost princess has been learning to navigate court life with her new husband. She realizes this isn't the life she wants. But her regrets have come too late. She feels trapped by what should be a "fairy tale ending". Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I'm confused about the princess's internal conflict over having married her "prince charming" rather than her "knight in shining armor". I have a few hypotheses, but I'm not sure if any are right. This is entirely my fault for never finishing FE4. So I'm going to revisit this piece later. The premise is lovely (and sad), and I'm eager to reread it once I've more thoroughly acquaint myself with the lore and characters of the Jugdral games. FE7 Epic Summary Reveal hidden contents Eliwood and Hector march towards Caelin where, unbeknownst to them, Lyn has just been routed by Darin's forces. Lyn's pegasus knight friend Florina flies for help and spots Eliwood's company. She asks for help and Eliwood prepares to retake Castle Caelin. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I love this. It's brilliant! Why has no one mentioned it yet?! I never studied classics, but I picked up on a pleasing consistency of meter, language, and description throughout the entire piece. Though I have to ask, how long did this take to write?! Fire Emblem Echoes of Time Summary Reveal hidden contents Chiki (Tiki) waits to hear back from an infiltration team trying to recover her stolen diamond. Meanwhile, the team is attacked by cyborgs. They manage to defeat the cyborgs and reclaim the diamond. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents This was undoubtedly one of the more inventive settings. Unfortunately I think it suffers from slightly too much authoritative description. Just one example: "...she thought as she struggled not to lose consciousness" is plain and direct, whereas "...she thought, her vision blurring as the pain threatened to overwhelm her" would have implied the same situation in perhaps a slightly more compelling way. I think tiny tweaks like that would make the writing much stronger! Fire Emblem Generations Summary Reveal hidden contents Hector arrives in Pherae to celebrate the approaching birth of Eliwood's child. That evening, portals open in the sky, dropping monsters and a red-haired boy. Hector and Eliwood charge off to fight the monsters. The boy, named Roy, follows. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents This feels like a teaser from a larger story. It leaves me curious why the portals appeared and how Eliwood and Roy will interact. In the beginning, I think some of the dialogue could have been more convincing. For example: "Still as shy around men as ever, huh?" felt a bit forward and crass for Eliwood. But maybe that's just me. Grief and Resolve Summary Reveal hidden contents While Mozu is reflecting on her mother's death earlier that day, a monster attacks her. Fortunately, she's saved by a swordsman. She subsequently resolves to avenger her family and town by fighting the monsters. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents An interesting peek inside Mozu's head at the time of her recruitment. Hatari Investigations – An Interactive Adventure Summary Reveal hidden contents Volug and Tauroneo enter Hatari and become private investigators. Depending on your choices, they investigate an armor counterfeiting ring at a floating hotel or the mysterious disappearance of Queen Nailah. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents This was... stupid. But I enjoyed the hell out of it! It was hilarious despite (or maybe because of?) the plethora of well incorporated in-series jokes and critiques. Tauroneo's confusion over his lance failing to magically reappear and a slant against the casualization of the series spring to mind. I kept a chart to make sure I made it through every path. Honestly, I thought I wouldn't like it, but I really enjoyed reading and navigating the whole story. Historian of Johanna Summary Reveal hidden contents A farmer girl, Ada, dreams of being a lord, and wants to enter a sword-fighting competition as an excuse to travel. Alexi shows up and presents her with Eirika's blade. They begin a journey to the capital that will someday lead to Ada becoming a historian of Johanna. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I'm undecided on how to approach this one. There are no significant conflicts, so it reads like a wish fulfillment fantasy. This makes it rather unlike most of the other stories. Are these established characters from somewhere, or are they unique just to this story? I’d Do Anything Summary Reveal hidden contents Kana's father bandages Kana's leg after she's injured in the Deeprealm. Suddenly, he is then attacked by an outlaw, whom he kills with great regret. He then reveals he feels worthless as a leader who can't actually stomach killing, but his Hoshidan allies rally around him in support. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Exploring the cognitive dissonance of a respected military leader who is morally and emotionally opposed to killing people is a great idea. I think the games overlook this topic, even when they try to mention it. But personally, I think this story doesn't quite make it yet. The framework is there, but the situations and dialogue feel a little contrived. Why is a random outlaw arbitrarily trying to kill the protagonist? Why is he more upset at having killed the attacker than his home and family having suddenly been thrust into mortal danger? I think exploring these questions, or at least acknowledging them, would go a long way toward bolstering the credibility of the story. In His Lonely Footsteps Summary Reveal hidden contents The protagonist uses Samto as a crutch for remembering Navarre. But she knew the real Navarre well enough that illusion never lasts for long. Samto confides he uses her too. He feels trapped believing the world needs him to be Navarre, but she reminds him he's not just a copycat. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents For some reason I didn't take to this story the first time I read it. But I think I was just being dense. It really clicked the second time! The more I think about it the more wonderful I think it is. No Longer Human Summary Reveal hidden contents Zihark is lamenting the advancement of Daein occupation when a boy trying to hire a mercenary reminds him of his training. A conflict between himself, his secretly laguz teacher Moto, and laguz hunters, results in him rescuing a laguz girl. They fall in love, but she is soon felled by Daein soldiers. In the present, Zihark's curiosity is piqued when he notices the boy from before helping a cornered laguz in the street escape. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I was initially confused about the progress of time. But everything snapped into place when I finally realized the entire middle section was a series of flashbacks. I wasn't fond of some of the exposition dumps. I think Kitra's introductory monologue on being a servant was a bit long for example. But overall this was a solid piece. Pray to the Dark Summary Reveal hidden contents A series of vignettes showing the emotional difficulties the Nohrian nobles faced seeking validation from their parents. This includes Elise being rejected by her mother, Camilla having to assassinate a half-sister, and Leo feeling inferior to Xander, among others. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Poor Elise! I feel awful for her! Though some of the stories seemed to contradict each other. Why are Corrin and Kamui in a dungeon? Who does Camilla kill for her mother? Perhaps I'm just confused because I haven't finished the Fates games yet. I'm going to read up on them thoroughly this week before rereading this piece. The Kindling of a Flame Summary Reveal hidden contents Petrine, an accomplished hunter, wants to join Daein's army. Alexei, her (adoptive?) father, comes home with a posse of laguz. He tries to kill her to "get his claws back" and become whole. Petrine single-handedly defeats them and is recruited by Ashnard and the Black Knight. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I liked the concept. But I didn't understand why Alexei thought killing Petrine would achieve anything. That's the one thing that makes me hesitant about this story. Alexei's ambush was so sudden and random. With no indications of prior malice, I'm left wondering what could possibly have been going through his head. The Path of Conquest and Dragon Pokemon Summary Reveal hidden contents Corrin and Azura inexplicably turn into Salamence and Altaria. No one acknowledges the transformations, though Salamence wreaks havoc before being brought back to Castle Krakenberg. He kill Garon, which upsets his siblings. But all is forgiven after he and Altaria defeat Anankos. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I don't know what I expected but it wasn't this. The Prince of Verdane Summary Reveal hidden contents Seliph's liberation army and Prince Cimbaeth's forces defeat Beige Ritter's army together. Cimbaeth explains why they should see the Loptyrian Sect as their common enemy and they join forces. After many battles, they march on Belhalla where Cimbaeth tries to kill Prince Julius. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Cimbaeth's expositionary speech takes up half the story. Personally, I thought the detail in his speech was a little excessive, though it is successful at laying out the development of Cimbaeth position on things since King Batur's death. I'm sorry to admit I not the kind of person who's generally smitten by lore/world-building. The Value of Refuse Summary Reveal hidden contents Renault confronts Nergal over his treatment of morphs as tools. Nergal decides to treat Renault worse, 'resurrecting' his friend and leaving him alive to suffer his anguish. Limstella meanwhile thinks over how best she can serve Nergal. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I always assumed Limstella was a more recent morph, but I may be mistaken as I'm not sure that was ever explicitly clarified.. In any case, it was neat reading a Fire Emblem inspired play script. And I liked that you gave a peak into Limstella's (admittedly predictable) head. I had never considered how a morph (aside from Sonia) might think. Too Much Not Enough Summary Reveal hidden contents Eliwood is constantly on the lookout for ways to extend Ninian's life. Eventually, he uses a spell that trades his life for hers. Ninian is devastated. All she wanted was to live with Eliwood. But eventually she finds joy in raising their son Roy. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Ninian didn't really come across as having a personality beyond her love for Eliwood. But I suppose that's not too important here, and I felt for her regardless. Having traded away her immortality to live with Eliwood only to feel forced to live without him so as not to disrespect his sacrifice was a cruel but fascinating twist. And it's effective because I think it's a very credible interpretation of how Eliwood could have acted. I would say yes and no on Lucia. She saw the boar as someone else mocking her, but I don't think she actually attacked it thinking it was standing in for the other students. The main idea I had is that Lucia would see what she is capable of doing. In the game, we see her as composed and controlled, and I'm sure that extends to her fighting. But for the first time, at a young age, and being kicked while she's down, I imagined she would lose control because she's not yet learned how to control herself in the heat of battle. I really wanted her to get caught up in the chaos and rage of battle, so she just strikes without thinking, when during her training, she always thinks of every strike she performs. 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SoulWeaver Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 (edited) 12 hours ago, eclipse said: Got through a good chunk of the stories. I only have one public request: A Soulweaver's Journey - the size and font make it nigh-impossible for me to read. Can it be changed to something a bit bigger and less flowery? Yeah, I can't figure out how to get it to reformat to be like the other Google Docs - the format it's in right now is just me hitting "Publish to Web". If anyone can tell me how to fix that and make it look like a normal Doc without locking everyone out because I haven't personally shared it with them, please, PLEASE do so. Also, funnily enough, it was originally in the "Courier New" Font(the one that looks like a typewriter), and I changed it to "Corsiva" because I thought it looked too boring looking like I did it on a typewriter. I'll change the main body of it back for you guys if I can get help reformatting it to not look like a wall of text. It was also put that small so as to not take up more pages of space, but suggestion noted, I'll make the font a bit bigger. Finally, the FE7Epic…I must admit defeat. Edited March 24, 2017 by SoulWeaver Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulWeaver Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 (edited) 8 hours ago, Wist said: Just finished reading all the Writes. My memory is awful, so I wrote summaries to remind me what each story was about. Thought others might find them useful for reference? If not, just ignore them. I'm mostly going to avoid making substantive criticisms or suggestions. But I distilled some of the questions and (the mostly positive/encouraging) thoughts I jotted down while reading. SPOILERS AHOY! Reveal hidden contents A Greater Cause Summary Reveal hidden contents Lucia is practicing swordplay when Master Garloche gives her a real sword and commands her to kill a boar. She hesitates, but ends up disemboweling the boar in anger. Though Master Garloche praises her, she flees to her room in disgust. There, her father reminds her she studies swordplay not to kill but to protect Elincia in defense of "a cause worth dying for". Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Lucia, Master Garloche, and even Count Delbray came across as having distinct voices, motivations, and backgrounds. That's no mean feat for such a brief story. Though I fear I misunderstood the scene with the boar though. Did Lucia attack so viciously because she's seeing the boar as a substitute for the jeering students who have so little confidence in her? A Shiver From Beyond Summary Reveal hidden contents Canas and his wife Tali climb a mysterious mountain to confirm the existence of a magic shrine. Upon discovering it's a tomb, Canas tries to commune with the 'demon' on the other side. Their guide, Volf, warns a snowstorm will trigger an avalanche that will destroy the town their son is in. Canas trades his life to the demon so he and Tali can stop the storm. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Perhaps I misread him, but I wasn't convinced by Volf casually recognizing the storm as a once in a few centuries event. He seemed bizarrely cavalier about the whole situation. That aside, the premise was solid and Canas's personality came through clearly. I was impressed with some of the imagery, such as the endless library at the beginning and what Canas experiences as he struggles to endure the demon. A Soulweaver's Journey Summary Reveal hidden contents With his knowledge of the three Fates routes, Arilon (as Corrin) negotiates the formation of a joint-Nohrian/Hoshidan splinter group. They leave the two armies, which are on the verge of battle, and enter Valla, a mythical kingdom at the bottom of the Bottomless Canyon. They continue onward, seeking a way to combat the third party pushing their own two kingdoms to war. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents What a fascinating combination of theorycraft, self-aware stream of consciousness, and first person narration. I only wish the formatting were friendlier to wide screens. And unfortunately Birthright is the only Fates game I've played, so I don't know what were and weren't new ideas. I think some interactions were more credible than others. Though it was curious watching characters being manipulated into engaging in such uncertain tactical negotiation. Shame the story was cut short (presumably due to time constraints?). Anna's Surprise Summary Reveal hidden contents Anna steals Robin's clothes, forcing him to chase after her through the camp. He suspects something is off when Chrom lends his own clothes and they fit perfectly. But he continues tracking Anna until she leads him to a tent where a surprise birthday party awaits him. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents This isn't the most thought provoking story I've ever read. But it succeeds at being silly and fun (as obviously it's meant to be). Azel's Epilogue (Chapter 1 | Chapter 2) Summary Reveal hidden contents Azel and his son Arthur make their way to Velthomer for Arthur's ascension. Azel dreams of events before his magic induced sleep. The memories continue welling up as he struggles to cope with how Velthomer changed in his absence. He ends up offering to free Arthur and his fiancee Fee from the responsibilities of Dukedom, going so far as to force a duel to settle the matter. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I'm only vaguely acquainted with the Jugdral characters (embarrassingly I've yet to beat either game). But I found this an insightful look into Azel's confused mind. I love how even though we're watching him so closely, even spying on his dreams, and we can only guess at what he's really thinking. Battle of Alucia Summary Reveal hidden contents After Rezzy stands up to Lord Daniel for being weak on pillaging bandits, Chloey forms a squad to defend the town. One recruit, Nym, discovers the bandits have been wiped out by two magic-wielding maids. Chloey's army arrives to battle the maids, but they teleport to safety. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I found this story funny but slightly confusing. I was surprised the food-starved villagers were throwing tomatoes instead of rocks. And I suspect there are in-jokes I'm not getting (got the Mulan reference at least). Is the story meant to continue? I'm curious what was up with the maids. Though maybe I'm just dense and that was hinted at by the threat alluded to at the end? Beyond the Horizon Summary Reveal hidden contents Canas is studying an old wizard's notes when Nino shows up convinced her mother is out in the snowstorm. They search for her and discover it's Canas's wife, and she's been possessed by something. Canas forsakes his intellectual pursuits in a desperate effort to free her from the possession. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Eh. I participated. Can't believe I introduced multiple typos in my last minute fix-ups last month. There's a lot I could have done more clearly (kicking myself for following a stupid convention and not capitalizing the wife's pet name). And Nino really deserves something resembling a personality. But reading it again, it was fun noticing the similarities between this and A Shiver From Beyond. Cages Summary Reveal hidden contents Flora miserably prepares for Corrin's birthday party as she laments the lack of autonomy and respect afforded her. As her frustration grows, her ice powers act up and disrupt the party. Xander confronts her, and subsequently makes a token effort to help her clean while reminding her that his family too lack control over their lives. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I love how this piece addressed the topics of servitude, respect, and objectification. And the scattered bits of humor fit in nicely! The narration was pleasantly consistent too: firmly and clearly from inside Flora's head. Though I couldn't help noticing the story was sometimes a bit descriptively obvious. I'm not sure how to describe it, but sometimes it felt like the author didn't trust the reader to pick up things. Just one example: "...but Flora didn’t want to be a part of a set; she wanted to be her own person" essentially repeats the same thing twice, and it feels like overly exacting clarification rather than stylistic repetition. But I'm nitpicking; it doesn't hurt the story at all, and maybe others disagree with me; I just don't think it was strictly necessary. Dragonson Summary Reveal hidden contents Lilina and Lord Eliwood try to help Roy revert to normal after he begins transforming into a dragon. Lilina asks Sophia for help while Eliwood stalls Queen Guinevere of Bern whom Roy is due to welcome to Pherae. Sophia helps Roy understand the nature of his condition and seal his powers in his mother's dragonstone. Upon Queen Guinevere's entry, he embraces his birthright and rights a historical wrong. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents You know the feeling when overwhelming awe at the intricacies that led up to the big reveal in a complicated book or movie hits you right in the gut? I got that awe three pages in just from the writing style. The last time that happened was when I read the Gormenghast series. There were a couple extraordinarily minor items I'd have handled differently. But reading this piece was an absolute joy. Both the writing and the story were masterful. Thank you for sharing your work. Fairy Tale Ending Summary Reveal hidden contents A once lost princess has been learning to navigate court life with her new husband. She realizes this isn't the life she wants. But her regrets have come too late. She feels trapped by what should be a "fairy tale ending". Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I'm confused about the princess's internal conflict over having married her "prince charming" rather than her "knight in shining armor". I have a few hypotheses, but I'm not sure if any are right. This is entirely my fault for never finishing FE4. So I'm going to revisit this piece later. The premise is lovely (and sad), and I'm eager to reread it once I've more thoroughly acquaint myself with the lore and characters of the Jugdral games. FE7 Epic Summary Reveal hidden contents Eliwood and Hector march towards Caelin where, unbeknownst to them, Lyn has just been routed by Darin's forces. Lyn's pegasus knight friend Florina flies for help and spots Eliwood's company. She asks for help and Eliwood prepares to retake Castle Caelin. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I love this. It's brilliant! Why has no one mentioned it yet?! I never studied classics, but I picked up on a pleasing consistency of meter, language, and description throughout the entire piece. Though I have to ask, how long did this take to write?! Fire Emblem Echoes of Time Summary Reveal hidden contents Chiki (Tiki) waits to hear back from an infiltration team trying to recover her stolen diamond. Meanwhile, the team is attacked by cyborgs. They manage to defeat the cyborgs and reclaim the diamond. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents This was undoubtedly one of the more inventive settings. Unfortunately I think it suffers from slightly too much authoritative description. Just one example: "...she thought as she struggled not to lose consciousness" is plain and direct, whereas "...she thought, her vision blurring as the pain threatened to overwhelm her" would have implied the same situation in perhaps a slightly more compelling way. I think tiny tweaks like that would make the writing much stronger! Fire Emblem Generations Summary Reveal hidden contents Hector arrives in Pherae to celebrate the approaching birth of Eliwood's child. That evening, portals open in the sky, dropping monsters and a red-haired boy. Hector and Eliwood charge off to fight the monsters. The boy, named Roy, follows. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents This feels like a teaser from a larger story. It leaves me curious why the portals appeared and how Eliwood and Roy will interact. In the beginning, I think some of the dialogue could have been more convincing. For example: "Still as shy around men as ever, huh?" felt a bit forward and crass for Eliwood. But maybe that's just me. Grief and Resolve Summary Reveal hidden contents While Mozu is reflecting on her mother's death earlier that day, a monster attacks her. Fortunately, she's saved by a swordsman. She subsequently resolves to avenger her family and town by fighting the monsters. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents An interesting peek inside Mozu's head at the time of her recruitment. Hatari Investigations – An Interactive Adventure Summary Reveal hidden contents Volug and Tauroneo enter Hatari and become private investigators. Depending on your choices, they investigate an armor counterfeiting ring at a floating hotel or the mysterious disappearance of Queen Nailah. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents This was... stupid. But I enjoyed the hell out of it! It was hilarious despite (or maybe because of?) the plethora of well incorporated in-series jokes and critiques. Tauroneo's confusion over his lance failing to magically reappear and a slant against the casualization of the series spring to mind. I kept a chart to make sure I made it through every path. Honestly, I thought I wouldn't like it, but I really enjoyed reading and navigating the whole story. Historian of Johanna Summary Reveal hidden contents A farmer girl, Ada, dreams of being a lord, and wants to enter a sword-fighting competition as an excuse to travel. Alexi shows up and presents her with Eirika's blade. They begin a journey to the capital that will someday lead to Ada becoming a historian of Johanna. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I'm undecided on how to approach this one. There are no significant conflicts, so it reads like a wish fulfillment fantasy. This makes it rather unlike most of the other stories. Are these established characters from somewhere, or are they unique just to this story? I’d Do Anything Summary Reveal hidden contents Kana's father bandages Kana's leg after she's injured in the Deeprealm. Suddenly, he is then attacked by an outlaw, whom he kills with great regret. He then reveals he feels worthless as a leader who can't actually stomach killing, but his Hoshidan allies rally around him in support. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Exploring the cognitive dissonance of a respected military leader who is morally and emotionally opposed to killing people is a great idea. I think the games overlook this topic, even when they try to mention it. But personally, I think this story doesn't quite make it yet. The framework is there, but the situations and dialogue feel a little contrived. Why is a random outlaw arbitrarily trying to kill the protagonist? Why is he more upset at having killed the attacker than his home and family having suddenly been thrust into mortal danger? I think exploring these questions, or at least acknowledging them, would go a long way toward bolstering the credibility of the story. In His Lonely Footsteps Summary Reveal hidden contents The protagonist uses Samto as a crutch for remembering Navarre. But she knew the real Navarre well enough that illusion never lasts for long. Samto confides he uses her too. He feels trapped believing the world needs him to be Navarre, but she reminds him he's not just a copycat. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents For some reason I didn't take to this story the first time I read it. But I think I was just being dense. It really clicked the second time! The more I think about it the more wonderful I think it is. No Longer Human Summary Reveal hidden contents Zihark is lamenting the advancement of Daein occupation when a boy trying to hire a mercenary reminds him of his training. A conflict between himself, his secretly laguz teacher Moto, and laguz hunters, results in him rescuing a laguz girl. They fall in love, but she is soon felled by Daein soldiers. In the present, Zihark's curiosity is piqued when he notices the boy from before helping a cornered laguz in the street escape. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I was initially confused about the progress of time. But everything snapped into place when I finally realized the entire middle section was a series of flashbacks. I wasn't fond of some of the exposition dumps. I think Kitra's introductory monologue on being a servant was a bit long for example. But overall this was a solid piece. Pray to the Dark Summary Reveal hidden contents A series of vignettes showing the emotional difficulties the Nohrian nobles faced seeking validation from their parents. This includes Elise being rejected by her mother, Camilla having to assassinate a half-sister, and Leo feeling inferior to Xander, among others. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Poor Elise! I feel awful for her! Though some of the stories seemed to contradict each other. Why are Corrin and Kamui in a dungeon? Who does Camilla kill for her mother? Perhaps I'm just confused because I haven't finished the Fates games yet. I'm going to read up on them thoroughly this week before rereading this piece. The Kindling of a Flame Summary Reveal hidden contents Petrine, an accomplished hunter, wants to join Daein's army. Alexei, her (adoptive?) father, comes home with a posse of laguz. He tries to kill her to "get his claws back" and become whole. Petrine single-handedly defeats them and is recruited by Ashnard and the Black Knight. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I liked the concept. But I didn't understand why Alexei thought killing Petrine would achieve anything. That's the one thing that makes me hesitant about this story. Alexei's ambush was so sudden and random. With no indications of prior malice, I'm left wondering what could possibly have been going through his head. The Path of Conquest and Dragon Pokemon Summary Reveal hidden contents Corrin and Azura inexplicably turn into Salamence and Altaria. No one acknowledges the transformations, though Salamence wreaks havoc before being brought back to Castle Krakenberg. He kill Garon, which upsets his siblings. But all is forgiven after he and Altaria defeat Anankos. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I don't know what I expected but it wasn't this. The Prince of Verdane Summary Reveal hidden contents Seliph's liberation army and Prince Cimbaeth's forces defeat Beige Ritter's army together. Cimbaeth explains why they should see the Loptyrian Sect as their common enemy and they join forces. After many battles, they march on Belhalla where Cimbaeth tries to kill Prince Julius. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Cimbaeth's expositionary speech takes up half the story. Personally, I thought the detail in his speech was a little excessive, though it is successful at laying out the development of Cimbaeth position on things since King Batur's death. I'm sorry to admit I not the kind of person who's generally smitten by lore/world-building. The Value of Refuse Summary Reveal hidden contents Renault confronts Nergal over his treatment of morphs as tools. Nergal decides to treat Renault worse, 'resurrecting' his friend and leaving him alive to suffer his anguish. Limstella meanwhile thinks over how best she can serve Nergal. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents I always assumed Limstella was a more recent morph, but I may be mistaken as I'm not sure that was ever explicitly clarified.. In any case, it was neat reading a Fire Emblem inspired play script. And I liked that you gave a peak into Limstella's (admittedly predictable) head. I had never considered how a morph (aside from Sonia) might think. Too Much Not Enough Summary Reveal hidden contents Eliwood is constantly on the lookout for ways to extend Ninian's life. Eventually, he uses a spell that trades his life for hers. Ninian is devastated. All she wanted was to live with Eliwood. But eventually she finds joy in raising their son Roy. Thoughts Reveal hidden contents Ninian didn't really come across as having a personality beyond her love for Eliwood. But I suppose that's not too important here, and I felt for her regardless. Having traded away her immortality to live with Eliwood only to feel forced to live without him so as not to disrespect his sacrifice was a cruel but fascinating twist. And it's effective because I think it's a very credible interpretation of how Eliwood could have acted. The reason I cut it off was because it was 13 pages on my Google Doc and I didn't want to overload people with such a huge entry, though time constraints played a part as well - I really wanted to explore Sakura's reasoning more in particular as I felt that I kind of rushed that entire scene, which was important because Sakura becomes a much more important character later in Arilon's saga. I have a(significantly less impressive as I changed my mind on some things making my actual entry) piece from earlier in the same story I can share with anyone interested in learning a little more about this story who wants to either PM me their email so I can share it with them or tell me how to make it so it can be seen without clicking the stupid Publish to the Web option. Edited March 24, 2017 by SoulWeaver Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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