screenshot lp The League shall fall if I'm in control - A bad tactician plays Berwick Saga, Ironman mode!

[eclipse]

Seamus must've been a scholar turned brigand or something.

[Benice]

6 hours ago, Benice said:

What the everliving heck?! My level 17 swordmaster Faye has seven strength! (Well, nine, but I gave her the Performance enhancing drugs.)

I'm dumb, she actually has 9 strength, 11 post PEDs.

I'd also like to take a moment to rephrase something else:

6 hours ago, Benice said:

Dang.

When I said this, I meant:

Watch your back...You never know when Rick Astley will come knocking.

Mark my words, before the end of the LP, I shall get you!

[ranger016]

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Pretty simple map. We got a bunch of horses. Most of them are out of our reach,  so they'll be captured by the enemy, but we can get them by kiling their carriers. The horses appear back on the map when their carrier dies. Except, guess what: Ruben, being the BWS expert he is, had no idea that the enemies drop the horses they catch. I just saw that there was no D next to the horse in their inventory and figured I'd have to capture the enemies or something.

The result is that I will only get one horse. Wonderful.

Still, a few cheap horses aren't that big of a loss, and there is an incentive to ignore them and rush the boss instead. He's a bounty target, and he'll escape after a few turns. The problem here is that I thought it took him way less turns to escape than it really did. As a result, I threw caution to the wind and just threw all my units in his direction, completely neglecting even trying to kill the horse thieves.

In summary, this is Ruben Knows Nothing: The Chapter.

Don't worry, your opponents are Disaad and Volcens level strategists, I know you can manage them...

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The thieves are moving toward the horses. I sure wish I hadn't found out about the horse dropping tidbit after the map was over. Urgh...

Looks like this will be a hilarious update.

 

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Pretty much my reaction when he appeared. Except, he managed to damage himself with the backfire on his first try...

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

One of the horse thieves escaped.

I had Sherpa and Faramir block both exits, they are hilariously OP in this map, nobody even tried to attack either.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ohohohohohohoho! More strength! And HP, yes! Buff myrmidon! Buff myrmidon!

Can't be a Ruben playthrough without weaker units getting good levels...

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahahahahahahah! Even his battle quote is amazing! I love this guy.

Can we spare this guy, he is indeed amazing!

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

So long, man. You died too soon for us to see your best scenes. But don't worry, I'll be showing them off nonetheless. They'll be at the end of the update. Don't miss 'em, they're priceless.

No! you monster...

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh my goodness... Sherlock, stop getting hit by these low hitrates!

Pretty much my Sherlock...he is the low hit magnet of this game.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh, dear... watch out, alternate-universe units! He's coming for y--

AHAHAHAHAHAH! BWAHAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Aaahhhh... hahah... well, he did "end" it himself, in a way... pffffhwahahahahahahah... oh, that is amazing...

Fun fact: Aethin once told me that this was a slight mistranslation, but everyone found it so hilarious that he left it in. I cannot blame him. This is awesome.

I am glad it was not corrected, been a while I genuinely laughed out loud while playing a game...

[Hawkwing]

On 5/1/2020 at 5:46 PM, Golb89 said:

In which case, i think i might know something about Derrick's tragic past:

  Hide contents

 

 

Is it odd to say that this sold me on the game?

Now if only I knew what having a gigabyte to spare on my phone was like... (seriously, a day after getting it, and all the "essential" apps updated and left me with less than 1 Gb left, and I still don't know which of said apps actually help my phone function and which ones I can safely get rid of).

11 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Well for those who do not wish to know (this means you Hawking) do not open this.

I learned that some birds lay their eggs in another birds nest.

I pretty much blotted out everything else.

11 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Mind, just because it never happened in the main comics doesn't mean it didn't happen in the MAX line (which to be fair isn't in the main continuity but it's own due to being the "Adult oriented line"). Thing is I really avoided the MAX Line because the last thing I needed to see was him getting prison-raped and him responding by having his entire gang reciprocate on the guy's who got him's girlfriend while he watched as revenge when they got out. Thanks for that Jason Aaron. Remember that quote about critics and "adult writing"? Jason Aaron's Punisher stuff is literally that taken up to 11. He does a bunch of shit that people associate with "mature" themes in such a way it just ends up being vulgar for vulgarities sake. The the critics eat it up and act like it's "next level" writing because it's original. He doesn't even try to do it in a black comedy way. Because if uncensored swearing all the time like the rest of the MAX Punisher wasn't enough, he had to crank the bar up so high (or down so low) I'd never trust another comic with his name on it again. If that sounds like an excessive rant, it's me trying to save people from needing eyebleach. Does this make Jason Aaron my version of Horsemen? Probably.

Thanks for the warning. I'll keep the name in mind when searching for comics.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...the most ridiculous requirements since the Leteena event! What the hell!? Did they notice the Leteena nonsense in Kaga's Notes and decided they wanted to do it too?

I don't know, doesn't sound that ridiculous, but then again, I have no idea how easy or hard it is to unlock supports in either game.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Reminds me of the time youtube recommended me Xavier Renegade Angel and I was thoroughly confused.

...What the hell did I just watch?

Like, did someone seriously create those models and record some voice acting lines and animate this? I honestly don't know at this point.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Just like Kaga's pink-haired axe woman with a stolen name is ten times better than IntSys's.

Although, there was a particular scene with her in Vestaria that... really disturbed me. It didn't go anywhere, though. Guessing they will elaborate in the sequels. The sequels I'll never see, because they most likely won't be translated. Or maybe they will be. I'm not sure what Dangen Entertainment considers to be "good sales". But I can only hope Vestaria I reached them.

I am both concerned and intrigued.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I've used it so many times and you never got it until now...

If anything, I thought it was from the Simpsons, despite knowing little about that series.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It's not as broken as it looks. It makes stuff like this or my Hicks video possible, but since it's chance-based, you can never plan around it or count on it at all. I had to do a lot of RNG abusing to get the Hicks thing to happen, and I still can't believe it took me as little time as it did.

Ah, I see. It's odd to say that I can see why Awakening doesn't have the skill, despite the amount of broken combinations and RNG skills there are in that game.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I've not seen it. It appears it had a mixed reception among Tintin fans, but that was to be expected.

I still recommend it. It's a good movie in its own right, and has some remarkably beautiful animation (even if it may take a while to get used to).

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Hey, come to think about it, as well as the books, there's a pretty awesome cartoon adaptation from the 90s! They adapted the whole series except for Congo, Soviets and the incomplete story Herge was working on when he died (in other words, they adapted all that matters). If you compare these episodes to the books, the work they did is honestly exceptional - they're unbelievably faithful to the source material. You'd think Herge was behind the cartoon as well, except, well, he'd been dead for ten years. The books are still superior in my opinion, of course, but the cartoon did a good job of it.

I'll have to check that out sometime. I'll add it to the list of other shows I need to watch.

But seriously though. I am bad at watching televisions shows, even when I have all the episodes available to me.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...now I'm even more confused. Why would you wish that they weren't one-shot?

...oooooooohhhhhhhhh it reflects damage! I'm so used to FE's idea of counterattacks that I didn't even consider that.

Annoyingly, it's one of those skills that is deadly in the hands of the enemy but undesirable on a playable unit, since the skill is at its most effective when the unit in question takes a crap ton of damage without actually dying.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, perhaps one day. Right now, though, I want to see if I can beat a "new" (new for me, anyway) FE. So far, I've dropped Three Houses (finished later, dropped again in the second run), PoR, Echoes and FE3. I can only hope RD breaks the curse, because this is starting to get ridiculous. Heck, there's a couple of fangames I've been keeping an eye on that will be released soon - if I beat them, I'll have beaten more fanhacks than official games! Not even joking! Some FE fan I am!

Meanwhile, Fire Emblem remains of of the few games that goes over 40 hours that I can reliably complete and I don't actively dislike any of the games I've played (even Conquest, the only game in the series where I outright stopped having fun, though that's more because of the challenge never letting up than anything else) yet I don't consider it one of my favorite videogame franchises. Go figure.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Don't they? I didn't make it that far when I read the thing, myself. I made the mistake of reading it in spanish, so I could talk more freely about it with my friend. The result was that the terrible translation made me quit when they translated "I'm flabbergasted" as a guy saying his name. Not even joking, the incompetent buffoons thought the guy randomly introduced himself mid-sentence as Flabbergasted. It wasn't the only issue I'd been having with the manga (in my opinion its quality kinda plummets after the Golden Age arc), but it was the last straw.

I've already mentioned before all that I knew about Berserk. How dark is in in actuality, from your experience?

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

No, I meant to say she's whole... some, but I misspelled the first part and then fell asleep before I could finish typing the word.

Of course I meant that. What else could I mean?

She's swollen?

SF doesn't consider "swole" to be a word, for some reason. Which is why I decided to look it up. It was also the first time I heard of the swole being used in that context.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Thanks for the thought.

You're welcome.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, in BWS it's been established to be so dangerous that orbs cannot be sold to those who don't practice magic. But then they do it anyway, so what do I know. Maybe Yumil is just a crooked saleswoman. Doesn't give a damn if someone ends up hurt, so long as she gets her moneys. Oh dear, it's another Valery...

Maybe it's just dangerous to use, and it is safe to hold on to? Having to rely on mailmen knowing magic to transport orbs sounds like a faulty transportation system.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

FE in a nutshell.

Sometimes it's the opposite:

Story: Why didn't you just destroy them right then and there?!? You have a magical tome that prevents you from taking damage!!! Destroy them all before Marth sieges!

Gameplay: Oh thank God, Gharnef is gone. Better take Gotoh's advice and nab the starsphere and lightsphere the first chance I get and start training my best mage to be ready for the inevitable battle.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahah... ah, the things you've learned with my LPs. None of 'em good.

I learned that Eugen is a badass and that Kaga did several things first. Maybe that evens out in the end?

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Be disappointed. I am sorry, but no.

Aw, but I guess I'm not surprised. Honestly, I was just wanting to see Carmel give his own variations of this:

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahahahahahah... ahh, you speak as if being a minor is any issue. A good 90% of all teens I've known in my life drank themselves to ethylic coma from the ripe age of 15. Half of 'em smoked tobacco and pot at the same age, too.

My condolences that you had to grown up around such people.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Amazing.

I can see why it attacks 4 times. A tornado for a wind spill is a predictable yet awesome choice.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Okay, so, the map.

Since it's relevant, I listened to Risk of Rains soundtrack through much of writing this update. Then I got distracted by a video about Resident Evil 4's rifle reload animation which lead to me watching a video talking about reload animations in videogames which lead to me watching several videos discussing the various guns in videogames and their real life history.

Also, that's surprisingly intense music for taming horses.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Pretty simple map. We got a bunch of horses. Most of them are out of our reach,  so they'll be captured by the enemy, but we can get them by kiling their carriers. The horses appear back on the map when their carrier dies. Except, guess what: Ruben, being the BWS expert he is, had no idea that the enemies drop the horses they catch. I just saw that there was no D next to the horse in their inventory and figured I'd have to capture the enemies or something.

The result is that I will only get one horse. Wonderful.

Still, a few cheap horses aren't that big of a loss, and there is an incentive to ignore them and rush the boss instead. He's a bounty target, and he'll escape after a few turns. The problem here is that I thought it took him way less turns to escape than it really did. As a result, I threw caution to the wind and just threw all my units in his direction, completely neglecting even trying to kill the horse thieves.

In summary, this is Ruben Knows Nothing: The Chapter.

Thanks for summarizing this map...

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Cause it allowed this guy to steal the show.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

After many months of arduous travel, we have finally made it to our glorious destination!

Months? We've only been on the road for three days...

...okay, hold up, perhaps there is something to see here...

See the bigger picture, lad! With the taking of these horses, we will rise from the ashes! Never again will we be reviled, but rather, we will be feared for our awesome might!

Holy shit, this is the most well-spoken brigand I've ever seen.

It seems this guy missed his calling in the theater.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

As did these guys as extras.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I wonder how Dad and the others are doing these days...

Czene is only here because being deployed in this map is the first step in her journey to promotion.

I take it this is where she gets her horse?

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well done, my boy! Though it is a rather small one...

She's just a foal, boss... She'll get bigger.

Huh?

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahah! I love this guy. He's amazing.

I'm tempted to quote every time this guy appears, because goodness gracious is this guy a riot!

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

For some reason, this makes me wonder if this is what a multiplayer version of Breath of the Wild would be like. At the point of the game when everyone wants a horse.

...You know what? That actually sounds like a fun idea. It would depend on who you're playing with, of course, and you would probably have to be close together due to the technical limitations of loading a giant world, but still.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Go forth and capture more horses! ...Capture them, I say!

Hahah... chill, man. You're getting way into it.

I may say this more than once, but I really wish this game had voice acting. This guy is theatrically hammy and it is amazing.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Huh, most legendary weapons don't even hit 20 might. I checked, and this sucker has the power of Genealogy of the Holy Wars legendary weapons.

At the same time, I also don't know of a Fire Emblem weapon that has a hit rate of 1, or even 10.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahahahahahahah! Even his battle quote is amazing! I love this guy.

It's a shame he isn't wearing a cape. He would probably get a lot of mileage out of one.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

So long, man. You died too soon for us to see your best scenes. But don't worry, I'll be showing them off nonetheless. They'll be at the end of the update. Don't miss 'em, they're priceless.

Once again, I curse this games RNG capture.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, considering a couple of you are using literal letter openers to fight, I imagine intelligence isn't your highest stat.

I see Kaga did joke weapons first.

No seriously, Fates has a quill pen as a dagger weapon. And on the subject of Fates, can I say that the joke weapons were actually useful in that game simply because they could crit? The weapon balancing was hit or miss in those games, but the might of bronze weapons really didn't make of for their inability to crit (even if the critical avoidance boost was nice at times), and it didn't help that weapon ranks weren't the fastest thing in the world to increase, so frying pans and bottles did wonders to win the war.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...okay, so that went well.

Is this where Clifford keeps his horse?

He's not going to live that scene down, is he?

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Once again, I'm sorry. This scene is quite hectic, and it's quite difficult to convey without all the sounds of Czene getting the everloving shit kicked out of her.

I'd say you still did a good job of getting the idea across.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Phew... this is quite the unpleasant scene to watch. Obviously the edits are my doing, but the sounds are... chilling, to say the least.

If you're wondering why Czene let herself be tossed around by a horse, well, the game will elaborate next update. We will also see the consequences of Volcens's decision back in the beginning of chapter 3. All in all, there'll be a good bunch of stuff to see, so look forward to it! Same thread, same forum. Fare well for me, please!

May look up this scene later. I can see how it can be more chilling to watch and hear than to read, and I am curious what the other steps to her promotion are.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Inconceivable! This is our dream, and ours alone! Why would these interlopers-- No, it cannot be...

Bwahahahahahah... I swear, I wish I had been able to spare this guy. He's absolutely hilarious.

No, I will not be defeated here! I shall have vengeance! Alert the others! Show these wretched fools the power of our wrathful retribution!

Seriously, this guy and Erzheimer made Berwick Saga compete with Shadow Dragon over which game I would rather have voice acting for.

The correct answer is both, of course.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Still, worth a shot, I suppose...

Eyyyy he said the thing!

Kaga Did It First!

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahahahahahahahahahahah! Bwahahahahahahahahahahah! Heheh... yes! This man! This man is hilarious. I love this guy. Can we recruit-- oh, right, too late, he died. Oohh, we're the bad guys...

This scene turned from hilarious to horrible to comedy gold in a short amount of time.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Curse it all! I tire of waiting!

Oh, dear... watch out, alternate-universe units! He's coming for y--

AHAHAHAHAHAH! BWAHAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Aaahhhh... hahah... well, he did "end" it himself, in a way... pffffhwahahahahahahah... oh, that is amazing...

Fun fact: Aethin once told me that this was a slight mistranslation, but everyone found it so hilarious that he left it in. I cannot blame him. This is awesome.

See? This is where the having a cape would have been amazing. Dramatically flaring it as he prepares for battle... and then it flies behind him as he decides to make a tactical withdraw.

12 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Then these three reinforcements appear... only to escape immediately as well. Marvelous. I'm so glad I went out of my way to record these scenes.

Maybe instead of banditry they should have been traveling performers.

I know that there is a cost-benefit reason for why Fire Emblem bosses only have a boss and death quote, and that making memorable one-off bosses isn't always feasible. But this adds so much to the game! I kid you not that I was laughing throughout the entirety of this update thanks to Seamus, and I'm going to miss him.

[The Roger The Paladin]

28 minutes ago, Hawkwing said:

Oh thank God, Gharnef is gone. Better take Gotoh's advice and nab the starsphere and lightsphere the first chance I get and start training my best mage to be ready for the inevitable battle.

I personally baited him into the starting area with Caeda and then blocked the bridge with Lena the first time I played. Being normal, Lena's 7 base res plus that juicy 50% growth (until she promotes) meant she had just enough res to tank Imhullu without being damaged. Guess who wasted their time on the map trying to kill a healer that they could not scratch?

40 minutes ago, Hawkwing said:

Thanks for the warning. I'll keep the name in mind when searching for comics.

I think the worst thing is the scenes weren't only graphic, but had nothing to do with the rest of the story. In my opinion, that doesn't make it "adult". That merely makes it bad writing. You don't shoe-horn a sequence into a story unless it a)builds on the characters b)builds on the world or c)is essential to the plot. This was filler.

 

45 minutes ago, Hawkwing said:

Honestly, I was just wanting to see Carmel give his own variations of this:

You know, that really irked me. I found a bear in the forest near the stable you'll come across on your way to Kakariko when I went to investigate that cave and find the loot. I used up all my stamina boosters capturing it. Then I find out I can't keep it because the stable-hand's a bigot and won't accept other species than horses. The sequel better let me keep the damn things I tell you what. I couldn't bear to go through that again, as the idea of keeping other animals is very deer to me. STALHORSE.

53 minutes ago, Hawkwing said:

 

No seriously, Fates has a quill pen as a dagger weapon. And on the subject of Fates, can I say that the joke weapons were actually useful in that game simply because they could crit? The weapon balancing was hit or miss in those games, but the might of bronze weapons really didn't make of for their inability to crit (even if the critical avoidance boost was nice at times), and it didn't help that weapon ranks weren't the fastest thing in the world to increase, so frying pans and bottles did wonders to win the war.

Or you could just kill Garon outright with a damn radish. (In case Ruben's wondering, you can produce a double of your unit like that with the "replicate" skill, learned by the Mechanist class).

 

1 hour ago, Hawkwing said:

 

I know that there is a cost-benefit reason for why Fire Emblem bosses only have a boss and death quote, and that making memorable one-off bosses isn't always feasible. But this adds so much to the game! I kid you not that I was laughing throughout the entirety of this update thanks to Seamus, and I'm going to miss him.

Truly a class act. Even if his men are scumbags.

[BrightBow]

19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Just like Kaga's pink-haired axe woman with a stolen name is ten times better than IntSys's.

Although, there was a particular scene with her in Vestaria that... really disturbed me. It didn't go anywhere, though. Guessing they will elaborate in the sequels. The sequels I'll never see, because they most likely won't be translated. Or maybe they will be. I'm not sure what Dangen Entertainment considers to be "good sales". But I can only hope Vestaria I reached them.

Vestaria Saga 1 was released 3 years before 3 Houses. So Kaga clearly didn't take the name from IS.

As for that scene, I suppose you are referring to the Imps in chapter 19? I wouldn't put any stock in their portrayal of the characters they are imitating. I mean, you've seen how they portrayed Hoelun. Just repeating "Cylthan" over and over and treating to murder any girl who gets to close to him...

Anyway, if someone can say something like "It's a keepsake of my mother. The only thing I treasure more is Lady Lianka", I find it hard to imagine they are just putting on an act.
And if she wanted to get rid of her, she most certainly had plenty of opportunities. For example she could have just stayed hidden when Lianka run out from hiding to confront the Mangulites attacking the desert town. Lianka has no sense of self preservation. There is just no way she is alive despite Hilda's best efforts.
Also, if Hilda dies during her initial appearance when they are chased by bandits, she has a special death quote where she screams for Lianka to run. ...and if Lianka dies first, Hilda's death quote is a defeated "I deserve as much".

Edited May 4, 2020 by BrightBow

[Golb89]

13 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

Is it odd to say that this sold me on the game?

Actually, it isn't: as someone mentioned in that video's comments, it makes for a MUCH better ad to the game than the official ones... which isn't actually saying much as those are apparently so awful that half of the negative reviews the game got are because of them (the other half being for its Sanity system)

13 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

Now if only I knew what having a gigabyte to spare on my phone was like...

Just play on your PC with an emulator: pretty sure that's what the vast majority of mobile gacha games players (myself included) do too.

Edited May 4, 2020 by Golb89

[BrightBow]

1 hour ago, Golb89 said:

Just play on your PC with an emulator: pretty sure that's what the vast majority of mobile gacha games players (myself included) do too.

But if you have a PC, you also have access to decades of non-predatory games. You would no longer have a reason to put up with a gacha.

[eclipse]

1 hour ago, Golb89 said:

Just play on your PC with an emulator: pretty sure that's what the vast majority of mobile gacha games players (myself included) do too.

If you don't mind your emulator of choice breaking whenever an update is out.

I solved this by having a tablet alongside my phone.  Phone's storage is tiny.  Tablet, not so much.

13 minutes ago, BrightBow said:

But if you have a PC, you also have access to decades of non-predatory games. You would no longer have a reason to put up with a gacha.

Choose better gachas.  Look for the main complaints about the game - if it's power creep/PvP, stay away from it.

[BrightBow]

2 minutes ago, eclipse said:

Choose better gachas.  Look for the main complaints about the game - if it's power creep/PvP, stay away from it.

Gachas are inherently predatory. Considering the whole design philosophy is to frustrate people into spending an infinite amount of money.

[eclipse]

1 minute ago, BrightBow said:

Gachas are inherently predatory. Considering the whole design philosophy is to frustrate people into spending an infinite amount of money.

Then they're not for the likes of you.  For those of us who understand the how and why it works, it's perfectly fine (as I'm still F2P in Heroes, and plan on staying that way).

And yes, there's one that I'm playing where spending is designed so that if you're buying, it's either because you really messed up your resource management, or you really want to say thank you to the devs.  The trade-off is time and research.  Lots of both.

[BrightBow]

Just now, eclipse said:

Then they're not for the likes of you.  For those of us who understand the how and why it works, it's perfectly fine (as I'm still F2P in Heroes, and plan on staying that way).

And yes, there's one that I'm playing where spending is designed so that if you're buying, it's either because you really messed up your resource management, or you really want to say thank you to the devs.  The trade-off is time and research.  Lots of both.

Whether one considers a gacha "fine" or not doesn't really change whether it's predatory or not.

[eclipse]

Just now, BrightBow said:

Whether one considers a gacha "fine" or not doesn't really change whether it's predatory or not.

If you can dodge it, it doesn't matter.  And if your will is too weak, then stay away.  It's not a hard concept to grasp.  I mean, we're arguing this in a game with its own RNG (in the form of hit rates, crits, and level-ups), so you're obviously okay with some undetermined outcomes.

[BrightBow]

Just now, eclipse said:

If you can dodge it, it doesn't matter.  And if your will is too weak, then stay away.  It's not a hard concept to grasp.  I mean, we're arguing this in a game with its own RNG (in the form of hit rates, crits, and level-ups), so you're obviously okay with some undetermined outcomes.

This is such a weird conversation. I can't claim to really understand what's going on here.
It pretty much feels as if one responds towards the statement that cigarettes are bad for one's health with the suggestion to just try different brands.

[eclipse]

9 minutes ago, BrightBow said:

This is such a weird conversation. I can't claim to really understand what's going on here.
It pretty much feels as if one responds towards the statement that cigarettes are bad for one's health with the suggestion to just try different brands.

I don't expect you to understand it right now.  It might make sense in the future, it might not.

But what I want you to understand is that being a shit about gacha games in someone else's LP is not the place or time for it.  If all you can do is talk about things you hate. . .then what are you doing with your life?

[BrightBow]

5 minutes ago, eclipse said:

I don't expect you to understand it right now.  It might make sense in the future, it might not.

But what I want you to understand is that being a shit about gacha games in someone else's LP is not the place or time for it.  If all you can do is talk about things you hate. . .then what are you doing with your life?

The only reason we are having this conversation is because you took offense towards me calling gacha "predatory". I most certainly wouldn't mind to focus my attention on Berwick instead of this exchange.

[Golb89]

5 hours ago, BrightBow said:

The only reason we are having this conversation is because you took offense towards me calling gacha "predatory".

Yep! That's right! It definitely isn't because of anything i posted!

Maybe.

And on a completely unrelated note, here is a thing i did:

Source

(Use your own imagination to stick the right faces in the right places)

Edited May 5, 2020 by Golb89

[Benice]

18 minutes ago, Golb89 said:

And on a completely unrelated note, here is a thing i did:

Source

As someone who only played Arknights for a week and a half before I realized that I sucked too much to progress, this is certified accurate on every level.

And the OG was too.

[Saint Rubenio]

Part 19 - TEN!?

Talking:

Spoiler

On 5/3/2020 at 5:43 PM, BrightBow said:

Honestly, might actually be for the best to miss out on those horses. The thieves have such a headstart that you can't catch up to them. So you have to block the escape point, which is right next to the boss. And then the Crooked Axe guys spawn in... it's all quite risky, to say the least. Considering you killed Seamus, who is a very valuable bounty, I'd say this was a pretty good outcome.

I had forgotten how valuable he was. Guess he must've committed some heinous crimes, despite his harmless front... either that, or Valery really needed him dead, for some reason.

 

On 5/3/2020 at 5:46 PM, Pengaius said:

Seamus wasn't even wanted for any crimes, taming horses is completely legal. But you see, Valery has his greasy mitts in the smuggling of wild horses and just wanted to get rid of some of the competition. Lives are just business to him. If your crimes don't make anything for the “Big Man" he'll swap you for somebody who will. 

Ah, there's the reason.

Damned Valery...! He must be stopped. He is the true mastermind behind the events of this game! He is the Gharnef!

 

On 5/3/2020 at 6:10 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

Pretty sure it's almost always blue... though which shade varies a bit. Maybe she dyes it but can't decide on a shade? Because it's either that or it changes due to the Orochi blood (long story I don't fully understand because I actually haven't played KoF '95, '96 and '97, just '94 and '98). I mean, when she's in her full-blown Orochi form it's pink. Other characters who have it change hair-colour in the Orochi form. So maybe when some of the power's flowing it alters her hair? Actually... what if Roger had Orochi Blood to shift between Pink and Green. I've added another rung to my conspiracy ladder.

Roger's hair was pink before he promoted to The Roger. Then it became green, because green is the best color.

As bad as he is, I'm hoping he's not on that level. For the sake of Reyson.

To be fair, Reyson was basically completely safe under Oliver's care. As insane as the guy was, at least he wasn't "rapey" insane. He would never have allowed Reyson to be harmed. I mean, Reyson hit him and the guy didn't even dislike it.

Of course, he also would've kept him caged until the end of his life, so that's not nice.

My brother quotes that all the time. Literally got someone to believe him when he said "Friday is Taco Tuesday", because the poor bastard didn't realize it was a quote or think on the impossibility of that sentence.

Pffff...

Which brings me back to when you played Binding Blade and the time I did know a girl like that in real life. And the carry on when I tripped over her (empty) violin case she left in the middle of the flaming hallway. Come to think of it, she was blonde and had a better (more tolerable) older brother too. Go figure.

...why in the world would she leave her violin case in the middle of the hallway...?

I personally think that's transcended "typo" into flat "improvement". Seriously, if Tear Ring gets a localization at some unknown point in the future through a bizarre twist of fate, and that line is not there, I'm going to be grossly disappointed.

The motherfuckin' Roger The Paladin, bitches.

Years ago, I wrote a creepypasta based off a "Haunted/Hacked" Super Metroid cart. Except I just described the normal incident with Mother Brain's monster and the oversized (ex-baby) Metroid near the end as if I'd completely misinterpreted it and this was something some sick hacker put in. I also flat claimed to have done the one thing no one ever does in those stories... namely turn the console off, when the Metroid latched onto Samus after "killing" the mutated Mother Brain (which I was calling Rethom Niarb because this was allegedly a sick trick and not something that should happen in game). So basically, if one reads it at face value and doesn't know how the game works, it looks legit. If one's played the game, they'll know I claimed to have turned the game off moments before getting recharged to blast that Brain into bits. I really wanted to find that story, but I can't right now.

That is a pretty amazing troll.

Well for those who do not wish to know (this means you Hawking) do not open this.

  Reveal hidden contents

It's often used as an abbreviation of the word "Cuckhold", which in turn is derived from the Cuckoo. You know, that bird that lays it's eggs in another bird's nest? Basically the insult implicates a man has a significant other who is engaged in infidelity, and possibly has children to another man that he believes are his. This is also where the "bunny ears" gesture in photos originate from, because that gesture was originally used in olden times behind a person's back to implicate he was, in fact a cuckhold. (Albeit it was called cuckhold horns). This is even referenced in one of those latter day Simpsons episodes no one watches. Anyway all that aside, it's also a genre of porn and a "fetish" these days. I'm not explaining further than that. Partially out of good taste, partially because there'd be those that argue I misrepresent that side of things due to my wish to know as little about it as possible.

But... no, I did know that! What I lost track of was the conversation, and...

Ah, whatever.

It's not a joke I expected to make. But look at him. He's cold when dealing with them in person. He speaks higher behind their back.

Ward, a tsundere... what a turn of events!

Mind, just because it never happened in the main comics doesn't mean it didn't happen in the MAX line (which to be fair isn't in the main continuity but it's own due to being the "Adult oriented line"). Thing is I really avoided the MAX Line because the last thing I needed to see was him getting prison-raped and him responding by having his entire gang reciprocate on the guy's who got him's girlfriend while he watched as revenge when they got out. Thanks for that Jason Aaron. Remember that quote about critics and "adult writing"? Jason Aaron's Punisher stuff is literally that taken up to 11. He does a bunch of shit that people associate with "mature" themes in such a way it just ends up being vulgar for vulgarities sake. The the critics eat it up and act like it's "next level" writing because it's original. He doesn't even try to do it in a black comedy way. Because if uncensored swearing all the time like the rest of the MAX Punisher wasn't enough, he had to crank the bar up so high (or down so low) I'd never trust another comic with his name on it again. If that sounds like an excessive rant, it's me trying to save people from needing eyebleach. Does this make Jason Aaron my version of Horsemen? Probably.

Yeah, a lot of "adult" things seem to rely solely on swearing and blood. Makes 'em less than mature, in my opinion.

"only meant to cut paper". Man, these guys aren't real bandits. They're literally mailmen who've gone postal.

Pfffffffffffhwaahahahahahahahah...

Is this a first? Your catchphrase on an LP character? Or has Aethin just being reading these too long?

Considering he started to work on Berwick Saga before I started my LPing career, I think it's safe to assume that Kaga Did It First.

How'd that get there before they went in though? Damn it Kaga.

It's... it's the horse that was captured in the first turn...

It's plain art. It's like The Roger The Paladin. If Berwick ever gets an official translation this better stay in. Somehow.

Honestly, if these games got official translations we probably would've missed out on stuff like Plum's milk, 'cause censorship. And that would just've been the worst of tragedies, wouldn't it?

Then again, Vestaria's translation is pretty amazing. Maybe we wouldn't have.

 

On 5/3/2020 at 7:20 PM, Golb89 said:

So you don't know of "Arknights"...

... yet you know of "Inspector Derrick"?!

No, I didn't know about the Inspector either. Both things did get a laugh out of me. I just had nothing more to say about the Inspector.

Holy shit don't kill me!

(Though i'm actually baffled noone else made that reference before)

There is no need to reference. Derrick is good in a vacuum.

That's NOW: until you show us his paralogue, anything could have happened in his past!

Hold up, you cheeky bastard. You dare to doubt my man Derrick? You must DIE!

Maybe.

No, no maybes. Derrick is great.

Basically this (warning: very slightly NSFW content):

  Reveal hidden contents

(That was on AN's subreddit, the same thing happened on GFL's subreddit in January)

Wait... because you got banned elsewhere, you hesitate to put Ward's face on a pokemon meme? I'm not gonna pry, but that seems rather overly paranoid.

Also, wait... the German Football League's subreddit? What was one such as you doing in such a place?

Aww, had i known about this line i would have saved the "Gotta Catch Them All" meme for this update instead.

Well, what can you do. Ya win some, ya lose some.

(Potential "Referencing things Ruben didn't know about #3")

STOP!

(Potential "Referencing things Ruben didn't know about #4" come on, there is no way you don't know this one!)

Well, uh... I don't. In fact, I haven't the slightest idea who those characters are, what game this is or what franchise it belongs to, if any. It looks SNES...?

 

On 5/3/2020 at 8:17 PM, Benice said:

Wise move. Although I do regret picking FE7, at least it's probably easier than FE6, which I was planning to do next. Wait...WHY DO I ALWAYS TALK ABOUT MYSELF?! I MUST CEASE MY SHAMELESS SELF-ADVERTISING! IGNORE MEEEEEE...

No! I refuse to ignore you! Now I shall reply to your whole post!

Because that's why I pay The Roger to do it for me.

Why, you...!

Dang.

I am sorry, but it was the truth.

I don't even know what Roundabout is.

Well...

Unless it's the To Be Continued song:

  Reveal hidden contents

 

Yes (- Roundabout), that's it. Don't worry, it took me like five references to finally memorize it for good. Kinda like Skrimir's existence. Now my new problem is Kyza. Either I have no idea he exists or I think he's Lyra.

And also the guy from Tintin in the Congo.

Congo does not matter.

...ah, the traitor from Broken Ear! You know, the guy who got demoted by General Alcazar and betrayed him? That guy died also. A pretty hilarious death, but he died nonetheless.

If you want to laugh at culture shock, it's funny. Otherwise, no good. Even the art is... I'll just post a panel.

Honestly, though. Tintin's face there is absolutely hilarious. Took me a while to notice him, too.

It's a good thing both the art and story got better after this. I'm pretty sure that this book is the equivalent to FE1 for Tintin.

Well, Tintin's lookin' like FE1 Wrys, so...

I feel like there was supposed to be another book after Flight 742 to Sidney, (or whatever that one was called) because there was a lot of wack stuff in that one that didn't appear elsewhere.

Well, wasn't it the second-to-last book in the series? Difficult to bring back things when there isn't much series left to go.

True.

Who wouldn't, though?

A monster, that's who. Haddock is too lovable.

You didn't get Ward killed by Zalius on chapter 2. You're not THAT bad. (Don't judge me! He critted twice!)

Don't beat yourself up. I myself could perfectly have lost Ward there, I was just lucky he didn't get critted twice.

Ehh, those kinds of things don't interest me. I mean, I've got a fireplace, so I could just stand in front of it and get the same experience.

Don't tell me that! Tell them that!

Let's see...

• Adel got crippled in chapter 2 and chapter 4. Chapter two was him tanking a hit to save Leon's life, chapter four was him getting crippled blocking Izerna from getting crippled.
• Izerna got crippled by that random spearman with a portrait in chapter six then got gunned down by Minas while she limped towards the escape point. I then Pulverized Minas with Axel even though I could have captured her with Reese since I had to restart anyways. (Except that for some reason capturing that portrait spearman triggers a cutscene with Daoud? I always try, but he takes down a whole bunch of people with him every time.)
• Leon in one of chapter 7's side missions; the general dude needed to be protected for the last turn and Leon stepped up to the plate.
• Aegina: The first time was ch. 4's main mission in her very first instance of combat, in which she took 14 damage and got crippled on turn 4. No. 2 was I think in ch.5's side mission, although I don't quite remember, three was chapter 6 where she got hit by the portrait spearman then gunned down by Minas. And pulverized Minas again with Axel. I am not fond of her. The last was chapter 7 on the last turn where she got hit by a crossbow, although it didn't matter because she was already next to the escape point
• Czene...Oh boy...She dodged her first attack as a level six thief in chapter 6's main mission. That is all I'll say. She also got crippled on three of my four attempts on that chapter.
• Dean: Chapter 6's main mission where he tanked the spear knight, but got crippled with 2 hp left.
• Christine has also done terribly; Crippled in chapter 3 defending Orbel after missing an 88 with aim shot, then again in chapter six where she missed two attacks at 82 with a swift bow and got crippled in return by a 28% chance to hit.
• Faye, my one true Berwick Love, got gunned by Minas but survived. And then Minas proceeded to kill her on her next turn. Axel then missed his 88 pulverize and got killed by a crit. And then Reese missed 98 with Gram to kill Mr. Lance knight and then Broke Gram because of the miracle charm thing. And then Minas gunned him down.

Holy shit the Minas massacre, though...

...I do get to kill Minas when we re-capture her, right?

Spoiler

You can always console yourself thinking about the fun times she must be having with Barselphon. You monster.

Serra's great.

What?!

Anyone who says Aegina is basically Serra is wrong, though:

Aegina has more than two magic at level five.

Well, that is true...

I apologize, Benice, for being bad at FE.

Okay, I'll take that apology.

Oh no...I got to the "Birth-giving hips" scene and I never want to see this portrait again.

Heheheheheh... why do you think I picked that portrait?

But why are the frickin' 90 year olds so much better than the ones from the main mission?! These lads were absolute gods!

They were veterans. I wish I had gotten to show that mission... it's pretty epic, birth-givin' hips notwithstanding.

What the everliving heck?! My level 17 swordmaster Faye has seven strength! (Well, nine, but I gave her the Performance enhancing drugs.)

The brackets will probably stop my Faye's growth sooner than later, sadly. Still. Lovin' this so far.

 

On 5/3/2020 at 9:00 PM, Golb89 said:

Why would anyone oppose the communist party though?

Okay, but why are they calling barely 30-year-old anime waifu "old-timer"?

Also, addendum to my previous post:

  Reveal hidden contents

You also need to consider that Serra put on the "rich&spoiled brat™" act to cover up the fact she's just a lowly orphan whose parents will never return (since they are either dead and/or abandoned her, don't remember if that was made clear in her supports), whereas Clarine is the real deal.

(Plus, pretty sure with Serra there was no incest involved)

I'd be lying if I said I remember anything specific about Serra. At this point it's probably been like half a decade since I last touched FE7. Or more.

 

On 5/3/2020 at 10:03 PM, eclipse said:

Seamus must've been a scholar turned brigand or something.

Sounds like an, ahem, educated guess. I'll show myself out now... out of my own thread... yeah...

 

On 5/4/2020 at 2:32 AM, Benice said:

I'm dumb, she actually has 9 strength, 11 post PEDs.

Ahh, I see.

I'd also like to take a moment to rephrase something else:

When I said this, I meant:

Watch your back...You never know when Rick Astley will come knocking.

Youtube just recommended the video to me. Are you the youtube algorithm?

Mark my words, before the end of the LP, I shall get you!

Hah! I'd like t'see ya try!

 

On 5/4/2020 at 5:10 AM, ranger016 said:

Don't worry, your opponents are Disaad and Volcens level strategists, I know you can manage them...

But Seamus is hilarious, rather than hilariously dumb!

Looks like this will be a hilarious update.

That it was, that it was.

Pretty much my reaction when he appeared. Except, he managed to damage himself with the backfire on his first try...

I didn't want to risk it. Thankfully I brought some speedy units.

I had Sherpa and Faramir block both exits, they are hilariously OP in this map, nobody even tried to attack either.

I probably underestimated the map. But at least I didn't bring Derrick. This time. I've done it before, and he was completely useless, but hey, Derrick.

Can't be a Ruben playthrough without weaker units getting good levels...

Nope. Nope it can't be.

Can we spare this guy, he is indeed amazing!

I wish...

No! you monster...

Trying to use Ruby and the harpoon would've resulted in her swift death. Alas, he was too good for his own good...

Pretty much my Sherlock...he is the low hit magnet of this game.

If all this bad luck is compensated by just the right lucky dodge, I'll forgive him.

I am glad it was not corrected, been a while I genuinely laughed out loud while playing a game...

Hahahah, it is a pretty hilarious moment.

 

On 5/4/2020 at 5:30 AM, Hawkwing said:

Is it odd to say that this sold me on the game?

Well, no, it does seem like the kinda thing you'd enjoy. Tons o' blood and cute things. Mostly blood.

Now if only I knew what having a gigabyte to spare on my phone was like... (seriously, a day after getting it, and all the "essential" apps updated and left me with less than 1 Gb left, and I still don't know which of said apps actually help my phone function and which ones I can safely get rid of).

Hahahahahahahah... we could probably stand to swap phones. I've got a ton of free space in mine that I don't use because I dislike all mobile games. That's a bit of a generalization, I'll admit, but I've yet to find a phone game that isn't shit or a worse version of something that can be found elsewhere. Or both, in FEHeroes's case. No offense to all fans. But you should know by now that I am a hateful, despicable, filthyelitistscum individual.

I learned that some birds lay their eggs in another birds nest.

I pretty much blotted out everything else.

No wonder. That's a pretty unpleasant thought.

Thanks for the warning. I'll keep the name in mind when searching for comics.

Yeah, good idea. I'm contributing to the conversation!

I don't know, doesn't sound that ridiculous, but then again, I have no idea how easy or hard it is to unlock supports in either game.

It's not as dumb as Leteena's thing, but it's still pretty bleh. Of course, it'd require I go through PoR. Which, hah, is not happening.

...What the hell did I just watch?

Like, did someone seriously create those models and record some voice acting lines and animate this? I honestly don't know at this point.

Keep in mind, that's not a youtube thing. It's an upload of a TV show that aired on adult swim. Yeh, that thing.

I am both concerned and intrigued.

As usual, you mean?

If anything, I thought it was from the Simpsons, despite knowing little about that series.

The Simpsons popularized "d'oh", but Wario did it first. I think. I dunno, the Simpsons are really old.

Ah, I see. It's odd to say that I can see why Awakening doesn't have the skill, despite the amount of broken combinations and RNG skills there are in that game.

Well, I wouldn't know that.

I still recommend it. It's a good movie in its own right, and has some remarkably beautiful animation (even if it may take a while to get used to).

I did like the animation. It's got a semi-realistic aesthetic to it that I dig.

I'll have to check that out sometime. I'll add it to the list of other shows I need to watch.

Sure, go ahead.

But seriously though. I am bad at watching televisions shows, even when I have all the episodes available to me.

...then read the books, maybe...? Heheheh...

Annoyingly, it's one of those skills that is deadly in the hands of the enemy but undesirable on a playable unit, since the skill is at its most effective when the unit in question takes a crap ton of damage without actually dying.

Those are awful.

Meanwhile, Fire Emblem remains of of the few games that goes over 40 hours that I can reliably complete and I don't actively dislike any of the games I've played (even Conquest, the only game in the series where I outright stopped having fun, though that's more because of the challenge never letting up than anything else) yet I don't consider it one of my favorite videogame franchises. Go figure.

Go figure, indeed... you know, I've always hesitated to put much stock in the notion of any one game "ruining" all similar games for someone, but...

I think Berwick Saga may've ruined FE for me. I find that, after playing this and Vestaria, I've come to subconsciously expect more from a game's map design. It's probably why I've dropped the last four games and am struggling to push through RD. The maps are just... so damn boring. The story, too. I've seen KagaSaga do characters so much better that now I see the support system and can't help but feel that it's the worse alternative.

It's not even a problem with all of FE, but I feel like I've barely made any progress since the days I was LPing FE12 and the only games I'd played were the GBA ones and the DS ones. Those are still the only ones I enjoy, alongside FE5! And FE8 only if I buff the enemies...

I've already mentioned before all that I knew about Berserk. How dark is in in actuality, from your experience?

Well, it has a specific part that is extremely difficult to sit through. Extremely well done, too. Beyond that, it mostly relies on cheap gore and bullying one character to hell and back.

She's swollen?

Uh...

SF doesn't consider "swole" to be a word, for some reason. Which is why I decided to look it up. It was also the first time I heard of the swole being used in that context.

It's internet slang. You know, the kind that makes people with the capacity to feel shame facepalm?

You're welcome.

All right...

Maybe it's just dangerous to use, and it is safe to hold on to? Having to rely on mailmen knowing magic to transport orbs sounds like a faulty transportation system.

But still, there's a difference between letting a courier hold the orb, and letting Reese buy one even though he can't use it.

Sometimes it's the opposite:

Story: Why didn't you just destroy them right then and there?!? You have a magical tome that prevents you from taking damage!!! Destroy them all before Marth sieges!

Gameplay: Oh thank God, Gharnef is gone. Better take Gotoh's advice and nab the starsphere and lightsphere the first chance I get and start training my best mage to be ready for the inevitable battle.

Hahahahah, ah yeah...

You know, you have to try New Mystery one of these days. It's my favorite FE for a reason! Even if I can't really stand the endgame after the fake final boss. It has story problems, but the gameplay is probably the best FE has to offer. And it has good maps! And all the obscure characters I love so much!

I learned that Eugen is a badass and that Kaga did several things first. Maybe that evens out in the end?

Oh yeah, you were introduced to Eugen by them. That totally evens everything out.

Aw, but I guess I'm not surprised. Honestly, I was just wanting to see Carmel give his own variations of this:

Hahah, well, I understand, but sadly, no.

My condolences that you had to grown up around such people.

It wasn't so bad. I was just bullied through elementary school and half of high school.

...I always find it so funny when people say that childhood's the best part of one's life. My life has done nothing but improve since I left high school. I'm still a bit of a shut-in, though. Oh, well. Can't win 'em all. Still better than being a depressed 8-year-old.

I can see why it attacks 4 times. A tornado for a wind spill is a predictable yet awesome choice.

It's a very pretty tornado.

Since it's relevant, I listened to Risk of Rains soundtrack through much of writing this update. Then I got distracted by a video about Resident Evil 4's rifle reload animation which lead to me watching a video talking about reload animations in videogames which lead to me watching several videos discussing the various guns in videogames and their real life history.

You're always so easy to distract, aren't you. Pay attention! There's Berwick Saga to be experienced!

Also, that's surprisingly intense music for taming horses.

With Seamus there, the map probably needed more intense music.

Thanks for summarizing this map...

Cause it allowed this guy to steal the show.

Oh yeah, totally. I wasn't even needed there. I could've let the guy talk and it would've been the funniest update I've ever written.

It seems this guy missed his calling in the theater.

As did these guys as extras.

Yeah... then again, if they did become actors, we wouldn't have gotten to meet them. Such a shame...

I take it this is where she gets her horse?

Eeeyup. But... well, keep reading.

I'm tempted to quote every time this guy appears, because goodness gracious is this guy a riot!

Hahah, yeah. He absolutely is.

For some reason, this makes me wonder if this is what a multiplayer version of Breath of the Wild would be like. At the point of the game when everyone wants a horse.

...You know what? That actually sounds like a fun idea. It would depend on who you're playing with, of course, and you would probably have to be close together due to the technical limitations of loading a giant world, but still.

I don't know much about BotW, but it seems like a fun game. Although, I hesitate to buy open world games, considering I tend to drop all of them before I can finish them. Not saying I don't enjoy them, but the main storyline is something that I tend to avoid in these types of games. Well, not avoid, but when there are so many other things to do, I tend to get distracted.

I may say this more than once, but I really wish this game had voice acting. This guy is theatrically hammy and it is amazing.

Voice acting for this game would've been awesome. Also beyond Kaga's budget, sadly.

Huh, most legendary weapons don't even hit 20 might. I checked, and this sucker has the power of Genealogy of the Holy Wars legendary weapons.

Hoho, holy shit! That's amazing.

At the same time, I also don't know of a Fire Emblem weapon that has a hit rate of 1, or even 10.

It's 10, BWS just has a weird way of displaying hitrates. And there's another one, actually: FE6 eclipse. Yeah, FE6 eclipse has 10 hit. There's a reason everyone laughs at eclipse. Eclipse is pathetic.

Uh, no offense to you, Eclipse. Please don't ban meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

It's a shame he isn't wearing a cape. He would probably get a lot of mileage out of one.

I can imagine he'd spend his days just playing with it. He seems like that kinda guy.

Once again, I curse this games RNG capture.

And once again, all the cool people die while Disaad is still breathing somewhere in Raze.

I see Kaga did joke weapons first.

As with everything.

No seriously, Fates has a quill pen as a dagger weapon. And on the subject of Fates, can I say that the joke weapons were actually useful in that game simply because they could crit? The weapon balancing was hit or miss in those games, but the might of bronze weapons really didn't make of for their inability to crit (even if the critical avoidance boost was nice at times), and it didn't help that weapon ranks weren't the fastest thing in the world to increase, so frying pans and bottles did wonders to win the war.

FE12 has frying pans, dull swords and laundry poles, too.

Is this where Clifford keeps his horse?

Oh, man.

He's not going to live that scene down, is he?

No, no he is not. If I manage to keep Ruby alive, he might get a chance at redemption, but... somehow I doubt it.

I'd say you still did a good job of getting the idea across.

Okay, good.

May look up this scene later. I can see how it can be more chilling to watch and hear than to read, and I am curious what the other steps to her promotion are.

Unless she dies, we'll get to see them.

Seriously, this guy and Erzheimer made Berwick Saga compete with Shadow Dragon over which game I would rather have voice acting for.

The correct answer is both, of course.

That is always the correct answer.

Kaga Did It First!

Always, KDiF.

This scene turned from hilarious to horrible to comedy gold in a short amount of time.

It was an emotional rollercoaster.

See? This is where the having a cape would have been amazing. Dramatically flaring it as he prepares for battle... and then it flies behind him as he decides to make a tactical withdraw.

He probably isn't rich enough for a cape, sadly.

Maybe instead of banditry they should have been traveling performers.

That would've been the better outcome for everyone.

I know that there is a cost-benefit reason for why Fire Emblem bosses only have a boss and death quote, and that making memorable one-off bosses isn't always feasible. But this adds so much to the game! I kid you not that I was laughing throughout the entirety of this update thanks to Seamus, and I'm going to miss him.

Yeah, entertaining one-offs add a lot. I think TRS did them best, personally. There are so many memorable bosses in that game. Then again, the big baddies of that game are also so good... BWS is actually a bit worse off in that regard. That's not to say it's bad, though - the main baddies of this one may surprise you.

 

On 5/4/2020 at 6:40 AM, The Roger The Paladin said:

I personally baited him into the starting area with Caeda and then blocked the bridge with Lena the first time I played. Being normal, Lena's 7 base res plus that juicy 50% growth (until she promotes) meant she had just enough res to tank Imhullu without being damaged. Guess who wasted their time on the map trying to kill a healer that they could not scratch?

I usually tank him with Wrys. It's always a hilarious endeavor.

I think the worst thing is the scenes weren't only graphic, but had nothing to do with the rest of the story. In my opinion, that doesn't make it "adult". That merely makes it bad writing. You don't shoe-horn a sequence into a story unless it a)builds on the characters b)builds on the world or c)is essential to the plot. This was filler.

More writers should take notes from your statement here.

You know, that really irked me. I found a bear in the forest near the stable you'll come across on your way to Kakariko when I went to investigate that cave and find the loot. I used up all my stamina boosters capturing it. Then I find out I can't keep it because the stable-hand's a bigot and won't accept other species than horses. The sequel better let me keep the damn things I tell you what. I couldn't bear to go through that again, as the idea of keeping other animals is very deer to me. STALHORSE.

Pffft... no but seriously, that sounds like a legit flaw. Why let you take and ride special animals if you cannot keep them anywhere?

Or you could just kill Garon outright with a damn radish. (In case Ruben's wondering, you can produce a double of your unit like that with the "replicate" skill, learned by the Mechanist class).

3DS voice acting is so weird.

Also, Grey Old Volcens's running animation is hilarious.

Also also, HORSERADISH!??!?!

Truly a class act. Even if his men are scumbags.

Yeah... I wish I could've spared him.

 

23 hours ago, BrightBow said:

Vestaria Saga 1 was released 3 years before 3 Houses. So Kaga clearly didn't take the name from IS.

I know that, evidently. Kaga did take the name from himself, though. Remember, Jugdral Hilda?

As for that scene, I suppose you are referring to the Imps in chapter 19? I wouldn't put any stock in their portrayal of the characters they are imitating. I mean, you've seen how they portrayed Hoelun. Just repeating "Cylthan" over and over and treating to murder any girl who gets to close to him...

Yeah, you've got a point, but... Hilda's imp was so different in tone. Like, the others seemed like jokes (or were, in Urvan's case), but Hilda's was... weird. Unsettling, even. Much longer than the other, too. Made me legit uncomfortable.

It kinda shook me, but it didn't change the fact that she's my favorite character and that Siegfried dumping her was the most unsatisfying ending ever. I need those sequels, if only so I can see her and Sieg get together.

Honestly, if someone can say something like "It's a keepsake of my mother. The only thing I treasure more is Lady Lianka", I find it hard to imagine they are just putting on an act.
And if she wanted to get rid of her, she most certainly had plenty of opportunities. For example she could have just stayed hidden when Lianka run out from cover to confront the Mangulites attacking the desert town. Lianka has no sense of self preservation. There is just no way she is alive despite Hilda's best efforts.

That much is true.

Also, if Hilda dies during her initial appearance when they are chased by bandits, she has a special death quote where she screams for Lianka to run. ...and if Lianka dies first, Hilda's death quote is a defeated "I deserve this...".

Actually, I'm pretty sure she tells Lianka to run if she dies at any point, except maybe when she's in the desert with Siegfried. Also, that second death quote is absolutely horrible.

 

13 hours ago, Golb89 said:

Actually, it isn't: as someone mentioned in that video's comments, it makes for a MUCH better ad to the game than the official ones... which isn't actually saying much as those are apparently so awful that half of the negative reviews the game got are because of them (the other half being for its Sanity system)

Well, phone games aren't really my thing, I'm afraid.

Just play on your PC with an emulator: pretty sure that's what the vast majority of mobile gacha games players (myself included) do too.

Good ol' Bluestacks. The only time I ever used it was to play five minutes of Jetpack Joyride tons of years ago. Good times, good times.

 

11 hours ago, BrightBow said:

gacha bad

11 hours ago, eclipse said:

no u

All right... I'll admit, I'm rather proud that I've enough of a fanbase that I'm starting to get completely unrelated flamewars on my comment section. Still, I'm going to give my opinion on this topic, and then let's all calm down, shall we?

 

My take on this matter is this: I won't deny that there are gachas out there where you can remain F2P and be fine. However, the very core of the concept hinges on at least incentivizing the player to pour money down on the devs to get to places faster and more conveniently, which inevitably leads into inconveniencing F2Ps at least slightly.

Non-gacha games have other ways to let you enjoy their full content (unlockables, progression, etc.), as long as you get past the initial paywall. Most of the time, anyway, or so I'd like to think.

So yeah. Personally, I'm against gachas. It's your money, do what you want with it, but as for me? I'd rather buy the whole stack of cards and use them as I wish than pay to pull each individual card from a box and pray to dear lord that I don't pull the same card twice.

 

Not to mention the fact that these games often go after children and other vulnerable groups that are easy to manipulate into raining cash down on the devs. Same deal as lootboxes. At its worst, gacha is basically concealed gambling for kids that are easily manipulated and parents that don't know better. Shady practices, in my opinion.

I'm not saying that ALL of them do this, but it seems to me like it's pretty easy to go there, in this genre.

 

All right, got that out of my system. Now, let's go back to Berwick Saga, a game that I am sure we can all agree is better than all other games. And if you disagree, then you are a horseman.

5 hours ago, Golb89 said:

Yep! That's right! It definitely isn't because of anything i posted!

Maybe.

The crests horsemen are to blame.

And on a completely unrelated note, here is a thing i did:

Source

Anime girl me wasn't what I expected to wake up to. But I think I love it. Holy shit this is awesome.

Also, doctor? Is this a coincidence, or did you go out of your way to search for a doctor OC because of the four times I've mentioned I'm a main medic in TF2? 'Cause If so, this is... pretty damn great! Thanks!

...oh man the Tom reference. Last friggin' chapter death... that seriously hurt. The only thing that disappoints me slightly is that you didn't change the @ thing below. Oh, that's the name of the OG artist. Of course, I should've known that...

(Use your own imagination to stick the right faces in the right places)

I still don't understand this. You edited like four different roasts against me but you didn't put my face on the anime girl. Why is that? Did you get banned because someone was angry that you put their face in the wrong place? Have you SEEN the places I've put MY face? If anything, I should be banned for disrespecting me constantly!

...Hmm... though, thinking about it, I suppose I, too, would rather see a cute anime face over mine...

 

5 hours ago, Benice said:

As someone who only played Arknights for a week and a half before I realized that I sucked too much to progress, this is certified accurate on every level.

You need to play Arknights to know that this is accurate? It has a horseman in it!

And the OG was too.

Ah, you mean... you mean to the game, right... hm. Yeah, I'm... not the center of the universe here, of course... Uhh... I-I guess it is?

 

Ranting:

Spoiler

Last time, we caught a horse. This time, we're taking it to Carmal so he can check it out. You know, the guy who's actively losing money from us catching that horse. He's a saint.

What do you think of that one? Is she fit for riding?

She seems to be quite tame. I doubt she would put much of a fuss at all if you saddled her.

But... she's already saddled! Look at the map sprite, it has a saddle on it!

What good fortune...

Just after Carmal returns to the stables, Czene arrives with her pale steed.

Czene...? Wait, that horse--

 

Holy shit! Carmal, the horse ain't the problem! Czene is dying!

And no, that's not my invention. Czene is so badly hurt, that she passes out immediately after making it to the stables.

Some time must've passed. Seems Carmal let her rest in his own house. What a good man.

Ah, you're awake again, eh? You had me worried there! I know you love horses, but you've got to take care of yourself first!

Hehe... Sorry about that. No matter what I did, I couldn't get her to calm down enough that I could patch her up...

Soooo yeah. The implication here is that she dragged the horse all the way from Seamus's fort to Navaron, getting beaten up by it the whole way. I'm not sure if to call her heroic or foolish. Maybe a bit of both?

Wait...! Where is she?! Is she all right?

Don't worry, she's just sleeping. She's lying down, mind you, but she's a young one, so she'll be fine.

You really mean it? Thank goodness...

To care even for an injured horse with such a passion...

......

(Oh, drat... Should I not have said that...?)

Um... Y-Yes, well... What's most important above all is that both of you are safe, and---

Mr. Carmal...

Yes?

I have a favor to ask.

What is it? Don't be shy.

I want to take care of her myself, but I can't do that right now. I'll pay you, of course...

Oh? Don't be ridiculous, Czene.

...You're right, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked.

Ah, a shame. Seems like he isn't such a saint after all.

Huh?

The stables here are full, so I'll take her to my ranch at home.

Never mind. Saint Carmal, we should call him. Also, I like how they're dropping details about his character. Turns out this is Carmal's character arc after all.

Is that all right with you?

Y-Yes! Of course!

Although, I've got to manage the shop here... I'll leave this to my boy.

Huh?

We've seen this guy before. This is his proper introduction.

Czene, this is my son Enoch. He's been helping out with the horses here at my ranch since he was a boy. I'll leave your newfound loved one in his capable care.

Huh...?

Thank you, Mr. Carmal!

You've just volunteered. That's what's going on here.

Valery... I killed a good man. Give me moneys.

Ah, yes, him. A terrible, terrible man. Terrible for one of my side businesses, too... Thank you, friend, for your service to the "community".

......

Tell me, that man, General Ward... how is he doing these days? Doin' fine? No health problems, or anything like that?

...Valery...! What are you trying to say!?

Well, y'know, he's old... accidents happen. Especially on the battlefield. Who knows. Perhaps the tactician could slip up slightly, hmm?

Valery, even if I wanted to do that for you (which I don't), I couldn't. He's a lord. He'd just cause a game over if I did what you suggest.

Game... over...? The rumors are true, it seems. You really are insane...

I-Insane!? I am not--

Well, it's all the same for me. My offer still stands, friend. It would only benefit you to form a friendship with me, don't you think?

Ah, damn you, Valery! One of these days, I'll get you! One of these days...!

Hmph... don't bump your head on the way out, tactician.

...grrrrr...!

Erzheimer. Erzheimer, I can understand.

Please, let me take a closer look! Come, come!

Please, for the love of God, don't ever swing this.

Thank you so much!

Time to move on!

We're in a new location with Roswick. I like to call this the map room, for reasons that should become obvious soon enough.

I do not mind. What is this urgent matter you wanted to speak to me about?

The Highland Duchy's capital, Myuhen, fell to the enemy yesterday.

No...! Have we heard any news regarding Duke Warrenheit?

It seems he fell in battle. They say he stayed to defend the castle to the bitter end.

So, yeah. Volcens's decision to be an idiot and send no reinforcements to Warrenheit has resulted in the obvious outcome: we've lost. It's a shame we never got to meet Duke Warrenheit in person, but oh well. No game is perfect. Gotta have a flaw or two in there so the rest of the medium has a chance to compete.

How terrible... If we had only sent reinforcements to him in time...

......

What of the League's troops who were stationed at Myuhen?

Many of them fell during the attack as well, I am afraid.

They are currently fleeing here to Narvia en masse.

 

 

This is a cool thing the game does. To make the war as easy to follow as possible, we'll regularly get updates on the status of the frontlines through these map sequences. Expect to see more images than usual during these scenes.

Anyway, the last things we heard of the war were that Valemtine had fallen, Serenia was taken over by a traitor, and the forces of the League were defending the Highlands.

 

Now... we're not doing so hot.

 

 

In addition, there are many bands of savage raiders dwelling in the plateaus who rob travelers. All in all, there is little chance our allies will arrive in one piece...

I asked His Majesty,

Which was a mistake. You should learn from the Church, and just work around him.

and he was absolutely furious, calling them traitors for leaving the front line.

 See, Roswick?!

I cannot comprehend him... He would forsake his own men who have fought loyally for him? When I went to Myuhen on our mission to deliver supplies, they were fighting desperately to hold the line. So many died for our country, trusting to the very end that King Volcens would come to their aid...

H-Hoo! Wow! Goodness, Reese! I didn't know you had this much fury in you, man! Just a tidbit, though. It's not his throne. He's borrowing it from Roswick.

That's enough, Lord Reese! How many times must I warn you? Words like that will get you killed!

Roswick makes a good point, though. Volcens already despises Reese. If he happened to hear so much as a single word from that whole tirade, he'd have our blondie boy executed on the spot...

...Forgive me, Your Grace. I forgot myself...

Despite His Majesty's reluctance, I was able to persuade him to give the retreating forces assistance. He has also agreed to pardon them for fleeing the front lines. However...

However...? What did His Majesty say?

Well, it's official: Volcyboy is sending us on a suicide mission. Again.

......

I had intended to send Vanmilion, but my hands are tied... Forgive me.

You needn't apologize, Your Grace. ...It will be the honor of the Knights of Sinon to accomplish this task.

I see... There is one more stipulation, from Lord Herman himself. After ensuring the retreating soldiers' safety, you must return here within five days.

Again, I am sorry...

Not another Arbitrary Volcens Time Limit! Herman, you bastard of a bastard...!

If that is what His Majesty wishes, I will carry out this mission. Excuse me, Your Grace. I must prepare my troops for battle.

 

At least someone appreciates Reese's efforts. Of course, it's only natural that Roswick would, considering Reese and his army have been solving all of his populace's problems for months now.

Suddenly, we've warped to the abbey.

Just as suddenly, we are introduced to this character.

Is this a joke? Aren't you a sister of the Temple of Veria?

I'm, well... I'm not exactly a sister... I'm just here... helping out, I suppose?

Nice. Now that is believable.

Sister Maria! A moment, please!

Maria dashes to the girl's side, to help her out.

Who is this girl? Is she a member of this abbey?

Miss Saphira is... yes...? I mean, no!

She does about as great a job as the girl herself.

No, Sir Ward, Saphira is not a sister at this abbey.

R-Right! I used to be here, but then I got kicked out!

Right... that makes a whole lot of sense, now doesn't it?

But my grandpa's sick at home, and I can't afford his medicine...

...So you want to work for us? Sister Maria, is Madam Quescria aware of this girl's predicament?

Y-Yes...? I mean, no! That is, um... Oh, I have no idea...

This situation isn't suspicious in the slightest. Please, do not pay any mind to the extremely suspicious... everything.

...Regardless, someone like yourself should not be on the battlefield. I advise finding another line of work.

Why, because I'm too young? You seem to have no qualms with taking Sister Izerna with you!

Dude, I've deployed her like twice! I do have qualms with taking her with me! She's bad!

Madam Quescria and I have an arrangement with regard to Sister Izerna, and...

Ahahahahahahahah... Reese is surprisingly emotional today. That is to say, he's showing more emotion than he usually does. As in, none.

Fine, then! If you won't take me, I'll find someone else who will! I bet General Palmer from the Verian Army would hire me!

Oh, God! Ward is right, we cannot allow Kaga the chance to do more of his rapey scenes!

What would you have me do, Ward? I'm not going to let a little girl like her fight on our front lines!

She can't be asking for much as a hiring fee, considering her position. We could simply hire her and then keep her in the rear guard. She could help out Sister Izerna and keep her company, as well.

This is the game's hint that it's exceedingly important to hire Saphira, even if you won't use her. You know, if... everything else about this situation didn't clue you in that she's important.

Young lady, how much would it be to hire your service?

......

...w... wha...?

A-A million?! Are you out of your mind?!

Oh, is that too high...? I'm afraid I'm not great with money... How about just ten denarii?

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahah...! Ahahahahahahah! This line never fails to crack me up. I just find it absolutely hysterical that Ward gets angrier when she asks for ten denarii than when she asks for a million.

Eugen would probably have thrown the ten coins at her face and permanently conscripted her before Runan had enough time to say "that's not a fair price." You know, I'd love to know what all these comments about what Eugen would do look like for the people who haven't played TRS or watched my LP of it. Just me randomly going on and on about some guy called Eugen who's apparently the best thing since sliced bread.

Aaah! N-No! I'm so sorry...!

Saphira rushes back to whisper with Maria, even though they're both still well within earshot of Ward and Reese. Though I like to believe that Ward's "TEN" scream just blew them both away.

I'm not sure, Your Eminence,

Perfect! Brilliant! Excellent! Absolutely magnificent! Exemplary! Marvelous! Lovely! Formidable! You're both so dumb! They're right fucking there!

but I think most sisters are paid a few hundred denarii per month...

What are you whispering about? If you want to have a job, then look your employer in the eyes!

...So we're just going to pretend she didn't call her "Your Eminence", Ward...?

Well, what else can we do, Lord Reese? If we let her go to General Palmer like this, it'd be like serving her up to King Volcens on a silver platter. Or worse...

Of course, you're right, Ward.

I'll be waiting here, if you want to hire me!

......

......

Psst! Hey, Maria! I did a good job, didn't I? I fooled them, didn't I?!

Shhh! H-Hush, Your Eminence! They still haven't left!

...oh, for goodness's sake...

...Ten denarii, she said! The gall...!

That was a fun scene.

A letter and a package have arrived for you, Lord Reese. I have left them on the desk in your room for you.

Eyyy, it's Reese's sister's next love letter to Reese, her brother!

I am happy to report that I have brought this mongrel to justice personally.

He must pay for the tears he made in my skirt with those sharp claws of his! Fabric isn't cheap, you know!

And so, I have decided that the most fitting punishment for this adorable kitten is to be my pet, that I might teach the little rascal some manners. You'll let me keep him, right?

D'awwwwwwwwww... that is legitimately cute. But I'm not sure why she needs Reese's permission, rather than Bernstol's.

Father has set aside additional funds for your mission. He requests only that you use the money prudently.

O-Oh! More Bernstol funds! Dad, you're the greatest.

Please take care, Reese. I pray for the day that you can return home safely into my arms.

And more than your arms, hmm, Lynette?

May Mother Veria bless you in all that you do.

Love, Lynette.

It's a bit less than last time, but look at all that cash! I could buy furniture! Hmmm... but, no. There is one piece that I'd like, actually, but I can get it later, as I won't need it till the next chapter.

That taken care of, it's time for the mission's citizen requests. Starting with Thunder Emblem: Three Axes.

 

Look, it's Axesman! And Spearsman to his side. Pejj is actually the only shopkeep that, to my knowledge, has no requests or sidequests that involve him. It's a bit weird, but I do enjoy that there's someone who doesn't need Reese to solve all of his life's problems.

 

Welcome... *sigh*

That was quite the sigh, Reiss!

Oh, it's you, General Ward...

There's no need to be so glum. What ever could be the matter?

Man, let me tell you... Just the other week, I buy these three rare axes back in the Highlands. But wouldn't you know it, on the way back, we get robbed!

That is unfortunate, but at least you made it away with your lives. Some are not so lucky.

For all I went through to find those axes, maybe it would've been better if they'd killed me anyway...

Were they truly that valuable?

Not expensive per se, but you can't find anything like them around here, so I paid top price for them.

Hello, I am Reiss, axe vendor, and axes are my whole personality! Have I mentioned AXES!?!!

And boy, were those some fine axes...

What kind of axes were these?

So get this: they're called Volcano, Glacier and Nimbus Axes. Catchy, right? What makes 'em special is that they've been enchanted by an alchemist.

How interesting! That is certainly a rarity.

That's why I was so eager to get my hands on them. To lose my new favorite axes so soon, it's too cruel...

......

Ah, there it is! How convenient that it's those bandits and not other bandits!

Bandits in Goran, you say...?

Oh, so you're not gonna tell him you're going there and could try to recover his axes? Yet you'd tell Nieves that you're going on a super duper secret mission for the Apostle to Demias Forest? Okay, then. Guess Reiss gets to sulk until we get back with his beloved axes.

What kind of favor would that be?

It's actually a request that I've asked of lots of the knights stationed in the city these days. I've just got to get my hands on those old shields that some of the Imperial troops have been using!

Why would you want an Imperial shield, and an old one at that?

They went obsolete decades ago. Leftovers from a bygone age, you might say. They're made of big sheets of iron hammered and welded together. Thing is, they're so darned heavy, they're hardly worth lugging around.

What exactly do you intend to do with such a shield, then?

By my estimates, I think it'll take three of those shields to craft all the things I want right now.

Oh, I see! You want to use them as materials.

That's right! Iron ore's a rare commodity in these parts, and smelting's expensive. It's much more cost-effective to just re-use old iron that nobody wants anymore and make something new.

Interesting! If that's the case, I will do what I can to help you with this errand. I shall ask Lord Reese's soldiers to keep an eye out for old-looking shields among the Imperial troops.

You're a doll, Lady Tianna. Thanks for always helping out.

 

That was pretty simple. Next up... wait, Barker?

Oh, what will I do?!

......

Excuse me, madam... Have you seen a bound volume of poetry lying around nearby? It would be about yea big...

Poetry...?

Ah, allow me to introduce myself. I am Adenau, a peddler from the Northern Lands, as you call them. Recently, I lost a book of poetry that I cherish deeply. It is titled "Barker's Poetry." Did I drop it or forget it somewhere along my travels? I know I had it last night, so I can only imagine that I lost it at some point earlier today...

Is this book truly so irreplaceable?

I see... Have you retraced your steps?

Yes, this morning I was peddling my wares at the next town over, and then I went through Goran... Ah! That's it!

I must make haste to Goran!

Please, don't. I don't need any more green escorting missions. The priests were fine because they helped by healing. I doubt you can do the same.

Wait a moment, please.

My apologies, but I really must hurry onward...

It will soon be too dangerous to go to the Goran Plateaus.

Why would that be?

The entire Goran region is about to become a battlefield.

T-That cannot be!

League troops fleeing from Myuhen are passing through the plateaus while being pursued by the Empire. To go to Goran at the present time would certainly be a fatal mistake.

B-But I cannot simply abandon my book of poetry...

At the very least, please wait until the Empire leaves the area.

But still...

Now, then... What to do...?

......

And... that's it? We're not gonna tell this guy that we're going to fetch his book, either? All right, then... guess we're all feeling in a jerkish mood today.

Anyway, the citizen requests are done. We only have one character event to go. If Axel is my favorite character in the game, Owen probably takes second place. I can only hope I keep him alive long enough for you to see why.

 

But when I saw your beauty, I could not help but be enchanted. I thought perhaps the Goddess herself had come down from the heavens!

Oh, my...

One of Owen's character traits is that he's a bit like Saul, only he's more of a harmless philanderer than a dangerous stalker. It's not his main thing, though. His main thing is what makes him one of my favorites from this game. Is it too much to ask that I get to show it off?

Come off it, Owen. Do not bother Lady Tianna with your silly teasing.

This is no tease! My lips sing naught but the music echoing from the depths of my soul!

Father Lendel, is this... interesting man a new priest here at the temple?

To my surprise, he has enthusiastically volunteered to serve alongside the Berwick League's armed forces.

It is as Father Lendel says. I would be honored if I could even save the life of but a single soldier.

And I would be honored to take you along for better heals than Izerna could ever hope to achieve!

How splendid... I will inform my superior.

...However! There is a condition to any services that I might render unto you.

What is this condition?

Okay, that is... ominous.

Please allow me to withdraw from any battlefield conflicts early so that that does not happen. If I do not...

...Yes?

Ha ha ha, how very interesting! I must say, I have never met a priest quite as unusual as you...

Ah ha ha ha! I shall take that as a compliment! I look forward to working with you, my beautiful goddess!

All right, it's all done. Time to check out some newcomers.

First off is Saphira! Saphira is... horrendous at base. She has no light skill, is level 1, has bad magic... she also has a skillset. Is it a good one? No.

- Miracle is nice, at least.

- Versatile allows her to keep equiping holy after healing. Another skill that helps her survivability.

- Imbue is pretty useless. It only heals something like 10 HP, and if she's getting hit you'll probably want her to get the hell outta dodge, not stay still to heal.

So yeah. Saphira is, as things stand, even worse than Izerna. I will hire her because the game demands that I do. But don't expect me to field her often, especially when I have...

I may not be as fit or imposing as some, but I thought I'd try my hand at this mercenary business. I am able to use both healing and anima magic, so I am certain I will be able to pull my weight. You can leave the healing to me. My services will cost 760D.

Ahh, now there's a proper healer! Think of him as this game's Lee. With the best base magic and light level of any other healer, Owen is capable of much more robust heals than the rest. He can also fight with all three types of anima magic, although his base skill on all three types is pretty garbage. His starting inventory is also worth mentioning: he has physic, which is rather weak in this game (it has a range of 3 hexes, period), but it's still much appreciated when all the healers have 3 move; escape allows him to send any unit away to safety, detoxify cures poison and pacify cures berserk. He can't give any of these things away, so if you want to use them, you have to take him along.

He has less skills than Saphira, but they do more for him than Saphira's mediocre skills ever could.

- Expert makes him able to use virtually every single non-prf orb in the game. Even fortify, with a rank of 18 that would be extremely difficult for the other two healers to reach, is no big deal for this guy.

- Return allows him to escape from any map at any time. This doesn't just allow him to plink away if he gets into dire trouble, it also makes him the indisputable best healer in escape maps. His 3 move won't be an issue, as he can just leave whenever he pleases.

So far, it seems Owen is a flawless healer, doesn't it? Well, Owen has a couple of important flaws to keep in mind. For starters, he's a mercenary, and not a cheap one. Unlike the likes of Faramir and Clifford, his recruitment is fixed at one particular point of the game, and it's extremely late. He'll likely be tied for the last mercenary you'll permanently recruit. His bulk also leaves a lot to be desired, even if it is a bit better than Izerna's or Saphira's.

And then, there's the turn limit. Yes, he's a nearly flawless healer, and Return ensures you don't have to rush to complete maps before turn 20, as you can just send him away when the time comes. However, if you let him remain beyond turn 20...

...Well, let's just say that there's a reason he has this thing. Since it's one of his personal possessions, you cannot give it to Halfmann. You also cannot drop it because of the rare item tag, and at S durability, it's virtually unbreakable.

In a few words, it's impossible to get rid of this orb. Notice that it's dark magic. Yeah... Can you see where this is going?

Hey, as long as we're in the temple, let's pay Almuth a visit.

Mm? A gift, for me? Gimme gimme gimme!

Hit! It's not much hit, but it's hit! Thank you ever so much, Almuth!

He's not exactly a newcomer, but we can find Sherpa at the guild. Pretty sure he was already there after 3-1, but I didn't need him for Seamus.

If you'll have me, of course. Come talk to me anytime. All right, you give me 2200D, and we can get started.

Very well, let's get us some mercs.

Ah, well. It was worth a shot. As you can see, we cannot do this.

Hmm... uhhh, Paliztschztsztchchztzchztch has the last ingredient we need for the blizzard orb!

What the hell, let's do it. After giving Lumiere all of the ingredients, the sound of boiling water plays over this nice little screen, and...

Boom! We've made our first atelier item! There are rewards for finishing all the items for each craftsman, but they're... not easy to get, that is for sure. You miss a single material and you're shit out of luck, basically. I did get Lumiere's reward in my second run, but not Orlando's.

Aegina cannot use the blizzard orb, so Owen holds on to it for the time being.

I also buy him a thunder orb for extra range and a hellfire orb for the sweet 20 might. I suppose this is as good a time as any to explain the differences between the schools of anima magic.

I explained before how standard wind has low might, but multiple strikes and pretty decent hitrate.

Fire has higher might and accuracy, but only one strike. Both of these schools are restricted to 1 range, save for one wind orb (Pallas Riana) and one fire orb (which is craftable at the atelier).

Thunder has middling might and accuracy comparable to wind (without the extra strikes). However, it is the only school that has accessible 2 range.

Now, keep in mind, magic in this game is kinda like dark magic in FE - that is to say, there are a few standard orbs, but then all the rest are outliers that work differently, have special perks, etc. For instance, wind has blizzard, which only has one strike but a huge injury hitrate and better might than most standard wind orbs; and the Pallas Riana, which has 2 range despite being wind. Thunder has a 1 range orb that has a high cripple rate and a brave orb (some of you may've noticed it at the atelier, it's dire thunder). Fire has a 2 range orb and the game's equivalent of Aura - a magical nuke that obliterates just about anything. I mean, heck, the healing school of magic has offensive orbs!

What I'm trying to say is, take these explanations with a grain of salt, because we'll find a good few orbs that will break these conventions.

 

By the way, you may've noticed that Lendel has a repairstone for sale. That is awesome, but we still haven't used the one we stole from Hamilton's supply carrier, so we're in no hurry to get it.

And it's prepping time! Adeleon gear up, as they'll be coming to the mission. Or maybe they won't. I'm not sure. We'll see.

Ward grabs a new shield.

Reese hands over the eagle brace to Axel, since he needs the extra hit the most.

Sylvis takes the sniper arrows from Sherlock, as he'll most likely not be deployed this time.

Kramer hands over his entire inventory to Sherpa. Remember how, when I reviewed Kramer, I said that he was completely outclassed by another unit? Well... this is it. Sherpa is promoted Kramer, down to their overworld sprites. It's kind of disheartening to try and use Kramer when the end result is basically just a worse Sherpa.

At the atelier, I treat Owen to the daily special.

Aaaaand I think that's it. I tried a few other combinations, but today's food selection is pretty horrendous.

Yeah, I agree, Leon. It's time to end the update.

Please excuse the wonky formatting. That's the deal for the next chapter.

That's also been the deal for today! Next update, we will finally get a different map theme for the main mission, and it's one of my favorites, too. Really, not to diss the first theme, it's awesome and all, but from here on we'll be getting some kickass map themes. Look forward to those! Also look forward to a really interesting and unique map, and hopefully to no deaths! Whatever comes to pass, I hope I can count on your presence, all. Farewell! Bye! Auf wiedersehen!

 

Death count: Christine
                        Esteban

* Unavailable

Capture count: 0

Reset count: 0

 

Current perfect streak: 2 maps

Best perfect streak: 6 maps

 

 

[eclipse]

Well, now you're totally gonna have to show us what happens when Owen goes beyond his ten-hour thingy!

I'm gonna take a stab at it and say

Spoiler

he transforms into an enemy with a stupidly good orb

 

[BrightBow]

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

and he was absolutely furious, calling them traitors for leaving the front line.

War must be going really well if Volcens can just dismiss valuable troops like that.
Either way, it's pretty rich coming from the guy who fled the capital when the Empire was at his doorstep.
Of course being the king, he is 100% entitled to be a hypocritical pile of particularly smelly fecal matter.
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Does no one in this city ever workshop their cover stories?
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Well, let's just say that there's a reason he has this thing. Since it's one of his personal possessions, you cannot give it to Halfmann. You also cannot drop it because of the rare item tag, and at S durability, it's virtually unbreakable.

It's probably the one weapon that is completely unbreakable, considering it's an Orb, which normally list their remaining uses rather then a durability rank.
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

He can also fight with all three types of anima magic, although his base skill on all three types is pretty garbage.

So are his growths. 10% for all three of them. In fact, he is the only character who has a 10% weapon growth in anything. So yeah, he isn't exactly a good substitute for a dedicated mage.
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

His bulk also leaves a lot to be desired, even if it is a bit better than Izerna's or Saphira's.

On the bright side, he does have the hidden Robust skill. So does Saphira for that matter. Pretty handy to have considering that if you are so frail, most hits will take much more then 50% HP,  resulting in a pretty good chance for a cripple if you are a player unit.
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

- Expert makes him able to use virtually every single non-prf orb in the game. Even fortify, with a rank of 18 that would be extremely difficult for the other two healers to reach, is no big deal for this guy.

Well, Izerna gets Expert at level 6 too. But yeah, she has ways to go before she can use Fortify without a failure chance.
 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hold on. Axel? Doesn't he get a movement penalty virtually anywhere on that map since he is Infantry instead of Light Infantry?

Edited May 5, 2020 by BrightBow

[The Roger The Paladin]

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...why in the world would she leave her violin case in the middle of the hallway...?

That's what I've spent over a decade trying to work out.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That is a pretty amazing troll.

Also I got to use the term "hyper-realistic drool" to describe 16 bit saliva. So you know.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It's... it's the horse that was captured in the first turn...

I meant the wound. Czene finds it wounded even if you get there before the scene of them beating it. But they haven't beat it yet... so the wound shouldn't be there.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, uh... I don't. In fact, I haven't the slightest idea who those characters are, what game this is or what franchise it belongs to, if any. It looks SNES...?

Final Fantasy IV. Long story short, Tellah, the Sage calls Edward a "spoony bard" because his daughter had ran off with said bard and gotten killed in an airship raid. Except if you go off what I've heard, the line was "you" in an inflection that was the equivalent to calling someone a "son of a bitch" in the Japanese version. Except that didn't translate real well, because a simple "you" in text doesn't carry the hatred Tellah had for Edward. Nor could they go the full mile in a Super Nintendo game and actually call him a son of a bitch. So we got this, which was so popular for it's lunacy it was used in the remakes, even when other altered lines were fixed.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes (- Roundabout), that's it. Don't worry, it took me like five references to finally memorize it for good. Kinda like Skrimir's existence. Now my new problem is Kyza. Either I have no idea he exists or I think he's Lyra.

I remember Kyza as the gay Laguz who has a crush on Ranulf and doesn't talk much. I mean that's his thing right? A lot easier to remember than Skrimir was.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The Simpsons popularized "d'oh", but Wario did it first. I think. I dunno, the Simpsons are really old.

Just by virtue of the fact that it's a mishearing and the Simpsons are older than I am, I'd say they did it first. But never so memorably that a misquote is remembered as reality. Then again... technically Wario didn't either. DAMN IT.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I don't know much about BotW, but it seems like a fun game. Although, I hesitate to buy open world games, considering I tend to drop all of them before I can finish them. Not saying I don't enjoy them, but the main storyline is something that I tend to avoid in these types of games. Well, not avoid, but when there are so many other things to do, I tend to get distracted.

One of the dumbest self-imposed challenges I ever made was trying to "iron man" Breath of the Wild. Which is to say, if I die, I delete the file and start over. It resulted in a lot of dying and restarting. Most notable one being one where I got knocked over a cliff before getting the hang glider. No way to save myself... only attack I'd been hit with all run. My caution meant nothing. One damn wrong move was death. Kind of gives you an appreciation for how bad the odds are on these quests video game protagonists do.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That is always the correct answer.

"Would you rather eat roadkill or the grease at the bottom of the dumpster?"
"both"

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

More writers should take notes from your statement here.

It's advice Stan Lee once gave me. No pun there.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Pffft... no but seriously, that sounds like a legit flaw. Why let you take and ride special animals if you cannot keep them anywhere?

Because then you have the joy of catching them AGAIN. Because the game only wants to let you consistently use horses. Not that there's any benefit to using a bear... they kind of run off at first opportunity, just growl if you put the spurs in instead of speeding up, try to throw you off every so often because they're a bear and not truly broken... really apart from looking cool they're inferior to a horse in every way. Stalhorses get the spurs and the benefit of being a skeletal horse... but kind of die if they come in contact with sunlight. Basically, you get no real reward from using non-horses, and every damn punishment. So you can bet I do it almost exclusively.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Holy shit! Carmal, the horse ain't the problem! Czene is dying!

Well... I mean maybe I should have seen that coming after the last ending. But damn.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, yes, him. A terrible, terrible man. Terrible for one of my side businesses, too... Thank you, friend, for your service to the "community".

......

I see Pengauis was right.

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Tell me, that man, General Ward... how is he doing these days? Doin' fine? No health problems, or anything like that?

...Valery...! What are you trying to say!?

Well, y'know, he's old... accidents happen. Especially on the battlefield. Who knows. Perhaps the tactician could slip up slightly, hmm?

Oh what a wicked man is Valery.
This is the reason he's deplored.
He'll bribe you to do away with Ward.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It seems he fell in battle. They say he stayed to defend the castle to the bitter end.

So, yeah. Volcens's decision to be an idiot and send no reinforcements to Warrenheit has resulted in the obvious outcome: we've lost.

I imagine Volcens sees this entire thing as unusual. Perhaps they lost because they were all traitors. After all, he can't be the problem, he's never the problem. It's everyone else.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

and he was absolutely furious, calling them traitors for leaving the front line.

Well, that joke turned out to be canon. Go figure.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Not another Arbitrary Volcens Time Limit! Herman, you bastard of a bastard...!

Yep. Seems like it's Volcens thing.

Just like this. (A song about Volcens to the tune of "K.Rool's Finest Hour" from that silly Donkey Kong animated series. You know, the one that gets memed all the time)

Spoiler

It's great to be a king.
I seem to have a knack.
For giving people shit for having qualities I lack.

I'll take away your titles,
Give you time limits without reason,
If you don't like you'll be done for treason.

Now that I'm in control,
I can be a real asshole.
No logic you provide can stop me now.

Do just as I say,
Don't want to hear you groan.
Giving Roswick crap, while I sit upon his throne.

I'll send you on risky missions.
Reinforcements? Not a chance.
I don't give a damn if you die upon a lance.

While my decisions take their toll,
I can be a real asshole.
My behaviour like a bratty child.
Before I send you to your demise,
Bow to me, avert your eyes,
It's my cause in life to drive you wild.

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahah...! Ahahahahahahah! This line never fails to crack me up. I just find it absolutely hysterical that Ward gets angrier when she asks for ten denarii than when she asks for a million.

She's terrible at haggling.

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...So we're just going to pretend she didn't call her "Your Eminence", Ward...?

Well, what else can we do, Lord Reese? If we let her go to General Palmer like this, it'd be like serving her up to King Volcens on a silver platter. Or worse...

Of course, you're right, Ward.

Sensible decision. Doubly so because Palmer would take first dibs at a guess.

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Shhh! H-Hush, Your Eminence! They still haven't left!

...oh, for goodness's sake...

...Ten denarii, she said! The gall...!

The best kept secret. I'd do a song on this if I had an idea what to parody.

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Look, it's Axesman! And Spearsman to his side. Pejj is actually the only shopkeep that, to my knowledge, has no requests or sidequests that involve him. It's a bit weird, but I do enjoy that there's someone who doesn't need Reese to solve all of his life's problems.

*Happy Axeman.
It's his job to be happy about axes. But seeing as axes are neat, I understand. You know my boxer brother uses woodcutting as a training thing, because it exercises all the same muscles for punching? Protip if you want to hit hard.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That's why I was so eager to get my hands on them. To lose my new favorite axes so soon, it's too cruel...

Kind of how I reacted when my favourite axe got nicks put in it's blade by a vandal. Well not the suicidal part. But I was pissed. Actually... I still am.

 

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Okay, that is... ominous.

Let me guess. He's pretty much a werewolf. Except he transforms due to the chaos of battle or not performing some ritual or something.

 

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ha ha ha, how very interesting! I must say, I have never met a priest quite as unusual as you...

.... well... if that's true close enough for me.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahh, now there's a proper healer! Think of him as this game's Lee.

After the literal quote moments before about anima magic and healing... and the fact he was a Bishop, I was about to make that comparison. Held my tongue to see if it's something that comes up. It was. Saved myself yet another prediction joke.

[Benice]

Owain is in three games now: Awakening, Fates and Berwick Saga. I want to see what he's like since I missed him by a turn in my run(s).

It'll be interesting to see what he's like (Spoiler)

Spoiler

Seriously, you shouldn't read this

Spoiler

You're still here? It's  a spoiler!

Spoiler

As a razite monk. I'm 96.8% sure that he's the only one you can get.

 

 

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Suddenly, we've warped to the abbey.

Just as suddenly, we are introduced to this character.

Saphira has a soft spot for me. I got Izerna to level 9 and 29 light skill, but she only got luckier or gained light skill in every level, barring one magic level. And she also died saving Czene. Currently Saphira is level 6 and she has passed or matched Izerna in everything except for light skill, which is 27. Other than that, she is also the only person I've deployed who hasn't died yet.

And she is protecc worthy.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

dire thunder

Magic is everything.

Too bad the first thunder mage is awful.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, it's official: Volcyboy is sending us on a suicide mission. Again.

......

I had intended to send Vanmilion, but my hands are tied... Forgive me.

You needn't apologize, Your Grace. ...It will be the honor of the Knights of Sinon to accomplish this task.

I see... There is one more stipulation, from Lord Herman himself. After ensuring the retreating soldiers' safety, you must return here within five days.

I loved this mission even though three people got crippled. Last of the easy main missions! (Except I struggled way more with 2 and 3 because I had no idea what I was doing and essentially had a team that was Faye, Dean, Adel, Leon and Reese. And Izerna.) And you get a cool unit in this one.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Enoch is relatable. I WANNA SEE THE END OF HIS ARC BY GETTING CZENE TO LEVEL 10 BUT SHE STILL HASN'T GAINED STRENGTH OR SPEED!

You'd better take good care of that Czene, Y'hear?

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, wasn't it the second-to-last book in the series? Difficult to bring back things when there isn't much series left to go.

Third to last, I think, followed by Castafiore's emerald and then Tintin and the Picaros. Castafiore's emerald was an interesting one...

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...ah, the traitor from Broken Ear! You know, the guy who got demoted by General Alcazar and betrayed him? That guy died also. A pretty hilarious death, but he died nonetheless.

I don't remember that guy. Was he the one who got piranha'd?

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

  Hide contents

Spoiler

You can always console yourself thinking about the fun times she must be having with Barselphon. You monster.

 

Spoiler

Dang, it really has been months! I hope Reese kept the net.

I wouldn't mind her so much if she didn't say "If you retreat, I will not follow!" WHAT DO YOU THINK THE FRICKIN' CRIPPLED CLERIC AT 1 HP IS DOING? PLOTTING TO STRANGULATE THE GENERIC WHO CRIPPLED HER?!ONE1!1ON11one!! AAAAAAAAAAARGHHHH! AND PERCEVAL MISSED HIS 89 TWICE TO KILL HER BOYFROND! ASSASINATE THEM! ASSASSINATE THEM ALLLLLLLLLLLL!!! BWAGHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!

I'm...I'm feeling better now. Must save innocent enemy from kinky count! (I wish that she was playable...)

Actually, does anything happen if you capture Minas but don't kill Theodore? Or if you kill Minas?

 

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Heheheheheh... why do you think I picked that portrait?

To help remember Christine?

I found some good depressing music to play next time somebody dies!

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, you mean... you mean to the game, right... hm. Yeah, I'm... not the center of the universe here, of course... Uhh... I-I guess it is?

I'm probably about as qualified as you. It also made me feel the big sad because there wasn't any comic relief.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

don't know much about BotW, but it seems like a fun game. Although, I hesitate to buy open world games, considering I tend to drop all of them before I can finish them. Not saying I don't enjoy them, but the main storyline is something that I tend to avoid in these types of games. Well, not avoid, but when there are so many other things to do, I tend to get distracted.

You should try Skyward Sword! Most people hate it, but it's my favorite game  of all time! It's got a good balance between "too open" and "completely closed." It's also easily got the best supporting cast, music and story of the games that I've played. It is pretty hard, though, due to the motion controls, the Imprisoned battles, (gawd I hat those) and a massive difficulty spike at the end which is quite satisfying.

Twilight princess is also pretty good and Midna is great, but IMO it's nowhere near Skyward sword; it's insanely easy except for at one part and the temples aren't too interesting in general. Skyward sword did a whole lot of new things that I loved, such as Timeshift crystals, the Beetle, Silent realms, etc. The temple design is the best in the series in Skyward sword In my (probably bad) opinion. There's just so much this game does right. Groose alone almost makes up for the fact that Fi isn't as good as Midna. And Girahim...He hums his own theme. He's just amazing. Funny, scary, threatening, entertaining, mysterious...Easily the best bad guy in the Zelda franchise as far as I've seen. He's gorgeous.

Don't get me wrong, Twilight Princess is a great game, but the combat is incredibly mindless. The only two hard fights in the game are Beast Ganon, (which really isn't TOO tough.) and the final floors of the Cave of Ordeals which you won't get to without being pretty decent at combat. Sadly, the bosses are all incredibly easy also I made a flowchart to demonstrate combat in Twilight Princess! It's bad.

You may be shocked to fnd out that this was made with a trial copy of SmartDraw.

And that applies to the final phase of the final boss also. You just back slice a whole bunch until you clip through his armor and hit him.

. if you've got a Wii (Or an emulator), I'd give Skyward sword a whirl. It is rather wall-of-texty, especially at the beginning, but stick with it. Pro tip: Use shields. Getting the Absurdly Sturdy Shield is very helpful for the final boss. I'm 90% sure that the final boss is impossible without shield bashing, so get practiced in it if you do play.

TL;DR PLAY SKYWARD SWORD! It's the best overall Zelda game IMO.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

They were veterans. I wish I had gotten to show that mission... it's pretty epic, birth-givin' hips notwithstanding.

Burroughs could learn for them. I think it glitched a little in my first attempt on that chapter because he kept Battle Crying until turn 18 when he finally started to move towards the escape. Which was far, far too late.

[Pengaius]

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, yes, him. A terrible, terrible man. Terrible for one of my side businesses, too... Thank you, friend, for your service to the "community".

 

Can I just say that “The Community" would be a super sinister name for a crime sydincate. 

Won't you become part of The Community, just a small monthly contribution to take part in our “Community Watch". 

Its charming sounding enough to be inconspicuous, but it has that certain sense of exclusion if your not part of it. 

[Golb89]

On 5/4/2020 at 8:51 PM, BrightBow said:

But if you have a PC, you also have access to decades of non-predatory games. You would no longer have a reason to put up with a gacha.

https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/meme-girls/iphone-android/viewer?title_no=304446&episode_no=42

On 5/4/2020 at 9:14 PM, eclipse said:

I'm still F2P in Heroes

FEH was my very first gacha game (and the one who got me addicted interested in them), but had to drop it soon because of that infamous bug/feature that forced me to reinstall it every time i wanted to play (the atrocious units balance didn't help either, but i then learned that's pretty much the norm in gacha games)

(Btw, have you heard about a game called "Flame Dragon Knights"?)

On 5/5/2020 at 3:35 AM, Benice said:

As someone who only played Arknights for a week and a half before I realized that I sucked too much to progress, this is certified accurate on every level.

I intended to quit it as soon as i discovered male units were present in what i thought was a 100% waifu game (one of them being the single OPest unit in the game the likes "if you don't reroll for him you'll be SO sorry later!"), but then i got Mousse from my very first 10x roll and:

On 5/5/2020 at 10:03 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Wait... because you got banned elsewhere, you hesitate to put Ward's face on a pokemon meme? I'm not gonna pry, but that seems rather overly paranoid.

More like "because i got banned elsewhere, i hesitate to put anything but minimal effort into my posts"

On 5/5/2020 at 10:03 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Also, wait... the German Football League's subreddit? What was one such as you doing in such a place?

Uh...

On 5/5/2020 at 10:03 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, uh... I don't. In fact, I haven't the slightest idea who those characters are, what game this is or what franchise it belongs to, if any. It looks SNES...?

On 5/5/2020 at 10:03 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Also, doctor? Is this a coincidence, or did you go out of your way to search for a doctor OC because of the four times I've mentioned I'm a main medic in TF2? 'Cause If so, this is... pretty damn great! Thanks!

Nope: that's just the player's role in "Arknights"...

... sorry.

On 5/5/2020 at 10:03 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

I still don't understand this. You edited like four different roasts against me but you didn't put my face on the anime girl. Why is that? Did you get banned because someone was angry that you put their face in the wrong place?

Maybe: i got banned on a pletora of false charges each time, so that might have actually been the case too.

In this case though i actually considered putting your faces there (and Volo's face too on the bottom right), but the upscaling for the bigger one was pretty much impossible so i left it like that...

On 5/5/2020 at 10:03 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

...Hmm... though, thinking about it, I suppose I, too, would rather see a cute anime face over mine...

... and this too, of course.

On 5/5/2020 at 10:03 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

We're in a new location with Roswick. I like to call this the map room, for reasons that should become obvious soon enough.

"Because the giant map hanging on the wall clearly isn't obvious enough"

On 5/5/2020 at 10:03 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

 

On 5/5/2020 at 10:03 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Okay, that is... ominous.

Please allow me to withdraw from any battlefield conflicts early so that that does not happen. If I do not...

Eh, i've seen worse...

... much worse.

On 5/5/2020 at 10:03 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Eugen would probably have thrown the ten coins at her face and permanently conscripted her before Runan had enough time to say "that's not a fair price." You know, I'd love to know what all these comments about what Eugen would do look like for the people who haven't played TRS or watched my LP of it. Just me randomly going on and on about some guy called Eugen who's apparently the best thing since sliced bread.

Pretty sure you posted at least one screenshoot of him during one of your earliest Eugen references here, so they shouldn't have too much trouble figuring out the rest.

Maybe.

On 5/5/2020 at 10:03 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

On 5/5/2020 at 10:03 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Sylvis takes the sniper arrows from Sherlock, as he'll most likely not be deployed this time.

Source

On 5/5/2020 at 10:03 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

It's kind of disheartening to try and use Kramer when the end result is basically just a worse Sherpa.

You tell me...

On 5/5/2020 at 10:03 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Also look forward to a really interesting and unique map, and hopefully to no deaths!

Next time on "Rubenknights":

Don't miss it!

Edited May 6, 2020 by Golb89