Life

The best defenses are disruptive to the point that the opposing offense can't even make it to your 33 yard line needed to kick a 50 yard field goal. A defense that keeps points down may have a lot of interceptions and fumbles as opponents get nearer to the goal line but it doesn't say anything about their ability to stop entire drives in their tracks. With the stats that I posted, you get a much better idea of how well defenses can actually change the flow of a game.

Anything by Jeffrey Eugenides also does that IIRC.

Sorry, I was speaking to eclipse on that one. Since she is the proverbial newbie player. I'm not saying that I'm great (I expect to be sitting at 1000 or so ELO for a while) but I know that I've learned how to ward from just experience. That guide really helped me understand the real basics of the game.

This is one of the best and most complete beginner guides I've seen. However, stuff like warding comes with experience. Same with anticipating cooldowns, seeing certain attack patterns, knowing what to build when... it's stuff that you learn as you go. You can show a person where to ward but they have to make the conscious effort to go back and buy wards every now and then. It's like raising a camel. You can lead it to a watering hole but you can't force it to drink.

Let it be known that a forged Steel Axe (been around since Chapter 14 and would benefit Jill/Keiran/anyone else with an axe) would actually have 20/1 Boyd OHKOing generic enemies in Chapter 16, a feat that very few units (read that as none) can replicate.

A fag is a cigarette. So shut the fuck up.

If I was American, Romney in a heartbeat. Let's just take a look at each candidate's job before he got into politics. Obama was a lawyer, someone with no business experience whatsoever. Romney founded Bain Capital, a successful private equity firm, which takes more than just a smile. Not to mention that he used to be in management consulting (AKA explaining to others how to run firms properly). Well, that pretty sums up the private sector view and which of the two is actually qualified to deal with the vast amount of financial problems in the USA (Hint: It's not the black guy). Next point. Iran. Little bit of a sore point considering that the Iranian public (sorry Nightmare) stormed the US Embassy, killed the US Ambassador to Iran (on American soil, no less) and then managed to have the President of the United States apologize for their actions. Embarrassing to say the least and it severely makes me doubt Obama's "foreign policy skills" (of which he has none). Speaking of which, Romney wants a majority of Iran to burn for that action rather than risk 9/11 v2.0, something Obama would also apologize for. Imagine the press conference from the Oval Office if the Sears Tower or the Superdome take an airplane to the face. Granted, Romney's made some social blunders. He's not a speaker like Obama but a lot of his comments have been taken the wrong way. The 47% comment was meant to show that the vast majority of Americans will eat up the words of Obama like butter because they actually believe that he is taking from the rich and giving to the poor. Newsflash, America is still capitalistic, not socialist. While free health care is a basic necessity (something I grew up with), it also involves paying high taxes to fund it (something else I grew up with). Obama doesn't seem to understand that money doesn't pop out of thin air. The insult he gave Netanyahu was the last straw though. EDIT: Anyone here who actually believes that Obama is more qualified and would do a better job than Romney with regards to fiscal policy is out of their goddamn minds. Here are some choice words from one of my buddies about that. I suggest reading properly before responding.

That hurt. Seriously.

Wrong. The stats that you want when looking at defense are ratio of caught balls vs. thrown balls (looking for as many broken up plays as possible), yards after catch/from scrimmage and dropbacks vs. how much pressure the defense puts on the QB (looking for hurries, knockdowns and obviously sacks). The idea with defense is you want to see how disruptive they can be. The above three stats show that factor more than anything. But with points vs. yards, yards after catch/from scrimmage trumps points. Every time.

Tomorrow, I walk for four hours with 75% of my body weight on my back. I weight 65kg. Bite me.

Just telling you, no 10 year old kid picks up a swing with a sword within an hour or so. At the very least, we're talking days.

Nah, phone with internet. In 6 weeks or so, my amount of free time is going to skyrocket.

Swinging a sword is easy. Being able to swing it as a competant slash in the middle of battle is much harder and takes years of practice.

Sign me up. Seriously.

Can't quote on my phone. What eclipse is trying to say is that realistically, the kid shouldn't be anywhere near mastering the basics. We're talking a couple of years. Remember, this is swordplay designed to kill people. Not stuffing envelopes or some other menial job. You don't get it right in a night.

You have just won the interwebz. Fantastic movie. Also enjoyed To Kill A Mockingbird. And A Streetcar Named Desire.

Just bought Taric. Uh... decent support overall. Very good early, falls off hard late. Probably should have gotten Blitzcrank instead.

In the future? Yes. Currently? No. The Bills put too much stock into Jackson as a now back and are willing to let CJ grow and understand the game better. Then once Fred steps down, CJ will be in a much better role for starting RB. They're treating Spiller right. Same with Marcel Darius. That guy is BEAST.

I would disagree here. A bigger vocabulary does not make a story better. In your other story, it's so overboard with the vocabulary that it's a serious problem. I would say that you understand writing better than your friend. He's got a big vocabulary but doesn't understand how to use it properly. His sentence structure is absolutely horrid while yours is standard (no real problems). And one chapter into your story reads a lot better than one into the other one. There is one thing that you need to work on. Rather than telling us everything, show us what's going on. Let's the reader fill in the blanks. It'll read a lot better if you do so.

Technically no. But for aesthetics of the writing, they are. None taken. On a technical level, you're right. They can stay. But the way I learned English was the Canadian/British style (keep your commas to a minimum) on top of the fact that they just don't look correct in the sense of "why is this here?". It doesn't really read nicely and I know of very few books (I can't even name one) where I'll see it. But you're completely right on her style. Because the sentences are so long, these things are like overgrown bushes. Oh and spare me when you go after my own English grammar, I've spent too much time talking and writing in Hebrew that my English has begun to recede.

Man has a point.

Let's see... Alright. At first glance, the chapter is far too long. I know that you enjoy long chapters but I advise shortening them considerably. Or if you're going to keep long chapters, don't jump around with the narrative. Not saying that you do, this is just first glance. Long chapters like that are usually deadly. Ok. First line. You don't need to describe how Sain's kid looks right off the bat. There's time for that in the future. No need to rush. Same idea with Sain in the next line. Tiny bit off. Just "you're the Green Lance" actually has a nicer ring to it. No need to mention now that it's Fiora. In fact, you should actually wait until you introduce her. That would work better. Doesn't sound natural. Just doesn't read well. You could eliminate it or change it up a bit. It's just the wording gets me a bit. Commas. Both sentences really. I keep seeing comma problems as I go especially after the word "and" so you can omit those on a revision. This seems very unnatural. It's random babbling for the sake of it. Sain doesn't need to reflect on everything so openly and obviously, you can tell that he's satisfied with his life. I kinda cringed at the next couple of paragraphs. That part reads like a wet dream a bit. The "steamy" part reads incredibly sloppy, if you want to know the truth. The honest truth is... it's not half bad. The sentence structure here is a LOT better (your problem is more on trying to word the idea correctly), you have some grammar mistakes still existing (not rampant though) but what I do like is the fact that I've actually been intrigued a bit. I kinda want to know what's going to happen when Kent gets into town but I do want a little bit of foreshadowing. If I read the next chapter and everything is roses and unicorns, I'm going to feel bored. I want a reason to keep going. The romance bit can definitely be tuned down at the very least and best case scenario is cut out completely. You don't need it. Why are Sain's sexy abs important to the story? They're not. I think the quality would go up if you took out the romance bits completely (obviously leaving Sain's womanizing because it's part of his character) because as I said earlier, your writing gets really sloppy when you start that shit. Really not much else to say. Quality of writing is miles better than the other story. The only other nitpick is what I said in the beginning. Chapter is too long. The longer the chapter, the harder you need to work to make an effective hook.

Romo turns the ball over... like every down.

Critique, above all else, is meant to be true. In fact, I frown upon coddling within critique because it shows weakness. When Roger Ebert says that a movie is bad, it's because the movie was bad. He doesn't coddle the director because it's not his job to. It's his job to point out the good bits and the bad bits and explain why. I have pointed out the positives and negatives in your syntax. It happens that the negatives outweigh the positives by a mile. I'm not going to encourage you or discourage you. I'm only going to tell you the absolute truth of your writing. If you feel bad about it, maybe you don't have enough thick skin. Which would mean more than anything that you can't handle it. I'm not saying that it's not good. I'm saying that it's poorly written. There's a difference. You reread your story thinking that it's perfect and you refuse to look at basic problems in the English language. God damn it, girl, it's your native tongue. Stop butchering it so badly. Something that you'll learn in writing is that there's a fine line between too much detail and not enough. You're putting way too much detail into every action. The issue that arises is that it's not a pleasant read for your reader. As the writer, your concern should be ONLY for the reader, not for yourself. Let the reader imagine these things, don't explain every little detail. There's a battle going on. Show bits and parts of it. Let the reader's mind fill in the rest. That's how they enjoy the story, if they can feel connected to it. Whatever. I speak two languages and I haven't slept. Half of the shit I was writing, I was thinking of it in a different language completely. Pardon me for a couple of tiny mistakes after a long essay. That being said, this thread has gone around in circles. You refuse to take the advice that we've given you which frustrates all of us. Me especially. I'm going to ask a mod to close this thread and your story thread due to both of them being negative influences on the community (you give us migraines because we're trying to help you and you refuse to accept it).