Saint Rubenio

Bwahahahahahahah Ahahahahahahah I should not be laughing. I feel like a monster for laughing. This would be a really well done scene if I didn't find both of these characters to be complete jokes. Hwahahahahahahahah Congratulations, Xander. You're the biggest idiot in this entire game. An idiot with no peripheral vision. Also, dick move, Ryoma and Azura. He might've been unable to see to his right through his furrowed brow, but you guys were standing right there! ...And why didn't Leo go to Xander with the knowledge he had about Garon!? Sure, wouldn't be guaranteed to work, but... anything's better than keeping it to himself for no reason! Anyway, that was certainly a scene. Unironically really good scene that I found absolutely laughable because I'm an asshole who stopped taking this game's story seriously around chapter 8 of Conquest. It didn't help that Great Knight's fancy idle animation made Fishtail step all over Elise's corpse and start sniffing Xander's chest. Then the game did a dramatic zoom on his face... Or, well... Tried to. It missed his face and instead zoomed in on his shoulder and the back of his head. Pfffft. Aaaaaand then there's the map. If you can call it a map. Fishtail, mundane as he is, is 1 point short of one-rounding Xander with the beast killer. Yeah, bastard has no speed. "Far stronger than he was before," my ass. Before you say it, yes, I get it. He's committing suicide by Fishtail, because instead of honoring his sister's dying plea, he instead chooses the coward's way out. Of course, killing him with Fishtail would be boring, so after Fishtail crippled him, I killed one general, opened the door with Kaze and unleashed Setsuna on him. Reading the plot took about 4 times longer than the gameplay. Welp. That whole thing fell completely flat. Now I just hope Garon will make me laugh some more. Garon's always good for a laugh. I am sorry for being so needlessly cruel. Well... Read above. Grr... There's... basically just one-rounding him with brave weapons (if you have any units that can make it happen at all) or using defense stance. If you already killed everyone else, you might not have any, and if you don't have anyone who can one-round with a brave weapon, well... You're fucked, basically. She's the best, I don't deserve her.

All right. Just had dinner. Time to play chapter Xander and see what it has to offer. Sheesh... hang in there, man. Hope everything works out all right. No deployment slots for a sacrifice.

All right. I won't even try to describe my strategy because that was a mess from start to finish. Just know that Setsuna killed Iago. Hoo, boy... Yeah, this was the Takumi's Fun Castle of this route. No two-ways about it. It was not as bad as Takumi's Fun Castle, because at least it didn't last as long and at least the boss wasn't worse than Henning (he does have Vengeance too, but he's way weaker otherwise, especially since I managed to land a hexing on him), but still... whew. Glad to have put that behind me!

Well... Yeah. I suppose it's just New Mystery bias here. This is pretty good compared to FE12 chapter 20, where you just put one person at the entrance of the treasure room and wait. There was some strategy involved here, at least.

Well, this is giving me some déjà vu. Where's Yubello when you need him...? Not sure if I'd call it bad, honestly. It's just brutal as shit. I'm figuring it out, little by littl

It's really fucking hard to devise a proper plan when I have to act on the assumption that my units will get hit by any existent hitrate. Seriously, Hana died to a 15% earlier. God fucking damnit man. At least Henning doesn't get a plain chance to remove you from this planet when you hurt him. Vengeance on Takumi was a mistake. I haven't even used money in ages lol. I've nothing else to buy.

Yes, and by the look of it, I'm going to be here a while. We'll see... If I make it there. 'Cause holy shit this is impossible. I don't want to quit like I did with Conquest the first time, especially because my team isn't even that bad this time, but... Jesus, this is so hard. ...I doubt we'll all make it home. And I know a few names that I'll be willing to leave behind.

Well, this map is painful. Outmaneuvering packs of six riders in a tight corridor isn't easy, and there's nowhere else I can go. Oof... I don't think Ryoma's a solution at this point. He hasn't seen a single fight.

True enough.

I mean, he starts as a healer. Yeah, my only mages are Orochi and Dora.

O O F Hinoka. I was told she could produce no bad child, but I imagined she'd be bad at making a magical child, so I made him a paladin. Worked out like a charm! Hah! Not gonna lie, his supports with Mitama were quite hilarious when they had both long since discarded the whole notion of healing and were murdering things. If she caps strength I'll put her in my sig. Unfortunately she might be a few points short, but... still might put her in my sig. She's spent all game one-rounding things, it's amazing. Henning can be cheesed by depleting his weapons or by dropping promoted Rutger on him. If you don't happen to have two or three defense stances at the ready when you reach him, or brave weapons with strong enough users to one-round Takumi, you face an unavoidable chance to get killed by one of his two proc skills. I honestly don't get why he needed both Rend Heaven and Vengeance, it makes him complete bullshit. I'll have to see what I can do. Maybe I'll have to face the reinforcements, tough as they are. I can't let them overwhelm me and they're all horse riders so I can't outrun them either.

I... don't think that's an option for me. They're way too strong. Well, not in lunatic without Ryoma.

I'm starting to see why that is. Sheesh, Iago's not holding back, this amount of troops is insane... I'll leave this for a bit later. Still... At least right now, I don't yet think it's as bad as Takumi's Fun Castle. I can see a couple ways I might be able to pull through without relying on the RNG as much. The previous one was great. It just required a different approach - namely, hurry the fuck up and get the bald man before you die. Yeah, Conquest has some really solid maps. Still, this one's up there, honestly.

Pffffffffffffffffffffft... Did Iago really just get subdued by untrained Sakura? Ahahahahahahahaha... Okay, this guy's the best. This map looks a tad less interesting than the past two, but hey, I'll take it. A lot of people seem to make that choice. I guess it's okay, but seriously, the guy's super good. Decent bulk, supreme offense, Seal Defense in a route where you could really use it and only Corrin could get it other than him, early defense rallies, Seal Speed later on which is ALSO something only he and spear master Corrin can get... He's just so fucking good. Lack of supports and a mount are really his only flaws. Even his lack of personal is overshadowed by the fact that his class's skillset is excellent and he basically gets it all to himself in this route. Not gonna lie, once I got past the shock of Camilla being extremely hard, I've been loving this endgame. In fact... honestly? I think I'm kinda liking it better than Conquest's. At the very least, Camilla's map was, while really tough, way less of an insufferable hodgepodge than Takumi's Fun Castle. And the boss wasn't tougher than Henning while getting two different proc skills to erase my units. That also helped. Note that by "game" I mean Birthright. Fates as a whole... I miiiiiiiiight put it below a couple Conquest maps, but honestly? That was so fucking wonderful. I did say they're both really good. Matter of tastes at this point, mate. Hmmmmmmmmmmm...

Hans's map was another great map. Not nearly as difficult as Camilla, but it was a quick and tight one. I had to push forward without a moment's rest, lest the reinforcements overwhelmed us. Then I had Azama hex Hans just to spite the game. Turns out it wasn't even necessary - Setsuna one-rounded him at full HP. ...Yeah.

Dwyer just got a perfect level up. They laughed when I said I would make Paladin Dwyer a reality. Look at him now! Among my best troops! Unironically, too. His res and his defense both are through the roof, he's quickly become my main tank lol. I mean, I didn't say he's a great guy. I just said he's less bad than his psychopathic sister, the abusive father (either of them) and the loli. I don't remember the exact context, but he jokingly wondered what this anime girl would look like with a beard. Naturally, I got to work immediately. So yeah, it was me. I caused it.

Well. At least her death in this route wasn't as completely idiotic as it was in Conquest. I mean, for one, a named character killed her. It's... it's something. God, what a waste of a character Lilith was...

Yeah, I suppose I explained myself poorly. It sounds very Japanese, and while it isn't bad per se, I can understand that someone could find a bit "uninspired", so to speak. Like the Hoshido music lacks its own identity because it sounds so generically Japanese. And, of course, there's also the possibility of just not liking that style. Not that I agree, personally, but I can see the argument being made here. Hah! Yeah, true.

Eh, fair enough. I can understand that. It does sound a bit... stereotypical, so to speak. Yeah, I have to agree with you there. But I'm the one who hates everything everyone else likes...

Well, no, but when I played Conquest people talked about Dark Fall like it was the best thing since sliced bread. I mean, it is really good and it fits the mood of Conquest more, but I find Alight to be better. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, that's the one. Pretty sure it's controversial here.

Guys, guys. I am about to commit a sin. Alight > Its equivalent theme from Conquest whose name I cannot for the life of me find, you know the one that goes "dododo do, dododo, dododo dodo do do" and then "waaaa waaa waa waaaa waaa waaaa waaa waaaaaa" ...That didn't make any sense whatsoever, but I'm sure you understand.

I haven't played his paralogue, but I'm fairly certain Xander doesn't consider leaving his own son to be murdered - best case scenario - by brigands because he doesn't like the way he dresses. Possibly. I'll have to see the rest. It was super difficult, but not bad, not bad at all. I just had to take a moment to adapt to Camilla's constant air strikes on my entire team, haha. He got beat up for saying his own name one too many times and his face still bears the marks. That's right, I don't think you've seen my Setsuna. She's... also something, all right.

THE GENERIC JUST ONE-ROUNDED SELENA AHAHAHAAHAHAH Suck on that. Kneel before the superior girl. While we're at it, Setsuna can shoot down Camilla, too. To hell with you and your stats. Nobody cares. And with that, the map is over. That was... by far the best map in the game so far. Wow. Birthright really stepped up its game. I am quite impressed! Also Who said Rinkah's bad, again?

Of course! And when I approach the general area where Camilla is, 6 flier reinforcements with both physical and magical weaponry appear completely out of nowhere and then Camilla and her retainers begin moving towards me too! ...I mean, thankfully I only advanced very slowly forward, so the joke's on 'em. I can now use the chokepoints to wrap this up. But still, had I rushed in recklessly, it would've been my end... Also, the generic strategist has been putting in an ungodly amount of effort. While Rinkah singlehandedly decimated the army of wyvern lord reinforcements from the north, Dora took on the entire force of malig knights coming from the south. It was quite the sight to behold. Who needs supports and personal skills, anyway?