Saint Rubenio

Effie and Arthur have turned green. That is so fucking cool. I mean, they're both going to die in exactly two seconds, but who cares. They can draw fire from me for a little while. Well, no, but most people seem to. If I can beat Birthright, I'll see for myself. Eyy, it's Prince Charming and his eternally furrowed brow. He's the Nohr royal I hate the least. I still look forward to murdering him.

Camilla please. Relax. You're giving the hard route a run for its money. Okaaay... Lookin' good still... Hey, that reminds me of another game that I absolutely loved... Inb4 he turns into a dragon. Actually, I'd say it looks more like he just got old.

It was a wise decision to quit the series early. I'm gonna guess none of these are playable. Heck, Aaron looks like he could be the final boss.

All right, enough fooling around. Time to fail at chapter Camilla some more. Ah, I almost missed this. Please, by all means, do stay and annoy us as long as you want.

Wait, wasn't that guy in Trails? And even if he's in Ys instead, wasn't it the latest Ys that you said was boring because it had too much story? ...And please tell me that isn't the only guy in the entire series with a beard...

Googling Kuro leads to "Pizzeria siciliana Kuro." Soooo what you're saying is, I need a Sicilian pizza right about now. Well, wouldn't say no to that! Oh, that Kuro. Hmm, I dunno... what is the state of chins in this universe? Are there any beards at all? You know how much of a dealbreaker that is for me.

For some reason I dreamed that I tried playing Trails again, except in my dream "Trails" was an action RPG, and then after I killed an inn owner NPC twice a really hard boss that looked like Gendo Ikari appeared and I don't remember anything else. I don't think there's any significance to this dream, just thought I'd say it. Maybe it's telling me to play Ys? Well, not any time soon, I've other games to play. Like Revelation. Everyone hates Revelation. But who cares about everyone. Everyone is always wrong. Unlike me. I am right. Me! No one else! Meanwhile me: "Every FE fangame I've ever played is better than half the official games." "Even the one about promises and divine lightning that everyone likes laughing at." No. Omori. ...Nah, just messin' with ya, you do what you want. Maybe you could do a generics only run of Conquest, and finally discover the greatness of Haitaka for yourself. Seriously though, do yourself a favor and get Haitaka next time you play Conquest. If nothing else, Haitaka. He may be a bit of a pain to capture, but he's such a wonderful unit. He even has a personal, Seal Defense! Might as well be personal, since nobody else can get it other than generic spear masters and Corrin. Was it just a coincidence that you happened to wonder about Dayni the same day he returned?

...Yes. I probably should. Ahh, there it is!

You really should've. Extremely. My first death was Niles. I lost like 7 units because of one single mistake. It felt very nice. Like I was Arran and I just killed Lang. Okay maybe I went too far there, I'm sorry I'm just glad I got away with not killing the run based on a technicality. ...Just in time, too. I 100% would've killed the run next map if Shrimpy hadn't softlocked himself due to that pesky key. Says who "Look guys look, a route where everyone is happy and gets along and everything is resolved nice and tidy and nothing bad happens!" "But what about Izana and Scarlet?" "Shut up." See, this won't happen to me, because I'll do the sensible thing and use the units that actually respect the power scaling of the game. ...You know, the generics.

I am totally not bad at FE, the map is just hard. I'm very good guys, believe me. It's not like there's like, six threads worth of evidence to the contrary. ...Oh yeah, I think you were away when Shrimpy and I did our linked ironman run. Basically, he played Berwick and I played Conquest, and each time we lost a unit, a unit of the other one died as well. You can read more on that here, but... well, in summary, I lost like 15 units and then Shrimpy lost the run because Sherlock died with a key on him in the Adel map. Pretty sure I was still responsible for most of the entire thread's lewding, to be honest Hey, no worries man. The LP's not going anywhere, as far as I'm aware. Well, I probably will play Revelation hard. Maybe. I don't know, I haven't heard as much about that one's difficulty as Birthright's. I just know that I want to spite Fates for killing off best waifu in the golden route. And I mean I guess Scarlet too, she dies as well doesn't she... Aside from what I mentioned earlier... Eh, I played a whole bunch of games. Bloodstained being a highlight for me among them, that game was really, really amazing. I beat every boss without taking a single hit on hard difficulty and almost had a heart attack about 385 times. I also tried out CrossCode because Armagon said so, didn't like it at all, then I tried Beard Blade because Armagon said so, and by the powers of Beard, I liked it. Also tried out Metroid Fusion on his recommendation. Not a bad game, but I did not enjoy it at all, I'm afraid it's not my style. Oh, and I shilled Omori and Banner Saga a whole bunch. You should play them, too. Also, under the pretense of doing "just a chill relaxing run," I Ironmanned New Mystery in maniac difficulty. Every time I did, the people on the thread decided to collectively bombard me with anime lewds for my hubris. It was a positively miserable experience, 10/10 would do it again. I also used the updated patch, meaning Robert became the first Spanish man in the series not to be a brigand or overall evil guy. This lead to that, and then this happened . I just earraped myself with my own video. That's got to be a new low of stupidity. Latest thing, I got the urge to play some more Fates, except this time I chose to play Birthright and see what the fuss was all about. Honestly? I don't get it, this game's great. Not as great as Conquest, but great nonetheless. Naturally, I benched all the royals except for the redhead tomboy and enlisted the help of no less than three generics. What else, what else... Oh, I played a few hacks, too. The Lonely Mirror, which was pretty good outside of some difficulty shenanigans, and Sword of Heaven and Earth, which recently got a translation. I've always been fond of that game. Reason I started LPing, actually. I was inspired by the (now abandoned) screenshot LP of it here in Serenes. I murdered Zephiel and ended the war early. Outside of games, I am still not vaccinated because Spain is swift as molasses about the whole vaccinating process. Thankfully (and I actually haven't mentioned this before, so I hope the others are reading this), I've been notified that I'll get vaccinated the 5th. At long, long fucking last. Also, got a dentist's appointment the 9th I believe. Gotta get my wisdom teeth removed. I think that about covers it for me. If I've forgotten any highlights, feel free to yell at me, people. Yeah, for everyone else! I was innocent, it was all the others spamming me with their... filthy images.

Okay, I think I'll call it a day, because this chapter is way too tough. Jesus, what happened? All of a sudden I'm getting my ass handed to me... Damn you, Camilla! I'll see you bleed yet...! In Conquest they appear a few times later on and they're very strong. It's just in Birthright that they're pathetic, for some undiscernible reason. It honestly felt like they fucked up something, because the stoneborn in the lava chapter were fine.

Welcome back, man. It's good to see you again! Looks like you've been busy. Hope to have you around from here on! We need somebody to dish out some bonkings 'round these parts. Also I've been missing that Lilina thing since you left C'mon, I only lewded like 20 anime girls since you left, surely this is uncalled for... Pffft. I hadn't even thought of that. Yeah, I gotta do that now. Okay, so it's gonna be generics only, Orochi who might as well be a generic because she isn't getting supports and her personal has no effect in regular combat... and then Fuga, just sorta standing there awkwardly. Sounds good to me! The only time I agreed was with the two faceless maps. Those absolutely were, I don't know what happened with the stats on those guys, but it wasn't pretty. Everything else, though? On par with Conquest hard. Which, hey, it's not that great when I'm playing on lunatic, but I see it compared to the likes of Sacred Stones and Path of Radiance and... that's just not right, honestly. It's nowhere even near those games.

Thanks for the idea! That's another possibility, but I think I'll do as I said. Eirherjar Orochi's only a quick-fix till I get the real deal, anyway. Then I can just not give her a support with Corrin and think of her as just another one in the army of generics, since Capture has no effect in direct combat. ...I am, however, considering using Fuga. I don't know, the guy doesn't exist anywhere else. I'm thinking I might make an exception for him. Maybe I'll even have Corrin marry him, since I don't think anybody else has ever done that before. We'll see. I still have to beat Birthright, anyway. Speaking of, damn, difficulty ramped up. Camilla's map is pretty damn bonkers. It's enough that she can damage my entire team from way overthere, but she has infinite dragon veins to use, too! Sheesh...

Hahahaha... Don't worry, it always happens. It's scientifically proven that you can only find the solution of something after you've gone on record saying it's too much for you.

Oh wait, I just remembered that one of the "Anna's gift" DLC just gives 10k gold, and then I can just do Ghostly Gold once or twice with regular characters (not like their EXP would matter anyway) and get enough for an endgame Orochi that I would then use as a capturebot. All that time wasted fretting over nothing. Nice.

I can set up my streetpass team, but each save file has its own castle and its own team. When I go into the Eirherjar shop in each save file, it just sells units from that save file's team. I don't think I can transfer units from one save file to the other in this way, unless I'm missing something. Ahhh, why couldn't they have just made Orochi join earlier...!? I think I might find a cheat, give myself enough money to buy endgame Orochi and leave it at that. All I want is generics, damnit... Earlier than chapter 11!

So uh, can a Fates expert explain to me how the Eirherjar shop works? I just checked it, and it's selling my lategame-level Fishtail, Kaze and Rinkah for less than 10k, and then I upgraded it and for some reason it's selling untrained Skaura and Felicia as well as Azura. What the heck... Is there any way I can force Orochi into this? It's way cheaper than the logbook, no way I can afford logbook Orochi in chapter 6 of Revelation... The good wiki talks about the streetpass team, but changing that doesn't seem to be doing much. EDIT: Oohhhhhh the reason those guys are for sale at the shop is that they're set at the front of my StreetPass team by default... Right, so then it depends on the save file, and obviously I can't go and visit other castles on my completely legit 3DS. Hmmm...

I'm doing way too much research to see if I can find a way to nab a capturer earlier than chapter 11. Birthright chapter 21. In it, there's a bunch of statues blocking the way, with two dragon veins in front. Choose correctly, a bridge appears and you proceed. Choose wrong, the ground is covered by lava that impairs movement and chips away at your units' HP, and reinforcements start appearing. You have to beat them all before the correct dragon vein reappears. This is all well and good... Until you get to the boss and attack it. Then the area is covered in lava for no reason, and if you are unfortunate enough to have no other units close enough (which is perfectly possible, given the boss is a stoneborn, you might've swooped in with a horse) the attacker will get killed and you lose at the last second.

I've read people say (in one of the three threads about him in the entire internet) that he would've been a much more interesting character if he were a villain, like Hoshido's answer to Iago. I have to agree, honestly. The guy hardly even exists as it is, and it would help to balance out the two kingdoms at least a little bit. The royals: "noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo you can't bench us all! You have to use at least some of us! Who're you gonna use if not us, huh? One of those underleveled scrubs? Face it, you need us!" Ruben: I've reach about Orochi, yeah. Shame about that... If I had thought about this sooner, I would've not used Orochi and I would've sent her to the logbook at the end of the game. Unfortunately, unless I've missed something, an endgame Orochi would cost way, way too much. If someone knows a different way, I wouldn't mind having an endgame Orochi running around. I can just user her as a capture bot and otherwise keep her out of the way until the real deal joins. Insolent little-- who do you take me for?! Yeah, well, not mine. I hope they all die. Ah. Well, that explains it, I guess.

Hahahaha... Nice. Elise was so confident that she could get Xander and Garon to listen to her, and then she goes and fails miserably to sway Camilla, of all people. I take way too much pleasure in watching the Nohrian royals fail. Doesn't matter at what, I just want them to fail. Over and over again. Also, Dwyer and Mitama have now unlocked the ability to cuddle together at nap time. I hope Azama and Jakob aren't too harsh to their respective children-in-law... Then again, it's more likely that they'll tear each other to pieces first chance they get while Hinoka awkwardly sits there and Setsuna stares in the other direction. It looks great and I honestly don't understand why so many people are like "NO MASTER NINJA IS SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH BETTER, YOU CAN'T PROMOTE KAZE TO MECHANIST IT'S DUMB." I mean, I dunno about Saizo or Kagero, but Kaze's speed is overkill either way. Going mechanist gives him more strength and defense, areas in which he's lacking, not to mention a bit of extra movement and the awesome Replicate skill. I don't know, I don't think master ninja is bad either, I just don't understand what's so awful about mechanist. Yeah, I noticed, his personal is just a leadership star. The guy's Glade: He's a mounted prepromote everyone forgets about. Hm. You're right, actually. ...But then why doesn't he join in Revelation when, as far as my limited knowledge of the route goes, the entire friggin' world is at stake? There's even more reason to just leave the castle behind there... ...I also forgot that...

I am feeling really tempted to do a generics only run of Revelation after I finish my Birthright run. That way, I kill two birds with one stone: I see what the fuss is all about, and I spite Fates for killing off best waifu in the supposed "everything goes well" route. Please convince me not to. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahah... Would you believe me if I told you that I completely forgot about her? 'Cause I completely forgot about her. I never have room for her when she joins, and right afterwards, Izana joins and is better than her. Oof.

Uhh... No, the statues are not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the boss. Attacking the boss floods the entire final area with lava, without warning. If you're caught off-guard it's perfectly possible to be unable to finish the boss because of this, and then it kills the person that attacked it in the first place. And then you lose 30 minutes of your life. Oh. Well, all right. You still have shit taste though, I mean, why use the dumb lolis when you can capture a generic healer?

Of course, of course. You have fun with them plans! Nope. From what I've heard, you pay him a visit in Hoshido, he's fine, then you leave and he stays behind to keep watch over the castle. And then he just... never joins. Even though in Birthright the situation in Hoshido is dire, with the royal army at his doorstep, he just leaves the castle guarded by automata before teleporting to Lilith's Funny Place. It makes very little sense. He's basically Benny in Birthright. His defenses are a bit less overkill than Benny's, but then again, he doesn't really need them in this route. He's a good boy, Konrad. I should pay him 150 gold for his services. Fuga's super weird. It feels like they remembered he existed in the last minute, and then for some undiscernible reason they decided that the only possible way to make him playable was to kill off Izana and replace him with Windman. And yeah, the whole "they wanted one exclusive character for each route" argument falls flat a bit because Conquest doesn't have any.

"The royals don't even know about this place!" Ten seconds later, Elise just happens to walk by. This game is so hilarious sometimes. Also, hey, it's Yukimura! The guy everyone forgets exists, but I knew him before I even began to care about Fates as the one character design I liked at the time! Kind of a cruel joke to have him join immediately after Shura, who is better than him in basically every way, but... you know what? Fuck it. I love Shura, even married him, but he's had plenty of chances. Yuki doesn't exist anywhere else. I'm putting him to good use. ...Seriously though, why doesn't Yukimura join in Revelation? Scarlet suffers a tragic accident and Izana feigns his death so he doesn't have to work, but Yukimura? He just... sort of is perfectly fine but doesn't come back ever. What's up with that? See, I think her portrait is cute. But, well... It's not cuter than this, I'm afraid. Also, she's a psychopath. I'm fairly certain Konrad isn't a psychopath. He doesn't say much, but one so handsome couldn't possibly be bad. Life may now resume its course.

The more I play this game, the more I like the capture mechanic, stupid and superfluous as it might be. I really gotta do a "generics only" run. These guys have super pleasant designs, and they're surprisingly viable too! Also, I'd just like to say that Selkie is in danger. So unless there's a hardcore fan of hers that would like to defend her case...