Saint Rubenio

He sucks ass. He deals 8 damage total and gets wrecked. He can't even 2-round them. Rinkah gets one-shot by everything, Fishtail gets one-shot by the mercs... The only way I even got to garbage man was by sacrificing literally everyone and then getting two lucky dodges. I honestly don't see how you're supposed to deal with the lower group of enemies without losing the entire army. And no, the solution is not attack stance. Fishtail can't even attack stance at all! Only to find that he was 1 point away from killing garbage man. So I have to reset. Again. What the hell is this... I really hope the rest of the game isn't like this, because hot damn I feel helpless.

Oh my God what is chapter 5 in lunatic? Everyone is useless except for Fishtail, and Fishtail gets obliterated by the wyrmslayers, so I can't just solo the map with him. Jesus Christ, I can't beat this map, how bad am I? Oh wait, Rinkah does 4 more damage when she's wounded. Yeah, probably woulda been wise to read the skills, eh...

I always forget Fates has weird RNG until Ryoma dodges garbage man's 70%s for like 5 turns. It happens every time. Well, I already started, but... Yeah, good call. I can do the breach of fate trick and say that he got the scar when he ran into a tree branch while running from Xander and Camilla. He is clumsy, after all. I was pondering between making him a knight, or making him something else and then nabbing a generic knight. I find the generic knight portrait to be hilarious, he looks 80 years old. Bad skill. Still gonna use her.

Not to worry, I have heard about the... shenanigans, so I'll be sure to do it to preserve Candace. ...And I guess him and his daughter. They exist too. But mostly Candace.

All right, thanks for your input. I'll wait for a bit, see if I get a second opinion, and then we'll get started. I had thought of going straight to the breach of fate, but unfortunately I need to give experience to Rinkah, so I can't. Oh well.

All right, so. Which one do you guys like best? These will be his parameters either way. Why Fishtail? Honestly, I've no idea. It was the first thing I came up with, and it sounds silly enough.

Thanks! That's what I'm hoping, too.

Ehhh looking at her, I have serious doubts I will agree. But we'll see.

That fucking hexing rod, that's what! C'mon, that's not my only criterion. I also look for beards. I'll bet she doesn't have a beard, now, does she? Oh hey it's Pyron from Sun God's Wrath! Yeah, I know, he's from some fighting game first, but...

Play Sword of Heaven and Earth instead. Hmmmm... I dunno, are there any recruitable bosses in her paralogue? I know Kaden's daughter has one. That's a great incentive to go to a paralogue!

I think the creator tried to go for a sort of bittersweet ending where dad's alive but for some reason can't go to his family. ...hey, maybe it is Eliwood after all. Apparently he's so absurdly busy he can't visit Hector in 15 years - and Lyn lives even further away! Hah! I mean, he's no stranger to leaving. Bastard comes back way too late in 7... So do I! Give me a version that has Malice in it.

I mean, it could be Rath, but that's even worse than if it's Kent, because then not only did he leave, he also didn't tell either his father or his other daughter about Saya. Dick...

Spanish enough. Well, I meant more Fates in general than just Birthright.

Old enough. And hey, she's a Spanish person that isn't either a brigand or a boring healer girl! Even more reason to use her.

Way more for Fates though. At least from what I've seen, if you just say you like Three Houses, or Blazing Sword, or Thracia, or heck even Awakening, at worst you might find a couple of people who'll meekly claim to disagree, maybe list off some reasons why they do, give way to some discussoin about the flaws of the game, but for the most part nobody will bat an eye, and plenty will agree. If you dare to claim you like Fates, doesn't matter if it's the gameplay, the character designs, the music or Camilla's assets, you'll immediately get a pile of people charging straight at you to let you know that Fates's story is garbage in way more words than they need. It's like it's wrong to like Fates. And I mean, I guess I get it, but... I don't get it, Fates is great, fuck the haters. Sure it's not perfect, but there's no need to be talking about its flaws 24/7. Yes, I know this sounds hypocritical coming from me of all people. I already know I'll use Reina, because prepromoted archers are the best and she's a... kinda sorta maybe old woman in modern FE? A feat that I did not believe possible. Probably Scarlet too, I like her. And Daniela, because capturable boss. Setsuna does have a rather nice design. I don't get why her lips look like that, but other than that, no complaints, I might use her. I already despise that shitstain Azama for his shenanigans in Conquest, though, so you're correct there.

Well, that was Sword of Heaven and Earth. It accomplishes the nigh-impossible for a hack: To have an endgame that is fun, and a final boss that is neither piss easy nor painfully difficult. So that's great. And then, a TRS-style ending where everyone discusses what they'll do afterwards instead of just having the game tell you on little cards. A few characters were not present, which is a shame, but... eh, could be the casualties I suffered. And then everyone got a card, anyway, so it's okay. Oohhhh what a tease...! At the very end, Saya asks the old advisor guy to tell her the truth. He says that he was sent by her father to keep watch over her and Lyn, and that he's alive... But he does not reveal the man's identity. The scene with Eliwood and Lyn didn't shed any light on the matter, either, they just reminisced about Hector for a bit and that was it. Goddamnit, Sword of Heaven and Earth...! Pick a side! Honestly, it's gotta be Kent. Eliwood describes her as just an old friend, Rath is nowhere to be seen (and neither Dayan nor Sue treat Saya as family) and Hector kicked the bucket. So yeah, it's probably Kent. Good for him. So yeah, great hack. Biggest flaw I can think of is that, due to the lack of supports, most characters are very Archanea-like. Other than that, fun gameplay, moderate difficulty, neat story that isn't anything special but works, gorgeous character designs. I say this a lot, but I'd describe it as GBAFE but better, and this time it's way better, not like DLATMOL which was a little better until it completely dropped the ball in the lategame. I know a lot of people here really dislike GBAFE, but for the rest of you, it gets my recommendation. I mean, c'mon, it has a playable war dragon. How can you not at least respect that?! Tomorrow I'll start Game That You Have To Specify You Like "Despite Its Many Issues" In Order Not To Get Flayed By The Community: Birthright. I'll let you guys know how it goes, of course.

OH MY GOD THE NERGAL LOOKALIKE STARTS MOVING WITHOUT WARNING Thank God he just took the opportunity to snipe the convoy... I didn't remember this!

You're right, the sisters appear 9 times, whereas Zyne only appears 7 times. I believe the reason Zyne became the meme is that the sisters got more noticeable edits (Zyne's literally just a cape recolor lol), and 6 of them appear together in groups of three, whereas the Zynes are completely unrelated to each other and just kept appearing in every chapter. Also, Zyne's face is just way funnier, the dude looks like he's holding in a massive crap at all times. Never forget the three cultist bosses in the final chapter with recolored portraits and reused battle and death quotes. I found that to be positively hilarious. They couldn't come up with three different lines of generic cultist dialogue? C'mon...

Hello, reference(s?) to FE4. That's the last reference boss in the game. Unless you want to count Ephidel as a reference, of course.

Only three chapters of SoHaE left, including the finale, which should be somewhat shorter. So far, so good. I remember the game's finale being tough, but not like Dark Lord and the Maiden of Light levels of tough where it just becomes completely fucking impossible if you don't have a unit with all stats capped. Let's see if I am correct. Cosmo brings shame upon the fans of FE. He's too positive.

Brilliant strategic minds at work here. "Who cares about the army currently invading the throne room! If we take out their immortal convoy, they'll be helpless! They won't be able to send droppables to the convoy! Whaddya mean, they already ransacked every chest? Nonsense, this is a great move, I tell you!"

Oh. Well, I never knew. Huh. ...Still, kinda annoying that the story just kinda pulls the rug from under Eirika's feet and turns her into a helpless damisel for no reason. Couldn't they just let her save Ephraim? Was that so hard?

I have to beat this thing while it moves. Help. C'MON ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS GAME Welp, that's a reset. Feeler can't die, he's too epic.

I don't have to imagine Ehhhhhh not really. There's basically one beard and one or two staches in each Kaga game. Even Berwick Saga, great as it is, has only a couple of beards and one super thin stache. Actually, official FE in general hardly has the amount of beards I would prefer. It's in fangames where you find greater quantities of facial hair. And, y'know, Banner Saga. Maybe I should start calling Banner Saga FE too. Ehhhh I dunno about that one, man. The part where she goes to save Ephraim, but then the story goes "nope, Ephraim actually got away from the promoted fliers because he's that awesome, now Eirika has helplessly fallen into an obvious trap like an idiot and Ephraim has to save her instead because he's the big man" is really iffy, not gonna lie. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like Eirika. But she suffers from IntSys's bad habits, and her route has the less interesting version of Lyon, which is highly unfortunate, because I like Lyon about ten times more than either her or Eph. Hey, I'm allowed to think parts of Three Houses are good from time to time. I do think she's a pretty good character, from what I've seen of her. Dimitri is okay too, though in his case his super rushed recovery hurts him. Claude exists. Barely.

No. Fuck Joshua. I've been wondering, actually. When I think about it, the only Kaga game I really consider outstanding is Berwick lol. All the others are like "good, but with some big flaws holding it back." Hmm...