Saint Rubenio

"Each time I have sung that song, it was required." Literally ten seconds ago: Azura sings the song while she's alone in some lake in the middle of nowhere and almosts turns herself into purple goo for absolutely no reason. I'm glad that Azura makes no sense no matter the route. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Seriously, what the hell was that? Practice? Ah, but no time to worry about that now. I must call my uncle from Nintendo and borrow their time machine again. I want female Gangrel in my team, right now!

Oh my fucking God. She capped strength before promotion. She just... she capped strength before promotion. Don't forget, no statboosters and I can't RNG-abuse levels because of lunatic difficulty. This is Setsuna all by herself. What the absolute fuck... This is amazing. I mean, yeah, but... C'mon, everyone knows I'm not honestly complaining. If she capped strength it'd be like a dream come true.

Setsuna. Setsuna. Please stop. You've reached 20 strength and you haven't even promoted yet. My heart can't take much more of this. Please... I want Dwyer more than another sword guy I won't use. And his paralogue has nothing of interest. Desist, Sooks. I will make redhead Dwyer happen, and then I'll use him, and there's nothing you can do to change that.

I'm... not sure if they died. With Birthright death quotes I can never tell. I hope they made it. Dumb as it may be, I don't want these two to die... Well, that's a problem with Jakob, not his son. Forrest deserved to live, even if his father was a shitstain. Same principle here. I'm not too fond of swordfighters, I'm sorry. Hana is enough.

Killing Charlotte and Benny is going to be the hardest part of this. I have so much fun killing the royals, but these two... Damnit, I like you...! On the other hand, Daniela is right there. At long last... I have been looking forward to her all game. No. Jakob. Yes. With the bench-- Thanks.

Fuck it, I'm giving Hinoka another chance. If only because, as much as I'd like to, using Scarlet would make me feel bad, she's too good. And Hinoka looks so good. She finally, finally got a good level up. A damn good level up, actually. Nice. I'll give you Jakob for that. Kaden is going to take Oboro so I can get Daichi. Fishtail will get boned by Reina. Azura can entertain herself with Ryoma. As for Hinoka... yeah, it's gonna have to be Jakob. More than fair enough. The fairest enough! Her voice lines are just too funny. W H O C A R E S Gameplay good.

All right, so I spent all day away visiting the family. Now that I have returned, I can once again ponder the big question: Do I bench Hinoka because she's considered a good unit and also useless garbage, or do I give her another chance because she's useless garbage and tough tomboy? Hmmmmmmmmm... You misunderstand. In her support with Azama, she keeps bragging about how she's a great cook and apparently mistakes Azama's sarcastic quips for genuine praise. But then in Hinoka's support, she just admits she's bad at it. The only explanation for this contradictory behavior is that she was fully aware of how much of a dick Azama was being, and decided to troll him. And it worked so well that it got him to question his attitude. She's the smartest character in Fates. Or, y'know, the Fates writers are incompetent hacks who can't keep a character consistent over her supports. But surely you'll understand why I'd rather believe the former explanation is the truth. Setsuna's voice makes me happeeeeeeeeeh. Ah yes. The narrative. That thing that is totally relevant and that I totally care about, yes. I am not being sarcastic - every day it keeps me at night, "what is the state of THE NARRATIVE in FE?" Oohhh... Well shit, that is a pretty cool thing to have.

The modern young'un's nightmare: no compooper. Pffffft... I mean, my Setsuna could kick my ass physically too. She's insanely good. I mean, in Hinoka's support she readily admits she's bad at cooking. The only explanation is that she was playing Azama. "Nooooooooooooo Ruben you can't like Fates supports, you must hate them like everyone else, it's out of character for you to like them, they're anime trash" Haha Setsuna go victoree victoree Because Fates is a creative game that isn't afraid to push the boundaries.

Shrimpy out there having a life outside the internet smh

I'm afraid I can't read what it says there, the image is too blurry.

Pfft. She ain't got shit on Setsuna. What's that "thankfully" mean? Birthright's great. So far, at least.

Tarba is the important one. I mean, it's her best, she has like 17, but she also has great strength and speed. Her HP does leave something to be desired, but that's it. You kiddin' me? She played him like a fiddle throughout their support and by the S she got him to willingly decide to change his dickish ways. She's a fucking genius. He's the one who should be worried, she could manipulate him into doing anything while making him feel like she's the idiot. I'm not. I think she looks good, but Scarlet and Reina will replace her just fine in that department as well. That'd have been funny, but... Eh, I don't regret my choices. She and Azama make a really dumb and cute couple, and when Azama promotes they'll make a beautiful murder-couple, too. Plus, she's already the queen of my heart anyway I intend to do the paralogues after chapter 15, when Jakob joins. Kaze's paralogue should unlock then, too, if I understood things correctly. Hah!

But they told me Birthright is braindead, the internet wouldn't lie to me I will give him Azura, mostly because she's free. He'll pair up with her and stay there till they marry, then it's off to the bench with him.

Fates once again proving that it's the best FE, story and characters be damned. Oh, shit. Well... good luck, man. Get Wario and his funny axe, they'll save your run.

Reina landed a 21% on Camilla. That's right, show her who the real queen of the skies is. Rather easy chapter. There was a bit of a scare when Camilla activated a dragon vein and wrecked Oboro, but thankfully, the general in range didn't move, for... some undiscernible reason. And there we have 'em, Scarlet and Benchwarmer. Well... actually, I might want to keep Benchwarmer around to marry someone. His son's paralogue has a capturable boss, you see. He ain't gonna see a blade, though, you can rest assured of that.

Why is nobody stabbing Camilla? She's right there. Run her through and be done with it. Why did we let her get the jump on us? Why is everyone an idiot?

Incredible. The AI just did what I thought I'd never see it do. It moved back a unit that was blocking a spot so that Xander could move in and attack Rinkah. ...Thankfully, defense stance once again proved Shrimpy wrong by saving Rinkah's life, but... holy shit, this sort of advanced play is not what I'm accustomed to from a FE AI. Clearly I need to start listening to the game and get the hell outta dodge already. I mean, Fishtail was taken to the exit by Reina, I just thought I'd be stubborn and stick around for a while. ...Okay, maybe let Setsuna kill a great knight before we go. Yes, it's probably about time I find a new book, it's been a couple weeks since I finished the last. I'm too lazy.

Damnit. They ruined Zola's character arc. I can't believe it. I'm more disappointed about that than anything else in Fates's story. He had a better character arc than everyone else and they blew it. Fss... Well, it happened. Four levels, no strength, no speed. She's still hanging in there, but she's started to fall behind everyone else.

Look at little Zola on his way to redemption! Really wish he'd just join the team proper, that'd be great, but... oh well. Also, Setsuna has the same strength and speed as Reina. Well, actually, scratch that, she surpassed her in both stats after gaining another level. She's level 15 unpromoted, by the way. What an absolute unit. I'm so glad I stuck with her. Azama doesn't understand how lucky he and his daughter are. Also also, Rinkah and Kaze married. I was already looking forward to getting Candace, but surprise surprise, the shenanigans affect Kaze's paralogue too. Because fuck me, that's why. Urgh... Speaking of her... Uhhh, so she's gotten four levels and she's still at base strength and speed. She can tank decently well with the guard naginata, but she deals shit damage to everything. She... might hit the bench too, because she's just not that great, I'm afraid. Shame, I like her design, but it's just not to be it seems, and Scarlet appears to be right around the corner.

Oh, so Zola is joining us now? Only in the plot, though... What a shame, I would've liked to have an ugly bossman with supports for a change. Aaaanyway, that was basically Ninja Hell but a little less hellish. The principle was the same, though. It may be a forest aesthetic instead of a dark cavern, but the same tight corridors filled with traps applied, just without the revolving doors. Also, Takumi appeared all possessed and he was... hilariously easy to unpossess, so he may now hit the bench because he and his son are the exact same character and they suffer from not being Setsuna. Oh, and I'll probably bench Sakura as well for a generic shrine maiden. Mostly because generic shrine maidens look wonderful while Sakura is boring. Hinoka is the only royal for me. She's unironically good in my run, because I can't have a normal team, it seems.

All right, Setsuna Emblem time. I'm going to give Rinkah a seraph robe, because outside of her low HP she's my best tank. Somehow. Is that also weird, or is her defense growth super high or something? Azama and Hinoka, of course! If you say it's bad, I need to see it for myself so I can laugh at it.

Of course. All of my opinions are correct. I suppose I better check that one out now. Bah. Setsuna is secretly Fred Jones I can't tell anymore if my favorite room lines are hers or Izana's. ...I think "ya put a ring on Izana gurl!" still wins. But "I keep falling harder" is on another level. How did the actress not break character while she said that?

Ohh... In her support with Hinoka, Setsuna readily admits that she's no good at cooking. So she really was just trolling Azama by pretending to be the dumbest human being alive. I like her even more now. She's DEFINITELY going to kill Garon. Also, I have recruited a generic cavalier named Simon. I won't use him, but capturing is always fun. Hilariously enough, he's faster and has more HP than Silas. Tsk, tsk. Shameful. And you were so confidently trashtalking Hana... We'll see you do that from the bench when I get your daughter. Well, that's enough for a day. I'm pleasantly... surprised? I don't know, after Conquest, I had decent expectations, but it's at least a bit better even than I had expected. While it's definitely a notch below Conquest, it's still an above average FE, to say the least. For the time being, of course. There's a lot of game left for them to fuck up. But I have faith in them. Hah! Who would've thought. A female archer. Unbelievable. Quite silly, yes. But even if that was the case - which it totally isn't - I'd forgive them because the gameplay for at least 2 of 3 routes is fun and the story makes me laugh. And the supports, too. Honestly, I unironically find Fates's supports really fun, when they're not bending over backwards in an attempt to be erotic fanfics. Kill me for my sins if you must. Oh, please. My kingdom for a signature tier Setsuna. I mean, she already is, she's one-rounding armors. All she needs now is to maintain that pace... What are you implying, Sukes? Whatever it is, it's not true. ...When she went "victoree, victoree" though. That had me feeling things. Namely, out loud laughter. Every one of her voice lines is just so good.

"I've never seen such a display of power" He just hit a gravely wounded old man while his guard was down, and he couldn't even kill him in one shot. What part of that was impressive? And why is nobody giving chase!? He's right there, you fools, we can kill him here! Let me kill Leo, damnit...! Stupid game! Also, we spared said old man's life. That's going to end well. Also also, Izana read our fortune and he was perfectly fine after that. I mean, why wouldn't he? It'd be totally silly if something so trivial as reading a fortune straight up killed him on the spot, wouldn't it? Wouldn't it...? ...Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?! She's at 15 strength. At level 11. Ahh, but this comes as no surprise. Clearly she heard that I am the one who believes in the bad units, and she has decided she wants to join the Matthis club. I, for one, welcome her with open arms! She's lovely. Every time she says "I'm happy" it brings the biggest smile to my face.

Setsuna one-rounds armors with the brass yumi. Yes. Yes. More power. More power to the happy girl.