Let's Play! Icewind Dale

[Balcerzak]

Also, lol@you true neutral pricks. lrn2morals

Man, don't make me switch to something silly like Lawful Neutral.

Wait... actually... hmmm. If you're still rolling things up... *visits the PM center*

[Parrhesia]

Do they still have the crowd-clearing rule from original in 2nd Ed.? Where fighters could attack 0-level goons as many times as they had levels?

Edited November 4, 2010 by Furetchen

[Integrity]

PSEUDO-UPDATE ONE

----------

I savegame hacked (lazy me) and changed Balcerzak to Lawful Neutral. Also, your dudes are in the OP. Go look.

Ready?

Fuck yes we are.

EDIT: Oh yeah, I should explain the interface. I have no fucking clue what the buttons on the left do except the bottom one is Menu. The swirley skulls thing is Pause. Those buttons on the bottom do something, I think. The message box is where messages go. The pictures on the right are us. The spikey button in the bottom right is Rest, I think. I have no clue.

Edited November 4, 2010 by Integrity

[Parrhesia]

YES. WE LOOK COLLECTIVELY BADASS.

On the left, second from the top should be map. And those on the bottom I guess would be formation options.

Edited November 4, 2010 by Furetchen

[Scarlet]

Awesome.

EDIT: Oh yeah, I should explain the interface. I have no fucking clue what the buttons on the left do except the bottom one is Menu. The swirley skulls thing is Pause. Those buttons on the bottom do something, I think. The message box is where messages go. The pictures on the right are us. The spikey button in the bottom right is Rest, I think. I have no clue.

The top one is "Return to the game" when you're in the menu.

The one below that opens up the map. Pretty handy in those dungeons if we need to backtrack (we will. A lot, probably).

The book below that is the diary. It contains information about the stuff we already did and stuff.

The one below that is the inventory.

The head symbol opens up our status screen, which shows all our stats in detail. This is also where we confirm level ups.

The closed book is the section for arcane spells.

The scroll is the section for divine spells.

The buttons at the bottom invoke special skills and change formation.

And... ...that should be it.

[Parrhesia]

Aaaand it's the fighter with seven wisdom who comes up with the goods.

[IGdood]

Holy shit awesome.

[Scarlet]

Aaaand it's the fighter with seven wisdom who comes up with the goods.

Well, a skilled fighter at least needs to know what the hell he's even doing, right? :P

[Parrhesia]

I dunno. Thog appears to do pretty well. Granted, likely not as well as if he had more than two and a half brain cells, but...

[IGdood]

What color am I? Plus, I look taller in-game than I did in the painting.

[Scarlet]

Plus, I look taller in-game than I did in the painting.

That's because the in-game-model of the characters is determined by their class, gender and race, rather than by the portrait you pick for them. You could pick the picture of a tall human mage for a dwarven fighter, but the dwarven fighter's in-game-model would still be the small dwarven one.

Part of the reason for this probably is that IIRC, the game allows you to use custom portraits for your characters if you want to.

Edited November 4, 2010 by Raymond

[IGdood]

I see I see.....heheheh.

[Integrity]

I kept the Gnome picture for you because I was pissed you couldn't be one.

EDIT: Oh, by the by, Icewind doesn't appear to be able to take screenshots of dialogue for some reason. If I see something epic awesome I'll take a prntscrn->paste screenshot of it but otherwise you get logs :P

Edited November 4, 2010 by Integrity

[IGdood]

LOL

Alright, I'm cool with reading logs.

[Integrity]

You All Meet In A Tavern. And so our story begins...

Icewind Dale is a cold place, and it's up in these wastes that I've gathered six adventurers to--

"Hang on! The voice in our heads is trying to take credit for MY idea!" shouts Furetchen. The others pacify him with quick glares and, in Raymond's case, some minor physical violence.

Honestly, given the crew he's assembled, Furetchen is lucky he got off that lightly. To this very minute, he's not sure why Raymond is along. The man has a reputation for random acts of murder and can barely speak, for crying out loud!

My incredible sense of humor allowed me to dress this Bard up like a Christmas tree. Can't you see how awesome I am? Anyway, I brought him along to talk to people. He's good at that.

Luka busies himself sidling up to everybody in the bar, then quietly withdrawing when he finds every single one to be a man or a Dwarf. One unfortunate patron, however, was too drunk to realize that he was talking to a man under all that green fur hood. Luka sang to him a tale of traveling to Icewind Dale with five companions of dubious morality. It wasn't a very rousing tale - or even a very good one, considering he invented it on the spot - but the man smiled lecherously and gave Luka a shiny gem as a "present". The man then immediately passed out on the bar.

Oh well. One more for Luka! There'll be women in the next tavern for sure.

Having had my fill of these boring townsfolk - and having slaughtered them all in another reality - I order my party outside. Into the snow. I am known by many names - let one of them now be the Lord of All Superdickery.

"...now what?" asked Acacia. He never knew what to do, so this wasn't surprising.

"Well, of course we," began Furetchen, "uh, good question."

"Isn't this the part where Luka talks to people?" retorted Skitarii.

"gnhrrr." Raymond helpfully interjected.

"Yeah, Luka? Go talk to somebody."

"EXCUSE ME, MISS!" shouted Luka at a nearby woman. This was followed by him trotting closer and adding "Do you know where a poor adventurer can find a warm embr ...er, we're looking for some ...equipment. Where can we find it?"

"Some asshole named Pomab set up a shop for barbarians in the northeast corner of town. You'd probably fit in there."

The woman strode away without another word.

"...well, damn."

"SINGLE FILE, SINGLE FILE! KEEP IT ORDERLY!"

"grrrrrrnnnnnNAA"

"Okay, okay, OKAY JUST LET GO OF ME. Raymond can go first."

"rrrmmm."

Fucking finally. I was wondering if I'd have to kill a dragon with quarterstaves at this rate. I'll just go order Luka to talk to the shopkeep and get us something that might actually kill if applied hard enough.

"Excuse me, good sir! We're a simple party of adventurers looking to --"

"Fuck off, barbarian."

"...er, what? What did you just call me?"

"I called you exactly what you are, barbarian."

"...right then. Can we buy..."

"You know, I'm a very important man! I am POMAB AK'AZMHIR, ROYAL DIPLOMATIC ENVOY OF --"

"Okay, seriously man. We're just here to buy."

"I AM THE THIRD COUSIN TO THE SULTAN HIMSELF!"

"Great, yeah, that's why you're in Icewind-freakin'-Dale. Can I buy things now?"

"...no."

"Really? You're going to refuse service to the only customers you're getting in months?"

"...fine."

"Thank you."

yessssssssss

"Ooh! I'll take one of those, and one of those, and one of those, and ..."

"GO AWAY, ACACIA. I'm buying things here."

"But why don't *I* get to choose?"

"Because the voice put me in charge of this. You heard him."

"Dammit, Luka."

"Take this spear and go cry over there because the voice likes me more than he likes you. HA."

Furetchen, I swear to me if you don't stop giving me lip...

Anyway, walk south, bitches.

"An inn! Excuse me, I absolutely must go sample the available stock!"

"What? Only...a...aw, man."

Just for doing that, Luka, I'm going to punish Furetchen.

"What? Why me?"

Because you gave me lip and Luka made me do it.

"aw, man."

Suddenly, a child emerged out of the blackness. HALP, he shouted, MONSTARS BE.

Furetchen deftly caught the child. "Yo, dude, chill out. What's up?"

"DEM BE MONSTARS"

"Ooookay, what kind of monsters?"

"ORKSES WITH GREEN SKIN AND POINTED TEETHS"

"Riiiight, Orcs."

"DEM TAKDED MY FISH"

"Ooookay, you know I'll cut your shit if you're lying right?"

"YEPPERS"

"Alright then! Let's go hopefully not find monsters!"

DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO, LUKA? DO YOU SEE NOW?! Now I have to restore you to an alternate timeline. THANKS, LUKA.

"What? What did I--"

Luka's voice was suddenly cut off by his body and soul being sucked in a vortex to five minutes ago.

"Don't worry, guys. I got this this time."

"...we can still see you."

"Shut up, Balcerzak. ...HIDE IN SHADOWS!"

"We can still see you. Why don't we just put Raymond out there? I can fix him when he gets hurt and doesn't die, unlike you."

"Oh, no, let me try!" Acacia suddenly shouted. "I can hide like a thief too! Watch!"

Silence followed for a moment until Balcerzak spoke up again.

"...we can still see you."

"Aw, man."

"Can we just go with my plan of sending Raymond in front?"

"Fine, fine."

"YEEAGH!"

"HRRAAAAAAANH!!!!"

"OW! JESUS! OW!"

"What is it, Furetchen?"

"BALCERZAK THAT GUY SHOT ME!"

"And you didn't die? Amazing!"

"Fix it fix it fix it fix it owwwwwww"

"No. I have to save those spells for important things like Raymond. And myself. Can't cure you guys if you let me die."

"FIX ME DAMMIT!"

"No."

"gnnnnnnnn"

"I'm glad we brought Raymond along, guys.

"Of course you are, Luka. You can hide behind him."

"Yeah, pretty much."

"HOLY JESUS FUCK ACACIA DID YOU JUST MAKE IT EXPLODE WITH A SPEAR?!"

Bits of goblin dripped off of Acacia, Raymond, and Balcerzak. "Yeeeeah, I think I did. Ew."

"...can you do it again?"

"Not sure."

That one looks like their leader! Raymond, kill it!"

"graaaaaah!"

Several bloody moments followed.

"..."

"..."

"...is that a fish skeleton?"

"...let's bring it back to the kid, he'll probably pay us at least. Raymond, go!"

"gnnhr."

"OH HEY THANKS DOOD FOR TEH FISH. I MISSDED IT."

"gnn?"

"K BYE."

If that kid were more than just a kid he'd have caught a bad case of MURDERED for that injustice.

Edited November 5, 2010 by Integrity

[riariadne]

Looks like I get to be resident spokesperson and total jackass!

wait shit, that means anything bad that happens is my fault kinda like modern governments huh

[Integrity]

Oh, hey, speaking of. Should I continue with this new ...narrative style or return to my dry ramblings on the mechanics and shit?

[Parrhesia]

NEW NARRATIVE STYLE

YAAAAY

Also, request for colourchange to some combination of green and black.

[Integrity]

Also, request for colourchange to some combination of green and black.

I want to say no can do but unfortunately that's the ONLY DAMN FEATURE that's not locked after character creation, so consider it done :P

[IGdood]

Oh, hey, speaking of. Should I continue with this new ...narrative style or return to my dry ramblings on the mechanics and shit?

Both. Maybe a little thing about the mechanics in the beginning and then go full-out narrative.

[Acacia Sgt]

Both. Maybe a little thing about the mechanics in the beginning and then go full-out narrative.

This. The way you're doing the narrative is worth the read. Yay for claiming first crit. lol

[Soren37]

Are you allowing replacement characters for when others die?

[Scarlet]

Hweheheh. We haven't even left town yet, and I'm already killing things. Awesome. :P

The new narrative style is quite worth the read - it's funny and entertaining. ^^

Though I don't mind either style. You could do both, really.

Are you allowing replacement characters for when others die?

Characters can be revived at temples (even though it's pretty damn expensive), so I'm not too sure about that. But Int said something about rotating characters in and out if there are enough players, so maybe that?

[Integrity]

What Raymond said, essentially. If you have a dude you want I'll rotate a little bit. Leave Luka in town, for instance.

EDIT: Actually, reflecting on it, I might try to keep the same 6 characters especially if I'm going for narrative.

Edited November 6, 2010 by Integrity

[Integrity]

Today on Icewind Dale: I learned that you can Rest For 14 Hours anywhere you're not under attack and that restores all your spells and shit. Something epically preventable wouldn't have happened if I'd known this beforehand - somehow I equate resting with only Neverwinter Nights.

Now...the journey continues...

----------

"Guys! Formation time! We're gonna see what's at the end of this road!"

"Furetchen, you're still bleeding. Why haven't you just, I dunno, bandaged that or something?"

"I'm protesting against you not healing me, asshole."

"...by bleeding more?"

"...yes."

"WHY ISN'T IT WORKING!"

You're doing it wrong.

"No, you're TELLING us to do it wrong! Make us do it right!"

"Success by brilliance, as usual."

"Shut up, Tarii. That's the first worthwhile thing you've done."

"Yeah, well at least I'm not BLEEDING!" Skitarii barked out a short laugh after the last word.

"...I'm protesting."

Silence followed as the party shared a collective groan.

"Raymond, why don't you go on ahead?"

"okie-dokie balcie"

"Aw, Balcerzak! He said your name!"

"I'm still in charge of healing you too, Luka. Tread lightly."

"WOLVES! SHIT!"

"What, Furetchen, don't like something that might actually hurt you? Oh, wait, that's everything."

"Goddamn, Balcerzak, when did you get so cheeky?" Furetchen muttered under his breath.

"See? It's okay. They're all attacking Raymond, like they should be."

"HEY GUYS WATCH THIS!" Acacia suddenly interjected.

"I CAN BE A WHIRLING DERVISH!"

"..."

"...Acacia, you're beautiful."

"Aw, thanks Luka. I think you're real pretty too."

Luka pulled his hood back a small bit.

"...damn. Can I take that back?"

"Nope! Too late!"

"GRAH!"

"What is it, Raymond?"

Raymond pointed at the cave mouth. "GRAAAH!"

"Huh." Furetchen said, "Looks like the kid was right. Orcs are smart enough to carry shinies!"

"OH SHIT ORCS!"

"Furetchen, really, what did you expect?"

"...I dunno. Anyway, where's Luka?"

"You know, I sure am glad I stayed out here while they all looked inside the cave." thought Luka.

Goddammit Luka get in the goddamn cave.

Luka breathed a heavy sigh and walked into the black.

"I CAST MAGIC MISSILE!"

"Holy shit Skitarii did something!"

"GUYS GUYS WHY IS IT CHASING ME GET IT OFF GETITOFF!!!"

Skitarii began, in an attempt to save his ...er, if not friend than at least co-worker, to shout all the insults he knew in the Orcish tongue.

Unfortunately, it worked.

"whoah hey guys casey did that splodey thing with the thing again wow"

"That was Raymond, Tarii."

"whazza diff'rence? they're almost the same color..."

"You should probably lie down, Tarii."

"okay s'prob'ly a good idea yeah"

"SHINIES!"

Furetchen began dashing about the room, frantically plunging his hands into every Orcish pocket he could find.

"Shinies, guys! Money! We're rich!"

"Furetchen, that's about twenty gold."

"Baby steps, Zak my boy! Baby steps!"

"HRAAAAAH!"

"...I don't think I'm ever going to get used to that." mumbled Luka faintly.

"ahaha the splodey more the splodey!"

"Tarii, why are you standing again?"

Skitarii blinked repeatedly, but didn't answer.

"Hey guys the Orcs have bows too and they're shooting me and Raymond so we're gonna go kill it come help!"

"WHERE ARE THEY COMING FROM?!"

"graah."

"Thanks, Raymond. HEY LOOK AN ENEMY!"

"GRAAAAAAH!"

"gmph."

"Good job, Raymond."

"Hey what about me I did work too!"

"...good job, Acacia."

"I think we might be invading an Orc city." quipped Balcerzak. "...but, that's why I have Raymond. Go!"

"YEARGH!"

"That must be their leader, keeper of the biggest shinies! Tarii, what's he saying?"

"iuno man i really don't feel so good"

"Use your Necromancer powers then!"

"oh hey yeah i have those that's not a bad idea"

"whoo! Okay, feeling a little better now."

"HOLY SHIT BALCERZAK DID YOU JUST KILL SOMETHING?"

"I do what I have to."

"You kill some minor Orc but you won't heal me?"

"Pretty much."

"Stupid Orcs! Goddamn bows! I hate this place!" grumbled Acacia.

"WHAT?! Oh shit they have mages too! Raymond, run away time!"

"ok!"

"BALCIE NOOOOOOOO!!"

The next several seconds involved Raymond running around like a madman, cleaving everything in his path. Everybody in the party stayed clear of this path except Acacia, who ran along behind him stabbing things.

Finished, the party leaned on their weapons and caught their collective breath.

"So I guess we have to drag his sorry ass back to Icewind and pay for a resurrection?" asked Furetchen.

"He wasn't an Elf, was he? You have to pay double for Elves, I hear." Skitarii responded.

"I call totally not dibs on carrying him. He was pretty heavy and I ain't a big dude." said Acacia.

"Yoink! I totally call dibs on his stuff!" added Luka.

Raymond just frowned forlornly and picked up Balcerzak's limp body.

"I'll at least check out the room and see if he died for more than twenty gold."

"Sweet! Supply crates! ...why can't I open them?"

"OH SHIT GUYS HELP!"

Raymond and Acacia immediately rushed to Furetchen's aid. Skitarii hid far in the back while Luka pulled out his hammer and --

"Wait, Luka, when did you get a hammer?"

"I bought it with your money."

"whaaaaaat? Fucker! You don't even need it!"

"Saved your life just now, didn't it?"

----------

Fifteen hours later, back in Easthaven:

"Hm. These big doors look like a temple."

"...yeah. This is a temple. EXCUSE ME SIR! I'm looking to purchase some resurrection for my friend?"

"Sure thing, kid. Two questions first: where is he?"

"My compatriots should have dropped him off outside by now."

"Alright, I'll get an initiate on it. Second question: is he an Elf?"

"Does it matter?"

"We charge double for Elves."

"Oh. He's half, does that count?"

"Nah. That'll be a hundred gold."

Balcerzak awoke from a dream of Paradise with a start. No longer was he surrounded by butter and naked women - now it was he who was naked, and surrounding him? Snow.

"Fuck holy shit this is cold. Where's my stuff?"

As though on cue, Luka emerged from the temple.

"Hey dude! Glad to see you're looking less dead. Brought your stuff back."

"Gimme that. Fucking cold out here."

"Ain't that the truth. Welcome back, brother."

"Okay guys, formation time! Let's go into the tavern there and plan our next venture a little better."

"Hey, Furet! I see you're not bleeding anymore!"

"...no thanks to you."

"Oh come off it, you missed me."

"...welcome back."

----------

So what should we do? Go back into the cave and see how deep it goes or join Hrothgar's convoy and continue to the next area?

'til tomorrow!

Edited November 6, 2010 by Integrity