Let's Play! Icewind Dale

[Scarlet]

Whoa. Orcs giving us trouble already? No way!

Definitely go back in, though; there are some worthwhile things there to check out, IIRC.

But we should definitely prepare ourselves well. And we should bring some ranged weapons, there's an ogre in there. Those guys can OHKO basically everything, so we'll probably have to rely on hit & run. Maybe have the ogre target someone and then have that someone run around in circles while the others fire at the big dude with ranged weapons, that worked pretty well in my experience.

...I love how Icewind Dale forces you to come up with completely crazy strategies.

[Acacia Sgt]

Yeah, I second going back in. Just look how well we did in the first trip there XD.

Edited November 6, 2010 by Acacia Sgt

[IGdood]

As long as I can keep myself alive, sure.

-torrents- JK

[Balcerzak]

I love the personality you've given him. Bravo, and keep up the good work.

[Parrhesia]

fffffffff

Yes! Back into the cave to loot more stuff!

[Integrity]

Today wasn't pretty, but I learned how Bardsong works! Apparently it's not limited-use like 3E, but rather just something Acacia can stand and channel anywhere anytime.

----------

We last left our adventurers in the tavern, planning their next adventure better...

"We should probably get your undead ass patched up sometime, Balcie."

"Meh. I just need a little sleep, that's all."

Luka pointed to the east as the party walked out of Easthaven. "Hey, guys! Why don't we stay in the inn?"

"Nah," replied Furetchen, "We'll just take a few steps outside of town and set up camp. That's free!"

"But...but...beds. Warmth. Why do you hate me?"

----------

The sun rose.

"Ahh. See? Was that so bad?"

"...honestly, I'm going with Furetchen on this one. That wasn't too shabby."

"Good! We're gonna be doing it a lot, I think."

Our intrepid party entered the cave and sauntered past the corpses of their previous opponents.

"Hang on a sec, isn't this where I died? You sure you guys cleared this out?"

"What, aren't there enough loose axes attached to Orc arms for you?"

"...fair point. How many Orcs can fit in one cave anyway?"

"YOU SAID IT WAS CLEAR! LUKA SAID IT WAS FUCKING CLEAR!"

"...huh. Seems I was wrong."

"Guys, guys, can we focus on the important thing that's one of them is GLARING AT ME?!" Furetchen immediately commenced running in the opposite direction.

"Shit, shit, shit, I'm just a Mage! Don't hate me!" Skitarii yelled as he followed.

Luka stood in mute horror, having witnessed an Orcsplosion at the closest of ranges.

"I...guys...you...you got the rest of this, right? I'm...I'm gonna go --"

"OW!"

"Oh, shut it Tarii. That's barely a nick."

"Dammit, Balcerzak! It hurts!"

"You're fine. You're not even supposed to get hit."

Skitarii grumbled and shuffled off. "I'll just fix it myself then."

"OW HOLY GOD THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE INSIDE ME"

"RAYMOND, ATTACK!"

"GNAAAAAAAAAGH"

"B-Balcerzak...did you just...?"

"...you needed it."

"...thanks."

"I like these fights when Skitarii does things. Makes me use fewer arrows and that makes me happy because arrows are money ~~"

Skitarii stared at Furetchen blankly. "You do know it hurts to magic things, right?"

"Yeah but you're a tough guy, ain'cha?"

Skitarii just sighed.

"GUYS CHEST OH MY GOD THAT'S WHERE THEY KEEP GOOD STUFF!"

"THIS IS MAGICAL! What's it do what's it do what's it do oh why why why didn't I take an Identify scroll?"

"Hey!"

"...Casey? What?"

"I can identify things! Giveit!"

"YOU CAN?! HERE!"

Acacia beamed at his newfound usefulness and began to remove his armor.

"WHOA WHOA why you getting naked?!"

"I'm not getting naked, dipshit. I can't concentrate with heavy armor on."

"That's studded leather."

"The studs weigh a lot."

Finished with his task, Acacia began concentrating on the boots. Finished with that task, he proudly proclaimed...

"Boots of Sneaking!" and handed them back to Furetchen.

Luka chortled. "Maybe you'll be able to sneak now. Or maybe you can share them with Acacia and between you one will manage."

"Very funny, Luka. Thanks for that, Casey!"

"Hooray! No problem!"

"GRAH!"

"GRAAaauh?"

"SHAMAN!"

Fortunately for the party, without support Mages are not renowned for their resilience. The Orc was dispatched in a matter of seconds.

"HOLY SHIT WHERE'D FURETCHEN GO?!"

The shadows around Luka giggled madly. "Right heeeere, Luka! Riiight heee--"

"oh, shit."

"There you are."

"...ain't no way I'm going around that corner if any of you can see me. Raymond?"

"gruh."

Skitarii glanced over at Balcerzak. "These are my favorite kinds of fights - you know, the ones where nobody expects us to help?"

"You know, I think I have to agree with you there. Lemonade?"

"Holy shit you brought lemonade?"

"Yeah. Like you said, not like we're doing anything."

"Well then hell yes give it!"

Glassed clinked. "Cheers!"

"GUYS HELP!"

"Wait, was that Raymond's voice?" asked Balcerzak.

"I...think it was." responded Skitarii. Both put their glasses away and glanced nervously at each other.

"Shit's gone bad."

"Yep."

Piled in the narrow passageway, the Orcs had nowhere to go but through Raymond - and Raymond most definitely was not letting them through. Through Acacia bravely standing behind him and thrusting away with a spear and the Furetchen shooting his missiles and the Mage blasting away - and Luka singing - the Orcish horde was cut to shreds. Now for the Ogre...

"OWWWW OH GOD RUNNING AWAY TIME"

Raymond chased the Ogre, grunting at it in a pattern that sounded suspiciously rhythmic.

"Hey, Skitarii?"

"Yeah, Luka?"

"Is he..."

"...talking Ogre? Yeah."

"Huh."

"WIDE OPEN CHAMBER! KEEP RUNNING, BALCERZAK! WE GOT THIS!"

Luka glanced over at Furetchen. "Hang on a minute."

Furetchen looked back, then looked around. "Huh? Wait, wait, where's Casey?"

"My thoughts exactly."

MEANWHILE:

"One more archer to go. Man, and they thought I was a useless spazz."

Finally convinced he couldn't catch Balcerzak, the Ogre responded to Raymond's taunts in his native tongue.

This allowed Raymond to swing his axe more reliably, and did not end well for the Ogre.

"HUZZAH!" shouted Skitarii. "Wait, where's Acacia?"

"urk..." muttered Acacia. "Think that was the last one. Hey! A chest!"

"He'll be sorely missed. Guess we gotta find his body and drag it back to Easthaven?"

"HEY GUYS!"

"JESUS WHAT?!"

"Had to kill a couple archers! I brought you guys things from the treasure room!"

Acacia rummaged around in his pack. "For you, Luka, a winter wolf pelt and a caravan contract!"

"...thanks, but..why?"

"'cause I didn't know what to do with them and you usually do."

"Huh. Alright."

"And for you, Skitarii," Acacia looked proudly at a piece of paper, "a Necromancy scroll!"

"NO SHIT SERIOUSLY?!" Skitarii took the paper with reverence. "I...I don't recognize this spell. IT MUST BE MINE!"

Satisfied with their haul and having explored the entire cave system, the party returned to Easthaven.

"Ah, back into the pub. I'm gettin' thirsty." said Furetchen.

"OW FUCK SKITARII WHY?!"

"SHIT! Sorry man! Didn't mean for that to go off!"

The entire party giggled.

[IGdood]

HA!

I can scare things off now!

[Acacia Sgt]

Heh, that was a close call...

Well, at least I aquired some treasure for the party.

[Integrity]

ITT: Luka talks a lot and we end with some FORCED COMMUNITY PARTICIPATION!

----------

"So that dwarf chick said we should go talk to Hrothgar for riches and fame."

"Hang on, Luka, that was a dwarf chick?"

"Yeah, I know! Couldn't believe it myself!"

"...wait, how did you..."

"'course I did. You expect any less of me?"

Slightly disturbed, the party sought out Hrothgar's house.

"I bet this is Hrothgar's house, 'cause he's got an important name and this is an impressive house."

Luka walked over to the man standing around in battle armor. "Excuse me, sir? Are you Hrothgar?"

"Damn straight I am, boy. And who are you?"

Skitarii laughed. "Well fuck me, Casey was right."

"I'm Luka, sir, a simple bard seeking to acquire new tales!" Luka finished this sentence with a flourish. "I heard you were leading an expedition into the mountains or the heart of evil or some such, and I gathered friends to assist!"

"Hang on," muttered Furetchen, "this was my idea."

"Well then, boy, I guess you're signed on. We're going to attack EVIL ITSELF at its source in Kuldahar! Well, maybe not EVIL ITSELF, but certainly something most foul."

"Awesome! When do we leave?"

"First, can you go figure out where the supply caravan Pomab promised me is? Shit's been late for, like, HOURS now."

"Actually, we already found the caravan." Luka showed Hrothgar the caravan contract Acacia had found in the caves.

"Well damn. Oh well. Lazy jackass must've forgotten to buy guards."

"Wouldn't surprise me. So, really, when do we leave?"

"We don't have any of the supplies yet."

"...what?"

"Here. Take this list to Pomab the Jackass and make him give us our supplies for free. You lot can buy whatever you want. Pip pip! Jog on!"

Bemused, the party left Hrothgar's house.

"...asshole. He's gonna make us pay for stuff and get it free for himself?" whined Furetchen.

"You have GOT to be joking. He's setting up an expedition and doesn't have supplies?" wondered Skitarii.

"Well, let's go get those supplies for him. I want free stuff from Pomab, even if it's for somebody else." finished Luka, as he started to walk away.

Luka waltzed in through the front door ahead of his comrades, swaggered up to Pomab, and thrust the contract in his face. "This shit says you have to give us everything on the list for free or we get to kill you and take it."

"What the fuck it doesn't say that!"

Luka looked back at his party. "Okay, I added the last part. Pay. Now."

Following these shenanigans, the team returned to Hrothgar.

"'kay, we delivered your contract." said Luka.

"Good, good, now we can be off!"

"What holy shit really?"

----------

Traveling through the mountains, the expedition fifty-strong was ambushed by Frost Giants. These colossal douchebags decided to drop an entire avalanche on the expedition. Forty-four either attacked or attempted to run backwards to Easthaven. Six blatant cowards saw the Giants and ran as fast as they could forwards, towards Kuldahar. Out of the fifty, six survived.

----------

"Fuck! What the fuck? What. The. FUCK?" chanted Furetchen.

"I think a rock might have crushed my something, 'cause something really hurts right now." whined Balcerzak.

"That didn't go too well." keenly observed Acacia.

"Hate freakin' Frost Giants." grumbled Raymond.

"Actually, Balcerzak, that's, er, still the little nick I gave you back in Easthaven." mumbled Skitarii.

"Ho, sir hermit!" shouted Luka.

"Hey there. I was in my cave and saw all you guys die."

"Well we're okay. Which way to Kuldahar?"

"What? Why do you want to go to THAT shithole?"

"We're purging the lands of evil and taking their stuff."

"Fair. It's, uh, thataway." The hermit gestured vaguely east.

"Thanks dude."

"Yeah, whatever."

The group decided to get some sleep.

"Ah, much better. Finally feeling myself again!" groaned Balcerzak over breakfast.

"What the fuck he didn't say there would be more goddamn goblins?!" shouted Furetchen, incredulously.

"Where there's one there're more! Bet there's even more over there!"

"Shut up, Casey."

"Hang on. Zak, are those walls?"

"Why yes, Tarii, I think they are."

"There's got to be a big group of them in there, Zak."

"Yes, Tarii, I think there will be."

"Bet we're gonna have to help, huh Zak?"

"Probably so, Tarii."

"It looks like a raided farm or something and there are a lot of pissed goblins!" shouted Acacia. "Stabbing times!"

This picture has no plot or character relevance. I just don't think *I'M* ever going to get tired of the explosions.

A goblin pushed his way past Balcerzak and growled something.

"Wait a minute, what? Fine, be a jerk!"

"See what being a jerk gets you?"

"HOLY FUCK WHERE'D THIS CORPSE COME FROM?!"

"You're welcome, Furetchen."

Acacia began swearing very colorfully, finishing with "GODDAMN CHICKEN GET OFF MY LOOT!"

After a hearty chuckle, the party decided to take the south road around the farmstead.

"Knew there'd be more of the bastards." grumbled Furetchen.

"OW! Fuck, that nicked my ear!"

"GRAHHH!" shouted Raymond in Common.

"FUCK FUCK FUCK OH GOD FUCK" shouted the goblin in Goblish.

"You know," said Balcerzak, "I distinctly do not trust that bridge."

"Make that six of us, I think."

"They just keep walking into my spears. Spears usually break after all this." grumbled Acacia. "Hell, my arms might break if they keep this up."

"Really? Fuck you, goblin. Fuck. You."

"Now now, Luka, calm down. We'll just shoot him right back."

Finished with this latest ambush, the party realized they had their choice of bridges to cross. The northern rickety wood one, or the southern smooth stone one? FORCED COMMUNITY PARTICIPATION

----------

Incidentally, Furetchen, Luka, Skitarii, and Balcerzak are starting to get really close to leveling. Each class has its own XP requirement per level - with Thief being the lowest I believe - so Balcerzak is only just over halfway there. Acacia has been splitting all XP evenly among his three classes so he's at something silly like Fighter 1 400/2000, Thief 1 400/1200, Mage 1 400/1250.

Edited November 8, 2010 by Integrity

[Scarlet]

When in doubt, always go with what would seem to be the worse decision. So to the wooden bridge, it is!

Actually, we could just as well cross the stone bridge and go back afterwards, there's nothing there anyway.

[Acacia Sgt]

The wooden bridge looks more promising....

Say, does that means I'll quickly get behind in EXP... oh well...

[Scarlet]

Say, does that means I'll quickly get behind in EXP... oh well...

Somewhat, but then again not quite. It takes you longer to level up at all, but once you level up, you basically gain three level ups in quick succession, so at least your HP should mostly be up to par. Of course, you'll not be that good at any of your class-specific abilities, as you'll be something like level 3 fighter, level 4 thief, level 3 mage by the time others are like level 8 or 9 in their respective class.

[Integrity]

You get an extra hit die for each class that levels? That's slightly better - I thought it only gave you hit dice equal to your toughest class times its level. :P

[Balcerzak]

You get an extra hit die for each class that levels? That's slightly better - I thought it only gave you hit dice equal to your toughest class times its level. :P

I had thought it was something like you gain [Hit die]/[# of classes] each time you level, but it's been ages since I read my 2nd ed. manuals.

[Scarlet]

I had thought it was something like you gain [Hit die]/[# of classes] each time you level, but it's been ages since I read my 2nd ed. manuals.

I'd guess that the starting HP are determined this way rather than the extra HP you get upon a level up. If this formula were used for the extra HP upon gaining a level, by the time you had, say, 6000 Exp in total (to be a level 2 fighter, level 3 thief and level 2 mage), you'd still only have like 20 HP if that were the case, while your average level 4 fighter would already have some 56-ish HP with the same amount of Exp.

But I have to admit that I'm not 100% certain either; it's been a long time since I last actually played, and even longer since I last had a multi-class character. ^^'

[riariadne]

Go with the wooden bridge. They never fail in these sort of situations.

[Parrhesia]

Wooden, creaky, badly built bridges are totally the way to freedom.

_{Looking over the statsheets, I like how the two guys who are ... bluntly, probably the smartest of us, have the lowest two listed intelligences. I blame Darths&Droids syndome.}

[Integrity]

The bridge question was quickly called to a vote, and the vote was unanimous: rickety wooden bridge.

"I bet Goblins." said Acacia.

"Goddammit Casey stop doing that. You're always right and I don't want you to be right."

"TOLD YOU SO!"

"Tarii, what do you think his fascination with Goblins stems from?"

"Well, Zak, I think he sees them as his kindred."

A hearty laugh ensued, followed by chaos.

"That must be their leader. Quickly, Luka, let's --"

"Hi, I'm Acacia. What's your name?"

"Herlow. Dunno name. Head hurts."

"Aw, why's your head hurt?"

"Dunno. Why I in pass? Stupid robesey."

After some short banter, Acacia returned to the stunned party.

"I think he's been mind-controlled. He's not a bad guy."

"...oooookay. What?" responded Furetchen blankly.

"Anyway, I think there's something in that mill. Let's go check it out! Bet it's Goblins!"

"...smell Orcs." said Raymond.

As the party entered the mill, Raymond grunted approvingly to himself.

"WE'RE ORCS! You're gonna pay tribute!"

"Whoa now buddy, calm down." Luka stepped forward. "What's this?"

"We're Orcs and WE OWN THIS MILL. Pay tribute OR DIE."

"Well here's a problem, then. We don't feel like paying tribute. Sorry, man."

"THEN YOU DIE."

Raymond blinked slowly, then relocated his shoulder with a mumbled "ow."

"That was bloody."

"No shit, really?"

Luka stooped over the corpse of the talking Orc. "Hey, guys, magic stuff!" He threw a dagger to Acacia.

"Aw, man, a dagger? Nobody even wants daggers here." Acacia began removing his armor.

"Oh well, guess we can sell it."

"If we ever find Kuldahar."

"True. What about those stairs?"

"What, you think they lead to Kuldahar?"

"Nah. Goblins."

"Hell yes, REDEEMED!"

"Fuck. OW."

"Shut up, Luka. Take it like a man, like Raymond did."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you guys. The Orc dude had a magic scroll on his body. I think I can scribe it."

Skitarii perked up and then suddenly looked distraught. "NOOOO I'M THE MAGE HERE!"

"Too late. Yoink!"

"Plus, it's Illusion. You're not even allowed to use Illusion magic."

"That's true, I guess. Damn."

Acacia pointed to a ladder in the opposite corner of the room. "I vote we go up there."

"Lemme guess."

"Yep!"

"Boom! Yeah, bitches!"

"Doesn't seem to be any way out of here. You got anything, Casey?"

"Nope, sorry Furetchen."

"Do we have to backtrack through all that again?"

Entire minutes later, the party exited the mill.

"Hey Goblin bro! You feelin' any better?"

"Go 'way, head hurts."

"Aw, sorry little dude. I'll figure it out!"

"So that stone bridge was totally pointless?"

"Yep."

"Wait, what the fuck is --?"

"Huh. When'd he get there?"

"You know," started Luka, "we could probably just follow the road north."

"That's probably a good idea."

"Even I'm starting to get sick of Goblins."

Raymond grunted an affirmation.

"WHOA HOLY SHIT OMINOUS TOWER!" said Furetchen with a start.

"Probably full of Goblin archers waiting to pincushion you." laughed Luka.

"No way there's Goblins in there." mumbled Acacia in awe.

"Tarii, you think something nasty's in there gonna cut them up?"

"Yep, Zak, I do. Bet it's got some decent loot, though."

"I'll go first?" finished Raymond with a sigh.

----------

Furetchen is 25xp away from level 2

I'm not even going to ask you guys if you want to go in the tower, because it's too tempting and I know you'd all say yes.

[Integrity]

Somehow this thread is directly relevant to dishwashers.

----------

When we last left our intrepid heroes, they were staring at a stone tower.

"Luka, quit hiding and get over here."

"No. You all go in first."

"DAMMIT LUKA!"

"Fine, fine."

Balcerzak screamed in sudden flashback agony. "FUCK OGRE AND NOWHERE TO RUN!"

"Hang on, Zak, he's not attacking. If he's not attacking, that's a job for Luka."

"...uh, hi Mr. Ogre?"

"Me smash your face off."

"...you didn't say that with much zest. What's, uh, wrong?"

"Head hurt."

"Why's your head hurt, Mr. Ogre?"

"I BET HE'S BEING MIND CONTROLLED!" Acacia interjected.

"Shut up, Casey! This is a delicate situation!"

"Came to answer call, now can't. Ghereg want to bash head into wall to fix hurt."

"er, I don't think that'd work, Ghereg."

"Yeah, you probably right."

"...uh, bye Ghereg."

"Later."

Exiting the tower, the party shared a bewildered glance. Skitarii, voicing all their thoughts, asked:

"What the hell was that about?"

"Dunno, man. Let's keep following the road?"

"It's pretty dark in there, guys." Balcerzak said nervously. "I don't like it."

"Don't be a pussy, Balcie. You've got Raymond."

"Yeah, guess that's true. I'll just ...stand here, behind him."

"I TOLD YOU THIS WASN'T A GOOD IDEA!"

"HOLY SHIT GOBLINS!"

"LUKA, FURET, GET THE ARCHERS!"

"ON IT!"

"YEAH! RUN! RUN FROM CASEY, BITCHES!"

"Whew."

"That's was ...uh, wow."

"Yeah."

"HOLY SHIT WHAT'S THIS FEELING GUYS!"

"Furet! You're...glowing!"

!

Two attacks per round. OH FUCK YES! Put all those points in Stealth, by the way.

"Ow, fuck! There're still MORE of them?"

----------

Nine hours later:

Furetchen stopped the party. "Hang on, hang on, wait a minute. I KNOW we didn't kill those guys."

Acacia blinked, remembering the previous carnage. "You're right. We didn't. ...what did? What's in that cave? Let's go look in that cave."

"I agree with the spazz."

The party lapsed into silence for a time, broken finally by Acacia's muttering of "...beetles?"

Skitarii gasped. "Not just any beetles! Giant beetles! These are stronger than a man and tougher than his armor!"

----------

AUTHOR'S NOTE: These beetles could fucking one-shot Raymond from full. I am not fucking joking. They were, however, worth a whopping 120xp per. Many, MANY restarts ensued.

----------

"One down, three to go. Let's get some sleep and go back in."

"...you hear something?"

Acacia sniffed the air. "Hey, guys, there's a Goblin around."

"And that's two. Oh, ding motherfuckers."

"Hey, grats Luka."

Luka did not get a second attack per round or, really, anything except three extra HP. Much fighting later:

"Yeow. That's all of them. Let's loot the Goblins!"

Furetchen rummaged around for a while, finally coming up with a gemstone and...

"HOLY SHIT MAGIC ARROWS! Casey! CASEY!!"

"Here, man, right behind you."

"Awesome." Acacia handed them back to Furetchen.

"Thanks man!"

"Only nine of them, though." remarked Skitarii. "We're gonna have to savor them. At least we can hurt ghosts and shit now through somebody not me."

Finally, convinced there were no other exits to this section of mountain, the party proceeded backwards.

"I bet it had somebody to do with the stone bridge."

"You got a gambling problem, Casey?"

"Naw. I just like how it sounds."

"...how did we miss this?"

"Fuck if I know. Oh well, we found it."

"Wonder what's this way?"

Eight hours of walking through snows not infested by Goblins later:

Total silence.

"Did we actually..." began Furetchen.

"...holy shit, this can't be..." continued Acacia.

"EXCUSE ME, SIR!" shouted Luka at a nearby boy. "Where are we?"

"You're in Kuldahar, silly!"

The party nearly wept with relief.

[Scarlet]

----------

AUTHOR'S NOTE: These beetles could fucking one-shot Raymond from full. I am not fucking joking. They were, however, worth a whopping 120xp per. Many, MANY restarts ensued.

----------

Whoa, what the hell? I don't remember them being that strong. ...of course, that might be because they never actually tried to fight back when I attacked them. Dunno why.

[Integrity]

Whoa, what the hell? I don't remember them being that strong. ...of course, that might be because they never actually tried to fight back when I attacked them. Dunno why.

They were dodgy about counterattacking. Furetchen could stand across the room and shoot them forever and they'd never react (actually, I killed one this way) and Tarii and Balcerzak could shoot their spells and they'd never react. Once one of you was in melee, they still wouldn't react - for about ten seconds. Then they'd turn to attack the nearest and their target priority would shift FAST. The smallest hit I saw landed on you was for 8 damage. Once. Every other one was between 14 and 24 non-crit.

[Scarlet]

They were dodgy about counterattacking. Furetchen could stand across the room and shoot them forever and they'd never react (actually, I killed one this way) and Tarii and Balcerzak could shoot their spells and they'd never react. Once one of you was in melee, they still wouldn't react - for about ten seconds. Then they'd turn to attack the nearest and their target priority would shift FAST. The smallest hit I saw landed on you was for 8 damage. Once. Every other one was between 14 and 24 non-crit.

I see.

But 14 to 24 damage? Ouuuch. That almost makes ogres look like weaklings.

[Integrity]

I see.

But 14 to 24 damage? Ouuuch. That almost makes ogres look like weaklings.

No, that DOES make Ogres look like weaklings. No almost about it. :P

[eclipse]

. . .thank you for wasting my morning.

This is hilarious as hell, even if I'm not in it. Please continue!

[Acacia Sgt]

So I now have an affinity for Goblins or something. lol