Let's Play: Shogun 2 Total War

[Parrhesia]

Creative Assembly, but yes...they really tried to work hard after how a lot of fans complained about Empire and Napoleon.

Also, Furetchen, if I manage to roll out an Archer Hero, he's probably your incarnation on the battlefield.

Considering that you're green, and the Verteans are in general specialised as archers, I think Matthew Skintfield may be a more accurate Imported Bowmaster. But thank you kindly~

[IGdood]

A white person? In my game? I hope this won't turn out to be Last Samurai....TOMOO CRUISOO

Edited March 21, 2011 by skitarii

[IGdood]

Update GET.

After waiting a turn to replenish my forces somewhat it is now imperative I attack Iwami.

I'll try to showcase some of the units that we haven't quite used yet.

Arrer Boy: So...I heard you monks like to twirl your polearms while you pray.

Monk:......

Arrer Boy: And why are you barefoot? It's fockin cold.

Monk: May you come to Buddha's hand someday.

Support Grade Increased

Once again, the enemy places their bow ashigaru on the side of the castle that won't be under attack. Go figure.

I divided the assault force into two teams. Team 1 will consist of Yari Ashigaru and Yari samurai and Bow Ashigaru. Team 2 will consist of the Kisho Ninja, Katana Hero, Bomb Throwers, Rewjeo's Monks, and the Arrer Boyz.

It was at this point that I realized that the Bow Warrior Monks could shoot farther than the Arrer Boyz Bow Samurai. Trololololol. The range difference can be seen in the space between those two red lines.

No matter, give coverin' fire!

Covering fire covered in fire to cover those foolishly foolish fools of foolish tomfoolery in fire. FIRE. FIRE. KILL THEM WITH FIRE.

Once again, the yari ashigaru rush in first to die.

Obligatory epic shots of ninja + katana hero. I swear the hero is Oujay.

I thought I'd circle around with the Bomb Throwers, but SUDDENLY YARI ASHIGARU. FALL BACK

Someone rains arrows down. Several kisho get owned.

Caught a shot of a rebel ashigaru trying to kick a samurai.

Amidst all the chaos, the bomb throwers find an opening and run through it. The yari ashigaru on the other side of the fort seem to be having a tough time.

GOT A PRESENT FOR YA

Unfortunately I manage to bomb some of my own. Oh well. They are expendable generics.

Let's bomb some archers for the lulz.

I order my katana hero to get out of the way while the bomb throwers build up enough torque to sling their clay pots.

Bombs leave craters and send victims flying. You can see this here.

Despite the seemingly devastating destruction, not too many of them actually died. It's more of a morale shock weapon than anything, and I order my katana hero to finish them off.

Here a rebel who was slashed in the abdomen attempts to crawl away but dies.

Iwami is OURS.

LOL at the katana hero.

Hm, the Bow Monks got more kills.

And I found gold.

[Integrity]

GOT A PRESENT FOR YA

Bombs look sweet as hell, not like those pussy grenades from Empire.

[General Herpus Derpus]

Bombs look sweet as hell, not like those pussy grenades from Empire.

Now all they need is sexy capes. :P

[Parrhesia]

Well, we both lost in kills to a group of Bow Peons.

The shame.

[Rewjeo]

It's the bare feet.

Edit: And the fact that these were Buddhist Rebels. Clearly my monks are especially good at killing their brethren.

Also, this is really making me wish I could get this game.

Edit 2: Well, per unit, my guys got the most kills, but total the Bow Ashigaru got the most and individual deployed per individual enemy killed the fire bomb throwers got first.

Edited March 21, 2011 by Rewjeo

[IGdood]

Bombs look sweet as hell, not like those pussy grenades from Empire.

Yeah, the Empire grenades only poofed into smoke.

Now all they need is sexy capes. :P

Lol bomb-toting ashigaru can't wear capes!

Well, we both lost in kills to a group of Bow Peons.

The shame.

You trained them dude. Shouldn't you be proud Furet? D:

It's the bare feet.

Edit: And the fact that these were Buddhist Rebels. Clearly my monks are especially good at killing their brethren.

Also, this is really making me wish I could get this game.

Edit 2: Well, per unit, my guys got the most kills, but total the Bow Ashigaru got the most and individual deployed per individual enemy killed the fire bomb throwers got first.

They're good at scaring their brethren. Christian rebels...on the other hand.....well they'll still die just as easily.

Another update~

Back to my clan summary screen, I'm monitoring the Clan Fame meter. I can't let it get too high, or else the Realm Divide will happen, and I don't think I'm prepared for that. I think I can take a few more provinces before shit hits the fan. I've got the Mori as my vassals and the Chosokabe as trusty allies (hopefully).

Old Man Takahisa boards a ship, with 3 units of katana cavalry/Pineapple Huggers attached.

The Hattori attack my Mori vassal? It's on!

This was a pretty hard decision to make. Usually I'm a win-at-all-costs type of person but the atmosphere and setting of honor has really gotten into me. I pay the 2500.

Hm, the Ouchi are gone...

Tadazumi...please don't get STDs.

As I said earlier, with the Choskabe and Mori between me and the Hattori, I am free to screw over the Amako.

Yoshihisa prepares for another siege assault....and then..holy shit look at all those samurai! Plus it's winter. He decides to retreat for the time being.

Hooray, now I can be competent at sea.

The Amako think they can save themselves by taking Suo. They didn't see Takahisa on his MOTHERFUCKING KOBAYA.

Nagato goes down since the Amako moved their army out for some reason.

The Shogun sends a warning that he's really pissed off at me. I think maybe I can take 2-3 more provinces before he goes batshit insane?

Takahisa is ready to kill some Amakos. Their katana samurai can prove deadly to my infantry despite my number advantage, but this is where the Pineapple Huggers will come into play. I can't help but smile whenever I see that name.

Here are some Naginata Samurai. Check out the horns on their helmets.

Naginata Warrior Monks. They rely on demoralizing the enemy by trolling and shouting curses at them to win battles. They're also pretty damn dangerous in fighting.

Here's a unit of katana cavalry. Pineapple huggers look pretty ready to slice and dice through enemy formations.

Level 3 katana samurai. The Amako must have worked pretty hard to get these units.

I've placed the Naginata Monks and No-Dachi behind the Yari Ashigaru. Their lack of armor makes them vulnerable to arrows. The cavalry are to the rear of the formation, but shifted to the side. This lets them easily circle around and hit enemies on the sides and rear.

Nice weather today.

I let the bow ashigaru have a shootout with their samurai archers. Once their katana samurai start moving I'll retreat the archers and send forth all my infantry.

The katana samurai are on the move. Time for the battle to truly begin.

For some reason they're shifting their whole formation to climb the hill (for a possible height bonus?) This opens up an opportunity for the Pineapple Huggers to catch stragglers in the rear.

2 units of bow ashigaru are on the retreat. The other 2 continue firing.

One unit of katana cavalry take fire arrows to the face, but they continue to charge.

Foolish Amako, leaving their archers in the open.

The Huggers continue charging into the katana samurai, who are vulnerable to cavalry. Meanwhile, I order 2 units of bow ashi to rotate and continue firing into that enemy mass.

Here I retreat the huggers. Their charge bonus has worn out and the samurai are overwhelming them.

I charge all my infantry forward, and hope that my men can outlast theirs.

A few warcries from my monks sends their morale into the drain. They flee the field and my men give chase.

Can't run from the PINEAPPLES

Decisive victory.

Edited March 22, 2011 by skitarii

[IGdood]

Takahisa levels up, and I put points in Honor, which will help with clan relations, and religion.

He also gets a retainer who keeps him from dying of old age....well more like the chance of dying per turn is lowered.

Ninja explores. Ninja sabotages.

I can finally build a Pirate Fortress in Bungo. All future ships produced in Bungo will come at level 5. You know how long it'll take to level up to level 5?

Looks like the Chosokabe have expanded to the mainland.

Out of boredom, I decide to propose an alliance to the Ashikaga Shogunate. I offer some money and Yoshihisa's son as a hostage. Hostages are used to boost up chances of successful negotiations. Basically, for 8 turns, if I piss off the Ashikaga Shogunate, they have the right to kill Yoshihisa's son.

It's a success. Those black blocks are a graphical glitch, for some reason.

Hm, a Christian preacher? Eh, why not. I let him spead the Word of the lord.

A unit of Pineapple Huggers is exchanged into Yoshihisa's army for a unit of yari cavalry.

Yoshihisa prepares to move eastward on the northern side of the land.

Takahisa takes the southern side. We cross Chosokabe lands.

Tokugawa randomly asks for a trade agreement. Sure.

Last of the Amako...

Meanwhile at home, I just realized the Siege Engineers' Workshop can be upgraded to Powder Maker. This grants me access to Mangonels, which are catapults that fire flaming pots, basically a giant, stationary version of the Bomb Throwers.

Izumo's mine. The Amako are history.

Checking my fame meter, I think I should put my conquests on hold here and turtle up some more. That means updates will get boring, and you guys will probably die of boredom and Yoshi and Taka will die of old age.

[Rewjeo]

So, if the Shogunate declares war on you, will the Mori and Chosokabe help you? If so, it really wouldn't be that bad. Between the three of you, you control about a third of the land area and probably half the provinces. Financially it looks like you'd be fine, too.

Can I just have all the warrior monk guys? (They aren't actually Buddhist. That's my cover. They're part of my cult. Don't let anyone know!)

[eclipse]

Oh well. Thanks for making the Pineapple Huggers useful (even if they suck on camera).

[IGdood]

They may, although they might also be persuaded to join the Shogunate unless I bribe them back. Who knows, the Realm Divide usually winds up with two supergroups of clans duking it out on land and sea. The Mori might backstab me because they're my vassal. The Chosokabe might suddenly pull off a naval invasion on my barely-fortified castles, but who knows. Maybe they'll uphold their honor and stick with me, maybe they'll join the Shogunate.

And sure, you can have all the monks. Maybe if you get lucky I can roll out a Naginata Monk Hero.

@ eclipse

They sucked on camera? I'll...try to make better screenshots x_x

Edited March 22, 2011 by skitarii

[Rewjeo]

Oh, I just saw a mod that will basically guarantee they'll help you, if you want: http://forums.totalwar.com/showthread.php/11816-Realm-Divide-Mod

(Yeah, I'm prowling forums for this game and I don't have it.)

I don't think you really can get the full effect of a cavalry charge in still shots. Maybe more people flying through the air as a result of the charge?

[IGdood]

Hmm.. I think I'll keep things on the fun side and not use that mod, but thanks.

Yeah, I really can't, but then at least you see people flying around from bombs and the horses. I'd like to record using FRAPS, but then gameplay will lag horribly.

[Parrhesia]

This LP made me reinstall Rome Total War.

My first two sons have one single Influence star. Between them. And nothing else. And one of them taxes inefficiently.

...hopefully your next generation has the opposite luck.

Edited March 22, 2011 by Furetchen

[eclipse]

One of my Pineapple Huggers had his eyes closed and mouth open in a random screen shot you posted.

[IGdood]

This LP made me reinstall Rome Total War.

My first two sons have one single Influence star. Between them. And nothing else. And one of them taxes inefficiently.

...hopefully your next generation has the opposite luck.

Ah, glad to know I had the power to do that. XD

Dang. I usually don't use generals in my armies though....

One of my Pineapple Huggers had his eyes closed and mouth open in a random screen shot you posted.

Ah, it must've been the sun.

It would appear now would be a good time to train some Matchlock Ashigaru.

The problem is, who died? Still, knowing an enemy ninja roams my lands is discomforting.

Ah, another black ship. With my current navy, I believe I can take on it when I find it.

I thought this was funny.

As I explore around, I find that the Chosokabe are really powerful. I'm still turtling, so I'll wait for a development before I take action.

Except the Black Ship found me.

So I split my navy into one-ship fleets and decide to trap the Black Ship.

It worked. A turn later, it couldn't move. At this point I ordered a queue of Heavy Bunes and Sengoku Bunes from all nearby ports.

Yoshihisa's son is returned safely.

I swear, what the hell is Tadazumi up to?

I order my monk to troll once more, but he got permabanned.

This is a heavy bune. It's like a slower, sturdier version of the medium bune.

The development I was waiting for seems to have happened. Mori and Chosokabe have erupted into war. I side with the Chosokabe.

Sorry Mori.

Yeah, the Mori don't like me very much.

Meanwhile, I set up a trade agreement with the Sakai clan.

A shadow falls over the Mori lands. I no longer know what's going in there.

Okay, somebody's definitely fucking around with me.

Hooray, I've mastered Chonindo. Now income should rise a bit and I can produce more food to supply my castles.

A sudden trade bonus is always welcome.

So that's the ninja who was --WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH YOUR FACE

I recruit some Metsuke and have them manage the towns close to the Chosokabe. Trust nobody.

Yay, a daughter.

Well, somebody killed off all the Hattori....

By the way, the Mori just kicked the Chosokabe out of Bitchu. I have Takahisa wait there when the time comes for conquering.

Meanwhile Yoshihisa will head somewhere else.

And for the lulz I take out some Mori general.

Oh what the, who's building a new legendary building?

The Date again. They'll be really dangerous when it comes to the Realm Divide.

Yay, I've mastered Noh....which gives my generals more loyalty....as if they needed anymore.

I choose to research Bow Expertise next.

After I've gathered enough ships I decide to attempt to capture this Black Ship.

Most likely I'll bumrush it to board with Sengoku Bunes and shower it with arrows from the other bune and kobaya.

That's...HUGE.

GLORY TO THE FIRST SHIP TO SINK!

A full volley of cannon fire causes this Sengoku Bune's morale to drop to Wavering.

They board anyways. The commanding captain dies soon after.

All my ships just look plain tiny....

The Black Ship hasn't even taken that many casualties...

Fiiiiiiireeee all arrows!

Meanwhile, two Heavy Bune arrive. They're like a tiny floating block of fort.

The battle seems to be in my favor so far. As long as I board the Black Ship, it cannot fire its cannons.

[IGdood]

A few failed boardings later, the Black Ship lets loose with cannon fire that OHKO's a medium bune and later on an incoming Sengoku bune. Bitch be tripping balls.

Poor sailors...they're trying to stay afloat...

I try to keep my ships to the front and rear of the Black Ship, where the cannons cannot reach. It doesn't work too well, except with the Bow Kobaya.

Occasionally I manage to set it on fire for a limited amount of time.

Not to mention, there are about 20 or so matchlock marines on the Black Ship firing at any time.

Black ship's morale is still very confident....

More routing from my fleet, but luckily I still have reinforcements.

A heavy bune manages to hook on to the Black Ship. Boarding ensues.

The kill ratio is about 1:1. I don't get it, my guys are wearing armor and using katanas on Europeans who are only wearing the shirts on their backs and using....possibly lower quality swords.

I made a stupid mistake of not watching where my Bow Kobaya were when I told them to use flaming arrows. They ended up lighting the heavy bune on fire and making it surrender.

But, we are the Shimazu, the green tide. Where one bune falls, 2 more will take its place.

After a long time where the game pretty much repeated all of its battle tracks (there are 5) 2 times the Black Ship's crew finally wavers,

This time no seamen or marines ran outside to meet my boarders. Instead, the boarders ran into the Black Ship and promptly began fighting there.

Then, I'm informed that the Black Ship had surrendered, and the boarders returned to the bune. Unfortunately the bune drifted a bit from the black ship, and the boarders jumped to their deaths in the sea....

Despite being told that the Black Ship had surrendered, I did not capture it. It had retreated some distance away. Luckily, two of my fleets were able to catch it. Round 2.

Same strategy as before, board with fast-moving Sengoku Bune to prevent cannons from firing, pelt with arrows from everything else. However, the Black Ship only had 4 cannons left.

First Sengoku Bune wavers, oh well. Send in the next!

By pressing the insert key, I get to change the camera such that I can see from the point of view of one of my sailors. lololol this is indooors.

The Black Ship is now mine!

Would you look at those fucking stats. 1500 UPKEEP? SHIT. I should disband half my navy to feed this colossal beast.

[Parrhesia]

Dang. I usually don't use generals in my armies though....

After the Epic Slaughter of Cornelius Brutus, who strode into Macedon with one command star to his name through his Ugliness, and only fell after carving both Macedonia and Greece apart (also an autoresolve killed like half my Cretan Archers), I DEMAND MERCENARY CAPABILITIES.

Also;

HIROYUKI SAKAI

And, um...'Diego Fernandez'? In -that- armour?!

[eclipse]

It sounds like someone smooshed two last names together. May that huge hulking, er, thing keep afloat always.

[IGdood]

After the Epic Slaughter of Cornelius Brutus, who strode into Macedon with one command star to his name through his Ugliness, and only fell after carving both Macedonia and Greece apart (also an autoresolve killed like half my Cretan Archers), I DEMAND MERCENARY CAPABILITIES.

Also;

HIROYUKI SAKAI

And, um...'Diego Fernandez'? In -that- armour?!

Good luck on your RTW campaign...it looks to be going decently so far.

Isn't that the iron chef...?

And yes, he's clearly wearing the wrong armor.

It sounds like someone smooshed two last names together. May that huge hulking, er, thing keep afloat always.

It most likely will, now I only need to worry about my land forces. I'm sure your katana + yari wielding Pineapple Huggers will keep my men safe from enemy archers and cavalry, provided I can use them effectively, which I can't because I suck at commanding cavalry like Sami sucks at commanding vehicles in Advance Wars.

The Chosokabe immediately sic on the Mori like a hungry vulture. I decide that before they can get any stronger, I should get myself a piece of the Mori provinces.

The Mori must be annihilated for the good of the Shimazu clan.

I besiege the castle in Bitchu, but they decide to sally out. That's fine.

A few select quotes from Yoshihisa that I found cool.

Hm, a special garrison unit is part of the Mori, the Onna Bushi. They're the women who are left behind when the men go to battle. Historically, in Japan, women wielded the naginata when their homes were attacked, which made them instant heavy infantry. And the reason they look like this is because of the makeup at the time....

I'm an idiot. I forget to retreat my ranged units, causing them heavy casualties, especially for Rewjeo's monks. This is a mistake I've always been making in all total war games. Always forgetting to press the fucking pause button because I'm a fucking idiot of idiots.

Here I order some yari samurai to intercept those katana cavalry.

The enemy general charges into a group of ashigaru, a fatal mistake. The bomb throwers nuke everyone. To be honest there was too much going on at the time, I forgot why the Katana Pineapple Huggers and the Arrer Boyz tok so many casualties.

I move my general closer to my troops to boost their morale.

After a long time of fighting, the enemy breaks and i give chase.

The enemy samurai archers give me no end of trouble. However, they weren't that scary in close combat.

What cut up a lot of my yari ashigaru were the onna bushi. However, quantity beat them.

Victory...at a price.

The Huggers (both katana and yari) killed the most, since they were fast enough to run down retreating enemies.

The Mori then turn to God to save them. That won't help.

Meanwhile, the Date complete yet another legendary building.

The Mori get destroyed.

Old man ninja Iematsu has passed away D:

Must....boost....military research rate!

The major players are pretty much set. The Realm Divide is coming...

Hooray, now Bow units will still be more accurate.

The Tokugawa attack the Sakai. Of course, i side with the Sakai. Tokugawa only own 2 provinces.

Well, looks like all that farming investing is paying off.

Yeah, the Tokugawa got pwnt. Shoulda just kept to their 2 provinces.

I replaced my yari-using units in Yoshihisa's army with more experienced versions. I also add in a Naginata unit for versatility.

Meh. I don't care about this campaign deadline.

I spy a rebel province called Awaji. Guess where Yoshihisa's heading next?

Whoa, weren't the Sakai holding a few provinces? I guess not.

Hm, a sizeable garrison. This should prove to be a decent fight.

Meanwhile, I noticed my income has gone low. I wonder why.

Stupid Wako pirates raiding my shipping.

I decide to go for a siege assault. I don't feel like waiting.

Bow Ashigaru against my Bow Warrior Monks? No problem, they can't shoot as far.

Rewjeo's Monks have fun shooting at the bow ashigaru.

Their archers run outside, which will give time for them to get shot at.

My own bow ashigaru provide covering fire, as usual.

Arrer Boyz + Bow Monks = racking up kills.

[IGdood]

Since the naginata infantry are so versatile and heavily armored, i send them through the gates first (which were broken, for some reason) and straight at the enemy general.

Meanwhile, I order the huggers and my general to dismount and scale the walls for some retarded reason. It will prove to be bad.

While the naginata draw the brunt of the enemy force, the katana samurai dash in to cut up some archers. With those gone, the other archers can move in to provide covering fire.

The Arrer Boyz and Rewjeo's Monks dispatch those bow ashigaru with utmost efficiency, and I move them up to provide covering fire.

Slice and dice.

These new level 4 yari ashigaru seem to be doing really well.

For some reason my elite archers seem to be walking forward rather than shooting....

I really love this katana hero guy. It's like having a party of Guy, Fir, Rutger, Edward, Mia, Joshua, and Marisa fuck shit up.

Those skulls mean that the enemy will not rout and is prepared to fight to the death.

I don't know why my mind is malfunctioning again. Why the fuck did I order them to climb? I lost quite a few good men from them slipping and falling.. Sorry, eclipse.

Another major source of casualties is in the form of fort towers inside the walls. I didn't realize they could shoot my men. I order some ashigaru to capture them quickly.

All those Huggers....fallen....and one more falling.

Everyone to the gates!

I salute you, rebel scum, for such a an epic last stand.

Units will cheer after defeating an enemy unit, Yggdra Union style.

Heroic victory!

Katana hero and katana samurai kill the most. Figures. Followed by those yari ashigaru, who didn't even die that much. Impressive.

Hm, Date and Chosokabe aren't on friendly terms anymore....

Hooray, now all bow units will fire 10% faster.

Well, I reached the deadline for those mission campaign objectives about conquering Kyoto and 25 provinces by 1580. Whatever, I wasn't playing aggressive anyways.

Fucking Date, why don't you give me a chance to be first? Aside from that legendary sword school.

With Awaji stablized. Yoshihisa spots another rebel province to take for the Shimazu clan. It's also bordering with Kyoto, the province of the Ashikaga Shogunate......

The defenders sally out from the siege.

There are plenty of trees to hide my troops in. I placed the Matchlocks and katana cavalry in the trees.

Wow...these guys are pretty colorless, are they?

I send the yari cavalry into the trees which are located to the flanks of the enemy.

Rewjeo's monks always seem to draw first blood nowadays.

Ha! One of them routs before the melee even begins.

Annnd the matchlocks open fire, even though they were spotted a bit earlier.

All seems to be going well.

I remember to send my troops forward to intercept the enemy before they get too close to my archers.

Unfortunately the Arrer Boyz seem to have been shot at.

Epic yari hugger charge against the enemy general.

The huggers kill the enemy general on the charge. The enemy army breaks and runs for it. My cavalry do the mopping up.

Another victory. Another province.

[IGdood]

Yoshihisa, being badass, gains a level. I put points that make him a better fighter, as usual.

Looks like that last province tipped the balance. I just sparked the Realm Divide. Here we fucking go.

Kyoto's next door, but I don't want to attack it yet. My ninja's on the way and will scout it out.

The next turn I get a few declarations of war. I'll win 'em all, I hope.

Not even the Chosokabe are safe.

Immediately I land Takahisa on a rather undefended Date coastal province.

HOLY FUCK LEVEL 6 ARCHERS WHAT FUCKING MADNESS IS THIS?

Income's going down, now that I'm at war with almost everyone all these trade agreements are broken.

The Five Elements GET. Now the radii of my generals is even bigger.

I opt to take out the smaller Shogunate's army. However, to prevent reinforcements, I have my ninja sabotage the powerful all-samurai army in that citadel. It works, despite the 23% chance.

Pah, these guys will be easy.

Yoshihisa delivers a one-liner.

Seeing that the enemy will have plenty of light cavalry, I put my own cavalry and my yari troops on the flanks.

They're trying to circle around....

But I don't give them that chance. I have my katana huggers intercept them, albeit with heavy casualties. The yari ashigaru run up to provide support, and I pull the cavalry back.

Meanwhile, the yari huggers lance a few archers.

Yari samurai charge my ashigaru, but no worries, I send in a group of no-dachi to cleave them to bits. Even then, my experienced yari ashigaru could hold those samurai off. Power to the peasant, indeed.

These bow samurai are no match for the naginata.

I have the huggers run down the routers. Here's a shot of a katana hugger slashing at an archer's throat.

Take that, Shogunate!

[eclipse]

"This is how I slice a pineapple!"

"HEATHEN! THIS IS HOW TO SLICE A PINEAPPLE!"

"That was my throat."

"Same thing."

[Rewjeo]

You should get more warrior monks. Including some Naginata

How many troops do you have all together? Because looking at Kyoto, you'll just have to use quantity *coughespeciallyofwarriormonksthankstoawesomerangecough* to win.