Let's Play: Shogun 2 Total War

[Parrhesia]

Requesting a claim of the Matchlock Samurai as 'Galrey's Snipelockes'. The extra e makes them that much more powerful.

[IGdood]

Tino's horse. Is white. Fuck. YES~!

Very very very nice song....sounds really Chinese-ish. Actually, that chant/vocal sound was used in the original soundtrack of the first Shogun Total War.

Requesting a claim of the Matchlock Samurai as 'Galrey's Snipelockes'. The extra e makes them that much more powerful.

Yessir, I'll just call them the Snipelockes because I can't remember names for shit. Did I mention that besides Fire By Rank, they also have an ability that shortens reloading time by a lot.

I thought this looked funny.

Killing the Chosokabe, one province at a time.

Hooray, now I can build Temple Complexes, but I lack the money.

Damn Chosokabe ninjas killing my monks, or trying to, at least.

But my monks continue to troll.

Okay, so the Yamana vassal got wiped out, but guess what? Because I'm not Christian, I can't build any imported European cannons. Bullshit.

Ooooh shit, Nobutane got wounded.

More wealth is always good.

My monk spots a ninja and trolls him, causing him to abandon his Chosokabe masters and go for an early retirement. Lolololol.

Here you can see that ninja sitting in front of my monk, probably apologizing for trying to kill him a few months ago.

Conquering Sanuki, I now have superior stone.

My food supply is in the negative. I demolish some buildings that require food to balance things out.

Nobutane is back in action after some good old bedrest.

Whoa, what the. They didn't move in the subsequent turns, so I stopped paying attention to them. Long story short, Nobutane kicked their ass.

Not a useful art, but required to progress down the tree.

Ninjutsu mastery will allow me to build a building that can train the geisha, the most powerful assassins in the game and unlock blind grenades for the kisho ninja.

Yoshihisa blazes a trail across the Chosokabe homeland. It's practically undefended.

Civil focus! I'm done with researching the Bushido arts.

I autoresolve situations like this, but here I want to test out the fire rockets....so I'm doing this personally.

I think Yoshihisa hates the Chosokabe more than I do.

Fire Rockets sure have some big guns.

Snipelockes at the ready.

And the victims.

Moving into position, I manage to get a few members of the Bow Hero's group killed.

WAHAHAHA SUCK ON THESE YOU FUCKING CHOSOKABE DICKSUCKS HAHAHAHAHAHA

Very inaccurate, splash damage isn't too much but there's enough ammo to kill off quite a few enemies.

Oh, and a few monks die from arrows. They got their revenge, no worries.

Organized in order of range, they finish off the remaining soldiers inside the walls.

Experiment over.

Next up, Tosa.

And I go bankrupt, so I play pirate and decide to screw over the Chosokabe trade route.

[IGdood]

Seems like with old age, Yoshihisa's sense of humor goes up. By the way, the garrison at Tosa is sallying out against me.

Standard set up, all my ranged units to the front. Everyone else in back. Weakling enemies, outnumbered and outclassed.

ROCKET BARRAGE INBOUND

Stupid me, I placed the yari ashigaru a bit too far away from the bow hero. He got charged and loses almost half his retinue.

It also didn't help too much that the bomb throwers then bombed everyone.

Elsewhere, they're preparing to run away.

The cavalry circle around, ready to deliver a smashing rear attack.

Through all the arrows and bullets and rockets, the enemy samurai retainers charge straight at the Snipelocke's. Fawk. They take out about 29 Snipelocke's, but then flee.

Tosa is ours!

Got wood?

Yay, bonuses to ninjas.

TIme to research caligraphy.

I forgot where this battle came from, but i think it was back on the mainland. Basically I was attacking some Chosokabe force.

Lovely line.

March forward. Really windy day.

My plan is to attempt to make the Chosokabe attack me by harassing them with rockets and the bowmaster.

Unfortunately for me the Chosokabe run up a hill in the corner of a map. How smart.

They don't fall for the trap, even though I use up all my rockets and snipe out most of their archers.

So, I had no choice but to order a charge uphill. It might get messy. I tell all other ranged units to stay back, in case friendly fire occurs.

Poor yari samurai taking the brunt of everything.

Hmm, some enemy archers are staying in the back..but that's why I have the Pineapple Huggers and Tino's Horsemen.

Did I mention how much i hate horse archers?

Tino intercepts the enemy katana cavalry from hacking up my infantry, and the Huggers go after the bow cavalry.

Surprise, biatches!

But then the ninjas get pwnt by the enemy general. =( Also, Tino and co. got caught up in some yari ashigaru, which ...is..bad...they lose quite a lot of horsemen.

The enemy run for the hills, quite literally, and a massacre occurs.

"Eat yari!"

"No, EAT COLD STEEL."

The Huggers are really good at butchering fleeing enemies.

Victory!

Random. A Chosokabe metsuke attempts to arrest my own. It fails, and I arrest him back. LOL.

Edited March 25, 2011 by skitarii

[eclipse]

"Eat yari!"

"No, EAT COLD STEEL."

Horse: Stupid humans, I'd rather eat grass.

[Parrhesia]

Horse: Stupid humans, I'd rather eat grass.

Arrer Boy: YEWZ BOYZ EAT DUNG! GET 'EM, LADZ!

[Rewjeo]

Hmm, I'll work on a name for the fire rockets. Feel free to contribute ideas guys, I'm not the best at naming things...

[eclipse]

Fire rocket name idea: Cracker Smackers.

(if you're worried about offending people, you can use the less-flowy Firecracker Smackers)

[IGdood]

lololol funny posts

Short update, hopefully firefox doesn't crash on me again. This is the 5th time I've been writing the same captions.

The Chosokabe homelands all belong to me now. They've only a few provinces in the east.

The needs of the Shimazu can never be satiated.

Dang, so the Chosokabe had this? No wonder their ninjas always seem to be successful....It's mine now.

Money money money

Damn, food shortage. No choice but to demolish a merchant's guild somewhere..

I try my hand with good ol' fashioned bribing. There was a pretty interesting unit in that group of rebels. It works.

Hm, Yari Ronin. More attack, defense, and morale than the yari samurai, but only have 120 soldiers as opposed to 160. I incorporate them into Yoshihisa's army.

Shit. SEND IN THE NEXT MONK.

Time to expand eastward. It's time for the Satomi and Date to pay for throwing in their dice with the Ashikaga.

With Nijutsu Mastery, I can now build the Infamous Mizu Shobai District, THE red light district in feudal Japan. All sorts of earthly delights and entertainment can be found here, not necessarily sexual, heheh. Still, the main point of this building is to give me access to the Geisha, an incredibly dangerous assassin. She doesn't need to hide like a ninja, she can just waltz in and kill off someone's royal family.

I decide to put the Oda back in action. They were the first clan to fall at the beginning of this LP.

This...was most untimeful.

Need moar money.

I decide to switch research to Epic Architecture, which will allow me to improve my roads to the final level. This will spur on province growth, which will net me more money in the long run. I could research Sumo Tournament, but I decide not to because it consumes food permanently, which I need to have some on hand in case of a food shortage dilemma. Still, that clan-wide happiness bonus is tempting. That means I need less troops to watch over my troublesome provinces, and with less tops mean less army upkeep --> lower taxes --> n omore negative province growth for my provinces, which will eventually lead to less income because I've taxed the shit out of my people after the Realm Divide.

Yay.

This is the geisha.

One of my Japanese friends wore that sort of makeup before. Oh, and her voice actress sounds really...cute-ish...but when you realize she's an assassin capable of wiping out whole clans.....damn.

With percentages like these, who needs ninja?

Nobutane is now admiral of the fleet, and he'll go east to blow up some ships, if there are any.

Random picture of a Siege Tower Bune. Lol they carry matchlocks.

Bonuses are always welcome.

Succession....wait..this can only mean one thing.

Yoshihisa has....passed away....now I must cry.

His son succeeds him.....why do all the daimyo look alike?

Here's a download link to the Encyclopedia in-game. Here you can read up on all the units and buildings and....well..everything.

Edited March 25, 2011 by skitarii

[Rewjeo]

YOSHIHISA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways, that map is slanted (you can see the compass on the mini map) so every time you say "east" you actually mean "northeast."

[IGdood]

I lack a sense of direction.

[IGdood]

Np update for most of today, it would seem.

I am also depressed I found out that there is no Naginata Monk Hero....grrrr.....

And looks like Shogun 2 has spawned a new meme. SHAMEFUR DISPRAY.

Edited March 27, 2011 by skitarii

[Rewjeo]

Apparently there are a bunch of units that are supposed to exist but don't. Like apparently there were katana ashigaru in the demo and there's supposed to be naginata cavalry monks and naginata monk heroes and stuff.

No update? Now THAT is a shamefur display!

[IGdood]

Yeah...the Katana Ashigaru (also hilariously named Loan Sword Ashigaru) are only in multiplayer. Matchlock Warrior Monks are only in historical battles or something and Naginata Cavalry Monks do exist in some special province's rebels...which I might have to look for.

And the hero seems to have been removed. I don't know, maybe he'll be paid DLC?

[IGdood]

An update to whet your eyes, I believe. =)

Without a general to lead our army of badasses...... I can't really do anything. Having a general in an army allows for replenishment of units outside of a castle in a friendly province. So, I send over Masuyuki, the son of Yoshihiro, to continue leading. I do wonder....how would our army match up with the ones from ETW? Probably will be blown apart....until the melee, where armor and martial skill will dominate.

My ninja continues exploring east. We see the Kiso clan.

I try my best to protect my Oda vassal, but the combined forces of the Kiso and Satomi are bearing down.

My geisha makes it to the Kiso....ready to kill.

Softly walk...

Shank guard #1 with a comb knife.

Slice target with a sharp fan.

And walk away with a little smile.

Damn. He didn't die.

More scouting done by the ninja. Nothing but Satomi as far as the eye can see.

My Oda vassal is under a siege assault. I do hope I can beat them back.

I can't see anything. Can you?

This is pretty bad. None of my forces are on the scene yet.

Nevermind. They start off far away from my allies. Mission impossible, the shogun edition.

Well perhaps if I rush my forces a bit they'll hit the rear of the Kisoarmy and sweep across to the Satomi. But with all this forest in the way slowing down movement....

The kiso send their lone general at me. What?

Since Tino's Horsemen are so reliable, I send them forward at the Kiso general.

With Yari Samurai + Rapid Advance support.

Of course, the Snipelockes, who just so happened to be conveniently nearby, open fire with a volley.

Except their archers have turned around and have decided to avenge their general with 2-4 volleys at the Snipelocke's. Luckily they had upgraded armor so the arrows weren't too bad, merely killing only 30-40. Okay that's pretty bad. As I quote Furetchen, I'll say "I didn't even know what that was!....ugh...godammit."

Great guard just look so great smashing through enemy formations. Also note that the countdown has begun.

I really can't fucking see shit.

Holy shit, they're firing into their own men just to take down Tino. Bastards. Withdraw!

Give covering fire! And don't hit Tino!

It didn't take long for those bow ashigaru to rout.

It's not looking too good for the Oda.

Press onward! Maybe we can still win this...despite the 30 seconds.

Gotta love the Pineapple huggers, despite having to fight off all the assorted fruit and salad huggers of the other clans.

Really not looking good for the Oda.

Damn, we failed in defending our vassal.

Before we were given room to replenish our casualties, the enemy pushed their offensive to us. I had too many units to fit into one full stack, hence the extra little army. Unfortunately that one was being attacked.

Also, those enemy katana samurai have waaaay too many levels for my liking.

Reinforcements are coming, but I can only judge the relative direction of their arrival. I decide to deploy in the back of the map.

Ah, so they're coming from the left. Well, that gives me ample time to get in formation.

Hmm, they're sending their cavalry in first, probably to disrupt me before I can get into formation. I can't let that happen.

Don't you love those rockets? They still explode despite the rainy weather, which will have some effect on the matchlocks as well as the bow units. I can't use fire arrows either.

Time to pull back some archers. Yari ashigaru, hold those assholes off!

It didn't take too long for them to rout.

Here comes the brunt of their force...I've been using the pause button as much as you blink in a minute. I've already pulled back my yari ashigaru behind my archers. The withdrawn archers have been put back in their original position, and the Snipelocke's have finally gotten into position. Previously they were still running up from the corner of the map.

Heh, flankers. My yari ronin are at the edges. Being a small unit isn't that bad. As long as they're properly supported, having a small number could mean better maneuverability through your own lines when timing could mean everything.

Ronin look like the yari samurai....save for their orange pants and blue-tinted armor?

Some of the katana cavalry kill a few in the initial charge, but they are quickly put down.

[IGdood]

Ha, some of their katana samurai are wavering even before they hit my lines. I put all my yari ashigaru into Yari Wall mode. This way they can actually hold off samurai units....including katana samurai. Not for long of course, but that's where Furetchen's Facebeaters (katana samurai) come in, right?

"Oi! Those other katana samurai think they're better than us! Let's chop their heads off and serve it on platters to our lord!" (Samurai got paid historically based on how many heads they've chopped off, I believe.)

Oh woooops I forgot to retreat my bow ashigaru. That's fine, they're not even named units trololol.

Grenades!? From where? I didn't bring the bomb th-oh right, it's the Kisho Ninja's grenades.

With Fire-By-Rank + Rapid Volley + Inspire from the General, the Snipelocke's unload their matchlocks as if they were M1 Garand semiautomatics. It's a beautiful sight.

All melee units have been committed to the front. I've been micromanaging my ranged units to fire into any group of enemies who aren't covered up by our own soldiers.

Wow, our katana samurai seem to be getting their asses kicked. And they've only killed 10 enemies. Wtf happened man?

Trololol rocket troops fire into the melee. Well more like reloading.

Samurai Matchlocks, FIRE!

I thought this screenshot looked pretty epic. Katana samurai wailing on each other, ours backed up by generic yari ashigaru while the enemy general is in the distance.

The cavalry are starting to get overwhelmed in the slugfest. I pull them back and look for better uses for them.

Switching targets for bow ashigaru....

More power of gunpowder.

It's nice to have a clear line of sight like this. And I hate the rain. I'm sure our fellow Snipelockes agree.

Yari ashigaru continue to put down the enemy cavalry who seem to be coming from everywhere.

I send in the Great Guard cavalry, who have that ability called Second Wind that restores the fatigue levels of nearby units. It's quite useful.

The kisho ninja were getting a bit overwhelmed, but the enemy's will was breaking. I know that charging yari samurai head on is suicide for cavalry, but I was betting that they would break morale from the charge and run. My gamble worked.

Here we see one of Tino's shoving his spear into someone's head.

Annnd the Kisho ninja celebrate.

Not bad, not bad.

Snipelocke's and Arrer Boyz got plenty of kills.

Masuyuki levels up!

Hey where'd my geisha go....? Wait...there's an enemy Metsuke.... did she get arrested?

Yup.

Time to siege Mino, with a large backup army in case enemy reinforcements arrive. I switch places afterwards for ease of deployment later.

Nice, now I can upgrade my roads.

I feel that I can use another general. I pay up 1000 to enlist one.

I switch research to Sword Hunt, which is useful for the happiness bonus. Well not happiness, more like repression.

Imperial Roads.

Yukikata. This name seems easier to remember.

[IGdood]

Should I use this mod?

http://www.twcenter....ad.php?t=429938

It will unlock the Naginata Monk Cavalry, Monk Matchlocks, Katana Wako (pirates), Bow Wako, Katana Ronin, and Yari Ronin for regular recruitment in the campaign.

It's made by the same person who did the mod I used in my ETW LP, which gave Cocytus his marines and Furetchen his Swiss Guard.

Edited March 28, 2011 by skitarii

[eclipse]

Up to you. I'm having a blast reading this. If you manage to win, I'll give you the origins of the Pineapple Huggers.

[Rewjeo]

Use it. Then I have more Warrior Monks! If you get it, I relinquish claim on the fire rockets. I only offer my cult to your conquest of Japan.

[IGdood]

Up to you. I'm having a blast reading this. If you manage to win, I'll give you the origins of the Pineapple Huggers.

Sweet. +Motivation.

Use it. Then I have more Warrior Monks! If you get it, I relinquish claim on the fire rockets. I only offer my cult to your conquest of Japan.

Alright, let's see what I can do.

So, the garrison at Mino decides to sally out.

Deployment seems like a bore, except I just realized....

We were positioned on a cliff. That means the enemy can't directly charge into my archers. They have to go around. Score for ranged units! I divide the melee units into a balanced mixed force on the flanks.

That's quite a few Bow Ashigaru you got there, Kiso clan.

Nice view, eh?

The fire rockets are firing......and some of them manage to run straight through some of my archers and explode below. Another one explodes on the tree in front of the archers. I facepalm, but then gather my wits together and move the rocketeers up.

They still manage to shoot the tree, but oh well.

Incoming katana cavalry! With my experienced (somewhat) yari troops on the sides, they will never get past!

The enemy archers duel with our own. They seem to enjoy targeting the Arrer Boyz and Rewjeo's Bow Monks.

On my right flank, I charge the melee troops downhill at the archers. Tino's Horsemen lead the charge, as usual.

Naginata troops aren't as great agaiinst cavalry as yari troops, but they can still hold their own.

Meanwhile, the Kisho ninja pop out of hiding and throw their smoke bombs/flash grenades, which decrease enemy attack speed, movement speed, defense, and morale. They then proceed to charge in and cut up those confused katana samurai.

Arrer Boy: For every one of us who falls, ten arrows will avenge his place!

Things are pretty much the same on the left flank, save with some enemy archers shooting at my infantry. No kisho ninja to debilitate the enemy, but I suppose brute force will suffice there.

Of course, I move Masu-Iforgothowtospell over to encourage the troops there.

The bomb throwers pop out of hiding, and proceed to throw nades and other delicious combustibles at the charging samurai. It hurts their morale. A lot.

For some reason, the Snipelocke's haven't let off a single shot so far, despite enemies in range. Could've been a glitch in the game? Either way, they were shot up and charged by the enemy general. Luckily they have upgraded armor from the fine smiths of Satsuma, and manage to last.

The enemies on the left flank rout. The continued bombings by the Bomb throwers have proven to be too much for them to bear.

Pineapple Hugger: I'm bored of cutting people, I wish I can get back to slicing pineapples.

As the enemies crumble on my left, I decide to mount a rear attack on the enemies on my right flank.

Of course I make sure all enemies on the left flank are clearly running away before I attempt a rear attack.

Tino and his men charge on, despite having 320 arrows shot at them.

Meanwhile, the Snipelocke's are holding off the enemy general despite having inadequate training in melee.

An Arrer Boy is inspired by the Snipelockes and happily abandons his bow to charge into the melee.

The Bomb Throwers rush forward to the left flank, below the cliff.

Snipelocke casualties going up....

Bombs away! Followed up with Pineapple Huggers charging through the smoke. It's reminiscent of the foggy scene from the Last Samurai, sans Tom Cruise.

I'd shit my pants too if I'm surrounded by smoke and enemy cavalry.

Fire rockets firing their Hoistflammes at the fleeing enemy.

Rocketeer: Fucking tree.

A smoking battlefield.

Victory! Didn't even need reinforcements either!

Funny, I'd expect my ranged units to kill more, but this was not the case....

Here's a short summary of what happened in youtube form. It was more of me clicking the units to get their voices. I'd recommend you watching it in HD, as at least you can see the subtitles and other things this way.

Edited March 29, 2011 by skitarii

[Rewjeo]

Okay, WTF has happened to my monks? Before they were amazing and now they sorta suck. I mean, the hardly killed more than they lost!

[IGdood]

I think either they were firing into the melee and were trying not to hit their fellow soldiers, so their aiming was a bit off. Or they were being shot at by enemy archers and had their attack strength reduced. I wasn't paying too much attention, heck, even the bow hero didn't get many kills. Another possibility is that the enemy had upgraded armor.

[IGdood]

Any comments on voiceacting? I thought the Great Guard and Kisho Ninja sounded different from everyone else.

[eclipse]

Ears are a little screwed up. Maybe later.

[IGdood]

Fucked up the computer registry and had to reinstall Windows 7, currently reinstalling all my games, luckily saved all my music and game saves, Shogun 2 LP should be continuing soon.

Perhaps my ETW LP will stop crashing too? OHOHOHO!

[Rewjeo]

That's good to know. Sucks, but at least I know why I wasn't getting enough Shogun 2..