Gods... I hate myrmidons

[Parrhesia]

It occurred to me that I hate myrmidons.*

*Tellian myrms are exempt by default, bar FE9 Mia, as are Swordfighters. Joshua is exempt. Athena is exempt, but I often reclass her.

1) They aren't Mercenaries.

If you're going to be a footsword, which is a bad position from the start, either steal shit or be cool. Myrmidons cannot accomplish one and aren't the other.

2) They use swords.

If you're going to use swords, you need to be really good with them. Most myrmidons are not.

3) Most myrmwenches are unattractive

I'm sorry, Japan, but I'm looking for a waist in the mid-high/high twenties. I do not want a figure only achievable by fatally strangling corsetry. This gives the impression that they are fragile and easily breakable.

No, adding more breasts will not make things better.

4)

5) They are fragile and have no offence.

Guy compounds this by not being able to use a Steel Sword without losing speed, which is probably my favourite weapon in the entire GBA set (drawn with Iron Axen and Handaxen).

6) Most playable myrmidons rely on being trained...

...by a 20-use sword reliant in turn on sub-40 crit chances and one I wish to give to someone else LIKE THE SWORD LORD WHO IS ALREADY BEING TERRIBLE JUST ON HIS OR HER BLOODY OWN.

7) They force me to compromise between speed and strength

where a decent axeman will allow me to take BOTH. Or, say, a cavalier. A unit with DEFENCE, MULTIPLE WEAPONS and a HORSE.

8) They are similar to magi

Who are not physical units or prepromotes and are thus FUCKING PUSSIES. (Some magi, however, are excusable. Of the true myrmidons, there is only Joshua. Not even many Swordmasters are cool.)

9) Everybody fanpersons over them

and I'm contrarian like that.

10) They tend to have no personality

FE9 Mia is exempt, but the personality she does have I really am not a fanatic for. The rest... well.

Navarre -- blank

Radd -- nobody knows, but initially promising (apparently gives up fighting for Caesar's sister, from what I heard)

Athena -- I DID say 'tend'

Fir -- blank

Rutger -- awesome name, but blank

Guy -- blank

Karel -- blank

Karel -- blank

Karla -- blank

Marisa -- so blank it's almost, but not quite a personality. So blank

So; they can't fight, be interesting or overall warrant a place in my army. Any classes you guys hate? Do give reasons.

[Thor Odinson]

I don't hate any one class, really. I hate training most of the GBA fighters 'cuz they suck, a lot, but Geitz is pretty great and he's a Warrior. Out of characters, though, I dislike most clerics and some other types of healbots for either being annoying little girls or utter doormats. Or just don't really care about their characters at all, but hell, they're useful as fuck so I use them. Would take a team of Niime's any day, though.

But generally, I prefer male magic users. Generally. Lugh is the one exception I can think of because Lugh never gets mag in his 7-join IDR when again use in any of my given play throughs and I'd rather chuck Lilina a wing than be stuck with that irritating 4 in magic and him treating that 40 (45?) like it's 0. PEMN in debates but PEMEverything when I'm playing. And Hugh just joins too late. If he didn't cost money I'd use him. But, as it stands, recruiting a shittier Hugh means I get another pair of boots, which goes towards Miledy being god of everything ever in FE6 (exceptlike, killing Gel but Rutger has that handled)

Oh yeah, I don't like Pegasi much. They're useful, but I'd much rather use a dragon or a wyvern. Unless it's FE7. Farina~

Edited September 21, 2011 by Luminescent Kitty

[CrashGordon94]

First, off I must say that you've got a lot of cojones to say this when your girlfriend loves Myrms.

Secondly, I find that most Myrms are decent enough but I do prefer Mercs generally.

Thirdly, for the "Classes you hate" thing, I have Troubadours/Valkyries.

Mostly it started back when I used to hate Mist, having played FE9 first that really colored my view of the class.

Also, some of my most hated FE women (like Priscilla and Ethlin) belong to this class.

Lastly, they often get seriously overblown because of the movement thing, it's obviously helpful but that's no reason to cream your pants over it! >_>

[Thor Odinson]

My favourite myrms happen to be swordfighters, actually, whom he doesn't hate. Lakche/Ayra/Shanan/Mareeta are all of the SNES era, and Machua and Malice I'd rather classify as mercenaries (fuck you FE12, wry no Hero Malice). I can even agree to them sucking in at least half of the FEs. Hell, my main reason of liking most of the myrmdudes is because of my soft spot for long-haired men dating back to my wuxia drama days. It's all the looks with guys, man. If I use a dude who's not hot, well, he's gotta have stats to make up for it.

Yeah I'm shallow when it comes to male characters. I care more about personality in the chicks, really. I should really drop this double standard but...gorgeous men! Cannot resist~

Edited September 21, 2011 by Luminescent Kitty

[whase]

myrms are one of my favorite classes (together with mages, thieves and archers)

I'm not going to say anything about stats, I've never studied them,

but saying most myrms have no personality is just not right.

Most myrms do have somewhat similar personalities though,

but being silent doesn't mean you don't have personality.

(I'm very silent IRL, doesn't mean I don't have a personality)

and please note, barely any FE11 or 12 character has personality.

EDIT: oh, and about classes I hate; I don't hate any, hate is to big of a word.

though I do dislike mounted units and Laguz (to use them, as characters in the game they are just fine)

Edited September 21, 2011 by whase

[Rothene]

I hate paladins and cavaliers...only because they're so good at covering most bases that they make other classes look bad.

[Emeraldfox]

10) They tend to have no personality

FE9 Mia is exempt, but the personality she does have I really am not a fanatic for. The rest... well.

Navarre -- blank

Radd -- nobody knows, but initially promising (apparently gives up fighting for Caesar's sister, from what I heard)

Athena -- I DID say 'tend'

Fir -- blank

Rutger -- awesome name, but blank

Guy -- blank

Karel -- blank

Karel -- blank

Karla -- blank

Marisa -- so blank it's almost, but not quite a personality. So blank

You know what they say, use your imagination and you'll have more fun. Unless, you think it's beyond you. Oh, sorry, I meant 'beneath'.

There isn't a class I hate, since I end up using most of them.

[eclipse]

Radd's amusing. Always.

My least favorite class is Fighter. Slow, inaccurate, and doesn't walk on water like Pirates (my first FE was 7, bite me).

[Parrhesia]

and please note, barely any FE11 or 12 character has personality.

Actually, every character in Archanea has those three supports, and sometimes (like the Sables or the 7th Platoon) more. They have personality, we just, for the most part, have no idea what they are.

You know what they say, use your imagination and you'll have more fun. Unless, you think it's beyond you. Oh, sorry, I meant 'beneath'.

Yes, because I've been a writer this long with no shred of imagination.

Of course.

You're an idiot.

[Aethereal]

Archers

I'm sure it hasn't totally been harped on to death, and I'm revealing some new and exciting information, but bows (Post SNES) are about useful as puppies are evil.

Besides that, their personalities usually suck. A lot. Wil's personality is "I'm Wil!", Rebecca's personality is "I miss Dan and Wil." Wolt's is "Roy's my friend." Neimi's is "WHAA". None of the GBA archers provide anything remotely interesting despite all having INCREDIBLE amounts of time to be developed, or participate, or generally not be really dull. The GBA Snipers are somewhat better. Maybe I should delve into it some more, but I honestly don't remember anything about Igrene, except thinking it would suck to grow up in a desert with no friends. The her and Astol thing was at least interesting, if nothing else. I don't enjoy Innes at all as a character. I like Klein mainly just because I like Pent, and while his personality wasn't great, I'm glad he provided good backstory with Dieck. Louise made me laugh a few times though, which is cool.

As far as Tellius goes, Rolf is a child, so I can't hold it too much against him that his personality sucks, but it does. And Shinon's a "racist". And a douche. Soooo, yeah.

Edit: Realized something, I said all bows are useless, but they aren't completely. All the snipers at least have some use besides "Chip random bandit in early chapter for 5 damage."

Edited September 21, 2011 by Aethereal

[Byte2222]

Hate is a strong word but I don't like Myrmidons much either, mainly because they're unreliable: they've got poor defence for a class that has to get up-close-and-personal and their offence relies too much on chance (criticals and skills). I can just about excuse the FE4 Swordfighters for their excellent skills and superior stats and the Tellius ones (maybe) for having to adapt to take up the slack of there being only one mercenary (Ike).

I can't say I like Archers much either. Without repeating arguments I'm sure you've heard many times I'd say that I dislike how much they lack versatility. Also how rubbish the stats are on bows. Ironic really, because I'm an archer IRL.

[Shin]

Armour Knights generally annoy me. Especially in the GBA titles where they have the movement of a brick, and often a personality to match. Doga, Bors and Oswin are particularly guilty, but at least Oswin's usable. There are also other stinky units like Barth, Wendy, Tomth and Dolph.

I suppose they're more effective as enemies, pretty much roadblocks.

[Thor Odinson]

Doop. Forgot about armour knights. Exception are FE10Gatrie and Oswin, the rest just...urgh. Terrible offense along with terrible movement, in my playstyle (Paladin-heavy), means that they're pretty much useless and only serves to hinder my team. I liked Great Knights in FE8. Acceptable movement with the good defenses are nice. The tankiness means nothing if they can't ever reach the enemies.

[CrashGordon94]

My favourite myrms happen to be swordfighters, actually, whom he doesn't hate. Lakche/Ayra/Shanan/Mareeta are all of the SNES era, and Machua and Malice I'd rather classify as mercenaries (fuck you FE12, wry no Hero Malice). I can even agree to them sucking in at least half of the FEs. Hell, my main reason of liking most of the myrmdudes is because of my soft spot for long-haired men dating back to my wuxia drama days. It's all the looks with guys, man. If I use a dude who's not hot, well, he's gotta have stats to make up for it.

Right, I stand corrected then.

You know what they say, use your imagination and you'll have more fun. Unless, you think it's beyond you. Oh, sorry, I meant 'beneath'.

Emerald, that doesn't make characters with bland personalities any less bland.

What you add to the table is irrelevant, the only thing that matters is what's there in the actual media.

Armour Knights generally annoy me. Especially in the GBA titles where they have the movement of a brick, and often a personality to match. Doga, Bors and Oswin are particularly guilty, but at least Oswin's usable. There are also other stinky units like Barth, Wendy, Tomth and Dolph.

"Tomth" and "Dolph" are different names for the same guy, I think what you meant to say Dolph and Macellan.

[Shin]

"Tomth" and "Dolph" are different names for the same guy, I think what you meant to say Dolph and Macellan.

You got me there ^^. Finally playing Shadow Dragon's really confused me, What happened to the great FE3 names likes Zagaro?

On the topic of armour knights, Arden has to be my favourite. Sure he's awful compared to the rest of the cast, but I've found he's a likeable guy.

[Integrity]

BELIEVE IT OR NOT INTEGRITY DOESN'T LIKE SOMETHING.

Yeah. Paladins.

I'm just tired of Paladins. And it's not all cavalry - I'll go for a good Ranger (fuck nomad troopers and silver knights and bow knights and midir rangers are way cooler) or anything with Staves and Canto (yes, fe4 fempaladins are exempt from my paladin disdain) any day. Actually, Staves and Canto gives me a boner anywhere it shows up.

They've got fine personalities, most of them. I don't mind using them when I have to. It's just ...I dunno. Too much of them everywhere being useful compared to everybody else.

EDIT: Except FE6's Paladins and Isadora. For some reason (seriously, no idea except in Isadora's case) I harbor no malice towards them.

EDIT2: Actually, most of my hatred is directed at Navarre archetypes, but they're not a class per se.

Edited September 21, 2011 by Integrity

[13th]

Shadow dislikes a class. I dislike Pirates/Berserkers. (Sans Dart. He's cool.)

Its just that... Let's start off with a decent reason.

Fighters are just better. There is always a Fighter/Warrior better than the pirate/Berserker. Except in Dart's case. Hawkeye? I'll take Geitz. Dozla? Garcia. Darros? Barst, Bord, and Cord are infinitely better, and they join in the same chapter.

That and I dislike axe-locked units.

[Anouleth]

It's not really true that myrmidons have no offense. Rutger's offense is great and it makes him one of the best canditates to take on the silly FE6 bosses. Fir's offense isn't so amazing, but for a level 1 unit that joins in chapter 9, you can't really expect that much from her. Even so, she's not what I'd call bad. Joshua has very respectable offense. 8 strength isn't the best, but it's still very competitive. I haven't really used Guy, but I think his strength issues are probably exaggerated. Obviously, they really hamper him in strict play, but in casual play he can abuse his supports.

In addition, I always find that Mercenaries are far more hyped than Myrmidons.

7) They force me to compromise between speed and strength

where a decent axeman will allow me to take BOTH.

A decent swordsman will allow you to take both. Many Fighters are horrifically slow just as many Myrmidons lack in strength. Plus there's the accuracy issues that Fighters run into.

Or, say, a cavalier. A unit with DEFENCE, MULTIPLE WEAPONS and a HORSE.

Did it take you this long to realise that Cavaliers are simply the best unpromoted GBA class?

8) They are similar to magi

Who are not physical units or prepromotes and are thus FUCKING PUSSIES.

This is actually kind of hilarious. I mean, it's one thing to call other people "fucking pussies" for not conforming to your arbitrary standards of manhood, but fictional computer game characters?

Finally, I know that discovering the caps lock key is fun and exciting, but you don't always have to use it.

Edited September 21, 2011 by Anouleth

[Swordsalmon]

Guy, Rutger, and Fir have pretty good offense.

I don't like Knights/Generals, if only because of their low Movement.

[Shadow Mir]

I just hate Great Knights, though mainly for aesthetic reasons. I'm also not fond of Pirates/Berserkers (I can make an exception for Largo), Fighters/Warriors (Nolan and Barst are exempt, however), and most Laguz (mainly as far as RD is concerned). As for why:

Pirates/Berserkers: I can't really say I'm fond of axe-locked units. Being inaccurate doesn't help their case.

Fighters/Warriors: Most of them are horrifically sloooooow. The accuracy problems Pirates have also hurt them.

Laguz: Strike takes an eternity to level up... Cats in particular also have gauge as a strike against them, as well as sucking both on offense and defense.

Also forgot Knights/Generals aside from Oswin, RD Gatrie, and Doga to an extent.

Edited September 21, 2011 by Metal King Slime

[Ether]

Even if some of them aren't so great, I've always had a soft spot for Myrms. I guess it likely started on my first PT of FE9(also my first FE) where Mia hit promotion with 20 Str/Def and ~40 HP, no boosters used. Zihark also ended well, though less spectacular, and Stefan was FE9 Stefan. After that I always used Myrmidons, and they became a staple.

As for disliked classes, Armour Knights in general. the exception being Gatrie. As well, Archers before promotion are rather aggravating as well, though Snipers are cool bros.

[Thor Odinson]

Funny, Guy is that one myrm I really have trouble using, and it's not because he's a total shota and not one bit bishie or manly man. Rutger is god of killing shit in FE6 though. Unless you go at dondon speed and even then he's the best bosskiller for about half the game.

Granted, most of Rutger and Fir's offense stems from their ridiculous and actually relatively reliable critrates after promotion with Killing Edge, going up to something like 70 quite easily.

But yeah. Fuck Guy. Just...urgh. FE7 has the worst myrms/sms IMO.

Edited September 21, 2011 by Luminescent Kitty

[Shadow Mir]

Funny, Guy is that one myrm I really have trouble using, and it's not because he's a total shota and not one bit bishie or manly man. Rutger is god of killing shit in FE6 though. Unless you go at dondon speed and even then he's the best bosskiller for about half the game.

Granted, most of Rutger and Fir's offense stems from their ridiculous and actually relatively reliable critrates after promotion with Killing Edge, going up to something like 70 quite easily.

But yeah. Fuck Guy. Just...urgh. FE7 has the worst myrms/sms IMO.

I agree with you there, Lumi. I never really had much trouble with myrms aside from him.

[Ether]

Funny, Guy is that one myrm I really have trouble using, and it's not because he's a total shota and not one bit bishie or manly man. Rutger is god of killing shit in FE6 though. Unless you go at dondon speed and even then he's the best bosskiller for about half the game.

Granted, most of Rutger and Fir's offense stems from their ridiculous and actually relatively reliable critrates after promotion with Killing Edge, going up to something like 70 quite easily.

But yeah. Fuck Guy. Just...urgh. FE7 has the worst myrms/sms IMO.

Yeah, I agree with this, easily. I remember getting Karel the first time, and getting Harken my second time, and I literally facedesked. There was no reason to make Karel so... terrible in comparison. Guy was unreliable, and sitting next to Raven for the first crest that would have gave him early-midgame relevance? Yeah no. And then Karla... oh god Karla.

[Anouleth]

Funny, Guy is that one myrm I really have trouble using, and it's not because he's a total shota and not one bit bishie or manly man. Rutger is god of killing shit in FE6 though. Unless you go at dondon speed and even then he's the best bosskiller for about half the game.

Granted, most of Rutger and Fir's offense stems from their ridiculous and actually relatively reliable critrates after promotion with Killing Edge, going up to something like 70 quite easily.

But yeah. Fuck Guy. Just...urgh. FE7 has the worst myrms/sms IMO.

I think FE9 has worse myrmidons. Just think, in the japanese version they didn't even get a critical boost!