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no means no


Psych
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You're missing the thought behind my post in reaction to kdanger. She was staying superficial, so I decided to stay superficial as well. In all of it's actuality I don't see myself feeling anything but crippling guilt after forcing sex with a girl and I'd probably be too ashamed to look her in the eye. I suppose I won't ever have as much control over my sexual urges as women do, but that doesn't mean I'm completely without defense mechanisms either.

Honestly I don't know what staying superficial means in this context.

Also to be honest I wasn't quite sure what I meant to say with my first post other than "no means no" is really a grey, highly confusing area you will want to spend time thinking and/or arguing about to try and figure out where you stand in it.

I honestly don't know how grey it is, but it seems like interpreting no as no isn't very risky when it comes to sex. I mean, what, the terrible dangers of not having sex when a girl says "no."

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And all we learned from this discussion, is that no maybe means maybe but that's a shaky maybe so maybe you should go with no.

Hooray for discussing "rape ethics" in FftF. \o/

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Honestly I don't know what staying superficial means in this context.

I honestly don't know how grey it is, but it seems like interpreting no as no isn't very risky when it comes to sex. I mean, what, the terrible dangers of not having sex when a girl says "no."

In this case it means using the social arguments(don't do it because bad shit will happen to you) instead of the personal arguments(don't do it because you won't be able to handle the guilt). Now that I think about it, I have heard about stuff like this happening here and there. Pretty sure there's guys who are so dom they don't see a problem with it in terms of morality and so need the social arguments to stop them from doing it.

It seems to me that most/all fetishes can be reduced to power and defying what is socially acceptable. I don't think I'm formulating it as correctly as I will be if I'd take some more months to think about it, but oh well. Per example exhibitionism doesn't have to fall under power play, but always falls under defying social standards(sex in public is not considered socially acceptable).

So where I wanna go with the previous paragraph is that rape fantasy can find it's base in power distribution and the social acceptability. Which can in turn mean the risk can add to the feeling of excitement.

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Actually what you should have gotten from this is that no always means no. And not to trust Giggolo Albert.

I was just pointing how this thread was kinda moving in circles despite people trying to put it as a subjective matter. I do believe in the first statement you said.

And shall remember the second from now on. @_@

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a majority of women are sub, and of them apparently a significant minority is very much turned on when they say no and you do yes. (within limits certain limits of course). Not that I'd personally do that with a girl I wasn't in a steady relationship with, though.

I'm trying to make a coherent reply to this and failing. Currently I'm settling for trying to set you on fire with my mind.

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I mean, what, the terrible dangers of not having sex when a girl says "no."

You know how if you block the end of a running hose the water pressure builds up and it eventually explodes?

It's a pretty frightening proposition.

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No. You don't fucking do it. Unless you've actually agreed on some alternate form of consent you don't fucking take that risk. "Apparently" my ass. Consent is important. You sit down and shut up and take no for an answer.

You don't take any goddamn chances that maybe that no really was a yes if you don't know it for a fact.

Bullshit like "no means yes" HURTS PEOPLE.

Not sorry that I'm angry. At all.

As much as it might surprise some, I'm gonna have to agree with Kiryn here. No really does mean no.

And while I don't doubt some women have rape fantasies, that actually doesn't mean a great deal because just about everything is a fetish but that doesn't mean you should do it to your lover without asking first. I mean, I've seen lots of dudes on the net who fantasise about forced crossdressing but what do you think would happen if you just forced your boyfriend into drag, huh?

On a sidenote, this gave me a (very) darkly humorous mental image:

read this as "rape etiquette"

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In france we say non, in spain we say no,

In the us we say I am a blackbelt, pls go

What can I say? I'm so puny they wouldn't believe I'd be any problem ;~;

Not even I would!!

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Hey, I'm not that much taller than you and I scare the shit out of people

You gotta give off that aura of "make one wrong move and I'll break all your limbs in under 5 seconds"

Edited by Zhuge Liang
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I can't actually break people's limbs that fast

I just make it look like I can and people stay the fuck away

it's just how you carry yourself

that reminds me I still need to buy pepper spray

Yeah and I'm saying I can't carry myself that way at all x3

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