Shin Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 It's good to see a fellow disciple of the Yaranaika. Your support to the cause is greatly appreciated. U-ho! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeaderR Elliot Posted September 15, 2013 Share Posted September 15, 2013 Sorry for the wait here is chapter 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PKL Posted September 15, 2013 Author Share Posted September 15, 2013 Finally Wrys promotes. And wow, Doga is almost untrainably bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terrador Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 (edited) [spoiler=GET WRECKED SABLE ORDER]Alright, time to get this done. But first, let me introduce y'all to THE MAN. This is THE MAN, and he will be running this shit. Ready? Let's roll. Castor's job: Kill everything. Everyone else's job? Sit back and watch the MADNESS. Just a taste of what's to come, really. Scrubs who've PICKED A GOD AND PRAYED: 1. At the end of the first Enemy Phase with any real exposure, I realize: this guy's gonna be a tremendous dick, isn't he. This map's capacity to threaten Castor is quickly approaching nil. His growths, for those curious [i'll do averages and such later] are: 60 HP35 STR 0 MAG 45 SKL 15 SPE 20 LCK 45 DEF 0 RES I'm getting the impression that I'll be able to wipe these chumps before proceeding on to the next few. How delightful~ ...of course, by "wipe these chumps" I mean "stall that motherhubbard out of Fortify charges". Same deal, really. And another chump down, thanks to Castor's newfound Str proc. New petitioners to the LG afterlife, bless their misguided souls: 2. And Player Phase makes three corpses in total. After an uneventful Enemy Phase, we're met with... Okay. Firstly: skank has a Ridersbane. She's clearly not received the reports that Castor is running this show. Or maybe she has, and didn't know he transformed into a wall of THWOMP and sex. Or maybe she's here to fight the Grutians! Who the hell knows. But, secondly... She is carrying Mercurius. However this happened, somebody fucked up. Somebody fucked up bad. Seriously, guys--either she stole it [wat] or was entrusted with it [wat]. Those are both pretty fucking absolutely retarded. What the hell, game. Can't you deliver this any other way? rasdfasdfasdfasdfasdf I know how this ends, and I am not pleased. Alright, game, don't fail me now. Four fools who've faced CASTOR'S LANCE and not lived to tell the tale. Castor, you sexy beast. Never stop being magnificent. Oh, reinforcements, you make me laugh. As if you could stand against the invincible CASTOR! Castor, the newest and most ILLUSTRIOUS Altean General, claims his fifth victim. The last one falls. Geddit? Geddit? ...nah. Just the sixth of many. Many. I'm gonna need more spears... Hey, Marth, let's go get that sword! Seven down! Notice how he still has 36 HP--that isn't because of the fort. Literally none of the reinforcements could scratch him. Admittedly, that is only because some of them have 21 Atk to his 20 Def and the fort ate the rest, but... still. Damn. In most games, I'd call this a bad level, but I'm just going to give it a quiet thumbs-up and move on. Our eighth--and a paladin, no less! Castor's sure moving up in the world~ Kill #9, felled by a crit! Poor thing didn't even tink THE MAN. Not like this chump matters. No. The only MAN on this battlefield is GENERAL CASTOR! Namely because I didn't field Biraku. Yes, I'm technically not supposed to fail to field safe units. Well, I got away with it last time, and I'll do it again. In the words of scorri, RAWR. ...at a certain level of defense, you cease caring about all the peons rushing you. At this point, where Castor is tinked by everything? Yeah, we're there. ...was H2 meant to be so damn easy? Ohh, Castor, your levels never fail to amuse. And you've already almost filled your Speed quota! Castor's tenth victim lies here, done in by the mighty THRUSTING PENETRATION. And yes, I can say that. Biraku's manliest lances are gone, and Castor's carrying a Ridersbane. He'll be okay. Aren't they all so precious? It's like they think they can do something to Castor. Eleven down! Castor's lances are starting to run low, though... And twelve, come EP. Every stroke's gotta count before I start using up more-valuable weapons, which I loaded onto him under the misguided assumption that he might have need of them. Oh, how wrong I was. For every one he kills, more just keep coming! Some may have to come to his rescue before he... oh, perish the thought... has to start using up stronger lances! Speaking of kills, #12 goes down like a child's block tower! Not a bad level, either. Unlucky 13 decides to fodder himself. Y'know, I wonder if Camus would realize "hey, he can't chase all of us, and an unarmedmy of scrubs is over there! CHARGE PAST CHARGE PAST! Or, y'know, wipe Castor from the face of the Earth himself. This is what you get for not fielding your best against plucky heroes, Grust. You should know this by now. Castor snags another level! I think he's missed all of... one Str proc so far? Pretty manly. Unfortunately, the Steel Lance went with. RIP. And a Javelin crit brings Number 14 to his pansy knees. Can't damage with a Silver, seriously? What are you doing in the army?! "Sir, he's killed fifteen of our men now! What do we do?!" "We send more of the same troops after him! Break his lance on your spleen!!" "..." And that's the story of why the reinforcements stopped coming. All your efforts only make him stronger!! Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen! Nineteen dead Grutians! Ah, ah, ah! Hey, not a bad level, either! ...totally worth it. Pity that he's gonna start eating Ridersbane charges now... unless some brave, selfless knight sacrifices himself to bring a Javelin. "You broke my lance! I bought this with Mother's medicine money!!" ...by "you", he means collectively. Because these chumps have no identities of their own, you see. Like this guy--he's just #20. Abel shall do the honors. Poor bastard... he'll never know what hit 'im. You poor, noble fool... should've left the fighting to the real knights. Like that chump with a bow and a sick mother. Or that other chump with an axe and no stats. Or that other chump who's basically you, but shittier. Those guys are manly. At least his death allowed the foes to at least try attacking Castor once more! The results are as follows. Twenty-one, twenty-two, and... something actually resembling a nuisance. He only had one more shot with that there Silver Bow anyway. No, I'm genuinely not shitting you. Number twenty-three, vanquished. I'd say this level is bad, but honestly, Castor's strong and bulky enough to be a force to be reckoned with endgame anyway. MASTER TACTICIAN, I AM! After two failed attempts, this scumbucket finally gets dropped. Freakin' finally. Aww, look, he thinks he's a credible threat! The more cannon fodder, the merrier! Speaking of cannon fodder: 25. And, after another couple of attempts (including Armorslayer Guy, who actually landed a decent hit!), Castor wrecks #26. U-ho, a crit! Number 27 goes down. How's Castor's level, though? Fuck this guy's family--parents, wife, siblings, kids--nah, fuck that noise--did someone from my army get stats?! That level is pretty sexy. I'll take it. Armorslayer Douche: also known as Cannon Fodder #28. The three remaining "powerful" enemies have gone the way of the dodo, bringing the CKC [Castor kill count!] to 31. CASTOR HAS NO NEED FOR STRATEGY CASTOR CAN TAKE AN ARROW TO THE DICK AND WALK AWAY SMILING THIS CHUMP CANNOT. Given Castor's defensive prowess, I honestly consider this a blank level against physical units. Fuck. Tactics. That shit ain't necessary with 23 Def. You know, this could've all been avoided if Grust had just paid Caeda off to give him medicine for his mother. But how could they have expected this? And how, pray tell, would Castor have grown into THIS beast?! ...the lack of Def is actually mildly surprising. You'd think he'd have a lot less Str and a lot more Def at this point. Ah, I'll crunch the averages at the end. That's soon, hint hint. Also, kill count 36. Two more scrubs down before I make it to my real enemy. Die, Satan spawn!! ...who're you? I already took down the boss. ...okay, that kind of stung. For that, I will show you my full strength. Can I have some money now? Castor Kill Count: 40. Well, I guess we have to bring that useless chump Marth in. At the end of the day, Castor sold the Master Seal for medicine money, and the castle was taken. But in between... this just kinda happened. [spoiler=Y'all wrecked our Funds and brought this upon yourselves] (The third one is Hardin; I didn't catch it in time.) Now, the final results of our little contest! [spoiler=The results]Before and After: Growths: 60 35 0 45 15 20 45 0 Level gain: 12.42 Weapon rank gain: Lance D => A as General [160-165 WEXP] and a teeny-tiny bit of Bow EXP. STR: 13 => 22. Projected value: 17.2. +4.8 [114.3% of growth expectation] blessing!! MAG: Looool. SKL: 8 => 11. Projected value: 13.4. -2.4 [44.5% of growth expectation] screw... SPE: 7 => 11. Projected value: 8.8. +2.2 [81.8% of growth expectation] blessing!! LCK: 5 => 9. Projected value: 7.4. +2.6 [66.7% of growth expectation] blessing! DEF: 18 => 23. Projected value: 23.4. -0.4 [7.4% of growth expectation] deviation: negligible. RES: Also lol. Finally, gold: from 71 G to... Can we... please be responsible with the money this time? Just a little bit? I think I did good today. Edited September 21, 2013 by Terrador Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Refa Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 (edited) Calling it right now, this is Breezy's favorite update. I OTOH am not sure if it holds up to YARANAIKA, but it admittedly probably took more effort to write. Also got the Gold back up, good job! Although Shin will probably forge the "amazing" Iron Sword called "Thruster 2.0" with +100% hit or something; I called it Shin! Edited September 21, 2013 by Refa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terrador Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Calling it right now, this is Breezy's favorite update. I OTOH am not sure if it holds up to YARANAIKA, but it admittedly probably took more effort to write. Also got the Gold back up, good job! Although Shin will probably forge the "amazing" Iron Sword called "Thruster 2.0" with +100% hit or something; I called it Shin! I think that the Biraku update was funnier, but this one has its moments. The Biraku update is also a lot more impressive in my heart because I actually had to be good at FE, a little bit, sort of. This one, I just chucked spears at everything until it rolled over and died. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breezy Kanzaki Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Calling it right now, this is Breezy's favorite update. I OTOH am not sure if it holds up to YARANAIKA, but it admittedly probably took more effort to write. Also got the Gold back up, good job! Although Shin will probably forge the "amazing" Iron Sword called "Thruster 2.0" with +100% hit or something; I called it Shin! Well you are wrong.I had my update all planned out and now it is perfect to go. I could have gone without the Castor favoritism show until my chapter (spoiler alert, I have 19 and 23) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shin Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Calling it right now, this is Breezy's favorite update. I OTOH am not sure if it holds up to YARANAIKA, but it admittedly probably took more effort to write. Also got the Gold back up, good job! Although Shin will probably forge the "amazing" Iron Sword called "Thruster 2.0" with +100% hit or something; I called it Shin! No! My plan is foiled! See, at least Castor's good now! Although he'll probably want to be MANHORSE again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZemZem Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Tomas died. >:( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terrador Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Tomas died. >:( If it's any consolation, he got literally no kills in the arena. Just like Roger, Caesar, and Darros. Ogma lived through many more fights than he should've, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZemZem Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 If it's any consolation, he got literally no kills in the arena. Just like Roger, Caesar, and Darros. Ogma lived through many more fights than he should've, though. As long as he was sacrificed for a better cause. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da Bear Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Killing off everyone was genius. Good job Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terrador Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 As long as he was sacrificed for a better cause. He was. Because of their deaths, we have money! Killing off everyone was genius. Good job Not sure if sarcasm... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da Bear Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Not sure if sarcasm... Nope. Casualty PTs are the best, why should this be any exception? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terrador Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Nope. Casualty PTs are the best, why should this be any exception? Your approval fills me with shame. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da Bear Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 (edited) Your approval fills me with shame. Why does it do that? You should be proud to have been the manly one and put aside the singular soldiers for the greater gain of the army! Edited September 21, 2013 by Lonely Wallcrab Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vashiane Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Why does it do that? You should be proud to have been the manly one and put aside the singular soldiers for the greater gain of the army! And by army you mean Castor and the wielder of the Yaranaika? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da Bear Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 And by army you mean Castor and the wielder of the Yaranaika? Are there any other members of the army? Oh, yeah there are a few scrubs that Terrador didn't kill but meh who cares. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terrador Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 And by army you mean Castor and the wielder of the Yaranaika? AKA the army I built. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shin Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 AKA the army Biraku commands I'm sure we have loads of decent units! Like Biraku, Palla and yeah, Wrys and Castor aren't horrible! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terrador Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 I made Biraku into the Hero-King he is today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riariadne Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 No, it was I who was manipulating the strings all along! You're welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSND Alter Dragon Boner Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 (edited) ビラクのやらないか?は民のために YARANAIKA Edited September 22, 2013 by JSND Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jedi Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 Breezy wished me to post his update Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shin Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 Ha! You suckers all thought this was dead! That's because it was! I've had to redo a few chapters, but here's chapter 20! Shin to win! Like that you totally want a threesome with him and Sheeda... or Ogma, he's not picky! Doga promotes! Unfortunately his levels were kinda bad, so there's no salvaging him really! This was totally worth it! Doga proves that the Devil Axe is not our friend! Also Beck sucks... he actually misses like three attacks. The only reason I deployed him was because all our other dudes are chumps! I'm looking at you, Dallas! Yet semi-untrained Wolf can still tank like a boss! For a start, Marth didn't trigger the event, and second, how can Camus talk over mountains? I never liked the Village People. YMCA's pretty horrible! Three Paladins, Biraku and Est are out of range... RAGE. Thank goodness we didn't sell it for some stupid forge... right? Also Marth kinda got a lucky crit... but that was totally planned! She missed, I hate life. It's a sad day when Asstram has to cover for you. Jeigan pro ballista bait. I don't get how we've gotten like Midia and Arran who are still worse than him. And that was Camus' last mistake... other than wearing some stupid masquerade mask! OH NO BRO, HE HITS HARD! Do you know who else hits hard? MY MOM. No really, it's got 18 might, it's like the best bow in the game now! We also recruit eyepatch! Who makes our chumps look like our not-chumps. She wanted Camus as part of the threesome... but all is well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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