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QOTD Thread II - 420 - Favourite question so far?


Parrhesia
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not exactly sure--because if you're being stepped on for your niceness, that's a consequence of your "too-niceness." so, i think i agree with refa...

edit: hehe, just realized the question was "politeness," not niceness. i agree with pascal; being overly pc was my first thought.

Edited by Phoenix Wright
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Asians in formal situations.

When you are a doormat and if it's just isolated situations, it's okay.

But if it happens often enough, you need to walk away or tell them bluntly.

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When you're so afraid of offending people that you cut yourself up inside trying to be inoffensive as possible.

Or worse, end up being really offensive anyway, all because you are trying too hard not to be offensive. You wouldnt believe how many times i see this on the interwebz. Its hilarious and sad simultaneously.

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When it dulls the intent behind your words.

When you're so afraid of offending people that you cut yourself up inside trying to be inoffensive as possible.

These. Also when it causes you to lie.

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Too polite is when its so goddamn polite, it swings all the way to passive aggressiveness. To where you find yourself asking the question: "Are they making fun of me?"

Also being a doormat. Meh.

This, but closer to when politeness becomes dishonest or misleading. It can be either passive aggressive or plain manipulative.

Edited by Makaze
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When it dulls the intent behind your words.

When the actions don't suit the situation.

These.

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I've kinda struggled with this sometimes, especially when I had (even) less social experience.

Adding to/commenting on what Rewjeo said, I think there's a distinction to draw between polite phrasing and polite actions, such that whether one's successfully being polite comes down to a combination of consideration for others and social self-awareness. I can use neutral, flowery language and still come off like a jerk if that's not what the other person wants or expects to hear in that situation.

I guess that's closer to the actual definition of "charisma" than politeness, though, and it does feel kind of odd to refer to "being really informal in order to make somebody feel comfortable" as "being polite." But I somehow still have it associated in my head more with successfully accommodating people than with a certain manner of speaking.

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Question 299. Complete the following phrase; 'It is better to X than to Y'

(You can fudge the specific wording a bit, but go ahead)

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