Screenshot SB plays a POKEMON HACK FROM HELL [Complete!]

[charlie_]

IT'S BEEN TOO LONG SINCE I DID ONE OF THESE THINGS.

For people who can't guess, this is a hack of Pokemon Ruby for the GBA. If you also can't guess by the fact that I'm LPing this, it's also kind of horribly horribly designed. Item prices skyrocketed, trainers don't give out nearly as much money as the used to, the level curve and everyone has a fucking potion. Or two. Or four. It's really annoying.

I'm not completely blind for this, but I'm not fully informed either. I'll try and keep SPOILERZZZZ of the (admittedly bad) plot and gameplay to a minimum, although people might have heard me ranting about this monstrosity from time to time. I'm not playing with any kind of restrictions because due to the aforementioned terrible leveling curve, the last thing I need to do is shoot myself in the foot any more than the game already forces you to.

I don't really have any more to say other than I'll be somewhat open to suggestions on what to use. I have 2/6 planned out which are probably staying, but feel free to suggest who you want me to use. There are horrible fakemons in this game, but I don't really know anything about them bar one, so don't expect any insight from me.

But yeah, time to get this started.

[spoiler=FEMINISTS ARE IDIOTS]

Oh god that school sucks ass.

Oops, I already broke the no spoilers thing, didn't I?

I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK THERE

According to Xinnidy, I'm a boy.

Might. What.

Who the hell names their kid that?

After a little while I decided the second summed up my feelings about this hack slightly better than the first one, so I'm going with that.

Well I don't.

I TOLD YOU I DON'T WANT TO GO.

Start in the middle of nowhere. Right.

At least it's better than a moving truck?

Oh god.

We can have silent protagonists without spamming DOTDOTDOTDOTDOTDOT you know?

I feel like this name was the correct choice.

Why did we turn around when the voice was coming from the other direction?

HOW SHOULD I KNOW?

Fuck that, it went well for the kids in Sinnoh, so why wouldn't it work here?

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT WAY HOME IS.

Oh god.

He's succumbed to the ellipsis spam too.

Then there's some ENCOURAGING WORDS that weren't interesting at all so I didn't screencap them. gg.

I'm sure that'll go perfectly well.

Darn. We almost made it a full screen away without being interruptions!

FEMINISTS

THEY RETURN

I just noticed Kevin standing further in front of us for no reason.

That's really off-putting.

Man the evil team waste no time in showing up? I wonder what kind of MACHO EVIL INTIMIDATING NAME THAT STRIKES FEAR INTO THE HEARTS OF EVEN THE BRAVEST MAN could have?

Addendum: The only chump they scare is Kevin.

Seriously.

Dark Organization.

The weeb level is rising.

What an ORIGINAL PLOTLINE.

"hard way."

Such intimidating words.

I'm quaking in my boots.

I thought you told us to run?

The chump actually has a point!

THEY'RE NOT OURS EITHER, IDIOT.

Oh man a TERRIFYING WOOBAT.

Yeah there are later gen Pokemon and fakemons in this game. The starters are all the kanto ones.

I really recommend that you NOT pick Charmander because for some dumb reason half the game is spent raining, which makes it kind of shitty.

I picked Bulbasaur because fuck the second gym. The first is arguably going to be worse, but whatever.

>Wild

>Sandstorm background

GOOD HACK.

Anyway, I literally missed four times in that fight. I don't get it.

Level 2 Pokemon op.

It was level 2. Come on.

So much for you protecting the Pokemon?

Man, you're doing SUCH A GOOD JOB DELIVERING THEM by giving them away, aren't you?

I don't get this woman at all.

No kidding.

I'm not sure if "happy" is the right word considering I know what's in store for me.

GOTTA SET THAT CLOCK (WRONG).

I don't even know why I bother.

Oh.

Yeah we have those apparently!

And fade out and back to our room.

Edited March 30, 2015 by SB.

[Darros]

They didn't even show you the way home.. RIP u

[Lance Masayoshi]

Oh my god.

This game

Someone who agrees with me on it.

Following.

[Ice Sage]

Dark Organization and Might

rofl

good luck with this bro

[Xinnidy]

Between the weeb organization, the amazing name, and feminists, I say we have a good LP ahead of us.

Brave on, SB. o7

[Lance Masayoshi]

Wait I need to ask, are you doing the Bad or Good ending?

[BANRYU]

The fuck is this game

Sure, I'll watch.

[charlie_]

Wait I need to ask, are you doing the Bad or Good ending?

I didn't even know multiple endings existed.

[Lance Masayoshi]

I didn't even know multiple endings existed.

They do.

I did both. One has more story than the other so.

[Zkirsche]

Just want to say that if you want to rip the story to shreds, don't worry about spoiling the plot because it'd be funnier that way.

/following

[charlie_]

Time to introduce one of the reoccurring themes of this game: spending a stupidly long time walking around empty routes for no real reason!

[spoiler=DESPITE ALL THE TRAVELLING, NOTHING WAS REALLY ACCOMPLISHED]

Ffs Kevin just go away.

It's not even ten at night, you tool.

No, it's a chest. For some reason.

Did you just throw a metal box at me?

I DON'T KNOW YOU.

PLEASE LEAVE.

So we go outside and well...

Obligatory rival fight go?

For some reason he's two levels lower than us, and for some reason his starter here is always Charmander. Or at least it was with my Charmander run. Maybe it's intentional, but I'm gonna assume that it's an oversight so that I can complain about it more.

What the fuck is a guardian trainer? Why does nobody ever tell me any of these things?

I missed screencapping some girl walking her fakemon. Oops?

That's kind of what being a Pokemon trainer is about, dipshit.

FUCK YOU.

The academy is terrible for so many reasons. So many fucking reasons.

Anyway, GO LEFT.

These things are like, the only nice thing the game ever does for you. They tell you where you need to go, which is useful considering the game is kind of terrible about doing that itself!

Unfortunately it's also kind of vague at times but it's better than nothing?

FUCK.

THIS FUCKING RABBIT.
I HATE THIS RABBIT.

So basically my other file of this game has earned eight badges (but I only have two badges THANKS OBAMA JAGOLD) and these things and it's evolution is still appearing everywhere I seem to go. No matter what, I can't escape, and it's kind of hideous. And it's just a shitty normal type too, so it's not even threatening so much as annoying. I don't know why these abominations are in the game.

Um, then some screenshots got lost. Just know there was a WILD LEGENDARY who roared us away with no explanation and then some blonde douche was like "FELINAR IS MINE" and walked off.

Anyway, we made it to the forest.

Which we really shouldn't have to go through without a Pokedex, you know?

Speaking of the blonde prick he's here.

Generally when you announce your evil intentions to anyone you meet, I wouldn't imagine that they would be fooled.

This lady has the evolved abomination.

We had to walk her back to start of the forest and got a potion for it. Not worth it.

Just remembered I hadn't shown nature and stuff if anyone was interested. Sleep happened because fuck effect spore.

Anyway, end of the POINTLESSLY LONG FOREST that didn't get screenshots becuase nothing even happened in it. Isn't this fun guys???

Anyway we leave and come into... another pointless route, it's really just going up and left and nothing happens but wild battles.

I WONDER IF WE CAN ACTUALLY CATCH SOMETHING SOON?

SPOILERS WE CAN'T

Rage, we can't escape the chumpy rival.

MAN DO YOUR PARENTS SUCK ASS TOO

WE CAN BE BROS

Kevin, I still don't know who you are and I don't even know that dude's name but you've been REPLACED.

MORE FUN STUFF
REMEMBER HOW I SAID MONEY SUCKS IN THIS GAME?
I HAVEN'T BOUGHT ANYTHING YET, AND THIS IS ALL I HAVE, WITH PRICES INFLATED TO HELL FOR NO REAL REASON.

Seriously. It doesn't even make the game harder, just more tedious and results in more Pokemon Center trips despite the fact you're in fairly long routes.

Just posting this to show the QUALITY of this hack. Gotta break those speech boxes.

STOP FOLLOWING ME

This is so people might vaguely follow along with where I'm going unlike the last routes, but guess what NOTHING HAPPENED HERE EITHER.

That'd be good advice IF I ACTUALLY HAD POKEBALLS FUCK YOU TOO GAME.

Already Level 10. I'm pretty sure by the time I have Pokeballs I'll one-shot everything that I actually want to catch?

Can we just get on the boat and get the shitty academy arc over with?

oh my god stop doing this already

3edgy5me

Seriously what kind of idiot stands in the doorway and tells other people to piss off if they want to get inside. He doesn't even gain anything from doing this right now, he's just being a twat for absolutely no reason.

God damn I hate the characters in this game. And the rest of the game too.

[Book of Ereshkigal]

I will observe this

[Lance Masayoshi]

I hate the rabbit

Go on a genocide of them

Do ittttt

Also Steven clone 2 edgy

[euklyd]

Seriously what kind of idiot stands in the doorway and tells other people to piss off if they want to get inside. He doesn't even gain anything from doing this right now, he's just being a twat for absolutely no reason.

This literally happens in like all of the actual games.

[Darros]

[4:22:58 PM] √Wyatt: I think
[4:23:00 PM] √Wyatt: those bad guys
[4:23:04 PM] √Wyatt: have Big D's on their shirts
[4:23:19 PM] √Wyattr: they're probably overcompensating for something
[4:24:35 PM] tayberries.and.cream: XDDDDD
[4:24:48 PM] tayberries.and.cream: It's the officially Library D T-Shirt.
[4:24:59 PM] Anthony: lol
[4:25:00 PM] √Wyatt: im screaming

it even relates to BAD FANFICTION HOURS from last night amazing

Half of me wants to play this now SB what are you doing to me

[algae]

I can't help but wonder why you'd put yourself through this.

[Lance Masayoshi]

I can't help but wonder why you'd put yourself through this.

To show that this game(I've LPed it) is a terrible and bad game and no one should play it

Of course that's my speculation.

Edited May 12, 2014 by Victor S. Court

[MRDRHAWK]

yeah good luck with this SB

[eclipse]

In my headcanon, Bulbasaur fell asleep because it wanted to escape from the hack.

Best of luck to this run. You will need it, if that writing is any indication.

[Jedi]

This looks horribly hilarious, I wonder how DARK the dark organization is :P

[Baldrick]

It's probably 3dark5me

[charlie_]

CONTINUING ON

[spoiler=BAD GAME DESIGN INC.]

And just a little further right is the third town. Still no Pokeballs or Pokedex!

Hey it's BLONDE DICK

I DON'T WANT THAT GIANT PICK CAT THING ANYWAY

But seriously this was all we had to do here. There was no point in making this mandatory, but for some reason it is!

For some reason this gets ANGSTY STEVE to move out of the way.

"HEVAH academy soon."

But not yet because we HAVEN'T DONE ENOUGH WITHOUT THE ABILITY TO CATCH POKEMON YET.

Whyyyyyyyy won't you leave me aloooooooooone

huh

what

fuck off

So this is basically Wally. Except your Pokemon can kill the Ralts if the move in your first slot is strong enough. I had tackle there, so no.

At long last! I finally get to leave!

With your level 5 ralts? Pfft, this'll be easy mode.

YOU

YOU HAVE THREE POKEMON

AND YET YOU FEEL THE NEED TO STEAL MINE TO CATCH SOMETHING

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOU IDIOT

He had these and a Ralts. Low leveled, not difficult in the slightest.

I'm pretty sure you don't have a Death Note, so why would I need to do that?

Anyway we need to go BACK TO THE LAST TOWN AGAIN.

And go challenge the gym.

Without a Pokedex.

Without the ability to capture a Pokemon.

Without a way to get around the fact Bulbasaur is weak against flying types.

What the fuck are you doing game.

FUCK YOU TOO.

I don't caaaaaaaaaare

Leech Seed lyf.

A LOT OF GROWLS AND TACKLES LATER.

I don't feel free.

I still have to go to the academy of fucking stupidity.

Right. A Pokedex. One of those things should definitely have right now, considering our starter is about to evolve.

Don't look at me as if it's my fault.

I DON'T TAKE ORDERS FROM FEMINISTS.

Anyway we get to go BACK TO THE BOAT NOW ISN'T ALL OF THIS WALKING THROUGH GRASS FUN GUYS??????

Unfortunately.

Anyway, on the boat.

There is nothing of value here whatsoever. You just need to find one guy who you might miss and have no idea you're supposed to find. I did miss him on my first run and got totally confused because I talked to literally everyone and everyone on this damn boat is completely useless.

Considering that you would probably walk back into the ship straight away after looking here, it's kind of crappy placement.

oh god the terrible formatting has gotten to you too

i'm sorry

I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR INTERNAL MONOLOGUES

DEFINITELY.

I.

Just.

No. We could've been bros, but that pun is just too bad.

Apparently his name is Ryan, if anyone actually cares?

Nobody with a name like that could even be vaguely dangerous.

Anyway, next we have to find our room (there are like 20 of them and there's no indication of whether or not it's your room EVEN WHEN YOU ENTER IT and then sleep for some reason.

Then leave.

God, why does nobody understand this?

Anyway, next time I'm probably going to go on a massive rant about why this part of the game was such a terrible idea.

That sounds like what I did in this update, actually.

[Lance Masayoshi]

Damn I like this

I had trouble with Janice though, but Light I didn't.

Also I hate the Symbol Leaders so much I call them Gym Leaders.

I also think this a terrible recolor

[Ice Sage]

man

that's some shitty game design

and that pun was awful

[Lance Masayoshi]

man

that's some shitty game design

and that pun was awful

It gets worse

And so does the plot.