screenshot Let's make world conquest easier for Zephiel - Let's play Ironman Fire Emblem 6, without skills!

[Saint Rubenio]

So, remember the time I said I wouldn't do another LP any time soon because I was busy?

Yeah.

I lied.

"And the fabled tactician who almost destroyed the universe, right after sending half of his army to their deaths".

Although, I definitely hope things don't go so badly this time around.

Remember me? I played FE12 and it was horrible! It almost feels like it was only last week.

Now I'm here to bring forth another work of locomotive malfunction and consequent derailment.

I initially considered playing normal mode. Then I thought of playing normal but increasing the enemy growths a little, so it would be like a "not so hard" mode.

Then I thought "fuck it, the only good thing of my last LP was me failing". Hard mode it is!

If we make it past chapter 7, I'll be satisfied.

Ruben, didn't you say you wouldn't have time for this?

The thing about FE12 was that it had a number of factors that made it rather tedious to LP. The two screens forced me to go through long, dragged out sessions of cropping, the character sprites going dark when not actively talking made editing harder than it needed to be, and the lack of assets for FE12 on the internet and highly detailed sprites forced me to cut corners weirdly when editing.

FE6 does not have any of these issues, which should make things easier for me.

Does that mean we'll get an actual schedule this time?

I intend to at least update every 3 days. Not as rushed as the main campaign, but not as hilariously slow as the chronicles.

Will we get another terrible, self-insert fanfic?

Can't you see the tag?

I didn't read the last LP! What's all this talk about destroying the universe? Should I call 911?

Go ahead and read it! It's right there in my signature, along with a reader's recommendation. Eh? Eh?

If you cannot be arsed, well, it's not that important. I plan to introduce some continuity, but it should be quite obvious to anybody with two eyes and a functional brain.

Will we get a saying on anything that goes on in the LP? Routes, units, anything?

No.

Hahahah, okay okay, I mean, I'll try to play all routes in different save files. I'll probably do what I want for the most part, but feel free to suggest units or things to do.

Just... not Rutger please... we've been over that. I think.
 

 

So, that's it? Good.

Then, without any further ado...

It is time to wait a few days until I get around to writing down the update!

Until then, I fare you all well.

[De Geso]

Why would you not use Rutger? He's amazing in HM

[KnightOfNohr]

Well...to be honest, that was a lot sooner than expected. However, I am happy to read and comment on one of your Let's Plays once again!

I've never played FE6 (a fact I do not particularly regret), but my brother is practically obsessed with Roy for reasons I am unable to comprehend. 

[sirmola]

What's "without skills" mean? FE6 doesn't have a skill system afaik.

I was actualy about to post that before I realisd that you menat that YOU had no skills, not the characters.

[deskita]

So... when's the earliest I can place bets on which characters will be dying.

[KnightOfNohr]

5 hours ago, deskita said:

So... when's the earliest I can place bets on which characters will be dying[?]

I would say...around chapter five. However, we should abstain from doing such if Ruben does not condone it.

[Saint Rubenio]

Part 1 - The beginning of something not very good. Probably.

17 hours ago, YouSquiddinMe said:

Why would you not use Rutger? He's amazing in HM

In my LP of FE12 I used Matthis. Let that be a testament to the kind of units I'd rather use.

 

17 hours ago, KnightOfNohr said:

Well...to be honest, that was a lot sooner than expected. However, I am happy to read and comment on one of your Let's Plays once again!

And I'll be glad to have you on board!

I've never played FE6 (a fact I do not particularly regret), but my brother is practically obsessed with Roy for reasons I am unable to comprehend. 

Maybe Smash. It's hard to obsess over roy because of his own game. But he is good in Smash 4, so there's that.

 

16 hours ago, sirmola said:

What's "without skills" mean? FE6 doesn't have a skill system afaik.

I was actualy about to post that before I realisd that you menat that YOU had no skills, not the characters.

Yeah, if this turns out anything like my last LP, the title's going to make a whole lot of sense, very soon.

 

10 hours ago, deskita said:

So... when's the earliest I can place bets on which characters will be dying.

Honestly? I think chapter 4. Maybe 3, if I'm especially distracted that day.

 

4 hours ago, KnightOfNohr said:

I would say...around chapter five. However, we should abstain from doing such if Ruben does not condone it.

Come now, what sort of tyrant do you take me for? I'm more pessimistic about it than you, for God's sake!

Spoiler

And so, it begins...

...with a scrolling text that's hard to screenshot properly.

Copying text is hard and boring so, at least for now, I'll stick to the last LP's format of cluttering my posts with screenshots so I can go over the plot in detail.

I think everybody knows this story anyways.

No, this wasn't me being an idiot at pressing F12. The game literally starts fading to black the very moment the last line shows up, making it hard to catch. This was my best shot.

Ah, Elibe. Now that I'm looking at it, does it not resemble europe a little bit? The western isles definitely are the UK.

Does that mean this game predicted Brexit with the whole bussiness of the western isles wanting out of Etruria?

Which shall never be explored in favour of showing how assholish they can get.

Badguys.jpg. Well, badguys1.jpg and badguys2.jpg but you get the idea.

Bern is the name of the capital of Switzerland. If we compare this map to Europe, then Bern is situated at...

...Romania, Bulgaria, Hungary and Serbia, more or less. So close, IntSys. So close.

The protagonists! My favourite nation is Ostia, because in spanish, "ostia" is a very popular swear word, which makes the fact that somebody named their nation Ostia extremely funny.

Ilia is a good looking place. The maps that take place there are quite beautiful. These GBA FEs are gorgeous, but Ilia more so.

That has to be the most boring description ever. Come now, that can't be all they ever do! Half of them are on-foot Swordmasters, for crying out loud!

Oh, boy, I do wonder who will be to blame for that...

I mean, with those eyes, was there any chance he would turn out to be good?

Not all, really, we'll be finding plenty of survivors.

"And Roy".

Now, for the record, I don't hate Roy like some. Heck, I find him to be rather interesting (in his supports more than anything).

Eliwood! My favourite protagonist from FE7! I'm so weird, yay!

And here's Spanishname of Spanishswearword, unofficial leader of Lycia, more or less.

Remember this game came out before FE7. This may seem obvious now, but back then it players must have been like "who cares about these old men? Let me meet the protagonists already!".

And then IntSys decided to make a game out of these minor characters and one that didn't even exist. Neither now nor then.

I do wonder if they'll make it safely there.

Why, of course not!

Nah, he just wants to leave the experience for his son. Have you seen his stats in the trial maps? He's hilariously overpowered.

Praise you, o wise Dames. Or Damas. Because spanish words totally make for good names, amirite? Lots of love to you, Gringe, I adore your translation. But it had to be said. Besides, you're not even to blame for Ostia.

Not a bad plan.

Meet tutorial man, who does not deserve capital letters on his name. He will not live very long.

And here are... our heroes?

This doesn't work so well when Eliwood still has a fatherly smile on while throwing a temper tantrum.

Hahahah, like that's ever worked.

Silly Eliwood. Words can never dissuade Mage kids in FE--

...that might, though. Daddies are always a delicate matter in FE.

More like Marcus will drive off these dastards. But he's not an important character, we can't mention him, lest we risk this cutscene not making any sense due to his death--

Wait a minute, the game hasn't started yet! They could've gotten away with mentioning him here!

How, exactly, are you going to send a messenger through bandits who are not above killing sick men, kids and old timers?

Oh, like that.

Meet our lord and savior, our boy! And Lance, the green Cavalier, in his one appearance in the main story!

Also meet Allen, the red Cavalier, saying his one line in the main story.

Oh boy, not Eliwood!

Bors, of course, does not give a crap about Eliwood. Or maybe he's just seen his stats and he knows there's nothing to be worried about. Even if this unidentified illness were to cut his stats in half, he'd still wipe the floor with these Dames!

Not forever, I mean, what's the life expectancy in the Middle Ages of Anime? 100? And how old is Eliwood, mid 40s?

Wolt is Roy's childhood friend and milk brother. Marcus is his mentor and master. Can you guess how many lines they've got in the main story?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah, for those who where there in the last LP, I look... rather different, don't I? As much as I love Barlowe's character design, I think I'd like to get my own identity. Ergh, own-ish. In truth, I simply frankensteined together Leygance's hairdo and face (after editing his nose), Hugh/Narcian's eyes (and occasionally Murdock's eyebrows), Narcian's collar, necklace and undershirt, Novala's lower torso, and Arcado's arms. I like the result quite a lot, so yeah. If you don't agree with me, screw you.

Finally, the plot's over! Time for gameplay. Some people complained that I wasn't showing people's growths in the last LP. Therefore...

I have decided to make things right this time!

Let's take a look at our starting team.

- Roy's growths aren't too bad for this game's standards, and while his base HP is mediocre, the rest of his bases are okay. That would make him a rather servicable Lord, right?

Well, no, because he promotes one/three chapters before the end of the game. Joy. Thank you truly, IntSys.

- Wolt is the worst Archer in the game. He's not that bad, it's just that the next Archer is slightly better than him, and both Nomads blow him out of the water. This, of course, means I will try to use him.

- Bors' base defense is great, but other than that, he's rather bad. What's up with his growths? His speed and luck are the highest non-HP growths he has! Did they give Lot his growths by mistake? In any case, he's still the best of the Knights in this game.

- Marcus is Jeigan and that's about it. Inmensely useful now, will cease to be later.

- Allen and Lance are quite similar. Allen has slightly more strength, defense, HP and luck, while Lance has slightly more skill, speed and res. They'll turn out similarly, if the RNG cooperates.

This game is infamous for its annoying bosses. Here, take a gander at Ladies. The first boss in the game two-shots Jeigan. And nobody can double him! Level 5 Fighters shouldn't be this strong.

But enough of that, let's get to the action.

Tutorial. "No, you doofus, you cannot win without killing Damas".

Our first turn goes pretty well.

Oh well, it was worth a try.

Lance's speed is useful, even if he can't quite double the enemy.

Urgh. Bors!

While that happens, Wolt is taking Marcus' well tenderized Fighters. Delightful!

People say Roy's animations are bad. Quite honestly, I think that's just complaining for the sake of complaining. Sure, his dad was cooler, but Roy isn't bad!

Aside from getting no new animations after promoting, but I mean, who's going to give him anything but the Binding Blade?

BORS!

It's a good thing Roy is competent.

More jeiganing. I really like Marcus' palette, probably my favourite Paladin in the game in terms of looks. Shame he falls off.

Before proceeding, let's visit the Meme Château, which isn't as epic now because Gringe understood that "Guess what?" is a pretty stupid line in this context.

Look at this! Marcus can't double everyone in the first chapter!

But it's okay, it just means we have to attack him in the player phase as well.

Allen lures the Archer to the edge of the hill above him while Lance takes on tutorial man.

Meanwhile, Roy is not recognized by the people of his marquisate who also happen to live 15 minutes away from castle Pherae.

And now, thanks to my brilliant strategies, the Archer is stuck! And thanks to Wolt, his partner cannot help him. Delightfully devilish!

tutorial man is just barely clinging to life. The perfect kill for--

Allen!

Bors skewers the Archer into oblivion.

Marcus lures the two northern Fighters south for us to kill easily.

First level of the LP! Please don't be empty...

Huh, it's nice!

Lance takes the other kill.

Wait, who is this? Get out of my Imgur folder! And stop predicting the future of my army!

Again, does Roy just never go out? Why does nobody recognize their future Marquess?

Oh, no, not this time. This time he's going to get the kill, even if it kills him!

...although, I'd rather it didn't kill him.

Good.

As Wolt fails to be as accurate as his class is supposed to be again, I start to realise I took far too few pictures of the map. I'm still accustomed to FE12 and its convenient lower screen.

At least it's only the first chapter, so all we're doing is move north towards the castle. I'll try harder next time.

That's it, everyone but Madams is dead.

Let's take his generic, throwaway self on, shall we?

That annoying crit chance... that right there is a 6% chance of losing all the EXP of this boss kill. I don't believe pure Jeigans should be avoided like the plague on charges of being EXP thieves, but giving them boss kills is rather stupid.

Oh, never mind, not everybody was dead. Well, regardless, it just means Bors will have a chance to level up.

Let's leave Girls alone for a little while, these guys need to die.

Marcus, I don't believe your horse is quite all right...

What does that mean? Are you calling my horse old?! ARE YOU CALLING ME OLD, TACTICIAN?!?! I MAY BE OLD, BUT I CAN USE A SILVER LANCE JUST FINE!

Come now, your horse suffering a stroke has nothing to do with your age!

My horse needs no help. He's served me well for the last 30 years!

...

Roy kills the Archer and is then pummeled by his vengeful Fighter partner.

I'm trying to set him up for Bors. If I do that and then give Roy the boss kill, everybody will get a level in this chapter!

Well, except Allen and Marcus, but Marcus is Jeigan and Allen is boring.

No, I didn't forget about Lance. He only needed that fight to level up. Ergh. Sufficient, I suppose.

How did you manage that with your growths, Bors? I once had a you that capped speed! I want that to happen again!

Okie-dokie, with that done, back to Wives.

Ergh...

Urk...

Okay, you may have it, Roy.

Beware, new readers. Gore and blood incoming.

 

 

 

Just some classic mouth and nose bleeding to get things started. We'll get to the decapitations later. I'm still gathering the plates.

This is, what, the first part? And I'm already making jokes that only people who read the last LP will understand. Dangit, me!

I find it a little sad that the best level of the chapter was Wolt's.

But in any case, it's over.

Here, have a sketch of what happened in the chapter in lieu of actual screencaps of the map. I will try to do better next time.

I'm honestly sad we didn't get a sort of timed mission where we have to kill everyone before Elliwood, a Paladin with absolutely horrible stats, bites the dust over at the gate.

But this is Seize Emblem so Elliwood just sort of hid behind a pillar with Lilina and Merlinus.

You see, one thing I like about this game is that, unlike pretty much every other FE ever, the protagonist's father is actually alive. Looks like a taxidermist's masterpiece, but he's alive. Roy has a very personal reason to join the army despite being an insecure kid without fighting skills.

Although, I definitely think Eliwood could've sent somebody else in his stead instead of interrupting his son's studies.

That army consists entirely of the units we used in this chapter. One of which wasn't even a Pheraean. Phrean. Pherean.

Phear? Pear?

Yeah, definitely pear.

"That's why I will send you, a kid who can't fight, instead of a seasoned veteran like Marcus".

Jeez, this girl is really stubborn. Although, she definitely would've been better if she joined now.

But Eliwood will have none of that.

He also makes a good point, but of course, Lilina--

...Lilina has just been confirmed to be a better, more responsible ruler than Nyna. I'm dumbstruck.

"He's also inmortal, as I found out in the war 20 years ago. That means you can talk to him without any fear of him dying and forcing the developers to write an alternate version of the story where he's dead".

Hell yeah! Let's show the world who our boy is!

And here is Lilina to make sure Bors doesn't leave the party. His chin shall defend us all from harm!

 

 

 

 

 

DEATH COUNT: --

RESET COUNT : --

 

[KnightOfNohr]

Personally, I find that the main problem with the stories of Fire Emblem games is the lack of character involvement. The permadeath feature may be one of the most significant gameplay aspects of the series, but it also condones non-lord units to have only one in-story appearance. That, or have their "deaths" not actually be fatal. What a cop-out.

Say what you will about Awakening, its biggest strength was its characters. Supports were fleshed out and easily achieved, and all units had their own personalized lines during battle. In the old days, if you couldn't figure out how supports work, they became little more than soldiers with faces. Or rather, soldiers with visible faces.

The sprite of you looks great, but Wrys' is a bit...hypothetical adjective form of abomination. (To use the layman's term, abomination-y) No offense to you, though.

[Dinkiniensis Pontifex]

Ol' Wrys, the scrotum-faced priest. By the way, Ostia was the name of an ancient Roman port on the Italian peninsula. But it does sound identical to hostia. Nice to see a new LP from you!

[deskita]

The Ruben portrait looks good but the Wrys portrait looks positively terrifying in a hilarious way.

[Dayni]

Well this is a christmas surprise! I even missed the announcement post!

On 12/21/2017 at 11:22 PM, Rubenio said:

HOW DID YOU EVEN GET THESE SHOTS?

On 12/22/2017 at 6:56 PM, Rubenio said:

Praise you, o wise Dames.

Well that explains why he wants to take Pherae. Man's got some noble position after all!

On 12/22/2017 at 6:56 PM, Rubenio said:

Yeah, for those who where there in the last LP, I look... rather different, don't I? As much as I love Barlowe's character design, I think I'd like to get my own identity. Ergh, own-ish. In truth, I simply frankensteined together Leygance's hairdo and face (after editing his nose), Hugh/Narcian's eyes (and occasionally Murdock's eyebrows), Narcian's collar, necklace and undershirt, Novala's lower torso, and Arcado's arms. I like the result quite a lot, so yeah. If you don't agree with me, screw you.

I have to give credit to you, that's actually pretty good over all.

Also, probably a bad time to say it, but someone put a GBA character creator (which uses spliced stuff to be honest) up on the FE subreddit, it doesn't seem too bad and it likely would have been useful for this. Too late now.

Edit: Tried it, certainly more limited than I expected. You do you.

On 12/22/2017 at 6:56 PM, Rubenio said:

Meanwhile, Roy is not recognized by the people of his marquisate who also happen to live 15 minutes away from castle Pherae.

Not surprising when you're in another country for your education.

And are Roy. (I could probably do with not insulting Roy too much)

On 12/22/2017 at 6:56 PM, Rubenio said:

That annoying crit chance... that right there is a 6% chance of losing all the EXP of this boss kill. I don't believe pure Jeigans should be avoided like the plague on charges of being EXP thieves, but giving them boss kills is rather stupid.

Eh, if they're like Seth they'll be fine having it because the can solo the game anyway!

This Marcus not so much.

On 12/22/2017 at 6:56 PM, Rubenio said:

Looks like a taxidermist's masterpiece, but he's alive.

Yeah I kind of get it now. I always was a bit weirded out by BB Eli-

On 12/22/2017 at 6:56 PM, Rubenio said:

AAAAAAAAAA! MY EYES! I FEEL LIKE THIS IS INTENTIONAL!

This needs to be a meme now.

(I should probably get on with the axes playthrough I'd said I'd do...)

Edited December 24, 2017 by Dayni

[Saint Rubenio]

On 22/12/2017 at 8:40 PM, KnightOfNohr said:

Wrys' is a bit...hypothetical adjective form of abomination.

 

On 22/12/2017 at 10:58 PM, Dinkiniensis Pontifex said:

Ol' Wrys, the scrotum-faced priest.

 

On 22/12/2017 at 11:28 PM, deskita said:

Wrys looks positively terrifying in a hilarious way.

 

On 23/12/2017 at 12:34 AM, Dayni said:

AAAAAAAAAA! MY EYES! I FEEL LIKE THIS IS INTENTIONAL!

Come now, you needn't be so mean to Wrys...

What is it, Ruben? Why are you flustered so?

Here, take a look.

...

Ho ho ho! Looks like I'm causing sensation!

But we spent years at sea! It's only normal you would grow old... er... they don't have to be such assholes! Then again, they don't know about that...

It matters not, Ruben. I am not angry. I know I am not exactly a dashing young man.

You, on the other hand, seem to have grown younger after our long journey!

Heh, I suppose so...

I do wonder though, who sent these letters to you? We have only been at Pherae for a few months, and with all the tension with Bern, we haven't been able to make many friends...

Well, you see--

You there! Would you stop lazing around? We are going to rendezvous with the mercenaries, and Lord Roy wants them to meet his tactician as well!

Okay, okay, I'm coming... hungh, what a hassle...

MOVE IT ALREADY!

I'M MOVING! LET ME STAND UP FROM MY CHAIR! OR WOULD YOU RATHER I CARRY IT ON MY ASS ALL THE WAY TO ROY?!

Chair or no, if you don't hurry up... I CAN STILL USE A SILVER LANCE! YOU'D DO WELL NOT TO FORGET THAT!

Heh heh! I'm looking forward to meeting these mercenaries... ohh, this all reminds me of when I was in Lord Marth's army, and Ogma and his group...

Part 2 - I'm already sick of thrones, and we haven't seen any yet!

On 22/12/2017 at 8:40 PM, KnightOfNohr said:

Personally, I find that the main problem with the stories of Fire Emblem games is the lack of character involvement. The permadeath feature may be one of the most significant gameplay aspects of the series, but it also condones non-lord units to have only one in-story appearance. That, or have their "deaths" not actually be fatal. What a cop-out.

Yeah, I think Tear Ring Saga handled that better, although supports do help remedy that issue.

Say what you will about Awakening, its biggest strength was its characters. Supports were fleshed out and easily achieved, and all units had their own personalized lines during battle. In the old days, if you couldn't figure out how supports work, they became little more than soldiers with faces. Or rather, soldiers with visible faces.

As you know, I'm not very familiar with Awakening, so I'll just take your word for it.

 

On 22/12/2017 at 10:58 PM, Dinkiniensis Pontifex said:

By the way, Ostia was the name of an ancient Roman port on the Italian peninsula.

Yeah, I figured it would be a reference to old history or mithology, Elibe loves those. My point still stands.

But it does sound identical to hostia.

Also, I'm pretty sure hostia is the sacred bread served at church for shenanigans whose name I forgot in spanish, let alone english. The curse word is, well, ostia.

Nice to see a new LP from you!

Hah, thanks a lot. I'll try to kill less people this time.

 

On 23/12/2017 at 12:34 AM, Dayni said:

Well this is a christmas surprise! I even missed the announcement post!

Happy christmas!

HOW DID YOU EVEN GET THESE SHOTS?

VBA allows for slowing down the game. I usually use it to give myself some cool slowmo shots of bosses dying and the like.

Then I noticed they looked badass put together.

Well that explains why he wants to take Pherae. Man's got some noble position after all!

He's good, that Ladies.

I have to give credit to you, that's actually pretty good over all.

Thanks!

Also, probably a bad time to say it, but someone put a GBA character creator (which uses spliced stuff to be honest) up on the FE subreddit, it doesn't seem too bad and it likely would have been useful for this. Too late now.

Eh, it's okay. I had fun making it manually. Thanks for telling me, though.

Not surprising when you're in another country for your education.

And are Roy. (I could probably do with not insulting Roy too much)

Eh. Go ahead.

Eh, if they're like Seth they'll be fine having it because the can solo the game anyway!

This Marcus not so much.

That's why I especifically refered to "pure Jeigans".

Yeah I kind of get it now. I always was a bit weirded out by BB Eli-

He's ill, remember. Although it can't be that bad. Illness or no, he still survived the whole game, and most importantly, he never does sneeze. It can't be an anime illness if they don't cough.

AAAAAAAAAA! MY EYES! I FEEL LIKE THIS IS INTENTIONAL!

This needs to be a meme now.

Honestly, if my half-assed sprite of Wrys becomes a meme, I'll be extremely happy.

Although, all these reactions were good enough for me not to regret simply stealing the Wrys sprite used in Arch's old "Exalted Legacy" hack. Besides the fact that it wouldn't be ethical.

(I should probably get on with the axes playthrough I'd said I'd do...)

Well, count me in if you do it. Axes-only playthrough sounds fun.

Spoiler

Why we have to leave Pherae to meet Dick and company is beyond me, though.

Especially considering it's right next to the enemy!

Yeah, when you really think about it, this chapter's boss ultimately caused Zephiel's downfall with his shenanigans. You'll see.

They weren't even trying to hide it, were they?

Well now, this nameless chick looks as important as she looks attractive.

Oh, oh, oh oh sorry, I'm sorry, I almost forgot, it is forbidden by the Law of Normal People to think that a character of fiction is designed to look easy on the eye.

Hmph...

By the way, her tongue is as sharp as Marcus' silver lance. How will Ruud retaliate?

Amazing.

Oh my God, they intend to attack us! I better tell R-- Oh, wait, right, plot!me isn't supposed to be listening to this. Only omnipresent me, the player, shall hear of Bern's foul plans!

No, you probably shouldn't have. Then again, you probably shouldn't just leave the country entirely when there isn't a chance of her having made it too far from the castle.

Of course, threaten the guy. That surely won't make him consider deserting, no Sir.

And she leaves, with Ruud staying behind to... continue his search for the princess?

Nope! He actually has her well under control! That's rude, Ruud.

Yeah, it sure is a good idea to kidnap the younger sister of psycho king who despises humanity.

"With all those mountains of coin, we'll be able to buy the best armor and weaponery in town! Not even the king will be a match to us!"

"But Commander, he's got a legendary scepter that turns into a sword bigger than either of us!"

"Shut you trap! MONEY IS IMPORTANT!"

The Soldier is already considering deserting. You could join us, pal! I'd like to get a playable soldier.

I can just read the sarcasm in that line. This generic Soldier is great.

So great. "A snag". Witness of your boss' four deeds has fled. Joy.

Too late, I'm afraid.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the mountain, Roy and co. are here.

Elen bumps into Roy, even though Bors was standing between them. But Bors is not allowed to be an important character, so fuck him.

Well, that was that. Let's keep on waiting for the mercenaries, I suppose...?

Oh, never mind, it's not over.

That's a reasonable reaction to what I assume is a cleric just randomly dropping to her knees after learning she's speaking to the heir of Pherae, I suppose.

Elen also fails to answer basic questions with answers according to the inquiry at hand.

Sounds reasonable. Let's go--

...sound reasonabler. Let's not go.

Yeah, Merlinus is this game's "I spell out things we shouldn't do for you to do them and ignore my ass as I grumble" character. And Roy will do anything to ignore his advice, let me tell you. You'll see a good example in about one minute.

Roy is conflicted about this dilemma... what will he do?

Why, cling on to a technicality so we may go fight bern!

Poor Merlinus. Rest assured, this is not the last time he'll have to endure Roy's crap.

See, this is why Roy can't fight, haters 'round the globe: he wasn't learning fighting at Ostia, he was learnings tactics! That's why he's a good tactician, but not a good fighter!

Then again, it's supposed to be LP canon that I forced my ass into the army as a tactician, so...

"No buts! Take me with you, and you'll be very glad you did!"

Ah, memories...

So in the end, Roy gives in and accepts Elen's help. Healer!

Here's today's map, which I just made in five minutes, once again, manually. I could steal it from those FE6 LPs at lparchive.org, but I wouldn't feel cool about it, so I just wasted five minutes to make the exact same thing. I'm efficient!

Anyhow, this map isn't very hard. The game throws forts for you to use to have an easier time killing people.

Ruud, however, is really strong and defensible. Only through effective weaponery will we be able to put a real dent on his armor. If only Eliwood didn't force Lilina to wuss off...

Here are our latest new recruits.

- Merlinus is Merlinus, except in this game, he's useless. He doesn't need to be in the map for items to be sent to him, and he can't level up merely by surviving chapters. Instead, he needs to be hit a hundred times. Which is simply stupid.

- Elen is the worst, but earliest healer in the game. She's got a hilariously bad magic base, but a good growth, and a good speed base, but a hilariously bad growth. And luck. Loooots of luck. That's pretty much it.

Let's get to the action already, shall we? Thanks to the map, you guys can easily deduce I am attacking the Soldiers close to us. I just hope that great generic isn't one of these.

Doubt it. He would have dialogue.

That's it for the Soldiers.

If you can't tell, I'm not going to use Allen. I don't like him that much as a character, which means I usually don't bother with him, but don't purposedly avoid him for +10 runs like Rutger. I used him once, I believe.

This is how things stand. Marcus will Jeigan the enemy for us.

Also, yes, I did let the Soldier occupy the fort.

One of the enemies makes it to Bors, who shows him why he's the best Knight.

And suddenly, allies!

We're not very far. In fact, from a flying pegasus, she should already be seeing us. She'll probably just stop in her tracks and return to Dick...

...

Nope. She just leaves to stare at us for five hours while the axe siblings (not to be confused with the axe bros) ask Dick who's their employer, because apparently he refused to tell anyone before they were five minutes away from the rendezvous site.

What great mercenaries, these are.

With Lot, it's no sarcasm. This guy is probably the smartest axe Fighter you'll ever see.

Wade, on the other hand, is your typical axe Fighter.

Look, Shanna finally found us! She did it!

Hurrah, we have Dick!

- Dick is a weaker Marcus with workable growths. Most people will tell you he's amazing. I agree, but he's rather overrated. He falls off as well as Jeigan, although not to the point where he's unusable.

- Lot is an strange case. His offensive stats are mediocre, but he's tied with one of the Armor Knights for the highest non-Karel defense growth in the game, which is quite interesting. With any luck, he should become a highly defensible character with somewhat below average offensive stats.

- Wade is, unlike Lot, your typical Fighter. Strong, high HP (but not as high as Lot), pretty much nothing else.

- Shanna is extremely brittle, really weak, has no con, and her res isn't even very high. She has speed and that's it. She's okay for rescuing early on, but don't let her get close to the frontlines. Ever.

They'll get some action soon. For now, let's claim back the fort.

Merlinus does what he does best: what would be a waste of everyone else's turns.

This was made for Dick.

Bors defying the Weapon Triangle counter: 1

Lance's counter is at 0 and I personally doubt it'll go any further.

Those Fighters are screwed.

There we go. Wade dodged that blow to the head, by the way. He did well.

Kills for the worst Archer.

He does not disappoint.

And there goes the other one.

The eastern enemies have also started to move on us.

Bors fails to hit this guy. Of course, he's not at Weapon Triangle Disadvantage.

These two, on the other hand...

Finally. What a guy. Maybe he was the generic from the scene.

Nah, I don't want to think him dead. Let's just say he deserted, okay?

Elen heals and is then rescued by half of the army. And that's the turn.

Sorry, that wasn't the turn. There's shopping to be done. We buy one of each item available.

Bors defying the Weapon Triangle counter: 3

Yeah, that counts for two.

Dick isn't as epic and fails to dodge a 27% javelin.

He avenges himself quickly, though. Even though... that wasn't... the same... soldier...

Seriously, what's up with this? The supposedly bottom tier units are doing better than the others!

Defense is good.

I'd like to use the axe siblings, just because I doubt anybody's ever used them both at the same time, if at all. I doubt they'll reach Matthis' awesomeness, but then again, I don't think anybody will, ever.

No more enemies charging us. The remaining forces have assumed a defensive stance.

Can't have that, can we? Let's heal up and...

...go on the offensive!

Or, well, a sort of defensive-ish offensive. But an offensive nonetheless!

Baaaah, I shouldn't have thrown that javelin. Now Marcus got a kill.

At least we get to increase the counter. That makes 4.

That's it for the enemy phase. Time to defeat the fools that have dared approach us!

5. I know, I'm not counting the first chapter, but Bors didn't do this well in the first chapter. He always missed and had to try again, taking hit after hit. This time, though? He wanted no more of that.

These do good as well.

Hey, defense! Surprisingly enough!

We pull in a Soldier and... would you look at that, Lot one-rounds him! Excellent.

Excellent. I just want him to get defense 'til the end of days, but offensive stats are on high demand right now.

Next up is this Mercenary. He's speedy enough, but his iron blade weights him down, so he can't really double anybody.

Except... he doesn't attack, so I simply make Roy attack this Fighter twice. I didn't want to take two pictures that were the exact same thing, so I tried to capture the transition from map to battle. I failed miserably.

Down you go!

And NOW we lure in the Mercenary. Don't worry, Marcus doesn't double him.

Marcus, I'm not sure you should waste that thing on rabble like these guys...

Hush! I'm not so old that I need to retire! I destroyed all of Lord Eliwood's enemies, and I shall destroy all of Lord Roy's enemies! And then his son's enemies!

I don't doubt it, but unless you conserve it a little, the enemies of Roy's son will never see that silver lance of yours.

Nonsense! I've had this silver lance for 30 years and I'll have it for 30 more!

Not if you use it so wildly, you won't.

You want me to wildly use it on you?!

No, no, you keep doing your thing...

There we go! FOR PHERAE AND LYCIA!

...

Well, at least he's dead.

At least he's dead...

Also, these asshats? They aren't moving until you're inside both their ranges. That's actually rather impressive. Kudos to you, generics. If only your boss would move his ass off the Gate to help, you might be a little more successful in your tactics. But alas, Seize Emblem. Losing the gate automatically makes everybody suffer spontaneous combustion.

Gimme a 6 for Bors! And a -1 for Marcus. For shame, Jeigan, for shame. You're supposed to be invulnerable until we get to chapter 8.

Yeah, we didn't let the cheeky bastards do their tactics. We charged them head on instead.

Having his plans foiled hasn't dishearted the Archer, who attacks Marcus to try and avenge his friend.

He failed. And now he's going to die.

Well, he does need some more HP. But please, act accordingly to your growths and cap speed already.

There we go, he's on the ropes!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand there we go, I was wondering when this'd happen. See, when somebody is hit, for one frame the screen goes white. If you're playing, that's just noticeable enough to create the illusion of force in the blow. If you're screenshotting the game, it just means a chance to get nothing.

Let's just say, somebody killed the Archer. Whoever you were, good job.

Once the flashbangs fade, Roy realizes far too late that he's standing in Ruud's reach.

But he's got good reflexes.

So, Ruud. This guy is bullshit. Look at that! What am I supposed to do?

Give Dick the armorslayer, yes, but I forgot about him and am too lazy to move him up.

So...

How's your life, everybody?

I'm well enough. Got myself A Hat In Time thanks to the steam sales.

It's fine, but-- OMIGOSH finally!

Now, quickly, before he heals up!

C'mon!

Sigh at this point I was starting to lose my patience, real bad. How long 'til I fuck up in flying colours because of this?

And this didn't help.

Come on, come one, come ooooon...

Yeah yeah whatever.

Yes! He's almost dead! He's going to go down any second now...

...wait... the turn is over... and everyone used up their moves...

FUCK!

YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Fine. After that, you may miss all you want, Wade.

NOT YOU TOO!

DIE ALREADY! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Jesus Christ, I don't think old, slimy farts should be this strong...

Nice, these are both things you need.

For some reason, it was at this point that it occured to me that I never put rules in the OP like in my other LP. Might as well do it now.

- Someone dies, they stay dead.

- I only reset if Roy dies.

With any luck, they'll actually make it through in one piece this time. They're only two!

I buy another iron sword because Marcus' is almost broken.

And let's please leave already before the guy's 'stache comes to life and starts to kill us.

Yey, we saved the damisel in distress!

Niiiiiiiiiiice, so subtle Elen, so subtle.

This extremely mysterious noblewoman is nice to her subordinates. I wonder if that's a clue to her identity.

Well, no, it's thanks to Roy. And Elen for directing us to her, I suppose, but it's not like Roy wasn't avidly eyeing the enemy in hopes they did anything that so much as remotely resembled a provocation so he could just charge them.

"Your highness, I understand that you want to speak with the Lycian lords in order to try to find a peaceful end to the war. Here is a Lycian lord. Are you sure you want to reveal your identity and intentions to this Lycian lord?"

Doesn't Princess Guinivere look a lot like Nyna?

It seems so to me as well, indeed.

I already don't like her...

So, it's just been revealed that this woman before us is the sister of Zephiel. What is Roy to do?

Be pushed aside as Merlinus' starts to show his best Captain Ackbar impression to everybody, obviously.

...but what? Why does the fact that she's the sister of Zephiel inmediately bring you to the conclusion that this is a trap? She's alone! What, is she going to pull a dagger and stab Roy in the gutter?

Merlinus is angry because Roy didn't instantly slit Guinivere's throat open the very moment he started to scream TRAP, TRAP, TCHRAAAAAAPHHHH!

Ah, the Middle Ages of Anime were a difficult time indeed. The lack of IDs certainly makes this sort of thing more complicated than it should be.

Actually, Elen was the noble and Guinivere, the lady-in-waiting. They were doing role-reversal and other kinky things and then Ruud came in and they all just agreed to keep the façade up to keep the truth covered up.

I'm such a mature comedian, FUCK YEAH I turn myself on, that's how much I love myself.

(No, I actually don't, please understand the sarcasm)

This dialogue is very reasonable and down-to-earth. Which means I have no material to work with.

C'mon, say something stupid so I can laugh and make fun of you like an asshole! I have to hand it to him, Pretzel at least gave me plenty of material for insulting and critizising.

New readers, Pretzel was the avatar in my FE12 LP. Our relationship was... tense, to say the least.

Obviously, it isn't. Otherwise, she would have stopped him already!

Unless she does agree with him and my theory is true...

...

What's with the shudders, Wrys?

I'm not sure... it happened just when Lord Roy mentioned Lord Hector.

Bah. You probably just caught a cold. It tends to happen to old people.

COUGH!

...

What are you giving me that look for? I choked on my saliva for a second there, that's all!

...

...urgh...

And in that positive note, the chapter ends, as well as the update. Until next time, everyone, I fare you well.

Death count: --

Reset count: --

No fuck-ups streak: 2 chapters

Edited December 25, 2017 by Rubenio

[Dayni]

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Ho ho ho! Looks like I'm causing sensation!

Makes sense when you look right out of Goldeneye but in 2D. (I'll stop now)

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

VBA allows for slowing down the game. I usually use it to give myself some cool slowmo shots of bosses dying and the like.
Then I noticed they looked badass put together.

Eh, it's okay. I had fun making it manually. Thanks for telling me, though.

He's ill, remember. Although it can't be that bad. Illness or no, he still survived the whole game, and most importantly, he never does sneeze. It can't be an anime illness if they don't cough.

Honestly, if my half-assed sprite of Wrys becomes a meme, I'll be extremely happy.
Although, all these reactions were good enough for me not to regret simply stealing the Wrys sprite used in Arch's old "Exalted Legacy" hack. Besides the fact that it wouldn't be ethical.

Well, count me in if you do it. Axes-only playthrough sounds fun.

1. Alright, not something I usually think about doing as inexperienced as I am with using it for more than, well, playing games on it.
2. Clearly with the result. The faces are working out pretty well as well, though one is reminding me of Oboro's scary face. :P Much better than the applet I found, though that's more because the asset list on it is not as through as might be liked.
3. That is true. He's not hacking in any of his scenes, but he might be putting on a brave face in front of others. Never do see him on his own.
4. I'll get the images ready then maybe? :P
5. .... The poll setting it up is a from while back, and it should cover BB and BS. I've kind of been distracting myself from it, but I have made some progress.

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Nope! He actually has her well under control! That's rude, Ruud.

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/316/708/ca1.jpg

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Why, cling on to a technicality so we may go fight bern!

It's better than more bandits though.

Right?

Right?

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

"No buts! Take me with you, and you'll be very glad you did!"

Ah, memories...

Honestly, I like this. It fits, after all that's happened since NM.

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Oh hey that's a neat way to show the growths.

HP could stand to be better placed but I'm not certain where yet.

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Nah, I don't want to think him dead. Let's just say he deserted, okay?

....To become the generic soldier for the rest of the game?

I'll bite.

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

This thing taunts me.

It's happened a few times so far and every time it pisses me off.

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Be pushed aside as Merlinus' starts to show his best Captain Ackbar impression to everybody, obviously.

.....I could go into a rant as to why I actually hate BB Merlinus.

I won't, but I'll say it's this shit right here. All game. Joy.

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

No fuck-ups streak: 2 chapters

Should I take bets on how long, or is that inappropriate? Heyoh!

With that, Merry Christmas to you anyway.

[Franp3]

WHO IS THE INSECT THAT DARES AWAKE ME FROM MY ETERNAL -Oh damn a new Rubenio LP. That was way faster than expected.

 

On 22/12/2017 at 3:56 PM, Rubenio said:

Which shall never be explored in favour of showing how assholish they can get.

Come to think of it, the most we get to see of Etrurian culture is the tilesets they use for their palaces.

 

Insert comments about what Damas meant and Hostia's religious meaning that got deleted after seeing that they were unnecesary. Eh, it makes the reply slightly shorter I guess.

 

 

On 22/12/2017 at 3:56 PM, Rubenio said:

...Lilina has just been confirmed to be a better, more responsible ruler than Nyna. I'm dumbstruck.

 

To be fair, that is a REALLY low bar to pass. About ground level I'd say.

 

I'll jump on the "what the hell happened to Wrys' face" boat. He looks like he got slapped with a frying pan.

 

On 24/12/2017 at 8:41 PM, Rubenio said:

Geez, you don't have to be so... Rood.

Hey, I have to defend that title somehow.

On 24/12/2017 at 8:41 PM, Rubenio said:

Nope! He actually has her well under control! That's rude, Ruud.

DAMNIT!

 

On 24/12/2017 at 8:41 PM, Rubenio said:

Yeah, Merlinus is this game's "I spell out things we shouldn't do for you to do them and ignore my ass as I grumble" character. And Roy will do anything to ignore his advice, let me tell you. You'll see a good example in about one minute

Let me copypaste a comment I made on reddit the other day.

The plot of FE6 in a nutshell:
Merlinus: Milord no!
Roy: Milord yes.

 

On 24/12/2017 at 8:41 PM, Rubenio said:

What great mercenaries, these are.

One great mercenary. the rest are crap.

 

On 24/12/2017 at 8:41 PM, Rubenio said:

Nah, I don't want to think him dead. Let's just say he deserted, okay?

I request for generic soldier to appear in the Terrible Fanfic scenes.

[DestructionDragon360]

Wow, you're avatar is a nice piece of work! Almost makes me want to make my own avatar and do an LP.

Y'know, I feel like FE6 is that kind of game where everyone's growths are so low that it's anyone's game as to who'll be good and who'll be crap in a basket, because everyone's a crapshoot! You'd practically have to be Gonzales to have more than a coinflip chance of proccing a non-HP stat.

And it's as everyone's favorite villain Syndrome says, If everyone sucks, then nobody sucks.

[Saint Rubenio]

...

Is something the matter, Marcus? You seem rather distressed...

I have a good feeling about today.

...I don't like it. I always have bad feelings about everything.

Well, I think I'd best do well so this day can live up to your expectations!

...

...

I've never liked you. Not since you arrived at Pherae and Lord Eliwood decided to give you shelter from the rain. And how you managed to beguile him into letting you stay at the castle... only a slimy blackheart would've taken advantage of a sick person's kindness like that.

I doubt you even are a tactician at all. And one of these days, I will be proven correct.

What? How dare you! What makes you think so?

So far, our battles have been easy. And yet, you've managed to make a few grave errors already. Errors that could've costed good knights their lives. One of these days, it'll happen.

...

Frankly, the only reason I haven't thrown you out yet is old Wrys. The man seems determined to follow you around, and I would hate to force him to wander aimlessly again.

I don't understand what a good man like him sees in a scoundrel like you, Ruben.

Maybe I am better than you give me credit for...

I highly doubt it.

Oh, there you are! Lord Roy would like to see both of you, post-haste!

Has something happened?

It is a bit too much of a long story for my old bones to endure without sitting, and I am afraid we have no time to waste lying around.

Let us go, then.

Part 3 - The extremely drawn out death of a Knight.

One little detail I have to mention about the update: it is exceedingly long. I advise reading in various sessions so as not to remain five hours in a row looking at a screen. The next update will not come out in a couple days anyway.

On 25/12/2017 at 3:13 AM, Dayni said:

Makes sense when you look right out of Goldeneye but in 2D. (I'll stop now)

Nah, don't. Wrys doesn't mind, remember?

In all seriousness, I was at first going for a "same ol' Wrys" look, but I like how he ended up looking even older. Seriously, the facial features are more or less the same, he's just even more rickety. An unintended streak of creative genius, I suppose. Guess you don't have to be an artist to make art (case in point, Tommy Wiseau. Although, I don't think I want to be associated to that...).

1. Alright, not something I usually think about doing as inexperienced as I am with using it for more than, well, playing games on it.
It's not that hard, you just have to search through the "tools" menu. I think it's called "trottle". I binded it to shift + tab. It's really cool, it even slows down sound. Epic dodging of fatal hits has never been so epic!
2. Clearly with the result. The faces are working out pretty well as well, though one is reminding me of Oboro's scary face. :P Much better than the applet I found, though that's more because the asset list on it is not as through as might be liked.
Believe me, I had too much fun playing Frankenstein, using an applet wouldn't have been the same.
3. That is true. He's not hacking in any of his scenes, but he might be putting on a brave face in front of others. Never do see him on his own.
That... might be true, actually.
4. I'll get the images ready then maybe? :P
Sure.
5. .... The poll setting it up is a from while back, and it should cover BB and BS. I've kind of been distracting myself from it, but I have made some progress.
I see. Well, feel free to do some spam and send us your LP! I, for one, would like to see it.

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/316/708/ca1.jpg

Hah!

It's better than more bandits though.

Right?

Right?

It is, but for the love of God why did Ruud have to be so gosh darned annoying!?

Honestly, I like this. It fits, after all that's happened since NM.

Yeah... it may be a lame, incoherent self-insert fanfic I created as a joke, but I've grown fond of it and its shenanigans. Guess I'm either a writer in the making or an idiot. Place your bets?

Oh hey that's a neat way to show the growths.

HP could stand to be better placed but I'm not certain where yet.

I searched throughoutly and that's the best spot I could think of. It's staying there until somebody finds a better spot.

....To become the generic soldier for the rest of the game?

I'll bite.

Maybe.

This thing taunts me.

It's happened a few times so far and every time it pisses me off.

Indeed, my friend, indeed.

.....I could go into a rant as to why I actually hate BB Merlinus.

I won't, but I'll say it's this shit right here. All game. Joy.

I can just imagine him listening through the door going "it's quiet... TOO quiet!" and then bursting in screaming "BE CAREFUL, IT'S A TRAP! DON'T LET HER ESCAPE! YOW, IT'S AN ENEMY AMBUSH! LORD ROY! DO A BARREL ROLL!!".

Should I take bets on how long, or is that inappropriate? Heyoh!

Why is everybody so intent on thinking it's rude to bet how long I'll take to fuck up? Do it already, damnit!

With that, Merry Christmas to you anyway.

Merry Christmas (with a little delay, but eeeehhh I'm in time for new year's eve) to you as well, and to all the readers!

 

On 26/12/2017 at 4:01 AM, Franp3 said:

WHO IS THE INSECT THAT DARES AWAKE ME FROM MY ETERNAL -Oh damn a new Rubenio LP. That was way faster than expected.

Nice, I was waiting for you to pop up.

Come to think of it, the most we get to see of Etrurian culture is the tilesets they use for their palaces.

But what tilesets they are.

Insert comments about what Damas meant and Hostia's religious meaning that got deleted after seeing that they were unnecesary. Eh, it makes the reply slightly shorter I guess.

Which I don't like. I wanna read!

To be fair, that is a REALLY low bar to pass. About ground level I'd say.

More like sewer level.

I'll jump on the "what the hell happened to Wrys' face" boat. He looks like he got slapped with a frying pan.

I love this. So much.

My first impression after finishing the mug and taking a good look at it was actually "wow, he looks more like a character of Hotline Miami than he does a FE character". I kid you not.

Geez, you don't have to be so... Rood.

Hey, I have to defend that title somehow.

DAMNIT!

Got ya beat there, pal.

Let me copypaste a comment I made on reddit the other day.

The plot of FE6 in a nutshell:
Merlinus: Milord no!
Roy: Milord yes.

That's... an okay summary. At least when it comes to Merlinus and Roy's interactions.

One great mercenary. the rest are crap.

Debatable.

I request for generic soldier to appear in the Terrible Fanfic scenes.

Got ya beat there as well! Or, well, you could say I haven't since this update won't be pushed until after you posted this comment, but take my word for it, I started writing the update the 25th, so I got ya beat. Hah!

 

On 26/12/2017 at 10:32 AM, DestructionDragon360 said:

Wow, you're avatar is a nice piece of work! Almost makes me want to make my own avatar and do an LP.

Splicing is fun, or at least I found it to be fun. I'm no artist, as I've said enough times, so I suppose it'll have to do.

Y'know, I feel like FE6 is that kind of game where everyone's growths are so low that it's anyone's game as to who'll be good and who'll be crap in a basket, because everyone's a crapshoot! You'd practically have to be Gonzales to have more than a coinflip chance of proccing a non-HP stat.

Gonzales has some great growths, yeah, but very lopsided. The guy has a 15% skill growth! He never hits anybody!

And it's as everyone's favorite villain Syndrome says, If everyone sucks, then nobody sucks.

This right here is the reason I really like FE6. So many units to work with, no two playthroughs are the same.

Spoiler

Now that's a sound idea. "Let's neatly gather at this one place, Bern wouldn't be dishonorable enough to attack us while we're unprepared!"

Oh, goodness gracious! What could it be?

...fun facts about Bern? The shocking news Roy and the Princess of Bern could scarcely believe was Bern's autochthonous fauna?

Oh, and the fact that their army is led by Generals. Amazing. Either Guinivere is even worse of an oblivious idiot than Nyna, or there's something else.

Blistering barnacles! Who could've foreseen this?!

Once again, they weren't even trying to hide it for a minute.

We open to the BEST LORD EVAAAH having some trouble keeping his insides within his body. No edits here, this scene is, if I'm not mistaken, the one time in the FE series where blood was actually shown. Couldn't have happened to a more fitting character.

As well as the main antagonist! Who was not mentioned by the narrator. They deemed it necessary to point out Narcian's presence, but not Zephiel's?

Hey, he's not such a bad guy!

Aha, there we go, full asshole mode. To the guy who saved your ass, no less.

Or, in my few runs of FE7 that I can remember as more than "big mess of first runs where I was a noob and didn't understand anything", the guy who held his underleveled self back so Eliwood and the good units could save your ass.

Story promotions are a pain in the ass.

Ass.

Hmm... well, this is going nowhere.

They wanted to concentrate as much hate as they could in this one scene. And then do a 180 degree turn and focus on how hateable Narcian is. But not too much, they still needed space for the "Etrurians are the devil" story arc.

Well, at least they were consistent about it.

Hector tries to get some more information out of him, but Zephiel realizes it's not a very good idea to tell your plans to the enemy leader, dying or not, and has him imprisoned.

I don't believe he'll allow your opinion, Brunja. But still, do try futilely. Any screentime you get is good time.

He's gonna kill her, is he not? Or put her in shackles--

...oh. Well, he definitelly is nicer than he looks.

Or maybe he's just bipolar.

Comedy. I think it worked better in the old translation. He said something along the lines of "do you believe in me?". Definitely more ridiculous than "do you doubt my judgment?".

Outside, we see our heroes meeting with a kid who tells them Hector isn't pushing up daisies quite yet.

Grumble grumble...

Lord Merlinus, is something the matter?

It is MY job to tell Lord Roy his ideas are bad! Who does that whippersnapper think he is?

Indeed, these insolent young brats are out of control... we wise, strong adults should teach them a lesson!

What a delightful idea, Marcus!

f I may--

SHUT YOUR TRAP, RUBEN!

...

...why do I even try? Old timers are far too stubborn to deal with.

Preach.

Except for the fact that Zephiel decided to hastily withdraw all the promotees before leaving. One Paladin would've sufficed. At this stage, he'd have been more or less invincible!

Of course, Hector is important! We need Hector to fight Bern!

Yey, Thief!

This is another running theme in FE6: Roy trying to dissuade people from joining the army.

It's annoying, to say the least.

They sure will!

And with that tutorial, Chad leaves the spotlight, never to return unless I decide to get him some support convos.

We then cut to Guinivere feeling guilty about the massacre of the Lycian army.

Roy does have a point there.

This ain't gonna end well, is it?

Go! We save, uh, the best Lord... in my humble opinion second best Lord... from... one of my least favourite FEs...

...yeah...

Here's today's map, again done manually because I refuse to steal. It's not too hard a map, but better not get accustomed to that. This is pretty much the last of the early mercy maps. Everything from here is a steep, upwards slope.

You might've noticed the font for growths changes every day. Although, I think I'll settle for this one. For one, it actually allows for 100% HP growths without looking horrible. And it's easy on the eyes, so there's that.

Chad would be great if he could promote. His inability to promote more or less kills any potential he could've had. He's also made of wet tissue paper, which does not help his case. But if you give him some kills, he can be good. Just, not in this map. This map is really bad for him.

I'll never understand why GBA FEs always held on to the prep screen before giving it up. With it, I could've given Marcus his new sword inmediately, but as things stand, I am not going to waste Marcus' turn trading with Merlinus, and the Merchant himself has places to go, so the only solution is to have Lance give up his own sword. Not that he'll be needing it today.

Okay, first turn. Marcus goes up to visit the northern village, while the rest of the team approaches the castle. Sure, Merlinus isn't in a very good spot, but...

You did this in purpouse, didn't you, tactician? You sent Marcus away so he cannot defend me, and then threw me ahead of everyone to make me an easy prey!

Come now, Merlinus, don't be so callous...

Now hurry up and take hits for everyone else!

...

 

Marcus fights the enemies guarding the village, while Merlinus does what he's best at.

Dying! Since he never does truly die, it's best to use him as a sacrificial lamb, especially in these first chapters where he's forced.

Aaaand more dialogue!

Here's Lugh, and he totally doesn't look like a playable character.

The man overthere is Bishop, who's sure to be an important character to the plot.

And the young'uns are Lugh and Chad's friends from the orphanage. We'll be learning more about that.

Honestly, Lugh doesn't gain anything by lying like this to the children. Was it so hard to be forthright? It would be more painful at first, sure, but at least they won't spend the rest of the war wondering when you and Chad are going to come back.

Raigh's the best character in the game. Bite me! Go ahead, I shall defend my fanboyism with my life!

Shame we won't be hearing about him in ages.

It just hit me, me being me, there's a considerable chance Lugh might never make it back.

Jesus Christ.

Now I wish you did.

And so, the children live with Bishopman, never to be seen again. Which is good, actually.

Finally, some real action! Would you look at that. Wade is being useful!

Dangit!

Show him up, Lot!

Don't you worry, Wade. You'll get your chance to shine. I WANT you to get your chance to shine! Who knows, given the time and the kills, you might just turn out to be Elibe's Matthis!

I miss Matthis. I really do.

I could explain this for the new readers, but I elect not to. I wish to witness the delightful hilarity ensuing from them questioning why the hell anybody would miss Matthis of all people.

So let's instead take five years to kill one Archer.

Aaaugh...! Wolt! I want to use you!

The Javelin Soldier destroys Elen in one hit, and I'm not ready to lose my healer yet, so... unleash the rescue chain!

Meanwhile, up north, Marcus whips out the silver lance to clear up the area. We don't want too much heat surrounding the village when Lugh enters the fray.

Back with our boys, our boy and Allen confront the enemy with varying degrees of success.

Oh, crap, no... I know what happens next! And it's not good!

Defense... he might make it out yet!

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Why?! Why am I so bad that I defy my own low expectations!? I thought I'd at least last until chapter four! Chapter fooooooooooooooour!!!

Sigh there we go... although, at least it's only Roy... and we haven't lost any good level-ups...

...hmm... maybe we'll make it out okay yet.

Oooookay, we're back here.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Dear me, they almost killed Lady Elen! Ruben, I cannot tolerate this any long--

Holy Gods!

Heheh... you were saying?

...

You worry me sometimes, Ruben...

At least I don't worry you all the time like I do everybody else!

Heh, I suppose you can thank my senility for that.

Nonsense. You're just smarter than the others!

Oh, cease your flattering and concentrate on the battlefield, will you, my friend?

This time, Marcus is already using the silver lance. I've a little strategy in mind that requires this Soldier to be taken care of ASAP.

This happens again.

And now, Marcus'll wait in this forest. In retrospect, I probably would've benefited from just attacking the archer this turn.

What, were you expecting a witty rebuttal? There's none, I made a mistake and that's it.

What, you knew that already? Why, you...! Out of my thread!

...no wait, I like watching my views increase! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DON'T LEAVE MEEEE!

...

...okay, let's move on.

The tables are turned as Lot fails to properly chip down a Soldier, forcing Bors to help out so I can give the kill to Wolt, while Wade one-rounds the Javelin bastard who almost murdered my Cleric. Retribution, you dictatorial duck billed diplodocus!

Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy small victories...

...oh... according to google "ay" is an archaic form of saying "ever, always". I thought it'd be a pain grunt onomatopoeia like in spanish, but I guess I was wrong.

I've got to find a way to use that.

Merlinus dies again. Hey, you lasted one more turn this time, buddy!

And it's a good thing he was there to distract the enemy, because I don't think Wolt would've made it unscathered otherwise.

Jeigan and Ogma are attacked as well, but they cannot be defeated.

Yeah, thank Elimine for Merlinus, phew...

Elen fixes up Wolt, he's to valuable a unit to leave endangered like that.

Sheesh, lot, at least you killed him... it wasn't a complete failure of a skirmish.

Lance is even less successful than Lot. And then, a lot of miscelaneous fighting for which I cannot think anything witty to comment. So yeah. There you have it.

Up north, Marcus Jeigans this Archer. Next turn, we'll be recruiting Lugh, and I want this kill to be his. See what I meant when I said I could've saved a turn? But it is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. The result shall be the same.

And suddenly, OH MY GOD ZEPHIEL IS DEFENDING THE THRONE WE'RE SCREWED.

That's right! Get your asses out there and destroy the opposition!

Wait, why am I giving them advice?

Ah, good ol' Narcian. How this guy made it to Wyvern General is beyond me, and I believe pretty much everybody else.

But why was that the plan to begin with? Leave a dragon here! We don't have any effective weaponery yet! You could win right now!

Or, better yet, you could stay here and crush us yourself!

...this is what we think as players. But, to be entirely honest, I somewhat understand why they don't throw everything they have on us. I mean, all we have is a few knights and a small mercenary band. And all we've done thus far is killing a bunch of bandits and a small-time Bernian brigade. Heck, they don't even exactly know who we are! I can wrap my head around Narcian wanting to hog all the credit for finishing off a bunch of stragglers.

Quite honestly, I think this game's villains work well. Of course, Narcian's meant to be an incompetent, pretentious buffoon, but even then, it's not until later that his understimating of us gets quite illogical.

Anyhow, let's cease the ranting and pay attention to the character establishment that is going on. Look, Zeph is hateable!

And so is Narcian and his douchebag lauch!

Zephiel and Idun leave, and only Narcian and Nose there remain.

And as for Narcian, not for long.

Ah, here we go. If only you knew just what sort of girl she is, you wouldn't be laughing so much.

I wouldn't be. I absolutely despise the girl in question. Much like the guy who saves her sorry ass.

But before we proceed, how about we make Narcian even more hateable?

Come now, you ectoplasm! Was it so hard to leave it at the first line? Now the guy's definitely going to desert if he survives! Not that he will, but...

Finally! Let's get back to the gameplay...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Marcus takes some damage, but it is irrelevant. He doesn't have any healing items, but Lugh does.

And then GAAAH!

AAAAaaaahh...

Phew.

Well, he's got a ton of strength, at least. And he's working on his skill!

Heal up, people. I don't want any casualties.

And at last, we recruit our first Mage!

Lugh is a growth unit down to a T. His bases are God-awful, but his growths are pretty good for this game's standards. He's got a dangerously high chance of being mag-screwed, and his defense is terrible, but he'll be very speedy. He also has the decency of coming early.

Let's get him cooking steaks already, shall we?

The enemy phase isn't that interesting. Just Bors dodging everything like always. Even if he didn't need to. Lugh, though, did need to, but didn't.

I can't risk him taking another hit, and his vulnerary won't heal him enough to survive. THus, I have to waste the exp on Marcus. Please miss please miss please miss...

Of course. Unnnhh...

Jeiganlevel.jpg

Heal up, my friend. You'll get your chance later.

Back in the castle, we're still working our way inside.

Allen can't do anything, so he'll just go visit the second village.

I'm sorry for the update's length. But I want to keep on playing already, so if I have to be writing for five hours, you'll have to read for five hours.

...please don't leave the thread...

These Cavaliers represent the biggest threat to the team, Slater side. They'll be spawning all day, and while most people can take them on okay, people like Lugh better have a sturdy tank nearby to get behind.

But they'll take a while to arrive. For now, only a couple soldiers attack us.

And they're both dead now.

Eh...

I'm not sure you deserve this heal, but you may have it. I don't want your name to enter the death count yet.

By the way, little detail I just noticed... have you noticed his sprite's colours are reversed when compared to his portrait? He's got bluish green hair and green armor, but his sprite has green hair and bluish green armor.

Sigh what's with this blasted Soldier? Squawking popinjay!

One pair of Cavaliers has gone around the castle to attack Lugh and Marcus. I'd best figure out a strategy to protect our new Mage.

There we go. Marcus will wound one of the Cavs and get javelin'd by the other. Then Lugh will jump in and kill the sword Cavalier while Marcus Jeigans the javelin asshole. And the next turn, Lugh will finish him off.

But that's for next turn. They can't reach Marcus yet. Let's instead witness the Soldier finally faltering.

Bors! Your chin will only carry you so far! Get good levels already!

Finally!

The axe bors and Bros will take on the Cavaliers. Ahem, I mean the bors bros and Axe.

...

Let's just visit this village, shall we?

Nice! Elen's needing this, what with her awful magic and all.

So the Cavvies have finally reached Marc-- oh COME NOW!

Marcus STOP! That kill is supposed to be for L--

But what does it matter that Marcus or that kid finishes off the enemy?

Ergh... how do I explain this...

DANGIT!

In any case, look Lot got a good level.

Okay, this kill at least shall be for Lou.

But first, I've made the mistake of not giving Roy enough kills before, like that one time I beat the game without giving him a single level. Let's try not to reenact my last LP's Lord situation, shall we?

It's not astoundingly good, but it'll have to do.

Lot! Your skill is higher than Wade's! How can you let this happen?

Okay, turn over. Slowly but surely, we're making it through the keep.

Great success! We hit nobody and they hit us everytime!

Except for Wade. He got DOUBLED by the swordie Cavalier but somehow managed to dodge the first strike. Sure, he missed his own shot and then got hit the second time around, but still, great effort man. Not that you would've died either way, but it's still quite commendable.

Back in the player phase, it is tim to soften--

WHAT?!

NOT AGAIN, YOU OLD... poopyhead!

Enemy down! I figured it was worth a shot, and hey, everything came up roses!

That's another one down, although Wolt's numbers are starting to look dangerously low. If this keeps up, I might have to bench him.

Or keep on using him futilely until he goes down in a geyser of his own blood.

C'mon, we've almost made it to the second half of the castle!

And there are no more enemies in the vicinity to disturb our advance!

Oh my God, what's with the good Wade levels? He isn't supposed to be good!

Okay, okay, let's move...

...oh, my! A support convo! What better place to read it than NOW?!

Supports in this get often get a lot of hate, but I must say, there are quite a few gems hidden below the Wendies and Allens. Reading the reddit series "bonding blade" really helped open my eyes. Wade and Lot, in particular, is pretty nice. I recommend you all to read those threads. They do a better job than I ever could, even if I managed to use and keep alive every one of this game's hidden gems (which I probably won't).

These two have an interesting dynamic, in that Lot's the least fightish Fighter ever, while Wade's the fightest Fighter to have ever fought. Except for Bartre. Well, FE7!Bartre.

Hahahahah. I don't believe it.

Yeah, the support did just suddenly change gears from goofy to serious.

And then back to goofy!

There we go, now they're stronger.

Miscellanous shenanigans as we move forward...

Also this. A very Elen level, which does not help her case. HP! Defense! Speed!

We're getting there... I'll place Lugh there so he can be attacked by the javelin Cavalier, resulting in great EXP gains.

Crap, I forgot about this guy! Thank Kaga for forest tiles, phewww... how many mistakes have I made in this update? It's a good thing my luck's at an all-time high.

Also, Lugh does not double the Fighter. Those stinky bases do him no favours.

This happens, too.

But first, how about some good ol' parade of failure and misery?

Good thing Bors is here to save us from the embarrassment.

I'd like to give this kill to Wolt, but how?

Why, of course! By using Shanna!

At least she doesn't crit. Learn from her, Marcus!

...but only that. We don't want you learning TOO much from this useless prick.

The sword Cavvie is killed by Wade, because I totally meant to give Wolt the javelin Cavalier! Believe me!

By the way, what's up with Shanna's sprite after being dropped by Dieck? I'm just now noticing that... how weird. Maybe a leftover from a scrapped dismounting mechanic?

Well, it's not as impressive a discovery as last LP's "Horsemen can destroy villages all of sudden", but it'll have to do.

Anyhow, back to the LP at hand. The Figher's at last down!

Eh... I'd like some more speed, kid. You need speed to survive with your horrendous HP and defense.

All right! Wolt--

WOOOOOOOLT!!! Cease your missing everything at once!

Oh, no. I refuse. He's getting that kill, whether he likes it or not!

Dangit! The useless prick almost got the kill... you better not miss again, Wolt!

In the meantime, the newly supporting Fighters split up to take on the enemies ahead. Because that's what a smart tactician would do, right?

Finally! Jesus, for being an Archer, you have quite the trembling pulse.

Healing, failing, barely doing any damage, and both! What else can happen to this troupé of dumbasses?

At least we can use that to our advantage! Shanna would've killed the Fighter, but since she missed, the EXP didn't go to waste.

I stand corrected.

Finally! This guy took his sweet time to go down.

Even though they're not the same guys because Lot is down south and everyone else is at the throne room's entrace...

Let's leave it at, everybody's taking their sweet time to go down. I fear Slater. He's going to take ages!

While we're on the subject, let's speak of the man himself. Slater's Ruud. That's about it. Having a Mage makes things easier, but of course, Slater ruins Lugh's day if he's given the chance, so... really, he's just Ruud, but ruder.

Annoying Cavaliers! Let me finish this already!

Sadly, we'll have to wait to face him, for the Cavaliers have forced us to retreat.

Die already! All of you!

But especially you!

Bors does not need to dodge, but he still does because he's the best.

Elen rewards Lot for finally defeating the Armors defending the treasury. Chad'll get pillaging, post-haste!

I did say Bors is the best, did I not? Well... sometimes, he is.

Aaaaaaaaaaaargh stop missing, everybody! This is taking long enough as it is!

I can't even think of anything to say about this! It's just... this. Healing, and looting.

At least the axe bros are good for cheering up. Look at those stats! Lot is the fastest member of the team, while Wade is the strongest.

Finally, good God! We can finally start killing Slater!

Or, well, taking hits from him.

Oh, well, it was worth a shot. Bors is almost at a 100 EXP. I wanted to see if I could get him a level.

More of this, more of that...

OH CRAP! HE HAS A STEEL LANCE! I FORGOT!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURGHHHH!

...

...

...here we go again... Naga help us all...

Crab-apple! Technocrat! Miserable molecule of mildew! Blundering barbecued blister! Pithecanthropus! ASSHOLE!

We get it! Stop with the death shots!

DIE-- fuck.

FUCK!

Accursed FE6 thrones...

Yes! Yes!

Why are these Armor Knights so damn evasive... and why wasn't mine?!

He's a fatass! You are people trained to kill! How hard can it be to hit him!?

...

This still doesn't change the fact that Bors is dead. AAAAAAARGH!

This, on the other hand, helps me forget. Jesus Chirst, how am I getting such good axe bros? They're generaly regarded as some of the worst units in the game! Especially Wade! Keep it up, buddy.

...

Let's just move on.

Great! Maybe this'll be less grim than what happened at the throne...

...or maybe not...

Genial. Hurry up and die so I can--

Okay okay, this is a serious moment, I understand... best protagonist is dying... I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

LE SHOCK!

It would've been hilarious if Hector just died while Roy geeked out on him.

Now that's useful. History lessons, and "the faintest", which you don't even possess. Thanks, Hector.

Probably. To Bern!

Oh, okay then. To Ostia!

Just imagine, if Eliwood hadn't shooed her back to Ostia, she would've witnessed her father die. Eliwood made the right choice.

I've seen this scene about a million times, but the first time's always rough. Forgive me for being so casual.

And so, the great Lord of Blazing Sword draws his last breath. May he rest in piece.

...and Bors as well...

All right, finally! TO OSTIA!

Death count: Bors

Reset count: 1

Merlinus death count: 2

[deskita]

From that chapter I'm wondering whether there should be a close call count because wow there were a lot of character's that nearly died in that chapter. Also R.I.P Bors your level ups couldn't save you.

[Dayni]

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

It's not that hard, you just have to search through the "tools" menu. I think it's called "trottle". I binded it to shift + tab. It's really cool, it even slows down sound. Epic dodging of fatal hits has never been so epic!

Yeah... it may be a lame, incoherent self-insert fanfic I created as a joke, but I've grown fond of it and its shenanigans. Guess I'm either a writer in the making or an idiot. Place your bets?

I can just imagine him listening through the door going "it's quiet... TOO quiet!" and then bursting in screaming "BE CAREFUL, IT'S A TRAP! DON'T LET HER ESCAPE! YOW, IT'S AN ENEMY AMBUSH! LORD ROY! DO A BARREL ROLL!!".

Found it, trying to figure out how to keybind it right now, but regular VBA might not have that option. VBA-M does, so might just go for that if I can install it.

May be, but it does make sense why Wrys and Rube(n) are like that with each other though.

As for Merlinus, could see that. Sadly.

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Blistering barnacles! Who could've foreseen this?!

I think we're missing the idea that Narcian just sat there.

I don't know what Brunya did, but Narcian likely didn't do crap.

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Hmm... well, this is going nowhere.

Redoing your own jokes.

Like so many other LPs. Well, that's another tick.

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Preach.

.....I might just steal this. This seems like the ticket.

Watch this space.

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Well, I expect to see it often.

Irregardless of your talents, Roy is not what I'd call combat ready.

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

really, he's just Ruud, but ruder.

YOU MISSED JUST GOING "he's just Ruuder"

Augh, you have to push for such rude puns man.

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

...here we go again... Naga help us all...

Hopefully it does not cause seizures if it goes that far. (More continuity lockout)

Also, only 2 Merlinus deaths? THOSE ARE ROOKIE NUMBERS.

[KnightOfNohr]

Ah, the actually reasonable mook has made his second appearance. That makes him a reoccurring character, and therefore worthy of a name! I shall dub him...Sid the Soldier!

[Saint Rubenio]

HAH! Yes! I am a badaaass!

Don't party just yet. Lord Roy may have forgiven your mistakes, but I have not. I'll find the chance to get rid of you yet.

Yes, yes, you just keep on thinking that, okay, old-timer?

Rrgh...

How can you be so nonchalant about Sir Bors' death, Ruben?

I am not. Can't I, however, be happy for getting to keep my job?

I suppose you are right, but...

Hahah! Screw you two, oldies! I am winner!

...

...seriously, Wrys, why do you count such a cretin among your friends?

He's shown me what he's truly capable of. Those stories of him winning wars and saving the world? They are not entirely false...

...

...they are just half truths...

...

...well, quarter truths...

...

...ahem...

Part 4 - The law of Laus says to kidnap nobles at least once a year.

On 27/12/2017 at 6:22 PM, deskita said:

From that chapter I'm wondering whether there should be a close call count because wow there were a lot of character's that nearly died in that chapter. Also R.I.P Bors your level ups couldn't save you.

Too late for that, I'm not going back to count the close calls.

 

On 28/12/2017 at 2:01 AM, Dayni said:

Found it, trying to figure out how to keybind it right now, but regular VBA might not have that option. VBA-M does, so might just go for that if I can install it.

Good luck with that.

May be, but it does make sense why Wrys and Rube(n) are like that with each other though.

Reasonable. Why the (n), though? My name is Ruben. Did you forget?

As for Merlinus, could see that. Sadly.

Honestly, if Merlinus started to chain scream memes, I'd laugh my behind off. Too bad he usually settles for "it's a trap!".

I think we're missing the idea that Narcian just sat there.

I don't know what Brunya did, but Narcian likely didn't do crap.

Brunja is competent. I bet she and Zeph defeated Hector while Narcian gazed upon his reflection in a river, far away from the action.

If only he'd fallen in...

Redoing your own jokes.

Like so many other LPs. Well, that's another tick.

What do you mean, another tick? It's not my fault if Zephiel is a little deaf!

.....I might just steal this. This seems like the ticket.

Watch this space.

Marvelous.

Well, I expect to see it often.

Irregardless of your talents, Roy is not what I'd call combat ready.

Well, he is a 15 year old student going up against trained soldiers. Give him some leeway, will you?

YOU MISSED JUST GOING "he's just Ruuder"

Augh, you have to push for such rude puns man.

I think maybe we should let the guy rest in peace... it's rude to mock the dead.

Hopefully it does not cause seizures if it goes that far. (More continuity lockout)

Heh... let's hope!

Also, only 2 Merlinus deaths? THOSE ARE ROOKIE NUMBERS.

Look forward to today's events!

 

On 28/12/2017 at 8:35 AM, KnightOfNohr said:

Ah, the actually reasonable mook has made his second appearance. That makes him a reoccurring character, and therefore worthy of a name! I shall dub him...Sid the Soldier!

Not bad. Not bad at all.

Spoiler

Last time, Ostians died and sent us to take care of Lilina.

But first, we have to go through the Land of Trustworthy Eyebrows. Remember the guy's dad? Yeah...

Again with the subtlety? They were so quick to spoil the surprise, the title didn't even have time to do it, as the narration already had!

We begin with Narcian being a slimy scumbag as always.

Although, I have to admit, Erik's got a point here. Some traditions are no more than a burden, like our decrepit educational system.

Can you indulge yourself with her offscreen, please? I'd rather not see or hear her.

This makes no sense, though. Why doesn't Narcian go to her? Does Erik just like to watch?

You know what, how about we forget I ever said that? How do you like that plan?

This is Clarine, and she's awfully unlikeable.

She's perhaps the most self-absorbed, arrogant, presumptuous little shit in the entire series. Want proof? Just keep on reading.

This asshole in a position of power is threatening to rape her, and she laughs in his face.

And then she proceeds to insult him. Nice. Keep it up, girl, and you'll totally live long enough to see your brother again.

Now, any competent rapist in Narcian's position would break her skull and get to the fun stuff, but Narcian...

...gets triggered and completely forgets his foul intentions. That's right, boys and girls. Clarine survives this because Narcian is even more of a bumbling idiot than her.

But I'll admit, this is quite entertaining. Narcian just got out-assholed by a teenage bimbo. Joy.

And just when Narcian starts throwing a temper tantrum that could very well prove to be fatal to Clarine...

News of Slater's failure arrive!

Which forces Narcian to start acting like the high-ranking General he is. I can't say I feel bad for him.

A little too late, I would say.

Because we're already here.

This map is harder than the previous ones, but it's still no chapter 7. Mostly because the enemies don't attack the soon-to-pop-up NPC.

The stranded forts will be spawning Pirates later on, but other than that, there's not much of a reason to hurry up. Getting everyone out of the initial island is the most important part, for reasons that will be revealed later.

Also, this chapter is better than its FE7 version, because FE7 introduced the pointless, horrible rain gimmick that would never show up again in the series, as far as I know. For a game that supposedly does everything better than its predecessor, that wasn't a very well thought-out thing to add.

So here's the plan: everyone moves forward. Merlinus will visit the village, and then he'll join the rest in moving forward. You never know when you could use a sacrifical lamb.

Not much happens in the enemy phase, aside from a 1% crit. Handy! That'll speed things up.

Chad, hand over the true hero of this map to Lot: the halberd.

It may have a shoddy hit rate, but look at that damage! This thing murders every rider in the map except for Erik and the nomads, because FE6.

And that's another Cavalier down.

Marcus, it is time for you to wear down--

Don't you tell me what to do! I shall destroy the enemy! FOR LYCIA!

But the enemies are Lycians...

Treacherous dogs! They are not worthy of being considered true Lycians!

You got me there, I suppose...

Lance dabs at the Cavalier, who loses brain cells upon witnessing such a happening, opening the way for Roy to use his magic powers to turn him into milk.

Meanwhile, Merlinus enters the village and is gifted a key by a random kid.

What kind of key has a key that can open any door? The fact that Merlinus does not ask this question, followed by a "IT'S A TRAP!" cry and a punch to the kid's face, is baffling, to say the least.

Also, I did notice the hilarious typo, but left it in because it's hilarious. Comedy.

That done, Elen heals Wade up and is rescued to safety. Next turn, we'll take on the enemy.

But first... dear me, they didn't hold back with the luxuries for her Majestic Majesty, eh?

Churlish?

churlish

ˈtʃəːlɪʃ/

adjective

adjective: churlish

rude in a mean-spirited and surly way.

"it seems churlish to complain"

Ah, I see.

I wonder who fits that description, eh, Clarine?

Ruud, of course.

Don't worry. If this guy is anything like Navarre, he won't harm you.

And rest assured, this guy is a lot like Navarre.

Okay, let's kill people. It's a good thing the axe siblings are feeling like defying the RNG today.

Although, now that I think about it, that never does end well.

Bah, we'll worry about that when it becomes a problem. For now, we need to orphan some children.

And rescue chain Lugh and his puny bases out of harm's way.

That's it for the turn. These two shall die soon.

But not before pummeling Deke to near death. His offensive bases may be great, but 6 defense and 26 HP is nothing to write home about.

See? He may look, behave, and speak like a sociopath, but he's actually a good guy!

Actually, he's not a sociopath, he just has some really grave PTSD. The supports delve further into that. He's extremely edgy and unlikeable, but at least he's given a reason for it and some character development in his supports.

This makes him better than Navarre, who's a complete psychopath we're supposed to root for.

Nobody wondered why the edgy Myrmidon was preparing a horse by the back door?

Clarine's stupidity invalidated Rutger's edgy statement. Hey, at least there's something good to that!

And his own edgyness invalidated her absurd tomfoolery! Truly a match made in heaven.

Oh don't worry, I will escort you to your mansion! Maybe you won't arrive in one piece, but worry not, I'll make sure all the parts get there!

That was foul, I apologise.

It's your own fault! Why in the world would your Etrurian brother be here?! And how did you make it here to begin with!?

Sigh.

I finally noticed I was listing magic growths as "strength"! Hurray for me!

Clarine is better than Elen just thanks to her mount, but she's still horrible. She has more defense, but don't let that fool you, her HP is even lower, which puts her true durability at the same level as Elen's. Her horrendous magic growth ensures she'll never thrive as a combat unit, and her HP growth is even worse than Elen's. All in all, about the only things she has going for her are the horse Rutger gave her, and her great potential as a dodgetank. It's just, she gets hit, she's dead.

But enough about her. Time for these two to die.

Clarine isn't in any trouble, the enemies don't attack her. Good thing, too. It would be neigh impossible to save her otherwise.

Very interesting indeed, but... who are you speaking to? All the other Pirates stuffed inside that fort?

The Pirates start swimming towards the beach, but we've got a bigger menace on approach.

I forgot another good thing about her: she recruits herself, so Roy doesn't have to waste his turn talking to her.

Yeah, ten other people, in fact! The entire army, barring Lance (who's heading up towards the northern village), is here!

No.

I don't believe she can hear from from there...

I SAID NO! ROY! TELL HER TO PISS OFF!

Neither can he, it seems!

Doggone it...

What a little--

But fear not, for Merlinus is here to save the day!

Roy! Let the merchant talk! The one time I want him to scream at the top of his lungs...

Roy's calm, reasonable demeanor confuses Clarine, ever used to being treated like she's the second coming of Elimine.

I beg to differ. Also, overreacting or not, Merlinus does have a point here.

Let's take a minute to appreciate the fact that Clarine would've gotten away with demanding protection for free had she not started to randomly insult Merlinus instead of being polite like a decent human being.

I am suddenly so glad she's an idiot. Then again, if she wasn't, I wouldn't hate her to begin with. But if she wasn't an idiot, then she would get away with being a spoiled brat, which would mean I'd hate her.

...

PARADOOOOX let's keep going.

Roy won't let her imbecileness anger him, and keeps on acting cool and collected.

In the original translation, she lashed out at Roy for no reason at all. I don't know if that's more accurate to the original, but I'm honestly glad Gringe changed it to this.

Now we have a hateable healer! Let's celebrate by murdering this guy.

Roy! You need all the help you can get! You can't count on your promotion make you great!

But no matter. He can still cap every stat aside from res. You can do it, Roy! You're our boy after all!

Up north, Lance has finally made it to the village.

Darin gave you a sword, I assume, since he was the marquess two generations ago.

Steel blade, huh? If I'm not mistaken, this village had an iron blade. Guess Darin is just more generous than... whatever it was that got the guys from 20 years ago an iron blade. I don't usually read village dialogue, okay?

There we go. We'll be pulling the Cavalier there in the enemy phase, for easy pickings in the next player phase. And if Lot can hit him, all the better!

Oh shit!

For those who haven't played the game before, this is your warning to get the hell outta Dodge before Rutger comes out and crits everyone into oblivion.

It is, believe me. But I'm still not going to use him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But first, Lance is severely outclassed despite having WTA. He'll be fighting this guy for a while.

The Cavalier came to us, as expected (except he hit the wrong axe sibling, but eh, can't win 'em all I guess), as well as this guy I hadn't seen previously. What the hell? Not even Jeigan is a match to him! Marcus isn't supposed to fall off until the Western Isles!

Eh. Worth a shot.

Worth a shot!

Whatever, let's worry about that after stabbing this pirate's arm real bad.

I sent Elen down to buy a few heal staves, as well as a couple fire tomes. We won't be seeing a store in a few chapters, so it's best to be prepared!

It was at about this point that it occured to me that Rutger would come out real soon, and both axe siblings were dangerously close to the castle.

...

EMERGENCY MANEUVERS!

And to make matters worse, this guy is freakin' OP! He has 10 speed. He doubles half my army! How?!

Whatever, let's worry about that after visiting this person.

Nice story, but those guys were listed as "Laus" men. It's a sad day when I pay more attention to detail than the developers of the game.

Still, the house will give Lance some more dodge, which he can definitely use. That enemy Cavalier may just be one guy, but all my weaklings are back there, so I cannot afford to get flanked like that. Defend the rear, brave Lance!

And now, let's get to destroying these dastardly Cavaliers.

That's one guy down. Good work, Milord and friends.

Some rescue shenanigans later, we're still screwed. That guy can kill both Wolt and Lugh. But he's obviously going to kill Merlinus, right?

But first, OH CRAP I THINK RUTGER CAN REACH WOLT!

Awww, thank God for GBA FE low move... one more, and he'd already be pushing up--

...

...daisies.

You know what? He could've gone for Lugh. We won't be getting another Mage in ages. But we'll be getting plenty of Archers before the first enemy fliers start to show up. And Wolt just wasn't working.

It wasn't as impactful a death to me as Bors', but it still sucks. My death counter! And so soon, too!

Lance continues his epic duel with this Cavalier. He's losing. Better heal him up, post-haste!

...well. We're still in a pretty awkward situation.

At least we can recruit Rutger. That's one less enemy to worry about.

Now, I don't really like Rutger, but I like him better than the spoiled bimbo, so this exchange...

...feels quite satisfying.

Oh, really?

I'm glad, I don't want to face him. He doubles my entire army! Accursed HM bonuses... why did you skip my favourite friggin' character!? He's more of an enemy unit than Milady ever was! But I digress. We'll get to that eventually.

He's right, you know.

Ah, here we go. Clarine's dumbest line yet.

Rutger can't even muster up the edge to reply in an edgy manner befitting of one such as him, that's how baffling her stupidity is.

Luckily, however, Rutger hates Bern, making joining our army the best course of action for him.

This raises the question of why he was working for Erik to begin with, but eh, details.

"Our leader, Floyd or whatever", OHH Good Lord, ROY IS NOT A HARD NAME TO REMEMBER! IT'S LITERALLY ONE SYLLABLE!

So we've got Rutger. Hurray.

Shut your trap, dumbass! He's already in our team! We don't need you to talk any longer!

Look at those bases. Rutger might just be the best unit in the entire game. His bases are great, his growths are good (even his strength isn't that low for a Myrmidon)... all of that makes him an incredibly boring unit to use, in my humble opinion. You just can't go wrong with him.

We're not going to use him. Mark my words. He's never going to see combat.

That taken care of, it's time to fail to kill this guy. Again.

Not even Marcus with a silver lance is a match to this guy. I am dumbstruck.

Let's kill this Fighter instead, shall

AHA SURPRFFWAACK Dangit! We failed again!

Can't forget about Lance either. Good thing he had a vulnerary lying around in his satchel.

Okay, this time, there's no chance this asshat can kill anyone but Merlinus. I think.

Or Shanna, but who cares about Shanna.

I haven't said much about what's going own at the southern beach. That's mainly because... there's not much to say about that. It's not very interesting.

Come now! What happened to all your lucky hits, Lot?

This is still going on.

Merlinus died again.

This one Cavalier has a higher kill count than any other enemy so far, as well as half the army.

He needs to go down. Fast. Before he obliterates someone important.

Also, notice that little handful of red pixels on the lower left corner of the last shot? Yeah, more people. But this one isn't as legendarily powerful as the other one. He's already on the ropes.

This is the most irrelevant thing that happens this turn.

HECK YEAH! Finally! He may've been amazing, but he still stood no chance against FE6's x3 effective damage multiplier!

More defense! Mooooooooooooooooooore! I want a 6 move General! Those skill and luck gains are also great. In any other game they might as well not exist, but this is FE6. Accuracy is badly needed here.

Okay, home stretch now, I think. None of the remaining enemies are going to be as much of a wondrous threat as that guy was, that's for sure. Jeez.

Well, up north, that is. Down at the coast, Pirates are still popping out of the forts.

Lugh may not be the best tank around, but against one lone Pirate, he'll do the job. Elen just barely gets one-shot, though, so I'd best get her out of there.

This Archer's been throughoutly useless. Let's make the so called worst axe user in the game kill him, shall we?

Both things he really needs. Wade's not as impressive as Lot, but he's still pretty good, and together, they're a living nightmare to the enemy team.

Sadly enough, we don't have anybody else available, and I'd rather not risk leaving the Fighter alive, so...

Marcus, you may have at him.

Finally!

FOR PHERAE AND LYCIA!

Lance drinks the last drops of his vulnerary. It should be enough for the remainder of his duel.

I was worried there for a second, but it's okay. This guy is very close to reaching both my healers, but can't quite make it.

This stuff is just routine at this point. Although, I'd like to point out that Lance and his sparring buddy just wasted a turn by both missing one another. Joy.

Predictably, the last Cavalier goes after the one guy he can significantly damage. He gets healed inmediately afterwards, but still. Good effort.

And now he's down. But not before making a fool of Lot, of course.

Chad finally got a level!

It's... really bad for Chad's standards, considering he has an 80% speed growth. But I wasn't planning on using him anyways.

At this point, I'm just waiting the chapter's biggest surprise out.

While Lance keeps on trading blows with the Cavalier.

I'm actually going to make him retreat a little. The guy's almost dead, the rest of my army is now unoccupied in case things go south, and I want him closer to the action that's about to take place.

But first, the reason I'm not using Dick.

EXP for Lugh. I'll try to get him a level from these pirates.

C'mon, spawn already, bullshit unexpected reinforcements. I'm bored!

Look, something exciting! Lance finally defeated the Cavalier he's been fighting all chapter.

Nice. That's pretty good. I'm still not sure I'll use you (that defense is awful), but this is sure to come in handy in the next few chapters.

More boring Pirate fighting. I've nothing to say. Just look at it.

Also, guess who's probably not going to be used?

Shanna, of course.

Christmas healing! Fitting.

Ah, there we go. The bullshit reinforcements of chapter 4, FE6. I hope you didn't leave any of those useless scrubs the game forces you to deploy behind!

Gee, she finally got a kill! Waste of EXP...

...in retrospect, I might benefit from using her, actually. A support triangle with the axe siblings would be quite amazing.

Although, Dick can do that too. But Dick is too popular for the man who used Matthis, Tomas, etc.

Why is it that Lot and Wade have been hitting 50~% hitrates, but fail to land an almost 70%?

In any case, they'll take on the cavaliers on their own. I'm sure they'll be all right.

But first, more God damned Pirate fighting. That's a neat shot of Dick's sword.

If I were competent, I would skip all this crap. You know what? I think I'll do that. No more Pirate fighting for the remainder of the chapter.

Up at the bridges, Wade and Lot are destroying the surprise reinforcements.

I intend to give the javelin Cavalier kill to Wade, so he gets to live another turn.

I'm no longer showing it, but rest assured, Pirate fighting is still happening.

Case in point. He can still cap every stat except for defense and res!

There we go, no more Cavvies. Time to head to the castle.

Ergh, some time later, after the offscreen Pirate fighting.

The last of the pirates will be killed by the superior axe users. I'll show this one because, hey, we haven't seen axe versus axe yet!

The world's most durable Archer is chipped down by the Pear riders, for...

...the world's weakest Mage to claim the EXP.

Meanwhile, back here, this guy made the grave mistake of moving out of the forest.

There we go! Too much of a Wade level for my liking, but it's fine, you've gotten enough speed to last you a chapter or two.

And with that, the map's clean. Only Erik is left.

Erik's a step up from the bosses we've been fighting thus far, but we're also stronger and have a Mage now, so it balances out. In our favour, much to old Erik's dismay.

Not from there you won't.

Worth-- nah, actually, you know what? That was not worth a shot. I could've used Marcus to get him to switch to his javelin.

...the one time I say it was not worth a shot, and it actually lands. Huh. Maybe I should be pessimistic more often.

Skill's good, but what about the defense?

Well, I suppose Lugh may have the kill then.

There. Make good use of it.

Ah, not bad, actually! We may get something out of you yet.

But first, before I forget, let's visit the last village.

Amazing!

And after some shopping (one of each weapon, two axes, two handaxes and a javelin), we finish the chapter.

Hey, that wasn't half bad, except for the part where we lost Wolt. But it's okay. He was the worst Wolt I'd ever had anyway.

Because that's never happened before. Has Eliwood never told you about what happened 20 years ago?

Oh, that's right, it hadn't happened yet by the time this game was made.

I can just imagine Roy shaking his fist towards the sky while saying this.

Then reality sets in and Roy realises the princess of Bern is right next to him. Thankfully, she agrees.

How long 'til he forgets this valuable lesson?

Spoiler

2 chapters. Although, he does handle that situation quite well. And it's not quite the same deal.

Roy is, once more, quite reasonable, giving me nothing to laugh at.

It's a good thing nobody's sent any dragons our way yet, eh?

It obviously means liberate the world from the grip of tyrannical rules and corrupt bastards. Only he, Zephiel, the epitome of kindness, is fit to rule!

The road to hell is paved with good intentions, as they say.

And so, the chapter is over.

I think we did quite well today!

Little prick-- young Wolt is dead!

He was Lord Roy's childhood friend! He will be devastated when he finds out...

I don't think he'll be quite as merciful this time around.

...well, you see...

Maybe he'll allow me to execute you in the spot!

Wrys, say something!

I cannot think of anything...

Let us go, Marcus. In any case, somebody needs to tell Lord Roy.

Of course, Merlinus. Enjoy your last moments, tactician!

Okay, this time, we're definitely going back to the boat.

Calm down, Ruben! We have not lost our heads yet, have we now?

It's easy for you to say that! They'll never behead a frail, kind old man like you!

Ho ho ho! Come now! They didn't throw you out after you raided Lord Eliwood's dresser, after all.

That is not the same thing! He never did use these stylish garbments!

This is war, Ruben. You know that, and so do they. They may be saddened by Wolt's untimely end. I know I am! But matter of fact is, we have won the battle. They cannot punish you so harshly for losing one man.

You are right, I suppose...

I just hope the grief doesn't completely blind them...

Death count: Bors
                        Wolt

Reset count: 1

Merlinus death count: 3

 

[KnightOfNohr]

I agree; the public school system is somewhat messed up.

It’s a good thing I’m Homeschooled!

(By the way, it’s “an ‘It’s A Trap Moment’l, not “a ‘It’s A Trap Moment’”)

[Dayni]

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

...well, quarter truths...

I wouldn't sell it too short. It's not like everyone died.

Least, not in the end.

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Reasonable. Why the (n), though? My name is Ruben. Did you forget?

See, rube's a word in the English language. I was trying to make a joke, but it obviously doesn't work here partly because I can't really link the meaning to something in the thread. Not yet at least.

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

What do you mean, another tick? It's not my fault if Zephiel is a little deaf!

Like ticking a checklist. Another one for the LP in general.

I really need to not reply when it's late. Those last two commonets of mine were pretty bad.

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

But I'll admit, this is quite entertaining. Narcian just got out-assholed by a teenage bimbo. Joy.

This scene is a personal favourite. I mean, it reaffirms why I think Narcian is too dumb to be halfway decent, but still, some teen just leaves him so hurt in such a short time.

I really don't kill him with her often enough.

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

It would be neigh impossible to save her otherwise.

Again, oh you.

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

I almost expect him to be some wraith by the end of the game.

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

And to make matters worse, this guy is freakin' OP! He has 10 speed. He doubles half my army! How?!

What the actual hell with that cavalier?

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

...in retrospect, I might benefit from using her, actually. A support triangle with the axe siblings would be quite amazing.

Although, Dick can do that too. But Dick is too popular for the man who used Matthis, Tomas, etc.

Well, Dieck's not as popular as he once was, and a support square could be useful.

Also, at least your losses haven't been substantial so far. Just more Merlinus death and two subpar units who are easily replaced.

[deskita]

8 hours ago, Rubenio said:

This one Cavalier has a higher kill count than any other enemy so far, as well as half the army.

He needs to go down. Fast. Before he obliterates someone important.

Imagine if he had been given a knights crest before the battle, that would be terrifying.

8 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Nice story, but those guys were listed as "Laus" men. It's a sad day when I pay more attention to detail than the developers of the game.

Perhaps that only indicates what army they're a part of. Or maybe it was a mistake.

8 hours ago, Rubenio said:

You know what? He could've gone for Lugh. We won't be getting another Mage in ages. But we'll be getting plenty of Archers before the first enemy fliers start to show up. And Wolt just wasn't working.

Well R.I.P Wolt, here's hoping the Nomads + Dorothy and Klein fare better.

[DestructionDragon360]

Oh dang, I hope we get to learn our mystery murdersoldier's name soon! The sprite of him as a cavalier looked very nice!

Also, loving how the axe bros are turning out! I never had the patience to invest in them with their awful hitrates in my run of FE6.

[Saint Rubenio]

Jesus fuckin' Christ, Imgur is the worst. I've tried to upload this update's screencaps about 15 times and every single time, the site screws up the order and refuses to do what I tell it to do.

Can anyone recommend me another site? I've tried Flickr and Google Photos, but I couldn't figure out a way to upload all the images directly to an album or separate folder for convenient access like in Imgur. Both sites, unless I missed something, required me to upload all the pictures to my profile and then painstakingly put them manually in an album.

That's all I need. I don't care if the site has no community, or if the community sucks, or if the design is ugly, or anything like that: the only thing I seek is the ability to upload my updates without it taking days because it won't feel like it.

Until then, the LP's basically going on the world's most ridiculous (and, hopefully, shortest) hiatus, because Imgur just died on me for this last update and I don't feel like wasting any more time with it. No kidding, I lost count, but it's easily up to 20 failed attempts to use Imgur's most basic function.

EDIT: So I think I've found a good site. With any luck, I should have the update ready soon enough.

EDIT 2: Happy new year to everybody. I almost forgot in my rage.

Edited December 31, 2017 by Rubenio