screenshot Let's make world conquest easier for Zephiel - Let's play Ironman Fire Emblem 6, without skills!

[Saint Rubenio]

Well, I think that went well enough.

Yeah... Lord Roy was forgiving. I'm glad for that.

That said, I think you should be more careful from now on. Our ragtag group will break apart if you keep on destroying everything that keeps it together.

Come now, I'm just warming up! I'll stop doing so badly very soon.

...so you have been "warming up" since the last war? I find that hard to believe.

Wrys, if not even you believe in me, then who will?

Relax, I'm just teasing you. You can do it. Ergh, in some way...

Heh. Thanks, Wrys. I knew I could count on you.

Now, I think we could use another healer right about now... do you think y--

No.

...

Sorry, kiddo. I am still building my power back up. All that misuse in the last war drained it all!

Eh, understandable, I suppose.

...phew...

Sorry?

My old bones are just tired from all this climbing.

Ah, of course. That, too, is understandable.

...

Part 5 - Marcus is an Oifey.

Just my luck. As soon as I make a rage post announcing a hiatus, I finally get Imgur working. It still doesn't excuse the fact that it took me almost twenty attempts, but at least I think I've found a way to make it work more consistently from now on.

Either that or I just lucked out. Fingers crossed the first option is true. But just in case, do recommend me a backup image hosting site.

On 29/12/2017 at 4:18 PM, KnightOfNohr said:

I agree; the public school system is somewhat messed up.

It’s a good thing I’m Homeschooled!

Lucky little prick.

(By the way, it’s “an ‘It’s A Trap Moment’l, not “a ‘It’s A Trap Moment’”)

Dangit! Thanks for the tip.

 

On 29/12/2017 at 5:00 PM, Dayni said:

I wouldn't sell it too short. It's not like everyone died.

Hey, you're right. All things considered, I managed to keep quite a few regulars.

Least, not in the end.

Hush, you were doing so well until now!

See, rube's a word in the English language. I was trying to make a joke, but it obviously doesn't work here partly because I can't really link the meaning to something in the thread. Not yet at least.

If google is not mistaken, it's an insult. There are plenty of instances where you could insult me. The only reason it didn't work is because I had never heard of that word until now.

Like ticking a checklist. Another one for the LP in general.

Yeah, I gotcha. I was just going along with the joke, pretending to be mad, you see?

I really need to not reply when it's late. Those last two commonets of mine were pretty bad.

Not really, no. You just misinterpreted my replies to your replies.

Also, could you please tell me what is a commonet?

This scene is a personal favourite. I mean, it reaffirms why I think Narcian is too dumb to be halfway decent, but still, some teen just leaves him so hurt in such a short time.

I like it too, but it would be more satisfying if Clarine herself wasn't almost as hateable as him.

I really don't kill him with her often enough.

With her magic growth? I'd be surprised if an aircalibur-toting Clarine dealt double-digit damage to him.

Again, oh you.

Hey, it's the truth!

I almost expect him to be some wraith by the end of the game.

Maybe...

What the actual hell with that cavalier?

Stat-wise? I have no idea. But at least he gave me the perfect oportunity to continue Great Soldier's sub plot.

Well, Dieck's not as popular as he once was, and a support square could be useful.

I suppose...

Also, at least your losses haven't been substantial so far. Just more Merlinus death and two subpar units who are easily replaced.

Yeah... BY FRIGGIN' WENDY. Who I already intended to train. Or at least try to.

 

On 29/12/2017 at 10:28 PM, deskita said:

Imagine if he had been given a knights crest before the battle, that would be terrifying.

We would've lost.

Perhaps that only indicates what army they're a part of. Or maybe it was a mistake.

Eh, that makes sense. Let's just go with that.

Well R.I.P Wolt, here's hoping the Nomads + Dorothy and Klein fare better.

You're forgetting someone. And I can't see how, your gender is supposed to be "male", isn't it?

 

On 30/12/2017 at 7:29 AM, DestructionDragon360 said:

Oh dang, I hope we get to learn our mystery murdersoldier's name soon! The sprite of him as a cavalier looked very nice!

Thanks! It helped that the Cavalier sprite is more or less a soldier without the helmet on a horse. I just replaced the head.

Also, loving how the axe bros are turning out! I never had the patience to invest in them with their awful hitrates in my run of FE6.

Understandable. But I think you know the sort of units I like to use.

Spoiler

Here we go! Finally, Imgur did what it's supposed to! With a start like that, one can only expect much blood and tears to be spilt.

Starting right now! Marquess Laus? Who is that?

There you go. Fixed.

(Yes, I know, it's valid. Let me do my stupid comedy in peace, will you?)

Nice. This early on, that can only mean one thing: Bandit Chapter™.

...with a title namedrop for some friggin' reason!

Here's Dory. He's a very generic bandit boss.

That's us!

How dare you?! I have only lost two people!

Heheh. I wish... I wish he were mistaken.

I just love the passing comment. "Still, don't get careless. NOW LET'S GO UNDERSTIMATE THEM!".

We take the spotlight as Merlinus announces a villager who wishes to speak to Roy... and then tries to prevent him from speaking to Roy.

Great Scott, that's awful! Let's go.

What more can he possibly tell you, Roy? Bandits terrorizing village! Bandits that, by the way, are moving to attack us this instant! Let's gooo...?

But, sure, let's ask these useless questions. Can't it wait until after the battle, Roy? They are about to attack us!

Watch this, Merlinus is going to butt in in 3... 2...

1-- God dangit, Merlinus was faster than I!

Pffft. "You're joking! These people are meaningless in the grand scheme of things!".

No. Why would I want to face the boss while being harrassed by other 30 mooks? It'll be hard enough to fight him alone!

I don't know, but you certainly were more energetic 20 years ago. Maybe not in a very good way, but...

Here's today's map. You can either go through the gate and face the 15 units (because to add insult to injury, a bunch of enemies storm out of the castle when the gate is opened), or play this like an ordinary map and just go around the mountain. That's what we'll be doing.

Before we move ahead, let's do some trading shenanigans now that Merlinus is still alive. First, axes for Lot.

And a support, we could use some more power.

This is giving me flashbacks to the Archanea Chronicles. "Princess Nyna, are you well?" "Camus, are you well?" "Bishop Boah, how are you feeling?"

Urgh.

This gets better, though.

Because, in a bombshel of a character revelation, Lot's reason for going to war is no more.

And that's exactly what you should've done!

But I'm glad you didn't. You're my best unit!

Now that's some dedication.

Say what you will about FE6's cast, but... this is pretty good.

There we go. B support.

Let us resume the trading. I'm not sure whether or not I'll try to use Shanna (not likely), but I still arm her. Lance grabs an iron sword, and Dick takes Rutger's sword, since the man won't be needing it.

This happens, too.

And there we go! Let us hope for the best.

Easy enough.

Suddenly, even more dialogue!

That guy looks important!

In case you forgot, Dorothy, you're an Archer. You guys don't excel for your tanking abilities, exactly.

Here is Saul. He is the worst Priest ever, and a major scoundrel. I like him. Something about how his face is nothing like Sain's or Gatrie's. They look like bumbling idiots. This guy looks like the creepy stalker he is.

Also, you are wrong my friend. Sermons are not calming, they're boring. Big difference.

But fret not, young lady. Dorothy is here to break the mood and rain in Saul's parade!

That "wonderful" line? Amazing. I can just read the sarcasm. Sid the Great Soldier would be proud.

Well, I mean, the fact that she lacks eyebrows is rather unsettling.

That's because it is, my man.

Hahahahahahah. This right there is the reason I like Saul. Guys like Sain or Luke are dumbasses, but they do mean well in the end. Saul, on the other hand, is an irredeemable asshole who knows he is an irredeemable asshole.

You may fool Dorothy, but not me.

Really, the only bad thing about Saul is that Wrys technically doesn't exist in this game, which means he cannot be taught the lesson Luke learnt the hard way.

Don't be ridi--

...

Please. I want to play already!

And so, they leave to meet us.

...ergh... somewhere...?

Bah, whatever, let's forget about them until they become important again. Instead, take a look at Shanna hitting an 18% javelin throw... for 2 damage.

Dang!

Bollocks!

Blistering barnacles, can noone hit this guy? He's the first mook we've encountered today! We can't be failing this badly already!

I don't want Lot of all people to die, so Allen moves Shanna out of the way for Elen to do her thing. She better start getting some stats soon. Her days are numbered with Saul about to join.

As much as it pains me, Dick shall claim this kill.

The fort is open for grabs, but that shouldn't be too much of a setback.

Wade got doubled by the Mercenary. Thank God for the fort.

There we go, almost as if he never did get hit.

Doggone it, not again!

Wade just defeated a Mercenary who doubled him faster than everyone else beat the Fighter. Thank God for the forts, amirite?

Augh... Chad, maybe?

Okay, fine!

Take the blasted experience!

Now let's make sure that doesn't happen again. Roy, you're up!

Healing.

As well as rescuing. I refuse to take any chances.

We're attacked once again, but without the forts, these Fighters are no match to us.

Well, they are a bit of a match, but not too dangerous!

Neat.

Damn it, FE6! Stop doing this to me! That chance isn't even low!

It's a good thing Lugh is there. Don't you just hate when this happens? 99 EXP should be a level up.

Then again, if that was the case, we would complain about getting 98 experience, not quite getting a level. But still, it would mean one less turn for Merlinus to get stats. And considering it takes him 100 turns, he badly needs all the help he can get.

The opposing forces focus on Roy in the enemy phase, but the fort and his WTA make all of their attempts on his life futile.

These two Nomads are far more successful. But they've come too close. Much closer than an Archer should ever get to their enemies.

I've never understood why effective weaponery doesn't affect Nomads and Troubadours in this game. It's quite stupid. This, I cannot defend.

The axe siblings and Jeigan team up to kill one of the nomads and wound the other one, setting the stage for Lugh to--

Fail. For Lugh to fail.

Well, at least he won't be doing much from there.

Roy summons his huge sickle to kill the Fighter. However, he still has no strength to speak of, and can't quite deliver the killing blow. Somebody else shall.

And now, to make sure nobody dies this turn.

Nice! Pretty good. Keep the magic and speed coming, Lugh.

The healers are released, and that's another turn over.

Roy ditches the sickle and pulls out his scimitar, vaporizing the Fighter.

Merlinus does what he is best at, ensuring the important people don't have axes thrown at them

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH How did I not notice that?! Damnit all to hell!

Okay, never mind, we're all in one piece still. Let's make sure that never happens again, shall we?

There we go...?

Okay, one out of two. Not bad, this being FE6. I'm more worried about the Brigands right now, as they're about to reach us at last. Best make sure no mortal remains in their range.

Nice! Good--

Job.

Finally, this guy's dead. Rejoice, everybody!

As well as this one.

Let's stop for a minute and send the actually good units to face the remaining Brigands.

Hey, now she has as much magic as Saul will when he joins!

He'll also have two less levels, but ehhh.

That's the turn. We'll take care of the Brigands and then move forward.

I'm sorry, I'm trying to make this interesting, but this part is really boring. Or at least, that's how I feel about it.

Look, Shanna is doing something! Failing miserably at it, but hey! Good effort! You did it, girl!

Here, have some healing from the worst person ever, just for you!

And so, the Brigands' mountaneering comes to a bloody end.

Rutger and Allen will do about the only thing they can in their state of neglect: make sure the actual good guys don't get sandwiched. Any second now, all the forts in the map will start spawning Brigands, and they will be for a crapton of turns.

The healers are working to get everyone back to fighting condition as we move forward. Chad rushes forward and goes into the village. Hey, maybe we'll get to recruit the important-looking old Bishop guy! After all, in FE11 they gave us one quite early.

Gant is a character in the FE6 manga, which I should definitely read. He's also my favourite character of Phoenix Wright, who coincidentally dresses in bright orange, like this lance here.

It's a decent lance, all things considered. Just, not yet. We're still in axeland #1. Thankfully, this is its last chapter.

I tell Chad to give it to Lance for the time being and I won't make the easy joke.

Let's instead take a look at how I, for some reason, made him equip it as well, resulting in his death.

Or it would've, had this Mercenary not been too lazy to move from his cozy clearing in the woods.

Let's pretend that never happened, okay?

Well, after we show this Mercenary the consequences of sleeping at work.

Jeez! This guy is strong!

Quite honestly, these two don't have as many problems early on as someone like Bors. They struggle against these guys, but are evenly matched against the much more common axemen.

Speaking of whom, let's forget about the Mercenary's existance until it becomes a problem. That's worked fine thus far, right?

Blistering barnacles, why?! Why is Lugh so bad?!

He even got a bad level after that! That dodge drained all of his luck.

This happens too and goes about as well as I expected it to.

Not funny, Lugh.

There we go, he's down.

Roy keeps on dodging strength and defense when leveling up. I don't like that.

The lazy Mercenary joins his energetic Fighter pal in death. Lot seems to do better when the odds are against him. I can't say I don't like that.

And with some healer-on-healer action, oh my God three Mercenaries?! It took me ages to kill one!

Oh, okay. Now we are the most accurate team in town.

Guess they simply want to contradict my statements.

You are the worst team ever. I hope you all d--

Nope. Nope nope nope. Not riskin' it.

That's more like the team I know and love.

Although, I still appreciate the small victories.

Seriously, couldn't they have toned the early enemies down just a little? I'm not talking FE8 levels, but this is ridiculous.

That's a lot of enemies...

A lot of enemies.

Crap! Retreat! Retreat!

That's better. Phew.

Ah!

Duck, Dick, Duuuck!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Oh, dear...

I just lost Deke of all people. Isn't that great? What else, is Marcus going to die too?

At the very least, Deke lasted long enough to ensure nobody was left to go after the rest of the army. Avenge him, everybody!

Excellent work, Lot! Your boss may now rest in peace.

...

...

...sorry...

So... in case you didn't notice, we're in a bit of a pickle.

Chad gets destroyed, Roy can't do anything, the healers are the healers, and Lance barely fares any better than any of them.

So for now, let's just get the hell out and let the axe siblings and Marcus take care of it.

There we go. With any luck, we should be fine.

Except YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M DUMB!

My thought process here was "hmm, I don't think the actually good units will be able to take on so much people... I'll lure the most dangerous of them closer to the helpless, fragile units! What an idea!".

Not just that, I risked the whole friggin' run!

And you might think "eh, that's not so bad! It's not like you got any good levels to lose!".

Well, believe me, I did.

For I'd gotten this MONSTER of a Jeigan level right before Roy almost lost his head.

That's all, the rest of the enemies are still attacking the A team. But those two can and will slaughter the other useless buffoons if I don't stop them!

So, of course, I just focus on attacking the weak Bandits who can't do anything to anybody.

What was I thinking that day?

The game rewards my awfulness. Or maybe it just feels bad.

Plan B, everyone: Shanna will save Elen, Chad will go on the forest and take on the Mercenary. Thanks to the forest, he'll survive, and the Brigand's hitrate will be low enough for me to safely call bullshit and rewind if Chad ends up biting the dust. As for Clarine...

...ergh, plan C everyone. Roy will instead stand on the forest, and...

...

I could've moved Clarine further away, but I didn't because I'm a gtera ctciant.

Wade! That's unacceptable! I need you to get good stats to compensate for my bad strats! You were doing so well!

Never mind that, though. Nor this, either. This is all irrelevant. It's time to find out... will Clarine survive today?

AAAAAA-- Good! GOOD! YES!

I despise you, but still. I'm glad you're still alive.

What is going on back there? I'd better go check things out...

Now that was productive.

My faulty strategies have not let up yet, though: I cannot, in any way, get Clarine out of there. She'll have to survive another turn.

C'mon! Attack Roy! You know you want to attack him, if you both hit him, the battle will be over! Go after him!

AAAAAAAAARGHHHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH! YES! SHE MADE IT! I'M A BADAAAASS!

Ahem.

All according to plan.

!! How?! How did these two get past us?!

Rrgh... accursed faulty tactics... I should've kicked that man out long ago...

We get attacked as always. There's more, but I think you get the point.

Very well, let's save Clarine ASAP. I want to take no risks. Unleash the silver lance Jeigan!

Killing the Brigand isn't as urgent, but we start working on him anyways. Time's money, after all.

In the frontlines, Wade and Lot equip their handaxes through trading shenanigans and take on the enemy with varying degrees of success. Lugh too. I honestly have no idea what Lugh's doing there.

He got a good level though. Another one of these or two and he'll actually be useful.

But let's ignore the frontlines for now. The only thing going on there is Brigands and more Brigands attacking the axe siblings and Lugh. Instead, take a look at the Brigand's defeat.

Clarine celebrates her shocking display of competence by getting a sucky level up.

This is how things are looking like.

I'm not showing it, but there's a lot of combat going on. Enough to break Wade's handaxe, as well as get him another level up. That's better. You need the defense.

Only one more Brigand, and we will finally be able to move forward.

Good.

Elen gets a good level by healing Lugh. She needs those stats. She needs stats in general, but that just means anything is good for her.

Except for skill. She does not need skill, nor will she in the unlikely case that she gets promoted.

Oh, lookie there! I'd forgotten, that guy was badly injured, did the smart thing and spent the rest of the skirmish healing up.

He was also dumb and moved to attack Wade as soon as we started to approach him. Fatal mistake.

Excellent! More defense! He keeps this up, and soon enough, he'll become more tanky than Marcus!

Come on, everybody, home stretch!

The enemy moves forward to take us on. Let us humor their death wish.

One down!

GAH! Lugh! Stop scaring the crap outta me!

Oh, God damnit, why? Why does everyone have to always start missing at the worst possible time?!

Genial. Amazing. Marvelous. I just love it.

This is just cruel.

So here we have the world's sloppiest formation, all because I was too careless and rushed forward, thinking this would be easy.

SHUT UP!

Ah! Ah! Ahh... good work, El--

EEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

No! Lugh! Hold on...! Cleric! Do something!

Dear Goddess Elimine... please, take this unfortunate child into your blessed embrace...

...I'm so sorry, kid... I should've never allowed you to come with us that day I walked into your village... I... I'm...

Sir Marcus, please...

...

 

Shall we go back to the boat, Ruben?

Wrys! Don't be so pessimistic, we can s-still salvage the situation.

No, we cannot. All we can do is RUN!

Okay, okay, I'm coming...

Ride forth, everybody! Vanquish the enemy! Save the villagers... and avenge the child!

Hey, nice level up! Maybe I should kill children off more often, it seems to encourage people to--

That was foul. I apologize.

The boss has almost capped strength and a killer axe. Because you know, this game wasn't going overboard enough with their bosses.

Yeah. You do not want to face this monster head-on.

Nah. Why do you think he's keeping his distance?

Those are better odds, but still, I don't like it.

At this point I'm still trying to figure out how to handle this guy.

This boss. This friggin' boss. I crave the day we actually meet a boss that's easy to kill.

No, don't worry, I ain't forgetting Elen. After so much fuckery, at least that I did well.

Like so.

I feel like I'm trying to beat the ocean to death.

GAH! NO! NOT JEIGAN! I CAN'T WIN WITHOUT JEIGAN!

...good.

DIE ALREADY!

Nice! I think this is how we'll be rolling. Dory heals up 4 HP per turn. This means, by attacking with Marcus every turn, we can kill him in at least 32 turns, not counting Lot getting some lucky hits in or Marcus missing. Dory also seems to like to throw handaxes at Wade, so by keeping him in range, we prevent Dory from using his killer axe on the guy who's actually an active threat to his life.

Yeah. This is actually working!

So slowly, Marcus got a level just by chipping, but it works!

And what a level, goodness gracious. Look alive, everyone, Marcus is going to be lategame viable whether IntSys likes it or not!

About a thousand levels later, Dory is almost dead.

Aaaaand at last!

Eh. Not too good, but you need luck to improve your shoddy hitrates.

Lance rides back to the store and buys a little of everything.

And with that, we seize.

...

...can we just pretend this chapter never happened?

Ah, here's Saul. Where was he all this time? Talking some girl into submission?

I'm honestly shocked Merlinus does not believe this to be a trap.

But forget Merlinus. Lo and behold! The world's most nonsensical syllogism ever!

"The church hates my brother. Because of this, under no circumstances will they attempt to kill me, his sister. Nope. Totes impossible."

Wrap your heads around this one. Merlinus will blindly trust this stranger, who could've stolen those robes, to meet both his Lord and the princess of Bern, but thinks some woman actually being the princess of Bern is extremely dangerous, and a good reason to freak out.

Especially after that outburst!

Le shock! Guinivere has the Macguffin!

...what does that actually mean, though?

Couldn't they have sent someone else? Considering Guinivere is as high ranking as it gets, couldn't Yoder himself come talk to us? He was in that village! Why send Saul if he was right there?!

But scratch that, we need to go over things we know. Like the fact that the sister of the king of Bern is the sister of the king of Bern. Zephiel.

Also, I really hope Saul knew what the FE did beforehand. Otherwise, this question makes his presence here even more absurd.

That's... actually not a bad plan. Good effort, Guinivere.

You should, then.

Oh, wait, she especifically said "further bloodshed". Dangit! I didn't get the chance to make an easy joke!

We just accepted a creepy stalker into our army.

And with that, the update is over. See you next year!

 

 

 

Do you know where the tactician is, Merlinus?

No... we lost sight of him a while ago. Why is that?

The child's death... and all the others... they're his fault.

I agree. We must find him, and make him pay for his mistakes.

I don't believe this is the way. He tried his best. The war is to blame, not him!

...

In any case, we should still try to find him. We'll decide what to do afterwards.

Not to mention, we no longer have a tactician...

?? Perhaps I could help you with that...

!! Who...?

...

Death count: Bors
                        Wolt
                        Deke
                        Lugh

Reset count: 1

Merlinus death count: 4

 

Edited December 31, 2017 by Rubenio

[Franp3]

The quotes are displayed as spoilers because Firefox decided to screw up at the worst time possible, and the only way to salvage the reply was to copy it to a .txt file.

 

Spoiler

    Here's Lugh, and he totally doesn't look like a playable character.

If only we could get Generic Priest for a PC. There's no way he could be worse than Ellen, in any case.

 

Spoiler

   Raigh's the best character in the game. Bite me! Go ahead, I shall defend my fanboyism with my life!

I'll help you! For the glory of the best Dark Mage in the game!

Spoiler

    Aaaugh...! Wolt! I want to use you!

Remember, the best second best third best one of the best archers in the game is coming next chapter to take his place!

(I actually wrote this thinking Sue's chapter is next, but whatever, it works just as well)

Spoiler

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DON'T LEAVE MEEEE!

I'm not leaving, I want to see some more Mario 64.

Spoiler

    Let's try not to reenact my last LP's Lord situation, shall we?

I saw a video once of a guy beating Idoun with a lv1 unpromoted Roy, so at least we know it's possible.

Spoiler

 qAj6g09.png

Oh nooo... now you'll need to use Barth... such a shame...

Or Wendy. jk nobody uses Wendy.

Spoiler

 

    brave Lance!

 

If he had been higher in the CYL poll and had a Brave Lance, he'd be Brave Brave Lance with a Brave Lance. Brave^3 Lance for short.

Spoiler

    hWws2sb.png

    There. Make good use of it.

If Lugh had a Thunder tome by this point, it would have been an Eriktrifying death.

 

31 minutes ago, Rubenio said:

Gant is a character in the FE6 manga, which I should definitely read

Don't. It's not worth your time.

 

39 minutes ago, Rubenio said:

NOOO!!! LUGH!

Oh my god, this means... You'll have to use Lilina. Kaga have mercy on your soul.

[eclipse]

So long, Raigh. . .I would've loved to see your commentary on him. . .

(now you need to use Hugh)

[Dayni]

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

If google is not mistaken, it's an insult. There are plenty of instances where you could insult me. The only reason it didn't work is because I had never heard of that word until now.

Yes, yes there are.

If I were a full time asshole. Kind of an unemployed freelance asshole at present, trying to find some position.

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Yeah, I gotcha. I was just going along with the joke, pretending to be mad, you see?

I really need to not reply when it's late. Those last two commonets of mine were pretty bad.

Not really, no. You just misinterpreted my replies to your replies.

Also, could you please tell me what is a commonet?

Those last two responses referred to the ones in that reply. Felt a bit bad.

I should get some sleep if I write comment as commonet. Which I shall now describe as a section of internet infrastructure owned by a community.

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

I like it too, but it would be more satisfying if Clarine herself wasn't almost as hateable as him.

With her magic growth? I'd be surprised if an aircalibur-toting Clarine dealt double-digit damage to him.

True, her magic is pretty subpar. Still a pretty constantly used unit in BB and was a regular healer in Heroes for a long while.

I have a lot of fun once she is trained, especially when she can solo an entire squad in Chapter 21.

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Yeah... BY FRIGGIN' WENDY. Who I already intended to train. Or at least try to.

OH NO. In a run like this it cannot end well.

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

We take the spotlight as Merlinus announces a villager who wishes to speak to Roy... and then tries to prevent him from speaking to Roy.

Good ol' Merlinus.

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Roy ditches the sickle and pulls out his scimitar, vaporizing the Fighter.

Is Roy a swordomancer or something?

Maybe that explains his bad stats, he secretly has amazing magic that he doesn't use directly. Eliwood/Ninian confirmed?

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

I just lost Deke of all people. Isn't that great? What else, is Marcus going to die too?

Diecks just dang done died.

All the jokes I could have made...... I should have done them sooner.

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

I could've moved Clarine further away, but I didn't because I'm a gtera ctciant.

I don't think all the letters for tactician are there. Truly the greatest.

2 hours ago, Rubenio said:

My faulty strategies have not let up yet, though: I cannot, in any way, get Clarine out of there. She'll have to survive another turn.

Honestly I wouldn't have been surprised if this was on purpose.

But then again you need all the healers you can get.

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

......Uhhhh, I don't think I can respond adequately. That sprite actually leaves me on edge.

It's not like the mages in this game are amazing off the bat as is and losing one of the better ones is no good news.

Especially because it makes it more likely you can't use Gonzales.

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Wrys! Don't be so pessimistic, we can s-still salvage the situation.

No, we cannot. All we can do is RUN!

Well, this can only end well.

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Wrap your heads around this one. Merlinus will blindly trust this stranger, who could've stolen those robes, to meet both his Lord and the princess of Bern, but thinks some woman actually being the princess of Bern is extremely dangerous, and a good reason to freak out.

But don't you see? The Elimine church is a well trusted organisation that has a foothold in every part of the continent and are trusted as a holy group. Even if there's a chapter dedicated to a bunch of corrupt clerics. Of course the (vaguely defined) gods wouldn't allow a cleric to be robbed by mere brigands, right?

But it still doesn't jive with Merlinus, paranoia expert. Maybe he's a zealot?

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

?? Perhaps I could help you with that...

........no. He can't have come here.

He just can't.

 

That's a great first 5 chapters. Not even at chapter 7 and already the bodies are piling up, and Merlinus didn't die again. Then again, two units I liked died. Might as well wait until the next update.

[DestructionDragon360]

So Sid's the Super Soldier's name! I eagerly look forward to hearing of his further exploits... assuming any more are had if the trainwreck continues as it has. To be fair though, this game is trying it's hardest to push your shit in.

[Shadow Mir]

10 hours ago, eclipse said:

So long, Raigh. . .I would've loved to see your commentary on him. . .

(now you need to use Hugh)

Erm, isn't he recruitable by Chad?

[Dayni]

7 hours ago, Levant Mir Celestia said:

Erm, isn't he recruitable by Chad?

....Huh, turns out he is.

I never think to do it. Raigh is still obtainable after all.

[deskita]

 

19 hours ago, Dayni said:

?? Perhaps I could help you with that...

Is that who I think it is...

Spoiler

Eltzel

 

22 hours ago, Rubenio said:

We just accepted a creepy stalker into our army.

A creepy stalker who can heal people and is less likely to get one hit killed assuming he doesn't get critical hit by the enemy... sounds wonderful.

 

22 hours ago, Rubenio said:

I'm honestly shocked Merlinus does not believe this to be a trap.

Maybe at this point he's concerned that if he says that something's a trap one more time and he's wrong Roy will completely stop listening to him.

22 hours ago, Rubenio said:

GAH! NO! NOT JEIGAN! I CAN'T WIN WITHOUT JEIGAN!

Imagine if that had critical hit, this would be a very different lets play.

22 hours ago, Rubenio said:

I just lost Deke of all people. Isn't that great? What else, is Marcus going to die too?

Tempting fate with that last line. Although I am surprised that Deke died couldn't he have just dodged one more hit or an enemy go after the obnoxiously evasive Clarine instead,

22 hours ago, Rubenio said:

I despise you, but still. I'm glad you're still alive.

Your hatred fuels her evasiveness. 

22 hours ago, Rubenio said:

EEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Looks like Lugh got burned for the last time... (I'm sorry)

[Franp3]

On 31/12/2017 at 5:05 PM, eclipse said:

now you need to use Hugh)

On one hand, I'd like to see Hugh finally get his time to shine.

On the other hand, It's effing Hugh.

[Saint Rubenio]

So you say you are a tactician.

The best there is, Sir Marcus.

We've met somebody who claimed to be precisely that before, and he was... far from "the best", to say the least.

It's perfectly understandable that you would be cautious... I hear that my predecessor had a young child killed. Truly a tragedy.

But believe me, under my guidance, that shan't happen ever again.

I hope you are right.

...

And who might you be?

That's Lady Elen, princ--

...goodbye!

Hold on! Lady Elen!

I apologize... I don't know what got over her.

She must be having a bad day. Don't worry about it. I shall introduce myself properly to her and the rest of the arm if you decide to keep me around.

We certainly hope you prove to be good enough to earn a place in this army.

It's not as if he can be any worse than the other buffoon! Hah hah hah hah!

Hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah!

...

Part 6 - Wagner's last opera.

What the actual crap? So many replies! I should kill children off more oft--

Sorry, sorry, I won't! Don't worry your pretty little heads.

On 31/12/2017 at 8:51 PM, Franp3 said:

The quotes are displayed as spoilers because Firefox decided to screw up at the worst time possible, and the only way to salvage the reply was to copy it to a .txt file.

Eh, it just means it'll be slightly more inconvenient to localize the part you are replying to.

  Reveal hidden contents

    Here's Lugh, and he totally doesn't look like a playable character.

If only we could get Generic Priest for a PC. There's no way he could be worse than Ellen, in any case.

If only... if only.
 

  Reveal hidden contents

   Raigh's the best character in the game. Bite me! Go ahead, I shall defend my fanboyism with my life!

I'll help you! For the glory of the best Dark Mage in the game!

Heck yeah! Thanks for the help!

  Reveal hidden contents

    Aaaugh...! Wolt! I want to use you!

Remember, the best second best third best one of the best archers in the game is coming next chapter to take his place!

Hahah... errrgh... yeah.

(I actually wrote this thinking Sue's chapter is next, but whatever, it works just as well)

Well, it's coming right now, so you were... sort of right? You need to reply to the updates in time, man!

  Reveal hidden contents

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DON'T LEAVE MEEEE!

I'm not leaving, I want to see some more Mario 64.

You go ahead. It's a good game. I like the remake better, but the original is not bad by any means.

  Reveal hidden contents

    Let's try not to reenact my last LP's Lord situation, shall we?

I saw a video once of a guy beating Idoun with a lv1 unpromoted Roy, so at least we know it's possible.

You mean you saw a video of a guy beating Idoun with the Binding Blade. Roy was just the guy who carried it around.

  Reveal hidden contents

 qAj6g09.png

Oh nooo... now you'll need to use Barth... such a shame...

Or Wendy. jk nobody uses Wendy.

I did, once.

She didn't turn out so badly! Her defense wasn't great, but her offensive stats were.

  Reveal hidden contents

 

    brave Lance!

 

If he had been higher in the CYL poll and had a Brave Lance, he'd be Brave Brave Lance with a Brave Lance. Brave^3 Lance for short.

Hey, it's Heroes. They would've renamed him to Laanse or something like that, just to be inconvenient.

  Reveal hidden contents

    hWws2sb.png

    There. Make good use of it.

If Lugh had a Thunder tome by this point, it would have been an Eriktrifying death.

Oh my God, that was awful. I love it.

Don't. It's not worth your time.

Well then.

NOOO!!! LUGH!

Oh my god, this means... You'll have to use Lilina. Kaga have mercy on your soul.

I used her once, too. Well, then again, I've used pretty much everyone but Rutger in my many, many, many playthroughs (would you believe, I unlocked all the trial map characters legitimately? That's how many times I've beaten this game. And that's just the vanilla game, I tried a great deal of rebalance hacks and randomized files)

That said, I could also use Hugh.

 

On 31/12/2017 at 9:05 PM, eclipse said:

"OMIGOSH A MOD READS MY SHITFEST FOR FUN?! AND NOT JUST TO BAN ME FOR BREAKING A THOUSAND RULES?!"

- My reaction to this. I was half expecting you to be telling me something I did wrong while the page loaded, actually.

So long, Raigh. . .I would've loved to see your commentary on him. . .

I've still got Chad. Not all hope is lost!

(now you need to use Hugh)

Or Lilina. Or just give the best magic type the middle finger entirely. It wouldn't be too strange, considering my track record.

 

On 31/12/2017 at 11:50 PM, Dayni said:

Yes, yes there are.

If I were a full time asshole. Kind of an unemployed freelance asshole at present, trying to find some position.

Come nooooow, don't you remember how I almost killed plot!me last LP? And then made myself so incompetent, I almost destroyed the fabric of time and space? I think I've got you all beat when it comes to insulting me, so just go ahead.

Those last two responses referred to the ones in that reply. Felt a bit bad.

Ah. I see.

I should get some sleep if I write comment as commonet. Which I shall now describe as a section of internet infrastructure owned by a community.

I found it positively laughable, so don't feel to bad. You made me smile.

True, her magic is pretty subpar. Still a pretty constantly used unit in BB and was a regular healer in Heroes for a long while.

Yeah, people love her because MY SUPPORT TRIANGLE WITH RUTGAH!

Since I despise them both, I usually try to avoid them.

I have a lot of fun once she is trained, especially when she can solo an entire squad in Chapter 21.

I like to do that too, but with Raigh and a nosferatu tome.

OH NO. In a run like this it cannot end well.

I'd also like to use Sophia, but that might not be possible.

Good ol' Merlinus.

Well, he's good... at being annoying!

Is Roy a swordomancer or something?

Maybe that explains his bad stats, he secretly has amazing magic that he doesn't use directly. Eliwood/Ninian confirmed?

Ah, if only... it certainly would've been better than "sword lord #4".

Diecks just dang done died.

All the jokes I could have made...... I should have done them sooner.

Don't feel too bad, we haven't even reached Ostia yet. You'll have plenty of occasions to joke about deaths in my LP.

I don't think all the letters for tactician are there. Truly the greatest.

I amaze myself sometimes.

Honestly I wouldn't have been surprised if this was on purpose.

But then again you need all the healers you can get.

Actually, it wasn't. I was just being like "duuuh, okay, I'll protect her with Lance and Roy, and... uh... wait no they die too... uh... maybe I shouldn't have moved her there...".

......Uhhhh, I don't think I can respond adequately. That sprite actually leaves me on edge.

I... might've gone a little overboard with it. I'm sorry.

But hey, at least he still does have his head on his shoulders!

It's not like the mages in this game are amazing off the bat as is and losing one of the better ones is no good news.

Yeah, you're right! The mages in this game are not amazing off the bat! Lilina and Lugh suck initially and Hugh comes late!

Besides, Lilina's good. She has a lot of magic!

...

Ahem.

Especially because it makes it more likely you can't use Gonzales.

Why would I use him? I have the best axemen!

Well, this can only end well.

Who knows!

But don't you see? The Elimine church is a well trusted organisation that has a foothold in every part of the continent and are trusted as a holy group. Even if there's a chapter dedicated to a bunch of corrupt clerics. Of course the (vaguely defined) gods wouldn't allow a cleric to be robbed by mere brigands, right?

But it still doesn't jive with Merlinus, paranoia expert. Maybe he's a zealot?

Omigosh, he's actually Zelot in disguise!

...that was the easiest, most nonsensical joke theory I could've pulled out of my ass.

........no. He can't have come here.

He just can't.

Well...

That's a great first 5 chapters. Not even at chapter 7 and already the bodies are piling up, and Merlinus didn't die again.

What are you talking about? He did die again! He died at the beginning of the chapter!

Then again, two units I liked died.

I mean, you knew what you were going to get. Remember how I killed Frey in the last LP? Yeah...

Might as well wait until the next update.

Here it is!

 

On 1/1/2018 at 5:37 AM, DestructionDragon360 said:

So Sid's the Super Soldier's name!

Thank KnightofNohr for that. He came up with it.

I eagerly look forward to hearing of his further exploits... assuming any more are had if the trainwreck continues as it has.

What, you worried I might not be able to beat the game?! You underestimate me, my friend.

To be fair though, this game is trying it's hardest to push your shit in.

I dread chapter 7.

 

On 1/1/2018 at 8:03 AM, Levant Mir Celestia said:

Erm, isn't he recruitable by Chad?

Yeah, exactly.

22 hours ago, Dayni said:

....Huh, turns out he is.

I never think to do it. Raigh is still obtainable after all.

I actually recruit him with Chad more often than I do with Lugh. While I don't always use Lugh, Chad's usually deployed in Raigh's map along with Astore due to the army being split in half. I just have to make sure he doesn't die before then.

18 hours ago, deskita said:

 

Is that who I think it is...

  Reveal hidden contents

Eltzel

Well...

A creepy stalker who can heal people and is less likely to get one hit killed assuming he doesn't get critical hit by the enemy... sounds wonderful.

He's a good unit, but... not exactly a very heroic person.

Maybe at this point he's concerned that if he says that something's a trap one more time and he's wrong Roy will completely stop listening to him.

But he already has... Merlinus has nothing to lose!

Imagine if that had critical hit, this would be a very different lets play.

Yeah, it would be cancelled at chapter 7. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. There's still time for chapter 7 to ruin the LP.

Tempting fate with that last line. Although I am surprised that Deke died couldn't he have just dodged one more hit or an enemy go after the obnoxiously evasive Clarine instead,

He didn't dodge because he's overrated. See?

Your hatred fuels her evasiveness. 

But will that be enough to save her from Zephiel's sword?

Looks like Lugh got burned for the last time... (I'm sorry)

Bwahahah. You're going to hell. And so am I.

 

12 hours ago, Franp3 said:

On one hand, I'd like to see Hugh finally get his time to shine.

On the other hand, It's effing Hugh.

I've used him as well. Quite a few times, in fact. I always did like using him for the support triangle with Raigh and L--

...oh... well, even when I didn't use Lugh, there hasn't been a single one of my many FE6 runs where Raigh wasn't in my main team (I like him too much, perhaps), so Hugh was often supporting him.

His chances are high, so long as I have enough money by then.

Spoiler

And a new tactician, after the old one's disappearance. I pondered deeply how to handle this, and eventually settled for just going with my normal commentary. So we have me, commenting on what a mysterious new tactician is doing, while plot!me's whereabouts are unknown. That's not lazy at all, nooo sir.

But that's okay. I don't think anybody here expects quality writing.

Who never showed up in FE7. For some reason.

Place your bets, will they--

Never mind, they didn't even give the bets enough time to be placed.

Oh, my! The game has finally submitted the preparation screen to us!

                 

Here is today's map. I personaly quite like it. The rooms marked in green contain goods. The red rooms contain only enemies. The room marked in orange contains both treasure and enemies.

As for the map itself, it's a tad easier than the preceeding and the following maps, but it's still not to be understimated: crossing the blue line (in other words, approaching the throne room) triggers asshole reinforcements to appear at the starting zone, and throughout the whole map, reinforcements will be appearing at the throne room. It may be easier than some others, but it can still get overwhelming if you're not careful.

The boss is the world's fastest Shaman, but since he's a magic user, he's easier than the previous bosses, since at least we can damage him.

Here is the team. In retrospect, I should probably have brought Allen for rescuing, but eh.

That's one way of putting it.

Meet Cath, one of the most annoying characters in the game.

And here is Wagner, today's "face that sits on the seize tile", talking to a generic Soldier.

For some reason, he's going over his evil plan again for Cath to eavesdrop on them.

He even talks to himself, so as to give her as much information as possible!

I also like how Erik only had to offer Narcian some underaged pussy and that was enough to gain his favour, while this guy believes he needs the Princess of Bern and the heir of Sacae (more or less) just to merely join Bern.

Narcian has his priorities in order, that much is obvious.

Aside from looking like an evil mummy? No, I can't think of anything.

Seriously, what's with Merlinus? It seems like he isn't as paranoid as he just wants to go against Roy all the time.

At least Roy is smart enough to figure out Wagner's extremely transparent ploy to kill everyone.

Suddenly, Saul hasn't joined us yet, so he's still important to the plot.

And Dorothy, too!

As it turns out, though, it's not the Thrians...? Threes? Trees?

Yeah, definitely.

It's not the Trees that are spying on us, but... something worse, all things considered.

Straight to the point. If only she was so straightforward in her recruitment...

Subtle.

"Or something". Jesus Christ, this girl...

Wrong. He wants to kill them all and turn Guinivere over to Bern.

Merlinus! You'd trust the suspicious mummy, but not this girl? She's acting less shady than Wagner!

Nah, it couldn't possibly be. We can see her eyes! That means she's less trustworthy than Wagner! Merlinus' years of vast experience said so!

Roy proves he's the only person in the room with a brain.

No shit. What, do you think Roy and co. fell through the roof?

Of course, Wagner takes the extremely obvious bait.

Although, to be fair, there's not much more he can do.

The man tries his best to salvage the situation, but Roy turns his meek excuses around and uses them to his own advantage.

If this was Phoenix Wright, Wagner would be sweating bullets by now.

Wagner realises his strategy has failed, so...

He just throws all subtlety out of the window!

There we go. Time to bash some skulls in!

But first...

- Saul is the best early healer, statwise. He has a little more bulk to him, meaning he'll occasionally survive a hit, as well as the highest magic base. His growths are also much better balanced than the other two healers. Probably the best light magic user, if you can get him there.

- Dorothy is the second Archer, and she's better than Wolt in pretty much every way. Stronger and faster, she is still bowlocked and quite fragile. Not too bad. I'll see if I can do something with her.

At first I thought to give Dorothy both iron bows I have, but decided not to in the end. Not much of a reason, really, I just figured I wouldn't be sending Dorothy up Sue's side.

Other than that, I place my strongest men in the chokepoints.

Speaking of whom, she makes her presence known.

The enemy mindlessly charges at us.

This Mage was the first to learn the error in their tactics as the swordmancer summoned his arm-axe.

Eh.

And after getting healed up, the axe siblings attack the enemy. Is that a "1" between Wade's axe and the Mage's head? How peculiar.

Also Lot missing when the odds were in his favour. But that's nothing new.

I'd like to know why this keeps happening. One day, one of these misses is going to screw everything up and I'll lose someone as a result.

Not bad. Marcus has his sword equiped, so the Mercenary will barely survived. It'll be an easy kill for Dorothy.

The axe siblings make short work of these Soldiers.

Oh dear, Marcus is under attack by an anthropomorphic seahorse!

Destroy it!

You, too.

Training the axe siblings is finally paying off. This part is usually harder, but with their support and WTA, it's a walk in the park.

Excellent, more defense. So many nines... it would be swell if you could turn all of those into double-digit numbers. Think you can do that, Lot?

Merlinus hands the bow over to Saul, so Sue won't be left hanging in the event that he perishes in his mission to be living bait.

Good, good. Keep on getting defense, and I might just consider using you despite being a popular unit.

So here's the plan. You, along with Sir Roy and Elen will go up the western corridor. Lance, Clarine and Chad will go through the eastern path. Lot, Wade, Merlinus, Dorothy and Saul will go through the middle and face the reinforcements.

Very good, indeed. Wish us luck.

I would, but I don't think you'll be needing it.

...

Come, Sister Elen. We must move.

...yes, of course.

Merlinus survived. Think of that what you will.

Everyone's in the mood for weird sprites today, aren't they? Here's the Scorpion Soldier, who attacks with his sharp, lance-like tail.

Player phase again. Time to get destroying, healing, and all that.

Nice! I know just the man to give this kill to.

C'mon, seriously?

...never mind.

It's not like Chad needs stats, considering speed isn't a factor when it comes to stealing in this game, but I'd still like him to have the ability to take one hit.

This guy is the only one left in the vicinity. And I think I know just what to do with him.

I'll give him to Dorothy! A couple more arrows should do it.

Chad'll get pillaging now. Lord Orun wouldn't have wanted his killer to keep all of his goods, right?

Cath enters the battlefield. Time for Roy to double back and recruit her.

Merlinus takes some more hits, and Cath runs away from Roy. Dangit, girl!

Dangit, other girl!

You won't wait for Roy? Fine, then. I'll just take your lockpick, hope you don't mind.

I'll also cripple you. Ahem, "or something". Hope you don't mind!

Come ooon just one more arrow and we can keep going!

Oh, come now!

It's taking so long for Dorothy to take down that guy, Roy actually reached Cath first.

She tries to escape, but Roy wants to talk, whether she likes it or not!

Believable. Let's just move on, Roy. Merlinus would agree.

Once again, Roy is actually using his brain, unlike some others.

...like the girl he's currently speaking to.

I think it should be quite obvious, Roy, but it's okay. You've shown enough intelligence today, I can give this a pass.

Even more believable than last time.

Roy can't quite reach her arm this time. Ah, shucks, you'll get her next time, our boy.

...yes, I did say next time, because Cath cannot be recruited in this chapter. Talking to her in this chapter is merely the first part of a very annoying recruitment. This is one character that even in my normal, resettable runs, I sometimes kill, because I simply don't have the patience to deal with her.

Oh dear, reinforcements. And here we are, still dealing with this guy.

Finally!

Not you too!

Let's get a welcoming party ready for the new arrivals, shall we?

We're a little behind schedule. Accursed misses... let's get moving already.

Chad begins working on the chests. A little gold lies within the first chest.

Wade gets a great level up. He's turning out unusually great.

And that's pretty much it for the reinforcements. You'll need more than that to bring us down, Wagner.

Nice, another silver lance for Jeigan.

The army moves forward. I'll be waiting a couple turns to prepare for assaulting the throne room.

But first, Sue. She's not too bad. Extremely fragile, and has little strength, but her dodge and accuracy are amazing. Her brother is better, but since he arrives later, it balances out... right?

I moved Lance forward, which triggers the reinforcements from the rear. Thankfully, they all go through the middle, right where the axe sibligns are waiting.

But before that, let's recruit Sue.

To quote Clarine, "do you see anybody else? (yes)".

Come now, Roy, what else could it have been?

Good. Let's go.

Sorry, first we need to know her backstory.

...or not, because in true Sacaean fashion, Sue refuses to tell Roy anything.

In any case, let's keep feeding kills to Dorothy.

Oh GOD DAMNIT!

Now we have two severely wounded units in an extremely bad position. Wonderful.

Plan B time. Marcus will fetch Dorothy while Clarine heals Wade up..

The enemies can't quite reach her yet.

In the eastern corridor, Chad moves up to the next room, and forces the lock open.

Argh! That's... a lot of Mages...

Bah. This is the axe siblings we're talking about. They'll be fine~

Get your obnoxious self out of here, Clarine. You getting attacked is not an important occurrence!

Jeez! cuttin' it closer than I like. Muuuuch closer. But he's alive, and that's all that matters.

Now, that's a good level if I've ever seen one.

How many >70% misses in one chapter does this make? Seven?

Remember when I said that one of these days, all the missing would cost me? Yeah, my army's complete inability to hit anything just forced me to switch to plan C: run away and hope for the best.

Oh, but there's more! Cath is in the middle of the corridor, acting as an extremely inconvenient obstacle, which makes things even more awkward. Isn't she just a love bucket of joy?

Chad is in a bit of an awkward position as well, but I don't think anybody will go after him, so long as he stays hunkered down in the treasure room.

Hmph... well, I can just commend his speed and intelligence in fleeing the battle. That should be enough for him to forget his anger.

Urk! Accursed weak child... she's going to be my downfall!

I cannot allow any mistakes to happen... not yet. I have not earned their trust yet...

Very well, young Archer. Today is your lucky day... for powers beyond your limited comprehension are about to come into play!

You shall live!

...what...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile, somewhere else...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAH!

...blessed Elimine... I cannot understand... what sort of devilish powers does this foul man possess?

Hmm? Who goes there?

Ah!

...

Hmph. Just the wind, I suppose. I shouldn't be so paranoid.

...I should return to the army. If he were to notice my absence...

 

 

 

Jesus friggin' Chirst, that was close.

We're still kinda screwed, though.

Very good, two less Mages to worry about.

Okay, Lot has his support partner back in play, and Dorothy is gone. We should be fine now. Rutger will draw some heat away from Lot and Marcus.

I know, I said he'd never see combat, but this isn't combat, it's Merlinus. Rutger's Merlinus right now.

The Armor Knight goes after Marcus, who badly wounds him. The soldiers decided to go for Lot instead. Grave mistake.

The rest of the enemy attacks Rutger and Lot. Another Mage also attacked Marcus, but it was so inconsequential, I didn't deem it necessary to show it. The poor dude only dealt 4 damage to Jeigan.

Also Cath finally leaves. So long, you annoying pest. I already regret not murdering you.

This is starting to seriously piss me off. Sure, he doubled and killed the guy, but the miss still took place.

It's a good thing Lot didn't miss that one. Otherwise, I would've thrown the LP and the lame fanfic out of the God damned window.

Healing, healing, and I finally remembered to give Sue her bow. She'll be able to do minor damage now.

Marcus snuffs out another Mage, while Chad resumes his looting (I'd forgotten to move him in those intense turns). Not too bad, luck in this game is okay. Anything that improves one's accuracy is good.

Lot's starting to look a lot worse for the wear. Better do something about that.

There we go.

Wade one-shots Mages. It's so satisfying.

In the enemy phase, one of the last Mages shoots a fireball at Lot. Lot, being the considerate man he is, spares him, because unlike both our Archers, he doesn't need the experience.

He still gets a great level up out of that completely useless round of combat, because he's great like that. He's so fast, hot damn. And the resistance is also nice.

And that's it for the Mages.

Well, Lot just got a whole lot more powerful. Or Wade. Or both! Trading exists, after all.

More reinforcements? And they're all lance users? Great! I appreciate the free experience, Wagner.

...why?

Here, take notes, Wagner. These reinforcements? Throughoutly counterproductive.

Let's not let Rutger die. That would be a true tragedy, now would it not?

I'm not too sure when this happened, but in any case, it's hilarious. We won't hit a 70% strike if it kills us, but them?

Although, considering that whole deal with Dorothy, I don't think I should be complaining.

We won't be bothering with the southern red rooms (they only have staircases, from which reinforcements would've came out), but the ones adjacent to the throne room have some juicy experience bags waiting to be smashed open.

Nice. The other room has the same enemies, as well as a chest. It's a good idea to open these after Wagner runs out of people to reinforce his army. 8 enemies worth of easy experience is nothing to sneeze at, especially with chapter 7 coming up next.

Good, a nearly dead Soldier! He's got our Archers' names written all over his body.

Of course, they just couldn't let me go without some nice annoying misses. Uuuurrrrghhh...

Due to Lance's incompetence, Dorothy took damage. But it's okay, it just means we can get Saul some more experience.

Sue finally got a level up! It's a very generic Sue level, which does not help her at all.

And Marcus ends the Mage's life because I didn't want to take even the slightest risk.

Whoa.

That's... the best level anyone's gotten thus far.

...except for the fact that her magic still sucks, her defense still sucks, and she didn't get HP, so her durability is still horrendous.

And I still despise her guts.

Same deal as before.

Is this it? Am I finally going to be able to kill a pack of enemies without somebody missing and wasting time?

Gah! Flashbangs? Here?! In the Middle Ages of Anime?!?

Don't worry, neither the Knight nor the Soldier have javelins.

...why would that guy go after Marcus? Lance was injured, and is far less strong than Jeigan. Does he know he's a videogame character, and given the choice, would rather screw me (the player) over by wasting himself on Marcus?

Eh, in any case, we still have Wagner's personal bodyguard Knights left.

Before taking on them, though, Chad finishes opening all the chests in the castle. Not a bad haul. I especially like the silver lance and the killer axe, and the cash is also quite nice.

Saul gets another level out of healing our injured units, in preparation for the final confrontation of the chapter. It's awful because Saul is not feeling like being good today.

Just one more thing before facing Wagner. Wade, Lot! A support!

Well, he's got the lowest chance of dying out of the entire team, I think.

Wade's chances are slightly lower. That speed might give him problems later. But I still believe you'll both go far.

In the original translation, he called her a bitch. I'm honestly glad Gringe changed that.

Quite right, actually.

And with that, these two just gained 3 more attack power. Excellent. Although, what they really need is some accuracy. Sadly, Lot's anima doesn't give accuracy, but Wade's fire gives some. 7% more accuracy isn't too bad. And their avoid is now godly.

Wade realises Lot can't help his accuracy issues, so he decides to work on it a little. And... nothing else.

Dorothy takes the other Knight. She didn't quite get a level, but...

...yeah, she can't really risk attacking Wagner.

However, as a Mage, he has a pretty big weakness.

Marcus. Perhaps not this turn, but one day, it'll happen. I just hope it's today.

There we go.

And in just two turns, he's on the rope. Finally, a boss that isn't obnoxiously overpowered!

The axe siblings don't need the experience, and I can't afford to try hitting him with the Archers or Roy, so Lance may take the kill.

There we go.

Pretty good, but you're still far too squishy. Defense, Lance! Do you know what that is? It's the thing you need to get in high quantities for me to use you, despite your popularity!

I would like to stay here forever, but we don't have the time. We must press on to the dreaded chapter 7.

Oh my God, Sue is relevant to the plot? I'm dumbstruck... but she could've died in the chapter! IntSys must've been feeling quite brave that day.

Yeah, that's a good question.

This isn't going to end happily, is it?

Asshats! When do we kill them?

You know, I can't help but wonder, why the hell didn't Orun appear in the prequel? Hector and Eliwood weren't very important characters, and they were made protagonists! You'd think Hector's half brother would've been a playable character, or at least would've made an appearance!

Yay, the character that already joined us is joining us!

We must avenge the man who is said to be quite kind. And was killed by his retainer. Who we already killed. Therefore, he's pretty much already been avenged. But if it means we get another unit, then it's okay.

And so, she joins us. And I'd like to use her, but I'm too scared. If we lose her, we lose Mulgreis in the sacae route!

Why did you send a spy to Ostia, though? When did you send a spy to Ostia? How, what, where...?

The dastards! They're to blame for chapter 7!

Yes... to Ostia... woo... urk. Until next time.

 

 

 

 

So, what do you think?

That was a magnificent battle! You didn't make a single mistake!

Yes, we'd be glad to have you if you wish to stay with us.

I would very much like to.

Does anybody have any objections?

...

"Oh, yes, I do! I'm Ruben, I'm an idiot, and I don't think this guy deserves the job as much as I do! I'm good when I'm not being an idiot!"

Does he ever, though?

No! Hahahahahah!

Hahahahahah!

Hahahahahah!

HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

...saintly Elimine, please tell me... what shall I do?

Death count: Bors
                        Wolt
                        Deke
                        Lugh

Reset count: 1

Merlinus death count: 5

[KnightOfNohr]

To be honest, Cath almost isn't worth the trouble. With mediocre stats and growths, plus a lack of a promotion, her combat performance is decidedly subpar, and the hurdles you have to jump through to recruit her makes Chad a much better Thief to use.

While she wasn't actually introduced until FE7, the lack of involvement on Lyn's part in The Binding Blade still annoys me quite a bit. That's why my headcanon puts Sue as my favorite Eliebe lord's daughter.

[Dayni]

6 hours ago, Rubenio said:

True, her magic is pretty subpar. Still a pretty constantly used unit in BB and was a regular healer in Heroes for a long while.

Yeah, people love her because MY SUPPORT TRIANGLE WITH RUTGAH!

I don't even do that. And when I say solo, I meant it. No supports for the dodge queen.

Besides, I'd pick Dorothy, Dieck or Lance anyway to be contrarian. I've never felt much interest in Rutger, though he's still one deadly unit.

6 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Especially because it makes it more likely you can't use Gonzales.

Why would I use him? I have the best axemen!

Gonzales best axe. I don't care if he's as likely to hit someone as Tom Hanks, I always love using him.

6 hours ago, Rubenio said:

I mean, you knew what you were going to get. Remember how I killed Frey in the last LP? Yeah...

Oh look, you actually remembered. I'm touched.

Also dangit, had to remind me.

6 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Seriously, what's with Merlinus? It seems like he isn't as paranoid as he just wants to go against Roy all the time.

Again, a summary of BB's pre-chapter dialogue:

Merlinus: Roy no.

Roy: Roy yes!

6 hours ago, Rubenio said:

If this was Phoenix Wright, Wagner would be sweating bullets by now.

Think I've seen Smug Roy (Now called Smoy from here on out) somewhere. Might be better than Leery Marth.

6 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Oh dear, Marcus is under attack by an anthropomorphic seahorse!

GBA smudge, where would we be without it?

6 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Her brother is better, but since he arrives later, it balances out... right?

Shin's not her brother.

Also his bases are great. So naturally you have to not level him up too much or else you get Sacae. He's also popular as a result.

6 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Very well, young Archer. Today is your lucky day... for powers beyond your limited comprehension are about to come into play!

You shall live!

What are the powers of Human Mr. Potato Head, that he can ignore the RNG so thoroughly?

At least he ain't Pretzel.

6 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Whoa.

That's... the best level anyone's gotten thus far.

...except for the fact that her magic still sucks, her defense still sucks, and she didn't get HP, so her durability is still horrendous.

You'll come around at this rate. Calling it.

Or she'll die next chapter. Can see that too.

6 hours ago, Rubenio said:

HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

I can get Merlinus liking Human Mr. Potato Head (now known as Humphry), though Marcus seems a little too quick to do so. Must have been easily Rubed up the wrong way before.

Also, Marcus and Merlinus may have expected too much good as everyone barring Eliwood is worse than in BS 20 years ago. Nostalgia eh? Don't be so smug Marcus, you can't near solo the game this time!

Also yeesh, Sid got left in the dust. Small mercies that Ruben and Wrys showed up while running away right?

[Franp3]

9 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Meet Cath, one of the most annoying characters in the game.

One of the most annoying? Who is this mysterious character that I don't know about?

I mean yeah, Douglas exists, but still...

 

9 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Excellent edit right there.

Look, a non-sarcastic, actually positive Franp3 comment! It only happens once in a blue moon clipse or something.

Kinda unrelated, but I just realized we won't have any smug/unimpressed mugshots in this LP, because people lost the ability to blink somewhere between FE7 and FE6.

 

9 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Probably the best light magic user, if you can get him there.

Debatable.

 

9 hours ago, Rubenio said:

The axe siblings make short work of these Soldiers.

The axe siblings kill a Lot of people this chapter.

 

9 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Her brother is better, but since he arrives later, it balances out... right?

Brother? Isn't he just some random dude?

 

[Saint Rubenio]

...

Lady Elen!

Ah! Oh, yes... hello, Sir Tactician...

Why are you so flustered?

W-well... it's just... war is...

So it's war that makes you so nervous.

I find that hard to believe.

I--

Tell me something. In the last battle, I lost sight of you. It was just a few minutes, but it was enough to make me worry.

...

You were spying on me, were you not? Come on, out with it.

...

Come now, what sort of monster do you take me for? I assume you saw me... selflessly save that girl's life. Why is that so bad in your opinion?

You liar! You're no selfless savior! You haven't been honest to us, I'm sure of it!

Really, now? Well, since we're on the subject of being honest, let me remind you of something.

You are a Bernian. The princess' lady-in-waiting! That makes you a rather important figure. Now, tell me...

What would happen if I were to accuse you of being a spy all along!?

!! Lady Guinivere would never--

Oh, she would... believe me, she would.

...

But I'm a merciful man. If you keep your mouth shut, I'll let you live...

...you dastard...

Now leave me. I need to concentrate.

...

...heh... poor fool... if only she knew... she, and all her comrades, are already doomed!

Hahahahahahahahahah!

Part 7 - Death galore! (part I)

On 2/1/2018 at 8:16 PM, Dayni said:

Shin's not her brother.

On 2/1/2018 at 11:18 PM, Franp3 said:

Brother? Isn't he just some random dude?

Yes! Yes! I screwed up! You don't all have to say it! Or at least, if you're going to, spice it up! Call me a fool, or something! Jeez!

...I'm just joking. Yeah, I derped big time there.

On 2/1/2018 at 5:31 PM, KnightOfNohr said:

To be honest, Cath almost isn't worth the trouble. With mediocre stats and growths, plus a lack of a promotion, her combat performance is decidedly subpar, and the hurdles you have to jump through to recruit her makes Chad a much better Thief to use.

"Almost"? She's NOT worth the trouble. But if her survival means more chances of me being inconvenienced in the future, then she shall live.

While she wasn't actually introduced until FE7, the lack of involvement on Lyn's part in The Binding Blade still annoys me quite a bit. That's why my headcanon puts Sue as my favorite Eliebe lord's daughter.

Quite honestly, FE7 just doesn't add much to FE6's lore and story. They made two minor characters the protagonists, as well as introducing a brand new character as a third protagonist, but then the only old-timers from FE6 that feature in FE7 are Bartre, Merlinus and Karel. Where in the world were Yodel, Dayan, Niime (although she was at least mentioned by Canas), Zelot and Yuno, Douglas...?

I can understand not them all appearing, but Douglas must've already been the Great General of Etruria back in FE7. After all, he was already there when Cecilia succeeded Pent, and he was established to already be a veteran then. Pent and Louise were bound to know him. Yet, he isn't mentioned. Correct me if I'm mistaken, but it's almost as if he doesn't exist at all. And Yodel and Niime have a really interesting history together that could've been exploited in FE7, but wasn't.

Instead, they settled for giving a whole lot of backstory to... friggin' Erik. Good job, IntSys.

But at least the story wasn't your standard FE tale. It was quite original, right? It may be a sad excuse for a prequel, but at least the story is good in its own--

Oh... of course.

Okay, rant over. I'm sorry for that.

 

On 2/1/2018 at 8:16 PM, Dayni said:

I don't even do that. And when I say solo, I meant it. No supports for the dodge queen.

Dodge queen or not, she still crumbles down like a house of cards if she's ever hit.

Besides, I'd pick Dorothy, Dieck or Lance anyway to be contrarian. I've never felt much interest in Rutger, though he's still one deadly unit.

You must be the first one to ever say that. Everyone's always like MUH BOSS KILLER!

Gonzales best axe. I don't care if he's as likely to hit someone as Tom Hanks, I always love using him.

Pffhahahahaah. I don't even get it, but it's funny anyways.

Yeah, I barely watch cinema. Got a problem with that?

Oh look, you actually remembered. I'm touched.

I remember every one of my victims.

That sounded less creepy in my mind.

Also dangit, had to remind me.

I mean, you knew what you were going to g--

Okay, this is going nowhere.

Again, a summary of BB's pre-chapter dialogue:

Merlinus: Roy no.

Roy: Roy yes!

Except when it's

Merlinus: Roy yes.

Roy: Roy no!

Like in chapter 6.

Think I've seen Smug Roy (Now called Smoy from here on out) somewhere. Might be better than Leery Marth.

I made that edit back in chapter 2, for the "technically they started the fight so now we have no choice but to defend ourselves" exchange.

GBA smudge, where would we be without it?

Combat shots would certainly be way more boring.

Also his bases are great. So naturally you have to not level him up too much or else you get Sacae. He's also popular as a result.

Yeah, but Tate exists to balance things out.

Oh, right, we're calling her Thea now. Accursed Heroes...

What are the powers of Human Mr. Potato Head, that he can ignore the RNG so thoroughly?

Only time shall tell.

Also, for the record, I didn't cheat there. I just got a lucky miss and thought I'd use that for the fanfic.

At least he ain't Pretzel.

God forbid!

You'll come around at this rate. Calling it.

Or she'll die next chapter. Can see that too.

A thousand blistering blue barnacles in a barrel, nobody's going to die today! I HAVE A PLAN!

I can get Merlinus liking Human Mr. Potato Head (now known as Humphry), though Marcus seems a little too quick to do so. Must have been easily Rubed up the wrong way before.

I think he's just relieved he's not me.

Also, Marcus and Merlinus may have expected too much good as everyone barring Eliwood is worse than in BS 20 years ago. Nostalgia eh? Don't be so smug Marcus, you can't near solo the game this time!

...what are you talking about? Both Bartre and Karel are better in Binding Blade. Sure, Karel comes extremely late, but his bases are beastly and his growths even more so. And Bartre has bases this time around. If anybody's worse, that's Merlinus and Marcus themselves.

Also yeesh, Sid got left in the dust. Small mercies that Ruben and Wrys showed up while running away right?

I mean, I owed the poor guy that much, after killing him three times in three chapters.

 

On 2/1/2018 at 11:18 PM, Franp3 said:

One of the most annoying? Who is this mysterious character that I don't know about?

I mean yeah, Douglas exists, but still...

I actually like Douglas, he's an interesting challenge to overcome, so... yeah. Clarine!

Excellent edit right there.

Hah! Thanks, man.

Look, a non-sarcastic, actually positive Franp3 comment! It only happens once in a blue moon clipse or something.

Considering I have no idea what a "clipse" is, it might be every day at dawn for all I know!

Kinda unrelated, but I just realized we won't have any smug/unimpressed mugshots in this LP, because people lost the ability to blink somewhere between FE7 and FE6.

Yeah, a shame. But it's fine, I'll do it myself if the occasion arises.

Debatable.

Sure, Yodel, but...

...yeah, debatable indeed.

The axe siblings kill a Lot of people this chapter.

God damnit!

Spoiler

This guy looks rather familiar. I can't quite put my finger on what it is, though.

So, "You Should" here was called "Devias" in the old translation, which at least wasn't a completely unrelated spanish word. Frankly, I prefer the literal translation of his name, with which I came across while browsing the blog of Fire Emblem: Sword of Heaven and Earth with the help of google translate.

I'm already looking forward to recruiting "Fill" to get that badass "Japanese sword medicine".

She not necessary, you got the power of De Beers!

But enough of that. We've got preparations to prepare.

First, trading shenanigans.

And now, let's take a look at the map.

Hoo, boy. This map is hard. People are always shitting on Arcadia, but they seem to always forget about this chapter.

I can understand why. The human mind tends to block traumatic memories. Psychogenic Amnesia, if you want to sound cultured without actually knowing what you're talking about, unbeknownst to your interlocutor.

And you might think "bah, how hard can it be? How strong can the enemies be this early on?

Here, take a look at Bern's wyvern riders. They're as fast as a Mercenary, as strong as Wade, have more defense than anybody in the map aside from the beer master, and are quite accurate to boot. And there are three of them! One is stationary, but the others will charge at us the moment the map starts.

Right you are, Legance. But how do I wish you weren't. For once, the hyped up enemies actually do live up to their reputation in the gameplay.

Oh, and if you thought you could chip them to death? THINK AGAIN, because there are fucking physic Priests! And not just one, but two of them! Dodgy little sons of bougainvillea that will ruin all your attempts at killing the Wyverns in more than one turn. And rest assured, we WILL need more than one turn to kill them.

And that's not all! The asshole reinforcements are strong with this one! The chapter pulls all sorts of underhanded tricks to kill people!

And that's still not all! There are NPCs here, and neither will they be ignored by the enemy like Clarine, nor do they spawn in a convenient position to be recruited by Roy, because OF COURSE it has to be Roy.

And if you thought that was all, think again! Because guess what, this is still a damned Ironman run! If we lose half our army in this chapter, we might as well call it quits, 'cause we're never going to beat what's coming ahead!

But at least the boss shouldn't be too much trouble, right? After getting an easy peasy magician boss, I'm pretty sure De Beers, being a fatass and all--

OH COME ON! NOT ANOTHER KNIGHT ON A THRONE! Because OF COURSE it's not a gate! If it was a gate, it would be a little easier, and it would actually make sense geographically speaking! but NOPE! NO REST FOR THE WEARY! THE FATSO IS SITTING ON A RANDOM THRONE IN THE FRONT ENTRANCE OF THE CASTLE! And he has a spear, so you can't even let your chumps get close, lest you risk losing someone right at the end of the map!

AND THAT'S STILL-- Nah, that's all, let's get to the plot already.

The map begins with De Beers moving aside to let his boss, Raygans, sit on the random throne at the front entrance of Castle Ostia.

I can't think of any reason to put that there, other than to make the boss harder to kill. And that's not a very good reason to explain the characters' motivations to place a god damn useless throne in the front gate! Why, Hector? Why is that there!? Was it you? Was it Uther? Was it your parents?

But enough of the throne. The Beers speaks to Elegance about how the Ilian mercenaries don't want to join them.

Imagine if Zelot were to attack us as well. Thank you, IntSys, for not doing that too. Kaga would have, but hey, one doesn't have to worship absolutely everything a person does.

Thankfully, these are the worst mercenaries ever (in a good way, this time), so they refuse to profit from their jobs.

Then Legance just lashes out at De Beers for no reason at all.

These are some deep, complex villains we've got here, I tell you.

I liked the original version of this line better. "He'll laugh at us!" sounded so delightfully pathetic.

To be fair, Legance's plan is pretty decent. Too bad he didn't stop to consider that maybe, just maaaybe, the traitors that didn't remain loyal to Hector might not be too loyal to him either.

I already showed this, but it begs repeating. Urgh...

"As well as the random throne at the top of the stairs. It must not fall into the hands of the enemy! I like sitting here in the mornings with a cup of hot chocolate! They must not take that small pleasure away from me!"

The next chapter should be easier than this one, but don't think for a second that Legance is going to pull his punches, either. His chapter's got its own deal of assholeness.

Cut to our heroes! These people are bad and deserve to die.

Yeah, this whole chapter is disgraceful. I agree with you there, Merlinus.

But I'll admit, it was one hell of an intense chapter. I liked that. Ironman runs have that going for them, at least.

That said, I wouldn't recommend them to anybody with depression or a heart condition. Jeez. It's been a day since I played this at the time of writing this phrase, but my heart is still pumping.

Too bad they probably will be slaughtered. Except for Zelot.

Oh, that reminds me, I'd forgotten one last punch in the gut from the chapter: if Zelot dies, wave Maltet goodbye, because he's required to be alive to access the Ilia gaiden chapter! This dick move, of course, isn't exclusive to this chapter, but everywhere else you can just bench him if you're too afraid of losing him. Which leads us to the conclusion that this chapter is the worst thing ever.

Hahahahahahah. HAHAHAHAHAAH! HELP, HE SAYS!

Poor fool. If only he knew just how much danger he's going to get into trying to talk to them...

I apologize for the bitterness. I'm just glad I'm not the one taking the blame for this chapter. It's just a character I made up.

...now I regret being me in my commentary. That means I cannot shield myself in any way.

Wait a minute, you spoke to them? And returned to us? On your own? Without them?

Merlinus could've brought those bastards here to automatically join at the beginning of the chapter.

...

...

...

...Merlinus...!

That would've worked better if I was still old Barlowe, but, eh, he's still my profile picture I suppose...

Whoa. Disdainful much, Your Highness Guinivere?

That is not what she asked you! Accursed senile fart... this is the worst offense you've ever commited! Not this, the other thing! My thoughts still dwell on that, okay? I seriously didn't realize the implications of that line until now, after playing through the disaster that was this chapter! So forgive me for being a liiiiiiiiittle bitter!

No, they aren't. Less so thanks to the damned merchant!

Oh, what an asshole. If he wasn't such an important character to the plot, I'd kill him off this instant!

In fact, I will!

(And so, I opened paint.net and killed him off right after writing those lines)

There you go. I apologize for the gore. It's just... doggone it. Urgh! This chapter is all his fault!

This is his ghost. Making an actual ghostly sprite would be almost as tedious as FE12's cropping sessions, so let's just say his ghost is extremely similar to his living version. So much so, in fact, everyone else thinks he's still alive. But he isn't. Not in my heart.

No, don't worry, Narcian won't spawn with a bunch of level 20 Wyvern Lords in turn 25 or anything like that. Thank God for that. It's probably the one punch this chapter pulled.

Still, this is a great threat story-wise! How are our heroes and the ghost going to avoid death by Wyvern?

Why, by using Roy's connections!

Flaaaashbaaaaack~

What cursor? What are you talking about?

What cursor?!? I can't see anything there!

Yeah! I do!

I suppose that's true...

I know how to move my legs, thank you...

Yes, I can see him. You don't need to state the obvious.

HP? Game over? What is this nonsense? I'm confused...

Stop stating the obvious! I've eyes!

My rapier?

Ah...

I can't use magic! I thought we'd established that the day I failed to cast a simple fire spell!

That wasn't a very believable scream...

But I still don't know what a cursor is!

End of flashback!

That was too easy... but it was worth it.

And if we don't have Etruria solve this Lycian matter, there'll be no Lycia to not be taken seriously again!

...exactly! What he said! Why do people dislike this guy? He might be rather boring, but at least he isn't a bumbling idiot people worship for no reason. He's actually got brains to back his success up.

His performance as a unit is an entirely different issue, don't even bring it up.

I bet he's going to object aga--

...oh, my... is that... Merlinus... agreeing with Roy...?

Dear God... but why would they be so merciful?

Oh. Right. This is coming right after Merlinus just casually mentioned he spoke to the mercenaries and then failed to lead them to us.

The letter has to make it all the way to Etruria, then Cecilia has to pull the necessary strings, and then they have to make it all the way here. Yeah, that's not happening.

Yeah... hopefully.

So, we begin by moving forward. I already regret it. And I don't even know if I've done anything wrong yet!

Lance is okay, at least.

But he won't be for very long. The Wyvern is coming.

Here are Treck and Zelot. I'll delve deeper into their statistical potentiality and actuality later. For now, let's watch them appear at the worst possible location.

They mention that Noah is at the arena. He actually appears at a more sensible location, but he has to be recruited by Roy like the others, so by the point he appears, Roy is bound to be as far away from him as he is from these two when they first appear.

Heh heh... you're in mortal danger! Hah hah hah hah!

Your sorry lives depend on me and my strategies! Hahahahah!

...what is he doing...? It's as if he is responding to voices I cannot hear... Elimine help us...

Yeah! Don't even wait for us! One more turn would've been enough! But nope, everyone has a death wish in this chapter.

- Zerrot is a more powerful Marcus, at a time when Marcus is supposed to be falling off.

My Marcus, though, is stronger, more skilled, and luckier than the guy while barely losing out in defense and HP and matching his speed. What I'm trying to tell you is, we won't be needing Jelot, because my Marcus already does the job.

- Treck is often considered the worst of the Cavaliers, and really, he is. While Noah at least has his high sword rank going for him, Treck is just an underleveled, run-of-the-mill lance Cavalier with meh bases and meh growths. He's usable, but there certainly are better options. This means I will probably be using him.

Now, shall we get to the missing?

Yeah. That's an extremely awkward position. You know why? Because these bumbling idiots wouldn't land a hit if their lives depended on it! And guess what: they actually do!

In any case, let's worry about that when it becomes a problem. For now, we are given free foreshadowing.

Merlinus died again. Hmph. That was faster than I would've liked. He could've drawn away some m--

...

...

My literal reaction to this was just to shrug my shoulders with an expression of resignation and just mild frustration. What can I say, I knew this would happen.

This, however, I wasn't expecting. And considering losing Chad would mean losing not just one but two units, I jumped on my seat a little.

Up north, Wreck is being trecked. Oh, sorry, I meant Dreck is being Trecket.

Uh...

But at least Roy is doing well, isn't he?

Alas, 'twas not to be. At least he's alive.

I have, quite literally, three competent units in my team. Lance was okay too, but... well, no longer.

Oh my God, can it be? Have we survived a turn?

...well, not Lance, but...

...

...I don't know about you guys, but I had a very lukewarm reaction to Lance's death. The guy had awful defenses, which made it a flying risk to use him at all. And, well, I really didn't have anybody else to put there.

...oh, what am I saying, I just screwed up big time like always! Why can't I be good?! I love this series! Why can't I be good at it?! Don't I deserve some mercy, having decided to show the world my failings?!

...urkk...

At least Jealrot is doing his job okay.

Suddenly, here's Noah. Who has finally noticed he's got job to do.

But first, he berates Fir for challenging him.

Second, arena tutorials! Because, I mean, it's not as if your boss and colleague are out there risking their necks!

"I'm braindead and need obvious facts to be spelled out to me! I'm a generic millennial girl!"

Okay, okay, I'm sorry for that. Again. I don't know why, I'm not even angry in real life, but today I'm feeling like being an asshole in the LP.

Forgive me, okay? It's chapter 7, FE6. I deserve some leeway.

"Please, keep on talking. I never did like Treck anyways."

Actually, their support is really good. Go read it. Some call it the best support in the game, and for good reason.

But they're no fighters! They may be strong when it comes to swinging pickaxes around, but if they know nothing about swordfighting, you're going to make mince meat out of them in seconds, and learn nothing!

Look, something that was actually explored further in FE7!

...if you promoted Bartre and trained him up to level 5 (which, by the way, isn't even his starting level in this game. Way to go, IntSys)...

...and brought him to chapter 31x...

...and made him fight, but not kill, the random swordfighter that popped out of the arena and didn't even have the decency to mention his name so as to give players a clue...

...and made them support together, despite Karla being an awful unit with just barely more playable time than Renault...

...and did all this in Hector mode, because it didn't work in Eliwood's for some reason.

 

I said rant over, damnit, me! Shut up and go get your units killed already!

How very cute.

Ha indeed! Now could you please move it?

And so, Fir comes out of the arena, leaves the map, and then Noah comes out as well.

Noah is probably better than Treck, because while his growths are worse, his bases are sightly better, and he's set up to be used as a sword Cavalier, with a con of ten that allows him to wield steel swords with ease, and a good sword rank at C. He's decent. I've used him, and while his growths do hurt him, he's definitely very usable.

Time to recruit these two. Treck needs to put a few kilometers between his throat and the Wyvern Rider, and I need Jerrot to save Roy's sorry ass.

Treck might not be such a good unit, but personality wise? He's good. The guy doesn't give a damn about anything, it's hilarious.

Excellent. Now get the hell away from here before the Bernians destroy you.

Never mind, Roy demands to conversate!

Sounds reasonable.

Still what? Just imagine, what if Roy managed to convince Treck that he needs to check in with his commander and he remained green for one more turn... uuurrrk! On second thought, don't imagine it. I just had goosebumps...

There we go, now we've got Treck on our side.

And here comes Zearrot.

Concise and to-the-point. That's Zealot for you.

Although, I don't know why he'd leave negotiations with us to Treck of all people.

Now, Treck, run away. Jerrot, grab Roy and run. Marcus will cover your retreat.

Everyone else, pick a god and pray.

Especially you, Rutger.

Yes, yes, I know, I know.

Now, let's kill this guy. Or at least die trying.

Place your bets, everyone. If Wade misses, we're done for.

 

 

 

Ah, sweet Elimine, at last! Some luck!

What is this doing here? Imguuuuuuuuuur! I was wondering where this'd gone... I reuploaded the screencap thinking it had gone missing!

In any case. I don't think Elen is going to survive this, so please, hand over your valuables and prepare for the end of all things.

Never mind, that asshat cannot reach you. We're good.

Goodness gracious... but at least one of the Wyverns is down.

Our guys are attacked, but to no avail. I always liked Jerrot's palette. It's a toss-up between him and this game's Marcus for my favourite GBA Paladin sprite, really.

Too bad about my Marcus being far better than his competitor.

More missing. Not even the Wyvern Riders are a match for the old-timer!

Rutger, on the other hand...

What can I say. You were a useful sacrificial lamb.

Now be done fading away, and let's move on to more important matters.

Like this asshole

Or Noah thankfully moving to a forest. So long as he stays in the woods, he'll have a chance.

Chad's going to leave that corner. I do not want to lose him. Raigh's my favourite unit, and I will use him, whether this game likes it or not.

But first, how about my 31425626425th miss?

Marcus may not be in any danger, but he cannot really harm the Wyvern either.

This is the risky part: having nowhere to place Roy safely, I send Jerrot in while still carrying him. But it's Jerrot. I'm sure he'll be all right.

Agh! Not the flashbangs again!

The light fades to show Dorothy finally getting a good level up. Kudos to you.

I've not much else to do with these guys, so let's just visit this village.

I honestly have no idea who this woman is talking about. Rutger? But no, that wouldn't make any sense... he's a "man dying in the street", for sure, but not "a while back", that's for sure.

Okay, so Saul can take a hit. Therefore...

...uh, Clarine will lure one of the cavaliers away from the others.

This isn't going to end well, is it?

The Ilian Mercenaries all take some punishment. But it's nothing that can take down the likes of them, am I right?

Oh, no, that's bad news. That Mage's got an elfire tome, and Treck has no resistance.

Down south, OH NO JERROT GETS DOUBLED, ABORT, ABOOORT! RETREAT! DUCK! DO A BARREL ROLL!

NOOOOOOOOOOOO MALTEEEEEET!

Now I'll have to take the Sacae route if I want to win the game...

If we survive, that is!

Yes! Yes! Roy's our boy! Roy's--

Fucking DEAD!

...

...

So, I don't think I've addressed this situation in this LP. What if the Lord dies after somebody else also bit the dust?

Well, in the last LP, the rule was supposed to be "I kill them off as soon as possible", but really, the only times it happened, I either used them strategically as a sacrificial lamb, or didn't have the heart to kill them off and just "honorably discharged them".

There's also the fact that I can't win if Jerrot's dead. And I think, after all, you guys would like to see me win.

So yeah. If the guy lives the next time around, I'll just bench him for life.

I'll wait 'til after the chapter is actually over to add him, Lance and Rutger to the death count. Just in case I lose any of them again. Me being who I am, it's perfectly possible. Probable, even.

...

I lost Jerrot. Do you guys understand what that entails? I'm so bad, I lost a friggin' Jeigan early on.

Christ. I need to lie down. See you guys next time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Death count: Bors
                        Wolt
                        Deke
                        Lugh

Reset count: 2

Merlinus death count: 6

[Dayni]

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

...what are you talking about? Both Bartre and Karel are better in Binding Blade. Sure, Karel comes extremely late, but his bases are beastly and his growths even more so. And Bartre has bases this time around. If anybody's worse, that's Merlinus and Marcus themselves.

Forgot with Karel to be fair (though he also has the issue of being the game's Gotoh), and Bartre might have bases now, but he's on the B Route so more often than not he doesn't exist for me.

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Hoo, boy. This map is hard. People are always shitting on Arcadia, but they seem to always forget about this chapter.

I have not forgotten. The struggle for Treck is real.

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Wait a minute, you spoke to them? And returned to us? On your own? Without them?

.....HOLY CRAP MERLINUS YOU ARE THE ABSOLUTE WORST!

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

That was too easy... but it was worth it.

Well, I should get round to that thing I said earlier after this fabulous edit.

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

...exactly! What he said! Why do people dislike this guy? He might be rather boring, but at least he isn't a bumbling idiot people worship for no reason. He's actually got brains to back his success up.

His performance as a unit is an entirely different issue, don't even bring it up.

That's part of my issue. He seems a little too competent in the cutscenes, not really getting much in the way of emotional moments. So for me he might be a bit too perfect in story.

In game totally balances that out until chapter 22.

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

The letter has to make it all the way to Etruria, then Cecilia has to pull the necessary strings, and then they have to make it all the way here. Yeah, that's not happening.

So it has to arrive wherever she is (likely by pigeon), she has to gather a powerful force and a second general and all in the time it takes for Roy to take two thrones in close places.

Roy must have perfect Charisma rolled or something.

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

- Treck is often considered the worst of the Cavaliers, and really, he is. While Noah at least has his high sword rank going for him, Treck is just an underleveled, run-of-the-mill lance Cavalier with meh bases and meh growths. He's usable, but there certainly are better options. This means I will probably be using him.

I try to use him. I really do.

I don't know if I could use him legitimately.

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

...

My literal reaction to this was just to shrug my shoulders with an expression of resignation and just mild frustration. What can I say, I knew this would happen.

That face is also effective imo. Dang.

Also, down a pretty good unit there.

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Man dying in Ostia, who gets saved and passes his sword on, likely before moving on.

Oujay maybe? Karel? One of the series's many swordsmen wandering the world after the war they were part of?

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

HOW DOES HUMPHREY EXPLAIN THIS ONE?

Wait, how does Ruben explain the other times then?

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

So, I don't think I've addressed this situation in this LP. What if the Lord dies after somebody else also bit the dust?

Well, in the last LP, the rule was supposed to be "I kill them off as soon as possible", but really, the only times it happened, I either used them strategically as a sacrificial lamb, or didn't have the heart to kill them off and just "honorably discharged them".

There's also the fact that I can't win if Jerrot's dead. And I think, after all, you guys would like to see me win.

So yeah. If the guy lives the next time around, I'll just bench him for life.

I'll wait 'til after the chapter is actually over to add him, Lance and Rutger to the death count. Just in case I lose any of them again. Me being who I am, it's perfectly possible. Probable, even.

I've always felt you were intentionally too strict on this, but I get it.

Course, I'd also rather not kill the lord off just for a reset.

3 hours ago, Rubenio said:

I assume you meant lunch.

Also the LP isn't in the spoiler for the most part.

Could be worse, the images might not have loaded at all.

[Saint Rubenio]

31 minutes ago, Dayni said:

Also the LP isn't in the spoiler for the most part.

I know, and it pisses me off. I tried to fix it like 5 times, but every time, Serenes told me it was impossible to edit the comment because "either it was moved or removed", and, well, that's obviously not true, or "too much time had passed", and considering I tried to edit it 5 seconds after pushing the update... yeah. I sent a message to Eclipse, maybe when she gets some free time from doing actually important moderator things she'll fix my fuck ups for me.

Also, yeah, I meant lunch. I'm dumb, okay?

[Franp3]

4 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Considering I have no idea what a "clipse" is,

Would you believe me if I told you I facepalmed IRL when I read that?

 

4 hours ago, Rubenio said:

People are always shitting on Arcadia, but they seem to always forget about this chapter.

I don't presume to speak for everyone, but the problem with Arcadia is that it only screws you over if you don't use the right kind of units (Fliers and mages), which is really unfair to the player. This one, on the contrary, is more or less doable with any team.

 

4 hours ago, Rubenio said:

This dick move, of course, isn't exclusive to this chapter,

Sophia says hello.

 

4 hours ago, Rubenio said:

That would've worked better if I was still old Barlowe, but, eh, he's still my profile picture I suppose...

That reminds me, we've had surprisingly few instances of Haddock insults so far.

 

4 hours ago, Rubenio said:

- Treck is often considered the worst of the Cavaliers,

ANECDOTE TIME!

For my second playthrough of this game, I decided I didn't hate it enough and decided to do a Horses Only run. Treck ended up being the best of the four cavs, Allan and Lance ended up in second place with the exact same stat total, and Noah got left in the dust.
Milady and arena abuse were the only things that got me past chapter 16, in case you were wondering.

 

4 hours ago, Rubenio said:

What can I say. You were a useful sacrificial lamb.

Quick, I need an appropiate song!

Perfect.

 

4 hours ago, Rubenio said:

NOOOOOOOOOOOO MALTEEEEEET!

Welp. Better start training Sue then.

 

4 hours ago, Rubenio said:

Oh.

 

[DestructionDragon360]

Yes!! My favorite cavalier in FE6 well get used if he survives!

I honestly, truly love Treck. He's got 3 more levels to grow than Noah, and his growths are frankly, quite passable for Binding Blade. If he proccs enough speed, he can easily overtake the christmas cavs. Plus! His most outstanding trait is his high luck, which is wonderful in a game where dodging crits is probably more important than ever.

Also, like you said, he just Does Not Give a shit. He's more likely to fall asleep on his horse than he is to show emotion.

[KnightOfNohr]

Is it just me, or does the new tactician resemble the Neighbor from Hello Neighbor?

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/H8z2B3w2JU4/maxresdefault.jpg

Edited January 4, 2018 by KnightOfNohr

[Saint Rubenio]

Yes! Hahahahah!

Die, all of you!

Bring forth victory for the true saviors of mankind!

GWAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAH!

You! Foul man... I knew it! You are a servant of evil!

Argh! You startled me, Lady Elen!

I shall not stand for this! I will--

You will what, young lady?

I will send a letter to Lady Cecilia of Etruria. She's already on her way here to help defeat the rebels. I'm sure she won't have a problem with taking care of you, as well.

Accursed-- you have no idea what you're dealing with!

Maybe so. But I can see it in your face... you cannot afford to make an enemy of Etruria.

Not yet.

...

...very well, you win.

Sir Marcus! Sound the retreat! Lord Roy has fallen!

W-what?!

Quickly, you must get him and the other wounded out of here! There might still be time...

At once!

 

 

 

 

 

How are you feeling, Lance?

...I'd say I'm fine, but I'd be lying.

Don't worry about it, Lance. This wasn't your fault. Look, stay here at the camp. We'll go and--

No, Sir Marcus. I'd much rather go and fight.

But...

These wounds... they are grievous. But I can still fight. I can do this. One last battle for my liege... I want nothing more.

...I can't say I don't understand. Very well. But don't get ahead of yourself, please.

I'm truly sorry. I am to blame for this. I'm ready for whatever punishment you've in store for me.

Lord Roy wishes to give you one more chance.

...very well. Thank you.

...

Did everyone make it out alive?

I'm not sure. I was able to get to Lord Roy, and Lance insisted on riding out of the town with him while I covered their retreat. But I don't know about Rutger or Sir Jerrot.

Hmm... in that case, we should make haste. They might still be alive.

Let us go, then. I'll earn your trust back.

I certainly hope so.

...

Not a word, you. My powers are not to be trifled with. You'd do well not to anger me further.

...

Part 8 - Death galore! (Part II).

So, apparently the last part is going to remain fucked. It doesn't matter. It's no more crappy than my FE skills, anyway. However, I would appreciate if you guys could make an effort to push in enough replies to send us to the third page. It's annoying to scroll down with that thing occupying half the thread.

I was adviced to split up my posts, so I'll do that. Tell me what you think. I've written the whole thing as one big update, and I'll be pushing them together, so I recommend reading both before moving on to replying and forgetting.

On 4/1/2018 at 4:33 PM, Dayni said:

Forgot with Karel to be fair (though he also has the issue of being the game's Gotoh), and Bartre might have bases now, but he's on the B Route so more often than not he doesn't exist for me.

Fair enough.

I have not forgotten. The struggle for Treck is real.

Hah. The irony...

.....HOLY CRAP MERLINUS YOU ARE THE ABSOLUTE WORST!

Damned dead man!

Well, I should get round to that thing I said earlier after this fabulous edit.

Hahah! Thanks. But, please don't do that. Merlinus is still awful.

That's part of my issue. He seems a little too competent in the cutscenes, not really getting much in the way of emotional moments. So for me he might be a bit too perfect in story.

In game totally balances that out until chapter 22.

I actually like the balance. Roy is a very smart person, but he's an awful fighter, and also has quite a few self-steem issues, as seen in his supports. He's not a bad protagonist. Certainly better than Pretzel.

So it has to arrive wherever she is (likely by pigeon), she has to gather a powerful force and a second general and all in the time it takes for Roy to take two thrones in close places.

Roy must have perfect Charisma rolled or something.

Either that or Wrys used a warp staff. But that isn't a good explanation for the original game's situation.

I try to use him. I really do.

I don't know if I could use him legitimately.

Well, we shall see, right?

That face is also effective imo. Dang.

Thanks. I thought of adding more stuff, but I figured it was gruesome enough as it was.

Also, down a pretty good unit there.

Woohoo! Incompetence!

Man dying in Ostia, who gets saved and passes his sword on, likely before moving on.

Oujay maybe? Karel? One of the series's many swordsmen wandering the world after the war they were part of?

Nah, Oujay ain't the type to carry killer edges around, I feel. I'd say Karel is the best bet.

HOW DOES HUMPHREY EXPLAIN THIS ONE?

Wait, how does Ruben explain the other times then?

Other times it's not canon and I call it a day. This time...

I've always felt you were intentionally too strict on this, but I get it.

Course, I'd also rather not kill the lord off just for a reset.

Hey, some may not believe me, but I've never done that in purpose. I'm not that much of a rancid cheater.

I assume you meant lunch.

God darn it all to hell! Doryphoresque typos, fuck!

Also the LP isn't in the spoiler for the most part.

Could be worse, the images might not have loaded at all.

Don't tempt fate. I'm having enough issues with Imgur as it is.

 

On 4/1/2018 at 5:35 PM, Franp3 said:

Would you believe me if I told you I facepalmed IRL when I read that?

Hahahahah. My job here is done.

I don't presume to speak for everyone, but the problem with Arcadia is that it only screws you over if you don't use the right kind of units (Fliers and mages), which is really unfair to the player. This one, on the contrary, is more or less doable with any team.

Fair enough, although I wouldn't say "any team". Especially not if you're playing perfectionist. Me, I can just leave behind half my army and move on. It's one of the good things of this being an ironman LP.

Sophia says hello.

I actually meant that Jerrot could die in any chapter, but of course, he's not the only one with an arbitrary survival requirement. Stupid Zeiss...

That reminds me, we've had surprisingly few instances of Haddock insults so far.

What do you mean by that, you logarithm?!

ANECDOTE TIME!

For my second playthrough of this game, I decided I didn't hate it enough and decided to do a Horses Only run. Treck ended up being the best of the four cavs, Allan and Lance ended up in second place with the exact same stat total, and Noah got left in the dust.
Milady and arena abuse were the only things that got me past chapter 16, in case you were wondering.

Amazing. Poor Noah, though.

Quick, I need an appropiate song!

Perfect.

Baaah...

Welp. Better start training Sue then.

Oh.

Heh... yeah, he was still carrying Roy, remember? Auugh...

 

On 4/1/2018 at 5:36 PM, DestructionDragon360 said:

Yes!! My favorite cavalier in FE6 well get used if he survives!

I honestly, truly love Treck. He's got 3 more levels to grow than Noah, and his growths are frankly, quite passable for Binding Blade. If he proccs enough speed, he can easily overtake the christmas cavs. Plus! His most outstanding trait is his high luck, which is wonderful in a game where dodging crits is probably more important than ever.

Yeah, I like him also. Although, I am the same guy who despises Rutger, so I don't know if I'm worth listening to.

Also, like you said, he just Does Not Give a shit. He's more likely to fall asleep on his horse than he is to show emotion.

His supports are great. The guy forgets his own name, it's amazing how dedicated he is to not being dedicated to anything.

 

On 4/1/2018 at 6:21 PM, KnightOfNohr said:

Is it just me, or does the new tactician resemble the Neighbor from Hello Neighbor?

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/H8z2B3w2JU4/maxresdefault.jpg

Huh, it's true. It's certainly not intentional, I know almost nothing about that game aside from the fact that "it's that one game all the mainstream youtubers I don't watch play".

Spoiler

Here we go again. Next plan: the actually good units will go north while everyone else tries to survive.

Okay. Not too bad.

Now, Lot will equip the axe of mass destruction while Wade destroys this Knight. Not too bad. Luck's on my side, for now.

Yes, I'm reusing this screen from the first run.

Are you feeling okay, Commander?

I've been better, but at least I am alive. Thank you, Treck.

Uh huh. You're welcome, Boss...

I'd never seen that side of you... you looked so menacing, the rebels fled at the sight of you. Not even Bern's Wyverns stood a chance.

Guess I just didn't want to see you die like that.

Heh. Thank you, Treck. Thank you truly. But we've still work to do, and I still have some fight left in me. Shall we move out again?

Yes, Sir!

Merlinus drew two guys away from the main team this time around. Good effort, Merchant.

HAHAHAHAHAH! SUCH A SATISFYING SIGHT! SUFFER THE PUNISHMENT FOR DEFYING ME, YOU SEA-GHERKIN!

...wait, I'm not supposed to be the tactician this time around!

Ergh, this happens, too.

This time around, Marcus won't be dropping Roy just yet. It's too dangerous a spot. I'll just wait for now, and hope the greenies stay put.

They do about as well as could be expected.

Would you look at that. 0% hit chance. Lot, you're amazing.

...not yet... I must... claim my vengeance... curse you, Bern... I...

A thousand curses be lain upon you, dastard!

The mercenaries do just what I expected them to. But I still don't want to risk turning them blue. The Wyvern is far too close. Roy wouldn't make it.

Marcus was starting to look a lot worse for the wear, and I cannot afford to lose him at this stage. Heal up!

Good Lord, these two. Wade's not that amazing, all things considered, but Lot, hoo boy.

And now, the weaklings may run the hell away. They shouldn't be in much danger overthere. And Lance should be strong enough to protect them from a Cavalier or two. So long as the Wyvern doesn't make his way down there, we'll be fine.

Foul flying warriors of Bern... treacherous cowards of Ostia... come... I... shall be your opponent!

Lord Roy... do not fail me... do not fail all those who fell before me... the justice... we deserve... guh...!

Eh, not too ba--

AAGH okay I was not expecting that.

Lot! After I hyped you up so much...

...and you go, and exceed all of my expectations! Hah!

You aren't as epic, but hey, I like you too.

All things considered, it was a pretty good turn. Treck almost died, but there was nothing I could've done about it. Let's just all be glad he dodged that Knight.

Playing through this chapter, I felt like I wasn't making progress. Seriously, look at this! I killed one guy in that damned turn! And it was Lot's lucky crit! And the ones I managed to wound severely were healed up inmediately!

But at least the greenies have stuck toge--

Treck! Where are you going?

Noah, no! That's closer to the enemy!

Okay, but at least he's still in a forest... and he's got full health. He should be fine.

ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!

At least this guy is never going to get to use that tome to screw us over... but it still means Jerrot's out of reach!

Jeez, look at that speed. What sort of Fighter is this?

A very good one, I can tell you that much.

 

Wade, too, does quite well. That's two more guys down. It's something.

Lance, well, I can't blame him for missing this time. He can't see very well.

This isn't good, which is about par for the course in this chapter. At least we haven't lost anybody important yet, which is certainly an improvement over the last attempt.

Why, you... guess he'll get to live. I wish I could say "just a little longer".

He'll live.

He'll... enough already! How many more people can possibly go after Noah!?

AAAAAARGH! NOAH! GO AFTER NOAH! I BEG YOU!

This is all irrelevant. The Wyvern has made it to the healers. We're screwed.

Of course, wound Lance too, will you! Wear down the one guy who has a slight chance of living in that group!

Wasn't his eye enough?

Nitwitted ninepin! Slave-trader! Woodlice! Mameluke! Olympic Athlete! Psychopath! Phylloxera! Slubberdegullion! Anthracite! ASSHOLE!!

You know what the worst part about it is? The other healer didn't even more. We've done so little in terms of damage, the other guy wasn't needed. Aaah this chapter...

Treck, nooooooooooooooo!

Well, at least he's out of the way.

Good, Jerrot's closer to the action. Just where we need him! Now Treck is safe, and even if he moves back into the fray next turn, we'll have Zealot ready to recruit him. Guys, you've done me--

Noah, noooooo!

Well, he's dead.

Might as well kiss him goodbye and move on to the task at hand. That is, the invincible Wyvern.

Lance can at least clear up the way for Jerrot or something. If he can hit both times, that is. But I don't think we've much of a chance. Somebody will die. It is inevitable.

Small victories.

Yeah... I've just given up Clarine. Why? Because I've two healers already.

Indeed, I could've sacrificed Dorothy, who is nearly useless, but I believe in her. She'll turn around.

Besides, she may live yet! The chances are slim, but they exist! She's supposed to be the dodge queen, am I right?

Slowly but surely, the map's starting to look a lot emptier. Mostly thanks to the axe siblings.

Okay, so here's what we'll be doing: Jerrot will approach the southern group and assist Lance in bailing the weaklings out of there, while Marcus covers the rear and Clarine buys us time with her death. Roy will wait with Marcus to recruit Treck.

I know, I know, it's not good to strategize around sacrificing units, but this is chapter 7. You want the LP to continue?

Noah and Clarine might...

...nah, I'm sorry. I can't. They're done for.

Yeah. He didn't stand a chance without the forest's protection.

Your "best" wasn't very good. But I did like you, so this... wasn't pleasant to see. I'm afraid it was inevitable, however.

Look, the dodge queen is at work!

Ergh...

Well, she did her job. Thanks, Clarine. You weren't despicable for once. Now go in peace.

But we're not out of the woods yet. Wade's extremely wounded, and I refuse to lose him. Same goes for Elen, although with less emphasis on "refuse".

Treck goes back to the frontlines, as expected. He might just be my last hope for a Cavalier, so we'd better make sure he doesn't make the same mistake as Noah.

And so, we get everyone out of the Wyvern's range. Clarine's valiant sacrifice ensured everybody else from her group could make it out in time.

Of course, the Wyvern's still alive, but we should be able to fight it now that there's almost nobody left in this side of the map.

Treck is recruited. And hey, since he was already working on it...

Let's-- SCREW YOU, FE6!

SCREW YOU WITH A SCREWDRIVER! FUCKING RNG!

At least the Mage can't make it to him. Elimine bless that awkwardly placed forest.

These two are still at it. Wade takes the forest. Lot and his astronomical speed don't need it.

Okay, it's not looking so bad. The Wyvern is still alive, but at least we aren't being assaulted by a thousand other enemies any more.

Hey, that's nice! I'm about 77% sure the Mage can't make it to Treck, but he definitely cannot get to Roy, so it's a good thing this guy threw his javelin at him.

That's it. Pretty good turn. Although the Wyvern is back on our tail.

Okay, everybody will run north while Marcus covers their retreat. If we are to be attacked, we might as well only be attacked by one guy.

The bulk of the rebel forces are still attacking the axe siblings, although they're starting to make it dangerously close to Sue and Chad (yeah, those two have been cowering away from the enemy in that corner all this time). If everything else fails, Lot will have to cover the entrance to their hiding spot.

Okay, g--

Ah! Saul!

...hmm. Well, as it turns out, it's a good thing that asshole went after Saul. The Mage can't do anything on his own, but they may have very well been able to finish Lance off if they both ganged up on him.

This happens too, which means Lot now has no way of attacking his enemies at range. Well, aside from Wade's own handaxe, but that one's also in pretty bad shape.

The rest is just the usual stuff.

Okay, so, thanks to that bastardly Knight, I cannot get Saul out of that corner. Surprisingly enough, he can take a hit from either of his enemies, but not two.

But it's okay, because Marcus almost killed him. Lance just needs to finish him off.

Lance! No! I know you're wrecked, but can you try to hit something for once? This might very well cost Saul his life!

And I cannot use you anymore, so this is useless!

So... this is bad.

I was convinced Roy had a vulnerary and would be fine, but then I remembered Marcus took it. which means we need to get Roy outta there.

I was also convinced the Wyvern couldn't reach Dorothy, but he could.

So I'll settle for moving Roy north, healing him up and praying for the best.

And that's that.

Seriously, screw that Wyvern.

Agh! No! I need healers!

Bypass! Fast-forward! I need to see whether Saul lives or not!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh...

Okay, we're good. Let's keep moving.

Marcus fights a lot.

He also gets another Jeigan level. Damnit, Marcus! What happened to the great levels?

Also, Lance finally managed to skewer the Knight. Well done.

Saul, take a chug at your vulnerary. You've earned it, man.

Then Jerrot rides away with him. Cutting it far too close there. If I already can't take one Wyvern, imagine if this one attacked us as well. Jeez.

These two are still guarding Chad and Sue.

At this point, I remembered "hm, the asshole reinforcements are going to spawn any moment now... better get moving".

Can you guess how long it took for the asshole reinforcements to appear?

Yep. Yet another kick in the balls: De Beers announces the arrival of reinforcements, and one turn later, they arrive. And believe me, they are no pushovers. I worried a little, but it being Lot, I decided he wouldn't be in any trouble.

Anyway, it is time for something incredible.

The Wyvern Rider's down!

I didn't laugh like that in real life when this happened, but I wish I did.

I need to lie down.

To be continued

Death count: Bors
                        Wolt
                        Deke
                        Lugh
                        Rutger
                        Noah
                        Clarine

Reset count: 3

Merlinus death count: 8

[Saint Rubenio]

 

 

 

 

 

 

Part 9 - Death galore! (part III)

Spoiler

Ah, I feel as though a heavy burden has been lifted off my shoulders.

The amount of meaningless combat decreases by the minute: any moment now, we'll be free--

Oh, of course. De Beers' master plan.

So, most of these are just run-of-the-mill, crappy javelin Cavaliers. However...

One of them is not like the others. These asshats are worth quite a lot of experience, but are almost as powerful as Erik. They're not to be underestimated.

However, we've got the best axeman, who has WTA on them as well as great stats to back that up, so... yeah. They're outclassed.

I decide to equip the halberd and inmediately regret it, because it would probably mean Lot's death, so I just let him keep his iron axe.

There we go. With a little bit of luck, they'll make it out unscathered. But at least it's Lot, so we don't need all the luck a human being can possibly have and some more.

But we're not done with this player phase yet. First, we must waste some more experience on Jeigan.

Treck shall then fail to gain experience.

Marcus is perfectly placed to lure in this lone Cavalier. He's the only one left in the northern side of the map, aside from the Wyvern who doesn't attack unless provoked by putting somebody inside his range, and De Beers.

So, now that we have the time, how about we visit the world's worst saleswoman ever?

Or maybe she was just intimidated by that look.

Either way, Lance gets an elixir for his troubles.

General healing.

Aaaaand why of COURSE he got hit! Why wouldn't he get hit?! It's so much fun getting hit!

These guys are far too powerful to kill in one round.

Thankfully, his subordinates are chumps. Lot had about a thousand javelins thrown at him, but I figured you wouldn't want to see the same picture over and over, so just shake your head a whole lot until you see a lot of this picture or something

I was wrong: Marcus wasn't the one luring the Cavalier, it was Jerrot. His efforts were in vain, for this accursed healer is still breathing, but it doesn't matter. What matters is that he's out of the Wyvern's range.

Heal up, Lot. If I were to lose you now, the LP would be done for!

Dorothy gets a horseslayer that could've been more useful if it wasn't suicide to waste time visiting villages while the horsemen are attacking. And horses more or less disappear for a bunch of chapters now, so... yeah. Good effort, mate.

Damned healer...

This was highly hilarious at the time I was playing. The rest of the chapter, I felt severely outclassed, and in constant pain. But here? These idiots were no match for Lot. It felt extremely satisfying to see him mop up the floor with them.

But even more so to watch the brigade's leader, the silver lance man, run away like a little chicken.

I'm just glad I can finally fit all the enemy phase combat in one line of pictures.

I don't know why I used the halberd. He destroyed these dumbasses just fine with the iron axe. But it was too good to see such high numbers.

Astounding! If only I had somebody that could use this.

Excellent. Experience fo--

RAAARGH! This team is worse than a blind stormtrooper!

Lance provokes the Wyvern into flying towards us.

Wait a minute... this isn't supposed to be here! Imguuuuuuuuuuuuur!

I know I made this joke already. Just be glad I didn't make it every time this happened. Must've been like 6 or 7 misplaced pictures.

But when it really does happen, it shall prove to be a grave mistake, for no longer do they have a source of healing.

There we go.

No, this isn't imgur at work again. I just decided to waste another use of the halberd.

Treck finally decided to get his shit together. I'm so happy for him.

Marcus is still visiting villages. In retrospect, I probably should've done this with somebody else, but it's not important.

Excellent! This is going straight to Lot's pocket.

I figured I might as well use this chance to train Wade up a little.

Excellent. He's like, reversed Lot, with low speed and defense, but sky-high strength, while Lot has inmense speed and defense. Which makes him better, but they're both great, and they support together. What's not to love?

Look, Elen got a level! She's still hilariously bad!

Look, silver lance man decided to attack us again!

It did not end well for him.

You heal the guy. It is irrelevant. He's not surviving this turn.

HAHAH!

Honestly, I shouldn't have done that. Had he missed (which, knowing me, was the most likely outcome), and had he then failed to avoid the ensuing silver strike (ditto), he would've been in mortal danger.

But it didn't happen, so it's all swell.

Juuuuuuuust sweeeell~

It would've been sweller if he got some more strength and skill, but hey, can't have everything, now can we? If he had more strength and skill, he'd be too good!

And now unequip the halberd because I'm certain there's another brigade coming, and I don't want you to go too far.

Back in the northern front, the Wyvern has a red gem, but Chad is busy hiding inside Sue's saddlebag, who in turn is cowering behind Wade, who is supporting Lot as he faces Legance's elegant Cavaliers. Not a very good time to send him to the other side of the map in order to rob gems, am I right?

So let's finally lure that Wyvern, shall we?

Look at that hit chance. Marcus' great luck is what sets him apart from Zealot, if he can get a couple of good level ups to match his offensive stats (and, as we know, my Marcus did it).

Here, just so you get an idea of what's been happening all these enemy phases. This is the second brigade of asshats, if I'm not mistaken.

Hard to tell, what with Lot killing them so fast, by the time of the map establishing shot, they're all gone!

Great Scott, the Archer finally got a level that's not just HP and skill! Rejoice, everybody! Now she has a marginally higher chance of not being replaced by a prepromote!

Gosh darn it all, can't feed this bastard to Treck!

At least he's almost dead.

...this game is determined to piss me off to the bitter end, isn't it?

There are few enough enemies that I decide it might be time for Sue to drop Chad and try to get some kills. She returns to the safe tile for now, but will be peering out to shoot a few arrows once I can soften up somebody for her.

Of course, that ain't happening until Lot decides to stop missing, as always. But it's okay: at this point, he's even more resilient and dodgy than Marcus, so he's allowed to just toy with his enemy.

This made me laugh quite a bit. The enemy realizes they're don't stand a chance against Lot, and decide to flee north to face the rest of the army. Fuckin' A.

This, though, is NOT fuckin' A! Lot and Wade can take him, but not Chad and Sue!

Return to us this instant! I compel you!

Okay, goo--

Decent. Just decent.

The Wyvern invasion has been, at last, eradicated. It took time, blood, and death, but it's over. The three overpowered Wyverns are gone.

Do I feel accomplished?

Absolutely not. My total death count in the last LP was 19 people. We already have 8 deaths, and we're only 7 chapters into a 31 chapter long game, not counting the fact that we're going to be playing all routes in separate save files.

We're almost halfway to beating the last LP when it comes to losing people, in a game with less people to kill, that's longer. And we haven't even made it past the first story arc. Hot damn.

And it's all the damned Wyvern's fault! Not this one, not the first one that got obliterated by Lot and accomplished nothing, I mean the other one!

And Noah. Noah's stupidity is also to blame. Which is a shame, I really love the guy personality wise. Alas, 'twas not to be.

Nice! That's a very good level up! Keep it up, maybe get some strength and speed next time, and you might just have a spot in the team!

And with that... at this point, I considered moving Lot and Wade out and get them to the gate to start the assault on De Beers' nonsensical throne, but I had a bad feeling about it, so I decided to wait.

Can you imagine the "I knew it!" when this happened? Yep! I was certain that there would be two waves of Cavalier reinforcements. What I didn't fully remember was that there would be another one. I'm glad Sue and Chad didn't go anywhere.

But before they attack Lot, Treck fights the cowardly silver lancer, who rode up along with a javelin-toting partner to face the northern group. It shall prove to be a grave mistake.

Ergh, after we can outdamage the asshole's healing.

The rest is nothing out of the ordinary. Just Lot sidestepping a bunch of javelins.

Perfect. That went perfectly. Now, who shall get this juicy, barely alive level 15 Cavalier?

Treck, of course, after some healing, just in case.

Not a bad level. I'm starting to fear Saul will be magic screwed, though. But that's fine. Even if both our priests fail us, Yoder exists.

Of course. He just HAD to miss, didn't he? At least he dodged the silver lance.

But just in case, I make Lance finish off the other asshat. Best to be safe than sorry.

Not a very good level, but since I won't be able to use you after this chapter... at least this is making me feel less sad about it.

Sue gets the kill I promised her. I don't think there'll be any more reinforcements, so we should be able to progress very soon.

Lance ends up getting the kill. Good job, Treck. That miss was truly delightful.

You can guess the rest.

This is such a magnificent shot, ain't it? I'm truly the best.

Baaaaah. I'll give you a pass this time, but try not to repeat this, okay, Lot?

Healing, fighting...

Sue is then attacked because I am bad.

I'm pretty sure this flashbang hid her being attacked by a second Cavalier, which would've killed her had I not lucked out because the game feels sorry for me.

Once the bright lights fade away, I feed Sue another kill.

Wow. Amazing. Keep this up, girl, and you might stop being an utter liability.

You know, I just realised, these two enemies have been alive the entire chapter by virtue of hanging back and doing nothing. Let's try and fix that.

Meh... later.

The southern group gets attacked as usual...

...and that's it! The map is pretty much over. All we have to do is walk over to De Beers, defeat him, and take the nonsensical throne.

Oh, and kill these two, of course.

I made a bit of a mistake and left Saul in range of the Archer. However...

It was a trap! Now he's stuck at the arena. Sure, he's got high avoid thanks to the terrain, but he cannot go anywhere or attack anybody. Treck can just clumsily flail his arms all he wants, for this guy is going nowhere until he dies.

The axe siblings heal up a little in preparation for moving out of the corner of the map.

Accursed-- that priest is going to die so hard, they won't be able to identify the body.

...one of these days, I'm sure.

...

Well, at least we hit something this time around.

No, Treck! You aren't good enough yet for me to just accept this!

The healer finally makes a fatal mistake: instead of healing himself up, he heals the Knight.

Treck couldn't quite kill him, but he left him at 1 HP. Even if he heals up, Treck'll still be able to 1HKO him.

Meanwhile, Marcus keeps on fighting the Knight. Truly an epic duel.

...

What, are you just tired? Does FE6 have a fatigue system all of sudden?

The Knight realizes he has no chance of beating Marcus, and retreats as fast as his heavyly armored legs can carry him.

We FINALLY kill the damned Priest. Right when he was about to become a complete non-issue. So... urgh. I can't even come up with a pathetic enough adjective to describe that.

Watching a man of the cloth be ruthlessly murdered, the Knight is enraged and returns to finish the fight.

Needless to say, he wasn't very successful.

Awesome! Expending ca--

Shut your trap, you!

Nice! It would've been nicer to also get the other one, but Chad wasn't available, so eh. Affordable losses.

Next up, we're handed this. It's okay, I suppose, but my Archers aren't very good.

Two thousand rounds later, Treck runs out of patience and decides to unleash...

The flashbang!

The Archer, blinded by the light, is unable to dodge Treck. However, as a collateral effect of his negligent use of non-lethal force, his growths, too, are stunned, resulting in this crappy level.

So, now I have a whole bunch of screencaps of arena grinding. This game's arena is extremely simple to use: anything below 750 is either a guaranteed win (weak Pegasus Knight or Soldier) or a Mage, which is pretty much the same thing. I didn't go too far with that, I just wanted some cash and help Treck catch up.

Some may call it cheating, but honestly, do you really think any of this is going to make a real difference in the grand scheme of things?

What a really wanted to get out of the whole thing was a bit of cash. You'll see why later.

Okay, now let's attack De Beers.

Except SURPRISE! The game isn't giving up yet!

This chapter, man. Urgh! The update is long enough already!

Die, all of you! Out of my way, quickly!

Uh...

I didn't modify his growths, I swear! I don't know why he's turning out so well!

Lance misses as usual, Jerrot Jeigans to well...

And that's it for the reinforcements. Thankfully, these are chumps. Nothing more than a last, desperate attempt at defeating us by an increasingly fearful De Beers.

These guys are heavily outclassed.

Saul heals Zealot just for the experience, and is then promptly moved out of the way.

I don't know why I took so long to beat these guys.

Oh, right. I was feeding them to Treck.

While doing that, Marcus steps into the range of De Beers.

Yeah, like that's going to work.

Oh, come now! Serious--

...I said nothing.

That's it. Only the beer master himself is left. And soon enough, he shall fall.

As always, it's going to take two and a half ages to bring him down. And that's if we get lucky.

Saul may have no magic to speak of, but at least he'll be the fastest Priest in Elibe.

That oddly fits his character.

Come ON! Yes! Finally!

Baaah...

BAAAAAAAH!

Yes! Come on! You guys can do it without wasting even more of my time!

Jeez, these Knight bosses are far more tedious than they should be.

There we go. Wade got some more defense. I'm so glad for him.

The reason I wanted so much cash is that I always end up using up a lot in this chapter. I bought like two of every weapon, except for axes. I'm using a lot of axes. It's a good thing they're cheap.

Now with no danger in the way, Chad goes up to this treasure room, which is really stupid but not as much as the throne (at least there's a door here), and get goods.

Then I give Treck another level up at the arena, since he was almost there, but not quite, and...

At last. We're past chapter 7! Shall we party?

Eh, no, we shan't. 3 people still have died, and other two have been wounded beyond healing, and winning the chapter won't change that.

But first, look at that stupidity. 87 turns. I wish could say most of those were spent arena abusing.

Hell yeah! Let's rock--

Merlinus!

Okay, that's actually reasonable.

That... has nothing to do with Lilina, Merlinus.

I highly doubt that. He was just a hotheaded fool carrying a curse since the day he picked up an old axe.

Don't even mention it, please.

Are you stupid?! "Difficult enough"? They murdered half your army!

The music changes when Merlinus says this, as if it's some kind of awesome reveal, when in reality, it's not a reveal at all. "Legendary weapons"? How is that any different to "weapon that is effective against dragons"?

Yeah, let's try to have her survive. I don't know how I'll handle losing gaiden-required units, but... guess I'll just think something if when we get there.

Oi, oi, oi! Cool down, Roy! The cost does matter!

...

Phew... finally! We've finally won! I almost can't believe it! See you next time. Hopefully, the next update will be shorter. This one's been so tedious.

Death count: Bors
                        Wolt
                        Deke
                        Lugh
                        Rutger
                        Noah
                        Clarine
                        Lance
                        Jerrot

*Discharged

Reset count: 3

Merlinus death count: 8

 

[Dayni]

19 minutes ago, Rubenio said:

Bring forth victory for the true saviors of mankind!

LET ME GUESS, BERN ARE OUR SAVIOURS.

WE'RE NOT WORTHY.

20 minutes ago, Rubenio said:

...not yet... I must... claim my vengeance... curse you, Bern... I...

It seems Rutget wants to punch the enemy to death.

The problem is that his opponent has the high ground in the form of a horse.

21 minutes ago, Rubenio said:

AAAAAARGH! NOAH! GO AFTER NOAH! I BEG YOU!

I knew you'd care!

18 minutes ago, Rubenio said:

Noah, noooooo!

Well, he's dead.

Might as well kiss him goodbye and move on to the task at hand. That is, the invincible Wyvern.

Well, that's Fir gone, and possibly Karel gone too.

Least you can just let her die on someone's lance now.

Oh wait.

22 minutes ago, Rubenio said:

Well, she did her job. Thanks, Clarine. You weren't despicable for once. Now go in peace.

Well that makes Klein harder to get.

Also Clarine's dead. You monster.

23 minutes ago, Rubenio said:

Mostly just observing the good edit.

Though I'm still lost as to which side that scar should be on.

24 minutes ago, Rubenio said:

Also, 2 updates? Damm. So it appears that they might have gotten away....

24 minutes ago, Rubenio said:

But for this Sigune-looking woman.

So I wonder what she's doing here. Is she a subordinate to one of the generals?

39 minutes ago, Rubenio said:

Thankfully, his subordinates are chumps. Lot had about a thousand javelins thrown at him, but I figured you wouldn't want to see the same picture over and over, so just shake your head a whole lot until you see a lot of this picture or something

*Audible groan.

45 minutes ago, Rubenio said:

Saul may have no magic to speak of, but at least he'll be the fastest Priest in Elibe.

That oddly fits his character.

Mind. Gutter. Out.

Jeez, there's now more corpses for Humphry than there was for Ruben. How does he explain that mess?

[KnightOfNohr]

By the way, it’s “too well”, not “to well”.

[DestructionDragon360]

Humphrey is definitely talking about the dragons. He's practically parroting Zephiel's rhetoric. I'm eager to see where the Ruben and Sid Subplot will take us.

Treck! I have faith in you, don't prove it to be misplaced! Really though, in FE6, a few bad levels are only crippling if they prevent you from getting more levels in the future. And with Axes Axes and More Axes awaiting us post-Chp. 8x, getting Treck exp shouldn't be too difficult if you can keep him alive. Like I said earlier, when everyone sucks, no one sucks, so good levels for Treck are sure to come, and if not, everyone else's levels aren't liable to be much better.

Except Marcus. He's apparently determined to regain his FE7 Oifey status.

[eclipse]

Your favorite unit is Raigh?

Perfect.  He amuses me, too.  Please use him, no matter what!