Ertrick36 Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 Tell potential mates that you can have sex on your mom's old futon. Bonus points if you tell them about your older sister's/cousin's/mom's "toys". Or you can keep a belly-button lint collection like this one 40-some year-old virgin I saw on a show one time. Don't worry, he was only a virgin because all the ladies were afraid of his pussy-slaying prowess. 4 minutes ago, Vi-astra said: become bi Fixed Or maybe it should be pan... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonymousSpeed Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 Wait, wait, guys! Listen up, I think I have the perfect solution- Become a brick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkhead Posted July 25, 2018 Author Share Posted July 25, 2018 4 minutes ago, Ertrick36 said: Or you can keep a belly-button lint collection a what Also why do bisexual people ask if it's okay with a straight person to date them. 2 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said: Wait, wait, guys! Listen up, I think I have the perfect solution- Become a brick. like this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heruseus Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 2 hours ago, eclipse said: Step 1: Stop making stupid topics. You only have two hands. Thats like actually good advice And a solid little poke. I see you lad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkhead Posted July 25, 2018 Author Share Posted July 25, 2018 4 minutes ago, Heruseus said: Thats like actually good advice And a solid little poke. I see you lad. I don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacLovin Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 21 minutes ago, Junkhead said: I don't. you're obviously using the two hands for some onanism right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkhead Posted July 25, 2018 Author Share Posted July 25, 2018 4 minutes ago, Mister Rogers said: you're obviously using the two hands for some onanism right now. naw I have standards Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacLovin Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 26 minutes ago, Junkhead said: naw I have standards do those standards include asking a bunch of nerds on the internet on how to get laid. you clearly should go to reddit for that. or incels.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonymousSpeed Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 Alright, that's enough jokes. Here's some legitimately helpful advice: Spoiler Dressing nice: Don't even try. It'll make women think you're gay. Showing: Once per month is enough. Too many showers will make your skin scalier and less attractive to women. Showers also wash away woman-alluring pheromones. The French know what they're doing here. Cleaning: Not cleaning means not using harmful chemicals or wasting water, demonstrating eco-sensitivity that chicks dig. Don't wash your clothes until you've worn them at least seven times, and make sure you dedicate separate parts of the floor for "wear again" and "wash" piles. You don't want to accidentally wash a shirt you've only worn every weekday. Exercise: Humans have an evolutionarily acquired attraction to people who are well off enough to not work. Capitalize on this by doing as little physical labor as possible. Respecting Women: The thing women desire most in a man is assertiveness and honestly, so be sure to let them know that you expect to get laid on the first date. Your Metal Gear: Obviously, don't even try to pick up chicks without a giant robot car, anyone who's worth mating with will have access to one. If you can't afford a giant robot car, at least pick up two or more katanas online to let people know you're serious about getting a giant robot car later on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkhead Posted July 25, 2018 Author Share Posted July 25, 2018 23 minutes ago, Mister Rogers said: do those standards include asking a bunch of nerds on the internet on how to get laid. you clearly should go to reddit for that. or incels.com You're the nerds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacLovin Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 7 minutes ago, Junkhead said: You're the nerds. A nerd would call himself junkhead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DisobeyedCargo Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 We're all nerds Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkhead Posted July 25, 2018 Author Share Posted July 25, 2018 2 minutes ago, Mister Rogers said: A nerd would call himself junkhead. wow you don't know shit you're probably the fat guy that knows all about sex rite Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkhead Posted July 25, 2018 Author Share Posted July 25, 2018 hey look it's you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacLovin Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 6 minutes ago, Junkhead said: wow you don't know shit you're probably the fat guy that knows all about sex rite I've had some sources what do you want to know? and the extra stuff Spoiler Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkhead Posted July 25, 2018 Author Share Posted July 25, 2018 2 minutes ago, Mister Rogers said: I've had some sources what do you want to know? and the extra stuff Hide contents okay you got me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkhead Posted July 25, 2018 Author Share Posted July 25, 2018 5 hours ago, indigospace said: Based on your profile pic (if it's really you, that is), you're a handsome lad (no homo). Give it time. thanks Can someone tell him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuiltyLove Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 why are your topics so bad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karimlan Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 1 hour ago, GuiltyLove said: why are your topics so bad Good question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freohr Datia Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 12 hours ago, eclipse said: Step 1: Stop making stupid topics. You only have two hands. GIRL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jotari Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 11 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said: On 6/18/2018 at 4:42 AM, MagicCanonBalls said: Sex is overrated, everyone should just play fire emblem instead. If you can't do both simultaneously, then you obviously aren't trying hard enough. Filthy casuals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Interdimensional Observer Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 9 minutes ago, Jotari said: If you can't do both simultaneously, then you obviously aren't trying hard enough. Filthy casuals. Reminds me Kirby Super Star Ultra let you play Spring Breeze with a friend using only one copy of the game. The second player had to look over at the first player's screen, since it wouldn't show the action on their own DS. The image they used to show this had Kirby and Waddle Dee sitting in adjacent chairs. But IRL, it'd probably be better to just have one player sit atop the other. Now that is what you call co-op. 2 hours ago, GuiltyLove said: why are your topics so bad Admit, that like a real funky blue cheese mold, they have something of appreciable flavor to them. Random thoughts floating through the ether of the Internet, recorded for the duration of mankind's existence. C'est la vie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tryhard Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 read Roosh V, apparently Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 1 hour ago, Interdimensional Observer said: Admit, that like a real funky blue cheese mold, they have something of appreciable flavor to them. Random thoughts floating through the ether of the Internet, recorded for the duration of mankind's existence. C'est la vie. I agree. I like these topics. Blue cheese is awesome. - - - - - - - @Junkhead, if you want to get laid, I will just echo my cousin's advice to me: 1. Exercise or work out. You do not have to have huge muscles or a six pack, just do not be flabby. At least be fit. 2. Dress nicely. You have to groom yourself and make yourself look good. If you have a big bush down there, trim it; you have to look good in clothes and without clothes. I would also recommend having some sort of income to be able to pay for everything when you go on dates. Being able to pay for everything means you two can have fun regardless of her financial situation. You can obviously split the bill if she offers it, but I personally like to take a girl out to more upscale places and eat better food, and not every girl can afford to drop the dough to eat filet mignon and king crab every day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excellen Browning Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 Soul is a serious prettyboy so none of that applies. tbh Soul I think a lot of girls and women are interested in you, at least based on appearance, so I think that something is going wrong after that. Like you having a hard time socialising or not doing much of it, not picking up the "I'm interested" signals, or simply because you haven't met someone yet who made your heart race. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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