Life

OI! Bull. I was the one who suggested 3 days worth of info, for your information. I ran over every single scenario on paper from an uninformed person's role. I've known everyone's true role since Day 2. So don't tell me that I couldn't know that you'd prove who the sane cops were. I know exactly what's been done. Sides, I want the day phase to end so that this game can be over and you guys can credit me as the best mafia player here.

Life is now John Dory. But for the sake of convenience, I'd like to be referred to as Life.

1 for HHM. No exception. He forces us to fight Lloyd early, gives us a FoW map, has shitty stats on top of 5 Move and isn't even guaranteed to survive long enough to be recruited. Wallace sucks pure ass.

Looks like I win again!

Tables, as much as I'd like a NL, it's LYLO right now. Lynch a guy or lose it all.

Efficiencywise, I'd rather keep Eliwood and Lyn underleveled and go to Lloyd's version of FFO. You can 3 turn it with Ninian in theory but I don't know that for a fact. Besides, Geitz isn't worth the extra turns IMO. He doesn't do anything that another combat user can't do.

1. I'll be fine for money. It's just that enemies give piddling amounts of Gil compared to how expensive stuff is. 2. Really? Cool. 3. I've sold all extra weapons and stuff. 4. It's a blind playthrough. I didn't know that I didn't have to do it. Besides, I thought that I might as well try. Made me rather pissed when I found out that I needed more money, though.

You forgot Dumbass in Love (Snow). Umm, Sephiroth = Seph or Sephy. And Red XIII = Red. For right now at least.

Mythril Mine: Well, that gives new meaning to the phrase "snake on a skewer". Turns out that Sephiroth took a Midgar Zolem and speared it with half a tree. Which seems really cool once you realize that a Midgar Zolum is about 20 times the size of Barret, who's no slouch. Anyway, the group enters the Mythril Mine because... I really don't know why, to be honest. But I do know that the Long Range Materia sitting to the right of the entrance will hopefully come in handy soon. However, my party is Aeris (mage), Barret (full damage from back row anyways) and Cloud (busy holding better Materia) so I'll save it for when I can use Red XIII again. Madouge are these pink things that swing balls around their heads. Thing is, they're not exactly scary since they pretty much do nothing. Crawlers are snakes that can use Cold Breath, an ice based attack that I hope doesn't freeze, even though the damage is next to nothing. Castanets are weak little fuckers for crabs that don't need to be mentioned in any detail. A little further on from Long Range, I find a Tent and Ether at a dead end. Which is cool except now I have to backtrack. A couple of fights later and Barret learns Mindblow which will come in handy for bosses that like using MP. Going the other way, I find a Mind Source which probably won't ever be used. And my All Materia on Aeris leveled up, allowing her to use a party Cure twice now. And... hiya Turks! Turns out that Elena is the official bumbling idiot of the Turks since she blurts out (stupidly) that Sephy is on his way to Junon Harbor. Tseng gets a bit pissed at her but lets her off without punishment. Tseng then sends Rude and Elena to follow Sephy and then departs soon after. I grab the nearby Elixir and Hi Potion and then follow after Tseng which leads me to the World Map on the other side of the mountains. Cool. I look around for a bit and then head for some sort of lighthouse thing. Your reinforcements have arrived: Welcome to Fort Condor. There's apparently a reactor on top of this heap of junk and Shinra want the Materia inside of the reactor. However, there's also a bunch of condors living here and the folks who live here want to defend the birds. Had to rest up in the beds and then searched the rest of the place for some sort of armoury (none and the Materia store sells basic stuff). Also traded out Barret for Tifa just in case. Anyway, time to defend this place from Shinra! Thing is, I need to donate 5000 Gil before I can help which means more grinding. Great... This game better pick up since the fact that everything revolves around money is starting to annoy me a bit. The enemies in the area seem to be getting easier. Hell Rider VR2s look a lot more intimidating than they really are and can only dish out good damage to a single character. Zemzeletts are giant birds that pretty much do nothing. Formulas can hit hard and should probably be taken out ASAP. Nerosufaroth are pathetic. Cappawires are possibly the only enemies worth mentioning since Grand Spark can do a LOT of damage to a person. Once I collected the 5000 Gil, I returned to the lookout and WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU WANT 4000 MORE GIL?! FUCK YOU! Got fed up and left to head to Junon Harbor. I'll come back later if I feel like paying stupidly high amounts of money for no reason. Cloud - Level 17 - All Lv. 1 (1048) + Restore Lv. 1 (1035), Enemy Skill (1), Sense Lv. 1 (662), Cover Lv. 1 (944) Tifa - Level 15 - Elemental Lv. 1 (749) + Fire Lv. 1 (1646), Steal Lv. 1 (812), Long Range Lv. 1 (132), Heal Lv. 1 (510) Barret - Level 15 - All Lv. 2 (1707) + Restore Lv. 1 (1053), Choco/Mog Lv. 1 (437), Poison Lv. 1 (749) Aeris - Level 16 Red XIII - Level 16 Extra Materia: Fire Lv. 1 (925) Ice Lv. 1 (1028) Ice Lv. 1 (510) Lightning Lv. 1 (985) Lightning Lv. 1 (96) All Lv. 1 (104) Sense Lv. 1 (163) Chocobo Lure Lv. 1 (69) It really pisses me off that Materia has to be equipped by my current party to grow. Fuck.

Figured. Tried fighting it and got raped in return.

Off to Kalm we go: Turns out that this game just got a lot less linear. Kalm is located to the northeast of Midgar and it's rather close so I made it there by only fighting once. Kalm Fangs are basically the wolves I've seen for most of the game. Prowlers are theives and one of them made off with my Guard Source. Fuck. Once in Kalm, Cloud, Tifa and Aeris meet up with Barret and Red XIII. Cloud then begins to explain his story. Turns out that Cloud worked with Sephiroth in SOLDIER until Sephiroth went nuts and started killing people. Turns out that Sephiroth is the son of Jenova, a Cetra. Once he finds out, he begins to kill Cloud's entire hometown of Nibelheim in order to break Jenova out of the Mako reactor stationed there. His goal? To find the Promised Land with his mother. I always say that only thing worse than an idiot is an enlightened idiot but Sephy probably takes the cake for how nuts a bad guy can be without actually being psycho. He's still got nothing on Kefka for actual nutsability. And yeah. I just summarized the plot to date in a single paragraph. And technically now I'm flying blind since this is where my first try ends. After the story stuff, I went shopping for a bit. Bought a new weapon for both Cloud and Tifa along with a Heal Materia but I had to fight a bit to save up some more money for Aeris's new weapon (she needs it to equip Heal, even with the Four Slots). Let's go, Chocobo: Time to head over to the Chocobo ranch. Cloud, Tifa and Aeris form my main fighting party (for right now) while Red XIII and Barret can sit back and rest. Walked on over to the Chocobo Ranch and snagged Choco/Mog from the first bird that I saw. Stuck that on Tifa to avoid a 1- Strength penalty. And... damn. Need 2000 Gil for the Chocobo Lure not to mention more money for some Greens if I want to actually pull it off. Turns out that I have to fight a bit first. Elfadunks can use Shower to do quite a bit of damage, even to back row characters. They also have quite a bit of HP. Levrikon are really fast birds that can ambush you with Bird Kick or Flaming Peck. Mus are weird little things. They can use Sewer/Hot Springs to deal a lot of damage to your party or heal that character, Sinking can... I don't know what it does oh and they use Lv. 4 Suicide which I happened to learn. Yay me! It was a total accident too! Anyway, after I collected enough cash, I went back to the ranch to rest, buy my Lure and a Curiel Greens (another 1000 Gil). Aeris learned Evil Seal after a couple of battles of searching, which was nice. Except for the fact that the first Chocobo I found ran away, making me waste a Curiel Greens. So I went back to buy myself another Curiel Greens along with a Krakka Greens (250 Gil), just in case the Chocobo would run away before I tossed the Curiel Greens. And it worked on my next try, netting me a Chocobo. GO ME! After I hopped on it, I crossed over the swamp by avoiding the Midgar Zolem and entered the Marshes. Cloud - Level 15 - All Lv. 1 (742) + Restore Lv. 1 (729), Enemy Skill (1), Sense Lv. 1 (356), Cover Lv. 1 (658) Barret - Level 14 - Elemental Lv. 1 (443) + Fire Lv. 1 (619), Steal Lv. 1 (506), Heal Lv. 1 (204) Aeris - Level 14 - All Lv. 1 (1401) + Restore Lv. 1 (747), Choco/Mog Lv. 1 (131), Poison Lv. 1 (443), Fire Lv. 1 (1356), Ice Lv. 1 (736), Lightning Lv. 1 (693) Tifa - Level 14 Red XIII - Level 15 Extra Materia: Fire Lv. 1 Ice Lv. 1 Lightning Lv. 1 All Lv. 1 Sense Lv. 1 Chocobo Lure Lv. 1 Next time: Life starts playing FFVII blindly and doesn't know what the fuck to do. AKA there is no next time section from now on since this is where my old save ended.

The only reason why I seem scary is because you guys don't understand where my logic takes me. The first time I tried a bluff, I got my fingers burnt badly by Hika. But looks like I'm starting to perfect it.

Don't I always say this? I'm like the Kefka of Mafia. I'll fuck with your brains even when I'm on your side.

Along with Galuf, Tellah, Porum and Palom (interestingly enough, there's a town in FFXIII called Palumpolum) and possibly a couple others that I'm forgetting from the early FF games.

I still say that Ifrit is better than Flamethrower. 11 MP but it does over double the damage that Fira does. Just tested since my current file is right outside of Regole (too bored to move on plus I'm playing FFVII).

Escaping the madhouse: Cloud and Tifa get locked up in a room, Aeris is to their left and Barret and Red XIII to their right. After a little bit of dialogue, Cloud wakes up to find the door open. That can't be good. Outside, the guard is dead. Cloud wakes up Tifa and then grabs the rest of the team. Red XIII heads onwards to scout while Barret stays behind as a guard. Tifa and Aeris accompany Cloud to chase after the tiger. Turns out that everyone is dead. Weird. Cloud, Tifa and Aeris find Red XIII near the now missing door to the Jenova specimen along with a lot of blood. Red XIII heads up stairs while the group follows after him. The next floor isn't much different with a trail of blood leading to the next victim. The monsters change on this floor. Zenenes are weak to Holy (something I don't have yet) and can poison the team with Piazzo Shower. Brain Pods can use Refuse to put the team to sleep but are more annoying than dangerous. Vagrid Police can use Suicide to deal very little damage to their target but that's about it. The ominous blood leads all the way to the 70th floor where the group finds President Shinra dead with a giant sword in his back. That's going to be sore in the morning. Cloud recognizes the sword as Sephiroth's meaning that Sephiroth must be alive. Cloud and Barret then catch Palmer and make him talk. Turns out that Sephy wants to keep Shinra from getting the Promised Land but Cloud exclaims that Seph has a different mission and isn't a good guy. At this point, Vice President Rufus decides to appear. Cloud sends the rest of the team away so that he can deal with Rufus alone. Tifa decides to stay behind as Barret, Red XII and Aeris make their escape. Or at least try to. Boss: Hundred Gunner, Heli Gunner Yeah, two bosses in rapid succession. The best part? NO CLOUD! Anyway, both the Hundred Gunner and Heli Gunner pack some heat with their long distance attacks. C Cannon might just be the most devastating attack I've seen to date, dealing over than 100 damage easily. However, both are weak to Lightning making them very easy to kill. Regular attacks aside from Barret's gun don't work since the fight takes place on moving elevators. However, Red XIII's Limit Break (Sled Fang) will hit and do quite a bit of damage. Assault both machines with Lightning and Barret's gun and they should go down relatively quickly. The scene then shifts to Cloud and Rufus who are ready to dual it out. Boss: Rufus + Dark Nation Yeah. 3 bosses in 5 minutes. Fun. Rufus is accompanied by his dog, making this fight 2v1... and you're the 1. Dark Nation will cast Barrier on himself and Rufus and then MBarrier on both himself and his master. Try to take him out before that happens since he only has 140 HP. Afterwards, you can concentrate on Rufus. Rufus hits hard with Shotgun but he's incredibly weak to Poison which should be used ASAP. As long as you keep your HP up, he'll go down soon. Rufus drops the Protect Vest and Guard Source. After the battle, Cloud will find Tifa on the 69th floor and the pair will escape the building via the elevators. Aeris' group will beat Cloud's down the elevators and will find out that building has been surrounded. Tifa will then join the group while Cloud comes riding in on a sick motorcycle. Cool. The rest of the gang will jump into a truck while Cloud protects them from Shinra soldiers. However, the group stops with a giant robot following it at the end of a bridge. Boss: Motor Ball Motor Ball starts off the battle by attacking you from behind. He'll do some good party damage with Twin Burner but if you have Aeris in your party, he's a pushover since her Limit Break can heal whatever he does to you. Not to mention that he is stupidly weak to Lightning. Tifa's Limit Breaks are starting to get really strong (if you time them right) so I'd suggest adding her in the party. Keep plugging away at Motor Ball's 2600 HP count and he'll go down easily. After Motor Ball bites the dust, the party decides to leave Midgar. They jump down off of the highway to a place outside of the city and decide to meet in Kalm. As they say, last one there's a rotten egg! Cloud - Level 14 - All Lv. 1 (498) + Restore Lv. 1 (485), Sense Lv. 1 (112), Cover Lv. 1 (394) Tifa - Level 13 - Elemental Lv. 1 (220) + Ice Lv. 1 (534), Steal Lv. 1 (283), Enemy Skill Lv. 1 Aeris - Level 12 - All Lv. 1 (1157) + Restore Lv. 1 (503), Poison Lv. 1 (199), Lightning Lv. 1 (449), Ice Lv. 1 (389), Fire Lv. 1 (1112) Barret - Level 13 Red XIII - Level 14 Extra Materia: Lightning Lv. 1 (96) Fire Lv. 1 (406) Fire Lv. 1 (260) All Lv. 1 (0) Sense Lv. 1 (163) Next time: Kalm or bust!

Return to Sector 7: After that little battle, our band of heroes are stuck in the sewers. Grab the Ether and Steal Materia (I put it on Tifa to give her some Dex along with Steal) and follow the path out. As soon as you leave the sewers, Cloud and co. find themselves in the Train Graveyards. There's a Hi Potion in the trash that I grabbed along with the one in plain sight. Turtle Soldiers can do quite a bit of damage with their spears and can also hold out for a while. Crabs are pitiful, though. Once you're the Graveyard, get ready for Dragonflies. They can actually dodge attacks and absorb Ice. They also drop a Graviball which will be useful in the future. Ghosts will disappear every single time you attack them so watch out for that. They'll also use Drain but that's not really something to worry about. Death Riders are cool to see but they're actually quite pathetic, even after casting Silence and using Mono Laser. There's two Potions along the path along with an Echo Screen in the trash. In the next area, you're confronted by your first puzzle, moving trains. Grab the Potions and the trashed Ether first and then hop into the bottom train. It'll push the sideways train out of the way, allowing the top train to move over and letting to cross. And just like that, we're back in Sector 7! As soon as you head to the pillar holding up the plate, you'll find a bunch of people crowding around the entrance. Cloud and Tifa decide to climb to the top in order to help out Barret while Aeris goes to the 7th Heaven to rescue Marlene (Barret's daughter). And Cloud, Wedge just fell from the top of a building. I don't think he's "all right". Flying Soldiers take a long time to kill, mostly because they're fast and annoying. Propeller doesn't do much damage but they have pretty wicked avoid and defense. Cloud and Tifa climb up the stairs and find a wounded Biggs and Jessie who probably won't survive. After the pair make it to the top, they encounter Barret and a boss battle. Boss: Reno the Turk Reno's really not that hard. His main strategy hinges on incapacitating your guys via way of Pyramid. Attacking whichever of your guys that has Pyramid on him/her will knock it off. If Reno hits Pyramid on your entire party and nobody can move, he wins. So make sure you get rid of it ASAP. After that, he's kind of easy. Reno sports a weakness to Magic but resistance to Lightning. Hitting him with Fire or Ice will yield great results, though. He's got nothing to steal in case anyone was wondering. Oh and Tifa learned Somersault which will help with her Limit damage since frankly, Beat Rush sucks. Cloud tries to disarm the bomb but Tseng of Shinra kidnaps Aeris and uses her as a human shield. He refers to Aeris as an Ancient while Aeris shouts down to Tifa, claiming that Marlene is safe. Tseng then escapes in his helicopter while Cloud, Tifa and Barret all grab onto a rope and swing out to safety. And just like that, Sector 7 has been demolished by Shinra. They really are evil bastards. Revenge on Shinra: Barret is pissed. He doesn't know where his daughter is and his three friends are now dead. Tifa and Cloud calm him down and the trio head back to Aeris' house to speak to her mother. Cloud has another flashback, one that apparently refers to the mythical Sephiroth. Once the trio makes it back to Aeris' house, Elmyra (Aeris' mother) tells them that Aeris is an Ancient or as I like to call her, an alien. Shinra's apparently been looking for her for some number of years so... yeah, I really should be surprised that she got captured. And with that being said, it's now time to assault Shinra. My first stop is Wall Market so the team boogies on over there. I also snagged the Sense Materia from the playground (should have gotten it earlier but I didn't see it) and stuck it on Tifa. So now, I'll have the monster names right! To the north of Wall Market, there's a wire that leads to the Upper World. But since there's a propeller blocking the way, I need a battery to move it out of the way (activating the propeller). And since the Weapons store owner collects junk (mentioned earlier when Cloud and Aeris were trying to rescue Tifa), he probably has a battery on him. I climbed back down the wire, bought some stuff including a 2nd Lightning Materia and a new weapon for Tifa and forked over 100 Gil for the battery. Score. Reclimbed the wire and made my way up the trash by installing batteries and climbing wires. Also snagged another Ether by going off the beaten track. Before long, Cloud, Tifa and Barret have made it to the entrance of Shinra Inc. Infiltrating the building: Well well well, bust in the front way or sneak in like a rat. Chose to sneak in and I was rewarded with many flights of stairs and a bit of dialogue. Just great... Oh and an Elixir. Guess it wasn't all bad. Mighty Grunts have a nice amount of defense and HP but the real problems arise when you knock their armour off. They become really freaking agile and refuse to be hit while doing a lot of damage with Rollerspin. Hammer Blasters are a lot easier to deal with, especially with their huge weakness to Lightning. A single Lightning can knock off most of their HP which is really key. Sword Dances are even easier to kill, thanks to their low HP count and weak attacks. Warning Boards are hilarious to fight but they're also immune to Lightning. The party reaches the 60th floor and begins traversing their way up to the top of the building. They beat up the guards on the 60th floor after failing to sneak in under their noses. On the next floor, a man confuses the group to be a repair service and gives them access to the 62 floor. Pretty big mistake but I'm not complaining. The 62 floor is home to Domino the mayor and he wants me to guess his secret code to get the keycard. Since I like puzzles, I tried to figure it out the way that the game wanted me to: By talking to his aide. Unfortunately, the game fucks you over by making the clues cost outrageous amounts of money and they're not even worth it so I guessed. BEST. Don't know how I got it but one try was all it took. Also got an Elemental Materia for doing it. Gave it to Barret, making his Assault Gun have a Lightning element to it. Should come in handy soon. Grabbed the elevator to the 65th floor and had to deal with another puzzle, the reactor core one. Quite easy but a little annoying for the most part. After I finished it, I snagged the Keycard 66 and headed back down to the 63rd floor to do the door puzzle. Took a little while to get fully correct but that puzzle is absolutely brilliant. Got another All Materia, a Four Slots and a Star Pendent for my troubles. Quite nice. Gave the Four Slot to Barret and switched his Lightning element with Ice. Barret is pretty much my full time caster now, even though his Magic isn't fantastic (it's pretty good since it now ties Tifa's with a 1+ Mag Materia on her). Tifa got the Star Pendent to keep her from being Poisoned. Stopped off on the 64th floor to rest and save before continuing to the 66th. Turns out that the 66th floor is where all the big guns of Shinra hold their meetings. Went to the bathroom on a whim (and because I was told that there were whispers coming from it) and found a vent that actually led to the conference room in the middle of the floor. Cool! Turns out that Shinra isn't going to rebuilt Sector 7 and would rather raise Mako rates. Not only that but a scientist by the name of Hojo is apparently examining Aeris. This really isn't good. The trio leave the vent and prepare to look for another way up but see Hojo instead and decide to follow him. Hojo stops at the 67th floor and heads to a glass tube where he examines some sort of orange tiger or something. It weird how he treats it almost like how Gollum treats the Ring. Cloud then looks at a shining door and pretty much has a brain meltdown while mentioning Jenova and Sephiroth. And I'm still wondering what the fuck is going on. Turns out that there's a Poison Materia in the northern part of that room, along with an elevator to the 68th floor. I decide to take it for simplicity's sake and I run into... Hojo and Aeris? This can't be good. Barret and Cloud threaten Hojo but Hojo decided to move his specimen into Aeris' glass tube where she's stuck. Barret shoots the glass as Hojo looks on in fear. Then the door opens and the tiger thing jumps out onto Hojo to maul him to death. Cloud grabs Aeris, the tiger things talks, Hojo summons a monster to deal with the crew... WHAT THE FUCK?! THE TIGER TALKED?! THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! Turns out that the tiger's name is Red XIII since he can't remember his own name and Hojo named him that. Red XIII really does sound catchy though. He then helps Cloud and Barret deal with the incoming monster. Boss: Sample H0512 + 3x Sample H0512-opt Sample H0512 doesn't look a pushover. He's got 1000 HP, comes with 3 little bodyguards that he can resurrect at any time and can poison your guys with Shady Breath. Fuck. He also boasts a resistance to Lightning and absorbs Poison. Hard, huh? That being said, Sample H0512's actually really simple. Ice and Fire will do a lot to him (Red XIII comes with All+Fire) and Barret's gun will hit him for full damage even in the back-row. Best strategy is to bombard him with Magic until he goes down. His bodyguards die when he does. He drops a Talisman upon defeat along with an Enemy Skill Materia that can be picked up after the battle. Kept Barret and Aeris in my party to level them up a bit and re-mapped their Materia slots to better stuff. Aeris took the Four Slot and equipped as many Magical based Materia as possible while Barret took Steal and Enemy Skill to knock his Strength back up, along with Elemental + Lightning. Snagged the Potions at the top of the stairs and then confronted Hojo's assistant to gain the Keycard 68. As soon as Cloud gets to the elevator on the 66th floor, Rude and Tseng of the Turks walk in and capture the group. The four of them (Cloud, Tifa, Red XII and Barret) are then frogmarched up to President Shinra's office while Aeris is taken to a "safe place". Pres Shinra then explains that the Cetra (the Ancients) will show the people to the "Promised Land" and that Aeris is the last remaining Ancient. Barret hurls out some insults and then the group is locked up on the 67th floor. Cloud - Level 13 - Lv. 1 All (379) + Lv. Restore (384), Lv. 1 Cover (275), Lv. 1 Sense (84) Next time: It's a bird! It's a plane! It's... a guy with a big fucking sword?!

I say that you guys should just no lynch to avoid hitting the wrong person.

Aeris the Flower Girl: Well, turns out that Cloud didn't die. Too bad, I'd be done the game by now if he did. Apparently, he crashed through a roof in the Sector 5 slums and landed on a patch of flowers. Aeris the flower girl wakes him up and they get acquainted. Good timing too since they're being chased by Shinra soldiers. As for Aeris, she's only level 6 while Cloud is level 10. Fuck, another weakling. However, her first Limit Break removes the need for major healing since Healing Wind will heal my party for free. Yay! Moved the All to Cloud and paired it with Ice while Aeris got Restore, Fire and Lightning. She's 4 levels lower than Cloud and rocks 25 Magic. Cloud has 29. Oh baby, Aeris is going to be quite the mage. Gremlins are little annoying creatures that can use Fire but go down easily. Fast little buggers. Cloud (as Aeris' new bodyguard) and Aeris try to escape the church while being chased by Reno and his three goons. Cloud jumps over a break in the path but Aeris falls down after the soldiers shoot at the platform. Cloud climbs up to the top level and pushes barrels down to knock the soldiers over and save Aeris. They then jump to the roof of the church and escape. Making my way back home to Sector 6: Thieves are quite annoying. They can steal your stuff with Grind and then just disappear into thin air. Annoys me quite a bit since I lost a Tent off of them. Sector 6 is quite easy to find. Hitting the first right has you arriving in the city where Aeris says the greatest line known to man: "This guy are sick." Tell me that's not awesome. Aside from Aeris' English blunder, there's a Materia store (bought another Fire), an item shop and a weapon store. Restocked a bit and then went looking for Aeris' house which is to the northeast. Once I got there, I went to the garden and grabbed the Cover Materia (Cloud equipped it) and the Ether. After that, I entered Aeris' house and prepared for the worst. Actually, it wasn't so bad. Aeris' mother hates Cloud but that's about it. Cloud then tries to sneak out later but gets caught by Aeris at the entrance to Sector 6 and the pair proceed to Tifa's bar in Sector 7. Beauty, thy name is Cloud: Sector 6 slums aren't really bad when it comes to enemies. Aeris should probably go in the back row, though. Scorpions will hit decently hard but go down pretty quickly since Aeris one hits them with a spell while Cloud lays on some hurt with his regular attacks. Devil Houses have a lot of HP but can't really do anything significant that a couple of Cures can't heal. The pair stop at a little playground on the way to Sector 7 and Aeris begins to question Cloud about SOLDIER. Personally, I wouldn't since it seems like a touchy subject but to each their own, right? Suddenly, a carriage carrying Tifa passes by and the pair decide to chase after it. Turns out that the carriage went to Wall Market, a notorious place in the middle of the Sector 6 slums. Yikes. Not to mention that Don Corneo has... taken Tifa and is interviewing her right now to see if she'll be his wife. Pretty weird. Looks like it's up to Cloud and Aeris to rescue Tifa. And so, the plan is to... dress Cloud up like a girl? Oh god, this cannot end well. First order of business is to get a dress and I need to grab the plastered tailor from the bar to do it. Cloud tries it on and Aeris realizes that he needs a wig too. So, we're off to the Gym for a squat competition! Won it 18 to 13 on my first try to, making me feel awesome about myself. And... Oh wow. Cloud looks... umm, I think weird covers it best. But apparently it works since all of Don Corneo's men are fooled by it. Since the costume gets both Cloud and Aeris into Don Corneo's place, they're able to find Tifa in the dungeon quite easily. Thing is, the Don wants to choose a wife right now and he gets the choice between a loli, a decently hot chick and a crossdresser. What a choice... At least he picked the right one (Tifa). Cloud gets tossed to Corneo's horny little underlings and ends up revealing himself so that he can beat the snot out of them. Good plan in my opinion. Cloud then picks up Aeris from the dungeon and the two of them storm Corneo's room where the fat bastard is trying to get it on with Tifa. Yeah, you read that right. Not to mention that Cloud threatens to chop off Don's balls, Aeris wants to rip them off and Tifa wants to smash them to nothing. Turns out that Shinra is going to drop the plate hanging over Sector 7 onto the entire sector, destroying it just to take out AVALANCHE. Pretty nasty stuff, really. Except the Don drops the trio down into a sewer system before they can head back to Sector 7. Boss: Sewer Giant This guy really has one attack, Sewer Tsunami. It hits the whole team but does piddling damage while hurting him a lot in return. He's got a high HP count but a serious weakness to Fire. As long as Aeris and Cloud use Fire and keep the team alive, you should be fine. Oh and Cloud gained Cross Slash which is great. Cloud - Level 11 - Lv. 1 Cover, Lv. 1 Ice, Lv. 1 Lightning Aeris - Level 7 - Lv. 1 All + Lv. 1 Restore, Lv. 1 Ice, Lv. 1 Fire Tifa - Level 9 - Lv. 1 Restore, Lv. 1 Fire Next time: The race to save the sector!

Yeah, I know. Quite ridiculous but it ended the battle right there and then. Mind you, Tifa hit a proper Beat Rush (like I got a YEAH! on it) on the Airbuster and only did 64 damage in comparison. So it makes sense. Also, Tifa died since she got hit by 3 Big Bombers in a row (100 damage then 2x196 damage) which pissed me off a bit. Revived her with a Phoenix Down before Cloud ended the battle. I feel like this is turning more into a walkthrough on how to beat FFVII rather than a playthrough. I mean, my writing style is very verbose when I feel like writing so... Yeah. Is it ok?

Umm, I think from behind but I'm not sure. I saw the number 694 pop up after Braver hit and my first thought was "What the fuck, Cloud?".

Blowing up another reactor: Cloud wakes up the basement of Tifa's bar and heads upstairs to meet with Tifa and Barret. He then explains Materia to Barret (idiot doesn't understand them) and Tifa decides to join us. Yay. Thing is, she's level 5 while Barret is level 7 and Cloud is at 8. Anyways, I mess around with my Materia (Ice and Restore to Cloud and Lightning to Barret) and head out to explore Sector 7. First place I go is to the Item Store. I get a Fire, a 2nd Ice and a 2nd Restore. I loaded the Restore onto Barret and the Fire onto Tifa. I'd rather have them using some Magic and losing out on 1 Strength than not having Magic. Besides, Cure is key for me. Also grabbed an Iron Bangle for Tifa and put the remaining Ice materia on her. Her Strength is already garbage so I might as well up her Magic and use her as a mage for right now. There's a guy on the 2nd floor of the house who will help out newbies to the game. Quite informative too. There's also an All Materia sitting right there which I gave to Barret to combine with Restore. Getting it also gives you a free Ether which is nice. I saved at the save spot there and went to meet AVALANCHE to commence today's mission. Which meant getting to the train. And... I thought trains existed to ride in, not to jump out of. But Cloud and co. apparently need to ditch the train to avoid the ID Checking station so... Yeah. Someone blows the alarm and Shinra starts checking the train early. Fuck. Cloud, Barret and Tifa run through the train to escape security and jump out in the nick of time. And end up in a tunnel of some sort. God damn. Spiders move fast and can use Silk to slow down their target. But that's about it since they pretty much go down in a single hit from Barret and Cloud while Tifa kills them easily with Fire. Robots can do quite a bit of damage with Rocket Launcher and take two hits to go down, no matter who attacks them. Not to mention that they only target Tifa. Blue Fish can put a person to sleep with Hell Bubbles but do piddling amounts of damage. A bunch of lasers block the way to the reactor. So Cloud comes up with the bright idea to jump down a little vent that will lead to Reactor #5. An Ether waits in the vent as a nice little treat for Tifa once she runs out of MP. A little down the path, you run into Wedge who directs you towards the reactor. Then you'll meet Jessie who'll apologize for fucking up the ID Scanner. Following the path will lead you to Biggs, a Tent and a Save Point. The rest of AVALANCHE will then pull out and it's up to our three heroes to finish the job. One thing to note is that Reactor #5 looks almost exactly like Reactor #1 except that the enemies are harder. Pipes can use Smog to blind your party while Turrets can wear down a person's HP with Machine Gun since their HP count is rather high. And Red Wolves will do quite a bit of damage with regular attacks. As soon as you get to the Core, Cloud experience's another vision. Weird. Anyway, Cloud sets the bomb (again) and the party escapes the reactor. I grab an Ether on the way out and then engage in probably the worst thing to ever grace this game: pressing a button. Only takes me 5 tries though. A door opens and I save before heading on. And... shit. Shinra soldiers block my path. And President Shrina decides to grace me with his appearance before sicking his little pet on us and running off. Boss: Airbuster Cloud, Tifa and Barret will surround Airbuster, allowing them to do more damage to him by attacking his back. However, Airbuster can counter with Rear Gun which allows him to keep facing the way he was and Big Bomber which does a lot of damage to his target. Thing is, Big Bomber runs out of ammo after 4 attacks. Once that happens, Airbuster becomes a lot less threatening. Keep everyone alive until Big Bomber runs out of ammo. Braver will do a LOT of damage to Airbuster if Cloud gets his Limit Break while Barret and Tifa make good support machines. Barret should probably heal every turn while Tifa assaults Airbuster with Magic. Battle should end pretty quickly since Cloud can hit almost 700 damage with Braver. Afterwards, Airbuster explodes, taking the bridge and Cloud with him. Tifa tries to save him but Barret holds her back while Cloud falls to his doom. Team Levels and Materia: Cloud - Level 10 - Restore Lv. 1, Ice Lv. 1 Barret - Level 9 - Restore Lv. 1 + All Lv. 1 Tifa - Level 8 - Fire Lv. 1, Ice Lv. 1 Extra Materia: Lightning Lv. 1 Next time: An angel?! No, just a really bad haircut.