Shaky Jones

He's been outta the house for a while now. These memes are what makes Biden forget he's the current president. He's probably watching this as we speak. Keep playing Fates. I enjoyed watching the stats of your FE1 team and comparing them to what little I remember from FE1 enemy stats alongside FE11 averages for remake comparisons, but I can't say I'm registering anything for this team. You can mention Boy growths as much as you like, but I just see it as "it's not Atlas". The math nerd in me weeps. You found the holy weapon! Alm's personal silver bow. This is more or less the grinding room for Celica's rout. This will always be hilarious in SoV. His wife musta fuckin hated him dude. Kinda? Nomah's palette is stellar! This guy is basically middle aged dads dying their hair completely brown/black to remove the gray hairs, only realizing they look uncanny as hell now. Atlas. Trust your instinct. Pobre Ruben. Sounds like Celica's in the lead. Considering how Est is only being voted out of spite, I pity her. I'm still voting Atlas.

Really, you don't have a reason to show any of these maps. We're just waiting for you to nuke Jedoofus. And the rest of the game is what exactly? Truly the 3 Houses of Kaga Era FE. You can easily grind a lot in one of the Lost Woods skirmishes. Surely that was put there for Valbo to do things ater 2 entire acts that explicitly harm armors. Yeah, you won't have to worry about that nonsense in 4. Just the fear of your wife finding out you've been accepting money from the local thief and she dumps you for being an unfaithful homo. Don't just call him Old Man 2, Old Man 3. They call him DJ T. He's in the house, and the house always wins. I'm sure those eyeball monsters will do Boy a great service.

Can't see the combat forecast, so you don't care about FE1 not having it. You're just saying this to remove guilt for dropping your run. There it is. I fuckin treasure this old bastard. Just look at that portrait! Nomah certainly has value in Gaiden. There's more silly nonsense you can pull off in SoV, but when it comes to the average team, aka the entire team, making use of Nomah in Gaiden will generally stand out more. He's nice. Well if there's one thing FE4 can brag about, it's not having swamp maps. Yay. What fight in this game is? Never say his name like that again. If the FE1 playthrough is anything to go by, Nomah will cap speed by endgame.

Who else but Saint Rubenio? *cue laugh track and applause*

"Beginning in the early to mid-40s, many adults may start to have problems seeing clearly at close distances, especially when reading and working on the computer. This is among the most common problems adults develop between ages 41 to 60." -American Optometric Association- I would say something about this, but I honestly don't get half of these words. How my laptop hasn't exploded yet is beyond me. You know how Ruben doesn't pay attention to the living? I'm not really focusing on the stats, even though stats are what I most focus on with this damned franchise. Desaix meeting his online GF in person after 25 years: This makes me slightly happy. You seem to not be enjoying yourself at all. This also makes me slightly happy. Thanks, but I'm more of a I'm gonna start hating Luthyoto from how often I have to see this damn catchphrase. We stick together around here, no matter how much Ruben holds us back. Careful there. I don't want to start calling you Mekkah's cattle. Masks automatically make someone unrecognizable. Canonically, Nuibaba actually still looks like a goblin, but Nuiboobies is what everyone else sees as a result of the mask. I tried once. I dropped the game. If someone says they skipped Thracia lategame, I point and laugh. If someone says they skipped Gaiden maps, I'd say "why the fuck are you playing Gaiden?". I chuckled. Nothing is more tempting than turning off the game.

If you like Hanneman so much, why don't you play 3 Houses and have him in your sig.

I don't know the context of anything, but Arthur in Birthright being an Oni Savage is hysterical. I do hope he will bring sense to Mr Justice Is An Illusion. The boss Xander, not the archer currently employed in your questionable band of quirky lads called an army.

Thanks to your suffering, I don't want to understand it. You would laugh. There is only so much patriotism a Spaniard can have when realizing their game is Thracia, Resident Evil 4, and a modern Pokémon game. It's joever. Honestly, me destroying it would be a favor. Not 0%? It's over. Heck yeah. Now this is what makes Gaiden enjoyable for about 2 seconds. Thanks for letting us consume the good while you vomit the maps green from the bad. I do be loving pirate hats. Easy pickings is losing meaning as a sentence. Ruben was easy pickings for Gaiden. A gun burger. It's a gun between two loafs of bread. You can shoot while eating! I'm hearing a lot of talking, but not a lot of my thing being done.

Damn, you were updating this? Ah well, I'm sure Cord carried hard while he lasted. Well done. I remember my FE12 pmu in which I used Frost, but funnily enough, serenes being serenes led to problems that made me too bitter to finish the LP, so I dropped it very shortly before making it to Gharnef. A shame. Coulda been me that did the world's first Frost Gharnef killer, but at least I killed Hardin with him. Do your rules state it HAS to be Frost? He is within the final 10 units and the units you need to save the princesses aren't the newest ones. Beating without a dancer sucks, but is doable. Lost Feena myself in an FE12 ironman, and that made the lategame stressful as shit, but you really need Frost's again to make things work for Marth spam, as I doubt anyone else can damage Medeus, unless you have a crap-ton of money and forge a brave axe for Kris and pray for multiple crits. That's how a guy (Oh Block on YT) solo'd Medeus with Wendell on lunatic.

Do my thing Ruben. Typical of the elderly to yell about technology they don't understand. For all the great characters Kaga made, he sure likes getting rid of the best ones and hyping up the worst. I'm sure a universe where FE Warriors was good did a Wryf/Moulder/Saul triangle attack. Did you ever hear the tragedy of Shouzou Kaga the Wise? I thought not. It's not tale IntSys would tell you. Hey, with the plague of 3 Houses fans, I'd be happy to execute order 66. Man, Gaiden dungeons woulda been great if they had actual design. We were having a crazy time, until you showed up. This was the only reason Kaga made Gaiden. I love the comical element of hit rate being the best stat for Kaga games, and Binding Blade. Swords and fire were always the best weapons just because you rarely miss. I remember playing FE6 for the first time and praising the Lord upon learning that wyverns and pegs learn swords on promotion. "Finally, my fliers can hit!". No, I don't support this kind of game design. I just find it funny as hell. Although I often hear mega FE6 fans defend bad hits in the game by saying it gives sword locked units more purpose. Guess what? I WANT to use nothing but axes! Well of course I do! FE4 is one of the worst SNES games I have ever pla- Oh you mean about the shields. No. Ruben, I will make a tally chart everytime I miss in Berwick the day I play it. If it exceeds a certain number, you can kiss Spain goodbye.

Okay now do my thing. Well someone at the Fates team sure seemed to have liked it. I believe you fight her twice in SoV. Once here, and then again in endgame, where I actually remember her being in. At least they ripped a decent model. Purple works. You're in Kaga's realm. The Force was never with us. Ruben deserves happiness every now and then. Have you seen how pissy hacking fe6 has gotten him? Cliff rhymes with Riff. Checks out.

Have you gotten sick of the color yet? Imagine playtesters going through Gaiden. "Wow...this game is ass...... Pause the paladins, please." They must've been getting paid in beans. 6/10. Those are the odds of witches doing something competent. Ruben do your thing. I don't get this Goku thing, but I agree with the lesson. Of course. Duma's own Unity. If everyone is purple, racism can't exist. I'm actually confused. What are you referring to?

Above FE7 Please send any instances of such to me. I can show you Trachina dying again in return. I got lucky and lost nobody in chapter 7. I got unlucky and lost Barthe in chapter 13. Win some, lose some. Was really enjoying triangle attack. Then Wendy died shortly after, specifically because she was carried by the triangle. But using her lead to that chapter 12 moment of her getting what was basically a blank while Marcus got a nearly full level up after killing the dragon boss. One of the easiest recruitable kills out there, right next to this: "Hey I just wanted to check on how your Clive and Matilda ar- oh my goodness gracious" Hah, I am winner. You better have done it. I've not been playtesting for a coward this whole time, have I? The picking. One worthy of the grave. He's one of the last people that needs it. Once he promotes, it's over. The power of being Kaga's favorite character yes she has the same defense as my literal Baron Linde is the one you bench for Boah. Dyute is the unit you might as well use because there's no say in who to deploy. Why did Rigel need a god to teach it how to be poor and lacking for resources? Kaga presents North Korea.

The Saint Rubenio employer experience: Saint Rubenio to all of us post playtesting:

Now THIS is a Genealogy map! But uh, just round those cavs to all be in one spot. I am running out of things to say. I don't remember getting killed by criticals this often. Gaiden hates you bro. You got past desert hell, but stopped here, where Force can easily force them up with the help of the 400% speed key that you've become fast friends with by now. Oh well, I can say I'm the real kaga fan and take your spot as a playtester for Vestaria 3. I literally have nothing to say. Ran out of shakes to Jone. Unlucky. Unless Ruben finds something to rant about, I see myself being fairly quiet for these updates. There's only so many times I can keep calling FE4 bad before even getting to it and making fun of Kaga. Come now, what kind of monster do you take me for? I don't kill potential playables. I just shower their cooler siblings with favoritism so I can then point to a modest stat advantage and go "SEE, SEE HE'S BETTER, FUCK YOU BITCH HE'S BETTER THAN YOU, EASY PICKINGS" through my veil of tears. Clive and Matilda fans when Force fans give him the speed rings:

I did say "next time I'm tempted to give PoR another shot." This is an ailment easily cured by looking at PoR's gameplay. On that topic, I must thank you for handily providing a link to your playlog. It looks very tedious. Pointless conversation about PoR gameplay (tl;dr: it's bad) aside, I actually have been replaying PoR, mainly for a community event at a discord server (gross, I know). Yeah it's bad, but at least I'm doing what I can to use units I actually like, although I am making an effort to use all the basic cavs with the intent of giving all of them bows for a maximum bow run. Yes, I'm doing a Shinon run where the goal is to play in the most racist way possible. Also, I killed Titania and Rhys immediately to add challenge and make Ike look worse to pretend that Shinon is the only reason I'm alive. Combining that with the desire to get maximum bonus xp does let me occasionally have fun, which is a lot more than I can say for FE7, but man this playstyle would just not work in maniac. I'd absolutely feel forced to just Titania Oscar solo. Hell, the whole silver weapon thing Gnip mentioned is hilariously enough overshadowed by maniac players just bringing up the forge glitch on 1-2 range forges. I swear this is brought up every time maniac mode is discussed, as if using a literal glitch is the only way to play a difficulty, because that's the only way people can tolerate one of the least player friendly, archer friendly games ever. Even if it's true that barely one shotting 1/4 of the enemy wave being preferable to chipping all of them, it still sounds far worse of an enemy phase hell than anything else other than maybe FE7 (but even fe7 has low requisites for kill stats and the average enemy doesn't just use a jav), but FE9 maniac sounds even less fun seeing those few screenshots of 5 billion enemies that now you can't even kill without dumping all your bexp on the same 3 paladins to low man. Fuck PoR. Sad. This was one of the few strategic stages for me that actually challenged me here. When game balance is Kaga's passion. Yeah, very relatable commoner. Thanks SoV. My brother always brings up that this map is kinda challenging in Gaiden, but that SoV is weird for successfully making something out of this map for using named characters, yet still having one rando paladin instead of putting Slayde there. Also it's SoV, so it's not that hard to clown on the baddies with your combat arts and the like. Love it. Truly the dedication of staying true to Kaga's lack of respect for women. Bravo SoV dev! Anime fan when horny presentation: Anime fans when people aren't as horny as them: Most things in SoV are no brainers, and if the FE4 remake is called Echoes, the term will become synonymous with that. Yeah, when there's no choice but to interpret, you can tell what kind of translator is behind the text. You can really figure out who's based and who's cringe. Case in point, based:

He's a dude from resident evil 3. Cool guy, even if he barely appears, but at least you can play as him in a badass post game mission. Or you can use him in the board game if you're a complete nerd. Great board game. Ruben is bad at Sigurd'ing. Reminds me of how my brother said that Sigurd isn't actually that tanky, only for me to proc several defense growths that led to him tanking all of part 1. Thanks Kaga. He wanted me to speed through the mess just as much as I wanted to have someone put me out of my misery. That's what I'm sayin! I'd say killing him in Gaiden is way easier, but I suppose you don't get Tigerstance Nomah here. Oh well. Too bad SoV doesn't have 10 pitchforks. And actual maps, and no masked losers, and a sensical plot, and no enemy skirmishes, and a cast long enough to warrant replayability. Yes. Those screenshots I sent with people having more than 20 on their stats were photoshopped just to mess with you. Unlucky. ..... ..... Average FE4 map. Okay, so picture this square, but multiplied like a 3 x 3 square. Average FE4 map. You say that, but maniac PoR only encourages average FE7 gameplay even more, as it drastically increases the number of enemies, as well as their defense stat. That and also giving everyone 1-2 range because fuck swords and bows. Xp is lowered to compensate for added enemies, thereby only allowing xp gain to be balanced out by funneling most of it through a handful of 1-2 range using mounts rather than training a larger team with variety. It's easier to just Titania solo, and it's one of the only ways to play while keeping your sanity intact. Sure I suppose there's more choices than FE4, but it's still far, far more limiting than what ANY FE game should be giving you.

Random spawns. The thing I utterly despise about Gaiden/SoV, yet always forget about until it happens. It's like repressing traumatic events. If you no longer have a sense of honor for Kaga's World of NES fantasies and mayhem, you can do what I did. Save state before walking. RNG determines each time you move whether enemies can move or spawn. So, you just keep reloading until it doesn't. Yes, I cheated my way out of playing more maps than I had to, just like how Kaga tried cheating children out of their money with this piece of shit game. Everybody knows Mikhail! Well that's the Engage experience. Raphael. Got it. Nice. Just, nice play all told. I cannot wait for Gnip to display his grand tactics and conjure up strategic plays come the Genealogy run, like sending Sigurd with a silver sword to the front lines, or sending your Forsetti user in gen 2 to the front lines. I hard disagree, he deserves this fountain. It's 3 vs 1 Gnip, or 7 vs 1 because this is me we're talking about. This is what I would unironically do. Well not with that attitude! I don't know if this is just a funny saying or if you're saying you physically have to make several back tracks for fountains you didn't use, but yes, that is another reason I felt that I needed to exploit skirmish spawn rates through save state manipulation. I hated using fountains early on knowing that promo gains are based on what you DON'T have, so I felt obligated to wait until my team was promoted. I like how unnecessary that is in Gaiden as opposed to Echoes, but it's just for the sake of it.

Well that's the Est experience. Well that's the Gaiden experience. Well that's the Gaiden experience. I won't object, but I dont think Ruben is quite done ranting about SoV's writing. I believe I only capped with one person, but it's nice that's its possible. Take responsibility. I pity children whose parents say the kid refuses to grow. That's on you. For shame Gnip I dont know Goku Ball or whatever. I was more of a yugioh nerd. Man the cards I used to play with before the game became actual FEH words words words skills per card. Good times. Dread Fighter Mycen was pretty damn good. You're not at Ruben's level until you look and sound like Garon. You're not at my level until you're fighting intrusive thoughts to not cause extreme harm. If you do reach that level, apply as a police officer.

Won't be any easier on your nintendo PC running at 300% speed 24/7. Funnily enough, that map is usually a piece of cake for me. Valbo gaming. Well that or use Mage Kamui pitchfork who somehow gets the defense and speed to kill everything in sight with minimal risk. I'm sure there's someone who just yells about their opinions and is still sticking to said opinion being right several years later. 2x. Going rather slow aren't ya. Well, suppose it's for the screenshots. Man when those necro-dragon spams clutter act 4, I was going 800% a few times. We all have units we're bad at. This alone makes FE3 B1 better than FE1. And then FE12 listened to all 2 people's complaints of FE3 axing Wrys by making him both a crucial element of the prologue, but also the first showcase of the fe12 unique villains in one of the only actually good gaiden chapters. When you think you're growing, but you actually just hate yourself. Don't worry, that's normal in the FE fandom. My Valbo would've been fast enough. Git gud at Valbo'ing. No need for stat sheets. Those nerdy things tell you that Matthis will be mid, but we all know how broken he truly is. You can just feel it. And I feel that Bors is always game-breaking, every single time. Now he became Punished Gnip. You should hit yourself now. Make up for your mistakes, and ours.

Why show off Subaki being a male pegasus boyo only to rip that right back from us in the next new game? Hell, genderlock seem to be the most common removal when it comes to modern mods. No one likes it! Guess it shoulda been me after all. The Queen Witch. The Hurricane Itch. The bad bi- Elitists calling Clive S tier after losing him 3 times to witches. You better treasure that one screenshot, cuz I ain't ever praising you again. unless you use Cord again. I remember my first SoV run of this map being one of the worst experiences ever. It wasn't the hardest map or anything, but the sheer slowness of it through the sand hell, range hell, and cantor hell made the map last far longer than it should have, single handedly destroying any hope I had for enjoying the game. You remind me of a certain tactician who occasionally wins battles. I take more insult to the 1035 bonewalker myself, but that might be the Valbo solo-er in me not finding archer hell to be the the lowest circle of hell. the main time for grinding is on the not lost woods in act 4, or the invisible cave for Alm, also in act 4. Those weird super zombies do be giving american size xp tho. And yet Catria always ends up better every damn time, even with all the Estvestment. I've never been a fan of min base promotions. Give me my +3. I want to feel the emphasis of promotion that the class appearance gives me. Let the rng bless or screw me over. It's part of the fun! Valbo when Deen map: Valbo when Sonya balls: We should make our own site. We know exactly how to get others to play FE with minimal trauma. Imagine trying to LP in Serenes's current state. Nobody would be trying to do that, right?

Is it actually any good? I'm guessing its still the shit maps. Shit. Most of my post, I was trying to reiterate the fact that nobody but 4 people played fe2. Here, I just wanted to label mr SoV dev under a funny title that reflected how Kaga fans tend to get angry at the idea of liking fe12 over fe3, or the likelihood that fe4 remake will be "ruined" for not playing exactly like the original, but it did come off as contradicting myself. Whoops. I'm just as goofy as SoV devs contradicting themselves by being faithful in every way expect the parts of Gaiden that actually should've been left as is (dont leave in the shitty move limited desert mages, but change the rings ya damn hypocrites!).

I genuinely despise that war masters are male exclusive. It feels like a certainty in SoV, but I'm not quite sure in Gaiden. Is it not the point of a remake to add on to outdated elements and create a refreshing experience of an old classic? Do that, and all you'll get is a team consisting of Celica and Valbo. Tell that to the elitists... Fe11 over fe3 anyday, but I have seen those who just really seem to value the Kaga stamp, so fe3 is an option for some while SoV is just all the shitty elements with even more shitty additions saved by QoL speed alone. Okay, the combat arts are nice, but damn they didn't even try. I guess Kaga fans might enjoy the further usage of brainwashing, but damn man. Fe11 is faithful enough while still adding new elements alongside actual difficulty, although if you simply can't stand the existence of reclassing that you can simply just not do, you do have fe3 for a version with actual numbers on screen. SoV is just the same game with graphics and voices, which doesn't work when very very few people played this game enough to even warrant faithful nostalgia. Fe3 was literally the first FE game to even do well for IS. Fe3 already remade fe1 with QoL changes to the best of Kaga's abilities, although some stupid changes were made..., but at least you expect a remake to do changes. I suppose if it bothers you that much, like Ruben, you can always go back to the original, aka, Guitar Riff. For SoV, you're fucked. Sure, if you ignore the crappy story changes and rings, you can say that SoV is just a better Gaiden by default, but you can't just play it that safe on an old game that desperately needed change. Just because you personally (the dev in this case) wanted the world to get the true Gaiden experience doesn't mean it's what we need or should pay our money for. We should have a new version with new gameplay elements, alongside Gaiden on the NES simply being playable on its own in the online shop that you do fucking nothing with. The consequences of cowardice. "I loved Gaiden and decided the world will love Gaiden if they just gave it a chance under a hidden coat of paint" -average Kaga fan (they hate people experiencing different things)-

Hey. We've all done it. Life happens. Now use Dread fighter Mycen. How do you take the 99% of what makes Gaiden shit, and crop out the 1% of structure that was actually done properly. It's not super innovative, but Sacred Stones clearly liked the idea enough. The consequences of cowardice. He's actually an undercover Duma faithful, but gave in to Valbar's Gaiden stare that petrifies you or your falchion. No way he was gonna try to fight Celica with that guy around. To think that Kris is the closest we'll get to a relevant character who is just a guy. Or girl, but your class choices aren't cool. This is me asking for someone to mod female warriors in. Player: "Oh, a desert map. Wait! This is actually genius! My team is almost all mages. I'll dash past all the sand and epically own the baddies. Its like the one time deserts will work!" ...... why can't my mages move... w h y a r e t h e y a l l a r c h e r s . . . . . WHHHHYYYYYYYYY!?!?!? Good, good. Let the hate flow through you Oh I am enjoying this. My official request is that you replay the chapter for a better growth roll. You see, you're supposed to be miserable playing Genealogy. War isn't fun in real life! And yet the pathway to le cults and brainwashed children was already set in stone. Very creative Kaga boy. There is no reason to be faithful to THAT. Who the actual fuck is a Gaiden fan that would feel tarnished at the thought of desert maps playing like desert maps over crawling the Sahara Desert while dehydrated and limb-less? It's just you Mr Dev. Ruben old. Laugh. I kinda like act 6. I fucking hate SoV though. Both NES games need QoL, although SD is simply far too superior to justify going back to FE1, while FE2 has funny rings and a lack of a nauseating plot defended by pretty voices. also you can use common fucking sense and play fe3 for fe1 with a fucking UI and an actual convoy/trading system. And they say I'm pessimistic... It's called common sense. The maps are shit. Interdimensional Optomist must now become Pessimistic Observer. My laptop is refusing to charge again, so im once more stuck on phone serenes, giving me 10% of the frustration that Gnip will be experiencing in the updates to come.

Well that's just disrespectful. Ruben's right there.