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Rate the Unit, Day 30: Duessel


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Right. I'm going to bed.

FERS, if you want to retool your vote (note: not necessarily your score) into justification I'll accept overnight, feel free to do so. I'm not spiteful enough yet to throw out a re-do.

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This is a clip of Duessel's epic story in FE8. Starting in chapter 11 Eph-route.

Ephraim: Alright, so here we have the gayest chapter in FE8, if that was possible in this game. We have FoW and a bunch of flying enemies coming from all directions and we have to cross the entire map so we can recruit nubfuck L'arachel and Dozla before they die. Who's with me?

Franz: I'm good, but I don't really want to face more than 4 or so enemies.

Kyle: Me too.

Forde: Me three.

Ephraim: **** you guys.

Seth: I'm up to the task, but I'm only one unit.

Gilliam: I can survive, but my spd is terrible and I never double anything.

Garcia: My speed is almost as bad but I have 10 less def.

Ross: I wish I could be as good as my dad!

Moulder: I'm MOULDAH THE BOULDAH, but unfortunately I can't counter.

Natasha: I can heal!

Tana: I can fly!

Amelia: I can be cannon fodder!

Vanessa: I'm still building my supports and I can't survive without them.

Lute: Me too!

Artur: I'm Lute with less durability.

Neimi: What's 1-range? Is it something you can write with?

Colm: I can see through the fog, and that's about it.

Joshua: I'm Colm without seeing through the fog.

Cormag: The mogalls are going to slaughter me.

Duessel: I have 17 base def and 41 HP and 17 str and 12 spd and 15 inch penis. I mean con. 15 con. I even have 9 res so I laugh at the mogalls.

Franz: WTF? What is this gayness?

Seth: 17 def? Even I don't have that much!

Duessel: That's what you get for soloing the last 10 chapters, Seth. Now it's my turn to solo some maps.

Ephraim: Okay everyone, we're all out of a job. Let's pack our bags and go home and leave everything to Sean Connery.

Monsters: YEAH RIGHT! IF WE ATTACK HIM AT THE SAME TIME HE'LL SURELY DIE.

Duessel: *strokes beard*

*monsters fall dead*

Everyone else: FFFFFFFFFF-

Dozla: WTF? I have a beard! How come I'm not as good?

Duessel: You're goddamn Gimli, you're only for comic relief.

Later on in the game...

Kyle: Aha! I suppose your high base level has caught up to you now, huh?

Duessel: I don't care.

Neimi: What? But your spd is bad!

Duessel: I have anima affinity and two great supports with both Cormag and Ephraim, which will give me a huge amount of att and avoid with some def to pad my 17 base def even more.

Joshua: WTF? Why do you AND Seth have anima affinity and mounts? Are you two related?

Duessel: Oh, and I also have A-ranks in swords, lances, and axes, which means I can S-Rank any weapon type i want, as well as use more or less every weapon in the game. And Garm gives me +5 spd, which is my only problem stat, and the only other axe users who can realistically S-rank axes are bad and won't be used often enough to worry. And if that wasn't enough, I can use brave weapons lying around with little to no AS loss thanks to my 15 con. I mean penis. No, I mean con.

Everyone else: FFFFFFFFF-

Eirika: Why couldn't I get a h4x prepromo on my route?

Duessel: You did, the w1n was just split between Innes and Saleh.

Moral of the story: Don't screw around with 17 base def, anima affinity, and access to every weapon in the game, including garm.

9/10

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This is a clip of Duessel's epic story in FE8. Starting in chapter 11 Eph-route.

Ephraim: Alright, so here we have the gayest chapter in FE8, if that was possible in this game. We have FoW and a bunch of flying enemies coming from all directions and we have to cross the entire map so we can recruit nubfuck L'arachel and Dozla before they die. Who's with me?

Franz: I'm good, but I don't really want to face more than 4 or so enemies.

Kyle: Me too.

Forde: Me three.

Ephraim: **** you guys.

Seth: I'm up to the task, but I'm only one unit.

Gilliam: I can survive, but my spd is terrible and I never double anything.

Garcia: My speed is almost as bad but I have 10 less def.

Ross: I wish I could be as good as my dad!

Moulder: I'm MOULDAH THE BOULDAH, but unfortunately I can't counter.

Natasha: I can heal!

Tana: I can fly!

Amelia: I can be cannon fodder!

Vanessa: I'm still building my supports and I can't survive without them.

Lute: Me too!

Artur: I'm Lute with less durability.

Neimi: What's 1-range? Is it something you can write with?

Colm: I can see through the fog, and that's about it.

Joshua: I'm Colm without seeing through the fog.

Cormag: The mogalls are going to slaughter me.

Duessel: I have 17 base def and 41 HP and 17 str and 12 spd and 15 inch penis. I mean con. 15 con. I even have 9 res so I laugh at the mogalls.

Franz: WTF? What is this gayness?

Seth: 17 def? Even I don't have that much!

Duessel: That's what you get for soloing the last 10 chapters, Seth. Now it's my turn to solo some maps.

Ephraim: Okay everyone, we're all out of a job. Let's pack our bags and go home and leave everything to Sean Connery.

Monsters: YEAH RIGHT! IF WE ATTACK HIM AT THE SAME TIME HE'LL SURELY DIE.

Duessel: *strokes beard*

*monsters fall dead*

Everyone else: FFFFFFFFFF-

Dozla: WTF? I have a beard! How come I'm not as good?

Duessel: You're goddamn Gimli, you're only for comic relief.

Later on in the game...

Kyle: Aha! I suppose your high base level has caught up to you now, huh?

Duessel: I don't care.

Neimi: What? But your spd is bad!

Duessel: I have anima affinity and two great supports with both Cormag and Ephraim, which will give me a huge amount of att and avoid with some def to pad my 17 base def even more.

Joshua: WTF? Why do you AND Seth have anima affinity and mounts? Are you two related?

Duessel: Oh, and I also have A-ranks in swords, lances, and axes, which means I can S-Rank any weapon type i want, as well as use more or less every weapon in the game. And Garm gives me +5 spd, which is my only problem stat, and the only other axe users who can realistically S-rank axes are bad and won't be used often enough to worry. And if that wasn't enough, I can use brave weapons lying around with little to no AS loss thanks to my 15 con. I mean penis. No, I mean con.

Everyone else: FFFFFFFFF-

Eirika: Why couldn't I get a h4x prepromo on my route?

Duessel: You did, the w1n was just split between Innes and Saleh.

Moral of the story: Don't screw around with 17 base def, anima affinity, and access to every weapon in the game, including garm.

9/10

Fucking win.

My phone read me this story with playback mode, in microsoft Sam voice.

fuck this shit. Integ, I'm changing my vote up to 8.75.

I'll be cannon fodder! Fucking win :D

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the only other axe users who can realistically S-rank axes are bad
Gerik can hit S-axes pretty realistically, he starts at C or something upon promotion. I pulled it off in a draft (that i'm still doing).

Also 8/10, read: smash's post

Edited by Mercenary Raven
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I usually like to playerphase Devil Axe Gerik's axe to S when Eirika route, as in hit something, then swap his shit so he doesn't accidentally himself on EP.

Works pretty well :D

Edited by Luminescent Blade
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*gets a lawn chair and some popcorn*

(Finishes own popcorn.)

FERS is basing it off of PE and growths, lulz.

Also, after reading smashes post, change my vote to 9.75/10.

Who the fuck cares about max stats unless its fe10 endgame in NM/HM?

Also, Neimi is illiterate, lol.

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Duessel is a beast, regardless of who you play as (though Ephraim gets the opportunity to use him more than Eirika). I don't think anything really needs to be said about him that hasn't already been said. 8.5/10, only because of movement issues plus the fact that he has dual weakness to anti-horse and anti-armor weapons (which doesn't really matter much for Duessel since he has high DEF, but it's still annoying).

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WHY PEOPLE LIKE DUESSEL

-Prepromote

-Great base stats and good base speed

-Manry

-Good weapon ranks

WHY I DON'T LIKE DUESSEL AS MUCH

-Average move means I'd rather use someone like Gerik who packs the same firepower, won't be dying anyways despite significantly less durability, and more speed

-Duessel's biggest use is in chapter...er, um, 10? 11? Whatever, I'm talking about Ghost Ship. Anyways, that chapter, and then after that he's relegated to "just another good unit" status. Nothing wrong with that, of course.

-He's the only prepromote in the game who starts out at level 8, meaning he not only has less room to grow but gains less EXP. I dunno, it's not THAT much of a negative, but it's not much incentive to give him any kills

-Not Seth

-The Great Knight class sucks. Yes, he can use 3 weapons, but with increased movement penalties and double weaknesses that don't matter because Duessel is too awesome for that shit so why am I mentioning them, it takes the fucker even LONGER to get to the enemy.

-Because he's only available for half of the game.

7/10

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I actually have trouble getting Duessel to S axes unless I let him kill some gorgon eggs with a Devil Axe.

That's assuming Eirika Duessel, right? From my experience, if I have Eir!Gerik spam steels enough, even he can hit S by endgame. I wouldn't imagine Eph!Duessel having any issues.

Edited by General Horace
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Gerik can hit S-axes pretty realistically, he starts at C or something upon promotion. I pulled it off in a draft (that i'm still doing).

He starts at D, actually. That's... 220 attacks with a Hand Axe. I'd question if that's possible on Ephraim Route since it means he needs to kill something like 15 enemies every chapter.

Edited by Anouleth
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Right, in the absence of a rebuttal to my rebuttal I'm assuming FERS isn't revoting for this round.

He'll get an 8.5 from me and tallying.

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