XRay Posted December 8, 2019 Share Posted December 8, 2019 My cat is under my blanket with me, but she keeps pushing my thighs and butt with her paws. I generally do not mind, but she often times relaxes her claws so they poke out of her paws a bit, so sometimes I feel like something spikey is poking me. My cat relaxed her claws more than usual just so it feels more spikey and she just had to keep making biscuits on my butt, and I guess my butt subconsciously had enough of it and let a huge aromatic one rip. I lift the blanket a little to check if she is okay and see if she wanted to come out. She laid there and did not scurry out, but she had her head tilted back a bit as if she looked disgusted and took the full blast of the fart straight to her face. I know I keep my butt pretty clean so it does not smell, but you can at least nap in a position where you are not putting your whiskers so close to my butt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLuckyHaiku Posted December 8, 2019 Share Posted December 8, 2019 This topic is the epitome of humanity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Espurrhoodie Posted December 8, 2019 Share Posted December 8, 2019 One time when I was 8 or 9 I was watching Harry Potter on one of those portable DVD players and my dog was sitting right next to my head and then he let one rip. A few weeks ago, my grandma was carrying the same dog upstairs with her to bed and then she started smelling something weird and she thought there was a gas leak so she started looking all over the place to see where there was a leak until she realised that it was just the silent but deadly dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilda Posted December 8, 2019 Share Posted December 8, 2019 I am speechless. This Information is all I needed for my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Karnage Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 For the cat F Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Espurrhoodie Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 art. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanes Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 Ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 One time I burped so loud I made my cat jump. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted December 9, 2019 Author Share Posted December 9, 2019 4 hours ago, MyLuckyHaiku said: This topic is the epitome of humanity. 2 hours ago, Hilda said: I am speechless. This Information is all I needed for my life. 25 minutes ago, Espurrhoodie said: art. I am glad my magnum opus made a significant contribution to the world's body of knowledge/literature. 3 hours ago, Espurrhoodie said: One time when I was 8 or 9 I was watching Harry Potter on one of those portable DVD players and my dog was sitting right next to my head and then he let one rip. A few weeks ago, my grandma was carrying the same dog upstairs with her to bed and then she started smelling something weird and she thought there was a gas leak so she started looking all over the place to see where there was a leak until she realised that it was just the silent but deadly dog. I can confirm dogs can be silent but deadly. I had to puppy sit once for my uncle. The puppy did not fart, but the puppy does have a really strong dog smell, and smells a little poopy too. My poor kitty threw up about half dozen times throughout those two days when she walks past my bathroom (that is where I kept the puppy). 27 minutes ago, Captain Karnage said: For the cat F Here is another one. F I farted in her face again a while later, although it was a much smaller fart. I guess this is how you know if your pet really loves you, if they are willing to sleep under the same blanket as you and smell your fart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Espurrhoodie Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 2 minutes ago, XRay said: I am glad my magnum opus made a significant contribution to the world's body of knowledge/literature. Actually me saying "art" was me adding an "art" to @Captain Karnage's F to make "fart" because I have the maturity of a 10 year old. This is art, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted December 9, 2019 Author Share Posted December 9, 2019 6 minutes ago, Espurrhoodie said: Actually me saying "art" was me adding an "art" to @Captain Karnage's F to make "fart" because I have the maturity of a 10 year old. This is art, though. Fart art is the best art. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BergelomeuSantos Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 I guess this is the day of F-Arts with animals. My latest pet (and first cat), Nolah (secretly named after Nolan and Noah), ended up with a similar situation to yours today, although the blast was 'probably' smaller. She just lifted the blanked like nothing happened, walked to my side and just looked me into the eyes..with the most disrespect and disgust that I ever experienced.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freohr Datia Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 f take solace in the fact that you're already better than Integrity, who farts on the cat intentionally to assert his dominance Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 1 minute ago, Freohr Datia said: take solace in the fact that you're already better than Integrity, who farts on the cat intentionally to assert his dominance Somebody sig this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted December 9, 2019 Author Share Posted December 9, 2019 29 minutes ago, BergelomeuSantos said: I guess this is the day of F-Arts with animals. My latest pet (and first cat), Nolah (secretly named after Nolan and Noah), ended up with a similar situation to yours today, although the blast was 'probably' smaller. She just lifted the blanked like nothing happened, walked to my side and just looked me into the eyes..with the most disrespect and disgust that I ever experienced.. I would love to see that reaction! Sounds funny. 25 minutes ago, Freohr Datia said: f take solace in the fact that you're already better than Integrity, who farts on the cat intentionally to assert his dominance I intentionally farted on my cat once since I was curious to see what her reaction would be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mukmuk Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 Nice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Etrurian emperor Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 You think that's bad? My cat doesn't even want to be under a blanket with me 😥 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karimlan Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 Wait till your cat has enough intellect to operate a cigarette lighter and spark up the next time you break wind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Espurrhoodie Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 11 hours ago, Freohr Datia said: take solace in the fact that you're already better than Integrity, who farts on the cat intentionally to assert his dominance My stepdad does that to my mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilda Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 2 hours ago, Espurrhoodie said: My stepdad does that to my mom. I am sorry wut? o.o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Espurrhoodie Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 8 minutes ago, Hilda said: I am sorry wut? o.o My mom and stepdad like to antagonize eachother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted December 9, 2019 Author Share Posted December 9, 2019 1 hour ago, Espurrhoodie said: My mom and stepdad like to antagonize eachother. Interesting. What is the next step in the arms race? Sneeze on your hand and then lightly slap someone? Scratch your buttcrack and poke someone in the nose with the scratching finger? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 @Espurrhoodie Your parents are neanderthals and I find that hilarious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Espurrhoodie Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 3 hours ago, XRay said: Interesting. What is the next step in the arms race? Sneeze on your hand and then lightly slap someone? Scratch your buttcrack and poke someone in the nose with the scratching finger? I don't even want to know. 1 hour ago, Dragoncat said: @Espurrhoodie Your parents are neanderthals and I find that hilarious. I can't believe that's my gene pool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted December 9, 2019 Author Share Posted December 9, 2019 4 minutes ago, Espurrhoodie said: I don't even want to know. As the Latin saying goes, "si vis pacem, para bellum"—if you want peace, prepare for war. I recommend researching and investing in a nuclear weapon, such as wearing a pair of socks for a whole month without washing it, and then you will have a pair of weapons that you can dual wield for self defense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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