Let's Play: Empire Total War! - Knights of St. John run

[IGdood]

Oh great, so we'll be eventually be fighting Russia? In Soviet Russia... wait, it's not even the time for that... or perhaps it never will be.

Gah, no, White Base got heavily damaged! Phew, at least it didn't sink. At least I'm prepared for that in the case it does sink, I'm requesting it's replacement be called 'Argama'. lol

Oh boy, so it's Mexico next. Ever since it showed up I was fearing this. Now I'm in a loyalty crisis... wait, the map doesn't even show the part where I live. So who cares anyway!? Go forth Knights of St. John! *shot*

We may be fighting Russia, or maybe not. Who knows, eventually we'll be at war with everyone.

I'll keep that in mind, if you still want Steamships.

Nooooooo who shot Acacia?! Fuckin' Light Infantry!

The enemy garrison sallies forth with random infantry and cavalry......where's the rest of their force? Oh...exiting the fort. Right.

A few cannonballs rip through their Household Cavalry.

The Marksboyz are so awesome I can't even see what they're shooting at!

I've never seen the AI build one of these. Too bad they won't get to use it . -orders cannons to fire at the puckle guns-

Guttersnipers enjoy hunting enemy light infantry. It's like a game.

I was sure these Frontiersmen are in range, but they continue walking forward and get shot.

I bet they got pork chop sandwiches in nice little baskets next to their rifle cartridges and ammo.

Platoon firing mode. Just let it ripple down the line.

I was wondering why these line infantry were taking insane casualties. Friendly fire from the green dragoons behind them. Damn, what a waste of level 6 infantry.

ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY WALTZ INTO THE ORDER

Facebiters, fold back just in case those cavalry get too close!

They swerve to avoid the shotguns, and straight into muskets. Fools.

Meanwhile, a lot of enemy Guard infantry rush into the melee, but not before getting thinned out.

Alright...let's change our facing so we can get a clear line of fire...

The cannon crew gets caught in the melee, and i order a retreat.

Foolish frontiersmen, choosing to melee my infantry instead of shooting them (where they'll have a better chance of winning)

Order Militia kicking ass.

Of course, ass can't be kicked without shotguns.

"You got guts. Let's see them." - Facebiter

Bird's eye view of the line so far.

Ha, the Avon Gate Foot fire off pistols for shits and giggles.

m, my Order Foot Guards have run out of ammo. Well...CHARGE!

Victory is imminent at this point.

I inched the shotgunners closer since the shotguns lose effectiveness quite a lot with increasing distance.

Victory....Mexico belongs to the Order. Sorry Acacia, you have my condolences.

And the MVP goes to....a unit of Order Militia. Huh.

I'm sorry, no peace. You WILL join the Order of St. John.

Next up....we look to the north....

[Acacia Sgt]

We may be fighting Russia, or maybe not. Who knows, eventually we'll be at war with everyone.

I'll keep that in mind, if you still want Steamships.

Nooooooo who shot Acacia?! Fuckin' Light Infantry!

Heh, indeed. At this rate everyone still standing will see the Knights as a menace, if they don't already...

Oh, quite. If what you plan is for another Steamship regardless of how White Base's state is, in that case the name can go for that one, it's fine.

Them Nationalists! Of course, supporting the Order means I'm a traitor to them. But it's okay, now that we have Mexico, I'm fine anyway since it means it'll be in better hands as part of the Order.

[IGdood]

Heh, indeed. At this rate everyone still standing will see the Knights as a menace, if they don't already...

Oh, quite. If what you plan is for another Steamship regardless of how White Base's state is, in that case the name can go for that one, it's fine.

Them Nationalists! Of course, supporting the Order means I'm a traitor to them. But it's okay, now that we have Mexico, I'm fine anyway since it means it'll be in better hands as part of the Order.

Gotcha.

So, Mexico is one of those big colonies. It's got factories, a trade port, a dock for building ships of the line, even a school for research......best of all, the population is Catholic, so they're loyal to the Order in no time.

Let's move north now that we have a small garrison present.

Ah, Secular Humanism. A late game tech that's great when you're conquering foes of a different religion to yours....oh wait it's useless now since I've erased the Ottomans from the game. Anyways, it cuts religious unrest in half.

Welcome to Texas. No, there's no Alamo here.

Power Loom GET. Well...income's gonna go up! Well, kinda. It'll help my cities recover faster after all that heavy taxing to fund the war against the Ottomans (and to a lesser extent, the Polish)

The Pueblo sally out! I'm ready for ba---wait who are....what...MUGHAL? Also, the Guttersnipers are in command of the battle.

This weather makes me sad. Anyways, the Guttersnipers are on higher terrain than the infantry in font, which is good because then they can snipe behind the line in safety.

The Mughal reinforcements came from behind the Pueblo army, intercepting them. However, some Pueblo cavalry made it to my lines...only to be turned into Swiss cheese.

Mughal Cavalry ride to the front, cutting up as many natives as they can while they're cut up themselves.

Those are some pretty colorful archers.

While the native archers....well they were firing a bit at my lines, but then it seems they're pulling back to fight the Mughals.

I'm sure fighting the Mughals is preferable to being shot by this.

Some of the natives too far away fromt he Mughal decide to just attack the flanks of my lines. The Facebiters move in to pull off a THOU SHALT NOT PASS

They started firing a bit too late, so a few go down to tomahawks. However, they're Shotgunners. they're made for situations like these....and their weapons are most effective at close range.

Now I'm just gonna sit back and watch those two armies square off against each other.

These Mughal archers just let off arrow after arrow after arrow.....I wonder how they would stand up to the Marksboyz, or perhaps the ANGRY MARINES, ALL THE FUCKING TIME

Those white things in the screenshot are arrows, shot by horse archers, heheheh.

One of these days, when we are at war with the Mughals, I'm going to have fun fighting these guys. They have bows, but get too close and.....

....and they pull out sword and shield to kick asses with.

These natives threw some tomahawks before charging...

And these....well we can see it all here.

And the battle concludes with a volley of musket fire.

For some reason, I felt like a green Fire Emblem NPC for this battle.

Thank you Mughals, now Texas is ours. Heheh, I'm sure we'll have fun fighting them....after we deal with Poland, I suppose.

We find a trade node previously occupied by a Mexican trading fleet. It's off the coast of South America.

Next stop, New Mexico.

Scouting around the Italian peninsula has revealed that the Polish have left it undefended. Am I really being that much of a problem in Istanbul? What would you have done if you were Poland?

A turn and lots of money later, here's a decent enough army.

Siege time.

Well, so much for a trading node in South America. Poland shows up with a fucking fleet and kicks my ass.

No peace man, it's time for you to join the Order too!

Naples belongs to us now.

The Pueblo try on a last resort sally.

There's no Mughal army to do our work, but we got mines. In front of our cannons. -cue evil laugh-

I'd like to see cavalry charge the Facebiters now.

Suicidal lancers charge the cannons...and are greeted with shot....

Fougasse mine.....

Someone should watch the Last Samurai.

Then the horde arrives.

Gun 'em down. I don't care if you're sympathetic to the natives. You can always watch Last of the Mohicans.

NO MERCY.

Let them return to the embrace of their Mother Earth.

[IGdood]

Wow, can't believe this thread hit over 5000 views.

Blam, blam, blam

Canister shot is great, as usual.

But this time it didn't stop the natives. They engaged the cannon crew in melee, who also refused to retreat for some reason. The Guttersnipers will not have this bullshit, and fire into the melee. Grandmaster Skitarii approves of this badassery.

Well looks like this guy isn't getting the promotion. Hint: Guy in the white officer's coat.

Bitches don't know 'bout my shotguns.

Now how the hell did Jaguar Squad suffer this many losses? Oh, let me theorize. They got caught in melee somehow, and ran into spikes chasing routing enemies, and died.

Grandmaster Skitarii does not approve of such unfortunate events.

The artllery crew are cut down to a man (and don't rout). Well actually, they'll be replaced by something else soon. Gotta admit, the AI is smart for not sending their general on a suicide mission first.

Goodbye, Pueblo.

[IGdood]

Our plan for world domination is underway.....mwahahahahha.

The order brings enlightenment to these noble natives (who now wear the uniform of the Order and fight for us, as if the axemen I left back in Europe weren't already doing so)

By enlightenment, I mean tearing down their inferior structures and ushering in our own system of absolute monarchy, pleasure gardens, and factories for profit.

The army from Naples has landed at Rome. I just hope a certain white-hooded assassin doesn't show up.....if you know what I mean.

This is a steam engine. It'll let me upgrade my industrial buildings to be steam-powered. In fact, Empire Total War runs on Steam.

With New Mexico loyal it's time to move upwards into the wilderness.

A Polish invasion force suddenly lands on Jamaica. I shit over 9000 bricks and go"WTF". I lose Jamaica. Judging by their hats, these guys seem to be from India.

Your tribe's time is up, Plains Nations.

Wow, they don't have much of an army, huh?

Club memberships for the Knights? HOHOHO.

Besieged.

I muster up recruits and existing units from the surrounding islands. Jamaica will ours again.

Mm, Free Trade Doctrine. This unlocks the last trading port structure and increases trade income.

I bet this battle will be over with fewer than 10 casualties.

It's a bit chilly, but we have our uniforms.

I assume they'll be stone cold and 6 feet under soon.

Yeah they can't even get close enough.

Especially with the mine.

It was boring. I didn't take any more screenshots, and I forgot to take a pic of the unit statistics screen....

Ah, right, Free Trade Doctrine unlocked this.

American Infantry Mercenaries. Identical to regular line infantry, but more numerous.

Yeah Jamaica belongs to us now.

Interchangeable parts will boost our economy a bit.

I sent over a single ship to transport our whole army after we're done conquering that bit of territory.

Lulz They don't even have an army....

Conquered.

Poland and I agree to a ceasefire.

Only to have them declare war again 2 turns later, where I have already replenished my garrisons and repaired my buildings. Oh, and raised a few armies.

I'm a bit bored of having to grind down full stack after full stack of their armies in ridiculously long defense battles. Now's time to go on the offensive. From Istanbul, I send an army to Bulgaria. There's no guarantee they'll win, but I'm optimistic in my abilities to handle being outnumbered.

We have a new monarch.

Many stars. Piercing stare. But he's old.

I find my income going down to support my new armies. And I don't want to wait for the main army all the way in Huron territory to do all the conquering, so I send an invasion force against Gran Columbia.

I also build up a force to invade Gibraltar. Of course, the Dutch are already pissed off at me for being so threatening, but they probably won't declare war on me. If they do, that's fine. I'm sure I can handle them also by seizing their prized territories. However, they've got plenty of full-stack fleets sailing around. While not as advanced as the Polish navies, they can easily squeeze all my income away if they do blockade Malta...but that's what the Indefatigable and co. are for, right? Plus, I've got a lot of 4th rates sailing around.

From Rome I hope to drive into the mainland. I'm not sure what direction I'll be taking, but I'll have to defeat those armies up there first.

The losses will surely be heavy, and while these armies are running around my income won't be very high from their wages. Of course, I'll be mustering reserves. to make sure that if an offensive army is defeated, then the settlements won't be completely defenseless.......Considering I have plenty of cities that can train 7 units per turn, that should be good enough.

[IGdood]

OP DELIVERS.

This is the first battle of many. The invasion has begun.

Double line, cannons in front, howitzers in the rear.

Advance. I've wondered if I should name units in these other invasion armies. You guys can too if you want....

Their general goes on a suicide charge against my horse artillery. Wtf?

Should've sent other less important cavalry....oh wait they're busy hitting my flanks. Nothing I can't handle.

I split my force into two groups since the Polish are kinda split too, with reinforcements coming in from behind my army.

I'm really digging the gloves......no seriously they're like....I want them. I only have vinyl gloves, not these fancy white butler gloves.

As I sit back and watch all I can think about is how the gunpowder age really makes the individual soldier so...insignificant. In Medieval and Rome Total War experienced elite soldiers can hold back enemies many times. However, in Empire....anyone dies just as easily thanks to all the bullets flying around. Victory goes to whoever can point the most guns at the enemy.

As gaps open up in my frontal firing line units from the rear line can fill them in. Gaps can appear from shifting my units around, not by losses.

Those Howitzer quicklime shots are really devastating if you don't pay attention. I always get a kick out of shooting the crew.

Things are going well on this end.

The Polish know they can't match my output of gunfire, so they try to melee my troops to death. Sorry pal, my soldiers are better.

Feelsgoodman to see the enemy rout.

Western Mercenaries vs. Eastern Mercenaries,lol

The single unit of Order cavalry in this army have the job of intercepting cavalry...

I really should start showing what's happening on the other end of the battlefield.

Just riding down some riflemen.

I think I'll just have the cavalry suicide themselves, charge forth and cut down those artillery!

Well bayonet charges work nicely too.

Cavalry ended up getting mobbed by riding to the edge of the map where all the reinforcements came in. Reminded me of some stupid mistakes I made in Fire Emblem.

Ended up with that other force routing due to the overwhelming amount of reinforcements. I pull my forces together and get ready to meet them.

This unit of line infantry bought time as I reformed my forces. Their sacrifice will be remembered.

REVENGE FOR OUR FALLEN BROTHERS. For every one of us who falls, TEN more will take his place!

Whoa, grenadiers. Melee experts, but I'll just shoot 'em in the back.

HHHHNNNNNNNGGGGHH

My own Order Grenadiers wreak havoc.

Victory.

Of course, I knew this would happen. Before I got a chance to replenish, the Polish counterattack in full force.

We may have the lower numbers, but we'll pull through. For the St. John and our ancestors the Hospitallers!

A few stakes will go a long way.

Quicklime ruins those cavalrymen's day.

Well actually musket balls ruined their day. Quicklime just made them feel bad. Really bad.

Square formations too, even if you didn't have bayonets.

We seem to be surrounded. But we're Airborne Fusiliers, we're meant to be surrounded!

The Polish grenadier guards charge my line. I guess they realized that they're better off meleeing my infantry.

But I guess they didn't take into account the ORDER grenadiers, who kick ass with their hats.

HAY HAY HAY Y U RUN AWAY

Here's an opening. It's actually alright to tell your men to fire at will for situations like these. They're at least smart enough to NOT shoot when it's certain they'll hit a fellow soldier. They try their best. This is why riflemen are great. They're good enough to fire into a messy melee and you can expect most of their shots to not hit your men. Most.

Battle is going okay, line is holding.

The lesser Polish flee, but these grenadiers are such hardasses.

Time to get those annoying artillery.... My own howitzers could only do so much.

Either we advance or we hold the line forever, I SAID ADVANCE!

Also, that FUCKING 20-man Howitzer crew was either glitched or outright cheating. The game gave EACH man an invisible howitzer loaded with quicklime. The result was 20 FUCKING quicklime shells bombarding my line every 30 seconds. I called bullshit and promptly shot all of them.

Victory. Fucking hax howitzers.....why can't my own be that epic?

[IGdood]

Now we shift to Gran Columbia. They sally out.

Native Musketmen to take bullets, actual damage dealing line infantry in the back.

The Columbians don't move. So I split my force, and move up some infantry to shoot at them to maybe provoke them into actually attacking.

They march.

Their pitiful light cavalry are no match for my soldiers!

Pointy sticks!

The battle rages...but wait...why am I taking so many losses? Is it the Frontiersmen? Wtf? I'm the one with Fire By Rank here, NOT THEM! I'd like to have some of what they're smoking.

I mean, they fucking melt in a melee, but why are they causing so many losses in a shootout? It doesn't make sense!

RAGE. Can't see shit on the rain!

Things are much better on the other side of the battlefield...I think.

Epic fail, it takes 4 line infantry with FIRE BY RANK to beat up two inferior units of line infantry. What.

Does this remind you of the way I played my Prussian armies? Light infantry to take the hits.

Well it was a win, and I had no idea why I lost so much men. Ridiculous.

On another note, we make our way to the East coast....of what is called Canada today.

We capture Genoa, Liguria. It was....unguarded.

Well, given how unhappy the people are it seems a rebellion will occur soon.

Well, I knew the Gran Columbians weren't done yet. It's the force from their second and last province.

Well, we begin with cavalry swarming us, but they're just colonial lights, nothing too serious.

Hey hey hey leave the archers alone!

Well, time to get out of our trenches since that side of the line will never be attacked.

Well looks like they're dying pretty easily now to fire by rank.

Up and at 'em, lads!

Yeah they retreated and regrouped, so here's the final push.

Aside from the fact that the rain is annoying my vision, you gotta admit I really like the graphics. Scenery Porn.

I didn't feel like shooting. My men are leveled and have bayonets. They don't. Charge = win.

Should've just melee'd everyone from the very beginning.

That's not the Avon Gate Foot.

Win.

No peace.

New Andalusia is ours!

That's right Inuit, you're next.

And Gran Columbia too.

So you're probably wondering what I'm doing with one ship. (actually 2, since I reloaded because I messed something up). Okay, so I wanted to attack Gibraltar. But, it's a small province, and the Polish armies on it blocked it in such a way I could not attack them. So, I decide to try a naval invasion instead of walking on that land bridge. Well, there was a Polish fleet occupying the port, and the Dutch were very adamant in not consenting to let my armies march through their lands. A fleet can't attack another fleet docked in port either. So what do I do? I park my big fleet outside the interception zone of the Polish fleet. Then I send in two really weak ships that were sure to be intercepted by the Polish fleet. Well, they fell for the trap, and the big fleet will arrive as reinforcements.

The sacrificial Indiaman trade ships go off to battle.

The Indefatigable seems to have two officers on board....one admiral, plus the captain of the ship.

This Indiaman manages to board some ship. It gets sunk shortly after due to major suckage.

The bad thing about reinforcements in a naval battle is that they're impossible to organize. Groupings fail and the wind is against me. I'll have to make do with the best of it and just micromanage like a boss.

As the Polish line looms closer I try my best to give them a warm welcome with my own disorganized line.

That enemy Steamship went down really easily.

Rocket ship targeting Intimidation, which takes zero damage because it probably unnerved the rockets to the point where they forgot to explode.

Light galleys zip around the bigger ships, putting in a few shots here and there before getting sunk. The heavy first rates turn around slowly before unleashing hell.

Things quickly turn into a mess, with me clicking like it was Starcraft.

Here White Base trolls a Second Rate by remaining always a few feet ahead of the cannons. However, White Base is free to shoot.

Urgh...traffic...and getting shot.

[IGdood]

It's kinda funny how nice battles look when you zoom in close, but when you zoom out it looks like toy ships and smoke.

A single volley from leveled up Indefatigable gunners sets a ship on fire. No rockets required.

Both sides blazin' man.

Persuasion beats on a tiny ship for shits and giggles.

This battle is actually really slow, with the area clogged with surrendered ships and sinking ships and whatnot.

Eventually, the Polish fleet is worn down enough.

The last fightworthy ship goes down in flames from all the cannon balls slamming into the hull. Then I noticed on the map that there's one ship remaining. Far away. Damn it's gonna be a long trip.

This fucker here. Demasted sloop, the lowest of the low. Since sailing to it would be against the wind, I had White Base do the honors.

Look at all those holes in Intimidation. Hahahaha.

To Davy Jones with you.

Well we won, we got prize money by selling off the surrendered vessels. And it's the land combat time.

Well we're up against lots of cavalry, so all I expect is to form squares and win.

Household Cavalry. Maybe I should claim them for myself.

They've deployed Howitzers....so I'm gonna run across the battlefield to avoid their cone of fire.

All they have is provincial cavalry, basically militia on horseback. Easy to fend off, really.

FORWARD.

So as I advance all the Polish do is gallop and frolic around like they're high or something. What do?

Well, we shoot them,t hat's what. This continued until most of them were dead, then they decide to charge me. AI stupidity indeed, but it's a great break from the previous battles where I was fighting for life and limb.

What's better than a square? 2 squares. Did you expect another answer? 3 squares? Ha....

And I let the household cavalry screw around with the provincials....it's great fun, people die, and...well...the households got charged in the rear by provincials but none of them died. They only died to quicklime, and even then it wasn't much.

Either that quicklime was faulty or household cavalry are badass enough to stand up to it. I'm betting on the former...for realism's sake. It killed quite a lot of provincials though.

So most of the cavalry got cleared out...now it's time to kill the artillery and some militia.

Do you like those yellow stripes? I do.

-Obligatory montage of showing off elite unit-

You're NEXT.

[Acacia Sgt]

Oh wow, now it's on! Battling in various fronts... hehe, this shall become even more interesting.

[Parrhesia]

I think you should claim the Households as your own. I also agree the Invasion Force needs names. Have some suggestions.

FUSILIERS -- 12th West Malta Blackguards

GRENADIERS -- 16th Maltese 'Splosion Lads

ORDER CAVALRY -- 15th Bladed Horse Guard

MERCS -- Kingsley's Queens

GENERIC LINE INFANTRY -- 82nd Napoli Reject Foot

Survival matters not. It's just nice to add some colour to the place~

(I feel like a total narcissist) and yeah, this is only acting under the assumption no other names will be given for these poor, ignored souls.

[IGdood]

Oh wow, now it's on! Battling in various fronts... hehe, this shall become even more interesting.

It got even more interesting today.

I think you should claim the Households as your own. I also agree the Invasion Force needs names. Have some suggestions.

FUSILIERS -- 12th West Malta Blackguards

GRENADIERS -- 16th Maltese 'Splosion Lads

ORDER CAVALRY -- 15th Bladed Horse Guard

MERCS -- Kingsley's Queens

GENERIC LINE INFANTRY -- 82nd Napoli Reject Foot

Survival matters not. It's just nice to add some colour to the place~

(I feel like a total narcissist) and yeah, this is only acting under the assumption no other names will be given for these poor, ignored souls.

Do you want me to name all of these particular units or just one in each force, and do you want me to keep records of them? It's cool to see these Redshirts ascend to Mauve Shirt status, heheheheh.

By my warped mind after visiting the craphole of the internet known as 4chan, I dub thee Household Cavalry as the anon/b/ Knights. May they troll with their sabers and NEVAR FORGET.....okay whatever they're a Lethal Joke Unit....sorta....

Looks like things are going to get a bit hairy.

I tried calling all of my allies to side with me. None of them did, so i reloaded my save.

The first thing they do is siege assault Gibraltar.

They're packing on the artillery also. it's very unpleasant.

Get off the walls, it's gonna crumble!

One thing I took note of is that the artillery stopped firing as soon as my men were off the walls. They then proceeded to bomb the courtyard.

Those artillery batteries look unguarded....let's send the dragoons over.

Riflemen spring out of hiding as my dragoons approach. I have no choice but to order a retreat.

Quicklime forces troops off the walls. I bet the Dutch will take the empty walls.

Poor Armed Citizenry. They didn't make it in time.

Shit gets real.

Light infantry on the wooden bridge? Kill them!

On the walls that were being bombed, enemy riflemen got on, and proceeded to shoot my infantry. Dammit, I should've just stationed the troops on the stairs so they don't need to take their sweet time charging.

Wave 1 defeated. Bring on the next one!

I let the Dutch take the gate. I have killing zones set up so their cavalry will be shot on entry. Bring on wave 2!

Welcome to the Order!~ We like guns and games!

Wave 2 defeated.

I spot two artillery units in the corner of the map, and the dragoons are in hiding. Some Dutch infantry were running to the fort, so hiding is good.

Dragoons take out one of the crew, no problem. But since their melee abilities suck, it took quite awhile.

Then hussars show up. And they fuck up my dragoons. Like, major pwnage.

On the other hand, I had my African infantry out in the open, maybe they can take out the enemy artillery while my other infantry stay in the fort as defense. Well, they manage to fight off hussars and kill 2 enemy generals.

Reinforcements stream in as quickly as their cavalry rout. I wish the battle would end already.

All soldiers to the wall, kill all enemies!

Let's see them take on ALL OF US.

I have the African Line Infantry go after the cannons, while the Amazons distract the enemy Dutch soldiers. They're hopelessly outclassed, but their sacrifice will ensure that the artillery will be silenced.

Draw them away....

The last artillery regiment evades death as Horse Grenadier Guards save their lucky asses.

I would've withdrawn the Amazons if I could, but the option was not available and they are subsequently shot to death, but not before taking out another group of horse grenadiers.

Go knights, wipe out the remaining attackers!

Now it's time to sally forth and finish them all off!

Win.

The poorly trained garrison of Bulgaria sallies forth. Time for another slaughterfest.

Dual line, along with dual emplacements.

Once again, they refuse to budge. So I send two line infantry units to provoke them.

Die!

They get moving. I'm ready to grind them into paste.

Blam blam, short battle, we destroy them and win.

[IGdood]

The Inuit Nations fall without a battle.

Bulgaria belongs to us now after that long siege.

This battle will occur next. The Dutch have multiple navies filled to the brim with elite soldiers. It's going to get ugly. The only reason why this current army has reduced numbers is because they just finished fighting off another naval invasion. Anyways, this is gonna be tough.

[Parrhesia]

Name those Mauve Shirts wherever works, although I had the force attacking Italy in mind. Treat them like normal, though. They might add a little colour to proceedings, is all.

[IGdood]

Name those Mauve Shirts wherever works, although I had the force attacking Italy in mind. Treat them like normal, though. They might add a little colour to proceedings, is all.

Gotcha =)

So last time, the Dutch were assaulting one of our Italian provinces....

Since my troop numbers are few, I think I'll just defend the courtyard. Plus, I haven't tried this tactic before, so let's do that.

If a certain Scot named MacMillan, McTavish, or Sean Connery is in that lot I might as well Alt+F4.

Hm,t hey should've waited until all of their infantry were done climbing the walls before running down to meet me. Now they'll just get shot one by one.

Firing squads, OPEN FIRE!

What must be done must be done. I hold off a superior force with a smaller group of sacrificial line infantry. This gives the rest of my men to shoot at the enemy. Otherwise, it'd be one big meleefest with massive casualties on both ends because whole units can't fire if even one of their men are somehow engaged into melee with an enemy unit.

Reinforcements arrive, but from what I can gather so far they're not needed.

These Order Cavalry may rise to be named to something instead of just "Regiment of Horse"....-hint hint-

Funny, I didn't recall fighting the Scots in this battle. Maybe they got owned very quickly. I was focused on shifting formations around fighting the Holland Guards and all...

This is going pretty damn quick, don't you think?

Now we just need to sally forth and take out the artillery, pikemen, and cavalry.

ARGH THE QUICKLIME IT BUUUUUURNS

Stupid cavalry, always getting in the way.

Anyone ever read "Charge of the Light Brigade"?

Enemy general's bodyguard attacking...there are two for some reason....

Send 'em scurrying!

Owned.

I travel to the last province of Gran COlumbia and....surprise surprise, the British are at war with them. Now I hope they don't nab the province before I do.

What's the general region of Spain and France called anyways? Western Europe? The Castilian area? The Moorish area? Whatever the case, it's time to give the Dutch a sound thrashing.

Holy fucks. I bet I'll win via the time limit. Looking at the troops, they seem to be mostly militia and conscripts. I'll leave this battle for another time....this is....insane.

[Parrhesia]

...How many Line Infantrymen have died to make this screenshot LP, 'tarii?

THEIR BLOOD IS ON YOUR HANDS

AND THE HANDS OF AN UNINVENTIVE AI

[IGdood]

...How many Line Infantrymen have died to make this screenshot LP, 'tarii?

THEIR BLOOD IS ON YOUR HANDS

AND THE HANDS OF AN UNINVENTIVE AI

Let's see....Empire was released 3/2009. By 10/2009, the game said I had slaughtered 100,000 enemy soldiers, in 7 months. I left the game alone for almost a year until I started this LP thread. So this LP thread started 9/2010. It's now 7/2011, at 10 months. I'll say I've killed about 135000 enemy soldiers. My average kill ratio seems to be 1:3? So....I've lost probably about 45000 soldiers since this LP started. So....I'll say 80% of my armies are just made of generic line infantry....so about 36000 of player-controlled line infantry have died throughout the whole LP. Fuck.

So last time, we were under assault from a huge fucking Dutch army. Let's show them how the Knights of St. John fight.

I deployed all my infantry onthe walls...save for this unit, which for some reason is outside the fort for whatever reason.

The poor guys are quickly overwhelmed.

But they tire out the Dutch enough so that they were easily pushed back from the walls.

Now where did you....ah whatever.

No beautiful uniform can save you from the Order's pointy sticks!

Reinforcements arrive!

Before being forced into a square formation....noticed I've taken down one general already.

That's gonna hurt in the morning.

Annnnd the wave militia comes!

They are no match for our professional soldiers!

And quicklime.

These are conscripts. Conscripts exist to get pwnt. Usually.

Now how the fuck did you guys get defeated by Dutch conscripts? What!?

The fusilier reinforcements on the ground are being charged by militia. Fusiliers kinda suck in close combat, so this'll be a close call.

Damn officer ducked.

That group of militia was driven back, and the fusiliers get in position to fire.

Unload!

Now how did YOU get in my fort?! Those cavalry were taken care of, but not before screwing over my howitzer team.

Moar conscripts incoming!

Eventually the Dutch batteries knock a hole in my walls. Time to defend the courtyard!

They were literally entering from a literal hole in the wall. What.

Units of line infantry that were greatly reduced in size are now routing for some reason.

We've sprung a big leak of blue droplets, can someone plug the fucking drain?

Artillery crewman: Sir! I know just what ammo we can use to stop this leak!

FUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

One salvo was all that was needed to send them running.

Of course, can't forget our infantrymen.

Reminds me of a certain Fire Emblem animation...

Don't worry the poor infantryman didn't die.

Order grenadiers keep a close watch for intruders.

Hmm, the conscripts are all gone. Now the elites show up.

While I wait for people to charge into the fort, I take a screenie of the carnage. I've no idea why that guy is still standing, the game registered him as "dead".

I suddenly find out that the fusiliers can actually utilize Light Infantry Behavior. However, they know fire by rank, so they perform it whilst in light infantry behavior, which is kinda funny. However, it makes them useless to be used as light infantry since only the first 3 rows can fire....despite being in light infantry mode. Plus, they only have 70 range anyways.

Still, having them backed up by line infantry makes them pretty damn dangerous.

For some reason, these guys decided to rout suddenly.

I win, due to the time limit. I bet the Dutch are in shock. Well they're ripe for the taking.

What the fuck, you too Russia? Well, they seem to be preoccupied with their war with Sweden. I'm not too worried about Russia.

We move ahead and siege Savoy.

Spain is ours, and it was undefended.

Less income...raise taxes....

[IGdood]

Looks like Spain has a Modern University, the highest tier. Now I can research the last techs.

Damn, the British get to kill off Gran Columbia and take their last colony.

Percussion Shells GET.

Let's boot the Dutch out of the Americas. Recall that I used to own the Windward Islands.

Portugal now belongs to us. It too, was practically undefended.

I forgot if I advertised this unit before. Anyways, who wants?

Savoy is ours!

[IGdood]

With the Italian provinces somewhat secure, this new army can move on to Paris.

I've no idea if they'll succeed, as I didn't explore the area around France before attacking.

Some naming is done, according to Furet.

Now the ships can be even speedier now.

Windward Islands belong to us now.

So does Newfoundland.

Now it's time for our army of named badass regiments to sail home.

Ze army in France is attacked, we go to do our work.

Immediately enemy reinforcements stream in from...well...the side.

I send infantry over to intercept them, but it goes sour. I should've sent more, but I only sent two because I'm stupid. Oh well, they died gloriously. Sorta.

I mean, it looked pretty good, both units seem to be able to handle the stream of reinforcements coming in...sorta.

But I guess they just got overwhelmed.

Even though I had killed off 2 generals by this point.

Originally I had planned withdraw the intercepting infantry, but they got tied down by cavalry, and then the Dutch infantry just ran over them with sheer force.

Anyway, so, 3 units destroyed/routed in exchange for 2 enemy generals killed. That's a pretty good tradeoff right there.

The Dutch, thinking they can keep up the momentum of chain routing, charge my lines. My line holds.

Especially when they climb the trenches. As they are elevated it makes them a clear target for the boys in back.

Still, even with all my defenses, some of my infantry run..

As the left line is crumbling fast if I don't do anything, I rush my engineer reserves over. Their melee capabilities should be good enough to push the enemy back!

CHAAAAARRRRGE

How many troop types can you count in this picture? I counted 5.

The Dutch are pushed back somewhat.

Until new reinforcements just rushed in. This is gonna be ugly.

Engineer vs engineer. How do you tell who's who? Look at the shoulder strap. Dark red belongs to the Order, blue belongs to the Dutch.

Mofo artillery, CHARGE

As of now I just ordered an all out charge against everyone who's still standing.

RUN AWAY YOU SISSIES, RUN FOR THE AXEMAN COMETH

Well these guys weren't running.

The slugfest enters the woods.

Soldiers from both sides begin to flee, exhausted, scared, and probably freezing to death.

Especially with that artillery pointed at them.

And so we win...by a little bit.

France is ours, fuck the Dutch.

Our main army has arrived into european waters......next stop....Amsterdam.

[Acacia Sgt]

Haha, now the Dutch will be the next ones to fall. Oh hey, Marines huh? Haven't named anything in a quite a while, so might as well, let there be the 'Cancer Regiment'.

[Parrhesia]

Gotta hand it to the Dutch, that is a MIGHTY fine shade of blue.

[IGdood]

Haha, now the Dutch will be the next ones to fall. Oh hey, Marines huh? Haven't named anything in a quite a while, so might as well, let there be the 'Cancer Regiment'.

So THEY are the cancer that is killing the Knights. The Anon Knights must purge! Jk jk.

Gotta hand it to the Dutch, that is a MIGHTY fine shade of blue.

I wonder which our named regiments can support with each other, if such an option was available. In the Prussian playthrough we joked that the Marines and Swiss Guard had a support....affinities too.

Anyways.... on with the update.

Danilowicz is getting old, but he's a badass grandpa with all those stars and traits. Too bad the Polish have run out of ships, it seems. Or I'm just not looking hard enough.

Oh right, I forgot to take a pic, but the Polish called for a ceasefire. They even offered me a trade agreement. I accept. I mean, yeah they're my mortal enemies, but a little extra gold on the side is alright.

The Cancer Regiment. They make my blue ANGRY MARINES very ANGRY. I mean, they have 40 more men and about equivalent shooting stats. Still, I prefer my ORDER MARINES because they wear BLUE.

And so we make our way to Amsterdam, home of Dutch electronic dance music. I like Afrojack, by the way.

And I lose Montaignais to rebel Inuits. I will take it back.

The Cancer Regiment's army will take Brussels, Flanders.

Right, let's throw tactics out the window again and CHARGE. Everyone with me? Okay.

MARCH.

Light infantry provide covering fire.

We can see that the Dutch garrison has pulled away from the walls to avoid the longer-ranged skirmishers shooting at them.

Smells like.....victory.

Siege assaults are always jovial ventures.

Out of my way. *stabbity stab stab*

Yes I lost my general earlier.

In the Order of St. John, CANCER FIGHT YOOOOOOOU

My overwhelming numbers quickly reach the floor, and it will be wiped with Dutch.

Enemy elites try to fend off my grenadiers.

CONSCRIPTS. I HATE CONSCRIPTS.

Can anyone spot the leader of Cancer?

It's the enemy general! In the thick of it all!

Still stuck on a bridge.

Flanders flies the Order's flag now.

Hmm....

The battle for Amsterdam begins.

Well, we start off with a volley of rockets flying at our faces.

And so the Guttersnipers proceed to pick off those on the walls. We'll wait for our cannons to blow holes in the walls.

The American mercenaries will take out that rocket battery.

All infantry, ,move up and prepare to breach.

The wall falls. GO.

Facebiters unload some shotgun bursts, then retreat.

Line Infantry, move up!

Mercs moving up on the other side of the fort.

After a long melee, I withdraw the line infantry. Facebiters move up to deliver their payload, and retreat once more.

Meanwhile, the Avon Gate Foot have scaled the walls with the militia to beat up on some grenadiers.

Kill off those rockets!

I spot yet another rocket battery. Moving up the cavalry.

They charged, and then we won.

The flag of the United Provinces has been toppled in Amsterdam.

Expect 2-3 rebellions before this place stabilizes.

These videos are just supplementary to the LP. Video 1 is of the battle for Flanders. Video 2 is of the battle for Amsterdam. Unlike the videos in Shogun 2, these just show the moments I thought were pretty cool.

[IGdood]

Does anyone know how to put 2 youtube videos in one thread?

[Acacia Sgt]

So THEY are the cancer that is killing the Knights. The Anon Knights must purge! Jk jk.

Oh ha ha, but even then I wouldn't have called them Pisces or something... XD

And hey, already in action fighting and winning at Brussels, nice. And with Amsterdam down the Dutch are no more. One more down in the count...

[IGdood]

Oh ha ha, but even then I wouldn't have called them Pisces or something... XD

And hey, already in action fighting and winning at Brussels, nice. And with Amsterdam down the Dutch are no more. One more down in the count...

Not quite...the Dutch still have 3 provinces left. They just happened to lose their capital.

I take Montagnais back.

Milan, Lombardy, falls to me through prolonged siege.

These guys sallied forth. Guess they didn't want to go down without a fight....like their Lombardy brethren.

Looks like they're closer than I anticipated. Time to leave the trenches and get them!

That quicklime is also another good reason to charge.

Damn cavalry...

Blast 'em!

Momentum is overwhelming as volleys of musket fire smash into the Dutch troops. The carabineers don't ease their situation also.

Obligatory shot of a named unit in action.

Suddenly my grenadiers rout. Why? Light infantry sniped them, that's why.

Dragoons go after my hussars. Bad choice, as seen several posts back.

Regroup, get your bayonets, CHARGE

Shooting the last few soldiers at point blank range.

And stabbing the last few cavalrymen.

It was a pretty quick battle.

Ah, Abolition of Slavery, the most useful tech to an Absolute Monarch government. it gives +4 happiness to the Lower Classes, which is good because every other Enlightenment tech researched gives -1 happiness to the lower classes. Now I can disband unneeded garrison troops....and that means I won't have to pay them anymore.

NOW Acacia Sgt's words ring true. The Dutch are gone.

Also, somebody figured out a way to put more than 20 units in an army. This led to the possibility of insanely massive battles (80 units in an army, for both sides....at once...holy fucks!)

Should I do it? I'm not sure how well I'll be able to control more than 20 units on the field, but should I try?

http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=455494

So, the Dutch are gone. What's the next move, my fellow Knights?

1. Go after Poland, steamroll her vassal states (Wurtemberg, Courland, etc.), continue east and crush Russia.

2. Ignore Poland for the time being, crush Great Britain.

3. Ignore Poland for the time being, get out there and crush the Mughal Empire.

4. Ignore Poland, go after Russia since she's weak.

5. Let's be random and go after Sweden, who is weak and isn't my trade partner.

6. Crush Georgia and Persia (I actually ceasefired + allied with them)

I'm not sure what choices 2 and 3 will result in, since Great Britain and the Mughals are my major trade partners. Declaring war on them will most likely reverse my massive income into a deficit.

[IGdood]

While I await a reply I'll replenish my troops, repair my facilities, and save money.