Let's Play: Empire Total War! - Knights of St. John run

[IGdood]

Double Post due to image limit.

Today's gonna be a live-fire training exercise for the Profiteers.

Just...LOOK AT THOSE FUCKING SEXY CLOAKS.

And we'll move all.....sneaky-like.

And the Austrian rebels have Pandours of their own. Well fuck that, send in the Whores!

And a complementary I-charge-your-face screenie.

That 90 range is very helpful, until 125 range riflemen enter the game. Still, light infantry aren't meant to be used like line infantry. Watch while my other units are getting into position, the Profiteers will be here to provide covering fire.

JUST LOOK AT THOSE FUCKING CLOAKS. IT'S GIVING ME A HARD ON GODAMMIT. (I'm a sucker for pretty uniforms, this is why I actually like Empire Total War.)

Unfortunately the Profiteers only manage to down 8 guys in their first volley. Something to add here; light infantry don't fire in volleys. Instead, they sorta spread out and start shooting nonstop. Over time through all the misfires and aiming time, it'll turn into what I call a shooting mob instead of a disciplined, wait-for-my-order infantry unit. The result is a constant morale wear down from being under fire, although it lacks the morale shock of being hit by 3-volleys from a fire-by-rank.

Whoa, it's the first training exercise and --I didn't expect this-- and there's a FUCKING PANDOUR DUEL. Well more like the Profiteers taking potshots at the other Pandours...but still....

Once again, the Profiteers provide covering fire while everyone else marches forward.

While the main battle line's having a shootout, the Profiteers have been positioned on top of a little elevation to act as snipers. They're actually shooting a demicannon crew in front. I just hope they won't load up a canister shell.

Except they did. Immediately I order the Profiteers to withdraw, since it's time for the main battle line to give hell.

And so they're surrounded, and beaten.

I really hate letting the enemy rout off the map, only to have them come back at me in 3-4 turns. So, I send the whores to wipe out the exhausted routers.

A minor battle, nothing serious. Profiteers took no casualties. They didn't kill much either, but then they were only shooting for 4 minutes at the most.

Thanks Poland, now let's keep the peace going, shall we?

[Parrhesia]

Go Profiteers! Here's to hoping Friedrich the Tepid dies nice and early.

[Integrity]

Tiiiiiiiiiiiight. Fucking love those guys until Riflemen show up.

DEM CLOAKS

SOON as this Maratha game is over I'm making an Austria game.

Edited September 5, 2010 by Integrity

[IGdood]

Their stats could be better though...

I usually use the native american auxiliary for the bows though.

[Integrity]

Pfeh. Bows.

My personal favorites are Russian Riflemen. Dunno why.

Second's Pandours, though.

[IGdood]

Heheh. I wonder, is it just me or do few people want to get their regiments named?

[Parrhesia]

75th Chuck's Roundhouse Boys.

Reading eagerly~

[Integrity]

I got my regiment named. :P

[IGdood]

To Do List

1. Kick Russia's ass, or at least attempt to make peace.

2a. If Russia's ass is kicked, proceed to move on into India or Africa to recruit some very very unique troops for people to name.

2b. Sit tight, end many turns, keep researching the military tech and upgrade buildings.

3. Name the Swiss Guards regiment "Sir Samuel Vimes' First of Foot."

4. Replace the unit of Pikemen in the current "conquering" army with Swiss pikemen, and proceed to name them "Anna's Prinnies." (Friend lurks here, but doesn't subscribe)

5. Research rockets, train a rocket troop, and name them "Team Rocket."

6. Level up the Profiteers and the Whores.

[Integrity]

Rocket troops blow. Seriously.

[IGdood]

It's great against the AI, who won't make a move if you're attacking. Just keep sending rockets (unlimited ammo?) until they're dead....yeah.

[Integrity]

Except that Mortars start off better than Rockets and come earlier and eventually get Percussive Shells which >>>>>>>>> E:TW.

[Fayt Zelpher]

I've been following this topic for awhile, and I must say that it sounds like quite the interesting game. I look forward to future updates.

Also, if/when you get some Special Ops / Marines, could you name them the Crimson Blade?

[Parrhesia]

Also, if/when you get some Special Ops / Marines, could you name them the Crimson Blade?

...you get Marines in this game?

Isn't this the era in which Marines were actually maritime?

[IGdood]

I've been following this topic for awhile, and I must say that it sounds like quite the interesting game. I look forward to future updates.

Also, if/when you get some Special Ops / Marines, could you name them the Crimson Blade?

Sure. Thanks for following, get more people to follow. =)

One thing though. Marines are a late game unit, it might take me some time to get those guys out on the field.

...you get Marines in this game?

Isn't this the era in which Marines were actually maritime?

True, but I'm using SwissHalberdier's AUMod, so it adds a lot of variety to Empire Total War, such as Marines on land. They're elite infantry, kinda like the Guards.

Edited September 7, 2010 by skitarii

[IGdood]

IT'S QUICK UPDATE TIME! You guys might love it. Might.

By my royal decree these Swiss Guards (Guards are elite infantry, excellent stats all around, expensive to maintain, and provide a morale bonus to nearby units.) are henceforth named Sir Samuel Vimes' First of Foot. May they shoot every fucker who stands in their way to death, and not be overwhelmed by the enemy.

By royal decree, let it be known that these Swiss Pikemen (the portrait's wrong, they hold pikes in-game) are henceforth named Anna's Prinnies. She lurks on this forum and will guide them to victory or death. Mostly death, seeing as how they're outclassed in weaponry and armor does jack shit against guns. They do come in groups of 200 and will grind cavalry into horse sashimi. They're also resistant to cold fatigue (good), have good stamina (I can make them run), and have a garrison policing bonus. So far, that's the most useful ability. It means these guys provide a public order bonus in a settlement, preventing rebellions and riots.

There were a few Austrian rebel remnants which I failed to crush earlier. Here's a training exercise for some of our named regiments. Here the Swiss Guard march forward proudly. Note that while they're technically mercenaries, they wave the Prussian flag.

Here are Anna's Prinnies, decked out in armor and holding their pikes up high.

I use the Profiteers' range to soften up approaching units, but their accuracy could use some help. They're still an important part of my army.

The First of Foot catch a few charging horsemen with musket balls. Yup.

And the Profiteers chase after a few routers. Yeah the pics are far in-between. Still, you gotta love that one guy holding up that sword.

Poland-Lithuania offers me a trade agreement. Nice.

A second rebellion appears in Vienna. Time to sweep those rabble aside. Jeez, everyone's leveling up.

Except, a few surprises happen. Those puffs of smoke on those cavalry are a result of them charging and shooting from carbines at my line infantry. Pretty nasty.

My attempt to skirmish with the Profiteers fails as I order them to retreat a bit too late. The line infantry in the rear have already opened fire, causing a few friendly fire casualties. True, I could've told them to hold fire, but it's troublesome.

Exactly what the fuck is this rebel artillery crew doing? I know the crewmen have sabers, but.....what?

CHAAAARGE! Gotta admire the graphics on this game.

And by sweeping this rabble from the field I meant it quite literally.

I send in the Whores to clean up this mess. Just....what the hell is that clump of shit?

Except...I think it's a game mechanic but there's a chance that cavalry will suffer 1-5 losses when charging. Here, the Whores decide to charge the routers, and while routers have no power to fight back the Whores still lose 3 guys. Bull.

It's a clear victory. Here's some numbers.

Venice? What the hell are you thinking? You've only got one province and you want to pwn me?

And somehow they're maintaining a full-stack (basically a 20-unit army) and a full navy. How? They're only one province!

I was going to send my conquering army to Russia, but with a sudden sidequest like this, I think I have to blow Venice up. While en route to their capital, I suddenly get this. It's almost going to be a full-stack battle on both sides, and this is when the grand battles of total war start to shine.

Visibility's pretty bad, and the terrain isn't helping much either. I decide to deploy starting from an elevated corner. I placed my cannon and all elite troops on the corner, and from there I dragged my line infantry out.

I was wondering if the Ai was trying to goad me by personally sending their general out in the open. I decide to check it out with the Profiteers, but I never strayed too far from the main battle line.

I don't take the bait, so they send their cavalry straight on at the Profiteers. I'm close enough to the main line, so I let the hooded gunmen open fire.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the map, an advance Venetian force collides with the battle line. It doesn't do much, and they're quickly routed.

It's hard to manage a big battle like this, especially when the enemy's battle line is just as big as yours. They put all their elite troops (guards, marines) on the side of my elite troops in an attempt to match leetness for leetness. For some reason the Profiteers opened fire too late despite the 90 range, and they receive a faceful of shot from Venetian Garrison Guards, losing 9 men. I was surprised they didn't lose 30 right off the bat. Of course, I order the Pandours to retreat.

I noticed that some of the Venetians were trying to gun down my cannons, which I had set to fire Canister Shot (short-ranged, huge shotgun blasts). I charge the Swiss pikes...err...Swiss Prinnies forward at the bulk of the enemy offense (I counted 300 elites, 200 regular infantry) in an attempt to pin them there. It's a race against time now. I've got to flank them, but the First of Foot are preoccupied and the Profiteers are kinda far away. I don't want to commit the Whores to a charge yet since there's only 60 Whores and the enemy's morale is still high above the clouds.

What luck! The enemy offense quickly stalls as all their units rush the pikes. I then attempted to wheel the First of Foot around so they could have a clear shot at the enemies' rears.

Poor, poor pikemen. They lost half their number in 2 minutes of combat.

And the Profiteers dash past the First of Foot, although a few of them got caught in the melee.

You might not be able to see this clearly, but the white things that look like pins/tracers are actually part of the canister shot. Yup, I ordered the cannons to fire across the battle line to rake the Venetians in a shootout with my forces.

I didn't want to move the First of Foot anymore now that the Profiteers are in place. The light infantry are just more maneuverable due to better speed and smaller unit size. The Pikes are cut down to 3/4 of their number, but their morale did NOT drop a single bit. Seriously.

Is he trying to goad me again? Because the Profiteers are closer than ever.

The rest of the enemy are running away, but not these guys. I charge the Whores, casualties be damned.

And the First of Foot keep firing at those Garrison Guards who just wouldn't run away.

Aha! Finally got you, you pig-fucker!

He's running away, and out of the Profiteers' reach. Who better than to catch fleeing cavalry? Why, once more, you Whores, once more! While not pictured, they later do kill him.

THIS IS FOR OUR FELLOW SWISS COUNTRYMEN, YOU GARRISON GUARD SHIT-TARDS!

And victory! An impressive one, too.

Whew.

[Parrhesia]

Ahh, and the valiant men of Ankh-Morpork certainly served you well there.

Nice victory! Now just the sinking city itself.

[IGdood]

I'm guessing that's a Discworld reference?

Seriously, I'd rather sink that frickin city. I might just gift it to an ally or something after destroying all of its buildings.

I keep an Excel document of all the named regiments, so when the LP ends, everyone gets a copy.

[Parrhesia]

I'm guessing that's a Discworld reference?

Seriously, I'd rather sink that frickin city. I might just gift it to an ally or something after destroying all of its buildings.

I keep an Excel document of all the named regiments, so when the LP ends, everyone gets a copy.

A-yeah. Unfortunately, there are no other regiments (I think) to name regiments after. ...Scratch that, there's like five. But eh.

XD

Oooh, shiny.

[Parrhesia]

Hold on...Venice, Venice....

SHIT. OTHELLO'S GONNA GET YOU. And watch for spies, assassins, and plot hooks. ALWAYS guard your handkerchiefs.

Edited September 7, 2010 by Furetchen

[Integrity]

Just bring the Pandours into town. People will be too busy laughing or dying to steal your handkerchiefs.

[IGdood]

LOL! I will have no chance of winning if Ezio Auditore is in town. Shit!

Hmm....I guess bringing the Pandours into town just might work.

[IGdood]

Battle Disaster (for your named regiments) and Campaign Update.

So last time, we stopped with me crushing Venice's full stack. Now I'm going to burn Venice to the fucking ground for their declaration of war. It's time to assault.

These walls are a bit different from what I'm used to. I think they're called star forts. Whatever, I'll just ask the line infantry to climb and bayonet everyone on the walls.

I had the Sir Vimes' First of Foot go for the corner to my left of the fort.

Here we go.

Hey! Where did all those Venetians go?

While they march up to us, let's give some covering fire! Okay, First of Foot, shoot!

Charge! Down the battlements and onto the field! Wipe out those filthy Venetians!

Easy victory.

But wait! Their navy and army hasn't dissolved!? Does this mean they have some sort of secret province?!

Dammit, I don't have a navy, but I think they're too weak to do shit right now. Moving on to Russia!

Hey Spain my friend, you can have Venetia like a used car. I just burned it to the ground, but I'm sure you can take better care of this place.

New farming technology! Jeez, it seems like I'll never get on with the Navy tech tree.

One thing I haven't explained. At the beginning of the game, your provinces may have villages that require time to grow. As the villages evolve into towns, the towns can be converted into an Industrial, Entertainment, Scholastic, or Religious town. Industry gives money, Entertainment improves loyalty and happiness and occasionally spawns Rakes, who are spies and assassins, Scholastic allows more research opportunities, and Religious converts people to your state religion and occasionally spawns priests that can help with conversions.

Looks like the Marathas Confederacy destroyed these guys. Oh well.

Cavalry would like this. Diamond formation improves charge bonus, and is easy to turn around on the battlefield.

Looks like poland wasn't very happy with me after all. Oh well, time to focus on them instead of Russia.

Sweet, now bayonet-armed troops will have +5 charge bonus.

I move in Russia's direction, then swoop down to nab this Polish province. It looks like it's gonna be another siege assault...too bad in this game all cities look the same, which sucks.

Skipping straight to the assault, I let the First of Foot lead the others in the charge up the walls. They perform admirably.

Yup, bumrushing is always fun in this game.

I park the Profiteers nearby. They open fire, but they probably killed nobody.

The enemy cavalry run out to kill their favorite prey, light infantry. I retreat the Profiteers and send in the Swiss Pikes.

Initially they held off the cavalry pretty well....

Shit hits the fan for them as I charge them inside the fort, letting them be shot up by enemy skirmishers and charged from all sides by their cavalry. Not good.

I charge the Whores in, and they take heavy casualties from all the enemy cavalry running around with a charge bonus. I'm ready to smack myself in the head for this blunder, but I persevere. I could've ordered the line infantry from the walls to charge down, but for some reason I was so focused on watching the named regiments fight I didn't. I've boneheaded this one battle.

When i finally came to my sense I order them to charge.

I order the Profiteers on the walls for the heck of it, and they open fire, doing too much friendly fire to the Whores. Dammit.

I send in the Swiss Pikes to attack those pesky skirmishers, but for some reason they started dying disproportionately fast. Maybe they're fatigued, maybe I didn't look up the stats of those skirmishers.

I take the center.

It's a victory, with a somewhat good kill ratio. Unfortunately, with the amount of casualties suffered by the Whores and the Swiss Pikes, they'll be guaranteed a de-level after being reinforced to full numbers, I'm sorry guys, I've disappointed you.

Otto offers me an alliance.

Edited September 8, 2010 by skitarii

[Parrhesia]

It's not like the Whores -need- more power :P Nice job placating the 'terrifying' power of Spain.

Would you mind naming a squad of Line Infantry '68th Bohemian Bitchslappers'? Don't worry about saving them or anything, I mean...Line Infantry is Line Infantry. And the whores need company.

Edited September 8, 2010 by Furetchen

[IGdood]

I'll name them later, when I get the Company Line (found in India, basically regular line with funny WW1 Tommy hats).