Let's Play: Empire Total War! - Knights of St. John run

[Parrhesia]

I'll name them later, when I get the Company Line (found in India, basically regular line with funny WW1 Tommy hats).

Oooh, sexy.

Incidentally this entire thread makes me want to buy Empire TW. Creative Assembly should be paying you for this.

[Integrity]

I always think Otto is of the Von Bismarck variety when you say it, not the Turks.

[IGdood]

Furetchen: Thanks. =)

Integrity: Yeah, I tend to refer to a nation as an individual, if only because I feel like I'm a representative of Prussia.

I always say I'll take a week's break before playing this game, but for some reason I'm spurred on to play everyday.

[IGdood]

Yet another update! XD Anyone suffering war fatigue? HA! I bet the line infantry are, poor sods.

I can shoot napalm now, except I don't have the specific units! LOL!

Sweet! This tepid Friedrich is finally dead!

3rd one's a charm. I couldn't have asked for a better monarch.

Oh yeah, I'm besieging Hungary right now. Sometimes, if you don't feel like committing your troops to a direct assault, you can besiege the settlement. The garrison there will slowly take losses, and usually will be forced to surrender in about 5 turns or so. If the enemy doesn't sally out to fight you, you can technically take settlements without losing any casualties. It's just really time-consuming and ties up your army.

Trade agreement good. Trade agreement make money. I like.

There goes another minor nation.

I finally get to working on that naval tech tree to unlock the Marines.

I decide to switch out a 1-chevron 12-lb foot artillery for a 6-lb horse artillery. Less damage, same range, except horse artillery can actually fucking run on the battlefield. Yes, they can outrun infantry and heavy cavalry if the situation calls for it. They can also hide in forests. Although they can't blow a wall open if their life depended on it. I just need a shotgun capable of deploying along the enemy flanks.

For FE fans, every army can only have a maximum of 20 units. You can theoretically tail extra reinforcements with another army, but it's a bit troublesome and those reinforcements can only enter the battlefield if 1 of the 20 units in the main army are routed off.

Hungary's garrison decides to sally out with the aid of reinforcements. Let's see what they can do to us! WE ARE UNSTOPPABLE!

Since I'm besieging, this army hasn't been moving for some time. This grants me the ability to deploy defensive fortifications. The most useful one I've found is this: The trench. It's a simple slope of earth, but it blocks bullets and cannon shots like a force field. Militia hiding behind this baby can take out guard regiments....or maybe survive more than 3 minutes.

These fences/criss-crossed emplacements are called a Chevaux De Fries. I think I've explained this before, but any cavalry, friendly or enemy, will automatically die upon touching these things. Stats don't matter, they will just die automatically.

And now I wait for them to come.

Feeling a bit crafty, I send off the Profiteers and a unit of Landwehr Militia to accompany them into the forest for a little guerilla action.

Square in your face, Profiteers are the ace. OPEN FIRE!

Horse artillery have noticeable thinner tubes. They are not compensating.

Friendly fire is acceptable for the Profiteers. They know how to aim.

Anyone see the blood splatters?

The enemy finally gets to their senses and marches in a line at me.

That 90 range for the Profiteers really helps when it comes to getting the first shot off.

We're safe from here, says the line infantry.

Since the militia are taking losses from enemy reinforcements, I move the Whores over.

Suddenly, the line infantry don't feel so safe anymore. USE THE BLOODY BAYONETS!

I charge the whores at some enemy line infantry to relieve the pressure on the remaining militia, resulting in a flank attack.

I wheel over some idle line infantry, as the reinforcements are getting here.

And retreat the Profiteers. Notice where the Whores are.

I make yet another mistake with the Whores. I was hoping these guys won't be turning to meet my charge. They're Garrison Guards.

The Whores immediately lose almost half of their number. I tell them to get out of there.

[IGdood]

Still, I win.

I notice that it's almost time up to fulfill my victory conditions. I don't think I want to do that....this is my LP and I'm not gonna go by the game.

i somehow manage to persuade Venice to sign a peace treaty.

Genoa immediately offers me an alliance. I guess they don't want to be curbstomped like Venice.

The Dutch are back! Well, if you are Dutch, you ain't much.

I go on ahead and siege that province next door whose name I did not check.

Except they sally out a few turns later. by the way, are you enjoying the view as much as I do? Look...so cloudy...

I wait 10 minutes for them to sally out. I noticed that they weren't moving. So I guess it's time for me to make my move. I'm not an aggressive person, I tend to go for the cautious approach. So, I move some line infantry up while the rest sit back and wait.

I redeploy the horse artillery in the forest. I never knew that they could fire artillery and stay HIDDEN in the forest. That means they cannot be targeted....LOL I order them to attack the walls, maybe I can blow a hole.

Except each shot does only 2% damage. No use, I'll have to scale the walls.

They rush their horsies out, so I gun them down. Stupid move, AI.

Sometimes, it's really great to have line infantry take turns firing at some enemy. It's like a neverending barrage, and ....well...don't underestimate your generics!

And here comes the rest of their army....trying to flank my 3 line infantry units? yeah right, you're gonna have to answer to the rest waiting in the back. We Have Reserves.

I always feel sorry for the Prinnies...they seem to take heavy casualties no matter what I do. Oh well, I send them forward to get some experience. In total war, it doesn't matter what level the enemy is and what level their unit type is. Your units get experience per kill, whether they be militia, guard, cavalry, etc. This is why it's fun to grind down militia and armed citizenry. You take minimal losses and get maximum kills.

I win.

woohoo, I found corporations!

I ask the Dutch for a trade agreement. My goal here is not war, I'm just here to kick Russia and Poland, then I'll be aiming overseas.

That includes you too, you pirates.

Sometimes, when there's a tech you really want, give away your useless techs. I never give away Fire By Rank or Bayonets, but you can have the intellectual techs. Here I can save a lot of time and get good tech fast. It also helps if you're allied with the nation you want to get the tech from.

Edited September 9, 2010 by skitarii

[IGdood]

Here we go, another update!!

And we've finally reached the other ultimate weapon in ETW, the Light Infantry Doctrine! With this researched, light infantry will kneel in combat instead of standing, thus decreasing the chances of getting shot to death. It spreads them out and lowers their defense to a melee, however.

I go ahead and besiege Belarus and Volhynia.

By the way, the previous general passed on from old age, so I recruit a new one from the Whores. I get an old fart, and that's not good.

I recruit this unique unit, the Bosniaks. No, you may not name them. They're mine. They are lancer cavalry, which means they'll get pwned if they don't get to charge.

This province's garrison decides to sally, I wonder how this particular battle will turn out? They've got an ungodly amount of Siemonovsky Grenadier Guards....so.... Grenadier + Guard. That's like....double elite. Holy shit.

Deployment wasn't special, so I didn't take pics. Here's the first shot fired, by yours truly, the First of Foot.

Profiteers in Light Infantry Mode. They're kneeling.

While everyone else is occupied, I send the Swiss Prinnies off in a heroic charge to intercept flankers. Of course, they get shot.

And because I usually forget to press Pause, I forgot to retreat the Profiteers. Instead, they're greeted by a cavalry charge which immediately wipes out 17 of them.

I'm used to commanding from high up. Unfortunately the crap weather and forests get in the way.

Their cavalry presses onto the Horse Artillery, whom I order to withdraw. Before they got out of the danger zone, I tell the profiteers to open fire. I'm insane, but what the hell.

I guess even guard grenadiers are no match for experienced line infantry behind trenches. Wheee!

Except they do what they do best: Negate the trench and charge my line infantry. Did I also tell you that Russian units have better charge bonuses compared to the units from other nations?

So, I wheel my closest forces, the Landwehr Militia, around to fire into the rear of that melee. Yeeaaaaaah!

Musket butts will work on anything. GO LINE INFANTRY!

On the other hand, even with trenches the First of Foot are getting decimated by all that enemy fire from 2 units of the Grenadier Guards. So, I charge the Siemenovskis.

I note a unit of Russian lancers running around, so I send the Whores to intercept them.

Yippi Kai Yay Motherfucker! Wait....why are the Whores taking losses?! Did the lancers manage to get a one-foot charge bonus? Fuck if I know, but the Whores get an approximate kill ratio of 2:1. 1 die for every lancer killed. Bullshit.

Although the Whores still do a wonderful job running down artillery crews.

And victory is ours, but the city isn't yet. Their sally wasn't successful, but that doesn't mean I automatically own the city.

This is going to be a mop up operation. Short and sweet.

Here's a better view of the Light Infantry Doctrine. Kneel and fire!

Holy SHIT -BLAM! The dead, flying horse corpses actually knocked down 20 line infantry, and killed 6.

Told you it was going to be short.

COCYTUS, YOUR CRIMSON BLADE IS READY! MARINES RECRUITED! (I'll remove the S later, sorry for the mispelling)

By my royal decree, may these seamen marines be known as the Crimson Blade, and allow them to carve a swathe in their enemies. The bloodier it gets, the better.

Ha, finally wrested this province back. Remember I lost it at the beginning of this LP?

Ha, thanks Austria.

I switch out a few line infantry and militia for a unit of heavy cavalry and a few elites, including the Crimson Blade Marines. I don't plan on naming the others, there's better units I've yet to unlock.

Kiev is my next target. Let's go.

Some random techs finished researching. I'm trying to improve my economy and my naval tech. Faster ships are good if I want to go conquer India.

And Kiev is under siege.

EXCUSE ME? Oh right, I didn't conquer a few provinces by the year 1750. Oh well, whatever, I don't care.

Edited September 9, 2010 by skitarii

[IGdood]

The poorly-armed garrison decides to sally. It's gonna be quick. They're outnumbered....etc.

Nice weather and terrain today. Let's deploy.

And the Crimson Blade stands ready for battle. Say hi to Cocytus. Note that the officer wears a forward-facing bicorne (hat) instead of the side-ways bicorne. It's used by Navy personnel. They're marines after all. Hoo-rah?

I'm not sure if this is the most hilarious glitch or bug, but my guys start shooting right when the battle begins. There's nobody in range, but they're shooting.

Even with Light Infantry Doctrine on I don't want the Profiteers to take heavy casualties, so I withdraw them.

Damn,t he cav steered clear of the Swiss Pikes.

I always fail to get my artillery out of harm's way. Oh well, GO WHORES!

I send the Bosniaks to experiment on some Armed Citizenry. They kill 40 in the initial charge. This is the point of lancer cavalry, to kill in the charge.

It's another win.

Oh yeah, I autoresolved the next mop up battle. Autoresolve is used when you don't feel like commanding the troops yourself. The computer crunches the numbers, albeit usually you'll receive far more casualties than you would if you got to personally command. Also, sometimes battles that are an easy win will be autoresolved as losses.

Just to spite Russia, I give Kiev to the Huron tribe across the Atlantic Ocean.

Have fun!

I've decided to keep the Bosniaks. I hereby name them the Rough Riders in honor of 40k's Steel Legion.

Ha, so Poland moved their capital here? Well I'm taking it in the name of Prussia!

And Kiev rebels against its new tribal owners. Now its owned by nobody.

Isai's garrison decides to sally, with some nearby Russian reinforcements. Right, you two are allies? Well you're both going to bleed out on the field.

It's a cold, snowy day. Luckily some of the units are resistant to cold fatigue. There's a hill on the corner, so I put the cannons there.

Except...they totally seem to know the range of my cannons and decide to attack me from the right, where my cannons cannot fire at due to being out of range. Damn you AI, force me to move my guys out of the trenches.

First shot of the battle: Crimson Blade opens fire on approaching Russian line.

The militia seem to be holding up pretty well too.

I'm digging those hats.

I move my whole line up on the other side while the Russians occupy my flank. The Polish are still out of range of my cannons.

You don't charge the First of Foot with cavalry.

Nor do you open fire on them. You just...don't.

Lines are getting engaged. GET EM!

Well, their line is faltering. ha!

I hate fighting light infantry with a passion. This is why I always order a massive charge on those bastards.

CUT THEM DOWN! NO SURVIVORS!

It's another win!

I wipe out the remaining garrison who survived that previous sally.

And the view...I can't see shit.

Yeah, I skipped to the victory screen.

Researching yet more naval and industrial tech. I need MOAR money!

And karma's a bitch. Before I can replenish my casualties, I find myself being the one under siege. It's my turn to sally....in the next update. =)

[Parrhesia]

And karma's a bitch. Before I can replenish my casualties, I find myself being the one under siege. It's my turn to sally....in the next update. =)

CLIFFHANGERRRRR

Giving Ukraine to some tribe was a move which showed your class. Also, lancers are cool always. And the Blades have nice hats. Will this spark rivalry between them and the Pandours?

...Incidentally, approximately how many turns have passed since the start?

[Integrity]

That was incredible, giving Kiev to the Huron.

Experience in TW games always confuses me. The Profiteers killed a hundred and fifty dudes and lost 7 and didn't get two chevrons until they lost 20 in the next battle? bulllllshit.

Furet: in E:TW, you start at Summer 1700. Each turn goes for two season changes: Winter 1700, Summer 1701, so on. We're on...Winter 1755, so rough guess with no maths involved 111 turns.

[IGdood]

CLIFFHANGERRRRR

Giving Ukraine to some tribe was a move which showed your class. Also, lancers are cool always. And the Blades have nice hats. Will this spark rivalry between them and the Pandours?

...Incidentally, approximately how many turns have passed since the start?

Eeeh...Pandours still have the cooler hats. Marines have better-looking uniforms.

That was incredible, giving Kiev to the Huron.

Experience in TW games always confuses me. The Profiteers killed a hundred and fifty dudes and lost 7 and didn't get two chevrons until they lost 20 in the next battle? bulllllshit.

Furet: in E:TW, you start at Summer 1700. Each turn goes for two season changes: Winter 1700, Summer 1701, so on. We're on...Winter 1755, so rough guess with no maths involved 111 turns.

That's about right. I don't take pictures for every single turn, otherwise my photobucket account would've exploded.

Exp limits are always a matter of confusion. For a standard 160-man unit, I believe the table goes as thus.

First Chevron: 70 kills

Second Chevron: 300 kills

Third Chevron: 600 kills

Fourth Chevron: 1000 kills

Fifth Chevron: 1500 kills

Sixth Chevron: 2100 kills

-And the 70 kills don't add up to the 300 kills, I believe its reset when a unit levels up. Unfortunately, this is assuming your units don't replenish casualties (lowers experience with level 0 soldiers) so it becomes nearly impossible to go beyond 5th. The maximum is actually 9 chevrons, but seriously...no unit will reach that level.

-Chasing down routers (the enemies with flashing white flags) counts only as 1/3 kill, because they are considered easy kills.

-Losing men also gives a small amount of experience, as I've noticed in all previous total war games where exp is easier to gain, some units gain 5 levels when losing about 90% of their force. Of course it falls back down after retraining.

And here are the actual level up stats.

Upgrades per Rank:

+2 Accuracy

+2 Reloading Skill

+1 Melee Attack

+1 Defence

+0.5 Morale

[Integrity]

hm.

I managed to get a three-gold unit of some Scottish light horse in M2TW once, but my record in Empire is the First Ohman Muskets, who made it to level 5 and then replenished down to level 4 and kept losing levels :(

[IGdood]

Thing about Medieval 2 Total War is that units don't receive experience penalties from replenishing. That's why it's possibly to get a full stack of 3-gold chevron (level 9) units.

Ha, I once forcibly leveled a unit of conscripts to level 5. They stopped there.

[Parrhesia]

Talking about Mediaeval 2 makes me think of the time I almost got a promoted captain King, but the stupid AI charged him into pikemen when he was reinforcing him.

All hail, Prince Paul Spill.

[Integrity]

I lost a ten-star general to my own chevaules les whatever the cavalry spikes are called in M2 once. That was just wrong, and I immediately ragequit the game.

[IGdood]

Ouchies. I always tend to forget to use generals in my armies; I just stay with captains.

Anyways...big update coming today....

Previously on Lost, Empire Total War, the Prussian main army finds itself cornered into a siege. Will they make it? Find out in the next hour! (or two).

Immediately I find that with this deployment, I'm WAY closer to the enemy then I initially expected. Oh well.

The Horse Artillery draw first blood. At this angle the cannonballs will go across the rows rather than go through them, thus coring more kills. I switched them over to use canister shot afterwards since its going to be a close range fight. Artillery in general doesn't kill a lot, but it does major morale damage and is long-ranged.

Whoa, those Russian soldiers are a bit too close for comfort. SHOOT!

Turning tail already? C'mon. We're just getting started.

I note a group of Garrison Guards taking cover behind that wall. I circle the militia around to flank them.

Meanwhile, I move my battle line forward to met the next wave of Russians. The green spots tell me where my troops will be standing; the green lines show their path.

Here's a close up of one of the benefits of Light Infantry Doctrine: Since the Profiteers are kneeling I can safely place them in front of my line infantry and let them do a double firing line. Sometimes accidents will happen, but in a way the Profiteers can also become meatshields of a sort. They'll be drawing fire but since they're kneeling they wouldn't take too many casualties. I won't do this if they're facing guard infantry though.

I'm a little tired of the slow pace of shootouts. I order a mass charge.

The Royal Curassiers are particularly effective at charging. They suck at running down routers, though.

"You're TOO SLOOOOOW~!" - Rough Rider before lancing a crewman.

Look! There's only one regiment left! GET'EM

HOLY SHIT WHERE DID YOU COME FROM!?

CRUSH THEM, PRINNIES!

Followed by a combined cavalry charge consisting of the General's Bodyguard, Whores, Rough Riders, and the Royal Curassiers.

It instantly crushes them. Meanwhile, the folks in the back form a square. That's only good against cavalry. I'm sending infantry after you. Oh yeah, that old fart of my general died. He'll get a pension. (Red skull on the bottom left.)

They rout without firing a single shot.

ALL CAVALRY! CUT THEM DOWN. Here you can see the speed differences. The Whores and Rough Riders are the fastest, being light and lancer cavalry, respectively. The Bodyguard follow second, being medium cavalry. The Curassiers are in the back, being heavy, slow cavalry.

Except it seems that lancer cavalry are even faster.

Slow horsies gonna catch sloppy seconds.

Sally success, we're not wiped!

So you come to your senses, Russia?

Lol, we didn't have human rights?!

Aww, they're gone too? At least I can end turns faster.

I recruit a new general. Nothing really special.

I move onto Sofia, just to deliver a blow to the Polish before asking for a peace treaty. I really want to move on beyond Europe, or at least beyond the Germanic lands.

I wish I can fight a battle where I'm outnumbered or something.

Standard defense deployment. Artillery on a hill, with militia covering them. Caavlry dispersed around the rear. Infantry deploy trenches and light infantry deploy fences.

I forgot to get the Marines/Crimson Blade to deploy a trench. Crap.

Here they come...

OPEN FIRE GUYS! Oh yeah, I replenished everyone by the way.

First wave is being beaten back, what then, what do you expect from Armed Citizenry?

[IGdood]

Marines, Pandours, and Swiss Guards work as one! Enemy Garrison Guards didn't even stop to fire, and they've been turned back!

There's one thing I noticed about the firing drills. Sometimes units will not use fire-by-rank, instead going into fire-at-will mode. This only seems to happen when the enemy is rushing, then your units will shoot as fast as they can. This is because Fire-By-Rank requires about 15 seconds of "setup" time after an enemy enters into a suitable firing range.

There's nothing grander than seeing your whole army march forward. I'm leaving cover because the Polish have been standing still for about 5 minutes now. I want to finish this.

And here we go again with the shooting!

A closer shot of our specialists in action.

And I send the pikes to catch a few irregulars in the forests.

Now this is what I call a bayonet charge.

Rare picture of an officer dying in hand-to-hand. Officers and drummers usually last a bit longer compared to other generics.

I send the elites to finish off the cannons.

Another reason to toast!

Peace with Poland. Let's see if it lasts.

Bulgaria's mine. I'm trying not to expand my empire so much. It has a relationship penalty with other nations because they start fearing you. Still, provinces can give you clout when it comes to exchanging them with other nations'. That way, I can get the provinces I want without having to start a war.

If you look at the map on the bottom left of the screen, you'll see Spain pretty much controls Western Europe. I control Central Europe. Russia and Sweden have Northeastern Europe. As for the United Provinces....good luck.

This is a very good drill, for the units who can use it. It pretty much allows a unit to give a constant barrage of musket balls non-stop. It doesn't have a big impact like fire-by-rank, but it guarantees a constant kill. It doesn't work so well against cavalry.

Hailo, we lerned 2 owe moneys. I accidentally the economy.

****ing Russia, when will you ever learn?

Sending our grand army off to the east. I'll take the closest town in sight.

A turn has barely passed and Spain has crushed these poor fellows already.

Uh oh, the Russians took Kiev back.

That's right, Crimea from FE 9 PoR was an actual place. Bet you didn't know that, didn't you?

ONE CAN SIMPLY STROLL INTO CRIMEA. Anyways, this enemy army is actually decent. Too bad I'm still better.

Urgh, foggy weather = bad screenshots.

Wait for my command... let's hold the line, gents.

I really gotta commend these guys for knowing how to aim in this shitty weather.

Here they come!!

They come in droves and we shall stop them. In other words, nobody's taking heavy casualties yet.

Profiteers, give 'em hell!

Hey hey, don't shoot DEM CLOAKS in the back.

BLAM BLAM BLAM

Left flank is taking heavy casualties! How'd you guys lose 100 men?! We've only started shooting for 5 minutes!

SEND IN THE CAVALRY!

Right flank's holding up pretty well.

Concentrate fire on those cavalry! Protect DEM CLOAKS

I fold my weakened right flank back. I'll need to reinforce it.

A faceful of death. (Canister shot)

Successful cavalry suicide strike on my artillery. Damn.

Wow, I fail at seeing things in the fog. Cavalry charges the Profiteers. C'mon line infantry, didn't you open fire?!

Anyways, wiping out what's left of the enemy....

Crimea's next!

But first, we'll replenish our forces here. It takes 2 turns to do that.

I'm thinking of doing a siege assault. Haven't had a meleefest in a long time.

Edited September 10, 2010 by skitarii

[Fayt Zelpher]

I'm a bit curious as to what the power and wealth rankings are. As in, you see power as 'strong' or 'mighty', and wealth as 'affluent' or 'spectacular', but I was curious as to what these terms mean (or at least a rank order of the terms).

[Integrity]

Incidentally, you double-posted the first page of results from the first combat.

[IGdood]

Alright, let's liberate Crimea from Daein these Russians!

Hmm...very unique walls. Oh well, they will not protect you.

Crimson Blade will take 2 units of line infantry and attack the right (from my view). First of Foot will take 3-4 units and attack the left. Let's move out.

Meanwhile, the horse artillery will attempt to blow their artillery to hell.

Let's keep moving! Ignore their bullets!

Line infantry making their way up. TO THE WALLS!

Crimson Blade officer is first onto the wall.

Meanwhile, the First of Foot's group just reached the wall.

Hey, some cavalry are trying to keep us off the ropes. GET 'EM!

Meanwhile, it's a bit of a traffic jam on the wall.

C'mon Crimson Blade, join the fight!

First of Foot's group have made it to the ground level, although they're dangerously exhausted. (I think that's -4 penalty for all stats)

Level clear. Let's move down.

Kool-Aid Man: OOOH YEEAAAAAAH.

After we clear the fort we'll head for the center!

Argh, mounted missile cavalry!

C'mon, I know you're tired. Kill those fuckers and you'll be good!

Even when exhausted, going into a square still makes you decent on cavalry. hehehe, what a cheap move.

GET THEIR FLAG!

THE DAY IS OURS

Stats, anyone?

Helllooo Crimea.

Yay I can finally construct this baby. It'll give me some of the best units available to Prussia.....i think?

Yess Russia, you sore loser.

I gift Crimea to the French, since I pity them.

One thing about total war that I haven't gone over yet: Navies. Navies move your trops around, and can engage in naval battles, the mechanics of which I won't go over until I actually get into a naval battle.

You only need one ship to transport an army. I keep a few just in case I get attacked.

Eh? Whatever. I'm waaaay richer than you'll ever be, Pollock.

I move the army through the waters to the Barbary States. I want your land, and it looks like I'll be going to war with the Ottomans?!

Maybe I can persuade you NOT to go to war with me, okay Otto?

Okay Mr. Otto, here's a load of useless technology, some money, an offer to go back to the status quo. Please accept, sir?

THANK YOU SIR.

Your big brother ain't here to help you now, Barbary States. Yes, that was a dick move on my part.

[IGdood]

I'm a bit curious as to what the power and wealth rankings are. As in, you see power as 'strong' or 'mighty', and wealth as 'affluent' or 'spectacular', but I was curious as to what these terms mean (or at least a rank order of the terms).

I believe the ranks go as thus: Strong-->Mighty-->Terrifying

Rich-->Affluent-->Spectacular

I believe power is an overall measure of one faction's armies and their quality and quantity, as well as their military technologies and facilities available.

Whereas wealth is not a measure of the amount of gold I have, but rather the wealth of my towns and the amount of money-making capabilities I have. I haven't gone in-depth with the buildings in this game, sorry for that. Anyways I build factories and while its expensive, over time the amount of money they produce increases as long as they're not destroyed.

Incidentally, you double-posted the first page of results from the first combat.

I fixed it. I hope.

Poland and Russia....you....are just....wtf?

It's okay Otto, I know I'm mean to the Barbary States.

Wassup, Great Britain? Yeah we can be bros.

Hey Britain, I said we could be bros but why are you attacking?

My forces are the reinforcements, so I've got nothing to deploy.

That would be me. I'd call myself Reinprussments.

First up is my general.... The red line is map boundary.

Then the artillery. Good, i'm gonna blow some holes in their walls while everyone else strolls in.

DEY GOTZ HIGHLAUNDERS.

Good luck, Scots.

I commence blasting a hole in that wall.

And they're all clustered at the fortress square. Okay...

The Brits send their artillery crew to assault the walls. Wtf?

That's not the way to go to battle.

Because this will happen to you.

Alright, with half the force we can start lining up.

One hole!

Gonna blow up the other section. After that I'm going to stack up my forces and prepare to breach.

Except they try to rush out of the hole to intercept my forces.

Go militia, get 'em!

The marines were waiting outside. They were met with camels. The camels got bayonetted. Go Crimson Blade.

Oh shit dudes with swords! Non-European factions usually have more melee units.

The marines are approximately between the two breached walls. Here we're looking at the breach on the right. While the enemy storm out, they get shot.

They just keep on coming.

Muskets are slow reloading...so....everyone's bound to get into a melee sometime.

A little battle in front of the fortress gates.

Routers? GET 'EM, WHORES.

I'm moving up the Swiss Guards.

I'll let the elites have the honor of charging in. In the name of glory!

They got swords. We have bayonets. Let it rip!

Since the Crimson Blade has suffered a few losses I let the First of Foot go in first.

Yeeaaaah.

Wait wait wait what?! OH SHIT. I just realized, the faction who makes the move in a siege effectively wins the settlement. Fuck. I wanted that province, you asshole Britfags!

Edited September 11, 2010 by skitarii

[Parrhesia]

Man, Barbary Pirates are cool. Will you be able to recruit them at any point? Anyway, a massive This Thread splurge is a good start to a Saturday afternoon~

I know the First of Foot inspire other units, but do they inspire themselves, or is there another unit that inspires them? 'Cause in one of those things it said they were inspired...I'd be inspired by the marine's hats, personally.

Anyway, given that Barbary was listed as Feeble, Meagre, you probably took out their only full-stack army. Good luck.

[IGdood]

Man, Barbary Pirates are cool. Will you be able to recruit them at any point? Anyway, a massive This Thread splurge is a good start to a Saturday afternoon~

I know the First of Foot inspire other units, but do they inspire themselves, or is there another unit that inspires them? 'Cause in one of those things it said they were inspired...I'd be inspired by the marine's hats, personally.

Anyway, given that Barbary was listed as Feeble, Meagre, you probably took out their only full-stack army. Good luck.

I don't think they're recruitable for Europeans. Perhaps if I played as the Barbary States themselves....

They don't inspire themselves. However, nearby units with the ability to inspire will stack up their bonuses (Marines, the unit with the commander, guards, etc.)

I probably did....this update might have enough diplomacy to last me a week.

Goodbye, Barbary States.

In exchange for Tripolitana, I give them Moldavia. It'll be a good buffer region in case Poland and Russia decide to act up. I find out that Tripolitana can't train shit, so I regret this decision. Now I need a way out besides war.

So, after much thinking and deliberation that took up 1 second of my time, I give Bulgaria and Tripolitana to Britain in exchange for Tunis, which has better training capabilities.

After many turns later, I send my grand army home. What did I do for all these turns...well...you'll soon find out. =)

At this point I would like to swear at Russia in my native Mandarin, but I'll settle with a big "FUCK YOU."

Aww man. I'm thinking I don't need a general. Morale's gonna be high all the time with the inspirational units (First of Foot + Crimson Blade). Besides, it relieves a slot in the army for another, more efficient unit.

NOOOO!? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO!? HEART ATTACK? LUNG CANCER!?

The new guy's....average.

Some technological advances.

OKAY. Remember a few lines up I said I waited many turns? Here's why.

Prinnies, First of Foot, Profiteers, Whores, Crimson Blade, Rough Riders, meet your new PARTNERS OF BATTLE!

These guys are on camels. That means they scare horses. Sure, their guns are short-ranged but they can fire on the move and have a decent charge bonus. They're also on mounts taller than horses, meaning I can safely park them behind infantry and let them fire without hitting my own troops.

I switched out the 6-pounder horse artillery for a 24-pounder horse GUARD artillery. Yup, these guys are packing 4 times the cannonball weight, and they can still run just as fast. Since this is a FE website and to make this game seem more FE-friendly I promptly name them "Beck's Shot." They're going to serve the general role of shooting other cannons down and blowing lines to bits when they come close enough.

Howitzers are something between a cannon and a mortar. They're short-ranged, but they can be placed behind your lines to bombard your enemy with Quicklime (acid) or Percussion (Explosives). Roundshot (Regular cannonballs) work too, but who wants that when you got the other two? I promptly name them Jake's Load. In the name of FEDS.

These rocket troops are a more elite version of the other rocket troop. Still, they're probably not gonna be killing much in battle. However, rockets deal major morale damage and cover a wide area. I name them Team Rocket by request of my friend.

I switched out my Landwehr Militia for these ladies. Sure, there's 40 less men/women, but they have 90 range, and the ability to hide almost anywhere. However, they have much worse stats all around. Whatever, I name them Hookers and Blow (from their guns, of course, you dirty-minded fools.)

Just...look at those badass clothes. Do I need any more explaining? By the way I switched out a unit of line infantry for these guys. Their name is a shoutout to a particular science fiction series....

What? A portrait? Wtf, you may say. Don't underestimate these guys. They're GIANT POTSDAM GRENADIERS for a reason. And their stats are over the roof. Holy shit. By Furetchen's request, I name them the 75th Chuck's Roundhouse Boys.

I move this 1337 army onto the navy, and they embark to.....INDIA.

Meanwhile, apparently Prussia is the first nation to reach a few naval milestones....

Back to the navy...

When going to other theaters of the world, you'll be taken to a completely different map. In Empire Total War, there are three theaters: India, Americas, and Europe. It takes a long time to travel between theaters, approximately 4 turns.

Meanwhile, I advance a bit in the farming department while the grand army travels to India.

We're here! What now? Mysore is an ally of the Marathas, so what to do? I spy...a rebel island! Let's stage an invasion there! YEAH!

Armies that disembark in a port can move again in the same turn. Otherwise it takes them a turn to get off the ship.

Alright, commence field tests of new guys.

I keep Beck's Shot in the front with the main battle line, while the others wait in the back since they can arc their shots. Pandours to the front, infantry behind them, and Desert Camels behind the Crimson Blade.

Team Rocket begins to reload....

SEND 'EM OVER

INCOMING! The rockets actually killed nobody, which is why Team Rocket suck in both the anime and in this game.

Jake's Load shoots Quicklime onto the advancing rebels. Quicklime, while not doing much in damage, will cause major morale shocks. I mean, the guys are suffocating and melting alive, I'd want to run off the battlefield!

Beck's Shot shoots Shrapnel Ammunition, which is like long ranged Canister Shot. Note all the red on the battlefield. It shows all the unfortunate souls who got hit (and won't be going home)

Closer look at the quicklime. Smokey.

Like the Landwehrs, the Hookers also know how to fire with their whole unit.

Ah, the 3-line fire. Profiteers, Infantry unit (in this case, Crimson Blade), and Camels.

I run the Profiteers back. I don't like them taking losses.

Camels, FIRE!!

Courtesy shot of the Tallarn Desert Foxes.

After everyone else is dead, I send the Hookers forward to eliminate the enemy artillery. Granted, I could've sent the Profiteers, but the Hookers have much better accuracy and 160 guns firing at once vs. the Profiteers' 80.

I also press the checkmark too fast, so no stats screen for you guys. Sorry. That also means this one battle won't be going into the Excel document. Anyways, i spend about the next 20 turns building up this island into a naval outpost of sorts. It is also here that the grand army will get some reinforcements....

Indian Infantry Mercenaries. Their stats are a bit lower than other line infantry (by a smidge), but they come in groups of 200. Switched out a unit of line infantry.

By Furetchen's other request, I recruited a unit of Company Line Infantry and promptly named them the 68th Bohemian Bitchslappers. Company Line Infantry are identical to regular line infantry (Well they have a bit inferior stats in the case of Prussia's Company Line, nothing to worry about). However, they have much better-looking hats.

Stay tuned for more! I think its off to the Americas now!

Edited September 11, 2010 by skitarii

[Parrhesia]

The line infantry are ever so slowly being phased out in favour of units with ever cooler hats.

[Integrity]

This game just graduated from cool to awesome.

Native Bowmen Auxiliary plz, the Other Kinda Indians.

[IGdood]

The line infantry are ever so slowly being phased out in favour of units with ever cooler hats.

And superior shooting ability (mostly). However, there's one disadvantage to this if everyone's elite. Someone's going to have to be the meatshield. I'm looking at the Royal Cairo Guards, Indian Mercenaries, and the Bitchslappers.

This game just graduated from cool to awesome.

Native Bowmen Auxiliary plz, the Other Kinda Indians.

Thanks....for the last few days I've been playing until 1-2am in the morning for some reason. Oh well. And yes, you will have your bows. Soon.. Maybe.

So...UPDATE!

I was going to ferry another two special units over to the grand army. However on their way there a Russian naval patrol decides to stop me. Not happy with this, I decide to blow their asses into the sea. (By the way, ships can be named also.) 2 against 5 sure is a fair fight. But they're Russians, they come at me in numbers.

Naval Battle Tutorial...right. um. Shit, I forgot to open up the stats page......anyways I'll go with the flow. Like land battles, you can deploy your ships in the water.

Here's a close-up look at the ship. The compass/arrow on top shows wind direction. Every ship has a speed; but it can only be maximized by sailing into the direction of the wind. Otherwise, you won't be moving very far.

Next to the cannon icon is 48/48. That means I've got 48 cannons on this ship, approximately equally divided into 24 for each side. Guns can be disabled as the engagement wears on. This ship has 182/182 crewmen. Crewmen will die as the battle rages on, particularly if you use special ammunition.

Crewmen consist of sailors (who load the guns) and marines (musket-armed troops who fire at enemy crewmen) and an officer. If you forget to focus on the battle you'll see your crew walking around and doing what needs to be done. The ship's name is the Sturm and it is of the Heavy Frigate unit type. Ships can range from very lightly armed and fast (Sloops) to medium-class (Heavy Frigate) to a mighty naval fortress (first rate). I didn't really build much of a navy in the beginning of this simply because its very very expensive to maintain a fleet.

See those cones/zones with orange boundaries? Those tell me the range of these ships. I've only got two, so I keep them together. I go with the wind.

The Russians have what appears to be an Indiaman in their midst. Indiamen are the shittiest ships ever, but they're useful if you acquire a "Trade Node", which is basically a place to harvest lots of money. Note that like land battles, ships also have morale. The green bars floating on top of each ship is an indicator of hull strength. Whenever one side of the hull reaches 0, the ship sinks, unless your ships score a lucky critical hit and the enemy ship starts flooding automatically.

If you see a line of ships head straight at you, keep your broadside (that is, your sides) facing them. That way you'll get the first shot off.

But since the Russians have speedy little shits ships, they can steer faster. However, my lead ship has already opened fire.

I'm going to attempt to cut off that line of theirs with my second ship. It's great if you can use both sides of your ship to the advantage.

It didn't work. However one of their ships is already routing. It doesn't take much to rout ships. If they reach half hull-strength/lose guns/lose crew they'll sail out of there.

I try another attempt at cutting this guy off.

It works better than I intended, CRITICAL HIT! If a cannonball somehow hits the gunpowder chamber, their ship will blow. It's like a critical hit, and if I zoomed in closely I can see crew members flying through the sky and into the sea.

The skirmish rages on. Still, light ships may be speedier, but my medium ships will kick their asses.

Ships that are routing may surrender if you shoot at them some more. Surrendered ships will be CAPTURED provided they don't sink from getting in the way of cannonballs (your ships won't care if a surrendered vessel is in the way)

Another router.

Anyone loving the graphics engine as much as I do?

Bye bye!

Here you can choose what to do with a captured ship. You can sell it for cash, or add it to the fleet. However, you will have to redistribute crewmen to a captured ship.

After a few turns, this pair of vessels meets up with the grand fleet carrying the grand army in the Atlantic Ocean.

Before I land on the mainland, I go for Antigua, a territory belonging to the Pirates. Why? Because I can.

I put them under siege and decide to go for an assault. Ha. It's gonna be a slaughter.

Here's a shot of the Indian Infantry Mercenaries. Their officer really looks grand.

Here are the 75th Chuck's Roundhouse Boys.

The pirates immediately open up with their cannons. Having experience with sieges these cannons may be inaccurate, but if I'm unlucky I can lose quite a few men.

I send forth the named elites (First of Foot, Crimson Blade, 75th Roundhouse) and the Indian Mercs and the 68th Bitchslappers to assault the walls. They take fire, hopefully not too much. I get the artillery to give some covering fire.

I also notice that the Indian Mercs don't have bayonets....

These casualties are a bit too much for my liking....Almost 20 from the First of Foot!

The Roundhouse boys deliver some Roundhousing of their own to the pirates.

Whereas the Crimson Blade and the First of Foot deliver a combined assault. I find that they work very well together, possibly from a A support ranking? Ha. Someone tell me their affinities. Water and ???

Roundhouse Boys making some progress.

While the Bitchslappers and the Indian mercs aren't doing too well.

FIrst of Foot and the Crimson Blade are off the battlements and onto solid stone flooring.

Roundhouse Boys also on the floor, delivering bayonets and kicks to the pirates.

68th and Indian Mercs still not doing too well. C'mon, you're not Guards but still! These are mere ruffians you're fighting!

I send the First of Foot to pull off a BigDamnedHeroes moment and save their asses, while the Crimson Blade will fight down to the fort's center.

I'm surprised the pirates haven't routed by now. Maybe they're afraid of Davey Jones.

HOO-RAH! Meanwhile, i send for reinforcements in the distance.

Looks like the 75th is going to need to kill some more. They're unsupported but they've made it this far with only 39 casualties. not to mention, 20 of those were from lucky wall-cannon shots. The other 19 were from pirate melee, and there were about 200 pirates back there.

Either this is the funniest fucking glitch ever or some bug, but these Buccaneers don't have weapons, but they're using the sword animations.

It gets crowded. Fast.

On the other end, the 68th, Indian Mercs, and the First of Foot have killed the defenders and are ready to proceed to the floor.

Fatigue is starting to get to the Roundhouse Boys. They're starting to drop.

They haven't routed yet!? WHAT?

Hey look, more buccaneers.

EVERYONE CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!

KOOL-AID OOOH YEAAAAH MOMENT

Here we see an inverted BigDamnedHeroes moment. The Roundhouse Boys get saved by generic line infantry (albeit very experienced)

I order the grenadiers to pull back. They've had enough for today.

Checkmate, fucker.

I'm in ur base, killing ur bodyguards.