Thor Odinson Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 "Whoa, whoa, hey, now..." argues Senator Buffy Down. "What happened to Mr. Lotsalovin is no different than affairs that happen all over Raging Fire every day! Before you know it, they'll be after YOUR sexual history! I think what we need to do is take the public attention off of it somehow, perhaps by... oh, I don't know... giving them a tax cut! That'll divert their attention from this momentary distraction just long enough for Mr. Lotsalovin's divorce process to end!" Yes Finally I've been /trying/ to get people a fucking tax cut for ages Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CT075 Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 "Are you all INSANE? This will ruin the health insurance business and drive up unemployment rates," argues Mary Barry, head of the largest insurance provider in SERENE CAFE GUARDIAN. "If everyone working for their health insurance could suddenly get it free, there would be fewer jobs filled. It would get worse for everyone involved. The government should investigate the motives of these troublemaking 'protestors', instead!" we must return to being a psychotic dictatorship Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balcerzak Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Owing to high crime rates, wealthy residents of several cities are asking for permission to build walls around their neighborhoods and employ private security to keep the peace. Several advocacy groups have gathered in your office to lobby regarding gated communities. The Debate "Crime rates in our city have sky-rocketed recently," says distressed investment banker, Bianca Laine, "And we think we should be allowed to shelter ourselves from the criminal hordes with armed private security. We've got contractor bids in place for a sturdy, steel-reinforced wall with electrified razor wire and poisoned barbs. Oh, and lasers - got to have lasers! Granted, it probably won't reduce the crime rate in the rest of the city, but frankly, that's not our problem." This is the position your government is preparing to adopt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Integrity Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 "I think you're approaching this the wrong way," says Andrew Lavelle, the proprietor of UltraCorp-SmithMax Chemicals Inc. "If people can't get out and about, it's clearly due to a lack of energy. Our product range includes an ideal solution; we could add POWERTHIRST [TM] to the national water supply! And better yet, it only has a very slight risk of causing zombification or exploding cattle!" ... *Accept* POWERTHIRST: GODBERRY - KING OF THE JUICE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charlie_ Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 18 hours ago: Following new legislation in Bye Refa, recruitment posters proclaim the army to be both fabulous and fashionable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleph Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 (edited) Guns are banned, the military has quashed a recent coup attempt, anti-government web sites are springing up, and the government has instituted 'traveller reservations' across the country. Crime is totally unknown. Aigzdetchival's national animal is the Human, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its currency is the Holy. [...]the government has instituted 'traveller reservations' across the country. Crime is totally unknown. Aigzdetchival's national animal is the Human[...] [...]Crime is totally unknown.[...] Crime is totally unknown. Fuck a crime. I don't need it. Edited March 18, 2012 by Aleph Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riariadne Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 why do I keep accidentally giving people rights on the plus side more people in the committed are killed by crows than people Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peener weener Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 oh god did you seriously make the national animal the crow the dave strider thing? its going too far Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacLovin Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 9 hours ago: Following new legislation in Harpoon-The Procrastinator, newborns are being raised as mindless killing machines. I love my children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darros Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I just got the Harry Potter issue. Haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacLovin Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 The Dictatorship of Harpoon-The Procrastinator is a huge, economically powerful nation, remarkable for its compulsory Nudity. Also. 1212 nudes per square mile. The enormous government devotes most of its attentions to Defence, with areas such as the Environment and Social Welfare receiving almost no funds by comparison. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 33%. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Information Technology, Pizza Delivery, and Gambling industries. Newborns are being raised as mindless killing machines, skateparks can be found in every city, record sales of 'child-whacking sticks' have been reported, and conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings OH FUCK YES, KIDNAP NEWBORN INFANTS AND TRAIN THEM TO BE RUTHLESS KILLING MACHINES. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Icon of Sin Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 9 hours ago: Following new legislation in Harpoon-The Procrastinator, newborns are being raised as mindless killing machines. I love my children. Been there, done that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacLovin Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Been there, done that. Is there an option to forcefully brainwash your citizens and turn them into killer cyborgs? And, this is probobly the reason tourists hate my nation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleph Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Tourists love my nation. Presumably because of all the lush forests and negative toxicity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esme Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Tourists love my nation. Presumably because of all the lush forests and negative toxicity. +1 for eco-friendliness Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleph Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 We're more than just friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freohr Datia Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Sad, sad day. I lost my 100% ;~; Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rehab Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 This looks awesome but I have no idea what to do with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freohr Datia Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 This looks awesome but I have no idea what to do with it. I had no idea either and just did random stuffs xD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rehab Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Yar, I can't even decide on an origi- WAIT AMISH PARADISE AMISH GANGSTER PARADISE YES. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleph Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 What fresh new hell...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esme Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacLovin Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 11 hours ago: Following new legislation in Harpoon-The Procrastinator, "The Daily Sacrifice" is a routine segment of morning news shows So I got the human sacrifice option.......>_> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Integrity Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 "Hold on there, hold on people!" says Sarah Sparkle of the Integristan Broadcasting company, "We don't have to take either extreme, all we have to do is make a TV game show out of it! We put deadly obstacles on the border and monitor it with television cameras! Those that make it across win freedom and citizenship, and those who don't, well, lets just say that our buzzards won't starve. We could call it 'Who Wants to be an Immigrant?'!" so. goddamn. tempting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacLovin Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 "Hold on there, hold on people!" says Sarah Sparkle of the Integristan Broadcasting company, "We don't have to take either extreme, all we have to do is make a TV game show out of it! We put deadly obstacles on the border and monitor it with television cameras! Those that make it across win freedom and citizenship, and those who don't, well, lets just say that our buzzards won't starve. We could call it 'Who Wants to be an Immigrant?'!" so. goddamn. tempting. DO EET! Yeah, do it, that way you'd get tough immigrants AND free entertainment! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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