Jump to content

Stupid things you've heard people say


Chiki
 Share

Recommended Posts

Yesterday, my friend was telling me about this person she met at a camp who apparently said "I'm a girl now, so I like boys, but when I get a sex change, I'm gonna like girls". My other friends and I were like "...What?"

I remember a girl who said she was a homosexual attracted to trangendered males (girls who became guys). Confused the hell out of me at the time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 179
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

I remember a girl who said she was a homosexual attracted to trangendered males (girls who became guys). Confused the hell out of me at the time.

What does that make her?

/confused.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Called an AT&T store just now.

ATT: Thank you for calling AT&T. How may I help you?

Me: Hi, is <name> available right now?

ATT: Yes he is.

Me: Can I speak with him?

ATT: No, he's currently with a customer.

Guess I don't know what "available" means anymore.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My former upstairs neighbors were a bunch of "bro" type guys who had parties all the time, and one particular evening they were escorting a very intoxicated girl down the stairs and she says, "If you were an animal, you'd be a sailor."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You can give drunk people the benefit of the doubt. I've undoubtedly heard a lot of drunken shit in my time, and no doubt said stupid stuff myself.

I live on a 4th floor apartment with the girlfriend. She wanted to leave some gone-off bread on the balcony for the birds, and I asked, "Do they even fly this high?"

I realised my derpidity almost immediately and walked back inside without waiting for an answer. Wasn't even drunk.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

apparently liberals aren't allowed to celebrate Independence Day

I remember a girl who said she was a homosexual attracted to trangendered males (girls who became guys). Confused the hell out of me at the time.

when one or both (!!) parties is trans it's weird to think about

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Some kid was telling me how she likes to cook, obviously implying she knows the difference between cooking and preparing...

Kid:I know how to cook too, you know

Me:Oh, and what do you cook?

Kid:A salad

Me:O_O!!!

Kid:...What?

Me:*at this point, facepalming*...You can't, you don't cook a salad

And that brat actually got pissed off about it

Kid:YES YOU DO!

Me: You... don't... you CAN'T cook a salad, it's impossible...

Kid: Well, I did

Me:...*buries face in hands* did you... was it good?

Kid: I liked it...

Me:>_<'' *leaves room*

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Knowing that idiot child, she would've whined and fake cried until salad was cooked then didn't eat it, saying something like "I didn't cook my salad like this"

Reminding of another thing that same idiot child said...

So we're all eating peaches and whatever, and she wants a peach cut in half to eat, nothing wrong with that, she gets her peach cut in half and eats it...

Note: the Peaches she had were brought from her home and that she ate the day prior and boasted about it... and she says... "this peach is nasty, too juicy"

Me:Are you a...you know what F**k it

Then she got chewed out and I lol'd

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hmm... I have quite the list but these are the first three that come to my mind.

"Buying gf!" - Almost a given on a nonmember RuneScape world when I used to play.

"Lyk legit ur fat i dont wanna b mean but u r. dont lyk act lyk ur hot shit. nd u shoudnt wear a bellyring cuz ur fat in ur stomach cums out" - A question some troll asked my cousin when Formspring was a thing.

"If I could buy any country, I'd buy Africa." Some mentally deficient girl that goes to my school.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Some kid was telling me how she likes to cook, obviously implying she knows the difference between cooking and preparing...

Kid:I know how to cook too, you know

Me:Oh, and what do you cook?

Kid:A salad

Me:O_O!!!

Kid:...What?

Me:*at this point, facepalming*...You can't, you don't cook a salad

And that brat actually got pissed off about it

Kid:YES YOU DO!

Me: You... don't... you CAN'T cook a salad, it's impossible...

Kid: Well, I did

Me:...*buries face in hands* did you... was it good?

Kid: I liked it...

Me:>_<'' *leaves room*

Well, you could cook it. >___>

Also I see the word cook these days used way more generally.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would excuse them if they were under twelve.

i heard someone say 9/11 was fake and never happened.

I heard someone say they think tourists should be allowed to vote in other countries.

And even worse, someone said the earth was 2013 years old in history class. He was 18.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would excuse them if they were under twelve.

i heard someone say 9/11 was fake and never happened.

I heard someone say they think tourists should be allowed to vote in other countries.

And even worse, someone said the earth was 2013 years old in history class. He was 18.

is this better or worse than thinking it's 6000 years old

Link to comment
Share on other sites

*Kid sees me looking at this picture on my phone*

Kid: "Why are you looking at Woody the Woodpecker?"

Me: *using every ounce of self-control to not strangle him*

"That's not Woody the Woodpecker, that's Kazooie. From Banjo Kazooie."

Kid: ".........wait......but aren't they the same?"

Me: *Kratos Rage*

Edited by Brendor the Brave
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm changing the names of the people (aside from myself obviously) for my own protection here. I get chewed out enough already. They are paraphrased a bit simply for the sake of conciseness.

Me: I'm not into men. I like women.

Other person: So you're sexist then?

---

Person: America must be a horrible place to live.

Me: Why?

Person: Well, everyone is super poor there, you have guns everywhere, tons of gang wars, and missionaries everywhere. I wouldn't want to live there. Europe is so much better!

Me: I think you are confusing America with Africa.

Person: No. Africa is where all those white people live who play hockey.

---

Person: Oh GOD! I hate all these stupid weeaboo fantasy RPG's on this board!

*At the same time he is running a sign up for his own RP*

Actual RP Sign-up. NOT PARAPHRASED OR ALTERED IN ANY WAY!: Anybody ever watch the show Oz? It was on HBO back in the late 90's and early 00's, and it is AWESOME!

I think that would make a good RP. Players could be the various prisoners and staff in Oswald State Penitentiary.

Plus, there's lots of character options, with twelve factions in all, both prisoners and workers.

There are ten gangs in Oswald Prison's Emerald City Unit, and two non-prisoner factions as well.

The ten gangs are as follows: The Homeboys, The Italians, The Aryans, The Muslims, The Bikers, The Latinos, The Gays, The Christians, The Irish, and The Others.

The two non-prisoner factions are The Guards and The Staff (the key difference is that the former are correctional officers, and the latter are the administration and medical staff).
---
Person: It's a conspiracy I tell you! All this High Fructose Corn Syrup! The government wants us eating this unhealthy and addictive stuff! It's in practically every product!
Just the tip of the iceberg here. I hear a LOT of similar stuff frequently.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm changing the names of the people (aside from myself obviously) for my own protection here. I get chewed out enough already. They are paraphrased a bit simply for the sake of conciseness.

Me: I'm not into men. I like women.

Other person: So you're sexist then?

--

Person: It's a conspiracy I tell you! All this High Fructose Corn Syrup! The government wants us eating this unhealthy and addictive stuff! It's in practically every product!
Just the tip of the iceberg here. I hear a LOT of similar stuff frequently.

These sound like jokes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...