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RIP Top Gun Fish


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This morning I lost a dear friend and loyal ally.

His name was Top Gun Fish.

Three days ago, Top Gun Fish forgot how to swim. Normally, this is a crippling handicap in a goldfish. But where most goldfish who forget how to swim end up dying quickly, Top Gun Fish felt this was a waste of his talents.

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Top Gun Fish in repose

He spent the rest of his life floating towards the surface of the tank, doing slow, languid barrel rolls - earning his name in the process - looking slightly confused at his plight, but accepting it in good grace. Top Gun Fish never lost his temper or his nerve. He knew what the situation was, and he did his best.

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Top Gun Fish contemplating the future

This morning, I did not find Top Gun Fish performing his customary slow, arcing maneuvres. I did find him floating near the top of the tank, but he was not blinking owlishly or breathing. Life, it seemed, was finally extinct.

But Top Gun Fish will live long in my memory - certainly longer than he lived in person - and I felt as though a small, tasteful obituary was in order. I feel internet fame was what Top Gun Fish would have wanted.

Requiescat in pace, my friend.

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thank you for your sincere thoughts, this is a tough time for me and i can only get through this with your support

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